(716): i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
"I feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls."
Santana all but choked on her smoothie, gasping and reaching for the closest napkin to keep from spitting up the cold beverage all over her and Kurt. Smiling innocently, the Hummel teenager passed over a napkin and held a small, pleasant smile as his friend and glee-mate calmed herself down.
"What?"
"You heard me. Both as a lesbian and female, you will never understand the beautiful feeling of having or touching shaved balls." Kurt sipped his own drink daintily.
"You do realize how many men I slept with before coming out, right?" Santana questioned, wondering just what in the hell had gotten into Kurt.
"A bunch of low-life Lima Losers? Like they actually took care of their bodies." Kurt rolled his eyes and scoffed.
"Like you've had any better luck—"
"Noah Puckerman."
"What about his Jewish ass?"
"I think you mean his nuts, Santana."
"He didn't." Deadpanning, the Latina teenager stared in both shock and amazement.
"He did."
"How in the hell did you pull that one?"
"We turned it into a," Pausing for a moment, Kurt made air quotes with his fingers, "learning experience, so to speak."
"What, did you guys share razors, too?"
"Oh god no, Santana. What do you take me for, some country bumpkin? Just know, negotiating can create some wonderful results for both you and your lover. Kinky little requirements, but the end results can more than make up for it."
"I think you just told me more about your apparent sex life with Puckerman than I ever wanted to know in a lifetime. Thank you, for that. Next time we go for smoothies I'll go into rapid detail about the beauties of Brittany's vagina." Standing up and grabbing her bag and coat in one quick swoop, Santana was out of her chair and poised and ready to go. "No detail shall be spared, Hummel."