Randy and Matt were snuggling in the warm confines of their hotel room bed when Matt's cell phone rang. By the ring tone, they both knew who it was.
"Ugh." Matt groaned, trying to snatch a last cuddle.
"He sure does pick his moments." Randy raised his head from Matt's chest.
"Yeah." Matt found the phone was just beyond his reach. "Can you answer that? You're closer."
"Since when am I your answering service?" Randy good-naturedly joked, but got it. "Hey Jeffro, what's up?"
"Uhms, I need to talk to Matty." Jeff stated
"He just went to take a piss." Randy replied. Actually, Matt was still lying next to him, but his expression said that whatever Jeff wanted, it could wait.
"Oh. Imma need some help." Jeff answered "Can you has him call me when he gets out?"
"Is something wrong?" Randy demanded. Beside him, Matt furrowed his brow.
"A little. Coopy got hit by a car and Imma had a few drinks so I can't drive him to the hostipal." Jeff was still a little fuzzy in the head.
"That's hospital, Jeff." Orton corrected "You've been there enough times, you should be able to pronounce it."
Jeff pouted.
Matt shook his head. He'd heard what Jeff had said and, while he was starting to accept the fact that he and Cooper were getting close, he still wanted as little as possible to do with him.
"What do I tell him?" Randy mouthed silently.
Matt made drinking motions.
"Matt had a few tonight as well..." Randy answered
"Oh." Jeff sighed
"...but I can be there in five minutes."
Matt's jaw dropped. What the fuck...!
Orton hung up and climbed out of bed. "Don't give me that look, Matthew." Randy gathered his clothes and began to dress. "I thought we agreed that you were gonna get your head outta your ass."
"We did, but nowhere did I say that I was be his chauffeur 'coz he's too drunk to get outta the way of a car." Matt huffed
"Fine." Randy grabbed his key card and car keys. "I won't be too long."
It was hard to say who was more surprised. Jeff for seeing Randy at his hotel room door or Randy for actually being there.
"Randy?"
"Don't ask." Orton stepped into the room and looked at Cooper. Having had his own concussions over the years, he recognized the signs immediately. "We'd better get goin'."
"I'm fine." Cooper gasped "You don't need to make a fuckin' case outta this."
"How many fingers?" Randy flipped Cooper off.
"What kinda question is that?" Cooper retorted "Four."
"Get your ass up, Lawson." Randy answered
"Fuck you, Orton." Cooper said, but staggered to his feet. "I ain't goin' to no Goddamn hospital."
"And I say you are." Orton grabbed Cooper by the shoulders and started heading out the door. "You comin' with?" He asked Jeff, who seemed a little unsure of whether to go or to stay.
"Maybe Imma stay here." Jeff said softly. "Someone is gonna hafta tell Marky."
"Marky-Mark donna need to know." Cooper had suddenly grown a Southern accent. "Don't tell Marky-Marky... please, Jeffy-Jeff. It'll just..." Cooper's eyes grew distant and the rest of what he was saying became totally incomprehensible.
"We're gone." Randy draped Cooper's arm across his shoulders and walked him down to his car.
The ride was in complete silence until Cooper spoke just as they were pulling into the parking lot.
"Don't tell Dad." Cooper groaned, grabbing Randy's forearm tightly.
"Cooper, you're one of us now. We don't squeal. If you wanna tell James, that's up to you." Randy answered
Cooper looked confused. "James? What about him?" His voice was so faint that if his eyes were closed, Randy would've sworn that he was asleep.
"You said don't tell Dad. I assumed..."
"No!" Cooper shouted, surprisingly loud. "Mark! Don't tell Mark! He's not my father!"
"Just relax." It was probably the head trauma that was responsible for Cooper's outburst, and Orton let it be.
He ran inside, grabbed the first orderly he could find and five minutes later, Cooper had been admitted.
...
James stared at the television. He'd argued with himself for hours over whether or not he should watch Smackdown. Until recently, Mark had always kept his lover apprised of what was going on so he wouldn't have to. When Cooper joined, that changed and his and Mark's lack of communication even extended that far. The few times they did talk, it ended in a big fight.
"Fuck." James slammed the remote on the floor, sending pieces flying in every direction.
Connor chose this moment to come into the living room, Snoopy, Thor, Spike and an unidentified animal tagging behind.
"Hiya daddy!" He sang. "Look what I found... it's a kitty."
"I can see that." James growled. It was hard not to, considering Connor had stuck it right in his face. "Should I ask why you're showing it to me?"
"I found it." Connor replied "It's mine now."
Oh God, not another one. Just what the fuck I need.
"Do you really need another one. You've got two dogs and a goat already." James barked
"Meanie!" Connor yelled
"I know, I know." James rolled his eyes. Why me?
"Yeah." Connor stuck his tongue out. "'Sides, Spike, Snoopy, 'n' Thor all love him. See?" He set the tabby down in front of the two dogs and they, to James annoyance, did not immediately go for blood. They sniffed the new pet and started nuzzling him... or was it a her? Even Spike looked happy with the newest addition, and that really pissed James off.
"Whatever. Take your menagerie and go away." James answered, staring angrily at the shattered remote on the floor. He could honestly not remember why he'd broken in it the first place, but now that meant he either had to watch a program from start to finish or sit right in front of the television like Connor while he flipped.
"Meanie." Connor repeated "Spike, Snoopy, Thor, Big Boy, let's go play." He ran upstairs, the animals right behind. The cat stopped for one second and looked at James.
"Don't give me that look." James glared back. "This is still my house."
"Miaow!" Big Boy answered and took off up the stairs.
What the hell else could go wrong? James plodded into the kitchen to look for the Krazy-Glue.
Almost as if on cue, the phone rang at that moment. "Son of a bitch," he muttered. He grabbed it violently, almost breaking it too in the process. "What?" he said gruffly.
Jeff hiccuped loudly on the other end of the line. "Mark?" he said, sounding completely and utterly drunk. "I has to talk to you about Cooper."
James, who had almost yelled at Jeff for calling the wrong number, stopped in his tracks. Clearing his throat and looking around to make sure Connor wasn't around to spoil what he was about to do, he started doing his best Mark impersonation, hoping Jeff was too drunk to notice any differences between the voices. "What happened? Is he alright?"
Jeff sniffled. "Imma made a mistake," he said tearfully. "I gotted all drunk and he didn't want to take advantage of me but I thought that meant he didn't love me anymore so I ran away and then he got hit by a car--"
"HE WHAT?" James yelled, completely dropping the Mark charade. Lucky for him, Jeff was still too drunk and upset to comprehend that he had dialed the wrong number.
"He got back to the hotel afterward but now Randy's taking him to hostipal," Jeff continued, seemingly trying to force himself to calm back down. "But Matty had some to drink too and Imma still too drunk to drive and I don't know who to call for a cab. Can you pick me up and take me to see him?"
James scowled. "I would if I was Mark," he growled, no longer having patience to deal with this. Fucking Hardys. Nothing good ever came from associating with them. This just proved that theory.
"Wait…what?" Jeff said in confusion.
"I'm James you idiot!" James yelled before hanging up the phone and tossing it against the wall. It broke into several pieces, but he didn't give a rat's ass. He had to go through Mark's planner thingy and find out where Cooper and all them were supposed to be and then get there and find out which hospital his son was at. And once he made sure Cooper was okay…well, it was safe to say Jeff was seriously going to get it. He would make damn sure of that.
…
Cooper felt like he was falling. It was so dark…he couldn't see anything around him to grab on to. His stomach started doing flips and he tried to yell as he crashed…but instead of hitting the ground he found himself waking up in a hospital bed. "Oh fucking hell," he groaned. His head was killing him and his knees were sore, but he did feel a little bit more coherent than before. "How long was I out?"
"A few hours," Mark replied. He looked at his oldest son with great concern. "The nurses woke you up a whole bunch but this is the first time you've been coherent." He looked at Jeff, who was sitting on the bed, practically curled up right on Cooper. "I'm going to go get the doctor."
"Okies," Jeff said with a nod.
Cooper sighed and waited until Mark was out of the room before he spoke again. "Didn't I tell you not to call him?" he asked. Some of what happened in the hotel room was really fuzzy now, so he couldn't be one hundred percent sure about what he said.
Jeff looked down, a guilty look plastered on his face. "Imma sorry Coopy," he said remorsefully. "I keep messing up real bad."
Cooper shook his head. "Never mind." He looked around. "Where's Randy at? He drove me here, right?"
"Yeah but he left not long after Mark and I got here," Jeff told him. "He said he didn't want to be here with the explosion happened."
"Explosion? Wait, is there a bomb in here or something?" Cooper sure as hell hoped that wasn't the case because he did not want to get blown to pieces, thank you very much.
"I um…I was trying to call Mark but the first time I dialed the wrong number," Jeff confessed, chewing on his lower lip nervously.
Cooper blinked at him. "So who did you end up calling?" Jeff didn't answer him, which made him nervous as hell. "Jeff! Who did you end up calling?"
"COOPY!" Connor yelled, coming right in with James, who looked ready to murder someone. "Coopy! Poor Coopy, I'll kill that car for ya!"
Cooper grunted in pain as Connor practically jumped right on top of him and started hugging him as tightly as he could. "What, so you don't hate me now?"
"Mmmmm….I don't know," Connor said. "But I'm going to kill that mean car anyway."
Cooper rolled his eyes. That was apparently Connor's way of saying "I love you" tonight.
"You are so fucking dead," James growled at Jeff, coming over to the bed and hovering over Cooper protectively.
Jeff squeaked and shrank back in fear. "Imma sorry," he said, looking ready to jump right up and go and hide. "Imma didn't mean--"
"He's not the one who hit me with the car Dad," Cooper said in exasperation. "Take your anger out on that guy."
"Oh I will. I definitely fucking will," James assured.
"And you need to leave Jeff alone. It was an accident, he didn't want me to get hit."
James rolled his eyes before patting Cooper on the shoulder. Cooper was pretty sure the older man was keeping his composure so he didn't upset Cooper in his injured state. "Yeah yeah yeah. You just rest and I'll take care of everything else." He shook his head in amazement. "Here I was worrying about you getting hurt in the ring, and then you go get hit by a car. I'm going to have to start traveling with you just to make sure you stay out of trouble."
"Oh God, please don't," Cooper groaned. Keeping an eye on James while out on the road was a nightmare. Previous family vacations had proven that to be a fact.
It wasn't hard to sense the tension in the room. Mark continued to glare at James, who glared right back, then, when Mark didn't say anything, turned his gaze on Jeff, who whimpered and curled up closer to Cooper.
"I'm going out." Mark announced "Let me know when the doctor gets here."
James followed Mark into the hallway.
"What the fuck do you want now?" Mark demanded
"You do realize that this is all your fault." James said in a low tone.
"Everything is my fault when it comes to Cooper now." Mark answered "You are starting to sound like a broken record."
"Just be thankful that's all that's been broken." James looked up and down the corridor. Mark sighed. This usually meant James was say something really stupid, and possibly illegal. "This has got to fucking stop."
"It's up to Cooper. He may be my son..."
"There you go again." James slapped the wall beside Mark's head. "You seem to forget that until recently, he didn't give two pieces of shit about you."
"Is that what's eating at you? The fact that Cooper's becoming a lot closer with me?" Mark stared at his long-time lover in disbelief. James didn't reply right away, but Mark saw something in his eyes he hadn't seen in years: a touch of sadness.
"I raised him." James answered "And now you're trying to take him away from me."
"Walk with me psycho." Mark pointed to the exit. The pair exited the hospital and found a secluded area to talk.
"I'm not trying to take Cooper away from you... or Connor." Mark leaned against a wall and lit a cigarette. "I've fucked up royally with all my other kids, as you know, and I just wanna do right with Cooper... you'll always be Dad to him."
"Fuckin' A." James answered
"Unless you're planning to make Cooper think he needs to choose between the two of us, I think we should try to put all this bullshit behind us." Mark stated
James thought, plucking the cigarette from between Mark's lips and taking a puff. "I guess."
"And as for Jeff..."
"Accepting this wrestling stuff is bad enough... can we please not discuss Twinky Dink just now?" To Mark's irritation, James finished his cigarette.
"Since you're now so accepting of 'this wrestling stuff', you might wanna watch Smackdown next week... Cooper cuts his first promo." Mark waited to see how James would react.
To Mark's total astonishment, James grinned. "Wouldn't miss it for the fuckin' world."
"Good. Let's go back inside and tell my... OUR son the good news." Mark said
Returning to Cooper's room, they found the doctor had arrived during their absence.
"...it easy for the next day or two and take the pills as prescribed. If the headaches don't go away within a week, come back and we'll run some more scans, but it doesn't appear serious enough to keep you here any longer..."
"I can go?" Cooper asked "Fuckin' awesome!"
"Yay!" Jeff shouted, hugging Cooper. Connor jumped on the bed, and the two briefly played tug-of-war for Cooper.
"Knock it off you two, or neither of you will be getting any candy." James stated "Cooper is not a toy to play with... that didn't come out right."
"MEANIE!" Connor and Jeff shouted at the same time.
"How about I take these two off your hands for a few minutes?" Mark offered "I saw some vending machines in the waiting room."
"Skittles!" Jeff shouted "I love you Marky!"
"No, Peanut M & M's!" Connor interrupted "I love you more!"
James saw what Mark was trying to do, and laughed to himself. Once the room was cleared, he sat down while Cooper dressed.
"Cooper, you know this has been difficult for me. Ever since your Mom died, it's been you, me, and Connor..."
"I know what you're gonna say." Cooper grabbed his jeans and slipped into them before turning to face him. "If it means that much to you, I'll tell Mark and Stephanie that I'm quitting."
"Son, sit." James patted the bed. His Hollywood Undead T-Shirt still in his hand, Cooper joined his father.
"I'm not gonna lie to you. It would make me happier if things were sorta back to the way they were..."
"You mean with me hating Mark with a passion?" Cooper asked
"Yeah. Part of me is glad that you and Mark are both getting something out of this relationship. Finally. But another part of me is... y'know..." James looked at his son, hoping that he wouldn't have to finish his thought.
"You're afraid that I'm gonna jump into this thing with Mark and forget about you and Connor, right?"
James' right eye twitched, a sign that Cooper had hit it right on the nose.
"That ain't gonna happen." Cooper continued "Mark is well, Mark... but you're always gonna be Dad."
"And don't you forget it." James added, chuckling.
"Mark tell you about Smackdown?" Cooper changed topics.
"Yeah. I'll be watching." James answered, a touch of pride in his voice. "Now, if it's okay with you Mister-big-WWE-superstar, I'd like to get outta this place."
WWE superstar. I like the sound of that.