I do not own Twilight

Tear me from the inside

[ XXI ]

"I don't understand," Leah muttered as Seth squeezed her hand in his own, all three of them inspecting the scan on the light board.

Dr Peter Gillis nodded in understanding and placed his finger to the darkened shadow on the picture, circling it slowly. "The scan shows us two things," he explained through his heavy British accent. "The darkened area is the tissues affected. Now if you look at the scans taken by your American hospital a month ago, the mass size is identical."

"That doesn't make sense," Seth frowned as he ran his eyes from one scan to the other. "They said it was going to move too quickly, that it was too fast to catch."

"They were right," the doctor announced. "However, at this very moment the cancerous cells are in limbo. They have overrun the tissue of the breast and are now sitting in wait."

"And what are they waiting for exactly?" Leah asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. She felt naked in front of the doctor, as if in seeing the scan, he could see through her clothes and skin.

"They're strategising. Picking out the next best place to make a home. The next easiest target."

Leah bit her lip as she looked up at Seth who was intently listening and taking in all of the information.

He had been there for their mother, in most ways took care of the questions and the forms required by the health insurer when their mother was too tired or hurt too much from the radiation therapy. Between driving their mother to appointments, back and forth from different hospitals, he still made sure everything within the home was taken care of as best as he could. Leah had forgotten that Seth lost someone too. Had forgotten that while she was crying because she didn't have a mother; that Seth was crying because he was now her caretaker.

At twenty he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and the responsibility of a life in his hands.

"Is this good news or bad news?" Seth frowned as he rubbed a hand over his neck. The room felt too small, the air too thick. What he really wanted to do was take up Leah's offer of staying in bed all day. They could talk, whisper, make love. That's what he really needed. He needed her in every sense of the word.

"This," Dr Gillis grinned, "is great news. This means we can start the intermediate treatments within the next month. I'll need you first to be on a course of Abraxane IV and Docetaxel, drugs which will both make sure the cancerous cells do not activate and begin moving again. Once your course is finished we can move onto the next stages."

Leah shivered as she felt Seth's arm reach around her waist and his body heat press into her side. "So no surgery?"

"If we time it exactly right, you will be correct. No surgery."

It took them another hour of the nurses showing them both how to administer the medications and the doses required each day. Leah cringed feeling the clean prick of the needle slide into her arm and felt lucky Seth would be helping her self-medicate.

He kissed her forehead and whispered words of encouragement as he sat and watched the nurses demonstrate the correct technique for the injection. Leah was glad that the only side effects would be nausea and the loss of her period. It felt like it was the first time she could actually breathe since her diagnosis. And of all people, she had Seth by her side.

...

"You okay?" Seth grinned as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her shoulder.

Nodding with a small smile Leah closed her eyes and allowed her weight to rest back against his wide chest. His hands were warm as they softly brushed against her jacket, playing with the hem of her shirt on the inside. The breeze ruffled silently around them as they stood quietly, soaking in the lasting rays of the days sunlight.

"Are you feeling dizzy? Here, maybe we should sit-"

"No." Leah breathed, clutching Seth's forearms so he couldn't move away from her. "I want to stay right here. Just like this."

Opening her eyes Leah watched as the bright orange sun touched the horizon of water. It was truly a magically sight, watching as the huge fiery beast looked as though it was being extinguished by the dark, shimmering water. With the sun slipping away, the chill of the night began to creep toward them, and though comfortable, they knew they would have to head inside soon enough.

"I was thinking," she sighed, tilting her head to look up at him. "I want to meet your mother."

Seth's body stiffened immediately behind her, his arms flexing before automatically slumping in defeat. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea," he frowned as he buried his face in her hair, shaking his head.

"Not a good idea for who?" Leah asked quietly as she turned in his arms. "Seth, you should see her. I'm sure she'd be happy to see her handsome son."

"Flattery is going to get you nowhere," he smiled as he caught the hand she was using to stroke his face. Kissing her palm gently, he moved down to her wrist, kissing the bare skin there before then moving back to her palm. "You smell amazing. We need to go."

"Aren't you hungry?" she asked as they laced hands and began the short walk back to the hotel. "We should stop and get something."

"No," Seth growled a little, "We can order room service. I need you now."

Leah laughed as he pulled her along, stopping every now and then to kiss her and stroke the back pockets of her jeans before painfully squeezing the backs of her thighs.

"Seth," Leah croaked, her lips swollen, her back against the glass of the elevator which was heading up to the room.

"What?" he hummed desperately as he nipped, licked and kissed her neck.

Running her hands through his hair she breathed out. "Slow down. Please."

Immediately Seth pulled away cupping the side of her face. "Are you okay? Sorry, I wasn't thinking, we should-"

Kissing him softly, Leah controlled the kiss so it was slow, sensual and at a rhythm she could keep up with. "I'm fine. And we have all night so there is no rush okay?" Running her hands over his shoulders she smiled. "I'm not going anywhere, Seth."

"Me either," he whispered as he nibbled on her bottom lip before sucking it back into his mouth.

...

The mood felt different. Instead of ripping and shredding their clothing, both took their time to explore.

Seth found a tiny scar behind Leah's knee and pressed his mouth to it. He found a scatter of freckles on her shoulder blade, a beauty spot on the bottom of her back, another scar swapped for another kiss.

Leah found a star shaped burn on Seth's ribs, a bruise on the back of his bicep, a beauty spot at the base of his neck, a scar over his hip and a freckle on the tip of his ear.

Wrapped tightly around him and sinking down against him, Leah touched his shoulders, rubbing and clutching her fingers along his spine.

Letting out a shuddering breath, Seth grasped her hips to stop her from moving. He needed a minute. Just a minute to catch his breath. A minute to collect his thoughts.

"I love you," she whispered into his ear, holding his head towards hers and settling a little lower on her knees.

"Fuck," Seth groaned as she bit down on his earlobe and pressed her bare body tighter against his.

"So very much," Leah added as she rotated her hips and pressed her knees to her outside of his thighs.

Leaning back she allowed him enough space for his mouth to leave marks on her collar bone and his hands to stroke the undersides of her breasts.

She still tasted sweet, of sweat and lilies. Today's revelation that they had found a therapy that just might work was not lost on him. If he wasn't so stunned he would have kissed the doctor. His heart rejoiced and wanted to scream from rooftops while a slither bitterly berated the treatment being six years too late for the woman he'd called his mother.

Holding her tightly, he drowned himself in her. In the feeling of being so close to her, in the feeling of having her, in the feeling of loving her so much more than he ever thought possible.

With nothing but the sound of laboured breathing, they spent the night unafraid.