Chapter 21: Recovered and Lost

Samantha ran blindly through the halls, hot tears streaming down her cheeks and getting caught in locks of her honey-blonde hair.

She could feel the pounding of her broken heart in her head. It seemed that her body was focusing on pumping all blood to her face and cheeks because she felt them burning like fire.

Any coherent thought that even passed through her mind was immediately shut out by the embarrassment, sadness, and betrayal that she was feeling. She was outside of the Hospital Wing when she tripped and fell onto her knees. Unable to muster any sort of strength she collapsed there, wracking sobs taking her over.

People thought she was strong; Samantha Brown, the independent, beautiful, forceful girl to be reckoned with. That was why everyone thought she was such a perfect match for Sirius Black. It seemed she was the only girl in the school who had the attitude and temperament (not to mention beauty) to rival and compete with the most dashing and out-of-control Marauder.

But she wasn't. The truth was that she was weak. At that moment more than ever, she was just a feeble body in the rough world. Her heart had always been fragile. That was why she never held on to any relationship for too long; become too attached could only mean pain.

But then she had met Sirius…

He had seemed so different, so… special. It was as if the day she had kissed him for the first time she was pushed and spun around in an endless whirlwind of frenzied happiness. Everyday there was confusion, but that was how she liked it. And that was what made her different from Lily and Jill.

She enjoyed never knowing what Sirius would do next because he was so unpredictable. She thrived off of the feelings her stirred within her, the love that had been awoken.

Little did she know that it was all a misleading quest that ended nowhere.

Sirius had taken her, loved her, and then threw her out like a used tissue. Why didn't she see his disloyalty? Of course she had suspicions when it all started, but she had pushed them aside because of how wonderful he had made her feel.

But now it was all gone.

"What in the world is going on–" Jill poked her head out of the heavy arched doorway. But one glance at her crushed friend on her knees made her gasp.

"Sam…" Jill stood next to her friend wide-eyed. First thing was first, though. Neither Lily nor James needed to know about this right now, so she grabbed Pooky off of his forsaken place on the cold floor and rushed him into thee hospital to Lily, who seemed to fall asleep as soon as he was in her arms.

Running back out the door and shutting it as softly as she could she turned to gaze upon Samantha, who was still sobbing uncontrollably.

Jill knelt down next to her and enveloped her in a hug only a best friend could give. She murmured soft nothings to her friend. "Shh… Shh… Everything's alright… Don't worry about it… Shh… It's alright… I'll make it better…"

Sam's sobs receded after an endless moment. And she just collapsed into her friend, moaning tragically into Jill's shoulder.

"Shh… Sam, what happened?" Jill asked comfortingly.

"Sirius, h-he – Shayla – Oh Jill! What am I going to do? He was all I had! Everything…" A small sob escaped her.

"It's okay, Sam. What did Sirius do?" Jill asked as she rubbed soft circled into Sam's back.

"Sirius was kissing Shayla in our dormitory." Jill's heart skipped an unnoticed beat. She was shocked.

"What do you mean? He was all you had?"

Sam took a few deep, shuddering breaths.

"We loved each other." Sam breathed out softly.

Jill shook her head in disbelief. Sirius would have done that in a million billion years. It was a simple fact. Even back all of those months ago, when she was posing as Sirius's girlfriend, she knew how deeply he cared fro Sam. Every time she passed, with every fleeting thought that held her in it, his eyes held a sort of sparkle of passion behind them.

"Sam, come on." Jill told her and helped a grief-stricken Sam off of the floor.

Sam followed Jill blindly through the halls. She didn't care where she was being led. At that moment, You-Know-Who could have stormed the castle and she would still have that pit feeling of indifference that seemed to be set within her.

She vaguely noted a large portrait of fruit and some bustling house-elves serving breakfast to the Hogwarts student body. Then all she could remember was a soft blanket and a warm drink trickling down her throat.

Jill watched as Sam sat before the fire. She looked completely miserable wrapped in a blanket, sipping a large mug of warm butterbeer. Her face was tear-stained and flushed and her normally confident posture was gone – replaced by slumped shoulders.

Sirius would never have done this – nor Shayla either. Plus, what in the name of Merlin had happened to Peter? Shayla had adored Peter, and Jill never thought of her as the type of person to cheat on anyone.

Jill would get to the bottom of this.

The portrait hole swung open and Jill stormed into the common room. She scanned the room for any sign of Sirius or Shayla, but it was empty. So, Jill jogged up the girls' staircase and halted outside of her dormitory. She gave the door a stern look and then placed three loud, firm knocks on the door.

Jill didn't wait for an answer, but briskly walked into the room.

Sirius slumped on a bed. His elbows were on his knees and his head was in his hands. Shayla sat next to him, rubbing his back in comfort.

"Alright, what did you do to Sam? I have never seen her cry so hard in my entire life – I've never seen anyone cry so hard in my entire life!" Jill put her hands on her hips and stared down the both of them.

"It was a mistake." Sirius told her softly.

Jill's eyebrows rose. "Right, and kissing is always a huge mistake. I would have never thought it of you Sirius – and Shayla. We trusted you! But Sirius, I have never been so shocked. You loved her. She loved you. You disappoint me."

"Don't," Sirius said through clenched teeth,"say that."

"C'est bon, mon ami. Un moment." Shayla stood up and walked over to Jill. "You vill sit and 'ear our story."

"I will do no such thing." Jill said.

"Sîl te plaît. Please." Shayla's violet and green eyes bore into Jill's brown ones. She was pleading.

Jill let out a small sigh and sat down on the bead opposite the one Sirius was sitting on. "Alright, explain."

"Okay, so here's what happened." Sirius jumped up and started pacing. He knew this was the only opportunity to explain once and for all.

"I turned into Padfoot to get up the girls' staircase and then I turned back to find the room." Sirius continued, "I heard Shay crying, so I went in and asked what was wrong. Apparently she and Peter broke up and I made her feel better. Then, she thanked me by kissing me on both cheeks, just like everyone does in France. Okay, so then… well, it was an accident, really – we kissed. But it didn't mean what it means when I kiss Sam. I swear to Merlin, it was an accident!"

Jill and Sirius started into each others eyes; Jill with scrutiny and Sirius with a pleading look.

"Okay," Jill said, "I believe you."

Both Shayla and Sirius let our huge sighs of relief.

"But why did Shayla and Peter break up?" Jill asked.

"I do not know myself. Peter, 'ee was keeping secrets from me. I thought that 'ee did not like me anymore." Shayla told her.

"Well, I'll have Remus and James knock some sense into Peter when James wakes up, but for now, you," she turned to Sirius, "need to talk to Sam."

"Oh, Sam…" Sirius said to himself.

He watched her as she lay in an oversized armchair before the crackling fire in the kitchens. Under the invisibility cloak he was unnoticed by the house elves, who at that point were serving lunch to students.

She was sleeping. She looked miserable even in her slumber, as if everyone in the world had left her alone. In a way, he supposed that was true; she had thought he was unfaithful to her. Giving a mental sigh, Sirius let the cloak drop into his hands. Swinging it over one arm, he timidly made his way over to her chair and knelt down next to it.

He took her hand in his, kissing her palm softly and whispering her name. She awoke with a start. At first she looked confused, as if she had no idea where she was, but then the confusion turned to crestfallenness.

Sam realized that someone was holding her hand and turned to her right. When she first saw Sirius, she looked shocked, but then she looked hurt, and finally she turned to the anger that Sirius had expected.

"What do you want?" she snapped. Se wrenched her hand away from his grasp and crossed them in front of her chest.

"Ten minutes," he said "to explain."

"Why?" she half-screamed, "Wouldn't you rather be with Shayla? Give me one reason why I should give you ten minutes, Sirius."

"See, that right there is why." He told her. He stood up and started pacing. "Shayla and I snogging? That was a mistake, and you got the wrong impression."

"In my opinion, kissing only leaves one impression, and that's the one I got." Sam said.

"But, you see… well, here's the thing–"

"Just leave me alone." Sam interrupted. "I was wallowing."

"Why are you so fixated on me cheating on you – which, you know, I wasn't – why?" he asked.

"Because," Sam started, "I don't know if I can trust you anymore."

Sirius looked at the floor. "Shayla and Peter broke up. I was making Shay feel better 'cause she was crying like crazy. She kissed me on both cheeks because that's a custom in France for saying thank you. The snogging was an entire accident. You walked in at the worst possible moment."

Sam stood up and stared Sirius straight in the eye. "Really?"

Not leaving her gaze, Sirius gave a firm nod. "Yes."

Sam's crystal blue eyes, which had moments before been firm and unwavering suddenly spilled over as she let out a single, quiet sob.

Sirius immediately enveloped Sam in a loving embrace. He didn't care as he held her tightly and her tears stained his shirt. All he cared about was that he had Sam back. That was all that mattered.

Jill looked at them from her discreet placement at the kitchen. She mulled over the funny thought that she acted alone as the first (and hopefully last) Team Sam/Sirius. She chuckled to herself and turned to leave, glancing one more time at the couple she had restored.

James Potter sat on the roof of the astronomy tower. He was watching as the rays of the noon sun played across the faces of various different Hogwarts students. He couldn't help but feel strangely distant from all of those people. They had parents. They had ordinary relationships. They didn't get their girlfriends kidnapped by some Death Eater working on Voldemort's orders.

It was strange.

A month ago James would have laughed at his parents dying. But now… Now it had happened.

His parents were always so strong. His father looked just like James – except for a moustache. He was the best defense caster the wizarding world had ever seen. And as for Mrs. Potter… she was an enigma. She was so beautiful and proud. She was always there to help James with anything at all – when she wasn't defending the world alongside her husband, of course.

And they were gone forever – lives taken by none other than Lord Voldemort. James's jaw clenched just thinking about that evil man. No – he wasn't even a man. He was a monster. Voldemort had taken away everything he had held dear. His family and the sense of security that he thought was there while he was at Hogwarts.

There was a spy at the school – there had to be. Who else would have known and been there to kidnap Lily. Lily being kidnapped was a laughing matter a month ago. But that was the problem – it was a month ago. James rested his head on his knees.

Lily.

It was all his fault that she was sleeping in the Hospital Wing instead of out dancing in the sunshine with everyone else. Voldemort was after the entire Potter line. James's parents were first and now he had used Lily to get to James. Lily had been kidnapped just because James's last name was Potter.

It was crushing him.

It was all his fault.

8

A/N: Hey readers! Sorry it took so long, but there's this thing called school, and it's been hectic at the least. Not to mention weekend Marching Band competitions for one half of this duo (the Kiki half). Anyway, the chapter is here at last, rejoice in it.

Emily: Kiki! Why did you write James like that - he's emo! If you want to make him emo, make him cut himself!

Kiki: James Potter does not cut himself, Emily!

Emily: Well he should, the way he's written...

Kiki: Deal with it.

LOL. Ok guys, James does seem kinda emo, I have to say. What do you think of how his emotions are written into the story?

Review - I'm begging :'(