"Ugh," Lena moans. She slings her messenger bag over her shoulder like it's full of rocks and shoves her aviators onto her face. "Freedom, at long last."

"Never is it sweeter than a Friday afternoon," Jesse says, pushing the brim of his hat down to shade his eyes.

"I'm trying to decide if I should just plow through the rest of my homework tonight, or say to hell with it," Lena muses as they stroll away from the laboratory. "Part of me says fuck it, but the rest is hearing the siren call of a free weekend."

"Can't help you there," Jesse says, readjusting the strap of his bag. "Nothing planned for tonight, huh?"

"I thought about it," she shrugs. "But I'm bushed, too tired to go out. Might as well make my suffering complete if the night's already shot. You?"

"I do have plans, as a matter of fact." The black station wagon catches his eye as it pulls up to the curb across the lawn and he changes direction, walking backward to wave to her. "Hey look, there they are. I gotta run. See you tomorrow, what time?"

Lena blinks at the car. Or possibly at the vibrant head of green hair that's clearly visible through the window. Genji has his face pressed against the glass and is making a series of ridiculous expressions. "You disappearing somewhere all weekend again?" Lena asks as she snickers.

"Nope, just dinner," Jesse says. "For a friend's birthday. I'll be there tomorrow."

"See that you do, mate," she grins back. "Ten o'clock should do it. Have fun!"

"Thanks." He tips his hat and spins around, jogging across the lawn and tumbling into the back seat. Genji spins around in the passenger seat to face him while Gabe pulls away from the curb. Jesse jabs a knee into the back of Genji's seat and grins. "Happy birthday."

"Is that today?" Genji reels back in mock surprise, hand to his chest. His performance doesn't waver even when Gabe reaches out a hand and pushes him back against the seat, leaning forward to see around him as he navigates away from campus. "I did not realize!" Genji continues, undeterred. "What with only the fifteen texts from you alone and eighty-seven from others, I had no idea!"

"In that case, surprise!" Jesse grins.

"Yup," Gabe says, jerking a thumb over his shoulder toward the back seat. "There's your present."

Genji hums, pretending to give Jesse a considering look. "Is there an exchange program?"

"Nope," Jesse says cheerfully. "You're stuck with me now."

"Very well," Genji says, relaxing against the seat and giving Jesse a warm and sincere smile. "I will make do."

Traffic miraculously doesn't clog the roads on the way. Gabe maneuvers the station wagon through the parking lot of the Vietnamese place with ease just in time for their six o'clock reservation. They head inside to find Sombra waiting for them at the entrance. Gabe wraps one arm around her shoulders, gives her a quick squeeze, and heads in toward the table she points out.

But Jesse halts and does a double take in the middle of the entryway. Sombra poses, winks, and flips him off as Genji snorts. Jesse recovers quickly and tips his hat to her. "Excuse me, ma'am," he says. "I'm looking for my little sister, thought she was comin'. You seen her?"

Sombra laughs and tries to punch his shoulder. But he sweeps her into a hug, managing to tangle up her arms even though he's lacking his usual serape advantage. Genji pops up and engulfs them both in his embrace. "She is right before you," he says, giving them a squeeze. "Clearly your terrible fashion sense has blinded you to her superior style."

"You've got that right," Sombra grins as she squirms her way free of the two of them. "Although I'll admit, this one's not bad." She tugs on the sleeve of Jesse's have-to-look-like-a-respectable-human jacket. But then she gives Jesse a look he's almost tempted to call shy. "You like it?"

Jesse nods, smile bright. "Sure do. Looks amazin', darlin'."

"It suits you," Genji adds and Sombra's face splits into a pleased little smile.

"And to think I was trying to rebel," she huffs, shaking her head.

"Oh yeah? You'll have to do better than that," Jesse says as they follow Gabe to the round corner table where Zenyatta waits. "If my experience is anything to go by, that is."

"You could have told me that before now," Sombra grouses.

"Some things, we must each learn for ourselves," Genji says with a sage nod. Sombra pokes him in the side and he squawks, serious expression dissolving as he swats her away. "Besides," he says while they take their seats, "would you have believed him anyway?" He twists to sit cross-legged and bangs his knee into Jesse's thigh.

"I don't believe anything he says," Sombra says and tosses her purple-tipped hair over her shoulder.

Jesse grins as he slouches in the chair next to Gabe. "That's probably for the best."

"Lord knows I don't," Gabe says, flicking the brim of Jesse's hat. "Off at the table, ingrate."

Jesse feigns a heavy sigh and drops it on the back of his chair, shaking his own shaggy hair out.

"Looks like you need a cut yourself," Sombra says with a sly grin. "What color will you do?"

"Nope," Jesse blows a breath upwards to clear away the hair that'd fallen into his eyes. "I ain't colorin' it."

"Why not?" Gabe's eyes crinkle with his grin. "Afraid it won't go with the hat?"

"I'd do it if you would," Jesse shoots back. Gabe laughs and shakes his head.

"I will admit, I myself have considered it," Zenyatta says. "I am partial to orange. Do you think I could pull it off?" The four of them blink at Zenyatta's head, an uninterrupted expanse of smooth dark skin, and dissolve into giggles. He inclines his head with a smile of his own. "But I think I am satisfied as I am."

"Might work for Halloween though," Genji muses, resting his chin in his palm with one elbow propped on the table. "We still have time to find a wig if you wanted—hey!" Genji almost face plants onto the table after Jesse knocks his elbow out from under him, but he's quick to retaliate with a prod to Jesse's side. Zenyatta calmly slides their water glasses out of the way, using the motion to box Genji in so he can't squirm out of Jesse's reach.

"Knock it off," Gabe says while Sombra snickers. Jesse catches a glimpse of the betrayed look Genji shoots Gabe before affecting his own. Gabe nods over their shoulders. "At least until the witnesses are gone, come on."

They give their orders to the waiter, who to his credit looks only somewhat alarmed. But Sombra interrupts their renewed wrestling match after he leaves when she tilts her head and asks Zenyatta, "What are you doing for Halloween? Are you coming over?"

"I am," Zenyatta says. "I understand Amélie is coming as well, to help run the haunted house. It is quite elaborate this year."

"Automation was a great idea. Really let us go all out," Gabe says, giving Sombra a fond look infused with no little degree of pride. She ducks her head even as her mouth tugs into a smile, pleased but also looking like she's not sure how to respond to that.

Jesse sits back and squints at them. "Just how big did it get?"

Sombra pops back up, smile turning broad and slightly wicked. "It covers the driveway and uses the whole garage. It's massive."

"As one who helped build most of it, I will say it is quite impressive," Genji says, giving Jesse's shoulder a sympathetic pat. "It seems progress has marched on without you."

Jesse folds his arms with a dramatic huff. "Ain't no replacin' a good, solid scare, no matter how fancy," he scoffs.

"Don't worry," Sombra says, a little sing-songy. "We've got plenty of those."

"You should come see it," Gabe says, grin still stretched across his face. "We can leave it up for a while, when are you free next?"

"You would just like an excuse to leave it up the whole year round," Genji laughs.

Zenyatta nods thoughtfully as Gabe shrugs. "He has enough space to park his car. What else does he need?"

"Don't encourage him," Jesse chuckles. "I don't have anythin' Sunday, actually. Might swing by then if you guys'll be around."

"Sure," Gabe says with an easy shrug.

Sombra's eyes light up and Jesse starts to wonder if he should be concerned. "Good," she says. "We need a test dummy who hasn't seen any of it yet." Genji cackles.

"If I die in this thing," Jesse says, pointing a finger at each of them in turn as the waiter returns with their food, "I'm goin' to haunt all y'all for the rest of your lives." Their innocent smiles do nothing to put him at ease. But even so, he's looking forward to it.

"Actually," Gabe says between bites of Bún bò Huế, "it might be staying up a little longer this year anyway. Will we have time the weekend after to take it all down? Or will that game thing take up all of it?"

Genji sits up, eyes bright, and swallows a mouthful of Nhúng dấm . "All of Saturday, for certain. I intend to live there." He elbows Jesse. "Are you coming?"

"Nope," Jesse says, shooting Gabe a grin. "Got important college stuff to do. Have fun."

Genji and Sombra turn identical expectant looks on Gabe as he pivots to Zenyatta with no small amount of desperation. "Are you free that day?"

"Unfortunately, I am not," Zenyatta says with a shake of his head. "I will be working."

"Oh," Gabe says, deflating.

Jesse's grin widens so much his cheeks ache as an idea occurs to him. "I dare you to ask Amélie to take them," Jesse says. He can clearly imagine her response and savors the thought as the others burst out laughing. Even Zenyatta almost chokes on his tea.

"Maybe I will," Gabe says, but he's chuckling. "For all you know, she might be fantastic at shooting things."

"We know this is not your idea of a good weekend," Genji says once they settle, giving Gabe a moving rendition of puppy eyes. "But we do greatly appreciate your willingness and sacrifice." Gabe sighs and looks heavenward like he's praying for patience, but he does nod.

"You better," he growls, but it's clear there's no heat in it.

"Actually," Sombra says, squinting at Genji, "won't you have your license by then? Can't we just take ourselves?"

"No," Gabe says immediately even as Genji starts to nod, eyes alight. "Maybe in a couple years, but not this time. Nice try. I'll take you."

Sombra pouts as Genji shrugs. "So long as we get there, I do not much care how we do so."

"Then it sounds like that's decided," Jesse says as he claps Gabe on the shoulder. "Have fun." Gabe just groans.

They pass the rest of the meal making fun of each other and scaring other patrons, which always cheers Gabe right up. Soon enough, they pack up what leftovers Sombra and Zenyatta have and filter out of the restaurant. Jesse wraps Genji in a bone-crushing hug on the sidewalk, ruffling his hair. "Another year older," he says.

"And no wiser!" Genji finishes, broad smile on his face.

Jesse laughs and tips his hat as they step back. "And many more."

"Amen to that," Gabe says, giving Genji a hug of his own. "Have fun tonight, kid."

Genji nods to them both and skips off to follow Sombra and Zenyatta, concert awaiting him. Gabe knocks his shoulder into Jesse's as they start making their way to the station wagon, tossing him the keys with his other hand. Jesse barely grabs them before they hit the ground, raising an eyebrow as he rights himself.

"What's the point of having a kid that can drive if they don't chauffeur you around?" Gabe asks with a smile. Jesse rolls his eyes but wastes no time planting himself in the driver's seat. Gabe waits until Jesse merges on the expressway to say, "So."

"Here we go," Jesse murmurs and Gabe chuckles.

"Don't give me that," he says, fixing Jesse with a look that's both stern and soft at the same time. "We haven't talked in a while, so buckle up."

"We talk almost every day," Jesse protests.

Gabe waves it off. "I don't mean three minute 'are you still alive' calls. I mean for real. How are you doing, Jesse?"

"What brought this on?" Jesse asks, though he knows deflection isn't going to slow Gabe down. That's more Genji's expert tactic than his, anyway.

"You know what," Gabe says, unimpressed. "Or have you come to your senses and decided you're not a terrible person after all?"

Jesse sighs. "I was just havin' a stressful week, had a couple tests that didn't go well. Physics is still kickin' my ass, by the way."

"So I've heard," Gabe says flatly. Jesse ignores him.

"And he's just had such a rough month. I was afraid of makin' it worse." Jesse shrugs, keeping his eyes on the road. "It honestly didn't occur to me before that night that he might not like guys in the first place. Think I took it a little hard. The girls have a fair bit of fun teasin' me about him, and I got carried away myself. Then he brought that girl back with him and I guess I hit my limit."

Jesse glances over in time to see Gabe's artfully raised eyebrow. "So you had your bad night and what, you're fine now? Just like that?" he asks.

"No," Jesse admits. "But like you said, no sense freakin' out until I know for sure. I've seen her a time or two again since. But they seem pretty busy so I try to leave them be. Haven't actually met her yet."

"Working on some project?" Gabe asks and Jesse nods. "Then I bet the odds are good it is just for school. Not saying it won't turn into more, though," he adds. "Her or someone else."

"Yeah," Jesse says, paying far more attention to a simple lane change than is necessary. "And believe it or not, I'm makin' peace with it. I'm tryin' to not be so…I don't know, invested. His life is his own."

"You do tend to get attached," Gabe says, voice fond as he flicks his gaze up to Jesse's hat.

Jesse gives him a pointed look before he turns back to the road. "Don't know what you mean," he says, sarcasm thick on his tongue. Gabe laughs. "But honestly," Jesse continues, worrying at his lip. "I'm more concerned about his well-bein' than his datin' life these days."

"Oh yeah?" Gabe asks. Jesse can see his head tilt out of the corner of his eye. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure myself," Jesse says as he starts merging over for the exit. "But it's like, every day's a little worse than the one before for him. Whatever's goin' on, it ain't gettin' better. I tried to ask him once and he just," Jesse frowns, waves a hand, "shut down. Like he don't even want to think about it, much less talk about it."

Gabe hums, folding his arms. "He does that and he sure will make it worse," he says and huffs a little self-deprecatingly. "Take it from someone who knows better than most."

"Yeah," Jesse says, reaching over to squeeze his arm. "I wonder if suggestin' a counselor or somethin' would make him think about it? Or might just piss him off more."

"Dunno, kid," Gabe says. "Sounds like he needs to get it out, one way or another. But if he won't talk to you, there's not much you can do."

"I know," Jesse sighs.

He turns into campus and parks just across the street from the dorm. But neither make any move to get out, electing to relax in the car and talk about everything and nothing. Gabe eventually does stretch, yawning as he checks the clock. "I'd better head back," he says, kicking open the passenger door. Jesse levers himself up and comes around the car. "Had an early morning, and I'd like to get a little sleep before Genji gets back from his concert," Gabe says as he meets Jesse halfway.

"What'd you do?" Jesse laughs.

"Shhh," Gabe presses a finger to his lips, wearing a grin like a Cheshire cat. "It's a secret."

"I ain't gonna tell him," Jesse says, playing up his outrage. Gabe just shakes his head.

"I'm going to let him tell the entire world once he finds out," he says and wraps Jesse up in a hug. "Take care, kid."

Jesse grins into his shoulder before he pulls back. "You too, old man," he says. Gabe gives him a nod. Jesse watches him go until the car fades into traffic, barely visible in the deepening dusk. Then he turns and starts to step into the street, but a motion at the edge of his vision catches his eye and he almost trips over the curb. Jesse stops and looks up, squinting to scan the rooftop. It's hard to see it at this distance and with the poor lighting, the floodlights that line it all facing outward. But there's a strange shape at the edge, and it doesn't look like one of the normal stacks. Is it a person?

Jesse stares at it, trying to think of why anyone would be on the roof at this hour. Emergency maintenance? Or maybe—no, Jesse thinks they'd be moving if it were someone that wanted to jump. If it is a person, they don't seem to be doing anything at all anymore. Jesse shrugs to himself. Maybe it's someone's idea of a prank, their very own dorm gargoyle.

He trudges up to his room and tosses his weighty backpack onto his desk chair. He knows he should try to get some work done, if he's serious about going home Sunday to see the haunted house. But it's late enough that he knows he probably won't make much headway. And there's something about working in an empty room that never helps Jesse's concentration. He likes to have company, even if everyone's absorbed in their own work. He somehow gets more done than he would otherwise studying with the girls, despite the ample volume and entertainment they provide.

Jesse frowns, turning around to contemplate Hanzo's empty desk. Come to think of it, at this hour Hanzo's usually back from wherever it is he spends all his time. And even if he had spent most of last night holed up under his loft trying to meditate or something, which did nothing to ease his scowl, he'd at least been here.

Unless…Jesse squashes the thought, shakes his head, and goes back to putting his books away.

He pauses with a hand still on the last one, reconsidering. Even if Hanzo is engaging in something fun for once, it might not be a bad idea if Jesse checked in. It is pretty late, and Hanzo seems to be a fan of alerting roommates to unexpected alterations in plans. He pulls out his phone.

sent : hey just checking in, you going to be out late?

He hits send. A tone immediately chimes from Hanzo's desk.

Jesse stares at it. Then he goes over and pokes aside a sheet of notes and sure enough, Hanzo's phone is lying on the desk. That's odd.

Jesse blinks and steps back, taking in the other side of the dorm anew. With what little Hanzo seems to have, it's hard to tell at first glance. But the place almost looks torn apart. The desk itself is the worst case, books and notes toppled across it almost as if Hanzo swept an arm across the shelf above it and knocked everything off.

Jesse lifts a notebook in the corner. The little figurine is missing.

He retreats to his side, not quite sure what to do. Especially if Hanzo doesn't have his phone, which he's betting is unusual. Then a thought occurs to him: the possible-person on the roof. Jesse bites his lip. It probably wouldn't hurt to check.

He hoofs it up the stairs, slowing when he reaches the roof access door. A quick glance confirms the lock's been popped and the door is ajar, held open a crack by a doorstop jammed into one corner. He slips through, careful to replace the doorstop. Then he picks his way across the roof and comes upon his missing roommate.

Hanzo sits at the edge, balanced on his knees with his combat boots folded precariously under him. He doesn't move even when Jesse gets close, though he can see Hanzo's grip tighten around some kind of bottle as he comes to a stop next to him. Jesse stands there and waits. But Hanzo doesn't so much as acknowledge him, staring fixedly at something on the ledge right in front of him. Jesse turns his head and—ah, there's the figurine.

Hanzo looks like he's trying to glare a hole through it.

Jesse takes a deep breath. He's going to have to break the ice. "Hey," he says, sticking his hands in his pockets and planting his feet. Hanzo says nothing, jaw tightening. "Nice evenin'," Jesse adds after neither of them move.

Hanzo snorts. "What do you want?" he asks through his teeth.

"Nothin'," Jesse says easily. "Just gettin' a load of the view, is all." Hanzo finally tilts his head to look up at him, raising an eyebrow. Jesse gestures to the asphalt. "Mind if I sit?"

"Do as you wish," Hanzo sighs, turning back to face the ledge. He does a fantastic job of pretending Jesse isn't there as he settles down, wrapping his arms around his knees.

He glances back over his shoulder at the access door, a new thought occurring to him. "You come up here a lot?"

Hanzo tilts his head. His shoulders slump a little. "Sometimes. When I need…peace."

Jesse glances over the ledge and takes in the shouting and honking and general cacophony of a busy campus on a Friday night. He looks back to Hanzo with an eyebrow aloft. "Funny you come up here to find it."

"It is a habit," Hanzo allows. "It was peaceful on the rooftops, back h…where I came from. Even if it is much louder here, it is," he pauses, lifts his free hand and tilts it back and forth once, "somewhat comforting. It is not the same, but it has helped the time or two I have come here before."

Jesse leans back, thoughts derailed. Time or two? He'd started to assume that maybe this is where Hanzo disappears to all the time, if it's such a habit. Jesse knows he can be larger than life. Maybe he couldn't blame Hanzo for needing some space after sharing a room with him. "Oh yeah?" he says, trying and failing to tamp down on his need to be sure. "Have you found somethin' better?"

"Better than what?" Hanzo asks, sounding startled.

"Better than the roof. For your peace."

"Oh," Hanzo says. He takes a swig from the bottle, the contents sloshing at the precise pitch to suggest the presence of a fair amount of air. "No. This place is very loud."

Jesse can't help his laugh. Hanzo watches him with wide eyes, looking a little like he's never seen someone do that before. Jesse tries to reign himself in and chokes out, "Sorry."

Hanzo screws up his face. "For what?"

"For—never mind," Jesse says. He's starting to think Hanzo's a few more sheets to the wind that he first suspected.

Hanzo nods once. He offers his bottle but Jesse declines with a wave, so Hanzo takes another sip. They sit in companionable silence until Hanzo says, "I have not had the time."

Jesse glances over at him. When nothing else seems forthcoming, he asks, "Time for what?"

"To find a quiet place. Our room is not so bad, but then our neighbors begin their parades of…what do you call the animal, the one that is big and grey? And loud?"

"Uhm," Jesse falters. "Elephants?"

Hanzo inclines his head. "They—the neighbors—start their elephants at inopportune times."

"Aw, Jaime ain't so bad," Jesse says with a grin. "Ain't seen too much of Mako, can't speak for him. But I think they're all right."

Hanzo gives him a flat stare. "Elephants," he says darkly.

"Okay, point taken," Jesse chuckles.

"And I have so much to do, I do not have time." Hanzo runs his free hand down his face in a gesture so tired that Jesse closes his mouth around his questions. "But I must…I must stay busy. Very busy," he tells Jesse seriously.

"Oh," Jesse says without thinking. "And here I thought you were just avoiding me."

Hanzo turns and gives him a startled stare. "Why would I do such a thing?"

"Uh," Jesse says, blinking. "Oh, I don't know. I didn't mean…well. I know I can be a little much sometimes, thought maybe you didn't like me. Or something. Never mind."

Hanzo keeps staring. Jesse's eyes start watering in sympathy. "I do like you," Hanzo says and Jesse's heart gives a breath-stealing leap. "I like you very much," Hanzo goes on, earnest and unwittingly merciless. "You are a nice man. Too nice, I think."

"Oh," Jesse says. He's glad the light around them is poor and that Hanzo is probably not going to remember this in the morning, because his face is so hot it feels like it's about to melt off. "Thanks?"

"Too nice, when I have done nothing to deserve it." Hanzo tilts the bottle and takes another swig. Jesse wonders if he should try to take it, maybe put it out of reach. "I know you bought that tea for me. I am sure of it."

"Oh, lord," Jesse murmurs to himself, hunching over his knees. "Look, I didn't mean anything by it—"

"Thank you," Hanzo says, the barest of slurs tinging his voice. He frowns, face scrunched up like he's having trouble choosing the right words. "This time of year is…difficult for me. And then I make it difficult for you and those around me. I think, ah, I must apologize. You have been a friend to me, even through the worst of my moods." Hanzo pauses to swallow hard, looking down and thus missing Jesse's further rueful retreat between his shoulders. Or so Jesse hopes. "I think I could not blame you if it were you that found me unlikable."

"No," Jesse says too quickly, sitting straight with a crack of his spine. He coughs and rubs the back of his neck as Hanzo looks up at him. "I mean, of course I like you. What's not to like?"

Hanzo keeps staring at him and Jesse is ready to sink through the rooftop. "Are you certain? That you like me?"

"Very," Jesse says firmly, voice as level as he can get it. His ears feel like they're on fire.

"Oh," Hanzo almost whispers and Jesse needs to change this topic right now, immediately. He opens his mouth to say something stupid and inadequate but Hanzo tilts his head back and takes a deep drink. Jesse's entire train of thought goes off the rails as his eyes zero in on that long throat. Hanzo wipes his mouth on his sleeve and doesn't give him the chance to straighten it out. "I am…unaccustomed, I think is the word? To this. I am not—" he stops short, grimaces. "Was not the more personable between us back home. Most of our friends came for my brother. I think they found me…cold. Strict. What is…unbending? I cannot think of—"

"You mean you had a stick up your ass, darlin'," Jesse says and Hanzo belts out a hearty laugh. Jesse's heart seizes up at the sound and the sight, the faint light glinting off Hanzo's teeth before he claps a hand over his mouth. It doesn't muffle the subsequent giggles, nor is it high enough to hide the blush Jesse can barely make out across his sharp cheekbones. Although Jesse suspects that has a lot more to do with the liquor than his comment. Hanzo almost knocks the little figure off the ledge with one swaying elbow so Jesse leans over and swipes it, pocketing it in his jacket for safekeeping.

"Yes," Hanzo says once he settles down. "That is what they thought, I am certain. My…" He sighs, all traces of mirth bleeding out of him in an instant. "My brother was my opposite. He was so cheerful, so charming. So…young."

Jesse frowns. It has not escaped his attention that Hanzo refers to his sibling in the past tense.

"G—" Hanzo chokes, does a full body flinch. Jesse starts to reach out to him before arresting the motion, pulling back quickly. He gets the sense it would not be appreciated. Hanzo takes a deep breath, oblivious to Jesse's minor flail, and starts anew. "My brother was my only real friend, for a time. But our interests...diverged. I invested myself in the family business, as was expected. He did not."

Jesse decides to test his suspicions. "So he wanted somethin' else out of life, huh? Your family let him do it?"

"No," Hanzo says, fingers squeezing the bottle. Jesse can make out the whiteness to the joints even in the dark. "So he took matters into his own hands. He attempted escape."

"Oh," Jesse says. His brains starts to paint the likely tragic narrative from the snippets Hanzo has given him. His stomach sinks. "He didn't make it?"

Hanzo bows his head. "No. His efforts cost him his life. I learned from his example, I chose the slower path. When it came time to leave for school, I was able to…" Hanzo frowns, eyes almost going cross-eyed as he searches for a word. "What is it called, when you deceive others with a false trail?"

"Mislead?" Jesse offers and Hanzo nods decisively.

"Yes, that is it. I was able to mislead my family into believing I went to east as they expected, and came here instead." Hanzo scowls, jaw so tense Jesse worries he's going to crack his teeth. "I now have the freedom he deserved. How should I be satisfied with this? I do not deserve it."

"Hold up," Jesse says, throwing caution to the wind and laying a hand on Hanzo's arm. "Obviously I don't know your brother and can't speak for him, but I'm willin' to bet he'd be happy you got yourself out of there."

"It would be very likely," Hanzo says, almost mockingly. "And so it is all the more undeserved. You do not understand."

"Then why—" Jesse starts before Hanzo shakes his hand off, gesture impressively precise for someone so plastered.

"My brother is dead," he snaps, eyes burning as he holds Jesse's gaze, "because of me."

Jesse gapes at him. He hadn't expected that. Hanzo maintains his glare, daring him to say something. Jesse regains enough presence of mind to close his mouth, tilting his head and taking his time as he considers the situation before him.

Hanzo is drunk, certainly. Angry. At his family? Probably. Who wouldn't be? But Jesse squints, watching his furious mask crack a little around the edges. Hanzo still doesn't say anything, like he's waiting for Jesse's contribution. And from the number of times he's repeated that he is undeserving...Jesse suspects he's more angry with himself. He may very well be waiting for Jesse to add his condemnation, to validate what Hanzo clearly feels. Especially if he thinks he's responsible. And if Jesse tries to say something soothing, he looks more than ready to start a fight. To vindicate his own guilt for himself if Jesse won't do it for him.

Well. If it's condemnation he wants, Jesse won't give it to him. He waits, and the long moment passes. Hanzo looks down, glare melting into a frown that just looks...tired.

"How old were you?" Jesse says into the quiet.

Hanzo jerks his head up, eyes wide. "What?"

"When it happened," Jesse says, infusing his voice with patience. "How old were you?"

Jesse watches as Hanzo visibly tries to reorient his thoughts. "I was..." he stops, swallows hard, "I was fourteen. He was...younger than I."

"Okay," Jesse says with an easy shrug. His mind churns, turning over that long stretch of time that Hanzo must have spent stewing in his guilt. He's got to be eighteen, or at least close enough not to matter. That makes four years of regret and self-hate, all the while stuck with the people that made it happen in the first place? No wonder he's been so pissed. But Jesse tries not to let any of that show on his face as Hanzo stares at him again.

"Okay?" Hanzo repeats, incredulous. "That is all you have to say?"

"What did you want me to say?" Jesse asks and Hanzo flinches. His grip on the bottle tightens so much Jesse can hear his joints creak.

"Is this not repulsive to you? Are you truly at ease knowing you share your space with a murderer?"

"Fourteen," Jesse says and Hanzo scowls.

"Yes, I have said," he snaps. "You are not—"

"I ain't gonna insult you and say somethin' like it weren't your fault or tripe like that," Jesse interrupts. "I wasn't there, obviously I don't know what happened. But I'm havin' a hard time believin' you caused his death, is all."

Hanzo's face twists with frustration. "You do not understand," he says. "I was the only lifeline he had in that place. And I dismissed him, I turned him away." He shakes his head, grimacing in what looks like actual pain. "His concerns were perfectly valid. And I told him to grow up."

Jesse shrugs again. "I remember bein' a dumb shit at fourteen myself, okay? Thought I knew everything worth knowin' back then. You any different?"

Hanzo blinks hard. "No," he says, a little hesitant.

"And you said he had concerns. About what, exactly?"

"About," Hanzo pauses, takes another drink from the bottle. "About our family. The things they were doing."

"Okay," Jesse says. "And did you have any suspicions yourself?" Hanzo stares at him, looking lost. "Or did you only see what they let you see?" Jesse adds, voice as gentle as he can make it.

"No," Hanzo says. "I had none. It was not until after that I began to see them for what they are. The family was my entire world."

Jesse nods. "And they weren't your brother's."

"No," Hanzo whispers after a moment.

"But he came to you, huh?" Jesse goes on, treading carefully. He guesses this is the thinnest ice.

Hanzo gives him one slow nod, deep in thought. "We used to tell each other everything. We were very close, when we were younger. But then..." Hanzo folds inward, shoulders hunching. He takes another swig and sets the bottle down hard beside his knee. It wobbles in place so Jesse reaches out to steady it, using the excuse to slide it over to his other side and out of Hanzo's reach. He takes a peek at the label as he sets it down. It looks like some kind of sake, and not a terribly refined one. It's almost empty.

"But then they got to you," Jesse finishes for him. "You're the older brother, you said? So, what, the heir?" Hanzo nods. "Bet they dumped a lot of responsibility on your shoulders. Fed you a lot of crap."

"That does not matter," Hanzo says. "They did, but my choices were my own. I chose to turn him away."

"Yes, you did," Jesse agrees. Hanzo jerks back and stares at him, startled. Jesse gives him a sad smile. "That's why your choice to leave them for yourself is so important. You came to your senses in the end. And even if you didn't help him back then, you didn't kill him, neither."

Hanzo's mouth works, no sounds coming out. He reaches down for the bottle, feeling around without tearing his gaze from Jesse's. He gives up when he can't find it, folding his arms across his chest. "But I..." he starts, blinking heavily. "I did, it is my—"

"No," Jesse says. "What actually happened?"

"I—" Hanzo swallows, then lets out a gust of air. "I was away. I am not...not certain..."

"You were away," Jesse repeats, frowning. "If you were away, what could you have done to help him?"

"Many things," Hanzo growls, shaking his head. "And I think upon them every day. He was not in danger until I rebuffed him. I could have counseled, what is the word—patience. Told him to await my return. Told him to come to me, it could have been easily managed." His face twists in anger. "But I called him a fool, and told him to stop dodging his respo...respobil—" Hanzo huffs and tries again, "his responsibilities. I was angry he did not take them as seriously as I did, and I told him as much. It was only after he knew I was no longer his ally that he was...that he..." He waves a hand, trying to express what his uncooperative tongue won't let him. "That he took action."

Jesse listens in silence, letting him get it all out. He just gives Hanzo a nod he hopes conveys understanding, if Hanzo isn't too far gone into drink and self-recrimination to pick up on nuance. The anger sloughs off of Hanzo's shoulders and leaves only weariness and sorrow in his face, so striking that Jesse feels an answering pang in his own chest.

"When I returned," Hanzo says, voice halting, "there was nothing left of him. Even his room had been...converted, for general purpose. There was only a small shrine, in the garden. There was no mourning." He makes a face and Jesse almost reaches out for him, again thinking better of it at the last second. "To the family, it was nothing but a lost investment. To me...it shattered my world."

Hanzo's voice breaks on the last word. Jesse does lay a hand on his shoulder at that, heart twisting. Hanzo jerks at the touch. But then he leans into it so Jesse scoots closer, jeans dragging on the asphalt. He slides his arm all the way around Hanzo's shoulders.

"You made a mistake," Jesse says softly. "Same as anyone does at that age. The both of you paid a far higher price for it than most. But that don't make you a murderer." Hanzo heaves out a breath and slumps against his side so Jesse tightens his hold. "You came to your senses and you got out. That counts for more than you're willin' to credit yourself. Your brother'd be proud of you, Hanzo."

Hanzo says nothing. It might be that he's finally succumbing to his exhaustion and the amount of alcohol in him, but Jesse hopes that it's also because he's taking some of this to heart. He keeps his arm wrapped around Hanzo and feels him take breath after shaky breath. Jesse tilts his head back and counts the faint stars to give him some measure of privacy, heart heavy in his own chest.