A/N Sorry. That's all I have to say. I haven't had a break in school since I last posted. So I'm sorry. But today was my first day off, and I wrote this for you. Consider it a peace offering. By the way, I don't know if I'll survive the lack of S.H.I.E.L.D. Because the last episode was amazing, but have I mentioned how much I don't want FitzSimmons to be a thing? I really don't like it. And everyone was like, "oh, no we're just playing it as brother and sister." and now, it's just weird. Grr. Anyway, rant over. Sorry, and enjoy. (Still don't own.)
Coulson raced over to her body, picking her up, trying not to hurt her. He carried her up four flights of stairs before he was on ground level. 'Come on Elizabeth.' He whispered, his voice strained. 'Don't do this. Come back.' Noting bodies of Hydra agents on the ground, he ran outside, an ambulance already in front of the building. He yelled at the paramedics until they took them in the vehicle to the nearest hospital. The rest of the team followed behind in one of the vans, and met Coulson in the waiting room.
They were surrounded by normal people, just people going about their normal lives, pregnant women waiting for a checkup, children crying over small cuts or broken bones, or husbands anxiously waiting for any news whatsoever. Coulson paced impatiently, despite nurses wanting to look over him, because of a bleeding nose, a broken rib, or possibly the crazed look in his eyes, the undying fear in his expression, the tortured glances. He paced the room for an hour, the team looking on. After a nerve racking hour, a doctor walked in.
'Excuse me, where is Mr Phil Coulson?' He stood up and raced over to her. 'You came in with a woman?' He nodded. 'Are you related?'
'No. I'm with S.H.I.E.L.D though.' He held up his badge.
'But she isn't. I'm sorry, we can't release information to non-family members. I just wanted to take you to her, because she's asking for you.' Relief flooded over his face, and the nurse smiled at him. 'What's her name?'
'Elizabeth Marks.' He followed her like a lost puppy.
'Matt?' She asked shakily. He sat in a chair next to her head and held her hand.
'I'm here.' He brushed a strand of hair out of her face. 'This is a reversal of roles, isn't it?' He chuckled. She looked confused. 'Don't worry. I'm sorry.' She shook head slightly.
'Phil. Thanks for the help.' She trailed off, her eyes barely open. He leant over and placed a small kiss on her brow, letting her fall asleep, his hand still entangled with hers.
When Harper awoke, she was in a S.H.I.E.L.D hospital, Coulson still beside her, reading a book aloud. 'Jane Eyre.' She mused. He looked up at her, startled. 'What?'
'You're awake.' He stated.
'How long have I been out?'
'Three days.' She sat up straighter.
'Can I leave?'
'I'm not a doctor.' He smiled painfully. She looked at him blankly. 'I'll go get one, shall I?'
As soon as he left, her room filled with the other five agents.
'How are you?' Skye asked.
'Peachy.' She winced as she rearranged her pillows. The other agents weren't sure what to say so Fitz improvised,
'Amdiof's dead. You're on the news, people want to meet you.'
'I think they might have to wait a little while. Sorry, who are you?' She asked Simmons, Skye, May and Ward. Skye looked hurt, but Simmons just smiled at her and told her kindly. May looked like she'd gone though this too many times before.
Coulson walked back in with the doctor. 'Okay, your, forgetfulness has nothing to do with the head trauma. It's really interesting actually. We've done some tests on your brain, and apart from a little bruising at the moment, there's nothing that would cause that amount of amnesia. So, some of my friends working in the psych ward can't wait to help you get your memory back, and I know your team here also want to help.'
'I'm not a fucking psychopath.'
'No, but you are a mass murderer.' Ward stated. 'No one has gone that far undercover before.'
'I'm an assassin. Different thing. But at least someone's honest here.'
'Right, well, you can go home, if you promise to rest, and keep the bandages on your shoulder clean. I don't know what happened there, but it was like a whole knife was stuck in there at some point. There were glass shards in your back, but we got them out. We had to ruin that suit of yours, sorry. The public will probably want that back.' Skye gave her a bag of clothes, then everyone exited the room.
'Coulson.' She called softly. He turned around, and realised she probably needed help. 'What was our relationship before?'
'We were together. Had been for a few months.'
'Did I love you?' He nodded slightly.
'Yeah, we loved each other.'
'I guess that's why I feel, safe, when your here.' He nodded.
'Would you like a hand? Getting stabbed hurts like a bitch.' She laughed lightly, and bit her lip, walking with him into the bathroom, and pulling off the hospital gown. He was aware that she wasn't as comfortable with him as she previously was, so he was more aware of her privacy, but also couldn't be too concerned with it, he was putting her bra on, after all. She was dressed in a pair of denim shorts and a singlet tee, her wounds very visible. She put her arm around Coulson's waist as they slowly walked out of the building.
'That's her!' Someone screamed, and immediately, they were surrounded by hundreds of cameras and recorders, people from every news station around the world.
'What's your name?'
'Are you one of the Avengers now?'
'Who is he?'
'Are you together?'
'My name is Shadow. I'm not an Avenger. His name is Agent Coulson. That's all folks.' Coulson covered for her when the crowd didn't react kindly to her words. 'There are reasons that she should be revered, but I can't tell you why. All I can tell you is that she saved the whole world yesterday, from being enslaved, or killed. There will be a more formal interview held soon, thank-you.' He pushed past everyone, and realising she couldn't walk that fast, he picked her up, and put her gently down in Lola. He drove off to a place she didn't know, not that it surprised her anymore.
'What is this place?'
'Well, we had to be in the city a lot more than usual, so I bought myself an apartment. You've never been here. He told her quietly, letting her lean on him as they walked into the apartment. It was modest, it wasn't one of the new modern ones, but it had everything anyone would need in it.
'I put all your stuff in the wardrobe, and your books are there,' he pointed towards a shelf. 'I even bought some vegemite.' She smiled slightly.
'Thanks. For everything you said earlier as well. What did you mean?'
'All the people you killed, they worked for the Rising Tide. That doesn't completely make it okay, but it wasn't for nothing.'
'I still killed people, parents Phil.' She used his name as if it was new, as if it had never been tasted on her tongue before.
'I know, what are you going to do about it?' He asked, knowing what Elizabeth would do, but wondering how Harper would react.
'I have a lot of money. From them, and I have, an offshore account somewhere. Do you have my laptop?' He looked confused, but brought it out anyway. She looked on it for a while, while Coulson made her a coffee and a sandwich, and she eventually found what she was looking for. 'Here we are. Password here.' She mumbled. 'Six million dollars.' She said.
'What? I don't even think I'm surprised you have six million dollars lying around.' He stated truthfully.
'I was a grifter, right? I was good, I think.' She tried to remember, but other than that obscure fact, there was nothing.
'You were the best.' He confirmed.
'So, I'll donate this, and the money I got from BioCorp. And I can do charity work.'
'That sounds good. But you know what? Working for S.H.I.E.L.D is helping people. Everyday, you're saving lives. I don't think you know how many lives you saved when you took down Hydra. And you did that singlehandedly.'
'I had help from you.'
'No. No you didn't. You got to the top of that company, you did that by yourself, I wouldn't have thought of the closing your eyes thing, and you did it without any outside help. Usually undercover, people go in pairs, or have contacts in the company, you didn't.'
'I had Fitz.' She tried to reason.
'Who you talked to twice a week.' He stated, sighing, he added, 'It's late, you should get some sleep.'
'What's my favourite movie?'
'Catch Me if You Can.' He smiled.
'Is it good?'
'You love it.'
'Of course I do. Can we watch it?' He nodded, smiling. They were on opposite ends of the couch, but Harper lay down, with her feet in Coulson's lap. He smiled, and took one into his hand, drawing small circles on her sole.
'You still awake?' There was no answer from him. She smiled as she looked over at him, fast asleep. She grabbed a blanket off the bed and put it over the top of them both, as she snuggled into his side. He automatically lifted his arm so she could get more comfortable.
They awoke the next morning, in the same position. Coulson had missed this. Just being with her. Waking up and seeing her first thing. 'Matt? Why are you still here?' She mumbled. 'Go 'way.' She groaned, pushing Coulson in the stomach gently. But for someone with a broken rib, it hurt more than she had intended. He hissed, and she looked up at him.
'Morning.' She jumped up immediately.
She looked around, not recognising the place. 'Where am I? Where's Matt? Max? Oh, god, Max. I killed him. I killed Max.' She whimpered, crumpling to the floor. Coulson knelt down next to her.
'Who's Max?'
'He was just a boy. He was only 18. And I killed him. He was so nice, he helped me so much. No, he helped me kill so many people. Does that make him bad? Does that make me bad? I am bad, it's my fault, I killed him.' She whispered.
'It's not your fault. You're not bad.' He reassured her.
'What the fuck do you know? You don't know shit about me.' She screamed. 'You do. You know me more than me. You know me. You know who I am. You know what I am. I'm a monster.' Coulson gathered her in his arms, cradling her head against his chest.
'You're not a monster. You're Elizabeth Marks.'
'No. I'm Harper Scott.'
'Who is Harper Scott?' He asked calmly.
'She's an assassin, a vegan, and loves NFL.'
'Do you like any of those things?'
'I love steak. And AFL is so much better. I don't like killing people either.'
'That is Elizabeth Marks talking. Harper got on a high from killing, Elizabeth felt regret, for months. That's how I know you'll be okay. Because you want to help people again.' She relaxed into his embrace.
After she had calmed down considerably, they were interrupted by a knock on the door, Coulson stood, answering it.
'Director, Stark.' He greeted.
'Where is she?' Tony asked. She stood off the couch and walked gingerly over to the entrance.
'Morning.' She smiled, tears wiped away, breathing stabilised.
'You are the epitome of insanity. I can't believe it worked, but you know what? Most fun I've had in ages. You should plan our parties more often.' Tony offered, poking Coulson skeptically as he walked into the apartment.
'What are you guys doing here?' Coulson asked, rolling his eyes at Tony.
'People are clamouring for you to be the newest avenger. They've made T-shirts.' Fury stated dryly.
'No.' She replied immediately.
'You seem to act like you have a choice.'
Tony started to smooth over, 'You really only have to be part of the club once every two years, at most. Unless something wakes up in your backyard, but other than that, there's a few press things, and nothing else.'
'Can't I just be an agent?'
'She's right Director. She's given up enough. If she doesn't want to do this, she shouldn't have to.'
'So you'll pass up the opportunity to be Fury's fifth right hand man in S.H.I.E.L.D?' Tony asked. 'There are perks. Bigger pay, more freedom, little kids will look up to you, the girls are drawn to you, and you get to hang out with a bunch of stuck up men, and woman.'
'Think of the little girls who just want a strong female role model.' Fury added.
'I don't really need the girls to be drawn to me, thanks Tony, and can I just have some time to think?'
'Nope. Your first meeting with the press starts in two hours. You'll have to do it even if you don't take up the offer.'
'Do I stay with Coulson's team if I join?'
'No, you'll be on contracts like Agent Romanoff.'
'That's a definite no then.'
'Okay, but if the apocalypse comes, I'm calling you.' Tony said, relaxing on the couch like it was his own.
'Who am I in the interview?' She asked, brushing out her long, blonde hair in front of a mirror. She watched as Coulson walked in with a large black box, opened it, and offered it to her, he said,
'I'm going to assume Shadow. Unless you have some strange pastimes you want to admit to?' Inside was the uniform she had used as Harper, black and skin
tight.
'At least I don't have to do my make-up.' She smiled faintly.
'Does it bother you, being back in this costume? Cause you could probably get away with wearing something else.'
She paused, eventually electing to ask, 'Do you know how many weapons I could conceal in that?'
'Looking at it, not many, but my instincts tell me it's around a million.' He grimaced, handing it to her.
'Seventeen. Not including the ones I put in my hair.'
'Let's not take that many today.' He said as she put the hairbrush down. He reached down, and ran his fingers through her hair, feeling the softness beneath his fingers. She looked at him, and he quickly put his hand by his side. 'Sorry. I shouldn't,'
'No, it's okay. We were together for a while, right?'
'We were apart for longer.' He mumbled.
'That must have been hard.' She replied quietly. Feeling bad that it hadn't been hard for her. 'I'm sorry I can't remember. I want to. I remember feeling, happy, safe, loved. I still feel that when I'm with you.'
'Good, you should. Don't leave again please. I barely coped the first time you left.'
'I looked at your record. You finished more cases in the past year than most teams do in two.'
'I was keeping my mind off other things. Off you.' He paused, taking a seat across from her.
'Tell me a story. About us.' So he spent the next half hour telling her about the day they met. She closed her eyes and leaned back in the chair, and just before he finished, she leaned forward with a start,
'May shot me. With an ICER. I remember.' Coulson grinned at her,
'You looked so different back then. You had really curly, red hair, You were leaner, less muscular, and your teeth weren't quite as white. They're nearly blinding now.'
'So that's the only thing they changed? I had all these scars before too?'
'Just the four?' He asked.
'Isn't it three?' She pointed to the two in her thigh, and lifted up the hem of her shirt, motioning to the long, jagged one on her stomach.
'One down your spine.' He stood her up, and turned her around, so her back faced the mirror. He lifted up her shirt from in front of her, and her breath hitched as his fingers lightly traced the line. She looked at the mirror for a second, then turned to face him again. He left his hand on her waist, it burned against her skin. The other hand, he brought up to tuck a strand of golden hair behind her ear. His eyes shone with such intensity as he looked at her, slowly bringing her closer to him. Their eyes both closed at the same moment, as their foreheads touched, their breath mingling. Coulson was the first to move, tentatively bringing his lips to hers. As soon as he tasted the sweetness that he'd missed for the past 18 months, the kiss turned from innocent to passionate. He used one arm to pull her closer at the waist, and the other was tangled in her hair. She was stunned at first, but quickly began reciprocating. He'd missed this, and in the moment, he wasn't thinking, all he noticed were her soft lips against his, her hair silky under his fingers, her curves pressing against him. His kiss was constantly soft, never hard or demanding. She revelled in it, unused to anything but Matt's possessive nature. Slowly, it dawned on him what he was doing. He couldn't do this, she wasn't ready, she had only just returned and she wasn't herself yet. He pulled away from her, an apologetic look in his eyes, mumbled, 'Sorry.' and backed out of the room. Staring at the door he had just closed behind him, she raised her fingers to her lips and adopted a confused expression.
S.H.I.E.L.D had hooked up her suit with an invisible microphone, so she was able to keep the mask on while being interviewed. Coulson sat at her side the whole time, but he never had to cover for her. 'Shadow, will you be a part of the Avengers Initiative?'
'I will not. If the situation demands it, I will be part of the S.H.I.E.L.D team that deals with it. The Avengers at the moment are already capable of dealing with any threat.'
'How did you get the name Shadow?'
'I worked in the shadows, I was known for not being seen, and getting out quickly. I was part of the shadow, hence the name.'
'What do you have to say to the families that you've broken?'
'I want to apologise. I don't think I will ever stop apologising, because what I did calls for me to answer for what I've done. Nothing can ever make up for it, but I am planning on helping those families and participating in some community action.'
'Do you, or S.H.I.E.L.D have any justification for what you did?'
'The problem is more complicated than I am at leisure to explain. I wish I was able to justify it, but it would demean the loss that this city has gone through, and I would not wish to belittle the situation at all.'
'Why can you murder hundreds of people in cold blood and not go to jail?'
'I don't feel that I should be able to. But, and I'm not at liberty to say how, there is justification for all the deaths that were caused.'
'Are you and Agent Coulson an item?'
'I'm sorry, I don't see how that relates.'
'I write a gossip column. People don't pay us to bring them down, they want an adorable romance that they can follow. Will the secrets tear them apart? What if one of you dies on a mission? That gives us months of articles.'
'There's an anti-fraternisation policy in S.H.I.E.L.D. And a question to you, do you think that we, as the agents who save you from harm on a daily basis, should have our personal lives on display? Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division. I don't hear it mention Romance in there. In fact, most of out higher ranked agents have given up any opportunity at a normal life, so they can protect people, like you, on a daily basis.'
Tony appeared next to her, stretching back in his chair. 'I don't know, hearing about your love life intrigues me. Remind me to pick up a copy of that magazine.' He said, winking to the young reporter, who instantly swooned. 'I love the get up, Harper. Elizabeth? Agent, what do you call her nowadays?'
'She's Elizabeth. Just with a minor bit of amnesia.'
'And multiple personality disorder.' Tony added. The reporters immediately jumped on to that.
'I was undercover for S.H.I.E.L.D for over a year and a half. Before then, I had just started getting over some traumatic things that happened in my past. So when I went undercover, I found the easiest way was to just block all that out, focus solely on my cover. But it backfired, because all I knew then, was my cover. I still can't remember who I was before I went on the mission, and I don't know if I ever will. Agent Coulson here, is someone who has been helping me try to remember.'
'What were the traumatic events in your past?'
'I don't know. Ask Coulson.' She turned to him, expecting him to continue.
'I don't think now is the time to discuss these.' Coulson started.
'I want to know. I don't care if they do.'
'It's not a pleasant story.' He warned. 'You were orphaned at six. Car crash. You moved in with Amy, your babysitter, and she found out about your sight and kicked you out at ten. Her boyfriend was an abusive drug addict. You lived in a tent until you were twelve, stealing to keep yourself alive, until you were caught by a teacher. Mr Harris. He taught you, and let you live with him, but then you hit 15, and he started abusing you. That's where you got the scar across your stomach. One day, you accidentally killed his dog, and he beat you within an inch of your life. You got away, and joined a gang. That's where you became addicted to an array of drugs, cocaine, heroin, crystal meth, LSD, basically all of them. You were part of a drug cartel there, which is where you got the one on your spine and the ones on your thighs. You participated in an armed robbery, and skipped out on your friends before you were caught. You went to Melbourne, began conning people, earned a living that way, and rehabilitated yourself in a caravan. You joined the Rising Tide, and met Richard, with whom you were in a relationship, then abused by, and were in the process of running away from them when you met us.' He finished, looking apologetically at Elizabeth. Her face was impossible to read, as it was completely covered, but her eyes were widened in shock. Everyone was silent in the room, until Tony asked,
'How can you accidentally kill a dog?' She looked at Coulson for an answer.
'She was a teenager. She left the dog's box of food open.' He shrugged. 'None of this should be used against her. It's in the past. She's now the woman who saved the world, the one that stopped HYDRA. She overcame all of this to become the hero she is today, and I couldn't be more proud of her.' He stated, looking at her again.
'Agent, save it for tonight, I don't want to hear any of your sappy pick-up lines, if you can call it that.' He groaned. Remembering one, he grinned, and turned to Elizabeth, 'Have you got a mirror in your pants? 'Cause I can see myself in them.' He laughed. 'If you were my bike, I'd ride you everyday.' He was on a roll. 'Are you a morning person? Because you just made me an early riser. It's not that hard Agent. Another innuendo, but that was too easy.' Tony was obviously trying to cover for her while she recuperated from that tale.
'Classy.' Coulson said dryly.
'I like the sweet ones better.' She stated, her stunned expression wiped away.
'My love for you is like diarrhoea, never ending.' Tony attempted.
'You should work on them a bit more.' she winced.
'I was blinded by your beauty, so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.' Coulson said easily.
'See, that was nice.' She said pointedly.
'If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.' Tony said mockingly. The reporters just looked on in confusion, laughing occasionally. Tony looked at them, and said, 'Okay, how 'bout you guys go, I've got it from here. Spangles is coming in a few minutes.' They looked at each other and nodded, standing up and thanking everybody. Coulson thanked Tony quietly for covering, and left.
He opened the door for her, like the gentleman he was, and followed her into the lobby.
'Hey, I'm sorry about that.' He said, she pulled her mask down, freeing her hair.
'Don't be, thank-you. I'm glad I know, and also glad that I never have to talk about it again.' He opened his mouth to speak again. 'And don't apologise for earlier.' He closed his mouth, feeling like a goldfish. 'It's hard to explain, but all my feelings are the same. When I was in hospital, I was really calm when I was with Jemma, I was happy with Skye. I felt like I was part of a family. My feelings about you haven't changed at all.' She explained. 'I still love you. I just don't remember anything about you. I don't feel worthy to love you yet.'
'I like this. Unconditional love, I could have been the biggest bastard to you before, and you wouldn't remember it.' He chuckled.
'Somehow, I doubt that.' She said, pulling up her mask, and walking through the paparazzi that were crowded outside the building.
'Harper? Harper!' A familiar voice rang out through the mass. A single body pushing to the front. 'Harp, it's Matt.' He said, only a metre away from them. Coulson's glare would have made anyone else cower, but Matt was persistent. He reached a hand out, turning her towards him. Before Coulson could react, Harper shot a hand out and hit him with as much force as she could muster, in the solar plexus. He was winded, bending over, 'Fucking hell, Harper you bitch.' he choked out. She turned to look at him, and recognising him, she shoved him into the car, Coulson and her following suit. She raised a hand in a wave to the cameras, and the driver started the car, driving away.