Jared's POV

We saved Jamie.

I had almost thought we weren't going to make it. When we got back to the caves and I had hidden the Jeep, I held Jeb's gun close to me. Ian had stolen it for me before we left and handed it to me when he gave me my car keys back. I was glad Wanda hadn't seen it thanks to the blindfold. She would have objected to it.

Kyle made the most noise when we got back. Not to say others weren't rattled by my decision to take one of them outside. But Wanda pulled through, I told them countless times and ran as fast as I could behind her to get to our room. I couldn't let anyone come after her. Especially not now of all times.

Maggie and Sharon were in the room with Jeb, Jamie and Doc. Ian waited outside the door for us, his face sighed in relief when he saw Wanda and me running towards the room. Melanie's aunt and cousin were furious at me. Sharon tried to attack me but I stopped her, holding her in place while Wanda instructed Doc what to do. Once Jamie was safe, I let Sharon go. She and her mother both left angerly.

It had been one day since we returned home. But yet, Wanda and I stayed planted at Jamie's side with James. He tried to convince us to do something else but Jeb gave us passes knowing what we just went through.

Jamie was playing with James at our table in the dining area when it hit me. James' first birthday was just a week away. We had talked about a party but with everything that happened, we never got around to doing anything about it. He went to get more food so I decided to bring it up.

I turned to Wanda, tapping her on the arm. "Remember we talked about a birthday party for James?"

She gasped. "I forgot! There was so much going on..."

Wanda trails off. I understand. "We can still do something."

"Like what?" she nods. "Do we have anything we can use?"

I think for a moment. "I'm not sure. I can look."

"Or..." she starts but then stops.

"Or what?" I ask her curiously.

"I could go out again," she whispers in a shushed voice. She leaned toward me closer after her sentence so only I could hear. "You know you can trust me."

"I do," I tell her. We're close enough that I could easily close the space between us. But I won't. I can't do that to Wanda or Mel. I lean away a little and I can see a small frown form on her mouth then disappear. "But I don't know if we can just go out again."

"Oh," she says and backs up a little herself.

"We can ask," I say. "I'll ask Jeb. Maybe if I go to him and plead it's his great nephew, it will work."

Wanda nodded. "I hope so."

I put my hand on her shoulder and she looked at me. "Hey, did I say something wrong?"

"No," she shakes her head. "You didn't do anything, Jared. It's just...sometimes I think about how I'll never belong here. That people doubt they can trust me proves I was right to think it in the first place."

"No, that's not true at all," I tell her. "Those people - they need to get over themselves. You've done more for people here than most of them have. You don't need their approval to be welcome here."

"It seems like it," she whispers.

"Wanda -"

Jamie comes bouncing back in his seat and slides in across from us. I stop my sentence but he notices the atmosphere he just walked into. "What's wrong? Wanda, are you okay?"

"She's fine," I lie for her. I wasn't sure if she wanted to tell him. Jamie would just try to comfort her and I knew Wanda. She wouldn't believe it but think he was only saying it to make her feel better.

Jamie looks at me and he understands. My eyes must be asking him not to ask anymore about it. He just starts eating his food and when Lily comes by, she takes James to Doc's for me. I can never make myself watch Doc check if he's all right. His weekly appointments were driving me crazy.

After dinner, while James was at his check-up, I excused myself to go see Jeb. I fully intended to ask him about taking Wanda out to get stuff for James' birthday. I understood a hundred percent if he said no. It was a birthday party for someone who wouldn't even remember it. But I had to try.

I had to for my family.

I knocked lightly on his walls and Jeb looked up. The make-shift door was open so I took that as a good sign. "Well, well. Jared, what can I do for you?"

"I wanted to ask you about a favor," I say. He tells me to come in with his hands and I do, sitting down across from him.

"Now, what kind of a favor would you be asking for?" he said.

I blurt it right out. "I was wondering if Wanda could go on another raid with me so we could celebrate James' first birthday."

Jeb smacks his lips for a few seconds then stops, only to stare at me. When he's done, he leans over his desk and speaks. "You didn't ask to take her on the first raid."

"No, I didn't," I agree. "But I had to for Jamie."

"I'm not arguing that," he says. "Just wondering what makes you ask this time."

"Well, no one's dying this time," I answer. "I figure I didn't need to cut any corners."

He smiled at that. "Well, that's true, kid. Now what would happen on this raid?"

"We'd get simple things," I say. "A cake for everyone. Maybe some toys for him to play with. Hats."

"If it's all right with you, then it's all right with me," he says.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Why, is there a problem?"

"No, no, there's not," I back up. "Just...before you asked everyone what they thought about it, if they'd let it happen."

Jeb nodded. "Well, that was her first time out. Now, I trust Wanda. Mebbe before any of you did. But she didn't rat us out to the others. I call that a win. Don't you?"

"Yes, I do."

"Okay, then."

We cleared up some other thoughts for the raid before I left and went back to our room where I guessed Wanda would be right now. I walked down the familiar tunnels down to it. It was a walk I'd made many times after I went to Jeb planning the next raid. It felt kind of fitting to be doing it again.

I saw the familiar door and walked right into it...only to hide against the wall. Yeah, Wanda was in there but she wasn't alone. And it wasn't Jamie or James or even Lily. It was Ian. And they were kissing.

It felt like a knife stabbing my heart to see that. I'm not saying I'm in love with Wanda but seeing her, Mel's body...with Ian. It felt like she was with someone else. But the Wanda part hurt, too. Not the same because I know she's not mine the way Melanie is but she's still something to me.

After calming my heart rate down, I search for Jamie. He was probably in the game room with Aaron and Brandt and the others right now. Instead, I turn to the direction of Doc's to see James. I'm not that far down when I almost bump smack into Kyle.

I sigh. One of thelast people I wanted to see right now, besides his brother. "Watch it."

"Testy, are we?" He laughed. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," I shook my head. Then a thought occurs to me. Maybe he would understand about what I just saw. "Hey, can I ask you questions? About Jodi?"

Kyle's face freezes. "What about Jodi?"

I look around and there's very few people around and not in close enough distance to hear us either. I still back closer to a wall. "It's hypothetical."

"Okay," Kyle still seemed on guard.

I take a deep breath and ask. "What if you saw Jodi again and she was moving on with another man?"

His face was bewildered. "What?"

"You know what I mean," I told him.

"Okay," he sighed. "Well, one - I'll never see her again. And two, if she was moving on with someone, it wouldn't be Jodi."

"But how would you feel if you saw her body with someone else?" I push. Come on. Kyle has an opinion on everything. He's got to have one on this.

"I don't know," he says. His voice is almost thoughtful. "I haven't seen Jodi in six years. I don't really expect to just see her one day out of the blue."

"But what if she came here?" I ask him.

"Oh, I see," he smirks. "This is about Melanie, isn't it?"

"Not exactly," I reply. "It's Wanda."

"Oh, the soul inside of Melanie then," he says. The struggle to not say parasite is very obvious on his face.

"Yeah," I say, ignoring his tone. "You probably noticed the way your brother looks at her."

"Oh, yeah," he replies. "I definitely noticed that."

I'm quiet for a moment and that just makes him talk again.

"Why?" Kyle asks. "You think he's going to go after the body of your girlfriend?"

"I think he already has," I tell him.

"Oh, shit," he gasps. "Ian. Crap, man."

"I just saw them together," I almost snarl.

"Together, together as in -" his eyebrows lift and I don't need any more words to figure that one out.

"No!" I half-yell. "Not that kind of together."

I shudder at the thought of Ian and Melanie's body in...I can't finish the thought.

"Well, then how together?" Kyle asked.

"Kissing," I say. "They were kissing."

Kyle shudders. "Man, I can't believe that Ian would do that."

"It's not his fault exactly," I answer, surprised to defend him right now. "It's not like it's actually Melanie controlling the body. It's not her he's kissing."

"But isn't he?"

"Well -"

"So you wanted to know how I'd feel," he says. I stare at him for a moment until he laughs. "Well, didn't you?"

I nod. "Yeah. But I thought that you said it'd never happen and it wasn't Jodi so you didn't know how you'd feel."

"Well, that was before," he jokes. "Listen, I'd be pissed if it was someone I knew. Especially if I believed Jodi was still awake inside there and talked to the thing. I'd be angry."

I nodded again. "So what would you do?"

"Nothing," he said simply. "There's nothing you can do. Even if Melanie was screaming at...Wanda to not be with Ian, she's not in control anymore. It's not up to her. You just have to try to push it away and pretend that it's not the same body you were once with."

"I don't know how to pretend that," I sigh.

"Then I guess you better learn, huh?" he teased.

I start to walk away, to go down the direction to Doc's like I had intended to but his voice stops me.

"Jared?"

"What?"

I turn to face Kyle and the teasing look is gone. He actually looks serious.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this," he says. "Not just the Ian part. I mean, her coming here, all of it. Not seeing your son born."

I'm almost in too much shock to speak but then I finally can. "Thanks, Kyle."

He nods at me and I nod back. Kyle turns back to the direction he was heading in before we met up and I move back towards Doc's. When I get there, Lily smiles at me and stands up. "James is asleep right now."

"His check-up went good?" I ask her. I also notice Doc isn't here.

"Yeah, he's a perfectly healthy baby boy," she smiles bigger. "Just like he always is for being down here."

"I'm glad," I say to her. I walk over the small crib still in here for his check-ups. His real crib was in my room now but with what I just saw in there and him sleeping, I didn't really want to move him there.

Lily follows behind me as I reach in and touch his face and his hands. "Doc said maybe he doesn't need his weekly visits pretty soon."

"He doesn't?"

"Nope," she says. "Doc told me since he's been here for months now and seems to be doing fine, maybe he doesn't have to go through this every week. What do you think?"

"I think that's great," I answer, still staring at my little boy. "He deserves to not need doctor appointments all the time. We can't do it forever, can we?"

"No, you can't," she says. Then she's right next to me, looking over at him, too. "How old is he now?"

"He's going to be a year old next week," I say. It stings that it makes me think of how long it's been since I'd seen Melanie.

"Oh, wow." Lily smiles. "I didn't expect that."

"Yeah," I say. What else is there? "It's been a long time."

(A/N: I make it a bit longer between Wanda's first time at the caves and now to make him not be so much of a baby anymore. I hope that's all right. )

"Wanda's been with us for a while," she states. "How is that? Is it weird?"

"Not so much anymore," I reply and it's true. "It was at first. But now it's gotten easier. A big part of that is James and Jamie is a lot better since Wanda came."

"And you?" she asked. "Are you better since Wanda came?"

I had to think for a moment. Was I? When she first came here, I was angry. More than angry. I was furious. But as time went on and I found out about Melanie still being in there, it was very different. I wasn't sure how it changed exactly as it did in the past nine months but I realized I knew the answer to Lily's question.

"Yeah, I think I am," I answer. "I still miss Melanie every day but Jamie's right. It is almost like having her here even though we don't."

She nodded. "I can't even imagine."

"That's okay," I tell her. "It's better than hearing the ones who pretend they can."

About an hour later, Doc comes back in. During the hour, I learned from Lily how he went after Sharon to talk to her. I took James in my arms and carried him back to our room. He was still out of it from falling asleep. The room was empty when I got there and I put him down into the crib again. I was surprised he still fit in it he was getting so big.

I sat down on my bed and sighed. I wondered where Wanda and Ian had wandered off to. I laid down and stared at the ceiling.

"Jared," I heard. For a second, I thought Melanie was calling me. Then I remember James not too far from me and how everything was different. When was I ever going to learn?

I sat up to see Wanda standing in the doorway. "You can come in, you know. This is your room, too."

"I know," she says with a blush. "You looked like you wanted to be alone."

"No, it's fine," I tell her. "I was looking for you earlier."

Her expressions show no signs of knowing what I walked in on. All it did was make me wonder just how much I missed all this time. "You were?"

"I talked to Jeb."

Wanda walks inside the room and sits on her bed, the one Ian had been kissing her on. "About the raid?" I nodded. "What did he say?"

"He said we could go as long as I was all right with it," I answer.

"And are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Okay with it," she adds.

"I wouldn't have asked him if I wasn't," I reply. "I wouldn't have taken you out for Jamie if I wasn't, either."

"Okay, good," she nodded. "Then when do we leave?"

"We can leave tomorrow if you want," I say.

Wanda smiles. "Tomorrow it is."