Hey Kella Kella!! Fancy meeting you here!

Woah, it's like... kismet! Howdy, howdy!

Now, I really don't mind saying so but I think our dialogue in this chap is pretty badass, huh?

Isn't it always?

Well, yeah... but in this chap in particular. I tots think it owns the dialogue of a certain S. Meyer, who owns the rights to Twilight and its characters

Obviously. I mean how did SMeyer go a whole 4.5 books without swearing once. That's like... sacrilegious!

Dude, I don't even know how I've made it this fucking long without doing it ;)

I, know right? But how about props to the magical goodness that is, I'm sure... RobWard's junk. Even though all of us were INCREDIBLY disappointed that we didn't get a peek in Little Ashes.

Hey, as long as he keeps wearing those tight pants... I'll be a happy camper

See, just like B in this fic, I want MORE. Glad I'm writing her... I can get my craving for NakedWard out in the open. It's kinda therapeutic.

I thought you were all about towelward?

I'm all about (fill in whatever)Ward. But my fave is KelWard - the Ward that's irrevocably in love with me. :)

Lol. you deserve it kels, cause you're awesome to the max :)

Whatevs. No I'm not. You totally own this shizz and by shizz I don't mean characters or story.. Though your EPOV is the best in all the lands. Hey, how about we let these peeps get to the good stuff?

Yeah, sounds like a plan. 'Cept your BPOV is like... bomb. Completely awesome. I only feed off of your greatness. Don't make me go Bette Middler on your ass... :P

EPOV

Everything was alright... everything was good. So why, then, didn't I feel as happy as I thought I would?

I woke up to Bella's hair in my face, and her legs wedged in between mine. This was it... this was me in bed with the girl I love, but something still didn't feel real. I sighed and shifted against Bella, pulling her tighter into my chest. She exhaled softly, and I could feel her breath spread across my chest. She was still mine, I told myself, she was still completely her and completely mine. And she loved me. She said she loved me, and fuck if that wasn't the one thing I had been living and breathing for.

I kissed her forehead gently, and she started to stir.

"Morning, Baby."

She blinked a few times then smiled up at me. "Hey."

I leaned over and kissed her softly, not really knowing what else to do. I wanted her to fix me; to fix it whatever the fuck it was, but in exactly the same moment, I wanted to push her away. I wanted to push it away. I was completely confused.

Bella pushed back on my shoulder and I fell to my back with her on top of me.

"I love you," She said, peppering kisses on my chin and down my neck. "Edward, I love you."

I shut my eyes and kept my hands steady on her sides. "I love you, too."

Fuck this was weird. I didn't know how to react to her when she said that. I know, I know, just say it back you butt fuck, but hell. Did you even stop and look at when she said it to me? She was angry with me; she thought I was going to leave. It didn't matter to me that I wouldn't, or that she was completely fucking insane most of the time, she had probably said it just to get me to stay with her. She'd said it a million and one times last night: she was terrified of being alone. And I couldn't blame her. I would have done exactly the same thing, were I in her shoes. She deserved better than that. What the fuck was I doing to my girl?

I felt her hands dip into the top of my boxers and my hands shot out to stop her. Bella looked up at me, her brow furrowed. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head and pushed her off of me as I stood up. "Nothing... nothing. I was thinking that maybe I'd meet up with my parents. I haven't seen much of them." I grabbed my shorts and threw them on.

She sat up, pulling the sheet up to cover her tits. "Right... yeah. Um, did you want me to go, or...?"

"You can't right?" I said, tossing a shirt over my head. "Your boot? It's probably still waterlogged."

"Oh," She said, slouching a little. "Okay. I'll meet up with you later?"

I went over to her, and kissed her forehead. "Of course, Baby. I love you."

I turned to walk away, but heard her murmur,"I love you, too." as I walked away.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. My parents were definitely not the people I wanted to see right now. Fuck that, I wanted Bella. But I needed to figure my shit out, and staring at little blue fish wasn't gonna help. My girl wasn't a fish.

BPOV

What the fuck had happened between the time we got back to the room and this morning? Edward was acting all kinds of pre-menstrual. I tried shaking it off as I got dressed. None of it mattered; he loved me and I loved him and I'd actually fucking said it. Repeatedly.

After I'd thrown on one of the 50 bikinis Alice had packed for me and a pair of shorts I took the elevator down to the main floor and hobbled out to the beach to relax. I didn't know what his problem was, but I hoped he'd give me a hint at lunch today so we could work whatever his shit was out, together.

I laid out on the beach turning over every 20 minutes to burn evenly. After a couple of hours I couldn't take it any more and walked slowly back up to the lobby. Great, I was going to have a light tan and burn but what about the rest of my leg that had been covered? What do you call that; it's not a farmer's tan. Maybe getting some Gimp Sun?

"Bella!" I heard Carlisle's voice shout merrily from down the hall. I spun around sighing with relief. Thank god, Edward.

Only, not so much. As Carlisle and Esme moved closer, I noticed a particular bronze-haired boy missing from the equation. I smiled, hugging Esme lightly. "Hi sweetie. How was your morning?" She asked, taking a step back closer to Carlisle.

"Oh it was good. A little one-on-one time with the beach. How was snorkeling? Did the three of you have fun?"

Esme's eyebrows creased. "The three of us?"

I nodded. "Yeah, Edward said that he hadn't spent much time with you two and he missed you guys. He left really early to meet up with you for snorkling."

Carlisle shook his head. "Maybe he missed our boat. He must've gone later; we haven't seen him all day."

"Oh," I replied trying to hide my confusion. Why would Edward lie to me?

"Have you eaten yet sweetie? We were just about to get lunch."

I mustered up the biggest smile I could and nodded. "Lunch sounds great."

Two hours and a sandwich later, I was wandering back up to our room. I was too fucking tired for all this. I had finally been able to admit that I loved him, and what's the first thing he does? Turns around and lies to me about who he's hanging out with. He could have just fucking said he needed a day to clear his head. Shit, I was there last night too and saying it had been an intense and emotionally grueling evening would be understating it a shit ton.

Regardless, I was exhausted. The sun had drained me, and all the new fucking bullshit that Edward was evidently desperate to continue on, after I thought everything had been cleared up left me wanting nothing more than a nap. I opened the door only to find Edward fast asleep on the bed. I walked over to where he was laying and kicked off my flip flop. He looked so peaceful. And if he needed a fucking day away from Bella the shrew to make him right as rain again, then I would never fault him for it. I curled up beside him, lifting his arm that was stretched out on the bed and laid it over my waist. He gripped my skin and pulled me closer. I grinned at the reflex. My lips lightly brushed over his as I snuggled into his chest.

"I love you." I whispered as I closed my eyes and fell asleep in the only place I would ever want to be - his arms.

EPOV

It made more sense once I walked away from her.

All of it.

Not just some of it, but absolutely all of it.

As I paced around the lobby of the hotel, I realized that every moment I spent without Bella was a wasted one. It didn't make sense now, that we'd spent so much time apart, and so much time without each other. But as I continued to fall deeper and deeper, I realized that my life without Bella was a whole lot of nothing. She was my life, my hope; my reason for being. She was everything that I could ever want or need. So why the fuck was I questioning why or how she told me she loved me?

All that mattered was that she did; that she had said it. It was everything that I had wanted since the moment I realized I loved her. She told me she loved me, and here I was, away from her and definitely not where I said I would be. She'd probably be pissed if she knew. She was probably pissed as it was. I ran a hand through my hair, then headed back up to our room. But she wasn't there. Of course she wasn't there; why would she wait for me? I was acting like a miserable shit fuck. I crawled into our bed and buried my face in the sheets so I could smell Bella on them. It would have to do until I got her again.

I woke up a while later to a set of hands pushing against my chest. "No... no.... stop..."

My brow furrowed as I looked down at Bella. Her legs were moving against mine, now, and her face was scrunched up into a tight pucker. She was breathing heavily and she was whimpering softly. I leaned in and kissed her forehead and cheeks.

"Baby? Baby, it's me... it's just me."

She gasped and pushed against me, her eyes still snapped shut. "Stop... don't... don't..."

At that point she was starting to pant, and she was freaking me out. I crushed her back to my chest, but she tried to push me away. The thing was, though, I wasn't going to let her go. "Bella... Bella... Baby... wake up, love...Sweetheart?"

I kissed the top of her head as she struggled against me, then a hopeless sob wretched from her body. "Bella!" I said, a little louder. I was scared shitless, and I just wanted this to end. "Bella... Baby, please!"

She gasped into my chest a few more times before I heard a sharp intake of breath. "Edward?" I kissed the top of her head again, and she wrapped her arms around me.

"Edward... Edward... I love you... so much... I love you."

I pulled away a little and took her face in my hands. "I love you, Bella. I love you. You know that. What's wrong?"

Her eyes shifted away from me, "It's nothing, right? Only a bad dream."

I kissed her forehead, then traced the tip of my nose up the bridge of hers, "Are you sure? Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. I'm fine. Let's just... sit, okay?"

I nodded into her hair, and kissed her again. "It's fine."

"Thanks for, you know... being here."

I laughed and kissed her forehead. "Of course I'm here. I wouldn't want to be anywhere but with you."

Yeah, I know how hypocritical that sounded. But it was how I felt; it was always how I felt. I'm just too stupid to realize shit sometimes.

"You sure? Because, Edward--" I pushed my lips down to hers. She was gonna say stupid shit that neither one of us wanted to hear. It would fuck us up, and I didn't want to let that happen. She moaned into my mouth and I felt her hand go into my hair. I pulled away and let my forehead brush against hers.

"How are we gonna tell them?" I asked, my eyes closed.

"Tell who?"

"Our friends."

"Oh, them." She said with a small laugh. I felt her adjust to get closer, so I pulled her in the rest of the way. "Well, we don't have to."

"Oh?"

She giggled, "Yeah. We could say that you moved away or something... then you could... umm... OH! You could be a girl!"

I laughed sadly. My girl was losing her mind. "A girl? Bella."

"Hey! I think you'd make a pretty girl. We could put you in Navy. That'd be cute."

I kissed the skin just below her eye. She had a patch of faint freckles there that I loved. "Baby, then you'd be a lesbian."

"Oh, no, honey. You'd still have all of your... bits."

"So I get to keep my cock, but I have to wear a dress?" This shit didn't make sense.

"Mhm. It'll be fun."

"Or," I said, trying to get the image of me in a dress out of my mind. "I could just hold you, and touch you whenever the fuck I want."

She hummed contentedly, "I want that. You have no idea how badly I want that."

"Me too. After we get that out of the way, I'm never letting you go. Not for anything." And it was the truth. I wouldn't. She needed me and I needed her.

"Good. I wouldn't want you to."

I leaned down and kissed her again, letting my lips melt into hers. This was perfection; this was my home.

This was where I wanted to be... always.

BPOV

Edward always had the right thing to say, always; even when he wasn't saying anything at all. We spent what was left of the afternoon making up for spending the first half of the day apart. His lips would roam from mine down to my neck and collar bone but eventually wind up viciously attacking my mouth sooner rather than later. And I enjoyed every fucking minute of it. I could spend the rest of my life doing this and only this and be perfectly content.

All I needed was him.

He had discarded his shirt and was running his hands up and down my sides when the phone rang. "Fuck..." He breathed against my lips. The ringing kept going and going and we pushed through ignoring it completely. It finally stopped and we both sighed as we picked up the pace, grinding against each others' hips. But then the ringing started again. Edward pulled his mouth away and rested his forehead on mine. "Shit." I laughed quietly and nodded in agreement. He lifted himself up off of me and reached for the phone.

"Hello?"

"Oh, hi mom."

My breathing hitched.

"No, um.. I was asleep. I didn't hear you knocking." He said looking pointedly at me. I just shrugged; I hadn't heard a thing either. "Bella? No, I'm not sure where she is. I'll go grab her. Are you sure she's not down there?" He paused briefly running a hand along his jaw.

I sat up and peeked over his body towards the alarm clock. Shit, six fucking thirty. We were half an hour late to dinner.

"Yeah mom, she's probably down in the lobby somewhere. I'll go look for her. Yeah, okay... love you too. Bye." He said hanging up the phone and turning towards me.

"I hate lying to her."

I put a hand on his forearm. "I'm sorry... but we leave tomorrow. We'll tell them when we get home. First thing in the door and 'guess what Esme and Carlisle! I've been blowing your son for 4 weeks. Thanks for having us share a room on our trip, it was really convenient.' I joked lightly. He laughed and rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair.

"Well come on you little hornball. Let's get down to dinner."

We got dressed in record time, a little nicer than usual since it was our last night on the island. Edward had put on some dress pants and a white button down shirt and I threw on a purple tube-top dress that Alice had snuck into the purchases from the trip to Seattle.

Edward's fingers tugged at his hair as I stepped out of the bathroom. "What?"

He shook his head as I made my way over to him, grabbing the keycard and handing it to him to throw in his pockets. "Nothing. Just sometimes I can't get over how fucking beautiful my girl is."

I laughed a little and bit my lip, looking down at the floor.

"Hey." He said nudging my chin up with his fingers. I looked up at him and all I saw was love. That was me and Edward a big fucking sunburnt blob of love. "You are, and I love you." He said bending down a little to swipe his lips against mine.

His hand lowered from my face and wrapped around my hand. "For the record, I love you too." I replied unable to keep the stupid dorky grin off my face. His smile widened and I got a glimpse of his amazing fucking teeth. Just thinking about how they dug into my neck and shoulder gave me chills. "Ready Freddy?" He asked opening the door. I nodded and we locked the door behind us. We walked down the hall and rode the elevator down to the lobby hand in hand.

"Bella! There you are!" I heard Esme shout from across the bar. She hopped off her stood and dashed towards me enveloping me in a hug. "Oh hunny, we were worried. I thought you had gone back up to the room -- wait where's Edward? Didn't he find you?"

I turned my neck around but didn't see him. "Hm, weird. Yeah he found me. I was just kind of roaming around, enjoying our last day here and all. He must have gone to the bathroom or something."

"Well, he can find us then - as long as he's here somewhere. Let's go sit down."

We walked over to our table and sat down. One again with Carlisle and Esme on one side and me and what would be Edward's seat, on the other.

Carlisle ordered our drinks for all four of us, by the time Edward decided to grace us with his presence. He was holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand, the other hand was balled in a fist.

"Sorry I'm late everyone. Mom, these are for you. I'm sorry I'm really late." He said handing her the beautiful bunch of wildflowers. She stood up and gave him a hug. "Aw, sweetie. They're beautiful, thank you." She responded giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before sitting down. He took his usual spot beside me and I felt his hand slide onto my lap. I hovered my hand over his and his fist opened as he placed what felt like a small flower in my palm. I transferred it to my other hand, and entwined my fingers with his. As everyone held up their menus debating what to order I pulled the flower from under the table. It was beautiful. About 3 shades of purple fading into white. I stuck it in my hair just above my left ear and looked at him, smiling. His face turned to look at me and he smiled. I mouthed 'I love you' and he pulsed his hand in mine murmuring back, "me too".

"Hm? What was that Edward?" Esme's voice said over the menus.

Edward placed his down on the table. "Oh, Bella was just saying she might get the seafood risotto, and I said me too."

"Oh, where is that on here? It does sound good." Carlisle helped point it out and all three of us decided to get it, with Carlisle settling on the seared mahi mahi with vegetable puree. The same jackass waiter that had been a thorn in our side since day one appeared with a shit eating grin on his face and peered down at me. "Is everyone ready to order this evening?" Once again, Carlisle ordered for all of us; however the waiter's eyes didn't look anywhere but at me and I pretended not to notice, choosing instead to fixate on my peach iced tea. I could feel Edward trying to stay calm as he scratched my palm and ran his finger tips up and down my fingers.

"Miss?" The waiter asked. My head shot up, glaring at him. "Hm?"

"Are you sure there isn't anything else I can get for you this evening?"

I pursed my lips. "No, I'm alright. I have everything I need." He nodded, hopefully conceding defeat. He confirmed our order with Carlisle before leaving our table.

"That young man does seem very taken with you Bella. Are you sure he wasn't the boy you've spent the week with?" Esme asked after taking a sip of her water.

I nodded. "Yes Esme, I'm positive that wasn't him."

Edward stood abruptly, his jaw clenched as his eyes looked over towards the bar area. "Excuse me a moment, restroom calls." Esme and Carlisle nodded and he walked towards the facilities but past them, directly towards the group of waiters huddled around the bartender.

EPOV

This shitfuck was going to pay.

In case it wasn't obvious the other four thousand times my girl turned him down, it would be this time when my fist met his face.

Pleased to fucking meet you.

I went to the bathroom to take a leak, cause after all that was what I was supposed to be doing. But then, as I was leaving I saw the miserable assbitch cackling like an old hen with some of his fucktard friends. But what I heard as I got closer to them stopped me dead in my tracks.

"I had her begging for it, man!" He said, nodding at the memory. "That chick wanted my shit so fucking bad. I guess her dipshit of a boyfriend couldn't give it to her."

"Yeah," one of the other guys laughed. "He probably couldn't even get it up."

"Don't know why," He added. "That bitch is hot."

They all turned to look... at my table. And I knew they weren't talking about my mother. Fuck, Bella. How could you?

The waiter shook his head again. "Yeah, she was asking for it for days, and finally this morning I gave it to her. What a sweet piece of ass she was, too. Nice and tight. I'd say it was her first time."

No.

Fuck.

No.

I backed away slowly, then walked in a daze out to the lobby where I slouched down into one of the arm chairs and put my head in my hands. This wasn't right... this wasn't the way it was supposed to be. This wasn't... this couldn't be... not my...

Shit.

"Edward?" I heard Bella's voice from across the lobby, but I didn't look up. Then she was in front of me, her finger tips laced in my hair. "Hey, what's wrong?"

I lifted my head slowly and looked at her. "What the fuck did I do?"

Her eyes widened in shock and she pulled away. "W-what are you talking about?"

I scoffed and stood up, "You know... you fucking... you know!"

I couldn't even get a full sentence out. I was so fucking pissed at her, and then she was looking at me with those innocent as pie fucking eyes. Bull fucking shit. I walked away from her, and I could hear her coming after me.

"Edward!" she hissed, "Get back here!" She grabbed my arm while I waited for the elevator. "What's the matter?"

The doors opened and I stepped inside. I lifted my eyebrows to her, and she followed, standing closer to me than I particularly wanted. I couldn't be too near to her now... I just couldn't. We got to our floor and she got out first, so I followed her to the room, where she made me open the door for her. Once we were both inside, I let the door slam shut and I turned to her.

"What the fuck is your problem, Bella?"

BPOV

What the fuck was MY problem? "What the fuck is MY problem Edward? You're the one fucking running around like a bipolar jackass. What's YOUR problem?"

"You! You are my problem! Did you think I was kidding, Isabella? Did you think that all that shit I said to you last night wasn't true? Because you know what? I've never put myself on the line for anyone the way that I did for you! I told you, Isabella! I fucking told you! This will fucking kill me! I swear to God, Isabella! I swear." He said with a shaky voice, his voice squeaking faintly at the end.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Of course I believed you! Do you think I would have been able to fucking say I love you if I didn't? Where the fuck is this coming from? What the hell happened in the god damn bathroom?" I yelled in frustration. Seriously, was he abducted by fucking aliens and in his place was a completely douchebaggy identical version?

"YOU FUCKING KNOW!" He yelled, shooting my death glares. "You've been dicking around with him! I fucking knew it! Fuck! I can't believe I... I thought it was real, Isabella, I really did. At least for me it was! How... how could you?"

I looked at him wide-eyed. Edward had completely fucking lost is. "What the fuck are you talking about? Of course it was real. I love you more than anything in this entire fucking world. What the fuck are you talking about me dicking around with 'him'? The only 'him' that I've been trying to get dick from at all is you."

"Bullshit. Bullshit and you know it. If you cop to it now..." his adam's apple bobbed up and down as he gulped audibly and tugged at his hair. "If you cop to it now... please, just tell me the truth."

I took a step to him and placed my hands on either side of his face, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. "Edward, seriously I have no clue what you're talking about. You're it for me. It's only your hands and mouth I want touching me and only you buried inside me. That's how it's always been." I said softly.

He glared at me with a clenched jaw and dead eyes. "Until you fucked him."

I shook my head, utterly fucking confused. "What? Edward, the only person I've even come close to fucking was you. No one else has been in this area," I said dropping my hand to motion to my lower regions, "except you."

He was huffing shallowly through his nose, his eyes unwaveringly cold. "Don't. Fucking. Lie. I swear to God, Isabella... I can't... I can't..."

"What? do you want to fucking check? Here.." I took a step back from him and wiggled out of my underwear, stepping out of them but leaving my dress on. "Fucking check. My hymen is still perfectly intact. I mean really Edward, really. You think that I would risk everything to go and fuck someone else?"

"Apparently there wasn't anything to risk. You obviously hadn't meant any of it. So what was it, Isabella? Just my dick that you wanted? Or my hands, too?"

I felt the tingle of unshed tears cross my nose and eyes. "You know I fucking love you. And you're my everything Edward. I would never DO THAT to you! You're the only person I've ever even considered sleeping with. And yeah, when it became apparent that you might want that too it made me feel bolder to push things. But I... ugh Edward, even just the thought of anyone but you being inside me... it fucking disgusts me. How could you think I would do that to you? I love you and maybe to you it means jack shit, but it means everything to me. I would never, ever do that to you. You mean too fucking much to me."

His voice was hushed as he stared down at the floor. "Of course it meant something to me. Of course it did. Do you honestly think that I would be this upset if it didn't? I just... Isabella, I wanted it to mean something to you, too. I want you to love me the way that I love you, and I don't want you to want for anything from anyone else. But... I guess, if that... If he's... fuck. Why couldn't it have been me? Why? I just... I wanted it so fucking much... " His eyes darted up to mine quickly. They were red rimmed and the tears spilled over the edges effortlessly.

I moved closer to him and returned my hands to his jaw, wiping the tears away gently. I didn't know what the fuck I did to make him so upset, but fuck all if I wasn't going to right it. "Edward... it will be you. I swear on my life, on my fucking parents grave I did not do anything with anyone aside from you. You're my life remember? My fucking reason for smiling at all anymore. You're my present and my future. Remember, telling our kids lies about being naked on Thanksgiving? And you keeping them away from my lack of culinary skills? I won't give up that fucking dream for anything. It's you I love; It's you I want... always. There's never a time that I don't want you, that I'm not thinking of you. This... all if it, even the rough parts..." I sniffled back more tears as I felt a few escape my eyes. "All of it has meant everything to me because I've done it with you. I've laughed with you, and cried, and kissed and loved... and fuck Edward the loving you part is the best. I would never in a million fucking years do anything to try and mess that up."

He sighed, resting his forehead against mine. "Isabella, I can't... I just... I want to believe you; I want that so badly, but I need some time." His voice quivered as he whispered, "I... you can't know how badly I need that to be true. So, please... I need some time."

I felt my heart rise into my throat and I gulped to keep from puking it up. He... didn't believe me? After everything? After how hard it was for me to tell him those three words the first time? I closed my eyes and sighed. "Of course. I'll wait forever, if you need me to. Can I just ask one tiny thing?"

I barely heard him as he mumbled quietly, "Anything."

I opened my eyes slowly and looked up at him. "Okay, maybe it's more than one thing," I added grinning shyly. "But, please don't write us off. Please I love you, and if you love me even a fraction of the amount that I do then we can make it through this. Don't give up on what we have, what we've built."

He rubbed his hands over his cheeks and jaw looking at me sadly. "I meant it, Isabella, I did. I meant every single word of what I said. I loved you, so fucking much... and it's like... my heart... it's bleeding, Isabella. And I want you...only you to make it stop. But I don't know if you can."

The tears streamed down my face silently, without my fucking consent and I didn't even bother trying to wipe them away as I nodded. "I'm... I'm just gonna.." I said point my thumbs back towards the door. I couldn't be here. I couldn't be in the same room as him as he used past tenses like meant it, and loved. And the last of what he said... that he didn't know if I could make it stop, make the pain go away. That fucking. killed. me.

My feet backpeddled on their own accord and I turned around walking out the door, waiting until I was downstairs and out in the air before completely sinking into the sand in a fit of sobs.

I had wrecked everything, without even doing anything.

EPOV

She just fucking... left me there.

But it was right, because clearly I didn't deserve her. Clearly, I couldn't even please my girl.

Then it hit me. She wasn't mine anymore. She'd left; she was gone. I wasn't going to get her back. How could I? Fucking... christ.

I hated this. I hated not being with her, and I hated not knowing what was going on with her. I hated that all of a sudden we were full of fucking secrets. I wanted her, I knew that. I wanted Bella, and only Bella for the rest of my life. I was hers; I'd always be hers, and I hadn't any say in the matter. I didn't fucking want one either. God, what the fuck!

I collapsed onto our bed, not bothering to get undressed or anything. I was dead. Fully and completely.

Without my Bella, I didn't exist.

BPOV

I sat there on the beach freezing my tits off as I racked my brain over the events that occurred. I felt for the flower in my hair but it was gone, just like Edward. Ugh. I thought about dinner and... oh fucking shit.

That was it. Dinner. Edward had walked by the jackass waiter. He must have... fuck. He probably said something fucking retarded to Edward to make him think... ew. I cringed at just the idea.

My blood began to boil at the jackass talking to Edward, spewing lies and fucking turning my Edward into a person who fucking hated me. Said things like, he loved me in past tense and essentially calling me a slut. I stood up and scurried as quickly as my handicapped ass would take me back to the restaurant. The gentleman at the front desk grinned as he saw me. "Good evening Miss."

Ugh the asshole probably made up some shit to tell this doofus too. "Yeah, where's your little buddy? The fucker waiting my table tonight." I snapped. His eyes widened a little and he licked his lips. "Come back for round two?"

I wanted to fucking kill him. And he wasn't even the one who had started the ordeal. The guy pointed back towards the bar where the asshole was wiping down the counter. "I'll let you guys have some privacy. Let me know if you want company," he said with a wink.

Fucking disgusting.

I strode back towards the douche. "Hey." I said loudly. His head snapped up and he smirked. "Finally come around huh?"

I didn't even fucking answer him I just pulled my fist back and punched him as hard as I fucking could. He stumbled back, gripping onto the counter. "What the--" my manners had no part in this and I interrupted him by slamming my fist into his face again. He stumbled back again, this time tripping on a bar stool and falling back.

I began kicking him as hard as I could in the ribs with my cast-clad foot. "That, you mother fucker is for lying to my fucking boyfriend. And this shit..." I said as I kicked him even harder and he curled up in fetal position, "is for hurting my boyfriend and me with your pathetic..." kick "fucking..." kick "lies.." I ended my tyraid with a strong soccer kick to his nuts.

"YOU CRAZY FUCKING BITCH!" He shouted with a toner a few octaves higher than I'd heard from him before. I smirked, watching him stand up. "YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE! I DIDN'T TELL HIM SHIT!"

"Don't fucking lie to me!" I screamed. He took a step closer and I hit him again, this time with a little less strength. Fuck punching people was exhausting. He shook that one off and closed his fist clocking my right in the eye.

FUCKING BULLSHIT MOTHER FUCKING BITCH ASS COCKSUCKING TWAT, that hurt.

I sniffed and stumbled back rubbing my face. "I didn't fucking tell him anything you psycho. It's not my fault he chose to over-fucking-hear me telling him about my latest conquest."

It didn't register, at all. What the fuck would Edward care if --

"So you're a virgin too?" He said with a shit eating grin as he wiped the blood from his nose with his sleeve.

Fucking shit, that was it. Edward thought I'd... to.. him. I wasn't sure if I felt sorry for Edward or was pissed off at him for thinking I'd sink that low and do something like that to him.

My face went pale and his grin broadened. "Well if you ever want to remedy that little situation, you know where I am." He said smugly brushing past me and going through the swinging doors into the kitchen.

I walked back to the hotel room to grab the bucket for ice. I knew my fucking eye was going to look even worse than it felt pretty soon and I wanted to get the swelling down as much as possible before I had to see Edward's parents.

My legs worked as quickly as they could getting in and out of the hotel room to grab some ice. When I got back Edward was still fast asleep on the bed and I sighed debating if I should join him or not. He made it painfully fucking obvious he needed time and space so I wasn't going to push myself on him - literally or figuratively. I changed into a pair of pj pants and a tank top - the most I'd worn to bed all vacation, and wrapped a few ice cubes in a hand towel. I took a look at my reflection and my face was fucking ugly. It was already pretty swollen and looked tender. The bruises were already forming - damn the asshole got a good hit in. I put a little pressure on the area and winced in pain. Fucking shit. This hurt almost as much as the fucking hit itself. I shut off the bathroom light and padded over to the bed that had gone unused the entire trip. I glanced over at Edward's sleeping form.

Maybe if I just laid on the opposite side of the bed, that would be okay... I laid down hesitantly on the same bed at Edward and peered over at him. He looked absolutely drained. My free hand reached out and traced his jawline lightly. He stirred a bit but his body didn't recoil or come closer. So I did the stupid, needy girlfriend thing and inched over to him - even though technically I wasn't his girlfriend anymore. He'd made that clear before I'd left. I nestled against his chest and I felt him suck in a breath.

"Fuck... that's cold" he hissed as his eyes popped open and I looked down to notice the pack of ice had brushed his chest. Oops.

"Sorry." I whispered looking up at him wide-eyed.

EPOV

My first thought was that Bella was in bed with me. She was here... she'd forgiven me. But then I actually fucking looked at her. Her eye... it was swollen, and red but not in a I've been crying way. More like in a I've just been punched sort of way. Someone touched her. That was unacceptable.

I curled my fingers under her chin and tilted her face up so that I could get a better view. "What happened?" I murmured.

She smiled up at me, faintly. "I was defending your honor."

"My honor?" I said, cupping her face gently in my hands. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Mhm. I love you, even if your feelings have changed. I had to get shit straight with a certain asshole waiter who apparently had me confused with some hoe on holiday."

My breath caught in my throat as I put two and two together. "He did this to you?"

"It doesn't matter. I got in more shots anyway. At least I made him bleed. It wasn't like that pussy shot I had on you at Em's Halloween Party."

She was joking. She was clearly hurt and she was joking. What the fuck was she thinking? How could she even think to do something like that? "God, Bella, you shouldn't have done that. You... shit... look at your eye."

She shrugged, "S'okay. It'll go away."

No.

No.

It most certainly was not okay. This was fucked up, and that shitfuck was going to pay. I couldn't believe that he'd hit my girl. Mine. He'd hurt her, he fucking hurt me. I went to stand up, but Bella grabbed my arm. "Where are you going?"

"Downstairs. You don't think I'm gonna let this slide, do you?"

"Edward, c'mon. Look, I'm fine, see? I'm here, I'm fine." She tugged my arm again. "Please?" She added, pleading with me to stay.

She'd gone through all that trouble. The least I could do was make it better for her now. I sighed and looked back down at her, "Do you need more ice?"

"No, I'm fine." She held up the bag to show me.

"Okay," I said as I crawled back into bed with her, pulling her into my chest. She snuggled in and I put the ice on her eye, then my cheek found the top of her head again. I wanted this to mean that she forgave me and that we'd be okay in the long run. But, I knew it wasn't. I knew that there was too much shit between us and that the likelihood of her ever wanting to give all of herself to me again was slim. I wanted her back, and I wanted to be able to fix everything for her.

Fix it.

I could fix it.

I waited until she fell asleep until I made my move. It almost fucking broke me to have to pry myself away from her, but somehow I did. I crept out of our room, but once I got into the elevator and downstairs, I made as much noise as I wanted on my way back to the restaurant. That fucking ass hole... fuck. He'd pay. I"d make sure he'd pay.

I blew into the restaurant, completely ignoring the seating host who was trying to get my reservation. Then I saw him: he was chatting up some chick like he hadn't a care in the world. I marched over to him.

"Hey, asshole!"

I turned and smirked at me. "Your girl need something?"

I pulled my fist back and knocked him one across the jaw. "You hit my girl, and that is simply unacceptable." He stumbled a bit, clutching his jaw, then recoiled his other fist. But I was quicker and I got him just under the opposite eye. Good. "And that'll teach you not to do it again. I don't ever want to see your mangy ass near my girl every again. Leave us alone."

I turned on my heel and walked away, feeling the pain in my fist mix with the pain in my chest. I only made it half way across the lobby before it was too much. I sunk back down into a chair, my arm to my fucking chest. It hurt so fucking badly to know that I'd lost her.

I didn't want that. I really didn't want that.

She was my girl.

Mine.

She could never be anything to anyone else because she was everything to me.

And after all, isn't that what mattered most?

BPOV

I woke up and reached for Edward. My eyes flung open when all I felt was bed sheet. I sighed and sat up against the headboard, running a hand through my hair. Fuck, he'd gone to see the douchbag waiter. I debated going down there, but realized that would probably cause more harm than good if I called him out while he was sucker punching the asshole. So instead I waited, and took many, many deep breaths to stop myself from going down there and wailing on the guy a second time.

I heard Edward jiggle the door and flung it open taking a few long, quick strides over to me. His eyes were dark and he didn't hesitate to hungrily push his lips against mine. I moaned at the contact and his tongue invaded my mouth. His hands gripped the sides of my face firmly and I could feel the hot breath puffing from his nose as we took more and more of each other in. His lips never broken from my skin as he trailed hot, open mouth kisses along my jaw and down my neck. "You're mine Bella; you're fucking mine. No one else's - not ever." He panted into my ear, biting the side of my neck roughly. I let out a whimpering moan as my fingers tangled in his hair and pulled. His hands frantically slid down to the edge of my tank top and his fingers danced underneath the hem as he shoved the shirt up my body. He pulled his mouth from my skin only so I could slide it up and over my head and fling it across the room. His lips were quick to land back on mine as he knelt down on the bed, his legs on either side of my own. Fuck this was mother fucking heaven. Obviously the impact from the hit had given me a concussion because there was no way Edward was kissing me like this after... everything. I tugged at his shirt tails before skimming my hands up his chest. He groaned into my mouth and sucked on my bottom lip as I began unbuttoning his oxford shirt. His hands roamed up and down the sides of my body, sending bolts of electric current through me. He bit my bottom lip, tugging it a bit and I moaned, arching my body against his. We both gasped at the skin to skin contact and he shrugged out of the shirt I'd finally managed to unbutton all the way.

I pulled my face away from him, gasping for air. Both of our chests were heaving up and down heavily as my eyes took in his body. His lips were slightly swollen from all the kissing already and his eyes were staring so intensely into mine it was like he was reading my fucking soul.

My lips pushed against his at the thought and I tugged harder at his hair. He groaned and rubbed his erection against my pj bottoms. Noticing the additional clothing, his hands ran along my stomach down to the elastic of my drawstring pants. He shoved them down in one quick motion, thrusting his tongue into my mouth. My hands slid down his solid abdomen that was just fucking perfection personified and made quick work of tugging down his dress slacks. He awkwardly sat up a bit to kick them off before returning to his place between my legs.

This time it was him pulling away from my mouth to catch his breath. I bit my lip looking up at him.

"Are we... are we really doing this?" I whispered staring right at him; I was petrified that he would turn me down.

He leaned his forehead against mine, nuzzling his nose against my neck and taking a deep breath. "I want this... I want you. Do you want me to stop?"

I shook my head. "No." I turned my head to kiss his lips softly, whispering, "please don't; I'll never want you to stop."

EPOV

"Then I won't."

And I wouldn't. I would take every last bit of her until she was spent for the rest of out lives. I didn't mean anything without Bella; not any of it. I let my hands slid down her body and hitch under her legs so that I could pull her down onto her back. She was so fucking perfect... I didn't deserve her. I kissed my way down her body, tucking my fingers into the elastic of her underwear and dragging it down the rest of the way.

"Bella?" I said. I had to say it before we went any further. She looked up at me, her eyes hooded with lust. "Bella, I love you."

She sat up and pressed her lips to mine. "I love you, too. Always."

My lips devoured hers hungrily. I missed that shit so fucking much. All I wanted was to possess her and be all over her. I needed it. My body literally craved it. I felt her hands slid my boxers off, and I let my body crash down over hers. I kept planting kisses all over her face because I knew she'd probably be nervous, and I really didn't want her to be. I wanted her to be okay with this and with us. I didn't want her to regret anything.

"Baby... Baby, you have to tell me if you need me to stop." I kept kissing her as I spoke. But really, there was no fucking way I could stop. I just didn't have the self control. "Okay?"

She nodded and I grabbed my cock to position it at her entrance. I ran the tip up and down her slit, and she shivered a bit underneath me.

"Ready?" I asked. I was. I was nervous as hell that I was going to cum the second I got into her and let's face it, there was a very good chance of that happening, given my track record. I smashed my lips to hers as I pushed into her in one quick thrust, swallowing her yelp. Holy hell, she was tight. But it was a good tight. It was like... tight to perfection. The way she felt, wrapped snugly around me, was by far the best thing in the world. Better than her amazing hands or her perfect mouth. This, this was what I needed. I held completely still inside of her, letting her fingers dig into my back and shoulders as her eyes clamped shut. I kissed her eyelids, desperately trying to control the urge to plow into her and just fuck her into oblivion. But I didn't want to hurt her... I wanted her to be okay. But after a few more seconds, I knew I was going to cum if I didn't move.

"Bella, please?" My eyes were pleading. I needed her to say it was okay.

Her eyes opened and she kissed my cheek as she nodded. I pulled out of her slowly, so that only the tip was left inside before sliding back into her. I groaned again as her warmth consumed me, and her little gasps of pain melted into moans of pleasure. Her hand finally left my shoulders and found my ass, where she helped me set a pace. I knew I wasn't going to last long; fuck I was surprised that I got more than one thrust in, and while I could feel her walls beginning to flutter, I knew she needed something else. I used one of my hands and put it in between us to rub against her clit. She gasped and arched off the bed as I kept drilling into her.

"Bella, Baby?" I asked, my voice deep in her ear.

"Uhhhhh..."

""Do you want to cum?"

Her arms came back up to wrap around my neck and she nibbled at the skin just below my ear. "Yes... Oh God, Edward... make me cum."

I bit down again on her neck as I worked her clit with my fingers and kept pounding into her. "Then do it, Baby. Cum all over my cock."

She let out a low moan, then my name as I felt her walls clamp down on me. Shit. I thrust into her one more time and buried my face in her shoulder as I exploded into her, and she milked my cock. Fuck. If I could have formed coherent sentences at that point, I would have. But all I could think was that it all felt so fucking good. I waited until Bella stopped quivering underneath me before I pulled out and rolled over, pulling her with me. I held her tight to my chest, and pushed the hair off of her face. "I love you... I love you so much. I'm sorry." I was still so ashamed. I'd freaked her out for no reason, and she didn't deserve that. She deserved better. Luckily, I could be better.

She sighed contently, resting her chin on my chest and looking up at me as I ran my fingers through her hair. "I love you too. And I'm sorry too. I never want to give you a reason to doubt that I won't give everything to this, to us."

I leaned up and kissed her forehead. "I should've trusted you, and I do. I just... over reacted. You're perfect, Bella. You're everything."

She smiled up and me, and I pulled her back into me and we curled up, falling into a deep sleep. I knew that we'd have other shit to deal with, and that tomorrow would present it's own problems. But when I looked at it, none of it really mattered.

I had my girl.