041 - Experience

When Vexen met Marluxia, his life changed completely.

Tonight Marluxia's hands were explorers; one palm was pressed flat against the tall blonde's shoulder blade, the fingers of the other resting lax between Vexen's waistband and the taught skin of his lower stomach. Marluxia himself was propped up against Vexen's side, nose shielded neatly in the crook of his neck, and one knee pressed between Vexen's leg. In the darkness of the night, Vexen could hear and feel each warm breath as Marluxia slept, softly and peacefully. He could be a child the way he'd sometimes snuffle and shift, or mumble nonsense into Vexen's hair.

Vexen was not accustomed to sleeping with other people and for the first week or so after actually moving into bed with Marluxia he'd felt tense and awkward, like any slight movement would disturb the younger man. He was lucky, though; Marluxia slept like a pig. Vexen accidentally kicked him out of the bed once and Marluxia had even slept through his attempts to pull the shorter - but unfortunately heavier - man back onto the mattress. Vexen had failed and felt so terrible that he'd slept on the floor with his boyfriend. When Marluxia had woken up in the morning, tangled in limbs and the duvet, he'd just laughed so sweetly that Vexen found it hard to believe that this man made a living out of being fucked senseless on camera.

There were moments, Vexen thought, when Marluxia didn't seem like a porn star. He ate toast for breakfast just like any normal person. His wide-eyed wonder at anything he couldn't explain was identical to that of a young child. He was flawed and human and optimistically naive, and sometimes Vexen could fathom no correlation between the Marluxia that slept in this bed and the Marluxia that moaned and screamed for the masturbators sitting at their computer screens or the Marluxia that adorned the walls of this room with half-lidded eyes and few clothes on if any at all.

But there were other times when Marluxia's profession shone through - quite a few times, actually. Like Marluxia's startling ability to go from fully clothed to naked in less than ten seconds, or Marluxia's guilty habit of cracking crass innuendos every other sentence. Some things weren't really so noticeable - Vexen wouldn't have picked them up if he didn't know - like the way Marluxia kissed, open and wet as though for the benefit of some third party and not his own personal satisfaction. That had changed over time, Vexen had noted thoughtfully. Five months in, Marluxia's kisses had become more intimate, and not just because the two of them were growing closer. It was... nice.

There were certain things that Vexen had never even dreamed of that Marluxia introduced him to, as well. Toys. Vexen found them one afternoon hoovering Marluxia's room (because somebody had to do it), and out of curiosity he'd tugged a plastic box out from under the bed to find it stuffed with... things... Marluxia had cheerfully offered a demonstration with painfully blunt explanations to a few of the objects that Vexen didn't recognise, and Vexen had politely denied. He seemed to have a very different view of that kind of thing to Marluxia, which was no wonder, really, but even if Marluxia was okay with shoving all manner of things up his arse Vexen wasn't sure if he wanted to watch.

But there were some things that Vexen wasn't allowed to escape. Like that time that Marluxia came home brandishing a tube of something and grinning, turning all the lights out and cheerfully introducing Vexen to the wonders of Glow In The Dark Lube. There wasn't any sex involved, because Vexen still didn't feel ready for that, but there was quite a lot of naked and floating, glowing hand prints and writing messages on each other's chests, and loathe as he was to admit it Vexen had sort of enjoyed the spontaneous intimacy. Not to mention the memory of Marluxia wonkily writing a cheerful "Fuck me" on his own belly. Vexen didn't.

There was also the Gray Rabbit, whose regulars normally didn't bother with the R. After a few weeks of pretending to be too tired or too disinterested to join Marluxia every Friday and Saturday (and sometimes every other day of the week, too), Marluxia had dragged Vexen down in a smart enough shirt and jeans with the rest of the gang - it still made Vexen blush knowing that Marluxia had had sex with every one of them, multiple times - to the local gay bar. Everybody knew them all and Vexen had felt ridiculously self concious as Marluxia introduced him to a hundred homosexual faces and a few rather disturbed looking straight ones who had been forced along by their friends. He'd actually squeaked when somebody groped him and hadn't been able to resist the urge to hide his head in his hands as Marluxia fended the drunken punter away with a few threats about heads and arses that Vexen was sure nobody wanted to contemplate the logistics of. He'd been pretty scared by everything that night, even if the bartender was sympathetic. He'd offered Vexen a few words of friendly advice about Marluxia, namely Marluxia and drinking and sex, which the blonde wasn't sure if he was relieved or disturbed by.

Another new experience, aside from all the places that Marluxia deemed appropriate to lick, was actually visiting the man at work. After some internal debate, Vexen had decided that hell, Marluxia would never survive celibacy and the last thing Vexen wanted was the man fapping himself to death or getting caught trying to hump a stranger. So it was a bit strange having a boyfriend who had more sex with other people than him, but Vexen brushed that aside because it kept Marluxia happy and Vexen unpressured. Not that Vexen could fight the curiosity of Googling Marluxia's name one day, and after he turned off safe search he suddenly found out more about Marluxia's private anatomy than he was really sure he wanted to. It was gorgeous, of course - hell, Marluxia worked in porn for a reason - but it was a disturbing kind of creepy to see it on the internet. That was, however, nothing compared to the creepy kind of disturbing that was seeing it in real life. Vexen'd had the afternoon off work - carbon monoxide spill - so he thought it would be a good idea to pick Marluxia up. And... needless to say Vexen had never experienced such surrealism as watching his boyfriend being filmed with three other people and doing things that Vexen would certainly never dream of being involved in. Marluxia was apologetic - apparently that was unusually hardcore - and gave Vexen plenty of naked kisses in return. Vexen didn't really want those kinds of stains on his suit, but Marluxia knew a way to get everything out. And then there was a tour of the studio and more sex than Vexen had ever witnessed in his life.

And suddenly Vexen was experiencing naked cuddling, groping in public, kisses in the rain, watching porn with the star right beside him, hair straighteners, gay bars, tight leather underwear, make up, drag queens, homoerotica, getting distracted trying to bake a cake, sharing showers, sharing beds, shaving leg hair, tips on how to give the perfect blow job, free wi-fi at Starbucks, Marluxia getting stuck at work because they lost the key to the handcuffs, alcohol, dancing, more naked cuddling, sun bathing, fighting over the duvet, brewing the right coffee at six o'clock in the morning and sex.

Oh, sweet, glorious, perfect, painful messy intimate wonderful sex. It was an idle Friday evening sometime in May when the sun was still clinging to the horizon, when Vexen found his back to Marluxia's pink mattress with two hands either side of his chest. It was that moment, looking into crystalline clear blue eyes, that Vexen suddenly realised that it was time. His whole body shivered and yearned for exposure, and Marluxia knew with the pop of a neat row of buttons and a tongue to follow. Vexen felt torn between keeping his eyes locked on the every slight movement of the other man, or pressing his head back into the frilled-pillow with his eyes clenched shut to let the feelings wash over his body. Eventually his decision was made for him with well manicured hands finding his arms, leading them upwards onto an already naked back.

"Come on. It's no fun if I'm the only one going at it."

And Vexen knew that Marluxia knew too, that this was the time and this was it, and dimly he wondered if Marluxia with a life full of the mad sha-bang of sex knew just how much this meant to him. It seemed, as a kiss-lick led to Vexen's lips and two stomachs brushed, ever so softly, against each other, like he did.

Here, now, knowing by some instinct that he didn't realise he possessed that raising his knees just so was the right thing to do, Vexen would gaze into Marluxia's eyes and think that maybe even if his whole life was barriers against people like this, and Marluxia's whole life was barriers against people like him, they were somehow like yin and yang always supposed to be together. And when Marluxia laughed that there ought to be a remote control in the bedroom to fill up the bath ready for after-sex, Vexen knew that he very certainly hoped so.

From my old fanfic Perfect, again, where Marluxia's a porn star and Vexen's a prude. A few things in here I've been wanting to write for quite a while XDD