Summary: Sam was a boringly regular guy. Best friend and sometime step-brother, Dean, was something different. When a hunter comes along, they hit the road. It turns out to be a long journey. AU Sam/Dean unrel slash, full SPN cast no OCs. Warnings: suicide dub-con mpreg.

The Monster's Child (Chapter 21: One Snowy Night) by frostygossamer

It was a damn cold night, colder than it had been all month. The weather forecast warned of drifts and white-outs. Sam woke about one o'clock and had a real eerie feeling that he was all alone in their rented house. He checked Dean's room. No Dean. He pulled on some jeans and a sweater and checked outside. Footprints led from the door out into the yard and then disappeared under the growing snowdrift.

"Hell," Sam muttered. "Thought Dean'd been too good. Why the hell pick a night like this to decide to run out on me?"

He grabbed his boots and put them on, struggled into his big winter coat and strode out into the strangely luminous moonlit snow. After a desperate half hour he realised he was getting nowhere, so he made his way to the neighbours' house and knocked them awake. The husband appeared at the door in his pajamas and overcoat looking half asleep.

"My step-brother's gotten himself lost in the snow," Sam shouted over the blizzard. "He sleep walks, d'ya see. I'm kinda afraid... in this weather..."

Concern filled the neighbour's face. "Oh Hell! Night like this is no time to be wandering," he agreed. "You want help looking for him?"

The neighbour called his wife and two grown sons, and all five of them were soon scouring the area for signs of Dean. After what seemed like an eternity too long, one of the boys gave a yell.

"Found him!" he shouted. "He's in the old barn."

Sam ran toward the sound of his voice.

The old barn was a flimsy, ramshackle construction, barely standing and offering no shelter against the weather. Dean was curled up against the back wall, dressed only in his sleep clothes, unresponsive. When Sam touched him there was no reaction, and his skin was cold as ice.

"Oh Dean," Sam whispered. "This isn't fair on me, you know? You're gonna break my heart like this."

They carried the apparently unconscious Dean back in Sam's house and laid him on the couch in front of the fireplace. Sam's neighbour quickly got the fire restarted, while his wife made everyone hot chocolate. Sam crouched beside the couch rubbing Dean's hand the way he'd seen someone do in a movie. It seemed kind of pointless but he didn't know what else to do.

One of the sons came back in the room with a bunch of blankets he'd grabbed from a bedroom.

"You wanna get him outta those wet things and into these," he told Sam.

Sam did as he was told. Dean was only in his shorts and a T-shirt, and they were wet through.

They all sat round a while drinking their chocolate, until Dean began to twitch and moan. Sam poured a hot drink and lifted Dean's head so he could take a little.

"Here," he said. "Have a sip of this. It'll warm you up some."

Dean was still disoriented. "Still here, huh?" he asked wryly.

"Yup," Sam replied. "Time you realized. You're stuck here until I say so, bro."

Sam wiped a dribble of chocolate from the corner of Dean's mouth with an affectionate thumb. The neighbour coughed awkwardly and glanced at his wife.

"Guess we should get on back," he said. "It's kinda late."

Sam nodded and murmured his thanks, and they all let themselves out and went home.

"That's it, buddy," Sam mock-reproved. "Now you're shaming me in front of the neighbours."

"Jerk-ass," Dean retorted.

Sam sat and looked at his step-brother gravely for a few moments. He knew what was on Dean's mind.

"It wasn't your fault, Dean," he said. "HE came after YOU."

"He was my father," Dean murmured.

Sam shook his head. "No, Dean. John was your father. John loved you, dude. And Montgomery too. He wanted you. Mom totally doted on you. Kubrick wasn't crap to you. All he ever felt was hate. Don't sweat it, bro. That guy was the monster, not you."

Dean didn't look like he took much comfort from that, just the same. Sam put another log on the fire, then paused thoughtfully.

"Gonna make you a promise," he said grimly. "If it ever looks like you'd be better off dead, I will take you out. Just let it be MY call. Need you to swear you won't ever try anything stupid again. Not ever. This has gotta be the LAST time."

"Can't do that, Sam," Dean protested, staring sadly at his chocolate.

Sam grabbed his friend's chin and forced him to look in his eyes.

"Trust me," Sam pleaded. "We can't go on this way, Dean. You mean way too much to me, man. It's your choice, but you gotta let ME be the method."

Dean sighed. "Sure," he agreed wearily. "Trust you, Sam. Guess I swear."

Sam smiled and enveloped him in a rough hug.

"Won't let you down, Dean. You have my word," he said. "C'mon let's get some shut-eye."

-~=O=~-

Sam woke again about dawn and knew something was wrong. He got out of bed and walked in Dean's room, where he found Dean curled up tight into himself in the middle of his bed, trembling. Sam had never seen anything more wretched in his life. He walked up to his friend and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"It's OK, Dean," he whispered. "I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you. No way."

Sam wasn't even sure Dean could comprehend his words when he was in this state, not knowing if he was talking to his darkside or dayside, but saying them seemed to be the right thing to do.

A single, strangled sob escaped his step-brother's lips and Sam's heart clenched. He stretched his arms around Dean's shoulders and pulled him tight against his chest.

"It's gonna be fine," he whispered, stroking Dean's hair.

They stayed like that for ten minutes or so, Dean with his face pressed against Sam's neck, and Sam could feel the wetness of his tears dampening his skin.

"We're gonna be fine, Dean," he assured him gently. "You and me. That's how it's meant to be, man."

"I'm just some gross thing" Dean gasped suddenly, brokenly. "A goddamn parasite."

"Oh, Dean," Sam replied softly. "We're not talking Ripley and the alien here. You give me as much as I give you, man. They call that symbiosis. It's a good thing."

He stayed until Dean drifted off to sleep and then went back to his own bed.

-~=O=~-

It was almost noon when Sam finally stirred for the third time and found a strange weight pressing against his side. He opened his eyes to see Dean curled up against him tightly. His friend's chest rose and fell in regular respiration. He was sleeping peacefully.

This had never happened before. Sam had experienced night-time encounters with Dean's dark side, but Dean had always crawled away to a corner to hibernate as soon as it was over. He had never before crawled in his bed in his nightwear just to sleep. Sam had never woken up with Dean by his side like this. This was new.

Dean stirred vaguely and pressed his face into Sam's neck, growling softly against his skin. Sam reached up and hesitantly began to stroke his companion's hair. It felt good, this closeness, this sense that Dean was now beginning to trust him in his instinctual state. It seemed to indicate that he was settling into their relationship, knowing intuitively that Sam would be his partner, his mate.

Sam breathed a little sigh. Finally they had found some peace. He kissed Dean on the top of his head. Dean purred quietly, making Sam smile.

"Morning, Dean," he whispered.

Dean lifted his head and regarded Sam with sleepy eyes.

"Not where I went to sleep," he remarked.

"Sure it is, Dean," Sam replied.

Dean looked bewildered for a second then relaxed, turning over away from Sam, but staying close enough that they still touched.

"Guess I'm OK if you are, Sammy," he murmured as he drifted off again.

Sam chuckled and answered, "You're welcome."

TBC

A/N: Bit of a soppy interlude this time. But it's not over yet!