Willing

Chapter 21

Plans and learning and confrontations

"I only want to see him once," Harry said. His eyes were slightly glazed as he stared straight ahead, as if he could see through the bedroom door and straight into their bedroom. There was so much he wanted to say to Dumbledore, so many words ... words that his Dom definitely wouldn't approve of. The best part, though, was that his Dom wouldn't say anything about it if he did. His Dom let him say whatever he liked, as long as it wasn't directed at him or anyone he respected. From what he could gather, there weren't many people whom he respected.

"Harry?" Severus asked, shaking him slightly to try to bring him out of whatever daydream he'd ended up in.

"Just before he's arrested, I want him to see me, to know I'd been here all along," Harry explained.

"He already does, he has every single teacher out there looking for you," Minerva said, still staring at Harry in apparent concern. What had made him space out like that for five minutes? Severus was also concerned, so it was obvious this didn't happen often or possibly at all.

"It's not as if he will find me," Harry grinned wryly. He was safest here; of all places, Dumbledore would never suspect him to be here. Everyone thought his Dom would hate him; god, he was glad he'd changed when he did. So Severus got to know him, the real him. Not James Potter, or how he imagined him to be; he couldn't imagine his life without Severus. He certainly wouldn't be here, that was for sure.

"Yes, that's true," Minerva agreed. Severus' known hatred for James Potter had finally been of some use. "Do you have any belongings out there, Harry? Things you'd like brought to you? Has anyone even asked about before Dumbledore swiped you off the streets?"

Severus didn't outwardly react, but he felt bad for not asking Harry before this. He'd been too busy healing him, and then deciding on how to punish him. One could argue it hadn't been a punishment, but Harry certainly had screamed at one point.

"I didn't have much, just some clothes and weapons hidden away," Harry said. "Now some other lucky fucker is going to find them."

"Language!" Severus chided, unable to completely hide his amusement. "If you would like to go and retrieve them, we can."

"You're going to let me carry knives around?" Harry asked, grinning sadistically; he already imagined using them on someone… one wizard named Black in particular. Just as he'd wanted to all those days ago; how he hated that man.

"Perhaps not," Severus mused, eyeing him warily, able to feel his emotions. Reading his surface thoughts were… amusing, to say the least. Harry truly hated Black with every iota of his being. It shouldn't amuse him really, but Black had brought it on himself. He was supposed to be Harry's godfather, yet he'd imprisoned him, kept him here at Hogwarts against his will. He should have protected him, taken him away and in doing so... he would have been the one Harry trusted. He was even less fond of Lupin for some reason, despite the fact that, in the end, he helped. Lupin had seen Harry more than Black had, though. It was too bad Tonks was part of it; Harry would never trust her, and it would have been handy having a real Metamorphmagus train Harry in his ability. It would take him forever to find someone; Harry's learning would just have to come from a book. He seemed to have some control over the ability, which was something at least.

"I completely agree," Minerva concurred, her lips twitching. They looked so comfortable together; she couldn't help but wonder what he'd looked like while he was in a different form. "What did Harry look like a few years ago? When you first started your relationship?"

"Actually rather similar; his hair was longer, a little darker. It's his eyes that he changed the most; they turned a clear ocean blue colour. Almost as mesmerising as his natural green ones," Severus told her. "He was of course taller, more filled out; he'd done his homework. For an untrained Metamorphmagus he did very well."

Harry grinned, his green eyes flashing with pride at his accomplishments.

"With the right motivation, you can accomplish anything you put your mind to," Minerva said, a rare smile on her face― it was nice to see Harry looking happy. It seemed so odd; it took someone as anti-social as Severus to accomplish it. The boy seemed to thrive off the praise, as if he couldn't live without it. Perhaps in a way he couldn't; that was why he'd become a submissive. He needed approval as much as he needed air, and in a normal relationship you're taken for granted. Being the Sub in a relationship, you were always told when you'd pleased your Dom.

"I don't think he believes that just yet, but he will," Severus solemnly declared. His hand automatically carding though Harry's long silky hair when he laid himself comfortably on his lap again, evidently finished with the conversation. Severus knew better, Harry was listening to everything and would continue to do so. Unless of course he fell asleep, but he shouldn't. He was getting used to sleeping at night again, after nearly three weeks of hardly any sleep, and only napping in the afternoon.

"So what are you planning? For Harry to reveal himself just before the Aurors come? What if he tries anything?" Minerva asked in concern, getting back to the original topic. "What are we going to do about the Order, Severus? They will panic." It wasn't a question; it was guaranteed that the Order would panic, probably more than the public. Everyone in the Order was very close to Dumbledore. They all trusted him with their lives; they did everything he asked without question. Apparently even to keeping Harry locked up in Hogwarts against his will.

"We still have a few days to go over the final details," Severus said, "By the time Amelia gets back in touch, we will have a definitive plan."

"Understood," Minerva said. "I think someone's asleep."

"Oh, he'd good at that," Severus smirked, "Sneaky as well; he is not asleep."

Harry proved his statement by smothering his laughter into Severus' leg.

"There's no doubt where Harry would be placed," Minerva said, snorting in amusement. It was strange, she'd never had this kind of relationship with Severus. All he ever showed her was his severe side, unless he'd had too much to drink, which admittedly wasn't often. Yet here he was, more open than ever, not just when he spoke but with his emotions too.

"Indeed," Severus smirked. There had been little doubt in his mind; someone living on the streets wouldn't survive with Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Gryffindor traits. Well, maybe one Gryffindor trait: bloody sheer stubbornness. However, the struggle to survive, and the things one had to do; going to all lengths to do it and succeed; making a better life for themselves, and never trusting another soul were Slytherin traits. Hufflepuffs wouldn't last; they'd trust someone and it would be the end of them.

"These things by right belong to you, Harry," Minerva said, handing over the books from her bag. "They might be a bit advanced for you right now, but you'll understand them in time."

"Thanks," Harry said taking them. He didn't regard books in the same manner as he had just a few days ago. That wasn't to say he wasn't embarrassed anymore, he was, very much so, but it wasn't as if he'd been able to read while out on the streets. At the age of nine, the streets had been the only alternative to staying at Privet Drive. He was beginning to recognise some words, before they were said by the spell. Plus every night he was writing them down as well; he felt like such a baby sometimes, but the effort would be worth it. He was just glad nobody else knew, it would have made everything ten times worse.

"This will be used with caution and with my knowledge; Dumbledore and Moody can both see through it. So no funny business; I mean it, Harry. I'd hate to have to rescue you again," Severus warned sternly as he handed over Harry's invisibility cloak. The urge to confiscate it was strong; Harry was so new to this world, and he probably would be tempted to use it. He would just have to trust Harry that he wouldn't go against his wishes.

"Again? You make it sound like my doing!" Harry cried in outrage; he hadn't asked Dumbledore to take him to Hogwarts. He hadn't asked his own bloody Godfather to be a weak arsehole, who wanted to obey orders more than wanting to rescue him. His supposedly beloved Godson, what a lot of rubbish.

"I did not say that," Severus said, glaring at Harry in warning. There were a few things he wouldn't allow to be argued about. Harry's safety was one of them; he'd use his position as 'Dom' to Harry to ensure it. Right now his eyes were telling Harry not to argue, that he wasn't to be trifled with on this point.

"Sorry, sir," Harry said quietly. He should have known better than to fight him, especially on this point. He was zealous when it came to protecting him, stopping him from coming to harm, even back before he knew he was Harry. It was his right, his duty, after all; it was all part of the Dom and Sub relationship. He'd have it no other way; he wanted what Severus offered.

There was a tense silence for a few seconds before a knock on the door brought them out of it. The three of them immediately stiffened, on instinct Harry got up, grabbed the cloak and disappeared into his Dom's room, still inwardly cursing himself for being an idiot. He kept near the door, curious about who'd be coming here. Minerva was usually the only person that came down. Then he heard it; a sneer painted itself across his lips. Of all the people in Hogwarts, it had to be him. He was content to just stay in here, thank you very much.

"What are you doing here?" Severus demanded, slamming the door closed; he couldn't get a minute to himself these days it seemed. The quicker this war was over the better in his opinion, maybe then he'd get some rest. Minerva he could tolerate, but the wolf he could not. He was honestly surprised; Minerva had been closest to Dumbledore, of all people. Been with him the longest; she'd been but a child, from the age of eleven being taught by him, then returning right after she'd gained her Transfiguration Mastery. She'd never left since, so one could say she'd been with him almost her entire life. She had been loyal, completely loyal, never once questioning him until… sixteen years ago. She had believed the Dursleys unacceptable to be bringing up the Potters' child. Apparently Dumbledore had other plans. They should have listened to her, and Harry wouldn't have been abused.

"I told you I'd be back," Remus said warily. "Professor McGonagall," he nodded respectfully at her. Did she know? It seemed impossible; after all, she adored the ground Dumbledore walked on. Any fool could see that; it was little wonder they'd worked together longer than he'd been alive.

"Remus, what are you doing here?" Minerva asked, clearly astonished at the young man's arrival. The rug seemed to be permanently being pulled from under her feet. First Severus helping Harry, now Remus seems to be helping them both. If not, then she had best keep quiet.

"I just need a word with Snape," Remus said vaguely.

"She knows, now what do you want?" Severus asked in exasperation, sitting down and rubbing his temples in unconcealed irritation.

"I was hoping to see Harry," Remus said.

Minerva stared between both men, wondering if Remus knew the full truth. She couldn't see him accepting it, but lately she'd been constantly surprised. She vowed never to take anything for granted anymore. Maybe then she could soldier on and one day figure out the world.

"The fact that Harry doesn't want to see you just doesn't sink in, does it?" Severus replied, staring at Remus impassively.

"I just need to see him," Remus repeated quietly, pain flaring in his amber eyes.

"The other times not painful enough? I didn't peg you for a masochist, Lupin," Severus said smirking wryly.

Minerva started coughing her eyes budging wildly, unable to believe what Severus had just said. The man was just staring blankly; she was pretty sure Remus had no idea of the type of relationship Severus and Harry had. She glared at Severus for his words, but just found him smirking back, with great amusement, a playful one. She hadn't seen such a sight since Severus was fifteen years old…since Lily. When Lily had rejected him as her friend, all the good in Severus had died, but it seemed it had returned thanks to her son.

"I don't plan on going to near him," Remus said in confusion, staring between Minerva and Severus. They seemed to be having some sort of conversation, one he wasn't privy to. His mind mused over possible scenarios but he couldn't come to one that made sense. So instead he shook his thoughts off, focusing on Snape alone.

"Harry, come out here," Severus said, never once raising his voice, which confused Minerva and Remus. He was speaking in the merest whisper, how could anyone hear him even from a different room? Severus knew Harry was nearby; close enough to have heard Lupin. He'd sensed the hatred flaring in Harry the second he'd heard Lupin's voice, added with his own of course.

"Now I do wish I'd gone back for my knives, I need some target practise," Harry said as he came out of the room, he had an air of petulance around him. He grinned sadistically when Remus stepped back, fear flashing across his face along with doubt.

"Ha-Har-ry," Remus stuttered nervously, licking his lips, his hands securely in front protecting his balls from any more damage Harry might inflict on him. It had hurt like blazes the last time, and that had just been a book. The talk of knives made him decidedly very bloody nervous. He didn't doubt Harry would do it, he was merciless.

"Why won't you fucking leave me alone?" Harry snapped, unable to help himself. His green eyes flashed dangerously; he wanted to go over there and beat the hell out of him. So he did, he ran over to the werewolf and began beating on his chest, screaming at him. "I fucking hate you, do you hear me? You locked me up like a prisoner! Tried to make me some stupid little thoughtless solider! You don't give a fucking damn unless it's me killing the stupid dark lord! You lied to me! You said it would be what my parents wanted but it's not! They died for me; they didn't want me growing up in a world of war! Some best friend of my parents you turned out to be. Lying, manipulative, bloody arsehole! I hate you."

"Severus!" Minerva cried in alarm as both of them fell to the floor, Harry still screaming obscenities at Lupin. Still raining blows on the surprised man, who could only cry out in pain, unable to form a coherent word, never mind a sentence.

Severus wrapped both arms around Harry's midsection, trapping his arms within his grasp. He tightened his hold, with strength that would surprise everyone. He needn't have worried, as soon as Severus touched him, Harry went still in his arms, allowing himself to be carried away without a word or movement of protest. Both of them quickly disappeared into the bedroom. Harry was shaking; the adrenaline was still thrumming through him. Depositing Harry on the bed, Severus raided his bedside cabinet, grabbing a potion. He used his teeth to take the stopper out.

"Drink," Severus ordered in full Dom mode.

Harry knew that tone; opening his mouth he allowed the potion to slide in; he swallowed without grimacing. Harry could feel it working, the anger, the rage, everything began fading away, leaving him lethargic. Not too sluggish as he guzzled the water offered next, getting rid of the aftertaste.

Severus magicked the duvet from under him as he shifted Harry, placing him properly on the bed. Sighing sadly, his mind replayed the shouting Harry had done, finally understanding why Harry had reacted so violently to Lupin. Why it seemed he was the one who always got hurt, apart from Tonks that one time. To say he'd hurt her would be exaggerating, Harry had merely stunned her in his bid to get away. Stroking his face, Snape vowed silently once more to keep him safe, as Harry leaned into him even sleeping. Spelling his Sub's clothes off, he put the duvet over him. Severus stood over him for a few more minutes until he was sure Harry was asleep, and only then did he leave the room.

"Was any of that true?" Severus growled, his onyx eyes flashing dangerously. He knew Harry had spoken the truth. Harry had been too angry and full of hate for it not to be. He'd always believe his Sub over Lupin. Harry didn't lie, at least not often; apart from lying about his age, Harry had always been truthful.

Remus swallowed thickly, from where he lay on the floor. Minerva was beside him, trying to help him up. Remus might be skinny but he was a big man, and one who was in severe pain. Gasping in agony, he sat up panting, trying to ride the pain out. Why had it gone so wrong? He'd come to ask for forgiveness. It had gone terribly awry; he didn't know how to fix it. Harry's words…made him realize it wasn't going to be possible. He'd always known that deep down, but this confirmed it without a doubt. Maybe Snape did have a point, perhaps he was a masochist. "He twisted my words," Remus said, wincing once more, as fire raced through him. His lip was split, blood trickling down his mouth. He slumped down, suddenly without energy. He wanted to cry like a little boy, at the unfairness of the world, but his pride wouldn't let him.

Big thanks to Jake and Jordre for editing this!