Disclaimer: "The Laughing Gnome" belongs to David Bowie, as does my heart. The Labyrinth and Co. belong to Jim Henson and Co., as does all my free time.
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#21 The Laughing Gnome
If he honestly thought sending goblins after me would win his case, he was sorely mistaken. He promised me mornings of gold and valentine evenings, once. Now I had goblins perched on the foot of my bed, waking me up reciting the absolute worst puns!
"Does the king let you on his bed?" I groaned.
"You crazy lady?! The king doesn't let us anywhere near his bed!"
I reached for my emergency cigarette stash; the pack was empty. Damn goblins.
"No where near his bed, huh?"
I heard his chuckle coming from atop my other pillow.
"Tempted, precious?"
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This song was a weird one, y'all. But, as I have defended the poor man many times on Reddit, Mr. Bowie wrote this one as a children's song. Still weird, and damn near impossible to tie to Labyrinth, but it wasn't meant to be taken seriously. We hope.
I appreciate and welcome any and all feedback! Thanks for reading! Lyrics below.
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The Laughing Gnome
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee "I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee "I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"
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Said the laughing Gnome
Well I gave him roasted toadstools and a glass of dandelion wine (Burp, pardon)
Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne
Carried his bag and gave him a fag (Haven't you got a light boy?)
"Here, where do you come from?"
(Gnome-man's land, hahihihi)
"Oh, really?"
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In the morning when I woke up
He was sitting on the edge of my bed
With his brother whose name was Fred
He'd bought him along to sing me a song
Right, let's hear it
Here, what's that clicking noise?
(That's Fred, he's a "metrognome", haha)
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Ha ha ha, hee hee hee "I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me"
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee "I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"