Part Five
Even for someone born and raised in Seattle the weather could take it's toll, so for those who came to Seattle from other places the seemingly endless overcast and rain could be mind numbing. A break from the weather, a break from work, a break from life in Seattle was why Callie and Arizona Robbins-Torres had agreed to co-own a massive California beach house with their friend Addison Altman-Montgomery. The massive house was right on the coastline, giving them a private beach. It had two master suites, and six other bedrooms. The huge living room was open and spacious with both outside walls opening to the outdoors, and giving a breathtaking view of the ocean coastline and surrounding hills. The family room sported a huge entrainment center on one wall, a massive built in aquarium in another, and banks of French doors that lead to the deck, patio, and pool. Many wonderful summers and long holiday weekends had been spent at the house by both families, but for the first time Josephine Robbins-Torres was there without her parents. It was a sisters only weekend. Both Josie and Sophie had Monday off and because they felt Josie needed a break from missing her sister and her cancer fighting boyfriend Conner, Callie and Arizona had agreed to let her miss school on Friday so she could fly down to LA on Thursday night. Sophie only had one class on Friday mornings so she was more then willing to skip Western Civ to pick her baby sister up at the airport and then drive out to the beach out for the weekend.
Josie had been a little reluctant to leave Conner behind for four and half days, but she just couldn't pass up this alone time with Sophie. Conner had been getting better; he'd even been released from the hospital and was home, which was a huge load off Josie's shoulders. Not having to worry about Conner left her time to really, really miss her sister. Her mothers had lost count of the number of times they'd find Josie asleep in Sophie's room rather then her own, her sapphire blue eyes pink and puffy from crying herself to sleep. So it was agreed that the girls would use the beach house this weekend with their mothers blessing and constant reminders that they trusted the girls, and that if that trust was broken there wouldn't be any more sisters only weekends, but there would be two very sorry little girls.
"So that's like your place?" Conner asked as he looked at the images on his computer screen. Josie was showing him the house over facetime. "Your moms own it?"
"Well, they own half." Josie said with a chuckle. "My Aunt Addie owns the other half."
Conner just shook his head and chuckled nervously. "Jos, it's like a mini mansion. I mean I still get floored when I walk into your normal house. That's a mini mansion in Cali on the beach."
"Wait till this summer." Josie said as she fell back onto the white plush sofa in the living room. "I'm planning on asking if you can come with us. You have no idea how much fun it is here. Then you'll really feel floored."
"You're going to ask your moms if you can bring your boyfriend on vacation with you?" Conner asked with a smirk on his face that made his green eyes dance.
Josie loved that look. "Yeap." She said brightly. "Me and you on the beach. You in trunks, me in a…"
"JoJo!" Sophie called out as she came down the hall stairs. "Come on, we're burning daylight!"
"I have to go." Josie told Conner with a heavy sigh that quickly turned into a dazzling smile. "Sophie and I are going shopping."
Conner just shook his head. "I'm never going to get use to the fact that you're some kind of heiress."
Josie laughed. "You'll deal. Just don't ever compare me to Paris Hilton again and we'll be cool." When Josie first tried to explain things to Conner, that her family had money, and that her grandfather was a bit of a hotel mogul, he'd said, "So, you're like Paris Hilton or something?" Josie had snorted after punching him in the arm. "No! I have self respect and intelligence, and my Abuelo's hotels are hella classier and more upscale then any old Hilton."
"Josie!" Sophie yelled.
"Gotta run." Josie said with a groan. "Love you."
"Love you too. Have fun babe." Conner replied before cutting the call.
The girls had decided to spend Friday on the beach, Saturday in LA, Sunday just doing whatever, and Monday before heading home was just going to be chilling. After having breakfast in their Aunt's convertible sports car while driving down the PCH, the Robbins-Torres sisters hit all the trendy shops and for a few hours acted and spent like the heiresses they actually were. While sitting in a new hot Japanese pop culture sushi bar, the girls talked and laughed.
"So, what's this Cory guy like?" Josie asked her sister after finding out that Sophie had been out with a film student she'd met at a frozen yogurt bar off campus.
"He's funny, he's cute, and he's creative." Sophie answered. "We've only been out a couple of times though so we're still getting to know each other."
Josie couldn't keep the smile off her face. "Are you going to go out with him again?"
Sophie shrugged. "We might do something next weekend."
"Are you two, ya know?" Josie asked as she wagged her eyes brows. "Doing the McNasty with the junior McHottie?"
"Josie!" Sophie said as she sputtered on the sip of tea she'd just taken. "You're hanging out in the surgical gallery with the twisted sisters again aren't you?"
"You left me." Josie said deadpan. "I'm lonely and in desperate need of sisterly interaction. So, are you?"
Sophie rolled her eyes before answering, "No, we're not."
Josie didn't say anything until after the waiter had brought their meals. Then she asked, "Why not?"
"We're not at that stage yet." Sophie replied. "It's only been a few dates."
Josie seemed happy with that answer because she let the topic drop. After lunch the girls went back to shopping. After finding a couple of seriously cute outfits that skated around the edge of what their mothers would let them wear in public, they decided to check out the nightlife around the beach house. After calling their mothers and making dinner at the house Josie and Sophie started getting ready for a night out. Josie had picked out a blue tunic dress with a draped neck, lace inset, and foiled floral graphic. The skirt part of the dress was black and hugged her legs mid thigh. It was short, not sluttly short, but short enough that her Mommy would have protested and put up a good fight about her wearing it. Sophie had gone for a black micro mini skirt dress with a red spaghetti strap tank under a black lace top.
As Sophie did her hair and make-up Josie picked up the conversation from lunch. "Soph?"
"Hmm?" The older girl replied as she took a bobby pin from her lips to place in her sister's dirty blonde hair.
Josie paused for a moment and then asked, "Are you still a virgin?"
Sophie was really glad that she no longer had pins in her mouth because she would have swallowed them as the unexpectedness of her sister's question ripped through her. "What?" She sputtered out as Josie turned to look at her.
"Are you still a virgin?" Josie repeated.
It was the seriousness in her sister's question that made Sophie sink onto the bed across from where Josie was sitting. "Yes, I am." She answered and then with a touch of fear and uncertainly she asked, "You are too, right?"
Josie nodded. "Yes, I am."
"Why did you think I might not be?" Sophie asked.
"Because, isn't that what you do in college?" Josie asked. "Explore the things you weren't allowed too as a kid at home."
Sophie nodded carefully. "Kind of. Yeah, being away at college gives you a chance to start taking life on a little more adult like, but that doesn't mean you go ape shit crazy and start acting all out of character and stuff. I've thought about having sex, but hell, I thought about having sex while I was still high school. It just hasn't been right for me yet."
"That'll make M&M feel better." Josie said. "They were worried you'd leave home and I quote, "Her Sloan genes will kick in." not sure what that means, but I'm pretty sure it has to do with sex."
"Josie." Sophie said, choosing to ignore what she knew about their father's days as a manwhore. "Have you and Conner talked about having sex?"
Josie shrugged. "Once, but it made me uncomfortable because he was talking about dying, and how it would suck to die a virgin."
Sophie frowned. "Josie, I know you care about Conner, and I know you care about him a lot. But don't let him pressure you into anything. You're only fifteen. You're not ready for sex."
"How do you know that?" Josie asked with a slight touch of anger in her voice.
"You blushed when you asked me if I was a virgin." Sophie replied softly. "You're eyes dart around like you're expecting to be scolded for even talking about it. Trust me baby sister, you're not ready. You'll know when you are, and there isn't anything wrong about not being ready. I'm not ready either."
Josie was quiet for a few moments before looking up. "I miss you, Soph."
Sophie got up and pulled her baby sister into her arms and hugged her tight. "I know JoJo. I miss you too. I'm just a phone call away ya know. If you ever need to talk about stuff just call me. And if you ever need me, I'll be on a phone in a flash. I promise."
After they finished getting ready the girls were able to find an age appropriate club and spent the rest of the night dancing and having fun. Everyone at the club was quickly drawn to the hot little blonde and her Latina sister. They danced without being the least bit self-conscious because they'd been raised to be proud of themselves, of their bodies, and their beauty. But they'd also been raised to respect themselves, so while the Robbins-Torres girls turned heads they did it without having to turn dancing into public sex. Even eleven hundred miles from home, the girls were still who their mothers were raising them to be.
Since it had been well past two in the morning before the girls got home, and three in the morning before they fell into bed for the night, most of Sunday was spent sleeping. When they did finally get out of bed they headed right down to the beach. Josie had been a little worried when she tried to call Conner and got no answer, but Sophie was quick to remind her that Conner had a life outside of her and the hospital. Sophie kept her sister busy for the rest their time together. Sunday night they had dinner at their favorite seafood place, they stayed up all night watching movies, talking, laughing, and just enjoying their time together. Monday morning they had breakfast on the beach, and just hung around the house until it was time to take Josie to LAX.
Callie Robbins-Torres was waiting at SeaTac for her youngest daughter. Normally Arizona would have been with her but her wife was at the hospital, where she'd been since Saturday. She'd talked to her girls that morning and could see how much better Josie had looked after spending time with Sophie, and how much better Sophie had looked as well. Her eldest wouldn't admit it to anyone but Callie could tell her baby was homesick.
"Do you see her mijo?" Callie asked her son who was standing on a chair looking for his sister.
Timothy "Mac" Robbins-Torres shook his head. "No, not yet. Are you going to tell her Conner is in the hospital again?"
Callie sighed. "Yes, I'll talk to her. I don't want you saying anything, Mac."
"I won't." Mac promised. "I don't want to make her sad. Even if she and Sophie wouldn't let me go to the beach house with them."
For the last four days all her son did was complain about not being with his sisters, but before Callie could scold him for continuing to complain she heard her daughter's voice ring out.
"Mommy!" Josie said brightly as she came running up to her mother. There was a bright smile on Josie's face as she threw her arms around her mother and hugged her. "Missed you."
"Missed you too mija." Callie said as she held her daughter tight, maybe a little tighter then she normally would have. "Look at you all tan and totally cute."
Josie smiled a huge smile. "It was a great weekend. Thanks for letting me go."
"I'm glad you and your sister had a great time." Callie said as she and her kids headed to baggage to get Josie's things. She was a little surprise when Josie came home with an extra full suitcase but didn't say anything. She really should have known the girls would go a little shopping crazy. Josie talked the whole way home about everything she and Sophie did and Callie couldn't keep the smile off her face. It had been a long time since she'd seen so much light in Josie's eyes. When they got home Josie took her stuff up to her room and then went out into the backyard with Mac and the dogs. Callie stood at the siding door watching her daughter laugh and act like a happy kid again.
"I can't do it." Callie said into her phone as she paced her and Arizona's bedroom.
"Calliope." Arizona said on the other end.
Callie shook her head, which set her raven hair dancing around her shoulders. This, teenage daughters in puppy love with dying boys, this is why she had gray hair. "She's her old self again, Arizona. She's all bubbly and light. If I tell her she'll go back to being all dark and twisty. I do not want to be Meredith Grey's mother!"
"It's bad this time, Calliope." Arizona said gently. "You need to tell her. You need to bring her here."
"What are his chances?" Callie asked as she sank down to sit on the foot of their bed.
"There's massive damage to his liver from the chemo." Arizona said honestly, sadly. "And his kidneys aren't looking so great either. I've spent hours on the phone with UNOS, we're waiting to hear back from the transplant board. I've resected what I could, but it's just damage control for now."
Callie's shoulders slumped. "Ok. Ok, we'll be there in an hour."
Josie was sitting on the couch with a slight frown. She'd been trying to get a hold of Conner but he still wasn't answering his phone, or replying to texts, and now there was no answer at his house either. Had he and his mother had plans? Was his dad in town? She couldn't remember. She'd been so caught up in being with Sophie and being at the beach house, she couldn't remember if he'd said he'd be out this weekend.
"Josie." Callie said softly as she walked over and sat beside her daughter on the couch.
"I can't get a hold of Conner." Josie said as soon as she felt her mother's presence. "I don't remember if he said he had plans."
Callie's heart was breaking. "Baby, Conner doesn't have any plans. Baby, he spiked a sudden fever and was taken to the hospital Saturday night. The chemo caused some damage to his liver and kidneys. Mama did what she could to get him stable, but…"
"No." Josie cut in as she shook her head almost violently. "No, he's going to be fine. He's had set backs before. He'll be fine. Mama's got this." She jumped to her feet. "Can you take me over there?"
"Yes, of course baby, but…" Callie started.
"I said no!" Josie said a little more forcefully. She didn't want to hear that she needed to face the fact that this might not turn out well. "He's going to be fine. Please, just take me to see him. Please Mommy."
Callie nodded. "Ok, ok, come on."
Arizona was speaking to Conner's mother when she saw her wife and daughter step off the elevator. When Josie looked at her, when their matching blue eyes met, she could see her daughter begging her to make Conner better again, begging her not to let him die. Arizona's heart broke and she had to force herself to swallow a sudden sob.
"She's been such a bright light in his life." Piper said softly as they watched Josie go into Conner's room. When Callie joined her and Arizona she looked at the girl's mothers. "Thank you for allowing that, and I'm so sorry."
Conner was laying in bed with his eyes closed and it caused a soft sob to bubble up in Josie's throat. She couldn't explain why, and she was trying like hell to ignore it, but deep down she knew this was different then all the other times. Conner just didn't look right. Walking over to the bed she reached out and took his hand.
Bright green eyes opened and looked up into bright blue ones. Conner smiled. "You're all tan. You look hot."
Josie chuckled to cover a sob. "Wait until you see me in my new dress."
"Yeah?" He replied as Josie sat gently on the edge of his bed.
"Yeah." Josie said as she pulled out her phone to show him the picture Sophie took of her the night they went clubbing.
"Shit." Conner said with the biggest smile on his face. "My girl's freaking hot."
Josie's smile wasn't nearly as big but it was genuine. "That's what you get when you date a Latina." She said before leaning down to kiss him. "I should be mad at you for asking my mothers not to call me when you were brought in."
"I didn't want to ruin your weekend with Sophie. You were missing her like crazy." Conner said. "You're here now. So it's all good."
They talked about Josie's trip for a little while, and about Conner spending Saturday morning flying model planes with his Dad. They talked about everything but what was lingering in the room between them. Finally Conner took Josie's hand in his and ran a finger over the bracelet he'd given her for her birthday. "Promise me something Josie."
"Don't." Josie said softly. "Conner, please, don't. You're going to be fine."
"Josie." Conner said softly.
Josie shook her head and got off his bed to put a little distance between them. "Don't talk about dying Conner because you're not going to die. The doctors here, the doctors here are gods, Conner. They do the impossible. My Mama, she's a peds god, she saves tiny human lives all the time. She saved my sister's life you know. Sophie was born way, way to early, and my Mama, she made her heart beat. One time this boy was seconds away from dying and she saved his life because she knew he needed a transplant. And another time she asked my Aunt Teddy for help and they totally recycled a pair of lungs for one of Mama's cancer patients. My Mama, she keeps kids who should have died alive, because she's a god, they're all gods, and your not going to die because their gods, and they save lives."
"Josie." Conner said softly. "You're rambling."
"I'm a Robbins." Josie said as she wiped angrily at the tears on her cheeks with the back of her hand. "We do that. Robbins ramble, Torres rant in Spanish, and Sloans charm. I'm all three so I do all three."
"I've noticed." Conner said with a small, warm smile.
"You're not going to die." Josie said firmly.
"Ok." Conner said, not wanting to argue. "But will you do me a favor?"
Josie stepped back over to the bed and sat down on the edge. "What?"
Conner reached behind his neck and unfastened the braided leather necklace he always wore. It had a small Celtic cross on it, with a Claddagh in the center of the cross. The only time Conner ever took it off was for surgery and radiation treatments. He put it around Josie's neck and fastened it. "Wear this for me."
"Conner." Josie choked out.
"Please." Conner said. "Dr. Robbins is Irish right, or partly at least? So, my Irish Latina can wear it for me, it looks good on you."
The house was dark and quiet, its occupants' all asleep, some more peacefully then others. In the master bedroom Arizona slept with her wife's arms wrapped around her, and Callie's warm breath against her neck. The blonde moaned softly when the stillness of their room was disrupted by the blaring intrusion of a pager. Cracking open one eye she looked over at her nightstand to see if it was hers and groaned softly when she saw the soft glow of it's display. It was hers. Reaching for it she peered at it and the message scrolling across its screen. In an instant she was wide-awake and disentangling herself from her wife's warm, safe, embrace.
"Zo?" Callie moaned at the sudden loss of warmth and wife.
"It's Conner." Arizona whispered as she pulled on a pair of jeans and a shirt. Arizona had spent the last three weeks using every trick she knew and inventing new ones to keep Conner stable until they could find a familial match who was willing to give him part of their liver and a kidney. Because of his history with cancer the transplant board had refused to put him on the list, so they had to depend on a family member. So far the only match was a material cousin who was currently severing on a submarine and was trying his best to get permission to leave and take the time off required.
Callie sat up. "Zo?"
"I don't know." Arizona said as she looked into her wife's eyes. "Don't say anything. I'll call you when I know more."
"Buenos dias, Mommy." Josie said several hours later as she walked into the kitchen wearing an over sized Miami Heat jersey that her grandfather had given her. She walked over to her mother and kissed her cheek before resting her sleepy head on her Mommy's shoulder.
"Buenos dias, mija." Callie replied as she gave her baby a cuddle before setting a plate with two poached eggs, rye toast with butter and jelly, and three strips of bacon down at the table for her daughter.
"Gracias Mommy." Josie said as she sat down and poured some juice into her glass. "Mama leave for the hospital already?"
Callie nodded as she started making Mac's breakfast. Her son was already up, she'd heard him playing in his room, but he always waited until he heard his sisters come down before coming down himself. "A few hours ago."
It wasn't unusual for one of her mothers to be gone before she was up, so Josie didn't think much about it. After taking a few bites of her food she looked up at her Mommy sweetly. "Mommy…"
"You're going to school Josephine." Callie cut in before Josie could ask. Just about everyday for the last three weeks Josie has asked if she can skip school to sit with Conner. She and Arizona wanted to keep things for Josie as normal as possible, so they always said no. She could sit with him after school. The pout on her daughter's lips, Josie had mastered each of her mothers' pouts and used them with skill on Callie and Arizona; and knowing that Arizona was just about to take Conner into surgery almost made Callie cave in, but what good would it do Josie to sit in the waiting room all day? No, it would be better if she went to school. "Isn't today the day you dissect a piglet in lab? You've been talking about it ever since you found out you were accepted into A.P. Honors Biology."
"Oh yeah!" Josie said as a touch of excitement lit up her eyes. "I get to cut today!"
"You spend to much time with Christina." Callie teased with a shake of her head. "Finish your breakfast, mija, your uniforms are clean and hanging in the laundry room."
Josie had been so excited and distracted by her pending assignment in bio lab that she forgot her phone at home, so she didn't get any of the messages or texts from her mothers telling her to go straight home after school rather then going to the hospital. When they didn't get a reply from Josie, Callie decided she was going to pick her up, but then there was an accident and both she and Arizona were pulled into emergency surgeries. Conner had gone into kidney failure that morning and even though Arizona did everything she possibility could it was just a domino effect from there. Bailey had to actually force Arizona to stop when it was clear that Conner was gone. They didn't want to tell Josie over the phone. They didn't want to pull her out of school. Mark was waiting for her at the house and Callie and Arizona would leave as soon as they got out of their respective surgeries. They three of them would tell her face-to-face so they could be there for her. But Josie never got their messages, she didn't know to head home, so as Arizona was scrubbing out, Josie was making her way up to Conner's room.
"Oh, Doctor Robbins." One of the residents said, startled to see the head of Peds in the scrub room. "I thought you were on the Peds floor."
"I just finished with the little girl from the boating accident this afternoon." Arizona replied.
"Did it go well?" The resident asked.
Arizona nodded. She wasn't in the mood for small talk. She needed to get home to her daughter.
"Good." The resident offered a sad smile. "Will you give Josie my condolences? I saw her walk in as the elevator doors closed."
Arizona's eyes widened. "Josie's here?"
The resident nodded.
"Damnit!" Arizona said as she took off at a run.
Teddy was more then surprised to see Josie heelying down the hallway on the Peds floor. She was at the nurse's desk writing notes on a Peds patient she had with Karev. As soon as she saw her niece's face she knew that Josie didn't know. She rushed towards the girl as the young blonde went right for Conner's now empty room. "Josie don't!"
But she was to late. Josie walked into Conner's room to find it empty, the bed stripped, the monitors' dark, and his things were gone. She stood there just looking at the empty room. It was like he'd never been there, as if he'd been wiped clean, sanitized away.
"Josie." Teddy said as she came up behind her best friend's daughter, her wife's goddaughter, and her niece. "Josie, honey."
"Where's Conner?" Josie asked numbly. "Did they take him down for tests? Is he in surgery again? Is he having dialysis?"
Teddy put her arm around Josie and slowly turned her away from the room, leading her out into the hall. "Come on honey. Lets go find your Moms."
"No." Josie said in a flat, hushed tone as she pulled away from Teddy. She looked at the tall, slender blonde, and blinked once. This wasn't happening. This wasn't real. Just a few seconds ago she was pumped, she was excited, she wanted to tell Conner all about how cool it was to dissect a fetal pig. Now she stood in the hallway of the Peds floor of her family's hospital with her aunt looking at her with sad, sympatric eyes. "No! Where's Conner! Where is he!"
"Josie." Arizona said as she came through the doors. Her heart shattered when she heard her daughter's raised voice before she even opened the doors.
Josie spun around. The look in her Mama's eyes said it all. He was gone. He died. She was at school laughing and feeling great about rocking her assignment, and Conner was here dying. "No! NO!"
"Baby." Arizona said softly as she came closer to her daughter. "I'm so sorry. We did everything…"
"You were supposed to save him!" Josie screamed at her mother. They were drawing looks from the people around them but Josie didn't care. "You were supposed to be gods and pull off the impossible!"
Tears welled in Arizona's eyes as she reached out for her baby girl, but Josie jerked away from her. "Josie, baby, I'm so sorry."
"You killed him!" Josie yelled as she backed away from her mother after pushing her aunt out of the way. "You let him die! You were supposed to save his life! You let him die! I hate you! I hate you!"
The sound of her daughter's voice, the words she was screaming, sent Callie running down the hall as if she were running to a code blue. She came around the corner just in time to see Josie knock Arizona's attempt at touching her away. She watched as if it were slow motion as Josie turned on her heel and ran, only snapping out of it when her fifteen and a half year old brushed past her, knocking into the wall. "Josephine!"
"Josie!" Arizona yelled as tears rolled down her pale cheek. "Josephine!"
Josie had to get out of there. She had to get away from them. She heard her mothers calling after her. She heard Teddy called out her name. She heard her Uncle Alex, and her Aunt Miranda as she barreled past them, but she didn't stop.
Michael Karev was on his way inside to see his Dad when Josie came running out of the hospital. Since the day his mother brought him to Seattle to meet his father when he was four, the same day he'd met four and half year old Josie, the two had been close friends, best friends. But he didn't need to be one of her best friends to see how upset she was. "Josie, what's wrong?" He asked as he stepped in front of her.
Josie looked at Michael and blinked twice before saying, "I need to get out of here. I need to get away."
"Ok." Michael said without question or hesitation. If she needed to run from whatever had her so upset, and he had a pretty good idea what that was, he'd help her run. He took hold of her arm as he scanned the parking lot. Spotting his Dad's Range Rover he nodded to himself. "Ok, lets go." He lead her over to the SUV and used the spare key his Dad had given him to unlock the door and helped her in before hopping into the driver's seat. His Dad had started teaching him to drive a year ago so he had no problem backing out of the space and leaving the parking lot. As he drove away from the hospital he watched Josie closely out of the corner of his eye. She seemed numb, in shock, while tears just poured down her face. He wasn't sure what to do so he just drove. It wasn't until she told him Conner died that he knew what to do.
"I can't find her anywhere." Callie said as she joined her wife and their friends. It had taken Callie and Arizona several seconds before they were able to move after Josie ran off. Josie had never blow up like that they were both in shock. By the time they were able to shake it off and go after her she was gone.
"Where could she have gone in just a few seconds?" Arizona asked as she tried not to tremble out of fear, concern, and anger.
"She knows this hospital better then any of us." Teddy said gently.
Addison nodded in agreement. "She just needs space. She needs to process what just happened."
"Who needs space?" Kepner asked as she walked up looking for Addison.
"Have you seen my kid?" Callie asked gruffly.
Kepner frowned at the tone of the older doctor's tone. "Josie? Yeah, I saw her outside with Michael Karev as I was coming in. They were leaving in Alex's car."
"They're fifteen!" Arizona yelled. "They can't drive!"
Callie decided not to mention that her father had been teaching Josie to drive since she was twelve. Instead she put her arm around Arizona's shoulders. She could feel her wife relax almost instantly. Mark on the other hand.
"Karev!" Mark barked when he saw the younger man walking down the hall. He stormed over to the other doctor, shoving him into a wall. "Where the hell did your kid take my kid?"
Alex blinked. "Dude, what the hell are you talking about?"
With Callie's hand in her own, Arizona was a lot calmer as she explained. "Josie found out about Conner and took off. April said she saw her and Michael get into your car and drive off, but she's wrong, isn't she. Michael couldn't just take off with your car could he?"
"He can drive and he has keys." Alex said as he pulled out his phone to call his son. "Dude, where are you? This isn't cool, man. Call me."
Michael had ignored his phone each time it rang. The only things on his mind was driving and getting Josie to someone who he knew could help. With no traffic Seattle to Portland took a little over three hours. Michael made it in two. Pulling up in front of the apartment complex he helped her out of the Range Rover. She'd told him what happened, about finding Conner's room empty and her Mom telling her he was dead, but that was it. The rest of the time she just sat there silently crying. With his arm around her waist they headed into the building and up to the top floor. He used his key to let himself in and then called out, "Mom! Mom!"
Izzie Stevens was more then a little surprised to hear her son's voice. He was in Seattle with his Dad, or at least he was supposed to be in Seattle with his Dad. She and Alex shared custody of Michael and because Alex, with Arizona's help, had been able to get Michael into the same upscale private school Josie went too, Michael spent most of the school year with his Dad. Izzie drove up to spend weekends with him, or he came to Portland to spend holidays and breaks with her. So yeah, Izzie was more then a little surprised as she stepped out of her kitchen and into her living room to not only find her son but Josie Torres as well. "Michael? What are you doing here?"
"Help her?" Michael asked, his hazel eyes begging his mother to do something. "Please Mom. Help her."
"What happened?" Izzie asked as she rushed over to the two teens.
Michael told her about Josie and Conner and about Conner dying. He told her about finding Josie running out of the hospital and her asking him to get her away. It meant a lot to Izzie to hear her son tell her that the only thing he could think of to do to help his friend was to bring Josie to her. "Michael, do her parents know where she is? Does you Dad know where you are?"
Michael shook his head. "I think he's been calling but I didn't want to be on the phone while I was driving. I don't even a learning permit yet and I was on the high way."
"We'll talk about that later." Izzie said firmly. "Go put on some water for tea, make the tea strong and sweet." Turning to Josie, who she'd walked to the couch and sat down, Izzie smiled. "It'll be ok, sweetie. I know it doesn't seem like it right now. Right now everything feels like it's wrapped up in prickly cotton balls, all numb and stinging. But it will be ok."
"Michael where the hell are you?" Alex yelled into his cell without bothering to look at the caller id.
"He's with me." Izzie said. "So is Josie and they're fine. I'll have them both home in a couple of hours."
Alex sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "He drove her all the way to Portland? I'm going to kill him."
"He wanted to help his friend, Alex." Izzie said calmly. "So he brought her to someone who understands, someone he trusts. You know how much he cares about her."
"Is she alright?" Alex asked. She was his goddaughter and he loved her. He was actually more worried about her then about Michael taking off with her. Alex knew his son would do anything for Josie, he trusted Michael with her, but Josie was in bad shape. He wanted to see her for himself just as much as her folks did.
Izzie sighed softly. "She was in shock when they got here but she's doing alright now. She isn't laid out on my bathroom floor or anything, so that's good. We're going to talk and I'm going to bring them home. Let Callie know, ok?"
"Yeah, ok." Alex said. "I'm still kicking his ass. Tell him to call me."
When Izzie walked back into the living room from her bedroom she found her son sitting beside his best friend and for a moment it made her think of herself and George, and then of herself and Alex. She hoped that Michael and Josie had a better out come then she'd had with her best friend and the man she never stopped loving. "Mikey, go for walk, and call your Dad."
"Mom." Michael started to protest.
"Go." Izzie said firmly. "Trust me, Mikey, just go, I'll call you to come back in a few."
Michael looked between his Mom and Josie and then nodded.
Once they were alone Izzie sat beside Josie, just where he son had been a moment ago, and smiled at the girl as she brushed at Josie's hair. Josie had her hands wrapped around a mug of tea and was looking a little better. The strong, sweet, hot tea had shaken her out of her shock a bit. Izzie held out a bar of chocolate to help a little more. "Eat some of this. It'll help."
Josie nodded and took the chocolate. "Thanks."
"Feeling better?" Izzie asked the younger blonde.
"Yes, thank you." Josie replied as she nibbled on a square of chocolate while staring into the depths of her tea.
"Have you ever heard about Denny Duquette?" Izzie asked after a few minutes passed and a little more color returned to Josie's cheeks.
Josie looked up. "The guy the clinic's named after?"
Izzie nodded. "Yeap, him."
"Not really." Josie admitted.
"Well," Izzie said as she rubbed circles on Josie's back. "Denny was a heart patient who came to Seattle Grace needing a heart transplant. I was an intern, he was my patient, and I feel in love with him."
"Portland!" Callie yelled in the middle of her living room as she glared at Alex. "Mi hija esta en Portland! Con Izzie Stevens de toda la gentel!"
Alex looked passed the angry ortho surgeon, who continued to rant in Spanish, to a quietly fuming peds surgeon. "What did she say?"
"I said!" Callie barked, causing Alex to look at her again. "What the hell is my daughter doing in fucking Portland with Izzie fucking Stevens?"
"More or less." Arizona added.
"Michael took her to someone who could understand how she feels." Alex replied. "Iz said she'd bring them home soon. She wanted a chance to talk to Josie first. He took her to Iz because of Denny."
"So after all that he died because of a blood clot?" Josie asked as tears rolls down her cheeks. She hadn't really stopped since the hospital; they just lessened or worsened depending on her state of mind.
Izzie nodded as she handed Josie some water. "It formed on his sutures and traveled up to his brain, causing a stroke. It's rare, but it happens."
"Chemo was suppose to make Conner better." Josie said sadly. "It was suppose to help keep the cancer from coming back. Instead it destroyed his liver, and his kidneys."
"And then it just went down hill from there." Izzie said knowingly. "I know. Before Mikey was born I had cancer, and I knew a young woman who chemo was suppose to save, but it killed her too."
Josie looked at Izzie for a few seconds before blurting out. "You're twenties sucked." Then she covered her mouth in embarrassment. "Oh I'm so sorry!"
Izzie laughed. "It's ok, you're right, my twenties did kind of suck sometimes."
Josie relaxed when Izzie laughed. She was quiet for a few moments and then asked, "What did you do? When he died?"
"I broke." Izzie said honestly. "I laid down beside his body and couldn't move. I broke, and my friends were there to pick up the pieces. They were there in the room with me, George, Meredith, Christina, even your Mom, and Alex. Alex literally picked me up off the bed so they could take his body. I spent days laying on Mere's bathroom floor in a prom dress, weeks walking around in a fog, baking. But, eventually, the grief and the sadness passed and I picked myself up, and I went on with my life, and things got better. I got to love a wonderful man and I got to have a wonderful son, and things got better."
"Do you still think about him, Denny, do you still remember him?" Josie asked.
Izzie nodded. "Yeah, I do, and now it doesn't hurt to remember him. Denny was a part of my life, just like Conner will always be a part of yours."
It was well past midnight, nearly one in the morning, when the front door creaked open. Both Callie and Arizona jumped to their feet. Arizona's eyes were red and swollen from crying. Part of her understood that Josie was just lashing out because of the flood of emotion she was being washed away in, but a bigger part of her was totally crushed by her daughter's words. Never; never had one of her children ever told her they hated her. In that moment Arizona couldn't breath, her heart wouldn't beat, her whole world stopped spinning. It was hard enough on Arizona to loose Conner because he was her patient, but to have her daughter blame her for it, it just made it so much worse.
Stepping into the house Josie looked at her mothers as they looked at her. She stood at the door for several long seconds. For the first time in her life she was unsure about what to do when it came to her mothers. She felt awful about what she said to her Mama, about running away the way she did. A few seconds passed, then Josie saw her Mama take a tentative step towards her, and that's all it took. She rushed to her Mama and cried when Arizona wrapped her arms about her and held her for dear life.
Callie let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding when she watched her wife engulf their daughter in her arms as Josie cried. Turning to the tall blonde standing by her door she gave Izzie a warm smile, but the smile faded a little when Michael peeked around his mother.
"Aunt Callie…"
"Don't Aunt Callie me Michael." Callie warned. "I appreciate what you were doing and I'm grateful that it helped, but you shouldn't have helped her run from us like that." Slightly scolding brown eyes lingered on the boy for a few more seconds before Callie looked at Izzie with a much softer expression. "Thank you Izzie."
"Your welcome." Izzie replied. "I'd better get him home."
Josie wasn't aware of anything but being held by her Mama and the gentle whispered words that Arizona was saying to her to calm her down. She clung to her Mama a little longer before finally saying, "I'm so sorry Mama. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry. I know you did everything you could, and I don't hate you, I could never hate you, Mama. I'm so sorry."
"I know, deep down I knew, you didn't mean it baby." Arizona said as she pulled back a little so she could hold her daughter's face in her hands.
"I hurt you." Josie said softly as fresh tears welled in her eyes. She could see it in her Mama's eyes. She could see that her careless words had hurt her Mama. "I'm sorry, Mama. I didn't mean…"
"I know baby girl." Arizona said as she kissed her daughter's forehead. "I know." She repeated before kissing her nose, and then pulling her close for another hug.
Callie walked over to her wife and their daughter and gently ran her hand down Josie's hair before resting it on her daughter's back. She needed physical contact with her little girl to easy her mind, to really realize that Josie was ok. Or at least home, and safe, because Callie didn't think she was ok, not just yet she wasn't. Her thoughts kept drifting back to how she felt when George died, so she knew Josie was far from ok.
For the first time since she was thirteen and watched IT at a slumber party, Josie slept snuggled between her mothers in their bed. She had no choice but to sleep. She had been drained physically as well as emotionally. Like her Mama, when her emotions washed over her like crashing waves against the sand, Josie had nightmares. Sleeping with her mothers gave them a chance to sooth away the bad dreams before they could fully take hold, but the next night Josie woke up three times in a cold sweat. She hadn't gotten to say good-bye, and she hadn't let Conner say good-bye. Each time she'd woken up she'd reached for her phone to send him a text, but then just before sending it she realized he wasn't there to get the text, and she'd cry herself back to sleep.
Her lack of sleep and her lack of appetite were really starting to worry her parents. They were hoping that Conner's funeral would help Josie start to heal and move on. Josie was sitting on her bed, dressed in a black dress and stockings, with Conner's necklace in her hands. She was running her finger over the cross; debating on wither she should put it on. Since Conner put it on her she hadn't taken it off other then to shower, and until now she hadn't hesitated to put it back on afterwards.
"Hey pea." Mark said as he knocked on his daughter's open bedroom door.
Josie looked up and wiped the tears off her cheeks as she smiled weakly at her Daddy. Ever since she was a baby he'd called her his sweet pea, or pea for short.
"You should wear it." Mark said as he walked over and sat on the edge of Josie's bed. He took the necklace from her hands and put it around her neck. "He'd want you too." He gave Josie a loving smile before leaning in and kissing her forehead. "Are you ready to go?"
Josie shrugged. "I guess so."
"You need to go, Josie." Mark said softly as he brushed her hair off her shoulder. "You need to say good-bye."
"I should have done that at the hospital." Josie replied as she looked up into her Dad's eyes. "Mommy should have let me go to the hospital that day. I should have been there." Her emotions were on a roller coaster. One minute she was angry with her Mommy for not letting her skip school the day Conner died. Then she was angry with herself for not letting Conner say what he wanted to say all those times he tried to say it. She felt guilty for not being there when Conner died, for being at school enjoying herself while her Mama fought to save his life. Her Aunt Miranda had told her about what happened in the OR and that just made Josie feel even worse about how she'd behaved that day.
"Everything that happened; happened the way it was meant too." Mark said. "You can't keep dwelling on it, Josie."
Josie sighed. "I know."
Mark didn't know what else to say. He, Callie and Arizona had been talking themselves blue in the face, but it was up to Josie to listen, and to deal with her emotions. So instead of repeating himself for the hundredth time he just pulled his daughter into his arms and held her.
"I'm not really sure what to say." Josie said softly as she stood in front of everyone. She wasn't really looking at anyone, she just stood there, the Rosary her Abuela have her clutched in her left hand. "Mrs. Davis said I didn't have to say anything publicly, I could say good-bye privately, but everyone was sharing memories and I couldn't stop remembering my own. Conner forced me to listen to the Beatles, because he knew I'd like them, even though my Aunt Teddy had been trying for years to get me to listen to them. Conner's puppy dog eyes were better, plus he high jacked my iPod. That was ok though, because I forced him to listen to show tunes. He liked it when I sang, and I knew that when I did he forgot in the moment to feel like crap, so I'd sing. I got him to laugh by singing and play out Diva's Lament from Spamalot, and I even sang all the songs from Wicked to him once during a really long chemo treatment. We liked doing a lot of stuff together, we liked just spending time together, but Conner really liked when I sang. So, I thought I'd sing, if that's ok."
Callie and Arizona sat in the pew watching as their little girl sang For Good with tears rolling down the faces. Even Mark was teary eyed. At the cemetery Josie was left alone to say good-bye. Her mothers watched as Piper gave her an envelope and then hugged her.
"Are you ok baby?" Arizona asked when Josie finally made her way over to them.
"Can we just go home?" Josie asked.
Callie nodded. "Of course baby. Come on."
"You have to read it." Sophie said as she sat with her sister on Josie's bed. "You need to finally let him say good-bye."
"Will you stay with me?" Josie asked as she looked up at her sister who flew home just to be there for her during Conner's funeral.
Sophie nodded and moved a little closer.
Josie,
You wouldn't let me say good-bye, you wouldn't let me say much of anything when it came to me dying, and I get it, I do. I don't want to face it either. I guess if you're reading this we didn't have much choice but to face it. I only have a couple of things to say, and I'm going to say them. I'm really glad I sucked at Spanish. I really love the taste of Dr. Pepper lip-gloss. Even manly men can like musicals. So many places, so many charms. My girlfriend's totally hot, and she's going to be an amazing person, a rockstar, and a badass surgical goddess. I was trippin' on sunshine. I was happy. My life was good. I want that for you now Josie. Be happy. Live a wonderful life. Thank you for being in mine.
I love you.
Conner.
Her time with Conner almost felt like a dream but the pain of missing him let her know it had been real. And despite how much it hurt, how much she missed him, she wouldn't go back and change a thing. He was a part of her life the way George O'Malley had been a part of her Mommy's, the way Denny had been for Doctor Stevens, the way her Aunt Teddy's friend who died on 9-11 had been a part of her life, even the way her Uncle Tim had been part of her Mama's. Her heart had its first scar and she would wear it like a badge of honor, just like the women she looked up too did with their heart scars. Josie would always remember Conner, and a part of her would always love him. You never really get over your first love.