I DREAM of you...
Summary: "Oh God, no! Don't die, Kate! Please, don't do this to me. Don't die!" Rick cries out into the night, holding the woman of his dreams close to his chest. The woman who filled his nights finally made it into his days and now he was going to lose her. Forever. *AU*
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters; they belong to the fabulous A. W. Marlowe and ABC.
A/N: Again not much, but still. I really just have so little time to write, let alone to read all those fabulous stories out there, like from purplangel, RGoodfellow64 or chezchuckles.
I'm sorry guys. Some day I hope to get back to your stories!
Previously:
"Lanie. Can you please tell me what happened now?"
"Yeah, of course. We're all just – I'm just not over it myself, you know?" Lanie looks at her friend, who offers her a small smile, takes a deep breath and starts to tell the story.
"And then Amelios gave you the last of the Propofol he had left -"
Even though Kate knows the end of this story, she holds her breath. And Lanie does the same. It slowly sinks into the minds of the women how dramatic their story really was.
"And then?"
"You just wouldn't wake up again. I was on the phone with Esposito all this time and we were all waiting, but you just didn't wake up anymore. Not until three days later."
"But how – how did they find Castle?"
"Right before the police and the ambulance arrived on the other side of the trash container we were hiding behind, you started talking. You were still out cold, but it was like you were talking in your sleep. Esposito heard everything he needed on the phone and they didn't waste another second. But when they found him..."
"What then? Come one Lanie, this is killing me!"
"He lost so much blood, Kate. The bad guys just went away when they found him lying there. They must've thought he was already dead. And, well, he was. When the medics arrived, he had no pulse and wasn't breathing. They reanimated him several times and already wanted to give up when Esposito and Ryan told them not to stop. And then Castle was back. I can't tell you more, they sent the boys away and Ryan called me while I was driving in the ambulance car to the hospital with you." Lanie takes a deep breath.
"And since then we're sitting here. Waiting for you to wake up. Oh Kate, I can't tell you how glad I am that you made it."
"But if Castle – if he doesn't make it, it was all in vain." Kate tries to blink the tears away, which already burn in the corners of her eyes again. When has she become so damn emotional?
"Any news on him?"
"Esposito has tried to play his card of being a detective, telling the doctors he would need to talk to Castle as a part of the investigation. He asked them when he would be in the condition to ask him a few questions. But they just told him to give his number and they would call if Castle's condition changes. No word so far." The M.E. tries her best to hide the hopelessness in her voice, but Kate knows her too well.
Just in this moment, Jim Beckett enters the room, giving Lanie the chance to avoid more difficult questions from Kate, which she can't answer anyway.
"I gotta go, Kate. I'll be back tomorrow after my shift." Lanie stands up to kiss her best friend's cheek. While offering her an encouraging smile, that does not quite reach her eyes, she leaves the room to give Kate and her father some time alone.
After holding the door open for Lanie and closing it behind her, Jim sits down on his daughter's bed, hugs her tightly and doesn't let her go for minutes.
None of them says a word, because words are just not enough. Both just share silent tears, relieved to still have each other.
"How are you, Katie?" Jim asks, his voice still heavy with tears.
"I'm okay, dad."
"Good. And now the truth."
"Da-ad."
"Don't you dare to roll your eyes on me, Katie!"
Kate can't help the smile blossom in her face. Her father always knows what to say to make her feel better.
"I... I'm - " she takes a deep breath. "I'm devastated, dad. I am glad to be here, glad to be alive, but -"
"There's no 'but', Kate. I know what you want to say, I am better informed, than you might think. I even talked with his mother."
"You what? How-? Did she-? What did she say?" Kate sits upright in her bed, the pain in her body suddenly vanished.
"She told me to thank you. You did everything and maybe more to help this man. She doesn't know how – and neither do I – but everyone keeps saying you saved his life."
"Is he- is his condition better? Is he over the worst?"
"No, not yet."
"Then it's not true. I didn't save him. And if he doesn't make it, it was all in vain." When the hell will she be able to stop repeating herself? When will she be able to escape this damn vicious circle in her mind?
"You shouldn't say those things. Don't give up on him."
"Never, dad. Never."
"Okay. And now back to the topic. You didn't think your little diversion worked on me, right?"
"It wasn't a diversion!"
"Don't change the topic again, Kate. I mean it. How are you?"
Kate exhales a long breath and lets herself fall back into the pillow. Now all the pain is back.
"My body is hurting, but once the doctors will be done with a few more test, they will give me more painkillers. My leg is in a bad condition, but they will look after it, too. The worst thing is the dizziness. The Propofol in my body seems to be still working after all this time."
"It's not the Propofol, Katie. It must be one of the side effects of some other medication they're giving to you."
"Of course, Dr. Beckett." Now Kate can't help to roll her eyes.
"I had a long talk with your new friend Amelios." Jim says with a serious tone in his voice, ignoring his daughter's previous comment.
"I wanted to know about everything he did. What exactly he gave you, how it works, etc. He told me that Propofol has quite a short half-life. As soon as you stop the injection, the body is able to alleviate the Propofol very quickly. So it's not that what makes you dizzy. Just look at all you've been through. I think it's okay to feel exhausted."
"You talked to Amelios?"
"Of course." Sensing the uneasiness of his daughter, Jim Beckett hurries to explain.
"I just wanted to know what happened. I don't really blame the guy for what he did to you. We both know, how... uhm... demanding and convincing you can be."
"Oh my, dad. Could you just... stop."
"Okay, okay. I'll let you rest a little now. I'll be back tomorrow morning."
"Yeah. Could you do me a favour?"
"Anything, dear."
"Bring me a strong coffee tomorrow."
Not long after her dad had left her room, the doctors came back to take Kate with them for more tests. After what felt like an eternity and after having seen almost every room and machine in the whole hospital, she was finally lying in her bed again.
Everyone just tells to sleep or to get some rest, but to her it feels like she slept for more than one lifetime. There's an urge inside her to go and see Castle that just doesn't go away.
A look at her father's watch on the table beside her bed proofs her right. She really has been away for hours. The brunette Detective can see the darkness outside through the window and it even increases her restlessness.
There's the wheelchair, they took her to the examinations with, it's still standing in the corner of her room. Only a few steps away. Like a sign.
But, already sitting at the edge of her bed, she has to realise that she has no idea where Castle could be. This is such a huge building.
She already wants to lie down again, the frustration burning hot in her stomach, but she can't give up that easily. Castle has saved her life several times and she didn't even had the chance to thank him. Not that there is a way to express her thankfulness, but –
She couldn't live with the knowing that she didn't even say a proper "Thank you" if he might die.
The beautiful woman with the auburn hair gets into full detective mode.
Castle is surely treated as a private patient, so she needs to find the private patient suite and then the room where he's in.
Limping over to the wheelchair, Kate Beckett is determined to find the man who makes her heart beat faster.
She finds the private patient suit easily and no one crossed her way so far. It's almost midnight, all the visitors have gone by now and the personnel has been reduced to a minimum for the late night shift.
But her heart sinks when she enters the suite. It's enlightened by glowing pictures on either side of the long corridor, which is painted in what looks like a friendly and warm light brown colour. It immediately creates a comfortable atmosphere, but there are about a dozen doors on each side of the hallway. She can't possibly open all of them and look who's inside.
She decides to let her wheelchair roll further down the corridor, hoping to find a sign somewhere. Maybe, if the night nurse is occupied with a patient, she could sneak into the nurses' room to take a look into the computer and find his name with the number of the room he's in.
She doesn't really think about any consequences, she only hopes she won't cross Castle's ex-wives' path. Ugh.
When Kate's about half way into the suite, a door opens and she hurries to hide behind the huge fish tank right beside her between two doors on the right side of the hallway. Not that she can really hide behind a little glass and water, but it's the only thing that could give her a chance of not being seen immediately.
The detective releases the breath she's been holding, when she sees two nurses walking away into the other direction, further down the corridor. She can't understand what they're talking about, but she has a distinct feeling, who could be in that room they just left.
As soon as the two women are gone, Kate guides her wheelchair towards the door with the number 7. Her heart beats faster, while she hopes that the feeling in her guts won't betray her.
With shaking hands she opens the door and glides into the room, greeted by the sound of the beeping from different machines.
Oh God.
There he is. And he looks... horrible.
Closing the door behind her as softly as possible(the wheelchair really sucks), Kate slowly moves nearer to the bed, to the man of her latest dreams.
His face is grey and his closed eyes are sunken in, his lips are pale and lack the fullness she secretly adores so much. The tall and strong man suddenly looks so small and fragile in this huge bed, with all those tubes around his body.
At least he seems to be able to breathe alone, with the support of a little oxygen through his nose. This must be a good sign, right?
His hand is surprisingly warm when she reaches out for it. He looks more dead than alive, so Kate somehow expected his hand to be cold. But it's not and she can slowly feel the tension leave her body. His warm hand beneath her's and the steady sound of his breathing relieve her somehow and for a moment a little smile darts across her face.
"Hey Castle. I uhm – I don't know if you can hear me or – Uh, or if I am just making a fool of myself here, but... I just – I just wanted to tell you that I'm here and I'm okay. You saved my life so many times and I just wanted to say thank you. It will never be enough, concerning what you did for me, but it's the least I can do. So come on and wake up so I can see you in the eye when I say those two little words."
"You want to say three little words to me?" Castle's voice is low and not more than a whisper, but even though his eyes are still closed, his goofy grin gets wider and wider.
"Castle! Oh my gosh, you're – you're awake!"
He slowly takes her hand, that's still lying on top of his', and opens his eyes.
"Of course I am. Didn't want to miss the full moon tonight, you know."
"I – I uh, let me call for the nurses."
"Nah, I wouldn't do that. They would tell you to leave and let me rest and I'd really like to hear those little three words from you."
Kate is sure he just wiggled his eyebrows. Damn this man.
"Two little words, Castle. Two."
"That's okay with me. You don't need to say the 'I'. I'll take what I can get."
"Not funny, Castle. So not funny."
"Except that it is funny!"
"Could you just stop it?"
"Are we blushing, detective?"
"I don't know about you, but I am definitely not - "
"Okay, okay. Got it." Rick interrupts, before Kate's voice get's too loud.
"Fine. Since when you are awake?"
"For about an hour, I think. They told me I barely made, but here I am." The warm smile he offers her is so contagious that Kate can't help to smile back.
Yeah, here they both are – a little damaged, but alive.