Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight or anything related to Twilight. I do however own Robert Pattinson... OK so I dont! But, I WISHHH I DID! Gahhh he's one sexy beast! OK, OK, Onwards...

Here We Go Again

Chapter Twenty One

BPOV

"Right Tony, I'm off for tonight. Say goodbye to Bianca for me."

We both burst out laughing at my fake request. As if Bianca would care that my shift had finished. She was in the store room at the moment refilling napkin holders, opting to stay clear of anyone beneath her, which in her opinion was everyone. Once again, why in the world was she working here?

"Fine! Leave me with HER! And I thought you loved me!"

He pulled out the pout and batted his eyes at me. It would have been a heart breaking expression had he not been shaking with giggles at the same time.

"Tony! I've done my shift. What do you expect from me. I'm still in school! As if they would let me work any later, even if it's not a school night. Rules, rules, rules."

He giggled and muttered quietly under his breath.

"Rules were made to be broken..."

I couldn't reply to his comment as I shouldn't have been able to hear him, so I started moving towards my helmet in the back room.

Walking back out into the bar, I shuffled over to Tony and gave him a gentle squeeze.

"I'll see you on Monday. I'm late as it is, I best be going."

He tightened his arms around my waist and shook his head petulantly. The bar was fairly quiet for a Friday night and there was no-one ready to be served, so he refused to release his grip. Of course I could easily move away from him, but I could feel the force he was using to keep me there and I didn't want to blow my cover or come across as some kind of super strong she-beast. He was laughing as I tried to escape his grip with exaggerated weakness. After a few more seconds, I decided what I would have to do. With my right hand, I bought my index finger into my mouth and then quickly poked it into his left ear.

"Wet Willy!"

With a girly shriek I was finally released.

I backed away from him towards the door, giggling as I watched him scrubbing furiously at his ear in disgust.

"You asked for that buddy."

He just shook his head at me and smirked evilly.

"Just remember this Bella. Pay backs a bitch."

He waved and made his way back behind the bar just as a customer approached ready to order. That couldn't be good.

It was 10.25pm and the journey home would take 15 minutes even at top speed. I hated being late, even if we weren't pressed to be anywhere specific. I couldn't even ring Edward to tell him because stupidly, none of us had exchanged numbers yet. With that knowledge in mind, I sprinted to my bike and gunned the engine, racing out of the staff car park. Speeding down the winding roads, I took occasional glances at the watch on my wrist. I was already 5 minutes late with another 10 minutes of journey left to travel. I increased my speed, hoping beyond hope I wouldn't be caught by the police as I was going 50mph over the speed limit. I wouldn't be able to talk my way out of this.

Luck was with me. I saw the house gradually come into sight and let out a breath I hadn't realised I was holding. I was 15 minutes late. Strangely the front porch was empty of my usual greeters. Had I upset him so much that he refused to meet me? Where were the others? Were they angry too? I walked slowly up the steps and hesitated at the door. I wasn't sure how to react in this situation. I may live here now but this is still their house. Tentatively I raised my hand and rapped my knuckles 3 times on the door frame. Half a second later the door flew open revealing an amused Jasper.

"Bella. What are you doing? You don't have to knock! You live here. We were waiting for you to walk in."

If I could have blushed, I would have been bright red at that moment.

He ushered me into the front room, where the others sat equally amused. We exchanged casual greetings before I excused myself to get ready for the hunt. The room I had been supplied with had stunned me the first time it was revealed. They had put so much effort into making this space comfortable for me, that my eyes had prickled uselessly with the urge to cry. Happy tears. It had been so long since anyone had looked after me in anyway. Of course I love my parents, but I was more or the caregiver in our family. Until the Cullens came along all those years ago, I had rarely been given so much care and nurturing. I was the nurturer. That's why when they left, I found it hard to go back to my old ways. I was too used to the feeling of being looked after, that I hated the thought of being the old Bella again. Of course I learned to cope, but this family changed me a long time ago.

Shaking myself off that train of thought, I shuffled my now cleanly dressed self over to Edwards room. I just hoped he wouldn't be too angry with my being late. Knocking I waited for permission to enter. It didn't come. I heard nothing but absolute silence. If it wasn't for the deliciously heavy scent of him in the air, I would have thought the room to be empty. Timidly I stuck my head through the door and cast my eyes around the room. He was sat in the middle of his leather couch, staring off into space. His Ipod lay discarded next to his rigid posture.

Walking into the room, I cleared my throat hoping to get his attention. His head snapped in my direction and a look of relief flooded his face.

"I'm so sorry I'm late Edward. I had to help my friend out behind the bar a little longer after my shift. Do you still want to come with me?"

He stood slowly from his spot and walked over to where I stood by the door.

"I thought you weren't going to turn up. I thought you might regret wanting to be alone with me."

I shook my head slowly. That was far from the truth, but I couldn't admit to that.

"Sorry again. Of course I wouldn't stand you up. I was angry with myself for not giving you all my mobile number. I wanted to call you so you would know why I was going to be late."

We smiled at each other and the last of the hurt in his eyes thankfully vanished.

Like always, as our eyes stayed connected, the electricity between us intensified tenfold. I could tell he was being similarly affected, as his hypnotizing golden eyes started darkening right before me. He took a step forward leaving only a few inches of space between our charged bodies. I could feel and smell his heavenly scent brush across my face as his exhales gradually increased in frequency. I urged to close the gap and pull his lips down to mine. To snake my hands into his unruly bronze locks and never let go. Before I could give in to my desires, I reluctantly turned away from his intense smouldering gaze and walked back towards his door.

"I'm just going to go write down my number for everyone. I'll meet you downstairs."

I didn't give him chance to reply as I sped down the stairs and into the kitchen. I scribbled down my number and attached it to the fridge before taking a few deep breaths to calm myself down.

I walked back into the living room and told them all about my number. They nodded and told me that they would write their numbers on the paper aswell. Edward was stood by the front door smiling reassuringly and motioning for me to follow. Feeling very rude, I offered out the invite.

"Do any of you want to come with us?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edwards smile drop slightly. Before I could turn and ask what was wrong, the others all politely declined and told us to have fun. Confused, I walked out of the room following behind a very cheerful Edward.

Running with Edward was like nothing I had ever experienced before. His speed amazed me to no end. I faintly recalled a time back in Forks, of Esme telling me that Edward was the fastest runner within their family. She was definitely right. I couldn't imagine anyone being faster than Edward with his lightning fast movements. His feet barely touched the ground as he raced through the damp forest undergrowth by my side. He had graciously slowed down after the initial 10 minutes of laughing at my slowness. He may be frustratingly faster than me, but I could without a doubt leap higher and further than him even on my worst day.

We spent almost an hour taunting each other over our superior skills. Challenging each other to races and jumping competitions. He won the speed contests by a wide margin and I won the contest to see who could clear as many trees as possible. All in all I was enjoying myself to the full. I had never hunted with anyone before, having been alone since my change. I felt care free and happy. The smile on my face refused to go away. I knew deep down that Edwards company was a large factor in my happiness. I had missed him so much, even when I felt hatred for him, I still craved his presence. My heart begged me to let him back in, but my head refused to accept that fate. I know I will always love the amazing man running by my side, but I knew I couldn't let him in any more than he already is. I wouldn't survive the agonising heartbreak if anything ever made him leave again. I was already in far too deep.

A few minutes later we gradually slowed down, realising just how far we had travelled. No matter how comfortable I felt around Edward, I knew better than hunting with another vampire. If I saw him approaching while I stalk my prey, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from attacking him. I was well aware of our vampire instincts to defend our kills. He would become a threat in my mind.

Turning back to face Edward, I smiled reassuringly before relaying my plan.

"How about we split up and meet back here when we've finished? I get kind of defensive when hunting. You understand?"

He nodded and moved closer to where I sat perched on an ancient pine trunk. I shuffled over a bit to make room for him to sit. He leant forward and cocked his head to one side, looking up at me curiously.

"What are you hunting today? You know I prefer mountain lions, so I was just wondering what you enjoy."

I knew my answer straight away.

"My favourite is Caribou but I'm not that fussy. I do like black bear aswell but I think Caribou is less sickly. Whatever I can find today will do me just fine."

A question for him sprung to mind so I leant forward mirroring his pose. The sides of our bodies were pressed tightly together and I tried to ignore the way my skin tingled from the contact.

"Here's a question for you. What's the weirdest animal you've drank from?"

I watched as he absent-mindedly scratched his chin in thought. That was completely unnecessary, obviously just a habit from our human charade. After a few seconds he answered.

"I think the strangest animal definitely has to be the porcupine. A long time ago Emmett dared me try one. It was better than I thought it would be, but not appealing enough to make me want to hunt them regularly."

I laughed at the mental image created.

"What about you?"

That was an easy answer again but I was hesitant to tell him. He noticed my reluctance.

"Hey that's not fair, I told you mine. Come on it can't be that bad?"

He gave me the puppy dog look and I gave in. He was too cute for words.

"Fine! Don't you dare laugh at me I was curious."

I took a deep breath then relented my answer.

"Chicken isn't as appealing as it was when I was human."

Before I could explain, Edward burst out laughing at my expense. I glared and childishly turned away from him.

After a minute I could feel his body stop shaking with chuckles.

"I'm sorry Bella. Its just that imagining you hunting a chicken is the cutest thing ever. Please explain, I'll behave now I promise."

I turned back around and assessed his expression. He was still too amused for my liking but I needed to explain myself. With a huff I answered.

"I was fully fed and on my way home when I saw a few chickens outside of a farm entran... Hey! Stop laughing!"

He quickly zipped his lips and pretended to throw away the key. How annoyingly adorable.

"So as I was saying..."

I threw him a glare before carrying on.

"I just thought that seeing as they had escaped their pen, the farmer would have to take losses on account of foxes and such. I faintly remembered the taste of chicken from cooking it for Charlie a lot. I was curious. I wanted to see if the blood tasted of chicken. Trust me it didn't."

I chose to ignore his shoulders shaking with silent laughter and finished my explanation.

"It tasted like vegetation and dirt. I wouldn't recommend it."

His silent laughter shook me slightly with its force.

"If you carry on laughing, I'm going to rip your arm off and beat you with it."

His laughter erupted full force and he bent over laughing uncontrollably.

Embarrassed, I pushed him off our seat with a playful shove to his back. Surprised, he fell forward landing on the damp muddy floor with his hands flat to the ground. He looked back up at me with a startled expression. It was my turn to laugh, his face was comical in his shock. As I giggled, a devious smile spread across his stunning face making me instantly nervous. Before I could react he reached forward and wiped his muddy hands across my cheeks laughing at my now shocked expression. So that's how he wants to play! I bent down quickly and scooped up some mud on my finger tips and in the same movement smeared it across his left cheek. Soon a mud war broke out.

I'm not sure how it happened, but we somehow ended up slumped against a tree laughing hysterically at our filthy appearances. We called it a draw after I'd shoved mud into his jeans pockets and I'd had mud rubbed into my scalp. We were both caked in mud and ridiculously amused. As soon as our laughter died down we decided to finally do what we came to do. Hunt. We stood up brushing down our clothes as much as possible and preparing ourselves to feed.

"I'll go East and meet you back here later. OK?"

He nodded in confirmation to my question while taking a few hesitant steps until he was right infront of me. He spread his arms out wide and walked forward hesitantly. I then found myself secured in his warm embrace. I wrapped my arms around his lean frame and squeezed him around the middle. After a minute I pulled back, not wanting to give him the wrong impression.

"OK. I'll see you later Edward."

I turned to leave but a hand on my arm stopped me in my tracks. I turned back around curiously and nearly crashed into Edwards intense face. I could feel his breath on my lips and his eyes smouldering into mine. As I breathed in his seductive scent every thought left my mind. I forgot why we were out in the wilderness. I forgot why we should remain only friends. Hell I even forgot my name as Edward dazzled me into oblivion.

Just when I thought his lips would finally touch mine, he moved slightly to the side and kissed my cheek. His lips lingered on the spot for a while before he pulled back with difficulty and stepped away. I could see he was trying to regulate his frantic breathing just as I was, so I decided now would be the best time to leave.

"See you in a bit."

As soon as the words left my lips, I was sprinting as far East as quickly as I could. I needed to distance myself from him until I could get better control of my emotions. The more I ran the more angry with myself I became. I couldn't believe I was disappointed that he had only kissed my cheek. What was wrong with me!

My feet pounded the wet terrain angrily as I tried to get some reason back into my jumbled mind. Feeling my frustration peeking to a whole new level I moved towards a boulder ready to smash it into tiny pieces. Before my fist could make contact with the stone, a noise reached my rage clouded ears. A heartbeat. 300 yards ahead, a large male Elk stood grazing in some long grass. Growling I took off towards the animal. Half a second later I was stood behind a tree sizing up my prey. I could see his pulse thundering beneath his skin as he registered the imminent danger in the now quiet forest. His head snapped in every direction trying to find the threat. I moved from behind my tree into his line of sight. I crouched low and growled menacingly at my target. Venom pooled behind my teeth as I anticipated the hot blood that would flow down my throat within minutes. Rightly terrified, he took off running as fast as his lean legs could carry him. He wasn't fast enough.

I leapt on his back knocking him down to the forest floor, crushing his spin with the force of my landing. Gurgling screeches and wails tore from its throat as I snarled down at my meal. Mine. Not wanting the animal to suffer any longer than necessary, I quickly snapped its neck. In a millisecond my mouth was attached to the furry skin on the neck of my kill. I tore at the flesh until I felt the satisfying first pulls of blood enter my scorched throat. Purring in delight I greedily sucked the blood from its body. A minute later my mouth came up dry. My kill was empty.

I was still thirsty, desperately so. After quickly burying the carcass I scanned out for another appealing scent. Jackpot! 500 yards to my left three heartbeats came into focus. I recognised that scent. Caribou. Gleefully I took off for my next meal, hoping that after another kill the fire decimating my throat would ease to normal. In the back of my mind as I raced for my prey, I wondered how Edward was doing.

…...

After my second Caribou I finally felt full. Happy I'd had my fill for the day, I rinsed my face and hands in a nearby stream then started back to our planned meeting area. Now a lot more calm than before, I tried to rationalise my earlier behaviour. I knew I loved him, I would never be able to stop. But I knew I should remain his friend and nothing more. I had a momentary lapse in control and I vowed it would never happen again. We were good as friends, today had proved it.

Minutes later I was sat back on the tree stump from earlier wondering where Edward was. Glancing at my mud covered watch, I realised I had been hunting for 2 hours already. Either Edward was a slow hunter or he was extremely picky today. Either way I resigned myself to waiting. After another half hour going by, I started to become worried. What if something bad had happened? Surely it would be impossible to stumble across more nomadic vampires after what happened with Esme and I. It was absurd that time, but if it happened again I would be looking around for flying pigs.

Ten minutes later the horrific scenarios filling my worried mind made my decision for me. I would go and find him. What's the worst that could happen? He could see me and become territorial and threaten me and then I'll leave. Atleast I would know if he was safe. Decided, I ran West following his scent as closely as possible. I had never been a good tracker, but following Edwards scent was surprisingly easy.

Five minutes later I heard growls coming from a few yards up ahead. Panicked, I pushed forward bursting into a small clearing and frantically searching for the danger. The sight that met my frenzied eyes, froze me in my place. Edward stood crouched a few metres from a large male Bison, alert and lethal in attack. I watched hypnotized as he leapt across the space, snarling at the animal before landing directly on its hind legs. Like I do, he quickly snapped the animals neck and dove straight for where seconds ago the pulse thundered through its neck. I watched enthralled as he drank from the animal purring and growling in delight. The sight was beyond sexy.

A small trickle of blood ran down his strong jaw line and down his throat passing his bobbing adams apple and running into the fabric of his mud covered shirt. I wanted to follow that path with my tongue and lap at the intoxicating aroma filling the forest air. I wanted to tear open his shirt and run my hands over the strong muscles I had been watching since I entered this clearing. More than anything I wanted him. Without realising it, I found myself unknowingly walking closer to my prey. My Edward. Mine.

His head snapped up, alarmed by the noise. He stood up and looked curiously at my crouched approach. That's when I took in the full appeal of his appearance. Blood covered his chin and ran down onto his chest. His shirt lay half open missing a few buttons and torn in places while his pants where still caked in the mud I had put there earlier. I had never been more turned on in my life. Snarling I sunk further into my crouch inching forward step by step. His blackened eyes did little for my resolve, nor did the sultry growls emanating from deep within his muscular chest. As soon as I saw his tongue dart out to wet his lips, I lost any remaining control I had over my body. I would get what I want and what I want is him.

Growling, I launched myself across the beast and threw myself at my prey. The force of my impact knocked him flat on his back. I landed on his chest with my legs on either side on his torso. Noticing his arms about to move I snarled and snatched them up and shoved them roughly above his head. Mine. Holding them there with one hand I trailed my other hand down his arm and into his filthy hair. I tugged forcefully at the hair on the back of his neck making him growl and arch his head back. My eyes feasted on the site before me. The blood still staining his chin drew me forward like a moth to a flame. I lowered my head and lapped at his jaw line, purring in pleasure at the intoxicating flavour of Edward. As soon as the blood had gone, my tongue sought out new locations.

My growls had started to lesson as the blood lust evaporated leaving only overpowering lust behind. Now moans and sighs escaped my mouth as I sucked on his neck forcefully. Wanting both hands, I released his thrashing arms and returned my hands back into his unruly hair. Bringing my lips back up his neck I finally reached his panting mouth. Before even thinking about it I leant down and bit his bottom lip. Hard.

In the next instant I found myself on my back with a black eyed growling Edward on top of me. He snatched my hands into his like I had done with him and forced them above my head. Then without a seconds hesitation, his lips found mine. This kiss was like nothing we had ever done before. It was frenzied and passionate, raw and full of lust. His tongue pressed against my lip asking for entrance, in which I quickly accepted. Our tongues duelled together as we panted and moaned, writhing against each other desperately. He released my hands to trail his own down the sides of my body. I once again latched my fingers into his hair and tried to deepen the kiss even more.

Only my aching desire for the man above me filled my mind. Any semblance of reason and control had long since vanished. Or so I thought. The second I felt him grind his obvious erection into my thigh, I snapped back to the present. I whipped my hands out of his hair and pulled my mouth away from his, panting and shaking my head desperately. Thankfully seeing my obvious distress, he quickly backed away from my shaking body.

He sat metres away from me, staring at me in panic as I sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees rocking back and forth. How could I do that! How could I lead him on like that when I knew I was unprepared to offer him more. Friends don't do that! I'm a disgusting excuse for a person. I didn't deserve his friendship. I didn't deserve any of them.

Dry sobbing, I buried my face into my arms, whispering I'm Sorry over and over again. Moments later I felt a hand on my arm and I flinched away from the comforting touch. I didn't deserve to be comforted. I heard a shaky sigh and then felt arms wrap around me and pull me to my feet. Even though I was unworthy, I latched onto his shirt for dear life and let him sooth me as much as possible as the guilt and shame ate away inside of me.

I wasn't sure how long we stood there clutching each other tightly, I only moved when I noticed the sun starting to rise above us.

"I'm so sorry Edward. I know how you feel, what I did was unforgivable. Please forgive me, I didn't mean to lead you on. I can't offer you those things, I I I Just, I'm s s so sorry. You don't hav..."

My desperate ramblings were silenced with a gentle finger pressed to my lips.

"Bella. You know I love you and nothing will ever make me feel any differently. When I left you, I destroyed any trust you had in me and the fact that you forgave me enough to consider me a friend is beyond a miracle to me. You have nothing to apologise for, I knew where you stood on the subject, but please try and understand that I am going to win your trust back Bella, if it's the last thing I do. For now I will more than happily take your friendship, but I am never going to stop wanting more. We belong together Bella. For now I will take what I can get. Just please don't shut me out."

He pulled my chin up gently to make me look into his searching eyes. I could see the love and concern shining through his gaze.

I sniffed pathetically, and smiled up at him weakly. He returned my smile and softly pecked my forehead.

"Lets go home."

He smiled happily at my words and we ran back towards home. I knew from that moment I was already in too deep. I couldn't live without him in my life. I still have issues opening up my heart to him again, but I just hoped I could get over them soon.

As soon as I get back to my room, I will have a shower and rid myself of this caked on dirt, then try and sort out my conflicting feelings. I needed to think. Alone.

Sorry this chapter took a little bit longer to get out there.

Hope I made up for it a tad with abit of action? lol

Longest chapter so far!

Would love some reviews if you're feeling generous...

I love all my regular reviewers, you make me giddy! :)

What will happen next I wonder... ;)

Much Love

xxxx