Red Velvet: A Paily Story

by rcampdel

Its been 7 years since Paige left Rosewood. So many things in her life have changed and now fate has brought her back. Emily has never left. Friends have moved on and so has her family. All she has are the broken pieces of her life and the chance to really live again. This is an AU story that follows Paige, Emily and the lives of the people their love touches. Join the circus!

21. Chapter 21

Author's note: Thank you for your patience with waiting for this chapter and to a very special "guest/guests" for being so eager. You really encouraged me with showing me your excitement over the story so thank you. This chapter has a loose open ending and while chapter 22 is written fully I had plans to let readers have a say in what happens next so feel free to send me a pm or post as guest if you'd like to stay anon. Thank you to everyone thats taken the time to follow this story and to everyone whose sent lovely reviews. They mean a lot to me and your opinions matter. Thank you to everyone that shares this story, friends, retweets and reblogs. You all are amazing! That being said...Love to all of you! Find me on twitter at rcampdel Paily*Love*Story to check out beautiful cover art for the story by: Saii79.

Enjoy!

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*Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.* ~Anthony
Brandt

Paige shifted in the seat beside me and looking over at her I can see her failing to stay awake. She's trying. Her eyes keep closing and then shooting open again but she hasn't broken her hold on my arm, clinging to me the way we both seem to need right now and just holding on to proof that I'm here. I need the same proof. My mind feels comforted knowing she's close too. I'm angry at myself for letting it get this far, for wanting to run and for planting doubt in Paige's mind about my intentions and feelings towards her. I never meant for Paige to doubt how I feel about her or my gratitude and love for the show and everyone else. That wasn't my goal. I don't mean to hurt anyone and yet I feel like I always do in some way. I finally feel a little stronger now just knowing that I'm capable of giving up everything I love and being okay. I've never had to give up anything before, I've never been given the chance to give anything up. Everything has always just been taken from me until now. Until now no one has really fought to keep me and when Paige showed up at Riley's it was so confusing and so many parts of me didn't want to believe it because I'm not familiar with the feeling. I don't know how to believe in things that meaningful happening to me. I left knowing Paige would be okay and happy with Emily but I also needed to make that decision for myself without anyone else. Now that I've made it I know that my decision to be back with the show and every decision that follows will be mine too. No one else's and if I let it be anyone else's then that's on me too. The show isn't an escape for me this time. It's not me running from New York or my dark past there. It's me learning and wanting to be with the people that want me and need me as much as I need them. So quickly I'd forgotten a promise that I made to myself three years ago. Emily reminded me of a promise that I made to Paige's parents.

Paige moved again, her head slipping lower on the headrest and making her startle awake for just a moment.

"Come here." I whispered, pulling my arm away from her.

Her eyes startle open again to look at me and automatically she sinks lower and pulls her legs on to the leather seat, propping her head against my thigh as she lays down on her side. Her eyes close quickly with her face nestled into my side and carefully I let my arm drape over her shoulder. I don't want to disturb her or keep her from sleeping. Its been the longest few days for everyone...especially Paige and by extension...Emily.

I can still remember the last time Paige leaned into me like this but I can promise you she probably doesn't. That's not her fault though. It was hard, it wasnt calm and peaceful like this is now. It was terrifying and heartbreaking, a nightmare. December has never been a good month for me. The phone call I got three years ago in December was the worst and I'd deal with Cole all over again if I hadn't had to hear that ringing, if the call had never been needed.

*fall on your knees, oh hear the angel voices*

"Hey guys we're out of here." Peter called over the Christmas music belting from the living room and slipped his head into the kitchen. An amused smile tugging at his lips when he takes in Riley pressing my back into the kitchen counter, teasing with the hem of my shirt. "Really? Tisk tisk, Riley. Your own mother's kitchen?" He shakes his head.

"Go home, Peter." I sigh. "Learn from your parent's mistakes. Use birth control." I smile seeing Sydney laugh over his shoulder.

"Ouch, Mary." He sighs with a smile and backs down, eyeing the cookies on the counter beside me.

"Take them." I groan, turning in Riley's arms to grab a container. The only thing this accomplishes, besides getting Peter the cookies he wants, is that now Riley is pressing into my back and making my breath hitch in my throat. "Here..." I clear my throat, dropping a few cookies into the container and holding it out to Peter. "Goodnight, we love you, now go home please."

"Kicking me out so you can defile the kitchen." Peter shakes his head and grabs the container from my hands and with the warning look in my eyes he loses his smile and ducks his head as he turns to leave. "Thanks for the cookies."

"Oh hey wait..." I call, making him stop and turn to me by the door. "Did you hear from them yet?" My hand moves to slap Riley's away from my hips but he doesn't phase my train of thought.

"No not yet." Peter shakes his head. "I figured they'd call in the morning if its late."

Paige and her parents are headed to Aspen for Christmas. They left here around lunch time so we all expected them to be late getting there. I know Riley and I would both rather be spending Christmas somewhere else too, maybe Paris or just outside of Lincoln in general. Riley's mom wanted us here and I understand that. I can't argue and I won't fight it. She already spends so much of the year without him so I don't blame her for missing him. I would. At the same time I miss all of them during those months away too. I miss his parents and Molly and right now I miss Paige and her parents too. I guess none of them are really mine to miss but I do anyways.

I nod and slap Riley's hand away again. "Okay just let us know." I smile, groaning when Riley digs his nails in to tickle me. "Stop...seriously stop." I laugh.

"Don't stay up too late." Peter chuckles, turning towards Sydney and leaving Riley and I standing alone in the dark kitchen.

"Yes, Dad." I call after him, setting my eyes on the pair of green that are burning into me. "I'm tired. Its been a long night." I whined, pressing my hands into Riley's stomach. "Are you really gonna keep me from sleeping when I'm tired?"

Riley smiled and ducked his head as he stepped back, unpinning me from the counter and allowing me to pull my purple shirt back down over my exposed hips. The house is mostly quiet now, with the sound of the front door closing behind Peter and Sydney, but I can hear Mrs. Brennan upstairs trying to get Molly in bed. She's two and hopped up on the cookies that we baked earlier so I don't envy anyone the task of calming her down.

"I'd never keep you from sleeping." Riley sighed dreamily. "I can't watch you for hours while you sleep if you're awake.. can I?"

I look at him warily and shake my head. "Fuck, I really hope you're kidding."

"Of course I'm kidding. " He shrugged nonchalantly. "I have no idea what you look like when you're sleeping because I'm also sleeping so..."

"Well that's good. I'm sparing you." My hand moves to tousle my hair over my shoulders as I move around him and open the sliding glass door to the back yard.

Its dark and cold. Just after 8pm and there's a thin blanket of snow across the grass. I know I know. Eight isn't very late but we've been doing this Christmas stuff with Riley's family all week and I'm drained. The empty pool is covered in a dark blue top and patio furniture in slip covers to protect them from snow. I hear Riley close the door behind us as I step down from the large porch and make my way across the brick pathway towards the guesthouse. Its lit with tiny lanterns in the ground along the sides but it's still dim and I step lightly.

"Of course I don't know." Riley repeats, making me falter in my steps at the suspicious continuation of this conversation. I force myself to keep walking.

"That's good." I repeat also.

"Cuz it'd be really weird, right?"

"Yeah, kind of weird." I sigh and shake my head lightly, studying the ground that's slick as I walk.

"Yeah." He agrees. "So its weird, that I *don't* know, that you tuck your hand up under your chin when you're sleeping or that your hair does this twisting curly thing around your face." I sigh and pick up my pace but he catches up. "And I *don't* know that your lips do this really cute pouty thing and sometimes your eyebrows crinkle a little bit in the middle like you're thinking about something. Sometimes you talk and once.."

I stop a foot from the door and turn to him which, judging by his quick step back from me, he's not expecting. So quickly my hand has twisted into the front of his burgundy sweater and I'm pulling him to my lips with a fever. He's surprised and hesitates to kiss me back, his hands moving to my cheeks to break me away instead.

"What was that for?" He whispers, green eyes questioning. "Not that I'm complaining...at all...I just..."

"Then stop talking." I smile, reaching my fingers down to release his belt in one swift movement and teasing with the smooth skin there. "Maybe I'm not tired anymore."

I can tell it's not exactly the answer he's hoping for. I know he wants more. Something softer and deeper than I can give him and while I can't say it out loud, I feel the stirring in my chest and that's already way too much for me. I can't bring myself to say it and I try to stop myself from feeling it. It's there and I'm trying my best to bury it along with all the pieces of me that someone else left shattered. It's not Riley's fault...but I can't fix it because I don't know how. It's like a jigsaw puzzle when you know so many pieces are missing. What's the point? I don't even know where to start and the picture of me won't ever be complete.

He melts into my mouth again, a peppery sandalwood to his skin as he guides me backwards, his hand reaching out for the door to the guest house and walking us inside. It's barely closed behind him before I feel my back pressing into the counters of the small kitchen and the heat of his hands sliding up my sides, pulling my shirt up with them...over my head. My hair falls in curtains over my shoulders as my arms fall down to remove his sweater and I let my eyes drink in the hard lines of his stomach before my hands are on him, running up across his chest and into his hair. I move my mouth to bite at his neck instead of kissing him and I can feel his fingers work over the button of my jeans. It isn't long...a few heartbeats of fumbling movement before he's lifting me on to the counter and I feel his fingers dragging softly between my thighs and pressing into me, just for a second or two before he's bringing his fingertips to his lips...his tongue. I feel my eyes darken at seeing him do this and I'm on his mouth again. So quickly I'm gasping while taking him in, air pulled from my lungs as I bury my face against his shoulder while he rocks into me and holds me closer. This is all I have to give him. It's all guys really want anyways, right? It's all anyone ever wants. I tell myself its all I want. Maybe it is.

"Is that your phone or mine?" Riley groans, rolling over to bury his face into his pillow. "I say its yours."

I'm laying on my stomach and I lift my head off my pillow to look at the clock on the table beside me. The red numbers make my eyes squint. Its five after two in the morning and I see the glowing light from my phone ringing across the room on the dresser.

"Fuck, seriously its two..."

"Damn Mar, middle of night booty calls?" Riley chuckled, muffled by his pillow. "You know you can just do this during the day."

"Shut up." I smack his arm and shift myself up.

I know he's joking but it's too late or...early...for humor. Whatever. All I know is I'm awake now and out of bed, I don't want to be either of those things, and my phone is ringing. Also for some reason Peter's name is flashing across my screen. It takes me a second of crinkling my eyebrows and letting my eyes adjust before I drag my thumb across the screen to answer it but I'm at a loss for why he's calling. And then it makes sense all at once. My last oblivious words to anyone before I'm thrust into yet another nightmare.

"Hey you know you could have called in the morning to tell us they got there okay."

"Mar? I need you guys to get dressed." Peter's voice cracked and I assume he's been sleeping too. I'm too tired for this.

"Peter, what's wrong?" I sigh. "Trouble sleeping?"

"Marley please just..." he's upset, crying maybe but I can't tell.

"What's wrong?" I ask again, more firmness in my voice and I see Riley sit up in bed to look at me with questioning eyes. "Did you and Sydney have a fight or something?" I don't know why he'd be calling for that purpose but its all my mind can come up with.

I hear a sob on the other end of the line. He's crying, mumbling something and I can't pick up a single word of what he's saying. I strain my ears to pick the jumbled mess apart but I'm not even sure he's saying words. He's so frantic.

"Peter whats wrong?" I'm raising my voice now, "I can't understand a word you're saying. Take a deep breath and calm down for a minute...I don't know what you're..." I throw my hand up and look over at Riley with worried eyes and he's climbing out of the bed now, pulling a t-shirt over his head and slipping into jeans. Clarity returns to Peter instantly when my name leaves his lips.

"Marley, I need you both to get dressed and meet me out front. I'm about to pull up."

The line goes dead and something clicks in my head while at the same time doesn't register at all. I look down at the screen and notice a missed called from a few minutes ago. My first thought is Peter as well but I don't recognize the number and I'm distracted so I drop my phone on the dresser. My hands go up to bunch into my hair as I try to make my mind work again, try to think, my eyes gliding over the room but I'm not really seeing anything. It's a blur. Riley flipped the light on and it does nothing to make me see better than a blurry watercolor of creams and pale blues on the walls...the bed. Nothing. Theres a layer of fog over me keeping everything out. Keeping everything from touching me.

"What's going on?" Riley asks, handing me a blue long sleeve shirt and reaching for my jeans on the floor.

All I can do is shake my head weakly with a gaping mouth. I don't know what to tell him. I'm not even sure what Peter told me. I assumed he was calling to tell us that Paige and her parents made it to Aspen okay. My heart stops and I look at him with increasing worry, pulling my shirt hard over my head and tugging it down while grabbing my jeans from him. Riley took my sudden speed in stride and moved around me, slipping into his sneakers and grabbing my bag and his phone while I slid into my boots. I ignore the mirror and moved quickly from the small loft, down the wrought iron spiral staircase and feel the vibrations through metal of Riley right behind me.

Its warm outside now...it shouldn't be. The path still covered in ice and the lawn in snow. My breath is present in white wisps leaving my lips but I can't feel the cold that should be there. It feels too hot. Its amazing I'm able to walk the pathway so quickly without slipping on ice and its even more weird to me that I make note of this accomplishment along with the counting of the four porch steps. Why am I doing this? Why am I voicing each step that I take inside of my head instead of thinking about Peter crying and his reason for calling me. I make note that I'm over thinking it because I don't even know why he was crying or calling. It could be anything...and yet there's only one option that's terrifying me right now.

Riley has moved ahead of me somehow and opened the sliding glass door to the house and as I step inside I falter and instantly my ears strain to make note of every sound. The kitchen is dark and soft noise moves me to walk quickly into the living room to see Peter standing in the open doorway. I freeze in my steps. Sydney is standing beside him and she edged her way in beside Riley's mom as she stands holding the door. They're all looking at us. There are three tear-streaked faces, four as movement catches my eyes to see Riley's dad sitting on the couch with pained green eyes.

I fell then.

I saw Peter standing in the doorway with Riley's parents, tears streaming his face...and my knees caved...I fell. I can feel the warm wood floors beneath me but just as quickly I feel arms around my waist and it must be Riley. I can smell the vanilla and pepper on his skin and I clung to it because all of my other senses have seemed to abandon me completely. He must have led me because the next thing I know the three of us are in Peter's car and words are drifting past my ears. I find it strange that I can hear the words but I'm unable to really hear what they are. They're just shapeless sounds, completely foreign to me like Peter's speaking another language. 'Accident'...I don't know that word...'hospital'...nothing phases me...'Paige'

Paige's name snapped my attention when it left Peter's lips and I start screaming at him again.

"What are you saying?" I shouted, feeling again as Riley's hands closed around my waist to pull me close. "What the fuck are you saying? You're not making sense...nothing you're saying is making sense...just speaking fucking English...please!"

"Marley..." Riley's voice is trying to soothe me and hearing it makes me freeze the profanities in my throat as I look at him. He's crying in a knowing way that scares me. It tells me that he's understanding Peter's words and what he's saying but how come I can't? Why can't I hear them?

Peter isn't making sense to me. Paige is okay. She's with her parents for Christmas in Aspen so why was Peter crying and mentioning her in the same sentence as these scary words. Riley is looking lost and trying to hold me close but I kept screaming, fighting. I can't stop screaming because if I do then I may really hear what Peter is trying to say. I may actually hear the words and I can't. I scream until my voice is gone and my eyes are heavy and dry.

The airport is a blur. People bustling around with smiles as they were reunited with their families for the holidays. I'm entranced by them. They're surreal in their festive moods and their laughter. Its like something from a movie that you don't expect to actually see in real life. So giddy and over the top. I was numb and somehow still more scared than I'd ever been but I couldn't stop watching them all and wanting to be them. They're so happy and hopeful and I'm not. The whole flight more words drifted around me that made me want to scream again. I tuned them out, refused to hear them at all. A flight attendant asked if I was okay at one point and then recoiled when my eyes snapped to look at her. I wasn't okay. None of us were.

We flew into Denver and I still can't remember much of how we got to the hospital. The smell as the sliding doors opened for us made my stomach turn and I'm instantly thrust back to last time I was in a place like this. The sterile smell of bleach and the doctors poking and prodding me, touching my body in the places that I cut off from myself...the places stolen from me two months prior. I lost a lot but this feels worse. Peter moved quickly to the counter and began talking to a round woman sitting with her coffee. The smell made me more nauseous. Minutes passed and with each one the sickening feeling increased in my stomach. I felt like I could hear every clock in the hospital ticking in my ears and taunting me that they knew something that I didn't.

"McCullers family?"

I turn at the name to see a doctor coming from a hallway to the left of the front desk. My first thought is that he's too young to be a doctor and I want to hit him right then and there when he introduces himself as such. Then again I hate everyone in the room right now. I feel like they're staring. I want to hit the doctor for saying that name, a name so close to our hearts, and saying it in such a hopeless way. I forget his name the second I hear it. Peter nods and swallows hard and I feel Riley's arm tighten around my waist. I scold myself now. I'm a mess and he must be too. I move my hand to take his and offer him as much as I can in the way of support but my body is shaking and I'm not much help to anyone.

"Can you all please follow me so we can find a quiet place to talk?" The doctor asks, his eyes are soft and already he's turning without waiting for an answer from us.

We don't have a choice and he knows it. It's not wrong of him it's just a simple fact. We're here for information and a truth that only he can give us. We follow him. The air working into my lungs burns. It feels like fire in my throat from screaming and its coming fast now, panting in a way that I can feel my eyes glazing over with each breath I take and the air shaking past my lips. They're trembling. I can't see without Riley's hands guiding me and I feel useless because I know he needs me too. The hallway is too long, like a carnival fun house, and I'm tired of walking it as soon as we start. Not tired so much as impatient, anxiety prickling at my skin and crawling through my veins. I have half a mind to lock my legs and stop this delay right now but at the same time I have no energy for it either. I find myself contemplating which option I could manage. The long hallway or fighting what I know is coming. I've seen enough doctor shows to worry about us being pulled into a quiet room to talk. That's where we are now. The hallway ended after another hallway and an elevator two floors up. I still hadn't decided on either of my options so the walk had continued...the doctor leading the way choosing for me. Riley squeezed my hand and I use all I have to squeeze back. The room we're brought to is quiet. Too quiet and still sterile with the smell of latex even though there aren't medical supplies in here. There's a large table surrounded by chairs...a few tan files on the dark wood of the table top. The smell of coffee is much stronger. I'm glaring into the coffee machine on a small counter for increasing the rolling of my stomach as the doctor pulls out chairs for us. I don't want to.

We aren't alone with him in the room. There's a woman in a soft blue sweater with a white lab coat over top sitting in a chair at the end of the table and a police officer standing in the corner of the room. The doctor turns to Peter after gesturing for us to sit again. Peter does, albeit reluctantly, but neither Riley or I even attempt to move. I don't know if he's as paralyzed as I am or if he's afraid to let go of me for fear I might fall...or that he will. Maybe I'm offering more support than I think I am. I'm trying.

"Peter Devon?" The doctor asks softly, waiting until Peter nods weakly. "You're listed as the emergency contact for Nick and Anne McCullers..."

The police officer stepped forward and took a seat beside the doctor when Peter nodded again. I'm holding my breath now. It has Riley pulling me tighter against his side and everyone looking at us carefully. He speaks this time.

"Just after midnight there was an automobile accident involving the McCullers' red Range Rover, Nebraska plates, on highway 82 near Basalt, Colorado. The three passengers of that vehicle were airlifted here for medical treatment."

This is the moment I tried to breathe again and failed. They were here, somewhere in this hospital, and I should be able to breathe now. I can't. The words leaving the police officer's mouth quickly become numb to my ears because I feel like I'm waiting for something else. I try so hard not to hear his words like I failed to hear Peter's but these ones won't evade me. They refuse.

Speed wasn't a factor in the accident. There was a storm limiting visibility and the tires of the car got caught in the edge of the pavement on the shoulder of the road and spun the car out sideways, into the guard rail and breaking through when truck hit them from behind. The drop was steep and they didn't yet know how many times the car had rolled before it stopped. Peter is crying again and I can feel moisture streaking my cheeks...I don't move to wipe it away because I can also feel the shaking in Riley's arms around me. I'm not a doctor but I'll never forget what we were told by this one when he finally opened his mouth to speak again. I think we all knew it was bad without him having to say it...though he said it anyways.

"Nick and Anne McCullers sustained critical injuries in the accident and were pronounced dead upon arrival at our hospital. We did everything we could. I'm so sorry."

Massive head trauma and internal bleeding. It's not hard to know how bad it was. When bleeding occurs in the brain pressure build up can easily stop brain function that regulates the major organs. Internal injuries, such a large bones being broken, causes a lot of bleeding inside of the body and that takes away from the amount of blood needed in the brain resulting in a lack of oxygen. Neither of Paige's parents made it to hospital. Neither of them survived to leave the car again.

The only sounds my ears pick up now are ones of despair and loss. Peter was so close with them. For almost twenty years he's been close with the whole family. They were the kindest people I'd ever known. Mrs. McCullers used to hang out with me and the girls while we were practicing. She was always with us or spending every moment with...feeling snapped into my body along with movement and I needed to know about Paige. The doctor hasn't mentioned her yet. Why wouldn't they have mentioned her? All of the 'doctor terms' only served to distract me from where my heart was needing to be at the moment and I started screaming again.

"Paige?" I cried, pleading frantically and pulling myself out of Riley's arms. "Wheres Paige? You said there were three passengers. The third passenger is Paige. Where is she?"

Paige stirred slightly against my side and I snap back, looking down at her sleeping and her auburn waves falling over her face. I moved my hand carefully to comb her hair back behind her ear and smile because she does. She's dreaming and I pray its something happier than where my thoughts are now. She deserves something happier. The small scar above her eyebrow rips her away from me again.

Peter wrapped his arms around me as my knees buckled. He's doing everything to try to keep me from falling when all I really wanted was permission to fall to the cold floor like Riley had, to will the room to stop spinning. His arms are strong. They must be strong because I never get to touch that cool tile. I can't see through the tears. The ache in my chest is the worst pain I've felt... the biggest loss because this loss isn't just about me. It isn't just the pain of sixteen year old girl its the pain of a whole family. Its our pain. It's for Paige. I'm counting blessings. I'm thanking some higher power for what the doctor is saying now. Paige is okay. She hit her head, mild injuries, and the doctors were keeping her under light anesthesia while they run tests and scans to check for brain trauma and internal damage to vital organs or bleeding. The doctor stood from his chair.

"Mr. Devon, because this was a car accident and they were brought into our care...we need family to make a positive identification. Since you're listed as their only contact...I'm sorry but there's no one else."

"Oh my God..." Peter chokes on his words and tightens his arms around me. I can feel his lips press into my hair as if trying to keep me from slipping away from him too.

I hold him closer, returning the pressure. I forgot what oxygen was just in hearing Peter fight for his breath and my chest caves helplessly against him. My eyes move to look around Peter's shoulder and I see Riley crouched down, knees bent with his head fallen into his hands. He looks up at me and the pain in his eyes breaks me. The tears streaking his cheeks. I feel my own body weaken and yet he makes himself grow stronger in that moment. He forces it and I can see it like an invisible shield of resolve that he's mentally stretching to cover his whole body. It hurts more seeing him trying to be strong for us.

"I'll go with you." Riley whispers, straightening himself up.

Riley's arms wrap around me and feel his lips press to my forehead and my eyes close just briefly before he puts his hand on Peter's shoulder. The police officer is waiting beside the door with another doctor that's just arrived and I watch them helplessly as they leave me behind. I can't bring myself to move and I don't envy them the increase of pain they're about to go through. I can't imagine it and yet imaging it even as much as I am is so unbearable. I squeeze my eyes shut to fight the burn but that only pulls more tears down my cheeks that feel like fire on cold skin. I shiver.

"Are you Marley?"

My head snaps to the woman sitting quietly at the end if the table. I'd forgotten she was there and I'm thrown into a whirl of confusion because she just spoke my name. I try to nod but I'm taken aback by this and I can't. She stands with a tan file in her hands and moves closer. Her brown hair is pulled into a messy bun and she sets her hazel eyes on me carefully.

"My name is Dr. Lynn." Her voice is so light but with the new silence in the room I hear her perfectly. "I'm Paige's doctor. Are you Marley?" She asks again.

The air I'm trying to breathe forms a painful bubble in my throat and I nod...I can't speak. The last time a doctor said my name this gently it was so many years ago. She nods with me, mimicking the movement of my head and opening the folder in her hands, looking down over its contents.

"As you know Mr. Devon was listed as the emergency contact for the McCullers', both Nick and Anne."

"Yeah." I nod again, wiping my fingers under my eyes at hearing their names again. They should be here. Peter and Riley shouldnt be on their way to see them the way they are now. "Is something wrong?" I press, noticing her eyes reading over something in her folder.

"No, not wrong." She shakes her head and looks up at me with another wave of sympathy, reinforcing her remorse with her eyes before looking back down at the folder. "We retained their wallets, for identification purposes and any help in locating family and you're listed as the emergency contact for Paige McCullers."

My eyebrows furrow and I'm already shaking my head. "No...no that's probably supposed to be Peter." My voice cracks...its so dry.

"No." She shakes her head again, and pulls a small white card out from under a paperclip. "This was found in Anne McCullers' wallet along with a matching card in Nick McCullers'." She holds it out to me and I hesitate for a second before taking it. It feels wrong touching things of theirs but now my breath is caught hard in my throat. "Insurance agencies usually have cards like this that can be kept in wallets in the event that a card holder is brought to a hospital. Usually basic information, any allergies or medications and emergency contact information. Anything to help doctors with treatment and to contact family."

My eyes fall heavily on the small picture of Paige in the top right corner and then carefully they move to find her name...then my name. Not Mary...*my real name*

"I didn't know they had this." I force a weak breath, never taking my eyes from the card in my fingertips. "Paige didn't tell me."

"Paige may not have known." She said softly. "It's a 'parent' thing to do. Most people Paige's age don't think to have something like this on them so my guess is that her parents thought ahead for her and where just taking precautions in the event of anything happening. We see it a lot with families that travel often. Her parents obviously wanted you to be contacted for her...not Mr. Devon."

My mind goes to the other missed call on my phone and eyes slam shut to fight more tears but I fail. It's a losing battle before its even started. Emotions are pulling at me from all sides and right now this is too much. I can't focus on any one feeling because there are so many.

"Would you like to see her?"

My eyes open and I'm nodding quickly. I'm nervous but I need to see her. I know she's so much more scared than I am. Her parents wanted me here for her. My fingers hold the card gently, tracing my thumb lightly around the edges and over Paige's picture...my name printed beside it.

Dr. Lynn walked past me slowly and led the way back out into the hallway. The bustle of nurses are just a blur like a time lapsed city street with streaking traffic lights that form a continuous line. We aren't far away from her and this makes me angry. Just around a busy nurse's desk and a few doors away and the doctor stops. Paige was so close this whole time. My heart starts beating out of my chest and now I'm so scared to see her. I'm scared to see her hurting and unknowing of everything that's happened.

"Like we said we're keeping her under until test results come back which should be soon. It's best that she's calm. Just a precaution to prevent further injury especially if there's swelling in the brain we want to minimize stress. Shes completely stable so we're expecting a good outcome. We're just being safe. So far we only know of five hairline fractures to the ribs and a fractured shoulder-blade. The glass of the windows shattered during the accident and caused small skin lacerations on her arms but they're very minor. She was really lucky."

I nod and scoff lightly through my tears. Lucky isn't exactly a word I'd use right now and I know once Paige wakes up she's not going to be feeling lucky at all. I swallow the dryness in my throat. My eyes feel like they're full of sand as she opens the door and leaves me alone...just standing there and staring into a dark room. I don't know how long I stand there before I push myself to move and I don't move a second before my eyes have a chance to look down at the card in my hands again...ten more times. It's probably the only thing that pulls me forward because it contains everything. Her face is there and her name...my name. I move slowly and turn to close the door behind me, letting my forehead rest into the cool wood for a moment before taking a weak breath and turning to face the room. I keep my back pressed hard into the door. I can't breath from what I'm seeing now.

Its dark. The only light in the room is coming from a small lamp that's shining over her head, picking up flecks of red in her hair over her shoulders. My eyes shut and the ache in my chest increases as more tears roll slowly down my cheeks but in the same breath I'm pushing my back up from the door and walking closer, carefully bringing my eyes to look at her again and it only hurts more. What I see makes the tears fall faster and my hands are shaking. She could be sleeping on the train. Her face is still so flawless. There's a small cut above her eyebrow, a cut on her lower lip and only a slight purple under her left eye. I tell myself she's only sleeping and that it's just an ordinary night that I happen to see her sleeping on the white couches in the lounge car or curled up in a chair in the commons, happy and at peace with her family nearby. She's always been able to sleep anywhere. I reach slowly to touch her hair, brushing it behind her ear and bringing my sleeve up to wipe under my eyes when I see the small cuts on her arms. There's a chair already waiting next to her but I ignore it and move carefully to sit on the bed beside her instead.

Paige and I havent been the closest...we've just *been*. I can't even put into words what it is, it just is. Like a precipice that we're both comfortable standing on together. It's just easy and safe. It feels like home. This is hard. Seeing her laying here and knowing what she's gonna wake up to is the hardest thing I've been through and I know I've been through a lot. She's Paige. She's the girl that came to me last year in a moment of weakness and made herself vulnerable to me, let me see through her for just a split second. In return I reinforced the walls around my own heart, made them stronger, not just for myself but so that nobody around me would have to feel the pain I felt watching Paige's heart break that night and the days that followed. I thought it hurt seeing her like she was then...but right now? What she's about to go through may kill me.

Paige's hand is slightly bruised in mine. I'm so careful, gently brushing my thumb over the purple on her knuckles up to her wrist. The breaths leaving her lungs are slow and even and I make note of this because suddenly mine aren't. Again my chest is caving and my eyes are forced shut at the onslaught of new tears. I tell myself that I don't know why I'm affected so much in that second, holding her hand the way I am now. It's a lie and I know better. It's the bruises on her hand and the scars that are going to be left on her life.

There's a soft knock at the door and I gasp lightly from being startled, my eyes snapping over to it protectively, some instinct is setting in and making me wary of anyone and everyone trying to come close to her. Riley ducks his head in carefully and my body relaxes seeing him. He moves closer with his hands deep in his pockets and Peter slips in behind him. I'm holding my breath. Theres so much redness in their eyes and my eyes must be questioning because without a word Riley ducks his head and nods weakly. He can't look at me, Peter either. Paige's parents are gone and even though we heard this truth already it doesn't stop another wave of pain from slamming through us again. Things became such a blur after that moment. The hours passed slowly, two then five. We sat unmoving and silent. Peter and Riley in chairs on either sides of the bed and me unable to pull myself from Paige. I didn't once release her hand.

"Test results and scans came back good." Dr. Lynn stated, slipping quietly into the room. "Shes okay aside from the small fractures I mentioned but we know she does have a pretty bad concussion. I'm going to administer this through her IV." She pulled the cap from tip of a needle and moved closer to insert it. "Its going to wake her up but she's going to be really groggy for a few hours and she'll likely end up falling in and out of sleep."

"She doesn't know about her parents." I said flatly.

Its more of an observation spoken out loud but her response has my skin burning and I pull myself up from beside Paige, standing to my feet instead. I feel weak standing. I hadn't left Paige's side in six hours and now I'm hearing this. The doctors don't want to tell her about her parents right away because they don't want to slow her recovery or cause confusion because of the concussion. How could that ever be the right thing to do?

Dr. Lynn looks at us softly. "I'll leave all alone with her. I'll be back in a few minutes to check her progress."

She disappeared through the door and my hands move to cover my mouth tightly and my eyes slam shut, maybe to stop from throwing profanities at her and maybe just to keep from screaming and never stopping. Paige doesn't know about her parents and now she's going to wake up. She's going to ask for them and we're not supposed to tell her. I can't lie to her. Her parents are gone. She doesn't even know. She might not even remember what happened at all let alone where she is.

"I can't lie to her...I can't..." I'm saying it out loud...I'm repeating it through blurry eyes as tears fall and quickly I feel stronger arms around me. It's Peter. "We can't lie to her."

I turn and bury my face into's his chest and I'm heartbroken at how sunken he is too. I feel him reach an arm out and Riley is there behind me, wrapping his arms around my stomach and resting his chin into my shoulder. I don't know how long we stood there unmoving. It was a long time, but I know the moment we broke apart. Paige's heartbeat stopped on the monitor, it skipped for long second and then picked up so much faster. I turned to see her brown eyes falling on all of us, the panic there.

"No..." Paige's voice cracked and I pried myself from Peter's arm and moved to her side. "No...no..."

Paige isn't stupid and the second she opened her eyes she knew. She saw us and she knew. Her eyes melted and her chest caved, tears were unstoppable. The word 'no' left her mouth thirty times. I counted. Counting was the only thing that kept me from screaming the way she was in that moment. The room door flew open and the doctor and nurse came flooding in. That was the moment I could have been ripped from the room against my will.

"Paige, I'm Dr. Lynn. You're okay. I'm going to give you something to help you relax just a little bit." She soothed, the nurse moving to touch her IV line.

"No don't." I plead, pushing through Riley's arms that were already reaching to hold me back...to pull me away. "Please...don't touch her."

"We need to keep her calm and monitor her carefully over the next..."

Paige screamed 'no' sixteen more times and I can hear the tears leaving her. I can't look at her. My eyes are only on the doctor pulling the cap off another needle. Paige didn't ask for this and I fought for her when she couldn't.

"Don't." My voice is firm as I step between Paige and the needle. I see movement from Riley tense, uncomfortable with me being close to an open needle and ready to interfere. My eyes move to see him stepping closer to Paige too. "Please don't. You can't. She doesn't want to sleep again." I block the doctors and held my ground for Paige.

"Marle.." Dr. Lynn urged.

"No." I shouted back at them, clenching my fists. The volume of Paige's cries were only increasing. "You're not touching her. She's okay. You said she's okay!" This wasn't fair of them. Paige wasnt an animal that needed to be sedated. Her whole world was falling apart around her and we were all powerless to do anything. I could do this for her.

"We need to..."

"I said don't touch her!"

I grabbed the syringe from her hand and tossed it in the trashcan beside the bed. She'd need a new one now which meant she'd have to leave the room though the look in my eyes is telling her to give up. I turn away from her and my eyes fall on Paige. She's struggling, still weak and tired but she's fighting it with everything she has. I can feel her heart breaking with every shake of her head that's trying to deny the truth through her tears. Quickly I move to her, forgetting about the doctors and everyone else in the room, and I slide on to the bed beside her again. I held her.

She's so pale right now. The pink that's usually so soft on her cheeks is gone and her lips are slightly blue. Her skin feels too cold and my arms wrapped around her, using my sleeves to help warm her while pulling the thin blanket up over her. She didn't pull away from me...not once and she calmed down just having someone hold her. It's all I could offer her and I think she knew that, she needed it. She fell asleep again after awhile and the doctor's left her alone. I didn't move. My eyes would move to Peter and Riley sitting beside us, just watching her as she slept buried into my shoulder, scared for the next time her eyes would open because the screams would start all over again in a tormenting cycle.

Paige's parents silently called me out with that small white card, the one with my name on it. They knew better. Somehow they knew me. They wanted me to be here for Paige. Such a large part of me feels guilty, every part of me does. I havent wanted to be Marley in so long and I may never want to be Marley again but that's not the point. It's that I've fooled a lot of people but not them. Even Riley doesn't know my full name, my last name at least, because he knows how inconsistent my upbringing was. He's never questioned it.

Right now the room is silent. Theres still comfort here no matter how much hurt. Even when its unbearable.

My eyes open and I swallow hard and look at him. He's awake. His chair is moved as close to me as the bed will allow and his arm is draped over my thigh, close to Paige too but careful not to touch her. His eyes move to the card still in my hand and then to me. They're so soft touching me and he's curious but he doesn't ask. He doesn't push. Instead he shifts lower in his chair and hunches over, resting his head against my thigh and letting his eyes close and rest. They're red and I know they're dry and burning painfully the way mine are. Naturally and without words we've taken to sleeping in shifts. My eyes go to the card tight in my hand and I move it closer to his hand on my lap. The slightest movement from me has him lifting his head to see what's wrong, thinking Paige is waking up again or that I need something. He's concerned until his eyes meet mine and the white card I'm offering him now. His jaw tenses slightly in hesitation to take it from my hand but with reassurance in my eyes...he takes it slowly and lets his eyes fall to study it. His eyes water more when they do and it worries me. I don't know what it means. He's sad I know but...maybe he's upset, or angry. He knows now that I kept my name from him. I know my name shouldn't be on this card. I know I don't deserve. Riley must know that too. How could he not? It should be him or Peter. Never me. He's good, he's so much better than I am and I'll never be good enough for him or any of them. Cassie hurting Paige was the final nail in my coffin when it comes to locking my heart away but this...this is burying me.

I feel my eyes pool over and I close them to try and hide it but warmth on my hand pulls them open again. Riley has my hand pressed to his lips...just holding me there in a long kiss and unwilling to let me go. Seconds pass until he places the card back in my hand and closes my fingers around it protectively. Theres nothing but love in his green eyes and comfort in this quiet moment. It confuses me. His actions are so far from my fears moments ago that I don't even know how to process my feelings. So I don't. I'm too tired to try so I bury them with me instead. He presses another kiss to my hand and brings my arm to wrap around his shoulders as he rests his head into my thigh again...asking me to hold him close, needing me to. My fingers move slowly and brush through his hair. I falter when he moves but he's not pulling away. He's trying to nestle closer to me so I keep with the soft movements and it isn't long...a few minutes before his breathing becomes shallow and sleep finds him. Knowing he's sleeping makes my heart hurt less.

My eyes move carefully to Paige still sleeping against my shoulder with her blanket tucked under chin while my left arm is wrapped around her back, holding her to me. Peter is on her side of the bed but he's not sleeping now. His grey eyes are on Paige, his chin resting on his crossed arms on the bed beside Paige's thigh. They flicker up to me and in an instant he's moving to take my free hand that's around Paige's waist and applying light pressure. God, I just want to bury every piece of myself if it means never hurting these people. My walls are high enough already but right now I'm adding a few more layers.

Maybe I've never really fooled anyone. I never want to hurt anybody, not intentionally, but I lied to Paige's parents and they saw through me. They chose me. Don't ask me why. I'm confused about it too. I've done nothing to deserve it at all and I'll probably never do anything in my lifetime to deserve it. It could have easily been Peter's name on this card and it would have actually made sense but it's not his name. It could have been Riley's. It should have been one of them but its my name. Paige may not always need me but she does right now and right now I need her too. She's our only light in this dark room and the only hope that survived something so terrible. Every light seems to be clinging to her. I'm scared for her because I know her life won't ever be the same. She's missing something now and she might never really be okay but she has me...she has all of us. I know we aren't a lot, I'm not much of anything, but I'm not leaving her.

None of us left the hospital for days. I never left the room. When Paige slept I was there and when she woke up screaming I was there too. I held her close while she cried and I cried with her. Riley was beside himself. There were so many times when I'd wake up beside Paige and his head would be nestled into her lap or mine as he cried so quietly that the beeping of the machines drowned him out. Paige's hand would be resting lightly in his hair. My fingers would find their way there too. They'd been a family to him and the loss hit him hard. I didn't have to look at Peter to know his level of pain. I knew Peter and everything he'd been through in his life, his nearly twenty years with the McCullers. Paige had always been like a daughter to him. Time was the only thing capable of healing wounds so deep and even then they left painful scars. Everlasting.

Paige in a lot of ways has been like Gracie to me...or Bailey. She's healed so many of my wounds without even realizing it and I'm hating myself for forgetting that so quickly. I know leaving was a decision I needed to make on my own and now I've made it. I left...I proved to myself that I could. But I'm back now and I'm not leaving again. I need my family. They're all I have.

I run my fingers through Paige's hair again and I pull my eyes away from the road to glance at her still sleeping against my thigh. Her hand is tucked under her chin and her nose is pressed into the purple cotton on my stomach. She's peaceful now and there's a pink to her cheeks that she'd lost three years ago. It's a color I've noticed a lot on her lately, the last week in particular, and I couldn't be more happy about it being back. The person responsible for it? I love her more everyday.

"Je serai toujours là pour toi."

I'll always be here for you.

"Did you sleep okay?" I whisper, the stirring of air in the car bring my eyes back up to the road.

"Yes." Emily answered softly, leaning up from the backseat to rest her chin above my shoulder. "How long as she been sleeping?"

I look down at Paige again and then up at the clock. Its been hours already and I haven't even noticed. I've been lost.

"About three hours." I hear the smile on Emily's lips somehow and she reaches her arm over the seat to touch Paige too, her hand brushing lightly over the bare skin of her arm, over a place that I know used to show small cuts from broken glass though they've long since disappeared. "There's a blanket under the seat." I whisper. "If you think she might be cold or anything..."

Emily shifted away automatically and its a weird feeling even though it feels right. It's weird to see someone caring for Paige as much I do and as much as Riley and Peter. Someone new that in just over a week loves her so openly and doesn't hesitate to show it. Emily is new to Paige's life and to ours but you'd never know it. She loves like someone who's been with Paige her whole life and if it weren't for her I may have missed these moments with Paige now...and the ones to come in the future.

Emily appeared over my shoulder again and I lift my arm for her to drape a violet fleece blanket over Paige's body. She should be warm but I lower my hand again and can't seem to pull my fingers from combing through her hair. The movement freezes when Emily's hand appears in mine, absent-minded and softly picking at a curl on my shoulder. I'm not expecting it but even though it's not close enough for me to really feel...I'm comforted by it.

"I should probably apologize for pulling the 'Purple Card' on you, but I don't really feel sorry about it." Emily admits, letting her fingers twist gentle with the spiral as she watches Paige sleeping.

This makes me smile, Emily half apologizing for doing something amazing. "Well to be fair I gave you the 'Purple Card' first. I just didn't expect karma and usually I'm so good at knowing when that bitch is around."

"Well I told her to practice stealth in this case or I'd kick her ass." Emily chuckled but it was weak. "I'm sorry if it wasn't fair of me though. I'm just learning the people that I want in my life and you're very high on that list."

"Ems plays dirty?" I smile, glancing over at her to see a guilty smile on her lips. She's proud too but she's guilty for feeling proud. "So...since I now have your mother's number I'm gonna text her dirty symbols, starting with these." I wave my hand over my chest and Emily laughed lightly.

"What?" Emily smiled. "Breasts?"

"Exactly." I beam proudly. I told Paige that Emily would have a better word and consider the test passed with flying colors. "Just know that its gonna happen. If she's mad she can take it up with me because I know other body parts so..."

"As long as you promise to leave out all details of any adult behavior her 'Emmy' is taking part in that involves said body parts."

"Emmy?" I look at her playfully. "You know 'Ems' is better than that, right?"

"It's definitely better which is why I didn't argue with the nickname." Emily smiled. "I've dealt with worse my whole life so its nice not to answer to a television production award."

"Well now that that's settled." I tease, letting my eyes drift down to Paige still sleeping. "Riley didn't drool on you did he?"

"No." Emily shook her head and breathed a laugh. "He likes to cuddle though so I'm sorry if that line was crossed."

"Tell me about it. We tend to all lack boundaries in this business. Dont get me started on my games with Peter." I smile. "Seriously just kick him off if you have to. Use force. He's harmless."

"I wouldn't dare. He's fine." Emily moved around behind the seat and returned, holding a package of candy out for me. "I'm guessing Paige offered to drive and failed so I'll keep you company if you want..."

I smile and bring my hand up to pull a cherry red vine from the package and Emily did the same. Holding the candy in our teeth neither of us seem willing to move from far from Paige. When my hand moved to the candy in my mouth Emily's hand drops down to Paige's shoulder and when Emily moves my hand falls back into her hair. I also notice the heat from Emily's breath as her chin is resting close to my shoulder and its relaxing just knowing someone is there. None of us are alone when we're with each other and Emily fits in so well. It feels like these are the last moments of her being new to all of this and new in our lives. Maybe she's always been here.

Emily is the person I have to thank for keeping me where I belong. I lost sight of it. I thought with Emily here Paige would be okay and that's true but...it's not just Paige's parents picking me its Emily picking me too. Emily giving me that purple square of paper was my reminder that three years ago I made a promise to a loving couple that was no longer able to be with their daughter and I made a promise to myself. Silently I made a promise to Paige. There are people that need me and want me and hearing Paige actually say it just reminds me that I need her too. I'm not leaving her ...or any of them. I don't want to miss a second with them. The white card in my wallet proves how precious time is. I have time now but I might not always.

---

"I need to talk to you...about the whole contact thing." Mary whispered, pulling her eyes up from Paige to look at her.

Her eyebrows crinkled as she chewed on the candy, watching Mary struggling with her thoughts. "I really am sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel obligated or ask too much of you."

"It's not an obligation and you aren't asking too much." Mary looked at her reassuringly. "It means the world to me that you asked. That's not what I'm getting at."

"I just don't want you to feel like you have to. I didn't want you to leave and I know Paige didn't. It was a longshot."

"It's not that..." Mary looked down at Paige again. "Clearly it wasn't a longshot seeing as you broke straight through Paige and I about to kill each other."

"Is she still breathing now?" She teased, moving her fingers to touch Paige's hair where Mary's were still combing gently.

"Yes she is." Mary chuckled softly and moved her hand away from Paige, placing it back on the steering wheel instead.

That made her sad for some reason and she pulled her hand slowly away too, bringing it up to rest under her chin she leaned over the front seat beside Mary's shoulder. She looked so much more at peace than she had before and it was clear something had shifted a lot in the time that she'd been asleep.

"Paige was heartbroken." She whispered, seeing Mary glance down at Paige for a second. "When she found out you weren't there she was...I don't know. She just looked lost." Mary's hand moved back to Paige's hair and picked up the same soft movements like it was a natural response and one that made her own body relax more. It meant they had actually talked and were better for it. Paige and Mary were okay now..or at least trying. "I was too." She added. "I felt like I was missing something important too. I feel like I maybe don't have the right at all but I feel like you and Riley are supposed to be in my life too."

"I need to thank you..." Mary looked over at her, the slight shift in the direction of the conversation was disorienting but she nodded in acknowledgment. "But first I want you to know I wasnt leaving to be selfish or spiteful or to punish Paige in any way. That's not what this was. That's not me. I didn't lie to Peter when I told him this was about me, something I needed to do for myself."

"I know." She nodded. "I promise I never thought that. I told Paige days ago that I thought something was wrong but..."

"I know you did." Mary smiled. "She told me and that means a lot to me. I meant what I wrote to you. You're so good for her, you're perfect actually. I like you, not just because Paige is so happy with you but because you care so much about the rest of us and you don't really know us."

"You care about me too." She insisted. "I'm the new one to all of this and you all have done nothing but make me feel welcome and you don't know me either."

"Yeah but you make Paige so happy and we've all waited a long time to see her happy." Mary arched her eyebrows in playful challenge. "You cared enough about us to voice your concerns about Paige and I and you didn't have to do that. You don't owe us anything."

"Okay but you guys are her family and you couldn't even haze me properly." She argued. "You dropped your cards and then I hear from Paige that you're a card shark. I owe you a lot for saving me from stripping in front of strangers. I think with the dress and the barriers and the live singing for the improv...you win."

Mary groaned and threw her head back into the seat with a frustrated smile. This conversation could go on forever with them going in circles and trying to one-up each other on who was more selfless and caring.

"We'll play again and next time I wont drop my cards but just know...you will be stripping."

"I'd still owe you a lot but I'm holding you to that game anyways. Please don't let Paige try to stop it."

"Count on it. She couldnt stop me if she wanted to." Mary nodded her head softly and moved her hand away from Paige, bringing it up over her shoulder to reach for her instead. Her thankful and soft eyes meeting hers just in a quick glance. "But...I know for a fact you did something way more special for me than just throwing a card game."

She watched Mary curiously and moved to lightly take her hand, intertwining their fingers and letting them fall more comfortably to Paige's shoulder. It felt good just knowing that she was here because it had hurt earlier thinking that she and Riley were gone. It hurt watching Paige falling apart and struggling to hold herself together without them. She had felt that loss in their absence too.

"What exactly? The purple card?" She whispered, keeping her touch light against the purple on Mary's skin.

"You asked me to be a contact with your family. I mean the chances of me having to actually do anything with it are so slim but the fact that you asked me to do it..." Mary swallowed weakly and looked down at Paige and their hands resting together on her shoulder. "You're probably wondering why I gave up so quickly when you handed me that and why I didn't fight it at all?"

"I didn't really think about it." She whispered. "I guess maybe I was just happy that it was enough. I didn't want to question your reasons."

"That's another thing about you." Mary rested her head back on the seat, leaving them close enough to whisper. She could pick up soft hints of cherry in her hair. "You're allowed to ask and question things. You're part of this show and this family and you have every right."

"Okay." She nodded, keeping her voice soft. "Can I ask you something then? And tell me if I'm crossing a line I just...its been bothering me."

Mary rolled her head to the side to glance at her and in the quick second that their eyes met she could tell Mary already knew her question.

"Yeah." Mary swallowed weakly and she could see the conflict she was fighting back. "You can ask me anything."

"Um..." She crinkled her eyebrows and tried to quickly untangle her thoughts to form words. "..my first morning on the train, when I met you guys in the kitchen, you told me Paige pulled you away from some guy..." Her throat felt tight and maybe this was really none of her business. Mary telling her she could ask questions was probably limited to the show and simple things but this was so personal...and difficult if it was true. Mary nodded for her to continue so she did. "Paige told me you were okay. I thought to ask Riley but it didn't feel right. I wanted to ask you." Mary nodded again and a soft sigh left her lips. "Did he hurt you? Did he..."

"No." Mary answered quickly and that helped her to breathe. Too soon she stopped breathing again. "Not him..." she added. "...someone else, a boyfriend when I was sixteen. It's why I was so upset about Cassie. I hate that Paige had to go through anything like that."

"How bad wa..."

"Bad..." Mary swallowed hard and shook her head trying to clear images from her memory.

Her eyes stung and she pulled them away from Mary to look back at Riley still sleeping with his messy hair and his head resting against his small window. She remembered the hurt in his eyes when he'd hinted of Mary being similar to Paige, about not making confessions of her own because she didn't want to hurt anyone. Riley must know. He'd looked broken beside Mary when she and Paige had been fighting because he also knew Mary's reasons for wanting to leave. He stood by her because he knows her, probably more than anyone.

"He knows." Mary whispered, bringing her eyes back. "Riley knows and I just told Paige too. I don't want you to feel sad about it and I don't want you to treat me differently. Its been ten years and I'm still not really okay but I'm working on it."

She watched Mary in silence for a few moments. A lot of pain came from knowing that her suspicions had been right and it made breathing hard. The air felt thick. Mary and Paige had gone through things that would tear most people apart completely but they were breathing...fighting through everyday with something in their memories that nobody should ever have. Whoever hurt Mary ten years ago was so lucky to still be breathing with Riley in her life beside her...and Paige...now herself. Cassie was lucky to be breathing too. They were both here now and that's all that mattered and she could spend every day helping them both to be okay again. Mary was here holding her hand, letting them rest together on Paige's shoulder as she slept and telling her that she was part of their family now and that meant support and protection and someone to trust and lean on. Just Mary saying those words out loud made her irreplaceable in her life because Mary didn't owe her anything...she didn't have to say anything but she chose to. She wouldn't hesitate to be there for Mary or any one of them if she was needed. They were hers and she belonged to them now too. After seven years of being alone she'd gained friends, a family so special in just a matter of days.

Her eyes moved down at their hands again and something made her smile while bringing a deep burn behind her eyes. It was in the placement of their hands together on Paige's shoulder. They were resting in a way she recognized from many movies. The way a loved one would give their approval. This felt special. Mary was holding her to Paige like she was telling her it was where she belonged, giving her a silent blessing and reassurance. She shifted her hand out from under Mary's and away from Paige just enough that Mary was making more contact with Paige too. Paige needed both of them and it was easy admitting to herself how much she already needed Mary. She smiled again.

"So...you wanted to thank me?" She whispered, brushing her thumb over her knuckle and Paige's arm.

Mary turned and smiled at her for changing the subject. "Yes." She nodded and leaned back into the seat more, letting their voices carry to each other's ears as just whispers again, words soft enough for only them. "I wanted to thank you for reminding me of a promise I made myself...and Paige's parents three years ago."

Her eyebrows crinkled as she rested her head over Mary's shoulder, trying to think of anything she'd done that would remind Mary of something like that, something so personal. The only thing she'd done wa...

"The note?" She asked.

Mary nodded. "Yes the note. I haven't told Paige this. I don't know if I should or if I even need to..."

"I didn't tell Paige what I wrote you." She interjected. "She asked but I didn't think there was anything wrong with keeping it between us. I told her that."

"You can tell her. I mean if you're worried she'll be upset about it or...you don't have to keep that from her. She wouldn't be upset but I know she'd be happy to be the contact for you if you want her to."

"I don't." She shook her head. "I mean one day I hope she can be too but not now. I want to focus on her without feeling like I'm pressuring her or asking too much. They'd probably do that pestering parents thing and I don't want her to be uncomfortable." She chuckled. "I'd rather she met them first. Not that I'm even thinking that far ahead...because I'm not."

Mary turned and eyed her skeptically with an amused smile on her lips that made her cheeks flush. "If you say so." She teased. "Since you chose to keep it between us I'm going to keep this vague because I don't want you to feel like you have to keep anything else from her..."

Mary looked at her pressingly and she nodded. "Yeah of course."

"I promised myself and her parents that Id be here for her and I've kinda failed at that throughout the years. I've been here but...I also haven't. You asking me to stay and giving me that note is the reason I'm still here now." She nodded again when Mary looked back at her with warm blue eyes. "They left me a card like that three years ago and you reminded me that I need to try harder. I know I do. I'm gonna be here for her...but I'm here for you too because you make her happy. Don't forget that."

She swallowed hard and looked down at Paige still sleeping, at both her and Mary clinging to her like she was everything. She is everything. "Thank you." She whispered. "For accepting me into her life and yours."

"Well..." Mary smiled and squeezed her hand reassuringly. "...right upfront you told me that you aren't going to hurt her. Cassie never thought or cared enough to say that to anyone let alone me. Speaking of the witch..." she looked at her proudly. "You knocked her on her ass. Very good."

She chuckled and her cheeks warmed even more. "I'd like to do more damage but..."

"Paige held you back." Mary sighed, shaking her head lightly. "Yes the dear girl is morally sound. I personally think Cassie could benefit from a few rounds of fighting since she insists on acting the part."

"I'd pay to see it."

"Front row seats." Mary smiled and quieted her voice more. "Don't get me wrong. I hate her with a passion but its sad too, people like her. She's always been selfish and spoiled but...the situation she's in...I feel like that could have easily been my life."

"What do you mean?"

"I've never hurt anybody the way she does, that's not the kind of person I am. Paige found me working at a bar and I started there when I was sixteen. I could have easily ended up in a really bad place if she hadn't come along. We're all just one or two mistakes from throwing our lives away."

She knew what was being said and those words hit close to home because she'd been so lost in Rosewood. If Paige hadn't been there there's no telling where she'd be now...or years from now. "I know what you mean." She agreed.

"I don't like Cassie. I really don't but I don't want her to fail. It's wrong to want someone to fail." Mary insisted as conflict grew heavier in her eyes. "She had chances and she messed up. I just had so much shit tossed at me. I switched schools twice a year or more sometimes and still managed to keep strong grades. Families dropped me left and right and then when I thought I'd found my place...Cole happened and turned my world upside down. I went back into the system and got the job at the bar while finishing school just to save money so that I wouldn't have to rely on anyone else." Mary eyes stared distantly at the lines in the dark road as she took a breath. "I know I didn't do anything to deserve the bad stuff that happened to me but it did. It happened and I can't change it. But Cassie..."she sighed and shook her head disapprovingly. "She's wasting her life. At sixteen I'd already been through so much more than she ever has and I survived. I'm still trying to be okay so to see her making all of these bad choices just...it makes me sad and angry because she has no idea how good she could have it or how much worse it could be. Its her choice. I think one of us kicking her ass may have been a nice wake up call though."

She smiled when Mary laughed quietly but Cassie had made her choices. Hearing Mary speak of her made it even more sickening that Cassie was so vicious in causing problems. At the gas station Mary had aimed to walk past and Cassie couldn't seem to keep herself from trying to tear Mary apart. Cassie had failed to see how good she'd had it. Maybe she was bitter for that reason. Cassie took advantage and took people for granted. It was up to her to change if she even wanted to. That was the moment she gained even more respect for Mary. She'd been through more than Cassie probably ever had. If anyone was a shining example of resilience it was her. Cassie could have learned so much from Mary. Maybe she could too.

"I'm here for you too." She whispered, tightening her grip on Mary's hand and being careful not to press the bruises. They already looked better today. "It goes both ways."

"Can I ask you something then?" Mary smiled. "I'm actually happy I have the chance because I've wondered..."

She smiled because Mary almost squealed through her words and somehow still managed to keep it a whisper. "You can ask me anything." She copied Mary's words.

"Okay so I noticed you joined us in Rosewood and I also know that Paige and her family used to live in Rosewood..." Mary looked at her with suggestive eyes and arched an eyebrow. "Are you really gonna make me ask?" She smiled, biting at her lower lip.

A soft chuckle left her lips as she ducked her down briefly before bringing her eyes back to look at Mary. "We went to high school together up until she moved but I didn't know her."

"So no teenage angst and sneaking into each other's windows or out to the woods at night just to be together?"

She half smiled as she shook her head. All of those things sound amazing. The idea of knowing Paige back then and wondering how they would have been. It may have been amazing or it could have been a curse. She didn't feel like the same person she had been back then. Paige probably wasn't either. Maybe they would have grown and changed together, with the other always there to understand and lean on. Maybe they wouldn't have. There was no way of knowing.

"No, I recognized her on the circus flyer outside the bar but I didn't know who she was...it was just something about her. I wanted to know her."

"Ah yes, the posters. She's the circus beacon meant to call all crazies and screaming children." Mary smiled and pulled her hand away, bringing it to softly comb through Paige's hair again, shallow and even breathes still leaving her lungs. "Big brown eyes and the charming smile."

"I'm gonna be honest I'm jealous of all the time you guys have had with her."

"And I've already told you, Ems." Mary teased. "We can't keep the kind of company this girl needs." Her cheeks warmed but Mary distracted her thoughts, keeping them from running away when she quickly let out a soft anxious groan. "I really wish she'd let us mess with her performance attire though."

"I'm very intrigued by whatever it is that you guys want to do but I'm also very partial to the velvet jacket and the boots."

"Okay keep the boots but...imagine a red velvet version of what I wear in the show." Mary watched her as her smile widened and her cheeks flushed even more.

"Mmm...okay maybe you should keep pushing the issue with her.

"I don't think she'll ever cave so that leaves us the next best thing which...might actually be better."

She eyed Mary carefully. "Me?"

"Of course you, Lovely." Mary smiled and brought her fingertips to her lips to kiss in salute. "Magnifique."

She laughed quietly and moved her eyes to watch Paige, catching a yawn from Mary out of the corner of her eye. "Where are we?"

"Wyoming." She whispered. "Close to Casper."

"You're tired." She noted. Of course Mary was tired. "You've been driving for almost ten hours. Do you want me to drive for a while?"

Mary shook her head firmly and signaled for an exit on the highway. "No I've got a better idea."

She straightened herself up and looked out the window as Mary turned into a parking lot beside a diner and small motel and let the engine die. The lack of vibrations through the car felt weird and left her skin almost fluttering restlessly. Riley didn't move and Paige only nestled into the seat instead when Mary opened the door and carefully climbed out. She moved to follow, when the seat was held up for her, nearly falling from using her legs after sitting for so long. The sky was still black but there were so many stars that allowed just enough light to see the silhouette of a plateau in the distance. She leaned against the car and Mary brought her arms high over her head, bringing her shirt up off her hips as she stretched and looked around too.

"Wyoming sucks. I already hate it. Lets leave as soon as possible." Mary looked over at her before dropping her arms to tug her purple shirt back down over her stomach and moved closer with a warm smile. "Come here." She breathed, pulling her into a hug.

She wrapped her arms around her automatically and smiled too. Mary had a strong presence around everyone on a daily basis. All of her snark and witty banter with Paige and the teasing with Peter, her subtle intensity with Riley. This was different. This was caring and nurturing and only added to her many layers. She'd noticed this difference in her during the dress fitting. She noticed how much there was to her and she could turn around so quickly and surprise everyone. This felt more honest than Mary was around everyone else, more true to who she was.

"Are you and Paige okay?" She spoke softly against her shoulder.

"Eh...we have our moments." Mary sighed, pulling away and smiling as she tucked her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. "Don't forget what I told you about your boots and kicking her ass every now and then. Between the two of us we should be able to keep her in check."

"Sounds good." She smiled. "Just don't give me any special treatment. If I need it...keep me in check also."

"Ems, I give no one special treatment and don't hesitate to return the favor." With a duck of her head Mary moved to the car window and raised her hand to hover over the glass. She froze there and turned to look at her again with soft blue eyes. "Just...promise you'll take care of her and I'll do everything I can to make sure she takes care of you too."

A blush moved across her cheeks. "Promise."

Mary smiled approvingly and then instantly her eyes hardened as she turned back to the window beside Riley's head and brought her hand down on the glass. "Wake up, Princess!" She slapped her hand and startled him awake along with Paige jumping up in the front seat. "Rise and shine and welcome to Wyoming. How the hell did we get to Wyoming you might ask? Magic? Noooooo...*I* drove for ten hours. You're welcome! Now I'm fucking hungry!"

Mary turned on her heels and smiled at her sweetly before she set off towards the diner. She could help but laugh when Paige and Riley climbed dazed out of the car.

"Nice wake up call!" Paige shouted. "I see you're taking after Peter!" Mary didn't turn or falter in her steps. Instead her response was throwing her middle finger up over her shoulder for Paige. "She's not supposed to be a morning person." Paige huffed and glared at Riley. "Fix her please. She's broken so do your damn job."

"If we're getting a hotel room I can spend hours fixing her." Riley smiled suggestively and then sighed defeat when Paige failed to look amused. "It's not technically *her* morning if she hasn't slept." He shrugged. "I'm just saying... she could use some sleep."

"You heard Mary." She stated. "She's hungry and I am too hungry."

"Marley." Paige corrected proudly.

"R...really?" Riley coughed, his eyes wide and hopeful. Her smile widened when Paige nodded and Riley quickly pulled himself together by straightening his tshirt with an excited smile before he trotted off after her. "Maaaaarleeeeyyy!" He sang, catching her half way to the door and wrapping his arms around her stomach as he scooped her up into a hug. She returned the favor and punched him while pushing him away from her which had his laughter echoing through the dark parking lot.

"Marley?" She smiled.

"Hopefully." Paige sighed and cringe at seeing Riley getting hit again. "Maybe use it at your own risk."

Her smile spread because Paige looked so happy now. She had no idea what Paige and Marley had talked about while she and Riley had slept but whatever it was...made a world of difference. Her brown eyes were peaceful and the smile that had been absent for most of the day before was back again...it was so much brighter. She could stare at her forever but as she tried to start that process...Paige noticed.

"What?" Paige smiled, a new wave of pink covering her cheeks at being under her scrutiny.

"Nothing...just...pull yourself together." She teased. "Don't let Marley see you all soft and smiling because I know for a fact that she still fully intends on keeping you on your toes."

Paige arched her eyebrows and cocked her head in that playful and challenging way as she stepped closer. "I'd expect nothing less from her but...does me being soft and smiley bother you?" There was slight crinkle of genuine concern between Paige's eyebrows but it didn't belong there. It didn't need to be there.

"Not all." She shook her head firmly and brought her arms up around Paige's neck. "And if it does get annoying and you and I don't work out I always have Riley as an option, remember?" Paige gripped her fingers hard into her sides to tickle her while still holding her close and denying her an escape. "No no please..."

"Well since you said please." Paige smiled and clutched at her hips to pull her closer.

Twenty-four hours was too long to wait to hold her like this. It seemed like weeks ago that they were standing on the platform saying goodbye to the gold fields and looking forward to spending all day and night hulled up together and now just seeing her smiling again had her stomach twisted into knots.

"Did you sleep okay?" She whispered.

Paige nodded halfheartedly and shrugged. "Yeah kind of."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah just...bad dreams..." Paige sighed with a weak smile. "My parents..."

"Oh..." Her throat felt tight suddenly. It was no doubt a difficult thing for Paige and she couldn't image living through something like that let alone having to relive it through dreams and images that never go away. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No...it's not that." Paige shook her head lightly. "Its just...I've told you and shown you that Marley and Riley...Peter...they've been my family but I've never actually told you how or when that happened. Yes I've spent years with them but it's not just that. It's not just that they've been the only random people I've had. They were there when I woke up in the hospital. Marley never left my side. Its been just the four of us and that's why I needed to make it right with them."

She forced herself to nod but she wasn't sure if her head moved at all as she listened to Paige. She didn't have to be told that she'd missed years with Paige. She already knew that and it was probably the most painful feeling knowing that she couldn't do anything to change that. Paige was just reaffirming what she already knew and the one thing that hurt the most since she'd joined them but she understood the loyalty. She felt it too.

She nodded. "I understand that. They were there for you."

Paige's eyes looked broken suddenly as she looked at her. "Em..." she shook her head and moved her hand to touch her arm. "I know what you're thinking. You're wrong. Its always been you. I didn't even realize it until now. I didn't make the connection but...you've always been here too. This..." Paige grabbed her necklace from under her shirt and singled out the "E". "This is the first charm I had. I never took it off. You were with me the night of the car accident. You were there. I was wearing this and I thought of you. All of the other charms...the clock...Marley's and Riley's ..all of them...they came after you."

The smile that spread across her lips was automatic and felt like the freshest breath of oxygen through her body. She knew she was sad about missing time with Paige and about not being able to be there for her through all of the hard things she'd been through. It was probably the thing that hurt her the most, knowing that she couldn't ever compete with the people who had been there but she'd never really voiced that feeling to Paige. Hearing Paige say that she'd been there without realizing it felt like the truth, unprompted and honest. Paige had thought of her in a time when she had lost so much.

"I love you." Paige whispered

She smiled, letting her eyes close now. She could feel it. The same way she had with just Paige touching her hand in the car. She felt the truth behind her words. Hot breath appeared across her cheek and froze the movement of her lungs. She loved the chivalrous Paige that now pressed a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth, asking gently for permission to move closer. Her eyes stayed closed and she felt her way up the bare skin of Paige's arms and pulled her closer until she felt the car against her back. She dragged them across her skin and felt the goosebumps rise and then they ran into the soft auburn waves over Paige's shoulders and moved the grip at her neck.

"I love you too."

She didn't have open her eyes to see the smile on Paige's face at hearing her words. She could hear it in a sigh that left her lips as she melted into her mouth. Her hands began shaking against Paige's neck the second she tasted her but as she licked lightly across Paige's bottom lip...she pulled away hungrily.

"Would they be really made if we claimed the backseat right now?" She whispered, rolling her tongue over Paige's bottom lip before biting softly and making her moan.

"Maybe but do we really care if they're mad?" Paige nipped at across her lips and brought a hand up to grip into her hip and press her harder into the car.

"I care but..." her eyes squeezed shut tighter when Paige's lips moved to her throat and she couldn't concentrate. She groaned lightly. " no...no I do care." She repeated, feeling Paige smile against her neck as she struggled to think. "I don't want them to be mad at me. I feel like we're all at a good place."

"Maybe but they'll forgive you..." Paige moved back to her mouth and deepened the kiss and pressed her thigh up between her legs making her head spin more. "I'm really willing to take one for the team on this one. They can be mad at me. Then again they're our only ride so it might be a bad idea."

Her hands moved up under Paige's red tank top and dragged slowly up her sides. She felt her shiver in response and the only thing she could think of was wanting a stronger response...wanting more. Paige pressed between her legs harder and her throat felt dry now, her tongue seeking out every curve of Paige's tongue just to gather moisture. Paige brought her hand up above her shoulder to brace against the car, leaving her pinned and Paige breathing hard against her body. Her fingers found their way quickly and grazed over Paige's bra before slipping under and rolling her thumb over her nipple, teasing it as it instantly hardened for her.

"Fuck..." Paige groaned and moved her hand quickly to the handle of the car door to open it and her eyes widened. "Its locked." She pulled again and immediately broke away from her to walk around to the other side and pulled hard on that handle too. "Fuck seriously?" Paige snapped, pulling again to no avail. "DAMNIT." She slapped her hand hard into the glass.

"Great now I really feel bad." She sighed and shook her head. "I was willing to toss all respect for Marley and Riley and their property out the window and compromise their car..."

Paige groaned in frustration. "Who the fuck locks their car in..."

"A dark parking lot beside the highway in a new city and state?" She chuckled and received Paige's embarrassed eyes. She knew she was right. "Paige.." she soothed, walking around to take her hand.

"How do you feel about dark romantic parking lots?" Paige teased.

"Good." She nodded surely. "Very good because I have Hanna's stun gun in my purse and I can always use it on anyone that sneaks up on us in said dark romantic parking lot."

"Even the police when we get arrested for public indecency?" Paige grinned, making her laugh and both of them accept defeat. She wrapped her arm around her waist and started the walk to the small diner. "Well we tried at least."

It was easy to find Marley and Riley in the diner seeing as there were only two other patrons inside and both of which were sitting in stools at the counter. Her eyes moved to a booth beside the front window and landed on Marley smacking him with a menu. They were so dysfunctionally cute that she felt guilty. As they approached they were met with knowing blue eyes and an amused smile as Marley dropped the menu back to the table. Riley was already sliding glasses of orange juice across the table as they slid into the booth across from them. This polite gesture from him made her feel even worse.

"Took you long enough." Marley smiled, bringing a mug of hot tea to her lips with both hands as she rested on her elbows. "Any particular reason?" She took a slow tentative drink and her eyes twinkled as she fought a smile. God she felt bad now. Oh the betrayal. Maybe a bit dramatic but she liked Marley and Riley and didn't want to lose their respect the second she'd earned it by being blatantly disrespectful.

Paige rolled her eyes. "We were just talking."

"No we weren't." She shook her head firmly and brought Marley's amused and surprised eyes to her instead. She couldnt add lying to the list. "No... nope we were gonna have sex in the car but the doors are locked. I'm sorry."

Riley choked on a drink of juice he was taking and Marley's had moved to slap his back without looking at him. Instead she looked at Paige and scrunched up her nose with a proud smile.

"Nice Paige." She sighed. "You give me your jabs about having sex in a car that happens to belong to the person I'm having sex with but you have no problem having sex in a car that isn't yours."

"I'm sorry." she repeated and was met with a warm smile from Marley while Paige chuckled.

"I forgive you, Ems." Marley reached into her pocket and pulled out the keys, dangling them from her finger. "Did you forget there's a hotel next door?" Her eyebrows arched. "Go ahead. Take the keys and go defile Riley's pride and joy. You've only been friends for ten years. It's cool." She shrugged. "We don't want to be the equivalent of a cock-blocker."

Marley's voice was laden with sarcasm and while Riley continued to cough...Paige only laughed and hung her head low as her cheeks flushed. She gave up quickly, having proven her point and tucked the keys back into her pocket with playfully scolding eyes.

"I'm really sorry." She insisted.

Marley laughed lightly and winked. "You're fine. Paige on the other hand should learn some honesty from you."

"Consider this a last attempt." Paige sighed in defeat and reached for her juice. "Riley, I'll ask permission next time I want to have sex in your car."

Riley coughed again. "Food!" He stated, deterring the topic as an attempt to spare himself from having to listen. "Foods done."

A clatter of dishes brought their eyes to a young waitress struggling with plates at the counter. Marley was immediately out of her seat and walking over to help her, saving a small bowl of fresh fruit from being dropped and stacking a few plates of pancakes and bacon up the length of her arm without missing a beat.

They watched her as she carried them over, with the waitress trailing awkwardly behind, and slid them across the table in front of them before plopping down into her seat again and reaching for syrup. Their eyes were on her and she sensed it quickly, freezing with a fork in her hand like she was wielding a weapon that she fully intended on using.

"What?" She asked with a shrug, not enjoying their scrutiny. "I told you I was a waitress."

"Ten years ago?" Paige eyed her skeptically.

"It's like riding a bike or..." Marley's eyes sharpened more. "It's like sex, Paige. You don't just forget how to do it." She stabbed a purple grape out a bowl and popped it into her mouth.

Riley's cheeks turned pink as he smiled and ducked his head down to his plate and Paige and cleared her throat and focused on what was in front of her. Needless to say everyone ate quietly for the most part...all of five minutes. Paige was happy with a glass of orange juice and not much else and Marley looked like she clinging to desperately to her mug of hot black tea and trying to stay awake.

"So..." Riley started. "On a scale from one to ten how hard of a time is Peter gonna get over this whole thing? I feel like its my manly duty to warn him in advance."

"Twenty." "Eleven." Paige and Marley spoke in unison and it was surprising that Paige said the higher number...What with Marley having already threatened his manhood.

"Wow Paige, holding a grudge?" Riley laughed.

"Yes." She replied surely. "I'll deal with him and why isn't your number higher?" She pointed at Marley. "What happened to kicking him in the nuts?"

"I figured ten would be me kicking him in the nuts so I opted for eleven to be really thorough. But actually...I think if I kick him he might be a little leery of me getting near him again and I'm really not willing to give up our relationship antics." Marley shrugged and brought her mug to her lips to blow on it. "I love him too much. Besides...'twenty', Paige? What all does that entail? Castration?"

"No that's eleven actually." Paige smiled proudly and made Marley shake her head lightly as she drank her tea.

"Oooohh." Marley's smile widened. "You should try to call him."

Paige grinned knowingly and reached into her pocket for her phone when Marley nodded and winked over her cup. "I really hope they're in a place with service right now."

"For the most part we always have service." Riley shrugged. "I get online with my gaming systems all the time. I've never had problems with it."

Paige's smile grew as she punched one number on the speed dial and brought the phone to her ear, her foot tapping anxiously against the floor. "Peter." She beamed, making her voice more firm and scolding. "Yeah just wanted to let you know that Marley and Riley weren't at his parent's house. Apparently they're headed to the cabin in Oregon so Emily and I are heading out there to find them." She took a breath to listen as Peter spoke, her eyebrows crinkling as she grew more upset. "No, there's no way we'll be back for the next stop at all. It's too late to cancel this one. You're gonna have to take over for me." Mary shook her head with a smile but Riley looked at Paige disapprovingly. He clearly felt bad. "You're gonna have to deal with it. Have the girls practice for a longer time slots and you know how to work with Stella. Theres plenty of dresses to chose from so I'm sure there's something in your size." Marley snorted on her tea and Riley still looked pained but Paige was biting back a smile. "Well I didn't do this, Peter. It all could have been avoided if you'd just told me sooner so man up and fix it. Dont let me down. Hopefully we'll be back in a month or two." Paige clicked the phone off and laughed as she tucked it back in her pocket. "And right now Peter is running through the train screaming in panic."

"That's really mean, Paige." Riley sighed, shaking his head helplessly.

Marley smiled. "Yeah a little bit. Fuck Paige, what's my punishment?"

"Watching Peter suffer." Paige grinned proudly.

"Well that's no good." Marley frowned. "I don't want you stepping on my toes while I'm making him suffer. Stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours. Also...don't touch his nuts. I need them."

"Deal." Paige agreed quickly.

Riley shifted uncomfortably next to Marley "Ummm..." he cleared his throat. "So.. my nuts are off the table on this one right?" Marley choked on a laugh and placed her mug down before she dropped it all together.

"Fuck I hope so." Paige groaned.

Marley smiled. "They better be."

"Well actually...you took off and didn't say anything to me either." Paige frowned, leaning on her elbows. "Marley didn't have a working contract but you did."

"I talked with Peter and signed my slot to Emily." He argued defensively.

Just looking at Riley's face she could see that he felt bad about it all but his loyalties were to Marley. He'd told her before the improv that his heart was with Marley and wherever she was, he'd stay with her. Paige had the right to be upset but it wouldn't have changed Riley's decision either way. Luckily Marley's decision had been changed and she felt good that she'd played a part in that. It's over and done with though so why is this topic still ongoing?

"You should have talked to me." Paige scolded.

"If you don't trust Peter to handle paperwork then don't let him do it." He shrugged. "You let him do it because you need the help. You can't be selective on how he does the exact job you and your parents taught him just because its personal to you. There's no favoritism and we followed the books. Your family's books." Riley pointed out. "I'm not just fighting for the rights of his nuts...I'm fighting for the rights of mine and every man after me." He jabbed his finger into the table top to drive home his point...quiet dramatically.

"Oh my God, kill me now." Marley whined and dropped her head down hard into the table, leaving it there while her brown waves curtained around her.

Paige was smiling now and all she suddenly wanted was to slam her head into the table top too. Marley had the right notion. There was only so much 'talking in circles' that a person could take before slamming their skulls into hard objects began to sound like the better prospect. Her eyes were left darting between them so fast it was nauseating and Marley made no attempt to lift her head from the table. There was a very good chance that she was asleep.

"Its called common courtesy, Riley." Paige argued. "We've been friends for over ten years. You could have told me."

"I know you!" He stressed. "I knew you'd show up. I didn't expect that you'd let the train leave you behind but I knew you'd show up."

"That was a huge gamble to make." Paige scoffed. "What if I hadn't showed up?"

"Was it a gamble? Cuz...oh wait...thats right...you did show up. Look who I'm dating, Paige!" Riley pointed to Marley still unmoving against the table. "I'd rather face your wrath than hers because she takes really good care of my nuts...most of the time. I'm a guy but I'm not stupid. I'm not going to be stuck between you two."

"No, you are kind of stupid actually." Paige disagreed.

'This is kind of stupid' she thought, picking at a piece of fruit on her plate.

Marley's head shot up suddenly with wide eyes and a smile directed right at her. She crinkled her eyebrows under her gaze but quickly noted the silence of Paige and Riley staring at her too. Shit. She hadn't thought that...she'd actually said it.

"You okay, Ems?" Marley smiled proudly, coaxing her.

"Fine." She shot, tossing a grape back to her plate and keeping her eyes away from everyone. "I think everyone is allowed to have their reasons for their choices. Paige, you told me that my contract doesn't hold me to anything so why should Riley's be any different? Riley, you maybe should have said something but I feel your pain about being in the middle here because I'm even more on the sidelines than you are. Be mad at me if you want because technically Riley told me before the improv that he'd stay if Marley did so I guess, in a way, I knew about it before hand. I think everyone knows what went wrong and what needs to change so can we safely stop arguing about the same shit. And for fuck's sake give Peter a break...for once."

"Check please." Marley chimed, flicking her hand up into the air to signal the waitress.

There were long moments of silence that followed where she just felt everyone's eyes on her but she didn't care. She loved them all but arguing about something that was over and done with wasnt doing anyone any good at all. It was just salt in still healing wounds and if it was painful to watch for her than it had to be painful for them. It was just a matter of how long they wanted to stay bitter about it and pretend it didn't hurt. It wasn't even about her directly and it hurt. She chanced bringing her eyes up from her plate to see Marley smiling into her tea and Riley nodded approvingly as he picked at a piece of bacon. Paige was the last person her eyes landed on and she sighed when she felt Paige's hand on her thigh under the table, reassuring and soft. She looked at her, her peaceful smile and warm eyes. Apparently speaking her mind was a good thing when the circus people couldn't stop bickering long enough to actually get over what they're bickering about. And poor Peter.

The table shook as Marley jumped in her seat, sloshing tea from her mug with startled eyes that landed on Riley beside her...a sly smile on his face. She was confused for all of two seconds until she realized his hands were under the table and out of sight and Marley's cheeks were a brighter pink now as she punched him in the shoulder. He made her jump again.

"Okay." Marley announced, reaching to pull cash from her back pocket and tossing a hundred dollar bill on the table. "Time to go...lets go...lets just...go...now. Please."

Toooo where?" Riley perked up in his seat, feeling like a winner, and moved to scoot out of the booth behind her with hopeful eyes.

"Toooo the car." Marley replied quickly.

Riley's shoulders slumped. "Okay but that hotel is right there if you need to sleep...or...anything."

"Oh I plan on sleeping." Marley agreed. "Is it hot in here?" She frowned, flustered in her movements as she bunched up the sleeves on her purple shirt and gave them a restless look. In the time that she'd been around them all she'd never once seen Marley become anxious or blushy the way she was now. "Are you two staying here?"

"A hundred dollars?" Paige challenged. "That's probably thirty dollars worth of food. "

"Hey!" Marley's finger shot out to point at Paige firmly. "Waiting tables is fucking hard and underpaid. I'm sharing your wealth since you wont let me buy a horse."

"Right, I guess we're going now." Paige nodded and they quickly scooted out of the booth too, Paige's arm wrapping automatically around her waist as they pushed through the doors.

It was still dark outside but the stars were slowly beginning to fade with the lightning of the blue around the horizon. The plateau was more visible now looking like a black tabletop for a giant. Paige watched her feet as they walked across the dark gravel and doing that made her long hair curtain her face and had her bringing a hand up to tuck it behind her ears on one side. She felt breathless every time she looked at her but now...the small crinkle between her eyebrows as she concentrated on careful steps and slight part of her lips letting the lightest breath through. Paige must of felt her gaze because she looked over at her and smiled with a spreading warmth across her cheeks. Marley and Riley were walking ahead of them and she pushed him away every time he tried touch her only to pull him closer by his t-shirt every time he tried to give up and not touch her. Her terms. It would be wrong except that the grin on Riley's face said he was loving it completely and quickly his strength won out and he locked his arms around her waist and let her squirm against him. Paige shook her head beside her.

"What?" She pressed. "I'm right aren't I? About her feeling the same way?"

"Yes I think you're right." Paige admitted. "But that doesn't make them any less dysfunctional."

"Then I hope we're as dysfunctional as they are one day."

"Later rather than sooner right? I'm just wondering so I know that as long as were not dysfunctional then I know we still have a long way to go."

She smiled at that logic but figured it was fine to let Paige think they would be able to keep dysfunction from taking them over. They live with a traveling circus after all. The odds werent in their favor but luckily everyone here was happy with the amounts of crazy.

"Doors are unlocked now, Ladies." Marley smiled beside the car door and held the passenger side open like a chauffeur. "Have at it. Just go to town and really tear that pu.."

"Earmuffs!" Riley laughed, shaking his head.

"I'm really sorry." She repeated.

"Please." Mar rolled her eyes dismissively. "I'm just giving Paige a hard time, calling her out on the blatant 'we were just talking' lie."

"How about the blatant 'these are just keys to Mrs.B's car when they're actually keys to the cabin?"

"Oh my God." She groaned, again with them bringing up old issues.

"Yeeees you're right, Emily." Paige smiled and set her sights on Marley. "Come on, Mar. Hug time."

Marley's expression shifted at the turn of events and now she was mentally kicking herself for giving Paige a hard time, watching her warily as her arms extended to form a barrier between them. "Dont." She warned.

"Oh it's happening." Paige stepped closer. "Hug me, Marley."

"I don't want to."

Paige smiled. "Baby, don't fight it."

"Ok seriously, Paige." Marley warned again and back-stepped away from her. She liked physical contact on her terms and Paige was proudly stepping over her barriers.

Paige sighed and moved closer. "You're making this harder than it needs to be."

Marley groaned as Paige's arms closed around her and rocked her into a hug. She tried to push Paige away but her fight was weak and she quickly opted to just stand there motionless like a rag doll in a toddler's arms and hope it ended soon. Like standing in quicksand struggle only resulted in Paige holding her closer.

"No noodle arms." Paige tisked. "Hug me back."

Riley chuckled as Marley sighed and brought her arms up to return the embrace. Paige squeezed her tighter and forced another groan from Marley's mouth before releasing her and turning away proudly. The twinkle that formed instantly in the blue of Marley's eyes had her looking at Paige in concern. It was a scheming kind of brightness. There wasnt time to stop it. Marley moved gracefully and the cracking sound of her hand making contact with Paige's ass echoed through the empty parking lot and nearly buckled Paige's knees from under her.

"Fuck!" Her eyes slammed shut while reaching to clutch at her right cheek. She was very fond that hand placement. Another reason to thank Marley.

Marley smiled proudly at her again. "Welcome to the family, Ems." She winked

Paige ducked her head with a smile and moved around sheepishly to the driver's side where Riley was standing, his face just as amused as everyone's but quickly he blocked the door with his arm and stopped her from climbing in the backseat. His chest was puffed and he stood strong in her path. Paige froze and looked at him curiously but at the same time it was like she'd expected this, some silent exchange passing between their eyes. Marley looked confused and it seemed to take a lot to surprise her with anything. Props to Riley for whatever this was about. Marley wasnt in on it.

"Just so you know..." He smiled lightly before he became serious in the next second. "I'm the better kisser. I know you and I go back ten years but please don't kiss my girlfriend again."

Paige nodded automatically. "Yeah, I probably deserve that."

"Yeah you kinda do." He smiled in agreement.

Marley leaned against the car and rested on her arms on the roof. "Well Riley, you could always just kiss her girlfriend and even the playing fields here." She winked. "Well...that wouldnt really be even though because then Emily would be kissing my boyfriend and then the only thing left would be for her to kiss me and then Paige you'd have to kiss him..." she sighed and shook her head as she debated with herself, all of them left standing and watching speechless. "And well...it just might never end and quite frankly I'm too damn tired right now to satisfy three people so...Paigey and Ems...take the backseat."

"So...no to the kissing then?" Riley mumbled, dragging his hand awkwardly to mess his hair.

Marley smiled and scrunched up her nose at him playfully. "Drive and I'll make it up to you."

Riley turned and ushered Paige quickly into the backseat now. She slid in beside Paige and Marley flipped the seat back, closing them into a the tight cozy space while they took the front, Riley now behind the wheel.

"Seven hours and we should be there. Five since I'm driving." He joked, earning a shove in the dark from Marley beside him. "Make them count and sleep before its back to work."

He turned the key and the engine roared to life, once again casting a red and blue glow over darkness in the car. Almost instantly they made her eyes feel heavier as they worked to adjust to the dim lighting. Marley reached and flipped the rearview mirror up and away from them, leaving it to point at the ceiling instead and making it useless. She leaned into him and planted small kisses against his neck that had him slamming the shifter forwards and peeling out towards the highway again. Paige's arms closed around her and pulled her back against her chest, holding her close and bringing with her the scent of musk and orange. Her eyes relaxed more.

"Hand check." Paige laughed, bringing her attention to the front seat. She easily zeroed in on Marley biting at Riley's ear as his hand became lost in her hair, encouraging her.

"Seriously, Paige?" Marley turned to them. "Coming from the girl that was about to go all 'covert sex fantasy' on Riley's car? 'Hand check' me all you want because the best don't need to use their hands." She bunched up the violet blanket that Paige had been wrapped in earlier and tossed it over the seat at them. "Just please keep yourselves covered. I'm going to sleep now because I drove for ten hours so be quiet back there."

Marley turned around and left them staring at her blankly, slightly stunned, while she planted a chaste kiss on Riley's lips and sunk lower into the seat, resting her head on his thigh and disappearing from their line of sight. Paige shifted lower too and wrapped the blanket around them as she held her close, planting a soft kiss against her forehead.

"Tired?" She whispered.

Paige nodded and yawned against the top of her head and the warmth of holding her made her body relax. Mixing with the soft blanket and the cool air circulating it was perfect, dark with only the sound of the engine and her breathing. They turned more shallow with each passing minute but the sound of Riley's fist crashing into the steering wheel made them both jump and look at him questioningly. He didn't speak, instead he flipped the air controls a little higher and...hit the steering wheel again. It was softer this time but Paige shook her head.

"You're gonna wake Marley up if you're not careful." Paige warned.

"Yep cuz she's sleeping." Riley nodded.

"Yeah...clearly." Paige agreed.

"She's sleeping." Riley mumbled "Ten hours of driving will make you sleepy. Holy fuck..."

Riley sunk a little lower in his seat and eyebrows furrowed as he bit his lower lip and gripped harder into steering wheel. He didn't seem to be paying attention to them at all, his focus solely on driving and he sounded more like he was talking to himself. One hand fell away and dropped into his lap, into Marley's hair while she slept...oh. It made sense all at once with tension in his shoulders. She wasn't sleeping.

Paige's eyebrows crinkled curiously as she studied him and moved to lean up over the seat. "Riley, whats your probl..."

She moved her hand to quickly cover Paige's mouth and pulled her back, stopping Paige's advancing eyes and breathing a 'shhh' with a sly smile. Paige's eyes widened when it clicked and she looked at Riley, scolding him but his attention wasnt on them. Paige's eyes moved back to her. They always softened when they were on her. She moved closer and pressed a kiss to Paige's lips, shifting their bodies to lay down across the backseat and spreading the blanket on top of them. She snuggled under Paige's chin and planted another small kiss on her collarbone, breaking away to bring her eyes up to look at her.

"I need you to be really quiet." She breathed.

Paige swallowed hard but she nodded and brought her tongue out to lick the dryness from her lips.

She lowered her hand beneath the blanket and this time didn't jump when they heard Riley hit the steering wheel again followed by the radio being flipped on to a higher volume. That was a blessing in case Paige wasn't able to be completely quiet. A quick flick of her wrist and she released Paige's jeans and inched lower. A soft whimper left Paige's lips before she'd even touched the creased of her thigh. The radio would definitely be a blessing.

---

Long December- Counting Crows (I do not own these lyrics)

A long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember the last thing that she says
"You were leaving, oh the days go by so fast"

And it's one more day up in The Canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think that I could be forgiven
I wish you would
Na na na
Yeah

The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl

And it's one more day up in The Canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think you might come to California
I think you should
Na na na
Yeah

Drove up to hillside manor sometime after 2 a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower
Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her

And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass

And it's one more day up in The Canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
It's been so long since I've seen the ocean
I guess I should
Na na na
Yeah

---

The Sun Will Rise- Kelly Clarkson w/ Kara DioGuardi (Emily & Marley) {I do not own these lyrics}

I can see the wait there in your eyes
I can feel the thought in your sigh
Your knuckles are bruised from a losing flight
One way down a dead end street
Broken glass underneath your feet
You think the day won't break the sunless night

The sun will rise
The sun will rise
When you've lost your lights
The sun will rise
It'll be alright
It'll be alright

I've been in stuck in a storm before
Felt the wind raging at my door
Couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't find a way out
Somehow my clouds disappeared
Somehow I made it here
Maybe just so you could hear me say

The sun will rise
The sun will rise (The sun will rise)
When you've lost your lights
The sun will rise
It'll be alright (It'll be alright)
It'll be alright
It'll be alright
It'll be alright

Although you can't see it
So hard to believe it
Sometimes you just need a little faith (All you need is a little faith)
There's an answer to your prayer
And I swear that there'll come a day, yeah

The sun will rise

It'll be alright

The sun will rise