I own nothing. The rating is mostly for language in this chapter.
A/N: There is slight Helen and Morelli bashing. Thank you for reading and for all of your messages and reviews.
Steph POV
I raced out of the shower away from Carlos' wandering hands. Helping me with my hair indeed! He did not touch my hair. That man was insatiable. My phone was ringing and I answered out of breath. I checked the time and it was 6am.
"Hello?"
"Princess, I waited until a normal time to call. I have been up since 0500. Don't tell me the Mexican is nasty in the mornings as well." I laughed at Ray. He is so silly calling Carlos different names. Carlos does it back. Maybe it is their thing.
"What's up, Ray?" He is adorable. Why did he get up at 5am? It was still dark at 5am. Carlos jumped me when I got up to use the bathroom. Otherwise, I would just be getting up now. He is a ninja like that.
"Princess, Quan wants to play with Fifi and Alex. He keeps aiming his little gun at me. "Wow. I giggle. "I am about to wake them up. Come for breakfast." He makes a noise like a buzzer.
"Hell no. Why do you want Marco to shoot me, Princess?" Carlos was out of the shower and still quite playful. He took away my towel and I backed away from him so he started dancing towards me. I don't have time for this.
"Raymond Christian Banks, stop acting like a spoiled child and come to breakfast." He sounds smug when he answers. "Yes, Princess. What is your address?" Wow, he played me. Carlos stopped dancing and started scowling. I give Ray the address and hung up.
"Babe, why is Maleek coming to breakfast?" I sigh.
"Carlos, I invited him and Quan to come breakfast. We will probably do something with the kids today. It will be fine. Please do not start any fights with him, Carlos." He growls and reaches for me. I slide out of reach.
"No, I have to get dressed and get the kids, Carlos." I kiss him and ignore the glare he is leveling at my phone. "Do not call him to threaten him. Do not assign more backup. I already have two guys, Ray and me. That is more than one adult per child. I will be careful, Carlos."
I put on a low-cut yellow tee shirt with blue writing that said "Taken" and blue denim low rise cargo capris with my name belt that said "Ricky" and my cornflower blue sparkly 6" sandals. I left my hair loose and kissed Carlos and ran to the kids' room.
Once I mentioned Quan, Alex and Fifi were in a great mood. They decided on tee shirts and black cargos. Their shirts said "I can keep a secret" and "I'm not a snitch". Lester was so funny with these shirts. I put them into their high chairs and set an extra high chair for Quan and fixed scrambled eggs and toast and turkey sausage. I got out the applesauce and started feeding the kids. I gave Carlos his large go cup of green tea with lemon and honey and kissed him. I sat on his lap and texted Ray the password which is pixie. He came inside ten minutes later.
"Hello baby Mexicans, hello Princess, hello Jorge."
Quan called me Miss Nena and I smiled at him. He was already one and he was so cute. "Good morning, Ray. Hello, Quan. I like your outfit. He was in green camo clothes. Fi and Alex nodded and pointed at it and said, "Please, Nena."
"Yes you can change your outfits after you eat, kids." They smiled at me and went back to eating. "Make your plates and sit down, Ray. I don't work here. That is Ella. She is a house elf." He laughs and fixes a plate for himself and Quan. He hands me a bag of muffins. I take out a chocolate chip one and eat it and moan.
"Heh heh. I baked those, Princess." Wow. I called Lula.
"What?" She was not a morning person.
"Lu, I have us a friend that looks like Michael Ealy, bakes like a black woman and loves Beyoncé. He brought me fresh baked muffins, girl." She gasped.
"Does he like shoes, too?" I looked at Ray who was smiling at me.
"What do you think of my shoes, Ray?" He looked at them.
"Well, they are awesome and I know where you can get some fierce sandals on the down low." I whisper to Lula. "Girl, he knows where there is a discount shoe warehouse. Come over!" I hang up.
"So, Raymond, what do you do? No job to go to today? I thought you said you did investments?" I look at Carlos like ixnay, but he keeps glaring at Ray. If he makes him leave, I was giving him immodium so he will not be able to do a number two. I kiss him quickly and turn back to feeding the kids.
"Reynaldo, I am paid. I work at my leisure. I am spending some time with my nephew who I will probably adopt because my sister is unfit. Stop trying to make me mad. I am not a shiftless Negro, and I know how to make grits, you heard me? Try to be pleasant and let our kids be friends."
Carlos just eats and glares for the next ten minutes. The door is slammed open and Lula comes inside in leopard print spandex.
"Where is he?" Tank is following behind her in his uniform and Ace and Demon are behind him.
"Lula, this is Ray and his nephew Jaquan. Ray, this is my best friend, Lula and her boyfriend Tank. That is Demon and Ace, our bodyguards." Lula hugs Ray and I hand her the bag of muffins.
"Damn, these are good. Girl, I have to give Connie some of these. I know you understand. Michael, sweetie, you are adorable. Let's do lunch and we can talk about shoes. Make Steph bring you to Golden Dragon. She hugged him again and kissed the kids and kissed Tank and left.
"Wow. I like her. She looks like Gabriel Union. She was working that leopard print." Tank just growls.
"Homie, do not even start. I am not ready for a relationship at this time. I have had a cheater, a stalker and a gold digger. For now, I am celibate because I am afraid of what the next chic might bring. I am focused on Quan and now on being besties with Princess and Eva. Sandor over here is one growl away from some grits as it is. I can make some for you, too, or we can go ballin. I will beat you, of course, or you can have a muffin." He hands Tank two muffins.
Tank looks speculative. He looks at Carlos, then at the kids, then at Ray. "We cool for now, man. I don't want to get between Lu and some shoes. You mean you like all that symphony and ballet and Beyoncé stuff?" Ray nods and wipes Quan's face.
"Yup. I am cultured, homie. I will do all that stuff with Eva if you want. Just tape the game for me. Matter of fact, I have box seats. Do you and Paco want to use them?" He hands Tank four tickets to tonight's playoffs. Tank hugs him and shows Carlos. Carlos smiles a little secret smile. I kiss him and tell Ray to follow me to change the kids in their room. I tell Ace and Demon to go ahead and eat. What a morning already!
Ranger POV
"So you acted like a dick and you got homemade muffins and tickets to the playoffs?" I give Lester a look. "That is not what I said, Primo, and if you want to go to the game, you will stop calling me names. He just sat back in his chair in my office.
"Cuz, that man is from the Air Force and he has money. You already knew that, but you still acted like a tiger with a splinter. Edna told me because Connie told her what Lula said she saw when she got some of those muffins. Tank said he likes all that ballet shit so he does not have to go. He has a little kid that likes guns like your kids. He is off women because he has had some crazy ones. He likes shoes. What are you mad about, Carlos?"
I did not want to admit that I am the most angry because he made my baby smile. I want to be the reason she lights up like that, dammit. Instead I say, "He called me Mexican, Paco, Reynaldo, Ignacio, and Cristobal that I can remember." There, let Lester turn that into something rosy.
"Cuz, he is being playful with you. He called Lula Eva and he called Steph Princess. He does not mean anything by it. Stop being like this. Now, quid pro quo, give homey a gun and a jacket." I sigh.
"Fine, I will give him the gear and I will see if he wants a system and I will give little Quan a panic chain like Sofia and Rafael's." Lester scoffs at me.
"Man, you are too slow. Steph probably called Mr. Morton before they left the house for the jewelry. You just have to go pick it up and have the trackers put inside." Oh, well, good.
"Okay, thanks, Lester."
"My ass! I want to go to the game with you and Tank. Pick me!" He starts dancing.
"Fine, I pick you. Tank is picking someone as well. Behave today. No chair races or fake chalk outlines outside of the police department. If you want Steph to hug you, you will do one outside Morelli's house with police tape." He looks gleeful at having a new mission.
"See you later, Cuz." I shake my head and call Mr. Morton who confirms what Lester said and I get some work done.
Steph POV
"So, I will have a chain like yours?" I nod at Ray.
"Yes and so will Quan." I dodge the ball as he throws it. We are in the yard waiting the half hour before we leave for lunch at Golden Dragon. We had played candyland because Ray said that was his favorite shit. Ace and Demon played, too. The kids just cheered and tried to count along with us. They were adorable. Ray was awesome. He even liked to change diapers. I have a little friend crush on him.
Fingers snap in front of my face. "Look, I know I am fine and all that, but stop staring at me. Your man will develop a complex about it. Do not match make me or I will mail all of your shoes to some skank with a card from you." I shudder at the thought of Joyce Barndhart wearing my shoes.
"Sorry, Ray. You are just so great. I am not interested in you that way. Just as a friend, I promise. I am in love with Carlos." He pats my hand.
"That's nice. So, Lula texted me not to talk to anyone. What does she mean?"
"Oh, the grapevine." I explained the Burg and the grapevine and my childhood and he was a little shocked. We drove to golden dragon and when we walked inside, people got all quiet. Dammit. I pretended not to notice, but I just knew I was getting a call from my mother today.
We sit at a back table and get the kids situated. Lula comes in with Gram. While Lula is in leopard print, Gram is in tiger print. I feel so conservative compared to them. Lula sits next to Ray and kisses his cheek. "Hello, Ray, Sweetie. I heard you gave my Tankie tickets to a game and you want to go to the ballet or the opera or some shit like that with me. I would rather go to see the new Tyler Perry play." Ray nods.
"Cool, we can definitely do that. Tonight, let's cook some crabs and fish and corn and potatoes at Princess' and chill in her yard. I can make margaritas. It will be great and I am sure one of the guard bulls will drive you home if you want to leave before the homie Tank comes back, Eva." She hugs him.
"That is the perfect plan, Ray!" Lula loves Ray, too. I smile.
"It is perfect, Ray." He shakes his head.
"Nope. Perfect would be what we will do to that asshat Morelli tonight, girls. The cookout is the distraction." He whispers this to us. Wow. He is wonderful. Lula looks at me and I nod. We both kiss Ray on the cheek.
Gram leans in close to Ray. "Little boy, you have to keep an eye on Stephie when she drinks and she needs the cure in the morning. I suggest you do your little op, then take her back and let her drink and dance in the yard. You are a good boy. If you give me a pair of boxers, I will put you on the no fly list." She wiggles her eyebrows at him.
Ray nods and pulls out a pair of red and white boxers that have kisses on them. Gram squeals like a fan and holds them up high. "Wow, sexual chocolate, these are nice." She smells them. "These smell so good."
"Thanks, Gram. I use Bvlgari Aqua." Wow, Carlos uses Bvlgari for men. It smells different on Ray though.
She stands up and waves the boxers around. "This was fun kiddies but Mabel is outside. Little boy give me your mother's number." He hands it over and Gram kisses the kids and leaves.
"I have to go back to work, cutie, but we will do that plan tonight with our cookout. Just call Ella and she will buy all you y'all supplies. We can talk about shoes tonight." She kisses everyone and Lula leaves. I am left with rice covered kids and Ray, who looks so content, I have to ask him.
"What were you doing before you met us, Ray? You seem so excited to hang with me and Lu and you sicced Gram on your mother." He smiles and kisses my hand.
"Princess I am happy to meet real people and not girls who are just into me until they get money out of me or all of that. I have Quan to worry about and besides, it is boring in the mansion with just me and Quan. I want to get him a puppy one day, but not any time soon. Let's get these kids cleaned up and hit the liquor store. Did you text the house elf lady?" I giggle and text Ella.
At the Wine and Spirits shop, I tell Ray to stay in the car, since we had taken mine, while I went inside with Ace. Demon would stay outside the car on watch. Inside the store, I push the cart and get everything on the list and get in line behind a woman with many, many bottles of vodka, jack daniels, and long island iced tea. Wow. I zone out while the line moves slowly, until I hear her voice and realize I am in line behind my mother and she is not having a good day.
"What do you mean the card is declined?!" Oh, damn. I send a text to the guys. Ace comes up to me and takes my card and my cart, while I circle around like I just came inside. My mother is still having a fit, so I walk up to her and start my own tirade. Heh heh.
"Mother, please stop yelling. Do you need money for your liquor? Are you having a party or something?" She sputters and turns red. I pay cash for her purchases and usher her outside telling her I got calls about her behavior and came to see what was wrong. I put the liquor in the back seat and make her put her seatbelt on. Once she drives off, I walk back towards my car, only to be intercepted. Why me!
"Hello, Cupcake. He stares at my shirt and my belt and sneers." I look at him blank faced.
"Hello, Morelli. Goodbye, Morelli. I have to go." He follows me, but so does Ace. He is fast!
"I heard you are stepping out on Manoso. You should have just called me." I turn and glare at him.
"You are wrong. I have a new friend. You know what a friend is, don't you? Do you have any friends, Morelli? I get into the car and strap on the seatbelt." Morelli has followed me to the car. He looks inside and sees the kids and Ray, who is playing big pimpin and singing along. He grins at Morelli and jams to his music.
"I suppose this is your Friend?" I just nod.
"Yup." I turned on the ignition.
"Why don't you meet me at Rossini's tonight? I will be at the bar at 8pm, Cupcake. We can talk about old times." I just stare at him.
"See you later, Cupcake." He swaggers away.
Ray just laughs. "Wow, he is an idiot. Now we know his dumb ass won't be home. I will call in and send him a couple of drinks to make him wait, Princess." I love Ray. He had my back.
"We are going to have some fun, Princess. Now let's make clay casts of the kids' hands and feet!" He was so fun! I cannot wait until later.
Steph POV
"Babe, are you really alright with me going to the game with Tank, Bobby and Lester?" I nod and walk Carlos to the door. "Yes, Carlos. I love you. Have fun and do not drink and drive." We kissed and he hugged the kids and left. Ten minutes later, Ray came in out of the backyard. The crabs and corn and fish smelled amazing.
"Come along, Princess. We are eating and planning, and then when we get back, we will put the kids to sleep and drink and dance." I love this guy. He is like having that guy on Girlfriends. He was their friend and he did crazy things with them.
We eat and feed the kids while we hash out the list. We decided to do the following to Morelli tonight:
Put catnip in his pockets.
Change his furniture around.
Rub insulation on his underwear so he will be itchy.
Send a case of extra small condoms to his job with flowers from Steve.
Send him muffins that will give him diarrhea.
Put green dye in his body wash.
Add pictures of him on flyers around town.
Add rainbow flags to his car and add soap to his lawn and turn on the sprinkler.
Put Bootylicious cd in his car.
I am not against gay people, but Morelli hates that and he hates being talked about. Heh heh. We leave the kids with Binkie and Phoenix, or Jacob and Javier and leave to do our mission. We are finished within an hour and a half and a lot of that time is because we stopped and laughed. We wore gloves and stockings on our heads and slippers we bought today. This was so much fun! When we got back, we danced and sang and had a ball! Ray and Lula had a doin the butt competition and Lula won. I sat down to catch my breath and the next thing I know, I am being carried to bed. Yeah! Ricky is here!
Ranger POV
We had a great time at the game, but I did not expect to find my woman passed out with Lula and Ray had cleaned up. He had vitamins and juice on the table in front of them and he said the kids were asleep. Why is he so perfect? I make Babe drink the juice and take the vitamins while she begs me to fuck her and to do anything I want to her. She says all of this while lolling on my shoulder as I try to take off her shoes. I don't want her to kick me with these heels on.
I nod at Ray and tell him to use a guest room tonight and he gives me a fist bump while calling me Pele'. I just shake my head. I knew she was too nice about me going out tonight. At least tomorrow is Saturday. I shower while holding Babe and then I dress her in a tee shirt and panties and she starts singing and dancing around the bedroom. She kissed me passionately and flopped onto the bed on her stomach and said go for it. I laughed and pulled her into my arms and talked to her until she fell asleep. I know about the Cure so we should be fine until at least 0700 when the kids will get up.
Steph POV
I wake up feeling only halfway horrible. Carlos hands me French fries and a coke, then he hands me a bowl of oatmeal.
"Thank you, Carlos. Where are the kids?" He smirks.
"Your perfect friend stayed in the guest room, love. He has all three kids already fed and they are out back playing. I took two hours off to make sure you were alright. I only have paperwork to do today. Your grandmother keeps calling you. She said she has pictures. What did you do last night, Babe?" Who me?
"I ate seafood and drank and danced, Carlos." I do not meet his eyes. Well, mine are still closed, so there.
"Stephanie, just tell me, please." Dammit, he said please.
"We did a magoo to Morelli. He will be slightly green, itchy and receiving pranks today. We also put catnip in his clothes so he will get all the pussy he wants. Heh heh." Carlos snorts.
"I love you, Babe. I am glad you had fun. Hasan said he will make you some pancakes. Please come downstairs. I will shoot that man if he comes into my bedroom." Wow, he is deadly serious.
"Yes, Ricky." He kisses me gently.
"Te amo, Nena."
"I love you, back."
When he leaves, I rush through my shower and go downstairs to talk to Ray. He said he would get pictures of Morelli.
"Good late morning, Princess. I know you want to go running, but eat these pancakes and drink this ginger tea." I drink the tea and it is delicious.
"Thanks, Ray." He smiles and slides an envelope to me. I look at the pictures and howl laughing. Morelli looks a mess. Revenge is sweet. I am so glad it is a Saturday. I just want to relax after my running and another shower. Carlos will have to take a raincheck today. I am beat. I think I am getting too old for this shit. Naahh!