Disclaimer: Victorious was owned by me, but I drink a lot.

We're in a booth. Of course. We just had to go somewhere with a booth. Despite there being plenty of room, Cat's snug beside me, the length of her thigh pressed against mine. Not that I mind, it's just... distracting, to say the least. Actually, being so close to her is turning out to be great. Every time she turns to talk to me, we're almost kissing, our faces just inches apart, and I love seeing how awkward it's making Tori feel. It's worth the tension and the teasing to see Tori squirm.

There's something about Tori I just don't like. I don't know... it's like she thinks she's better than everyone, just not as obviously as Trina. I'm not even sure if she realises she thinks that way, God knows she denies it every time I accuse her. Plus there's the way she treats Cat. Cat... Cat loves her. Frankly, I'm more than a little jealous. I know I shouldn't be, but ever since Tori started coming here, I've been envious of how her and Cat just clicked. Back when I looked at Cat like she was some kind of pet, a mascot for me to treat as I saw fit. It was hypocritical really, to be angry at Tori for mistreating Cat, for yelling at her, for speaking to her harshly, after all, she was just following everyone else's lead. It was funny really, I wanted my spineless little Cat to stand up against her, to defend herself, but why would she do that with Tori, someone who actually treated her like she mattered, if she wouldn't do that with me?

Tori's not nearly as good as she thinks she is. Give her enough time, and she could be just like me. Just like I was.

"So what movie did you guys see?" Cat questions Tori and Andre, Andre perusing the menu.

"Dance Hard 2: Break It Down. I invited Beck as well, but he didn't want to come." Tori answers.

I smile sweetly. "I wonder why that is?"

"Was it good?" Chirps Cat.

Andre looks up from the menu. "It was okay. Not as good as the first one. What'd you two see?"

Cat looks at me questioningly and I let a small smile slip through. She's already forgotten the name of it. "Rip Snort." I answer.

Andre grins. "Ooo, I heard there's this scene where this guy gets his eye gouged out with a corkscrew!"

I nod. "Oh yeah."

"Who picked it out?" Tori interrupts, raising an eyebrow at me. I smirk as Cat raises her hand, surprise crossing Tori's face. "R-really?"

"Uh huh." Cat nods.

Tori frowns. "But... I thought you didn't like scary movies."

Cat snuggles into me, smiling slyly and looking up at me. "Oh... it wasn't so scary."

I've had a smile on my face this entire time, and I can tell it's freaking Tori out. I may not like her all that much, but she does amuse me to no end.

Andre sets the menu down. "I'm gonna get the chicken wings." He says, grinning.

That's one thing I like about Andre. He stays out of other people's business... for the most part. Tori's the nosy one, the one who has to know everything.

I excuse myself from the table, telling Cat to just order me whatever she's getting, and head to the bathroom. I like sitting that close to her, I really do, but I need a little room to breathe, need a little space to calm down. Plus, you know, I actually legitimately have to go the the bathroom.

When I open the door to the stall, exiting it, Tori's standing near the sinks, trying to pretend she's actually doing something. I ignore her, going to wash my hands, and she turns to me uncomfortably, crossing and uncrossing her arms.

"Jade... we have to talk." She says uneasily.

"Oh. Do we?" I say nonchalantly, soaping up my hands.

"Cat's my friend Jade."

I smile tightly. "Is she now?"

"I don't like what you're doing."

I rinse my hands off before I turn to Tori. "And why should I care whether you like what I'm doing or not?"

Tori uncrosses her arms again. "Look, you can be as nasty to me as you want-" She ignores my interjected "Good." and continues. "But Cat's too nice to see what you're doing."

I tilt my head, starting to get interested in what Tori's saying. "And what is it that I'm doing?"

Tori looks away. "I don't know exactly what you're doing with Cat, I don't know what your plan is, but it's not fair." Tori bites her lip, as if she's debating whether to tell me this next part. "She really likes you Jade. I don't know why, but she does. When she talks about you... she gets this light in her eyes, like you're her best friend, and all you ever do is put her down."

I feel a muscle under my eye twitch. "Look, I don't care if you believe me or not Vega, but I'm not using Cat. I wouldn't... I would never do that." Now. I say silently in my mind.

Tori looks at me incredulously. "You expect me to believe that?"

I shrug. "I don't expect you to believe anything. But you know what Tori? You're not exactly an angel to her either."

Tori's eyebrows furrow.

"What I have with Cat... it's my own business, but you can't say you've never hurt her. What about the times you yell at her? What about the time you kissed her boyfriend? Is that what friends do?"

Tori looks away.

"I get why you think I'm up to something, but I'm not. I'm the only one who knows what Cat needs, who knows what she really is. I'm the only one that's ever looked, and what she needs isn't a friend like you. She needs someone to protect her, and right now? Right now I'm the only one who's willing to do that. You tell me you're her friend and you never saw it? You never even suspected?"

Tori's face grows pensive. "Saw what? What are you talking about? 'Who she really is?'"

I sigh, ripping off a length of paper towel and drying my hands finally. Maybe I'm a little too hard on Tori. She does seem to care about Cat, but really? How could she not see? It only took me a few days with Cat, of actually spending time with her and listening to her, to figure out that something was wrong, that she wasn't what she seemed. Even before, I knew something was wrong, I just never cared or looked close enough to realise how big it was. But Tori... Tori hangs out with Cat all the time. "Nothing. It's nothing." It's not my secret to tell, and I wouldn't tell it to Tori anyway.

The door to the bathroom opens, a flash of red hair coming into view, Cat peeking in. We both jump, Tori looking guilty. The smile falters on Cat's face. "You guys were taking so long, and the food's here..." She says as way of an explanation.

Tori forces a smile, glancing at me quickly. "Sure. Thanks Cat."

Cat opens the door wider, Tori moving past her until it's just us in the bathroom. She approaches me, curious. "What's going on?"

I smile at her. "Nothing. Tori was just telling me how glad she is we're together."

A smile lights up Cat's face. "Really?" I nod.

I know I said I'd never lie to Cat, but sometimes the truth is better left untold. She already thinks I shouldn't be with her, the last thing she needs is confirmation from her 'best' friend. It's ironic really. Everyone thinks I'm using Cat, except for Cat. She thinks she's using me, that she's somehow tricked me into staying with her. But I've stopped using her, and I think she's starting to realise that she's not using me, that I'm here because I see something in her. And though it might sound pompous of me to say that I'm the only one who knows what Cat needs, that I'm the only one who can give it to her; I'm right. I'm the only one who knows, and actually cares. I'm the only one she's told because she thinks people will reject her, will think she's a horrible person who's completely unlovable, who's damaged goods, and she's right, to a degree. There are people who will think that, there are people who'll blame her for what happened. It's not fair, but then nothing is.

Cat looks around, making sure the bathroom is empty before leaning up and kissing me softly, her hands held up to her chest, brushing against the front of my shirt. "I'm glad too." She murmurs, smiling tenderly, and it makes my heart feel heavy and red inside me. It's this. It's this that people never see. They see the sweetness, they see the kindness, but they don't see this – the tender vulnerability.

I can feel Tori's eyes crawling over us as we eat lunch. I've planted a seed in her mind, and it's about damn time really. She should be looking at Cat, she should be wondering if there's something Cat's hiding, and she should've done it a long time ago. If there's one thing I've heard, albeit never abided by, it's that friends are there for each other, through the good and the bad. And I don't think Tori's even thought that there might be bad.

What she said is plaguing my mind as well. Why does everyone just assume I'm using Cat? I mean, fair enough, I was, but now? It makes me realise what a... monster I was, that everyone would just assume that me being nice, that me being with someone was part of some plot. And it makes me think... if I didn't know what a monster I was then, if I didn't realise how everyone regarded me; as something almost not human... how am I supposed to know now? Our comprehension of who we are comes from other people's opinions about us. I never thought I was a monster, I still don't. I think I've changed, but nobody else seems to. What does that say about me? In Cat's eyes, I'm someone great, in Tori's... I'm a villain. And in my eyes? I'm just someone who's made a lot of mistakes that I'm trying to fix.

I'm trying to change, I really am. But if this is still how everyone sees me... maybe I haven't changed at all. I already know just how much you can hide from yourself, because I hid my whole personality, the things that make me human, in an untouchable place. If we are what people think of us, then I'm a cold-hearted monster, and Cat's a dreamy loser. But what if that's not who I want to be anymore? Do I want everyone to stop fearing me, to stop from flinching every time I glare at them?

No. I don't. I want to be Cat's hero, but everyone else can get fucked. But Cat... does she ever want to be different? Has she ever thought she could be? I know that she thinks she's the loser everyone thinks she is, but does that make her one? Not in my eyes, no. I can see what she really is, the problem is... how do I make her see that?

I look over at her, Cat chattering away to Tori and Andre and picking at her lunch. She's still pressed up tight against me, and I surreptitiously move my hand to her knee. She looks down momentarily, a smile crossing her face, and then she's back to her debate with Andre about what's the best dance movie of all time. But her hand creeps down to mine, and I entwine my fingers with hers, holding her hand.

I have changed. I know that. Because the old me... the old me didn't feel things like this. And Cat? Well, I don't want to change her. I just want to change what she thinks she is.

I let a soft smile cross my face, glancing up. Tori's watching us, moving the food on her plate around with her fork, and I know she saw that. I know she saw Cat's hand move under the table, saw that vulnerable smile. She's looking at me like she's not sure what I am, like everything she knows about me is screaming at her that I shouldn't be this, I shouldn't even be able to do things like this. I think she's realising I have a heart, that maybe this thing with Cat... maybe I'm telling the truth.

It's a start, because maybe if Tori believes it, Cat will too.

A/N: Hurrah for lunch breaks! And a smaller hurrah for being late back to work. But that's the price you pay when you... well, when you really don't care about work!

So, since I might not have a job anymore, it'd be great if you could review. I apologise for Andre's lack of... everything. I'm not used to writing him. And what'd you think of Tori? What do you want to see next? Questions, questions, all of which you should put in your review!

Okay, so I'm just trying to stimulate you into reviewing. It's either this or the jumper cables to the nipples. Or I can do both. Annoy you, and electrocute/arouse you.

It's totally your call. I've got the car battery right here.