I could be right, I could be wrong
It hurts so bad it's been so long
Mama, I'm comin' home
Mama I'm Coming Home - Ozzy Osbourne
There was not much down time to be had at all before setting out to Nibelheim, but Zack and Cloud made the best of it once they returned to Midgar. The campus was abuzz with activity, with half of the barracks noticeably empty once Squadron A had left to begin the peacekeeping effort in Costa del Sol.
Zack and Cloud quickly showered upon their return to their quarters, and went down to the cafeteria for some much needed food. Zack grinned as he saw Cloud loading his tray with huge portions.
"Apparently you're hungry after our little adventure?" Zack commented dryly, mischief lighting his eyes. Though both of them were bone-tired, the shower had refreshed them momentarily.
"You could say that," Cloud replied, grinning. He gave Quinn a nod as she grabbed her own tray and got into the chow line behind him.
"So...Quinn, you're still here, that tells me you must be going to Nibelheim too?" Cloud asked her. The girl nodded affirmatively.
"Yep!" Quinn replied eagerly. "First real mission for me. I can't believe they lifted the restrictions against allowing females," she added soberly, using tongs to grab a slab of spare ribs from the hot foods section. "I guess that shows how serious the situation is...all hands on deck," she quipped.
"Seems that way," Zack agreed, helping himself to several cheeseburgers. "Um - I think four cheeseburgers is a bit greedy of me, hmm?" He laughed, putting one of the foil-wrapped sandwiches back into the warming tray. "I'll only take three."
"Very conservative," Cloud said, chuckling. "We haven't eaten in nearly a day, though. I'm unbelievably hungry."
"I heard about what happened in Costa," Quinn said cautiously, following Zack and Cloud over to a small corner table and joining them. "Are you guys okay?"
"Well, we're alive," Zack said dryly, shrugging his shoulders. "Tired, but we'll manage. It was just bizarre. Hell, everything is bizarre lately...it's like the world has gone upside down. Angeal's gone, Genesis - well, I'm not really sure of his status, really. We thought he fell to his death in Modeoheim. But now some villagers in Nibelheim think they saw him."
"It certainly looked like he did," Cloud commented, nodding and chewing thoughtfully. "No human could survive a fall like that...he went into an abyss. I couldn't even see to the bottom, I looked over the rail after he jumped down from there."
"Well...to be fair, Genesis isn't entirely human, and neither is Angeal," Zack interjected wearily. "I have no idea what Hollander was thinking. Quinn, you've been briefed on all of this, I hope?" Zack said suddenly, unaware if Squadron A had been completely filled in.
"We have been, yeah," Quinn nodded. "General Sephiroth addressed us after the others left. It seems there aren't very many of us going to Nibelheim."
"No, there aren't," Zack agreed. "Sephiroth left a copy of the roster under my door. Just me, the general you guys, and another trooper...Weingarten, I think. Everyone else is in Costa. I wonder how they're doing out there."
Sephiroth was back in his quarters, drinking from his cup of Wutaian loose-leaf tea that had long gone cold. He inhaled the smoky aroma of the tea leaves, recalling that day when he'd been gifted the tea by his lover.
Former lover, Sephiroth reminded himself. He sighed, not out of sadness or melancholy, just from the unfortunate realization that the dalliance with Kunsel was now over. There had been no real love between the two men; at least not on Sephiroth's part, but there had been some sort of affection. Friends with benefits, Kunsel had termed it. And for some time, Sephiroth had thought he needed someone to keep an eye on Zack and the young cadet he'd taken up with - Cloud Strife of Nibelheim.
"Hmm...Cloud Strife," Sephiroth said out loud, in the quiet stillness of his darkened quarters. He recalled the cadet in a cursory fashion, remembering Cadet Fredo's assault on the young man, and all the paperwork that ensued after the latter's expulsion. Not an easy start to the year for a first-year cadet, certainly, Sephiroth thought. How he and Zack ended up as a couple- Sephiroth shook his head, puzzling that one out. He did not understand romantic attachments in general, and did not really desire such a relationship himself; Sephiroth had found that the closer he grew to someone, the more stifling it became; the more he would want to break free. Kunsel had not exactly been needy, but he'd wanted that which Sephiroth could not give. He wanted more than just the occasional roll in the hay.
Love. Sephiroth pondered the word curiously, rolling it over in his mind. It was an emotion the general supposed he was incapable of feeling, or bestowing those feelings upon another. He supposed he loved Genesis and Angeal in the bonds of friendship and brotherhood in SOLDIER, but that was different. They were comrades-at-arms, not lovers. Toward Kunsel, he'd felt desire - and fond affection - but that was it. Sephiroth's did not yearn for the man's presence all the time, as Zack seemed to do with his young lover.
And even though Kunsel had respected Sephiroth enough to give him his space when he needed it, it was still not enough. Sephiroth preferred his solitary existence, peppered here and there by liaisons with men and women he did not feel any real attachment to.
He began to draw away from Kunsel, despite bearing no ill will toward the man. Sephiroth felt...nothing. The general began to wonder if that was normal, this feeling of detachment from everyone with whom he'd had a liaison. Seeing Cloud and Zack together, no longer hiding their relationship, -it made Sephiroth step outside of himself for a moment. It was not something he was accustomed to, this self-analysis. How many times had Hojo sent him for a psych work up – and how many times had Sephiroth played mental hopscotch with the shrink, deflecting those probing questions with a practiced ease, as if it were an actual chess game and not a session with a psychoanalyst.
Checkmate.
Sephiroth was wary by nature, and simply would not let anyone in. Genesis and Angeal were the only two in the world that he considered his friends, the only two he'd ever allowed himself that emotional attachment to, and now…now they were gone from his life. Angeal, it was certain, was gone forever, returned to the Lifestream, though it was uncertain if any clones of the First Class remained within the realm of the living. Sephiroth held a small amount of hope that they would find Genesis in Nibelheim, but logic told the general that this was, in all likelihood, just another sighting of a Genesis copy, and not the man himself.
Once Cloud and company had returned from the ill-fated mission to Modeoheim, Sephiroth knew that Strife was now privy to certain information by default, as was everyone else in that squadron. Information that had previously been classified; information that Sephiroth had feared an impetuous Zack Fair would blurt out indiscriminately to his lover.
And now that Sephiroth had addressed all of the Academy's cadets and SOLDIERS alike, the general realized that there was no longer any need to have Kunsel tailing Zack and Cloud as a precaution. He'd told Kunsel as much himself, just prior to the assembly.
"I won't be needing you anymore, Kunsel," Sephiroth had said lightly, not realizing the loaded entendre of his words until he saw the Second's face fall. "What I mean to say, is - you won't need to monitor Fair and Strife any longer. Being that Strife was on the Modeoheim mission, it seems rather obvious that he knows everything that had previously been classified. We are all in this together now," he added, hoping to bolster Kunsel's morale with that statement.
"Understood, sir," Kunsel had said, saluting the general before being dismissed, and the SOLDIER did understand all too well. He'd been used and discarded, just as he knew he might be when taking up with the general.
What Kunsel hadn't predicted, was just how much it would sting his pride when the affair came to an end. It was with some shame and embarrassment that he found himself at the general's apartment that evening prior to the mission to Nibelheim, knocking softly upon the door. Kunsel knew the general was not expecting him, but the latest info he'd uncovered - well, it just had to be shared, and it was something that couldn't wait until Sephiroth came back.
"Kunsel...what brings you here?" Sephiroth said upon opening the door, surprised to have anyone calling on him at this hour.
"I have some intel you need to hear, sir," Kunsel replied, hiding his eyes behind the helmet that he wore all the time now - mainly to avoid Sephiroth's searing gaze. "I'm sorry, it couldn't wait."
"Please, come in," Sephiroth said congenially, gesturing. "You may remove your helmet, you know...you're off duty," he added, smiling slightly.
Kunsel stiffened; was that a come-on? No...it couldn't be. Their little 'friends with benefits' arrangement had come to an abrupt end, and Sephiroth had made that very plain. "It's fine, sir. I'm not here for a social visit," Kunsel replied, flinching at how clipped and abrupt he sounded.
"Very well," Sephiroth answered, shrugging his shoulders. He knew then that he'd hurt the SOLDIER's pride, but there was nothing he could do about that now. "There is something you wish me to know?"
"Yes," Kunsel replied, nodding. "I've uncovered some interesting information...the name of the one who was funding Hollander's research."
Sephiroth's brows shot up in surprise. "Who? Is it anyone I know?" The question drew a smirk from Kunsel.
"Indeed you do," Kunsel said, enjoying these few moments of keeping Sephiroth in suspense. "It's been Director Lazard all along."
"Lazard!" Sephiroth exclaimed, truly shocked by the revelation. "And where is Lazard now? Has he returned from his trip?" The last Sephiroth had heard, Lazard had been accompanying some of the Seconds and Thirds on a brief trip to Junon Harbor.
"He never returned," Kunsel said thickly. "Lazard was due back today, and the Seconds and Thirds who were with him have just reported that Director Lazard did not meet them when he was supposed to, for the return trip to Midgar.
"Unless there is some satisfactory explanation for his disappearance, I suppose we can assume that he has defected from Shinra as well," Sephiroth mused, shaking his head with disapproval. "What sort of madness is going on here!" the general exclaimed angrily, striking his fist against the wall. He sighed, and gave Kunsel an appreciative nod.
"You've done well, Kunsel," Sephiroth murmured. "And I thank you for your loyalty...it is something which seems to be in short supply these days."
Kunsel shrugged, his face flushing a bit under the helmet. "Just doing my job, sir."
Sephiroth placed both hands on Kunsel's shoulders, forcing him to face him. "But it was a bit more than that for you, wasn't it?" the general whispered, stepping forward. He tipped his head down and gave the SOLDIER a slow yet chaste kiss.
"I am sorry I could not be what you needed, Kunsel," Sephiroth whispered. "Sometimes I do wonder...if I am even capable of loving another." It was a thought he hadn't meant to say out loud, not to Kunsel especially, but there it was; he'd given voice to the thing that had been plaguing him lately.
"Um...sir?" Kunsel stammered; he was starting to feel really uncomfortable now with this sudden turn in the conversation. "I'd better get going. Good luck in Nibelheim tomorrow...Sephiroth."
Sephiroth closed his eyes briefly, then opened them, nodding as he ushered Kunsel out. "Thank you, Kunsel. I shall brief the others in the morning. Good night." It was with a heavy sigh that Sephiroth fastened and locked the door after Kunsel's departure. This was all for the best, wasn't it? It hadn't been right in the first place, really, to use the Second Class in that fashion.
But...we needed each other, for a time. Each for our own purpose, but it seems that time has passed. The question buzzed again in Sephiroth's brain like angry bees, and he wished he'd had the power to physically swat those intrusive thoughts away, scattering them.
Am I not capable of love, of romantic attachment to another? Will it always be so - brief, torrid affairs to satiate my physical needs, want shrouded in lust, only to be terminated when I've grown tired of my lover's mere presence?
He remembered Genesis's counsel on the subject some months ago. Genesis, the only one he'd confided in about such matters. Sephiroth chuckled darkly at the recollection.
"I've done some reading on the subject of love," Sephiroth had told Genesis. "Such a fascinating human emotion."
Genesis had laughed out loud at this. "You speak of it in such a cold, abstract fashion, Sephiroth. Are you not human yourself?" he'd said in a teasing tone.
Sephiroth thought nothing of it at the time, but merely laughed along with Genesis, self-deprecatingly. "Of course I am," he scoffed. "I daresay I am more of a man than you are," Sephiroth had taunted, knowing exactly which buttons to press where Genesis was concerned. But then, Genesis's tone grew serious.
"There are those who would say I am in love with myself," Genesis had said with a laugh and a wave of his gloved hand. "And perhaps that is true, to a point. I am terribly vain, you know." Genesis smirked again; another sardonic grin that gave way to a brilliant smile. "But men of SOLDIER, such as we...do not think for one moment that we must harden our hearts to stone in order to remain in control. There is no shame in loving another; in needing someone so terribly that you can taste their name on your lips when they are gone from you. The trick is not to lose your sense of who you are, even if you give your heart to another."
"You speak so passionately, Genesis," Sephiroth had praised him. "I admire that about you. I just don't know - "
"Bah, you're overanalyzing again, Sephiroth! Love is love. If it is meant to happen, it will just happen. Not everything in life requires your military strategizing skills. Just let go, and live a little. Look at the Puppy, for instance. Threw himself at that unsuspecting cadet, wearing his heart on his sleeve like an ingénue, and now they're inseparable. Despite their great efforts to keep their romance covert, they are failing miserably," Genesis sniggered devilishly.
"I had wondered about those two," Sephiroth had said. "So it is true. I do hope...that Zack doesn't reveal anything he shouldn't."
"Sephiroth, please," Genesis deadpanned. "If only you knew how many military secrets have been divulged in those barracks across a shared pillow."
Sephiroth realized now how terribly he missed his friends. Despite all that he knew now - Genesis's betrayal and desertion, his seeming madness - Sephiroth dearly missed his friend and confidante. And he also missed Angeal's steady nature, his strict sense of moral code, that dry sense of humor.
He lay in bed that night, unable to sleep, wondering if they would find Genesis in Nibelheim the next day, or would this be another red herring. And Sephiroth wondered just what he might say to the man if he did come face-to-face with him once again; the man he considered both a traitor to SOLDIER - and a friend.
The next morning, Cloud was actually awake before the alarm sounded; and before Zack. He was bristling with nervous anticipation over this mission - a return to his hometown. He'd been worrying about running into certain people there he'd grown up with. Namely, a few bullies who had given him trouble all along for being the smallest kid in class; but most of all, he feared facing his childhood friend. The proverbial 'girl next door' - one Tifa Lockhart.
She was the prettiest girl in all of Nibelheim, and there had been a time when Cloud had dreamed of winning her heart. Even as Cloud grew older, and he realized his attentions were more on boys than girls, there was something about Tifa. He wanted to impress her, especially after he'd been blamed for her ankle injury when the two had been foolishly hiking over the tattered rope bridge to Mount Nibel.
My mother had warned me not to go there alone, but I never listened, Cloud thought ruefully as he got himself showered and ready for the day. I was so cocky and sure of myself. And it probably was my fault Tifa got hurt in the first place.
"There's a Mako fountain out there, inside the caves," Twelve-year-old Cloud had told Tifa, knowing her curiosity would get the best of her and she'd want to see it for herself.
"Really? You have to take me there, Cloud! I want to see it!" Tifa had replied eagerly. "Let me get my hat!"
Things had gone well until the return journey, back over the old rope bridge that creaked and groaned, even under the relatively light weight of two pre-teens. "Cloud - !"
The rope had snapped, and although Cloud did grab Tifa's hand, pulling her to safety, her body had been dashed against the rock face of the mountain, shattering her right ankle where it had made contact with hard granite.
"Oh shit...Tifa, I'm so sorry," Cloud had apologized. "Damn it! This is all my fault."
"It's - okay," Tifa was in great pain, it was written all over her face, but she refused to cry; something that impressed Cloud greatly. She's braver than I am, he'd thought.
Cloud helped Tifa limp back to town, where he'd been admonished by her angry father. He was not allowed to see Tifa again, not for many months, until her injury had healed.
"I'll make it all up to you," Cloud had vowed, on his last night there. "I'll train hard, and I'll become SOLDIER, Tifa. You'll see." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Cloud felt foolish. He didn't know why he was trying to impress her anyway; it was not as if he was interested in her in that way in the first place.
Cloud snapped out of his reverie at the sudden appearance of Zack in the bathroom. "One Gil for your thoughts," Zack murmured, coming up behind Cloud and draping his arms about the cadet's shoulders as he squinted into the bathroom mirror, finger-fluffing his unruly blond spikes. Cloud's face broke in a smile the moment Zack's arms wrapped around him.
"Hey, I was just about to wake you up," Cloud spun around to face Zack, giving him a kiss. "I was up early, I couldn't sleep. Kind of nervous."
"Nervous about the mission, or about me meeting your mom?" Zack asked, grinning.
"A little bit of both," Cloud admitted with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "And...there's a few people back home I'm not sure I want to see. Mostly…I don't want to be seen by them."
"What people? Bullies, you mean?" Zack pressed on.
"Some of them, yeah," Cloud replied. "I just have mixed feelings about going back to Nibelheim. It was hell growing up there. And I don't want anyone knowing I didn't get into SOLDIER."
"Not yet, but maybe someday you will," Zack argued. "Okay…I've gotta hurry up, Cloud. Seems I overslept," he added with a wink. "And don't worry about Nibelheim, Cloud. It'll be fine…and I bet you'll be glad to see your mom, anyway."
"Yeah," Cloud agreed. "At least there's that…I'll get to see mom."
Hours later, Cloud would be quite dismayed to learn that the Turks would only be bringing them as far as Corel in the helicopter, and they would be driving the rest of the way to Nibelheim in a hired truck. Cloud groaned, feeling the bile rising in his stomach already. He'd gotten used to riding in the helicopter, but bouncing along the bumpy open road in an old truck with lousy suspension - Cloud could feel his stomach churning rapidly with each pothole they hit.
Cloud closed his eyes as he sat in the back and listened to the humming of the engine as they bounced along in the truck, chewing the ginger gum Zack had given him to stave off his nausea. The cadet's motion sickness was getting better, but he still did not have it fully conquered. Though Zack did his best to assure him that he'd seen a lot of recruits with this issue, it didn't ease Cloud's mind all that much. He felt that Sephiroth and the others viewed him as weak- and not good enough for SOLDIER, just as Hojo had proclaimed so many months prior after Cloud's poor reaction to Mako treatment. The smell of Mako was high in the area, another factor that was setting off Cloud's nausea. It was a sure sign of Mako concentration in the land; not a complete surprise, as there was a reactor built into the side of Mt. Nibel.
"We're almost there, Cloud," Zack whispered. "Hang in there." He turned to Quinn, who seemed bored, staring at her fingernails. "Hey, Quinn!" Zack called, grinning. "Stay sharp."
"Yes, sir!" Quinn replied with a salute. She pulled her helmet down over her head, concealing her chin-length blue-black hair as best as she could, tucking the ends underneath. The cadet wondered how she would be perceived in Nibelheim, a female recruit. She'd heard that Nibelheim was rather antediluvian in its ways, and not exactly a hotbed of feminism. "I'm ready for whatever Nibelheim has to throw at us. Cloud...aren't you from there, by the way?" Quinn asked, turning to the rather green-looking cadet.
"I am," Cloud said, chewing the gum with increased ferocity as the truck jolted, bumping over a large divot in the unpaved road. He felt his stomach fly upward, and it was a very unpleasant feeling indeed. "I haven't been home since the beginning of term. I'm hoping I can visit with my mother while we're there."
Sephiroth had barely been paying attention to the conversations going on around him, but that comment of Cloud's - he'd heard that, and it made him take notice. The general turned from where he'd been sitting quietly opposite Cloud and Zack, and studied the blond curiously, turning inward with his own thoughts. What must it be like, to have a hometown like that to come back to... to have roots? It was a question that made Sephiroth stop and ponder his own history – or lack thereof, really.
All Sephiroth knew of his own background was contained on official-looking documents filed in an official-looking folder, all tucked away in the library of Shinra Headquarters and guarded by Mayor Domino. Official documents that spelled out who Sephiroth was in just a few simple lines; an orphan whose mother had died giving birth, and no father was named or listed on any of those old documents. When Sephiroth had asked Hojo about it, the reply was an indifferent shrug of the shoulders.
As Sephiroth grew older, he'd assumed that his father - whoever he was - had abandoned his mother after learning of her pregnancy, shirking his parental responsibilities. It was a common enough scenario below the plate in Midgar, particularly in those years leading up to the war in Wutai, when Shinra had been engaged in minor skirmishes on the island nation. Many a SOLDIER came home on shore leave to find comfort in the arms of someone willing, not even thinking about any consequences of the result of a brief affair. They'd called it the first wave of the 'Wutaian baby boom,' and Sephiroth naturally inferred that he was merely the unintended offspring of such a coupling. It was not a thing he cared to dwell much upon, choosing instead to focus upon becoming the very best SOLDIER in the world – just as Hojo and ShinRa, Inc., had groomed him to be.
"We'll head to Mount Nibel early tomorrow morning. I've procured a reservation for us at the inn; remember, three to a room," Sephiroth reminded his troops as they traversed the cobblestone streets toward the inn; he gestured toward the water tower in the center of the town common.
"Fan out, and I want patrols to sweep the area," Sephiroth directed the cadets. "Ensure that the perimeter is secure, while I inquire about our rooms. After you're done, you may visit your families, those of you who have relatives in this town," the general concluded, with a rather pointed glance toward Cloud. "Meet me back at the inn by ten this evening."
"Understood!" Zack replied with a cheery salute. He turned to Cloud and Quinn, and pointed out the areas he wanted them to monitor. Sephiroth stood stock-still, simply sniffing the air.
"Something wrong?" Zack questioned, cocking his head to the side. Sephiroth had been oddly quiet - not that the man was a chatterbox like himself, but even so, Zack thought it odd how quiet and pensive Sephiroth seemed.
"The smell of Mako is very strong in this town," Sephiroth murmured. "Curious. I suppose it stands to reason, given that there is a reactor built into the mountainside. I did not expect the scent to travel down this far, however."
Zack gave the air a sniff as well, and then shrugged his shoulders. "It is strong," he admitted. "Maybe it's just because of the cross-winds, that we can smell it all the way down here on the common?"
"That is a possibility," Sephiroth agreed. "I am going to my room now," he added abruptly, turning to leave. His head felt heavy, and he felt distracted. It was an unpleasant sensation for one so used to being in complete control all of the time as Sephiroth normally was.
"Okay..." Zack said, giving the general a final salute and a wave. "We'll check back in later."
Cloud pulled down the visor of his helmet and rounded the corner of the general store after Sephiroth dismissed them – and walked right into someone heading in the opposite direction.
"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Cloud flinched at the sharp voice, and then did a double-take when he realized who was underneath the rakishly placed cowboy hat. He opened his mouth to speak but found he could not.
Tifa. Tifa Lockhart. If Cloud hadn't been utterly shocked into silence, he might have laughed at the outraged expression on Tifa's face. Instead, he found himself unable to utter a single word; the one person he'd been trying so hard to avoid, he'd run right into her. She'd nearly died because of him, and now the introverted cadet found himself unable to form speech.
"Oh…you're from Shinra, huh?" Tifa said, reddening. "I'm sorry. You're not – no, couldn't be…Cloud, is that you?"
Cloud froze, and without even thinking, shook his head no. Shit...why have I always been so worried about what she thinks? About what everyone in this town thinks?
"Oh, I see," Tifa shrugged her shoulders. "I thought you might be him. Well…I have to go, or I'll be late for my martial arts lesson. Nice to meet you, mystery man!" She called over her shoulder as she hurried on by. "If you know someone named Cloud, tell him Tifa said hello!" And just like that…she was gone, leaving Cloud standing there and feeling like a fool.
"Yeah," Cloud muttered, mentally kicking himself for not speaking up. Too late now. "I'll be sure to tell him." He trudged on back toward the center of town, wanting to hide from the world. There was just something about Nibelheim that seemed to pull the wind out of his sails; running into Tifa so suddenly brought up all those old feelings of insecurity and rejection that he'd been trying to forget. None of it was something Cloud wanted to relive.
Zack paced around, waiting for the others to return when he saw two troopers of them he instantly recognized as Quinn – her chin length, blue-black hair was a dead giveaway. "Hey, Quinn, how'd it go? And who's that with you?" Zack inquired. "Weingarten? Is that you? Wonder where Cloud is - "
"It's me, Zack," Cloud replied in an irritated-sounding mutter. "I'm done with my patrol, everything looks good. Can we just go to my mom's now?"
"Come on, handsome, take the helmet off," Zack teased, reaching a hand up toward the cadet's face. Cloud rudely swatted his hand away.
"No," Cloud snapped and then sighed, shoulders drooping slightly. "I'm sorry. Look...let's just get on to my mom's house. I saw someone I didn't want to see, so that's why I kept my helmet on." Tifa...I'm not ready to talk to her. Not today. Maybe...maybe tomorrow.
"All right," Zack replied, raising an eyebrow. "Quinn...we'll see you later, then?"
Quinn was about to answer when Cloud suddenly piped up. "Actually...I invited Quinn to come for dinner also. The other guys just went to the pub, and left Quinn by herself - "
"It's okay, guys," Quinn said graciously. "I can get a meal at the Inn, it's fine. I know you probably want some time alone- "
"Quinn, it's totally okay," Zack said quickly, a broad smile lighting his tanned face. "It's fine with me too."
"It's this way," Cloud said abruptly, turning and heading toward a small stucco house that was on the corner, diagonally opposite from the Inn. He waved for Zack to hurry along, not wanting Tifa to spot him. "Zack, come on!" he urged impatiently. "I just want to get inside."
"Geez...fine, Cloud!" Zack retorted, shaking his head. What the hell is wrong with him? Cloud quickly took the helmet off before knocking on the door, waving Zack along.
"Come on, get closer," Cloud hissed."I don't want to be seen."
"Cloud – you're acting really weird,"Zack muttered. He 'd known that Cloud had some hang-ups and apprehensions about Nibelheim, but he hadn't thought it'd be this bad. How Zack wished Cloud could see himself the way he saw him: a sensitive, caring young man with a great deal of untapped potential. "Just relax, time for me to meet your mom!" Zack clapped a hand on Cloud's shoulder and gave him a warm smile, one that Cloud couldn't help but return.
"Sorry I've been an ass," Cloud whispered, the adrenaline rush and nerves returning when the door opened. "Mom! Hi...just thought I'd drop by while we're in town," he added sheepishly. His mother, a petite blonde, was wiping her hands on her apron, a look of complete surprise on her face.
"Cloud! What a surprise! I wish you'd called me, you haven't called home once since you left home!" the woman exclaimed, drawing her son into a hug. She looked over Cloud's shoulder expectantly as she saw Zack standing there on the stoop. "And who's this, you've brought a friend?"
"Yeah," Cloud said softly, blushing. "This is my – uh… this is Zack," he stammered. "Can we come in?"
"Of course! Don't just stand out there like two wayward chocobos," Cloud's mother replied, smiling as she ushered them inside. "Reyja Strife," she told Zack, extending her tiny hand to shake his own.
"Zack Fair. It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am."
"Don't call me ma'am," Reyja said firmly. "Makes me feel old. Come in, come in! So, how long are you boys in town for? I have some stew on the stove..."
"I knew you would, mom," Cloud said, carefully wiping his boots on the mat. He placed his helmet on a low table in the entryway and awkwardly pulled Zack along behind him. "Is it okay if Zack joins us for dinner?" he asked.
Reyja turned from where she was puttering over the stove, stirring the hearty stew, and snorted. "Of course he can! I would love the company. Have you seen Tifa yet?" she asked idly, rummaging in the cabinet for spices to add to the sausage and potato stew.
"Ah...yes and no," Cloud said quickly. Reyja turned around and looked at him quizzically, shaking her head.
"Still shy around her, hm?" Reyja asked. "So, Cloud...how is life in Midgar? Have you found a girlfriend yet?"
Zack began laughing, then quickly covered, pretending he was coughing as he caught Cloud openly glaring at him.
"Mom...about that," Cloud began hesitantly, looking to Zack for help. The SOLIDER reached across the table for Cloud's hand, gently grasping it. "Mom...Zack and I...well, we're together." Cloud let out a huge breath that he hadn't even realized he'd been holding in. "We've been dating for a while now."
"Oh?" Reyja glanced over her shoulder and smiled, nodding. The little blonde woman turned down the heat on the stove, then plopped herself down in a kitchen chair right next to Zack.
"Well, you certainly picked a handsome boyfriend," Reyja said, winking at Zack, who grinned back at her.
"You're not mad?" Cloud said, carefully studying his mother's face for any signs of disapproval, the one thing he feared above all. As much as he didn't want to admit to his childhood friend that he hadn't attained his dream of becoming SOLDIER; an even worse fate for Cloud, as far as he was concerned, would be to have his mother disappointed in him.
"Mad about what?" Reyja replied, puzzled. She put an arm around her son's shoulders, hugging him. "Cloud...a mother knows. Honestly, all those times you were flirting with Tifa, it confused me. You never seemed happy around her, just...nervous. Always trying to impress her, and coming home from her house so terribly sad."
"I promised her I'd work hard and make it into SOLDIER," Cloud said quietly. "And I haven't made it yet. It might not even happen, Professor Hojo said - "
"Professor Hojo is an idiot," Zack cut in. "Uh, sorry...Reyja. That was rude of me ."
"Oh, you can speak freely here," Reyja said cheerfully. "And I don't know this Professor of yours, but if he said anything bad about my Cloud, then I'm not too impressed with him either."
"No, and honestly….Cloud has a lot of talent. He's an excellent swordsman," Zack began gushing, despite Cloud giving him a warning look. "He's very modest about his skills, though. But I keep telling him he has wonderful potential."
"And you are part of SOLDIER, yes, Zack?" Reyja asked him. "I can tell by the uniform. What Class?"
"First Class, ma'am," Zack replied, nodding. His face grew mortified as his stomach grumbled loudly, and Reyja laughed.
"Well, sounds like you're hungry, Zack! That's as good a sign as any that I should stop talking, and feed you two," Reyja said, moving over to the stove to dish out the steaming hot stew.
"So...tell me about the academy, and how the two of you met!" Reyja said brightly as she returned with the bowls of stew. Cloud and Zack exchanged a look as the cadet began to mentally categorize those topics he wouldn't be sharing with his mother.
While the others were out, Sephiroth basked in the relative silence of his rented room at the Inn, but the thoughts racing through his head produced a cacophony that only he could hear, and it was a blessing that it was so. Something was calling him, he didn't know who – or what – but something up in that mountain was drawing him. He was sorely tempted to just go up there himself, ahead of the group – and a day earlier than planned, but the logical side of Sephiroth told him to stand firm, and wait. Wait, and ignore the calling – this odd summoning, whatever it was. Sephiroth always felt himself to be an autonomous and rational being; one who didn't react so violently to stimuli or emotion as the ever-expressive Genesis had. The general just knew, though – there was something up there on that mountain, beyond the barren spires of rock – something in the mountain, that was meant for him to see
It was going to be a long night waiting for the others to return, and then awaiting the dawn. Sephiroth knew that sleep, even if it came, would not be a restful one. His mind was too full of doubts and questions, and no matter how hard he tried to quiet those idle thoughts that dwelled within, he found that he could not.
Author's Note: Whewww, we're finally in Nibelheim! This chapter was sort of a transitional one, to get the plot moving from Point A to Point B. There will be plenty more action in the next chapter though, so fear not if this chapter seemed a little dry to you. We'll get to the meat of things soon enough. Also, Quinn will be seen more in the next chapter as well.
Thanks once again to my lovely loyal readers, who have followed this little story for the past several years. Seems hard to believe that we're in the home stretch now, but we are! I've already got the last chapter written already, and I can tell you it's going to be a tearjerker (as you might expect).
Comments and feedback is lovely and always welcomed! Thanks so much again for everyone's support!