Kaidan stood on the ramp leading up to the open shuttle bay of the Alliance transport he had signed on to. At the base of the ramp soldiers stood or sat waiting to board. Some slouched on the floor, others sat on boxes, all were talking loudly. Kaidan surveyed them critically, they were young, mostly raw recruits barely out of basic training. Put these kids in front of an army of husks and most of them would start running.
At Kaidan's side a young blonde girl, Private Nook, in a junior quartermaster's uniform was marking supplies on her datapad as they were loaded. Kaidan was tapping away on his omni-tool reading reports of skirmishes on Earth to try to determine where his presence would make the most difference. His heart wanted to go to Vancouver, his head said that London was where the fight was. He was carefully ignoring the occasional glances that Private Nook was shooting him. She wasn't the only one of course, the sudden presence of a Spectre on their ship had the crew abuzz as though he were a celebrity. He had perfected a glower that did not invite questions but that had not stopped Private Nook from staring.
"If you have something to say then you should get it over with Private," he said eventually not looking up from his omni-tool. She startled and then gathered herself.
"I'm sorry Sir, I was just wondering if there had been some change to our mission? We weren't expecting to see… it's just a supply run so we didn't think… someone like you…"
"No change," he replied giving her a brief smile, "I'm just an extra piece of cargo." She grinned as his eyes met hers and caught her breath. Kaidan noted her flush dispassionately, she was pretty and he was lonely and, he supposed, free of obligations. But he doubted that he would be able to muster that kind of enthusiasm for a very long time. Judging by the reports from Earth he didn't have a very long time.
Kaidan had not decided to go to his death, he was fully aware of his value to the resistance on Earth and he didn't intend to throw his life away. On the other hand, he had tried to make a life without Shepard before. He supposed that in a sense he had managed it, before Shepard had risen from the grave he had just about put himself back together, her had even begun dating again. But the effort that it had taken him to get to that point had nearly killed him and the life that he had reconstructed was one of numbness; it had just about stopped hurting to open his eyes each morning but there had been no joy in it. He didn't think that he had the energy to go through it all again, especially not when there was such a good cause just waiting for people to die for it. On Earth, he could make a difference.
"Ok Sir," Private Nook said with a nod, she bit her lip and ploughed on, "do you think… everyone knows you were with Commander Shepard in the Battle of the Citadel. Do you think she can do it Sir?"
"We'd better hope so Private," he said looking back at him omni-tool, "if she can't no one else can. Come on it's time to get these people boarded, I want to be out of here within the hour."
Commander Shepard's sky car pulled in to the docks, screeching in ahead of the queue. In the back of the car Shepard had spent most of the journey snapping at the driver to break the speed limit and she'd deal with the consequences later. The poor salarian had looked her up and down, noting her bare feet and scruffy clothing and cursed his luck but he had got here there. Shepard flung herself out of the door, shouting that she would be back with payment, and hit the ground running.
Her bare feet pounded on the cold metal, her scarlet hair was starting to come down out of its tail. She knew that she must look like a mad woman but she didn't care. All the way there she had been on the verge of clawing at her face as images flew through her brain. Imaged of Kaidan's ship taking off, of him fighting alone and outnumbered in a ruined city, of him dying in a thousand different ways, torn apart by husks, shattered by bullets or simply disintegrating in a Reaper's beam.
She zig zagged through the crowd of refugees and soldiers, jumping over supplies and the meagre belongings that people had managed to bring with them. EDI had given her a location for Kaidan's ship but had been unable to confirm the departure time as ships were coming and going so frequently that the docks' logs were a mess. She was attracting shouts of annoyance as she got in people's ways but she ignored them as she neared the docking bay.
As she approached she saw that the bay was guarded. Armed soldiers in Alliance uniforms stood at an open gate checking papers as soldiers filed in for boarding. Shepard's panicking heart slowed a little as she saw the ship was still there but she did not break her stride.
"Ma'am stop!" One of the gate guards had seen her approach and judged that her intention was to run straight by him. She didn't slow, aiming for the small gap, although the ship was still there she could see its engines were powering up and she was taking no chances. Shepard gritted her teeth and pushed onwards, ignoring the aching in her lungs from her punishing pace. As she reached the gates one of the guards grabbed her arm and pulled her to a stop.
"Ma'am this dock is not open to civilians!" The young man said.
"I'm NOT a civilian!" She snapped back jerking her arm free. She didn't wait for a response before leaping past him in a biotic charge.
Kaidan saw the blue flare from where he stood on the ramp and instantly reached for his gun. The queue of kids had barely begun boarding and the docks were still full. He had seen the crew manifest which listed three biotics as assigned to this ship, none of them should be powerful enough for the cobalt blaze that had lit up the entrance to the docks. This was either a really, really stupid joke or a really, really stupid attack.
"Cover!" He shouted as the flare approached and the recruits scrambled to obey. Before most of them had managed to do so the flare died and was replaced by a figure running at full speed towards the ship. She was twenty feet away when he saw the dark blaze of her red hair. Around him the recruits were raising their guns uncertainly.
"Don't shoot!" He yelled, panic rising. Shepard was slowing to a jog and eventually came to a halt a few feet from the bottom of the ramp.
"Sir…" Private Nook said a question in her voice.
"Stop!" The guard from the gate was panting towards them gun raised, anger on his face. Kaidan didn't move, his eyes were fixed on Shepard.
"Stand down!" He called without looking at her pursuers, "can't you see who it is?!" As he said it he took in her appearance. Her clothing was loose making it appear too big for her and her feet were bare. Her hair was falling out of its tie so that it settled in waves about her face. Her face was flushed from her run, her eyes bright and wild. To him she looked like Shepard at her most breath taking. But to someone who had only seen her on the vids, who only knew the legend not the woman, this soft, vulnerable woman was not Commander Shepard. At least not at a first glance.
"Kaidan…" she let out his name on a broken gasp.
"Commander Shepard," he said keeping his voice professional, warning her to do the same, and ignoring the rustle of surprise from the surrounding soldiers. "How can I help you?"
"Kaidan I'm so sorry," she said, not noticing his flinch at her use of his first name in public.
"We should talk in private Commander," he said keeping his voice steady.
"Please don't get on that ship!" She begged ignoring him, "I can't do this without you. I don't know if I can do this anyway but without you… I don't want to save a galaxy that doesn't have you in it." Kaidan's breathing stopped for a moment.
"Shepard…" he began.
"I love you Kaidan," she blurted, "I've loved you since before Ilos. I've never loved anyone like I love you. I'll never love anyone except you. I thought it would be easier to keep everything simple but being without you could never be simple. I don't work without you. Please forgive me and come home." Kaidan's eyes were searing into hers, she could feel her heart thudding in her chest. Fear crept into her as the silence stretched on, suddenly she was aware of the audience around them hundreds of eyes fixed on Kaidan.
Kaidan cleared his throat and without speaking gave a small, almost imperceptible nod.
Shepard flung herself up the ramp and into his arms. His hard armour was cold against her exposed skin as he lifted her up and she kissed him. When she broke away and saw his expression she wished she could fix it there forever, she had never seen such a look of joy on his face before.
"Never again Shepard," he muttered, his voice almost lost in the cheer of the crowd, "I can't get my hopes up again if you don't want…"
"Marry me Kaidan," the words were out of her mouth before she had even thought them, "when all this is over…" she added hurriedly.
"You stole my line," he said tears in his eyes, "marry me Alexa. Now, today, tomorrow I don't mind but before we go back out there. If we're going to save the galaxy I want to do it as your husband. We can always have the big wedding afterwards if we…" he caught himself before he said what they both feared "if we want to." This time Alexa didn't hesitate.
"Yes, Kaidan, always yes."