Gillian Kearney Fan, thank you for your review. I think Cal is quite good at being an idiot! But I don't think he wants to upset her. He really does believe it's impossible to be certain who the father is.
Tato Potato, Cal and Ethan won't spend very much time together in this chapter, but Cal really does want to help him. Thank you for your review - I'm pleased you enjoyed the chapter.
Tanith Panic, it is sad Cal can't believe Ariel. In this story, there is no Matilda (I started writing this before I knew about her), but all the early stuff with Taylor happened (after Cal slept with Ariel) and Cal is wary of trusting any woman. I like compassionate Connie too. Thank you for your review.
ETWentHome, thank you for your review. Cal is having trouble believing anything a woman says at the moment, but I thought he should recognise it as a possibility that he's the father.
"Excuse me? Are you a doctor?"
Cal turned to see a pregnant lady looking out of one of the cubicles he knew had been assigned to Ethan. "Yes, I'm Dr Knight. Is everything okay?"
The woman looked worried. "I don't know. I was being seen by Dr Hardy. He said he was going to get me some medication, but he hasn't come back. I don't want to be impatient – I know doctors are busy – but it's been a while now and I really need to go."
Cal smiled as reassuringly as he could, though inwardly he was berating himself for not insisting that Ethan stayed at home – not that there was much chance Ethan would have listened to him, but Cal should have tried harder. Ethan was in no condition to work and now he was obviously getting a severe dressing-down from Connie. "Dr Hardy has been called away to help with something, but I can sort out your medication for you."
Ethan hadn't left her file, but Cal was able to go through everything with her quite quickly. He sighed the prescription for her, gave her directions to the pharmacy and then decided he'd better check on Ethan's other patients while he was here. They were dealt with quickly and to his surprise, Cal felt almost cheerful as he returned to his own patients. There was the beginnings of a smile on his face as he opened the cubicle curtain and started to apologise for taking so long.
The apology and the smile died on his lips when he saw his patient collapsed on the floor.
"Oh, it really is nothing," said Ethan, embarrassed, as he sniffed hard and wiped his hands across his face. "I'm so sorry, Mrs Beauchamp."
"I'll be the judge of that." Connie went to her desk drawer, took out a box of tissues and put them on the desk beside Ethan. He thanked her shakily and took one. Connie sat back down and looked pointedly at her watch. "I'm still waiting, Dr Hardy."
Ethan took an unsteady breath. "I lied to my girlfriend and now she won't speak to me," he said, painfully aware of how pathetic it sounded.
"Considering how distressed you are, I think it's a lot more than that," said Connie, her voice softer now. "Why don't you tell me from the beginning, Ethan? And just so you know, that's not a suggestion."
Ethan didn't want to tell her the whole story. The secret was really Cal's, not his, and he knew Cal wouldn't want anyone to know about it. But he realised he had no choice and told the story as quickly and clearly as he could. Connie interrupted occasionally to ask questions, but mostly, she let Ethan speak.
"Yes, it does sound like you've got yourself into a bit of a mess," said Connie, when he'd finished. "It's always better to be honest, Ethan. However good your intentions in telling the lie, if the truth comes out later, it never looks good. Even if you hadn't become friends with Ariel, she could easily have found out the truth."
Ethan wiped his eyes and wished he had the nerve to ask Connie what he should do.
"But don't give up on her," said Connie. "I'm sure she hasn't really given up on you. She's had a terrible shock, which was partly your fault, but it sounds like Ariel really needs a friend – and I'm not sure how much of a friend Cal is going to be if he won't accept her word about the babies."
Ethan nodded. He knew it wouldn't be easy being Ariel's friend when his feelings were so strong, but he cared about her and would have to put her needs first.
"Right: so all I need to know now is whether you're fit to go back to work," said Connie. She looked at him appraisingly. "You do look a bit better now, though I recommend washing your face first, but if you're not fully focused, you'd better go home."
"No, I'm fine. I can go back to work," said Ethan quickly. He still felt a bit wobbly, but he knew his patients needed him and he thought he could probably cope. He felt guilty enough for deserting them for this long.
"Excellent," said Connie crisply. She stood up, and Ethan knew he was dismissed, but at that moment came a frenzied knocking at the door and Connie called for them to come in.
Ethan turned away, running his hands quickly over his face and hoped he didn't look too awful.
"What is it, Lofty?" said Connie.
"I'm sorry, Mrs Beauchamp, but one of Cal's patients has collapsed. He's moved him to Resus, but he can't work out what's wrong and his stats are dropping."
"Thank you, Lofty," said Connie. "I'm just coming."
"Is there anything I can do to help?" said Ethan anxiously. He felt none of his usual annoyance on discovering Cal had got himself into another mess. It wasn't surprising Cal was distracted at the moment – and it was all Ethan's fault.
Connie nodded. "Yes – please go and take care of your own patients and don't worry about anyone else's."
It could have been a rebuke. On another day, it probably would have been. Today, Ethan gave her a grateful smile and went to wash his face.
Cal was exhausted. All he wanted was to go home and be alone for a bit, but he couldn't. He'd promised Ariel he'd go and see her after work, to see if there was anything he could do and to arrange what time he would pick her up and take her to the obstetrician's appointment. Cal knew Ariel probably wouldn't need him to stay for long as he'd already seen her once today, but the last thing he needed now was to be strong for Ariel when he was feeling so weak himself.
The patient Cal had moved to Resus had died. Connie had done everything she could, but in the end, she'd had to accept it was over. She'd said it wasn't Cal's fault and most doctors would have missed it, but that didn't reassure Cal. 'Most doctors' wasn't the same as 'all doctors' and Cal couldn't help thinking that if he hadn't been so distracted, he might have been able to spot it.
He'd done his best to focus throughout the rest of the day, not wanting his inattention to lead to any more deaths or suffering, but it was difficult. Much as he wanted to help Ariel, it bothered him that she could be so insistent that the babies were his when she couldn't possibly know.
Of course, if he really had been the only man she'd slept with in that time, then obviously he had to be the father, but if Ariel wasn't the type to have one-night stands, he didn't see why she would make an exception for him.
At one time, it would have made perfect sense as he'd considered himself irresistible enough to break down any woman's insecurities, but he didn't think that now. He might be of above average intelligence, though he was convinced he was well below the average in comparison with other doctors, and he didn't think he was that bad-looking, but he knew he was nothing special. He had none of Ethan's sweetness and although Ethan's jokes were pretty awful, they were still funnier than Cal's. And as for his conversational skills… Cal didn't think he'd be able to look at a barstool ever again without cringing, which was a problem considering he spent so much time in bars.
He went to the staff room to get changed, only to find Ethan there before him. He looked nearly as tired as Cal was feeling. "Hey, Nibbles, you okay?" asked Cal softly.
"Yes," whispered Ethan, without looking at Cal.
Cal knew he was lying and he really wished he could go home with Ethan now. They'd both had a horrible day and it might help them both if they talked about it, but Cal couldn't break his promise to Ariel.
"Are you okay?" said Ethan, blinking hard as he turned to his brother. "I heard about the patient, but I didn't hear what happened."
"The patient was fine," said Cal. He didn't want to give Ethan any more to worry about when he was already so upset and besides, all Cal's other patients had been fine, at least in the sense that they were still alive.
The relieved look on Ethan's face touched Cal almost as much as it made him feel guilty. He told himself that lying about a patient wasn't on the same level as lying about your brother, but he had to admit he wasn't sure about that.
"I'm glad," said Ethan. The corners of his mouth lifted slightly. It wasn't quite a smile, but Cal knew Ethan meant what he said.
He touched Ethan's arm. "I've got to go. I'll see you later, okay?"
Ethan actually looked disappointed. "You're not coming home?"
"Not yet," said Cal. "I've got to do a few things. But I'll be back for dinner. Why don't you order us a takeaway?"
"It's my turn to cook," pointed out Ethan, though he often cooked even when it wasn't his turn.
Cal patted his arm. "It's been a tough day, Nibbles. For both of us. I think we should let someone else do the cooking. I'll see you at home."
"See you later," said Ethan. "I… um… I hope whatever you're doing goes well."
To Cal's surprise, it seemed as though Ethan wanted his company as much as he wanted Ethan's.