It was the end of autumn, passing into winter. Brown, dead leaves were blown across the ground by a bitter wind as a light snow flurry passed through the cemetery. A huge crowd had shown up for the funeral in the church, seeing how it was part of the now infamous Saturday Massacre. Blair had adorned the small house of worship with tasteful flowers and had singers and a string quartet there to play lovely, uplifting music. It was a beautiful ceremony lit by candles and stained-glass windows. But it was a small, brave contingent that had made their way out to the cemetery. The crew of Salacious Showers was there, Blair and her family, Valeria and her family and, of course, Theresa's family.
"I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if she dies, will live," the priest blessed the coffin and shook holy water upon it.
"Right," Blair whispered to Jo. She bit her lip as she tried to hold back her cynicism. She was sitting in between Jo and her mother at the grave site. Jo squeezed her hand tight.
"Shush," she whispered back. "Do you want Theresa's Mom to hear you?"
"I know, but…" Blair shook her head. "All this nonsense you Catholics swallow. Ow!"
Monica kicked her daughter's ankle hard.
"Be respectful, Blair," she whispered harshly. "Let Theresa's mother believe her daughter will have eternal salvation, for crying out loud!"
"Alright, alright then," Blair whispered back.
"May her soul and the souls of all the faithfully departed through the mercy of God rest in peace," the priest continued solemnly.
Blair had been sullen since Theresa's death, Jo had observed. It was understandable. What she had witnessed had been horrifying and her grief was profound. She had busied herself with the funeral arrangements but had shut down emotionally. Jo hadn't been able to get her to talk about much. She was actually relieved when Blair had complained about the Catholic ceremony. Maybe she was starting to deal with things? Getting back to normal?
People rose, one by one, to place a rose on Theresa's coffin before it was lowered into the cold, hard ground. Jo placed a rose and a kiss upon the casket before turning to find that Blair had not followed her. There came a clear, angelic voice echoing in a poignant manner.
"Amazing Grace, How sweet the sound. That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am found. T'was blind but now I see."
Blair stood and sang acapella. Her breath fogged before her as the snow flurries ceased and the air became frozen, still.
"T'was Grace that taught my heart to fearand Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear… the hour I first believed."
All stood silent and turned to her.
"Through many dangers, toils and snares we have already come.
T'was grace that brought us safe thus farand grace will lead us home."
Those attending remained motionless for a moment at the beauty of her voice cutting plaintively through the bitter and suddenly still air.
"Amazing Grace," many began to sing. "How sweet the sound…"
"That saved a wretch like me," Jo joined in with them as she smiled at Blair.
"I once was lost, but now am found. T'was blind but now I see," everyone sang.
It was a beautiful last goodbye to Theresa. Jo gave Blair a crooked grin. But Blair did not return her smile. She walked slowly to the casket and placed a single rose on top. She took a step back and stared at the coffin, now completely adorned with roses. She sank to her knees and collapsed in tears.
"Blair, honey," her Mom got to her first and hugged her. It was to no avail. Blair remained in a kneeling position, weeping pitifully. Monica looked up to Jo hopefully.
"C'mon, Blair," Jo squatted beside her and enfolded her in her arms. She rocked her back and forth as she cried. "C'mon now," she repeated in a whisper as she kissed her head. "Time to say goodbye. Time to go."
"Oh, Jo!" Blair fell into her embrace, sobbing mournfully.
"Blair?" It was Theresa's mother who stood before them. Blair looked up into her eyes.
"I want to thank you. I know how much you did for my daughter and how much she loved you."
"I loved her, too," Blair managed as Jo helped her to her feet. "I just can't help but feel that I, that I…"
"Got her killed?" Mrs. Flynn finished her sentence.
"Yes," Blair leaned against Jo, her voice barely audible.
"My daughter loved you. She wanted to be like you," tears filled the older woman's eyes as she gazed at Blair.
"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Flynn," Blair continued to cry.
"Bridget, please," she pulled Blair into a hug. "Call me Bridget," she whispered.
"I'm so sorry, Bridget," Blair hugged her tight.
"Let me believe this one thing," Bridget pleaded as she held her. "That my daughter will have eternal salvation in heaven."
"She was, perhaps, the purest soul I have ever known," Blair affirmed. "She only wanted to do good. Your daughter is in heaven as we speak."
"Thank you, Blair," Bridget kissed her head. "I know you blame yourself, but you did not get her killed. Theresa would not have wanted you to destroy yourself over her death. That would render it meaningless. She was so invested in the struggle, as am I. Remember her as you continue the fight."
As Bridget walked away with her son, Jo looked to Blair.
"I wasn't expecting that," she shook her head. "She was so gracious."
"I know, after I got her daughter killed and all," Blair stated without emotion.
"Jeez, Blair! Stop that! You did not get Theresa killed. At least not any more than I did."
"Maybe we should listen to what she said," Blair perked up a little as she shrugged. "Theresa would want us to go on… continue the fight?"
"The thing is, Blair, we're fighting for people like her: those who can't afford a house, let alone their own health care."
"Oh, I'm buying them a house!" Blair insisted. "Theresa's family will never have to worry about a thing."
"The point is, Blair, that most people are just like Theresa and her Mom: unable to make ends meet in a society that makes one choose between decent healthcare and decent housing with the very real possibility of not being able to afford either!"
"I'm going to take care of Bridget and Blake. What's the problem?"
"Blair," Jo gently laid her hand on her girlfriend's shoulder. "Most people don't have a benefactor like you."
"So, they're just out there? Without help?"
"Exactly," Jo sighed as she felt the reality might finally be sinking into Blair's consciousness.
"Okay, so I knew this," Blair paused. "But, I guess the realness of it, just kind of hit me. It's horrible, Jo! We need to fight for these people!"
Jo looked up to the heavens: "Thank you, Lord!"
"Oh, knock it off!" Blair shoved her. "Forgive me if I didn't see the overwhelming need of the huddled masses while I've been concerned about my own father's life!"
"Spoken like a true one-percenter! Welcome to the real world, Blair Warner!"
"And it took Theresa's death to get me here," Blair lamented. "Please believe me… I just never really felt it so… personally."
"I heard you tell Bridget that her daughter is in heaven. There's hope for you yet, Blair Warner!"
"Okay. Now you're going too far. I just said that to make her feel better. Don't try to make me buy into your idiotic Catholic notions of life after death!"
"You said it, Blair," Jo's voice was sing-songy. "Deep-down, you believe in God."
"Ha! Karl Marx was right: religion is the opiate of the masses," Blair fired back. "And if I were to believe in a deity, it would be female… a Goddess!"
"Like Mary?" Jo nudged her.
Blair took a long look at Theresa's coffin, strewn with gorgeous roses. Her heart sank with sorrow.
"Yeah, I guess," her voice drifted off absently. She picked up an errant rose and placed it upon the casket.
A week had passed since the funeral. Blair had refused to go home, insisting on staying with Jo in her apartment over the club.
"I just can't face the penthouse alone," she had complained. "It brings back memories of Theresa and what happened."
Jo had indulged her; but she was worried about her. Blair didn't seem quite herself. She was still seeing her therapist, Kate, once a week. Jo found it very helpful processing her feelings in such a volatile time with someone objective and insightful. She had recommended to Blair that she should do the same. What she had been through had been extremely traumatic. But, Blair was noncommittal about it. She was still in somewhat of a daze.
It was a Monday evening. The club was closed. Jo expected to find Blair in her rooms, but she wasn't there. She checked with Nat and Tootie, but she wasn't there. She checked the kitchen and the club area, she wasn't there either. She was getting worried. She tried calling her, but it went directly to voicemail. She texted her, but no reply. She passed Rachel on the stairs as she made her way back up to her apartment.
"What's wrong, Jo?" she could see the concern etched across her features.
"I can't find Blair," she stated in an agitated manner.
"I saw her a few moments ago," Rachel reported. "She was headed for the roof."
"The roof?" Jo exclaimed nervously.
"Yeah. Why?"
"Oh, uh, nothing… probably," Jo touched her shoulder before bolting up the stairs towards the roof.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Rachel called after her.
"Thanks! No, I got this!" the reply came back down to her.
Jo threw open the door to the roof and desperately scanned the area for Blair. At last she saw her, standing near the edge of the building, gazing off into the horizon as the sun set. She was wearing a dark leather jacket with a colorful scarf strewn about her neck. The scarf drifted in the breeze behind her. Jo approached her cautiously across the blacktop.
"Blair?" she placed her hand on her back.
"Oh. Hi, Jo," she answered absently.
"What are you doing?"
"Watching."
Jo turned to the west. The chill wind which had been blowing from that direction, suddenly died down. The sun had passed beneath huge, threatening clouds and was now sinking below the horizon. The last rays seared brightly across the sky, belying the wintry air which accosted them. It was as if the whole world held silent for a moment… without movement or thought or intention. Just being.
"What are you thinking about?" Jo finally broke the spell.
"Darkness," Blair replied.
"Darkness?" Jo questioned as she looked towards the sunset. The once ominous clouds were now bathed in a golden glow.
"Everything is temporary. The darkness always comes," Blair exhaled a stream of fogged breath. "Even the sun will die out some day."
"I don't think we have to worry about that for a while," Jo nudged her gently.
"Darkness is coming, reaching out to us, waiting to engulf us in a wave of gloom. We're all standing upon some horrible precipice, all the time, with an utterly dark abyss beneath our feet. But, we just keep going on. Like everything's normal."
"Blair, what's going on with you?" Jo questioned. "Tell me."
"I just feel a sense of impending doom. Like nothing will ever be the same again."
"Yeah, well, maybe you need to get into therapy, like I've suggested."
"No, Jo. Look at the sky."
Jo watched as the clouds turned from gold to orange.
"It's beautiful," she rubbed her hand up and down Blair's back.
"And soon… it will disappear into darkness."
"That's one way of looking at it," Jo nodded as she bit her lip. "But there's another way, ya' know?"
"What's that?" Blair turned to her.
"The twilight will bring a changing sky, not one of darkness, but of light: a thousand tiny twinkles of sparkling, hopeful light. Each one a mystery. Each one a promise of unimagined possibilities."
"Sparkling twinkles?" Blair laughed. "Sounds like a cereal commercial."
"Hey!" Jo was defensive. "Best I could do under the circumstances. You know I'm not poetic! But, at least, I got a laugh out of the Queen of Doom and Gloom."
"I did like the part about mystery and promise and unimagined possibilities," Blair gave her half a smile.
"Yeah, that was good," Jo agreed.
"So, promise me that you'll never lie to me again."
"I promise, Blair. I would do anything for you, you must know that. I was only trying to protect you."
"That has to end. I can protect myself. I want honesty."
"You're right," Jo conceded willingly.
"You should've told me about Mrs. Garrett."
"I should have."
"I just can't believe that Mrs. Garrett is in charge of this."
"She's not, Blair."
"Tell me who is."
"I only have her and one other person as a contact."
"Who's that?"
"I don't know who it is, really. I only know her as Lady X. I only ever talk to her on the phone. I've never met her. There's the plausible deniability thing."
"Which is?"
"The less you know, the less you can divulge."
"So, it was Mrs. Garrett who agreed to my assignment?" Blair continued to question.
"No. She was the one who objected. But, it came down anyway. That was me."
"Huh," Blair shook her head.
"I made a mistake and I'm sorry. But, I can't keep apologizing for it, Blair."
"I guess that makes me feel better to know Mrs. G. wasn't the one," Blair relaxed a little. "I mean... you? I could expect that. You've betrayed me before."
"Yep," Jo bit her lip again.
"But when I heard she was involved… I felt so betrayed all over again, you know?" her eyes began to fill with tears. "You should've told me, way before now."
"You're right, Blair."
"No more secrets, Jo. Okay?"
"I promise. You're totally going to be included in everything from now on. No more secrets."
They stood motionless for a moment as their breath mingled in the air. The color of the clouds changed from orange into brilliant, deep magenta as they moved unconsciously closer, resting their heads together, as their hands joined. Their hair was lifted as the breeze picked up again, entangling gold with dark brown. They were silent for a long period of time… just breathing, just gazing into one of nature's effortless miracles.
"It is a beautiful sunset," Blair sighed.
"It is," Jo squeezed her hand tight. "I'm happy to hear you say that. And the darkness?"
"Will be filled with twinkly sparkles like sugar pops in my cereal bowl, okay?"
"Blair?" she looked at her with concern. "Honestly. I'm worried about you."
"I'm just not to the point of promise and unimagined possibilities yet. There's Theresa and my father and that ridiculous, ass-clown in the Whitehouse."
"Yeah, I get that."
"Sometimes it seems to me like we're not ready for all the power we have as humans. We're like a three-year-old with a loaded gun. Sure, we can pull the trigger, but we have no idea what we're shooting at or the consequences of our behavior. We can't. Because in the grand scheme of things, we're too immature as conscious beings to realize what we're doing."
"Huh," Jo thought for a moment. "So… you at least accept that we are conscious beings."
"Some of us," Blair couldn't help but give her a slight grin. "And only semi-conscious, at that."
"But, you think there's a grand scheme to things? Like there's intelligent design?"
"Like God?"
"Well, yeah," Jo shrugged. "There would have to be, right?"
"That's your assumption, not mine."
"We can agree to disagree on that one, I guess."
"Right," Blair turned to face her. "I guess there is one glimmer of light I can hold on to."
"That's my girl," Jo gave her a brilliant smile. "What's that?"
"You. Whatever happens, whatever dread thing confronts us next, that I won't have to face it alone gives me something to hold on to," she placed a gentle kiss upon her lips. Her voice broke a little as she gazed hopefully into her eyes. "You'll be there with me, by my side?"
"Always," Jo kissed her back.
They placed their heads together and wrapped an arm, each around the other, as they faced the west and tiny stars began to twinkle into existence, one by one, overhead.
"I think it's time we maybe take advantage of your weapons store," George advised Jo.
They were in her office. Paulie, George, and a few of George's guys were there.
"I agree, Jo. If you've got fire power, it's time to unleash it," Paulie nodded.
"I still don't like it," Jo shook her head as she rocked back in her chair. "As many weapons as I've been able to collect, they're still no match for the fire power Trump's Army-for-Hire can bring. What would be our goal? What could we accomplish?"
"Why are you holding on to them, Jo?" Paulie challenged.
"Because, I thought," she eyed him with an angry glare, "That there might come a time when we would have to defend this place here! I was not, and still am not, willing to go down without a fight… if that's what it comes to."
"Since the Saturday Massacre, Jo?" George shook his head. "It's time to release your arsenal. We've got secret training camps set up out on Long Island. We can have an army ready to go in a matter of weeks. We'll be better able to protect this place with an armed and trained militia."
"And you've got no weapons of your own?" she questioned.
"We do. But you forget… I've seen your collection. And it's amazing what you've been able to obtain. You won't need all that and we do."
"I don't like it, Jo," Blair emerged from the office bathroom fluffing her hair. "What's this all going to lead to?"
"Blair's here?" Paulie was surprised.
"Why shouldn't she be? You are!" Jo countered.
"Yeah, I just thought this was a top-secret meeting, is all," he shrugged.
"Blair's in on everything from now on," Jo informed. "What I know, she knows. Got a problem with it?"
"No," Paulie nodded at Blair. "Hey, Blair. How you holdin' up?"
"I've been better, Paulie. But thanks for asking."
"So, the weapons, Jo," George got back to the point.
"We could really use them," one of his men chimed in. It was Murphy, finally swayed over by George to join the resistance instead of towing the C.I.A. line.
"There's a logistics problem," Jo pointed out. "How do we transfer that many weapons unseen?"
"We can use my auto parts business, over a matter of days or weeks, as cover," Paulie suggested. "Plus, your Dad, with one big shipment, could transfer a lot of them."
"I've put Dad in enough danger," Jo countered. "Not sure I want to involve him again."
"But, his brothers in the Teamsters Union could pitch in," Paulie mentioned.
"What's your army going to do, George?" Blair questioned. "Storm the White House?"
"If necessary, Blair," George affirmed. "He's not leaving on his own accord, that's for sure."
"So… a bloodbath then?"
"If that's what it takes," George was deadly serious.
"What are you doing?" Jeff startled Tootie from behind.
"Shush!" she put her finger to her lips and gave him a stern look.
"Seriously, Babe, what are you doing?" he rolled his eyes.
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm trying to hear what their saying inside!" she removed her ear from the tumbler glass she had positioned on Jo's office door and gazed at him.
"Please don't tell me you think that works!" he laughed out loud.
"I was hearing some stuff!" she protested.
"You know what I don't get?" he spoke loudly.
"No! What don't you get?" she snapped back at him.
"If they're so smart, how come they just don't bomb his golf courses?" he yelled.
"Shush! I'm trying to hear!" Tootie put the glass back onto the door.
Their loud voices could be heard inside the office. Jo gave a curious look to the assembled crew. She walked to the door and opened it. Tootie tumbled into the room.
"Oh, um, sorry?" she looked up sheepishly.
"Well, I'm not," Jeff stepped over her and into the room. "If you guys are so smart, how come you don't go after Trump's golf courses, huh? That man can't go two days without playing golf! You fuck up his golf courses… you fuck up the man!"
There was a silence.
"He's got a point," Murphy finally said.
"He does at that," another of George's men agreed.
"So… we're going after his golf courses now?" Blair asked.
"I've got to admit, it's a good idea," Jo laughed.
"Damn right!" Jeff held his hand out to Tootie and lifted her off the floor. "Yu'all just have to play dirty. Hit him where it hurts! That man's hands would be jonesing for a golf club in a matter of hours! Totally off balance!"
"This might be a good idea, in addition to our initial suggestion, Jo," George advised.
"We'll have to make a contingency plan for this," Jo nodded.
"Jeff, my man!" George slapped him on the back.
"Maybe," Tootie began in an offended tone, "You shouldn't be excluding us from your high and mighty plans! Remember that it was my boyfriend who thought of this!"
"All right then," Jo nodded. "I'll be looking for your input from now on!"
"Now, hold on a minute!" Jeff objected. "I don't need to be on your list of people you get advice from. I'm good with what I do… supporting my girl and such."
"Jeff?" Tootie eyed him incredulously.
"Babe?" he gave her quizzical look.
"We need to talk," she looked at the others in the room. "If you'll give us a minute."
"Sure," Jo shrugged.
"Jeff?" Tootie pulled him into the hallway. "Jo just asked for our input and you're turning her down?"
"My business is you, Babe," he kissed her. "There is no way I want in on this stuff Jo's got going on with the Resistance. It's messed-up white people's business."
"Jeff? No! It's our country, too!"
"Since when?" he laughed. "Maybe for you… you're mother a judge and all. But for the rest of us? They still shoot guys like me on the street first. Just because I'm black. This never was my country. At least not like it was for you."
"But, don't you see, Babe? If you keep thinking that way, it will never will be your country?"
"Maybe," he relented. "But, I don't want to be no part of Jo's underground business anyhow, except for to support her with what I do around the club."
"We'll discuss this more later," she insisted as she returned to the room and smiled. "Jeff and I would be happy to give you our input on a consistent basis."
"Good to know," Jo nodded.
Jo awoke with a start! Something was wrong. What was it? She looked around. Blair was beside her reading a book.
"What are ya doin', Blair? Why are you awake?"
"It's after ten, Jo. Why shouldn't I be awake?"
"Cause you never wake up before me!"
"Yeah, well, while you're keeping long hours at the club, I don't have a lot to do around here. Guess I'm not as tired as you."
"You should be going out, living the life I can't right now. It's not good for you hanging around here all the time."
Blair did not answer.
"So," Jo changed the subject. "What are you reading?"
"It's a poetry book."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yep. I figured maybe I could give you some pointers on your impromptu poetry if I brushed up a little."
Jo grinned as she relaxed back into the pillows and placed an arm behind her head. Her girlfriend was giving her a hard time, teasing her. This was actually a good sign.
"Listen to this, Jo: Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world. The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere the ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity."
"Yeah, yeah… The Second Coming by Yeats. It wasn't written for us. He wrote it about Ireland and the English oppression a century ago. C'mon, Blair."
"But like all good poetry," she cleared her throat as she gave a Jo a chastising glance. "It stands the test of time."
"Hey!," Jo glared at her. "I actually thought I was quite poetic the other night! Not Yeats, but… who is?"
Blair began reciting again: "The darkness drops again; but now I know that twenty centuries of stony sleep were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle. And what rough beast, its hour come round at last…"
"Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born," Jo finished the last line with her. "I know the poem well. It's not about us, Blair."
"Sure it is!" she protested. "The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity?"
Jo lifted herself so that she was resting on an elbow. She allowed the sheets to drop from her shoulders, revealing her bare breasts as she eyed Blair up and down seductively. "I'm full of passionate intensity," she raised her eyebrows hopefully.
"You're not taking me seriously," Blair complained as she slammed the book shut and set it on the nightstand.
"It's been a long time, Blair," Jo ran the back of her hand gently up and down her arm.
"I'm sorry, Babe," she apologized. "I just haven't been in the mood, ya know? It has nothing to do with you. It's just…" her voice faltered as she shook her head.
"I know, I know," Jo brushed her cheek with her hand. "No big deal."
"I'm sorry," Blair whispered.
"Hey, I've got an idea!" Jo sat up excitedly. "I'm figuring you could use a massage right about now! Oh, um," she suddenly hesitated. "Unless it's going to remind you of…"
"Theresa?" Blair finished her sentence. She took a deep breath as she reflected. She would actually love a massage. And Jo was very good at giving them: with strong hands and an intuitive sense of touch. She wasn't a professional. She was not Theresa. But, at this point, that was a good thing, right? Someone whom she was intimately familiar with massaging her body, was probably exactly what she needed. It might remind her of Theresa, but what didn't at this point? Turn down a massage? Just not in her DNA.
"I think I can handle it," she rolled over onto her stomach. Jo quickly reached for the scented oil they always kept on the nightstand… just in case. She had to consciously slow herself as she felt her heart beating fast within her. She pulled the covers off Blair, revealing her back and gorgeous ass. She moved her hair away from her neck before applying a generous amount of the oil to her hands, warming it as she rubbed them together. She applied the oil to every part of Blair's exposed skin. She knew from experience exactly how much pressure to use as she straddled her, slowly and methodically kneading the muscles on Blair's neck, over her shoulders, down her back, the whole time her own inner thighs and sex pressing against Blair's rear end. She made sure to keep her forearm resting on the small of Blair's back, so as not to break the touch, as she reapplied the oil to her hands. She began kneading her firm, well-rounded buttocks.
For her part, Blair was relishing every moment of this. Her muscles had been so tense. Jo was hitting all the right places, releasing tension from her neck, shoulders and back. God, she had missed this! She was also very away of Jo's inner thighs and sex making contact with her. She liked it… very erotic in an undemanding way. And when Jo dug into her tush? There was nothing like a good butt massage! She sighed audibly as Jo continued. This is heaven. As she felt her hands start to rub the back of her thighs and in between her legs, she was cognizant of herself becoming aroused, but in a dreamlike state, where she had no control. Her needs being met without her input… a fantasy.
"Do you want me to do your legs, Blair?" her voice seemed to come from a distance, awaking her from her daze. "Or do you want to turn over?"
Blair's answer was to roll over beneath her. Jo poured more oil onto her hands as she gazed at her lovely breasts. Her eyes drifted down to the exquisite triangle between her legs. Oh, God. Focus. She began massaging her shoulders and arms, resting each one upon her own shoulder as she did so. Finally, she made her way to her breasts. She kneaded each one individually in what she imagined was a very therapeutic manner until she couldn't help herself anymore and ran her hands over both, stroking, fondling, squeezing each nipple. Blair let out a little gasp. Not very calming, Jo chastised herself as she made her way down her torso, massaging her belly and hips. Finally, and at long last, there was no place else to go. She gently stroked the light brown triangle between her legs. Her fingers slid down until she parted drenched folds. Oh my, God. She is so wet! She stopped suddenly. What am I doing? What have I done? Am I violating her? She let her fingers rest where they had so uncontrollably wandered.
"Jo?" Blair opened her eyes and looked at her quizzically.
"I'm sorry, Blair. I shouldn't have. I just…"
"If you don't fuck me now, I'm going to kill you!"
"I thought you'd never ask," Jo gave her a huge grin. She parted her legs and gazed at her momentarily, so completely exposed before her, like an exotic and beautiful flower, inviting her in. She ran her fingers up and down her sex as Blair moaned softly. She gently fingered her engorged clitoris and then ran her fingers back towards her opening. She had to have it, to possess it, to completely plunder it! She slipped two fingers inside her as Blair let out another gasp. Her tongue hungrily sought out the center of her pleasure as she ravaged her: licking, sucking, fucking her. She felt herself becoming more and more aroused as she took in the scent and taste of her lover's sex. It was ambrosial to her, intoxicating. And no one else could ever have it! This was hers and hers alone. She slipped her entire hand inside in a possessive manner and immediately felt it enveloped by a soft, warm slickness as Blair's inner walls gripped it and pulsated. Her mouth, almost involuntarily, increased its attention as it wrapped around her swollen center rapidly flicking and sucking. She was rewarded with a cascade of tiny explosions on her tongue as Blair's body undulated with ripples of pleasure. She felt her hand being squeezed spasmodically as Blair called out in blissful release. Jo could feel her lover's body tremble and quiver before it finally relaxed against her hand and tongue. She rested her head on the triangle of hair between her legs and closed her eyes for a moment before she began to slowly withdraw her hand.
"No!" Blair called out. "Not yet."
"Again?" Jo looked up to her. There was no answer, but she knew Blair. This was a lover she had a lot of experience with. She immediately went back down on her, pumping her hand inside her seething, moist opening. Blair's release was intensified as she almost immediately cried out in ecstasy and her body shook uncontrollably.
"Oh God, Jo! Oh God!"
Jo felt the shivering undulations her partner was experiencing in every part of her body. She laid motionlessness, waiting to see if her lover was ready again.
"Again, Blair?" she finally asked.
"No. I'm good," she breathed heavily. "Go slow."
As Jo gently withdrew her hand, she ran it over her center. Blair immediately bucked up, her body taut, ready to explode once again. She fingered her clitoris as Blair erupted into another orgasm. Wow! She has missed this!
"Okay, okay, Jo," Blair took her hand and held it motionless against her sex. "I'm good now."
Jo kissed her way up her body until she met her lips. They exchanged a long, passionate kiss.
"I love you so much, Jo," Blair wrapped her in her arms and held her tight. "I couldn't get through any of this without you."
"Hey, that's what I'm here for," Jo kissed her cheek.
"So? Your turn?" Blair ran her hand over her breasts.
"It's okay, Blair. I don't expect you to do anything. I was happy just to give you pleasure."
"And so… if I did this?" Blair ran her hand down in-between Jo's legs.
"I, uh, wouldn't object?" Jo sighed as she felt Blair's fingers massaging her most private parts.
"You are so wet, Jo," she mentioned as she continued to manipulate her engorged center.
"Ohhh…," was all Jo could manage as her body lifted off the bed, overcome with a pulsating rapture.
Blair waited a heartbeat before she began again. As she manipulated the drenched space between Jo's legs, she took a nipple into her mouth. Jo's second orgasm was almost immediate. She cried out loudly: "Blair, Blair, Blair…" before relaxing into her arms. "Enough," she sighed. "I'm good."
"Are you sure?" Blair lifted an eyebrow.
"I'm sure, Babe. Just hold me."
Blair rocked Jo in her arms as they both drifted off into a relaxed slumber. The loud roar of a motorcycle engine shook them both out of their reverie.
"What the hell?" Jo's eyes flew open. "That sounds like my bike!"
Blair gave her a skeptical gaze. "All motorcycles sound alike."
"Nope. That's my bike!" Jo jumped out of bed and raced towards the window. She gazed down into the alley to see an amazing sight! There was her bike! She had crashed it on that horrible Saturday and had not been able to go back for it. Blair's driver, Danny, was seated upon it, yucking it up with Paulie. "What the hell?"
"Surprise," Blair yawned casually.
"What?" Jo turned to her.
"Apparently, you told Danny where you crashed your bike. He was feeling bad about what happened that day. Got a savior complex or something, I guess. So… he saved your bike. He and Paulie have been working on it since, to get it back into shape."
"Oh my God, I thought I had lost it forever! And you knew about this?"
"Surprise!" Blair repeated as she twirled her finger in the air in a dismissive manner.
"Wow, Blair, this is the greatest!" Jo kissed her before pulling on her jeans and a sweatshirt. "I can't believe this!"
"Jo!"
"What?" Jo stopped at the door.
"You smell like erotic massage oil and sex. You can't just run down there!"
"They're guys, Blair," Jo shrugged. "They'll never notice. Plus, that's my bike down there!"
"I will never understand this," Blair sighed deeply. "At least wash your hands and face and run a brush through your hair."
"Jesus, Blair. You're so demanding!" Jo complained as she headed for the bathroom.
"Hey!" Blair called after her. "You smell like sex with me! Not having it!"
Jo emerged from the bathroom a moment later, her face and hands scrubbed, and hair brushed. "Satisfied?"
"Your shoes are untied. Do you want to kill yourself tripping down the stairs?"
"You're worse than my mother," Jo grumbled as she sat on the edge of the bed to lace up her boots.
"Okay?" she stood in an exasperated manner with her arms lifted for inspection.
"Are you forgetting something?" Blair eyed her intently.
Jo gave herself the once over. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "What?!"
Blair turned her face to the window with a puppy dog look as she tapped her cheek.
"Oh yeah," Jo grinned sheepishly as she hopped onto the bed and kissed her cheek. "Thanks, Babe. You're the best! Are we good now?"
"Go!" Blair waved her off.
She watched as Jo hastily left the bedroom. She heard her run across the living space and exit out the door. Thrown over by the sound of a motor… a piece of machinery! She would never understand this. She picked up her poetry book from the nightstand: Turning and turning in the widening gyre, the falcon cannot hear the falconer…"
The following Sunday, Jo convinced Blair to go out: walk through the town, like they used to do before all the troubles began. Things certainly had changed in Trump's America. NRA sanctioned gun shops had opened up and down the streets of Manhattan with barkers out front:
"Hey! Are you an Incel? Women won't fuck you? Get your revenge here!"
"Don't like school? Teachers getting you down? Classmates ignoring you? Fully automated weapons available! Our thoughts and prayers are with you!"
"Are you molested by gays? Hate those gay voices inside your head? Shoot it out!"
And then there was the always reliable: "Wanna' kill Muslims and immigrants? We got all you need right here!"
"This is so appalling, Jo," Blair cringed as they passed the barkers.
"I know, right? It's like all the sex shops turned into gun shops."
"Hey, look!" Blair called out. "There's a video arcade. Kid's stuff. Let's go in there."
They walked past isles and isles of kids engaged in shooting games before they came to a dance machine.
"Let's do the Dance, Dance Revolution!" Blair enthused.
Jo was not thrilled at the prospect, but she went along with it seeing as her girlfriend was actually excited about something. They stood side-by-side on the footpads as the music began. Blair effortlessly followed the lighted footpads as Jo struggled to keep up. Eventually, Jo caught up with the rhythm and began dancing in sync beside her. People gathered around as they continued and clapped their hands to the music. They both laughed. It became a moment of shear, unbridled joy for both of them.
"That was amazing," Blair laughed as the music stopped. She gave Jo a huge hug.
"It was," Jo agreed, still smiling.
The crowd that had assembled while they danced now gathered around Blair.
"You're Blair Warner!" someone said.
"Well, yes, I am," Blair put her hand to her chest in a falsely demure manner as she batted her eyes. Jo had seen this affection many times before. She shook her head as people demanded selfies with her girlfriend. Blair posed and smiled with each one, soaking in all the attention.
"Wow! I got a picture with Trump's girl," she heard one mention as he walked away.
"Hey! I'm not Trump's girl!" Blair called after him before looking helplessly at Jo.
"C'mon, forget it," Jo threw her arm around her. "Let's get some ice cream."
"Um, okay," Blair agreed.
Jo checked her watch as they proceeded up the street. "Should be right on time," she mumbled to herself.
"I heard that, Jo. Right on time for what?" Blair took her arm and stopped her before they entered the ice cream shop.
"Nothing, Blair, c'mon," Jo took her hand and led her inside. They stood before the assorted ice creams and gazed up at the menu. "So, whadda' ya want? It's on me!"
"Big spender, huh?" Blair nudged her.
"Blair! Blair!" a voice called out from behind her. She turned barely in time to catch Ruben, Valeria's little brother, as he jumped into her arms. He hugged her tight as she fell against the glass partition protecting the ice cream.
"Ruben!" Arianna ran after him. "Stop! You will hurt her!"
"It's okay," Blair laughed as she kissed the boy's head and gave Arianna a heartfelt hug. "What are you guys doing here?" she flashed Jo a dubious look.
"We came to see you," Valeria stepped up behind her sister. "Since you've been hiding out and won't return texts."
She eyed Valeria for a long moment. She had been hiding, from her friends, from her family, from the world! She had kept to herself and Jo and the small circle of people already hiding at Salacious Showers since Theresa's death. But as she gazed at her friend, her eyes began to well with tears. She hadn't realized it until this moment, but she had really missed her.
"It's so good to see you," her voice barely a whisper.
"Get over here then," Valeria opened her arms. Blair fell into her embrace. They both cried as they held each other tight.
"I'm so sorry I haven't called you," Blair whispered to her. "I have missed you!"
"I know that," Valeria stated confidently as she kissed her cheek. She gathered their hands together in front of them and looked her into her eyes. "I missed you, too, Blair," she kissed her lips. They rested their foreheads together and both closed their eyes.
"Well, okay then," Jo cleared her throat as she placed her hand on Blair's arm. "So happy you're both happy, but enough with the hugging, kissing stuff."
"I have missed you, too, Jo!" Valeria wrapped her in a tight hug.
"C'mon," Jo objected. "Enough with the mushy stuff. The others are waiting."
"The others?" Blair questioned apprehensively.
"Come, Blair," Valeria grabbed her hand and led her across the crowded establishment.
"I'll just get you a chocolate sundae, then!" Jo called after them.
"Oh my God," Blair placed her hand to her lips as they approached the table. Valeria's Mom was waiting for them with Bridget and Blake: Theresa's mother and brother.
"Maria tells me you've been hiding away," Bridget nodded towards V's mother. "We can't have that, Blair." She rose to embrace her. They both wept freely.
"It is so good to see you out and about," Maria smiled as she rubbed Bridget's back.
"Oh, I have missed all of you, really I have," Blair blubbered as she hugged Maria. "I just haven't been up to socializing lately."
"Hi, Blair!" Blake jumped up to join in the hug.
"I missed you, too," she kissed him. "This is so nice, to see you all."
"Jo thought it was a good idea," Valeria mentioned.
"Jo, huh?"
"Yeah, Jo," her girlfriend showed up with a couple of chocolate sundaes.
"What am I going to do with you?" Blair shook her head affectionately.
"Eat some ice cream, I hope," she gave her a shrug and grin as she nudged her towards the booth with her hip.
"We have much to discuss," Valeria squeezed in beside them. "I am leaving on tour soon. I will need your help with my family."
"We will discuss this later, Chiquita," Maria informed. "Over dinner. It is Sunday night, a time for family, and I won't take no for an answer. I have prepared a feast!"
"Damn, Maria can cook!" Jo slid into bed beside Blair.
"One never leaves hungry," she agreed.
"So?" Jo turned to her questioningly. "Are you going to do what was talked about tonight?"
"Of course! I'm going to buy Bridget a house and get Blake into a private school. I mean, it was a tough sell, but Maria helped to convince her."
"Not that," Jo swatted her arm. "Are you going to move back into the penthouse and let V's family stay with you while she's gone?"
"I don't know," Blair sighed. "I mean, I'd like to help, but…"
"But what? You know they're still worried about ICE and such until all their paperwork gets officially cleared. And even then: people are being stopped and questioned just for speaking Spanish these days. It would be a great help to have you as protection while V's gone."
"I'm surprised you're down with this, Jo," Blair lifted herself upon her arm to face her. "I mean, I would be living with Valeria's family, ya know?"
"Why would I have a problem with that?"
"I kind of got the impression you were still a little jealous of her sometimes."
"I did notice the extended hug and kiss today," Jo exhaled slowly. "Wasn't diggin' that."
"Listen. No one can separate me from you but you, got that? You've managed to do that quite well all on your own on more than one occasion."
"I know, I know. I'm sorry."
"But Valeria is completely sexy," Blair gave her a coy look. "You must've noticed that. She would be amazing to…"
"Blair!" Jo cut her off.
"See! That's what I mean! You're jealous! Why would you be in favor of her family moving in with me?"
"Cuz she's going to be half way around the world on tour in Asia, duh," Jo rolled her eyes. "She's no threat from there. Plus, I like her family."
"You like her, too, Jo. Admit it."
"Yeah," Jo grimaced. "Maybe a little. Have you heard her new song?"
"Oh, um, no," Blair looked a little guilty.
"It's amazing, Blair. I mean, fucking amazing. She's like in a zone creatively. I can't believe you haven't even listened to it seeing as you want to have sex with her and all. You've been out of it for too long, now. Time to rejoin life."
"Won't you miss me?" Blair gave her a little pout.
"Of course I will," she answered honestly. Jo pondered this for a moment. She did love having Blair back with her every day. She loved coming to bed in the wee hours, after long, exhausting nights at the club, to find Blair waiting for her in bed. Most times, she was already asleep. But that didn't matter. She was comforted by her mere presence: just the fact that she was there. She loved waking up with her. Most mornings, they would cuddle and talk for a while before starting their day. She cherished these moments: holding Blair, running her hands over her soft, perfect skin, being wrapped up in a loving embrace, surrounded by blankets and pillows and golden hair. It was a brief respite from the pressures of her stressful life; an intimate, protective cocoon. Mornings were also when they found the time to make love. Not that they did that every day like when they first got together all those years ago. But, often enough now that Blair had snapped out of it somewhat, Jo figured.
These are selfish thoughts, Jo chastised herself internally. Blair needs to get back out into the world. This is no kind of life for her here.
"I will miss you every moment," she offered. "But that's not the point. You need to get out of here, live your life again."
"With V's family?"
"With whatever you want. See other friends. Go out and have a good time."
"I don't have any other friends, Jo. At least not ones who don't hate me because I'm Trump's Girl, or are going out on tour, or are dead, or are locked up here!"
"Hey! Nobody's locked up here!"
"Whatever. But as far as living with V's family is concerned? I'm not sure I could live with Maria. She's such a Mom, ya know? She'd probably want to know what time I was going to be home every night and what I was doing."
"She's V's Mom, Blair. I'm pretty sure she's used to independent young women and what the boundaries are. Besides, what time you're home and what you've been doing is my business, got it?"
"Ha!" Blair rolled over on top of her, sliding her leg into her crouch. "You think you own me?"
"Or you own me," Jo quickly amended. "I'm good either way."
Blair placed a gentle kiss upon her lips.
"That was nice," Jo looked at her quizzically. "I mean, I was expecting…"
Blair rested her head at the base of her neck as she ran her hand over her shoulder, across her breasts, then down her side.
"What you did today was so kind, so unexpected," she ran her hand back up her side and gently fondled her breast again. "It was just what I needed."
"Hey, I can be nice, you know," Jo protested weakly.
"You never stop surprising me," Blair lifted her head and gazed lovingly into her eyes. She tilted her chin towards her and kissed her softly.
"Yeah, well, I thought you might be getting a little bored with me and the company around here. You do need to get out more."
"You're my guardian angel, Jo."
"That would presuppose a belief in God," Jo pointed out, jokingly.
"Now you're just asking for it," Blair swatted her bare hip with a slap.
"Oh, I hope so…" was all Jo could get out before Blair was upon her mouth with a passionate kiss.
"That's all your getting tonight," Blair rolled off her as she slid her hand between her legs.
"I would not expect anything more," Jo sighed as Blair continued to massage her nether regions.
"Just so you know," Blair's fingers made a prolonged, exploratory journey through Jo's moist sex. "You're not getting me tonight."
"Oh God, Blair… no. How could I expect that?" her body began to writhe. "Oh God."
"Tell me how much you love me," Blair demanded as she halted her assault on Jo's sex.
"More than anything, more than anyone?" Jo gazed at her plaintively.
"Good girl," Blair took an erect nipple into her mouth as her fingers plunged into Jo's sex again.
"Oh Blair," Jo breathed out huskily as she thrashed against lover's hand, her release overcoming her.
"Jeez, Blair," she relaxed as she grabbed her hand and held it against her sex. "You're such an asshole."
"Excuse me?"
"You tell me I can't have you tonight… then you make me come?"
"Again and again, Baby," Blair kissed her neck as her fingers rocked Jo into ecstasy once more. "I can make you come all night… forever. Don't ever forget that."
There was nothing that Jo loved more than the feeling of Blair's fingers upon her sex. She loved being violated by Blair… just being open to her, having her ravage her down there: the girl she had loved to hate, the woman she had hated to love because of how completely, utterly desperate it felt … it was heaven. Passionate love with Blair was bent in a way she just could not resist and would never recover from; even if she wanted to…
"So, what do you have planned for tomorrow?"
It was an innocuous question, one that she should've been able to answer easily. But nothing in Jo's life was easy at this point.
"I've got this meeting. Nothing you would be interested in."
Blair began fingering her again. Jo's release came quickly.
"Try me," she kissed her cheek.
"That's so manipulative, Blair, geez," Jo complained half-heartedly.
"I can keep it up all night, Jo. You know that," she brought her to orgasm once again.
"Okay! Okay! You're killing me here," Jo halted her assault as she grabbed her hand once again. "It's at this secret place, one I don't have permission for you to see… or I would take you."
"That's kind of bullshit, Jo. You promised to include me in everything," she fingered her sex once again.
"Oh yessss!," Jo called out as her body spasmed. "I promised I would, if I could. It's just that…"
"You don't totally trust me," Blair entered her.
"Jesus," Jo whispered as she relished the feeling of Blair inside her. As her eyes drifted back into her head and her body bucked up once again, she reflexively gyrated against her lover's hand as it found that special spot inside her. There was no calling out to the heavens, no loud scream of ecstasy, rather a prolonged high-pitched moan as she shuttered in absolute rapture.
"What you do to me, Blair," she finally exhaled hoarsely.
"I know, I know," Blair slowly removed her drenched hand. She gave her a slight smirk. "A little bit better than an evening constitutional after a large meal, I guess."
"A little…" Jo rolled her eyes and laughed. "That was a workout. I definitely burned off some calories tonight. A horizontal constitutional?"
"So, you don't have to tell me where you're going tomorrow," Blair sighed forlornly as she rolled over onto her back and placed a hand behind her head casually. "I wouldn't want you to get into trouble with the powers-that-be, or anything."
"I don't know what to tell you but what I've already said."
"It's okay, really. I give up, okay?" Blair relaxed beside her and fell silent.
"Wait. What? You're giving up?" Jo asked curiously. She never gives up! "So, um, all that sex wasn't to try and influence me?"
"Oh my God, Jo! When have I ever had to influence you through sex? Who cares about your silly little secret meeting anyway? I'm completed insulted!" Blair turned her back to Jo dramatically.
Jo, realizing she had made a misstep that could escalate quite rapidly, quickly backtracked. "I was just kidding, Blair."
"I mean, what if I was just so happy with you today that I wanted to show my love in a truly intimate manner? In a way where you felt completely taken care of without having to worry about reciprocating?" Blair spoke in an offended manner with her face towards the nightstand.
"Yeah, completely. I get that," Jo agreed. "But, um, I never mind reciprocating, just so you know. Plus, you did kind of interrogate me in between um…"
"Making you come?" Blair rolled over onto her back again.
"Yeah… that."
"Did I? I was just teasing," Blair bit her lip lightly. "God, I'm sorry if it came off that way. I would never want to do that to you."
"Really?"
Blair stared at the ceiling. "Do you really want to know why I made you come so many times tonight, Jo? It's because I can. I enjoy giving pleasure to women. And I happen to really like girls, in case you haven't noticed."
"Oh, I've noticed," Jo rolled her eyes.
"And you're my girl," Blair turned to face her.
Did she just say that? It wasn't like Jo questioned it, but she had at times felt more than a little insecure with her girlfriend's appetite for other women. Of course she knew Blair was hers. But to hear her say it in such a simple, unaffected manner? Meant everything. Especially after sex. That's what she worried about the most… not being enough for her in the bedroom after all the other women she had been with. Jo felt her heart well up with love. She wanted to say something profound… poetic. She thought the better of it. That would probably just get her into trouble again.
"Jeez, Blair, thanks. That's all I want to be, you know?"
"What?"
"Your girl."
"No one could ever take your place," Blair kissed her shoulder. "I told you that."
"And you're really giving up on finding out about my meeting tomorrow?"
"Yes," Blair gave her a serious glance. "Like I said, I don't want you to get into trouble on my account."
Jo gazed at her face. She looked so sincere. This was a side of Blair most people didn't know and wouldn't guess at: her sincerity. She was a genuinely good person. Hell, she was a great person: brave, compassionate, understanding. And, somehow, in moments like these, just impossibly sweet and earnest. She gazed at her adorable face and knew she could not deny her anything… ever.
"It's dangerous," she sighed.
"Then I'm going?" Blair glanced at her expectantly.
"Yeah, sure," Jo shook her head as she smiled.
"Danger is my business!" Blair grabbed her gun from the nightstand drawer.
"Whoa!" Jo called out, alarmed. "Put the firearm down, okay?"
"Um, okay. Anything for you, Babe," Blair kissed her cheek, replaced the gun and snuggled in beside her.
"Anything for you," she whispered as she squeezed her tight.
What just happened? Jo pondered for a moment before another thought occurred to her…
What have I done?