Once In A

Blue Moon

Part I- Twilight

Last Time on Blue Moon: Bella says good-bye to Charlie. Laurent goes to Denali. Alice, Jasper, and Bella leave for Phoenix.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight saga or its affiliated characters. If I did, well, I wouldn't need to alter it would I?

Chapter Summary: Bella, Alice, and Jasper are in Phoenix. Alice has a vision.

20. Impatience

This had to be the strangest dream I had ever had. First, playing baseball with vampires. Then, running from three – no, two – more vampires who were after me. Now, in my dream, I was just getting into Arizona with Alice and Jasper Cullen. It was the oddest dream I'd ever had. The clearest and most picture perfect. It was like I was really there, in Carlisle's sleek, black Mercedes.

Alice was sitting in the back with me, my head rested on her cold shoulder. Oddly enough, my presence didn't seem to bother her. Of course, it was my dream...in my dream, the vampires I loved so much wouldn't mind me being there.

We had driven through California, I hadn't even remembered leaving Washington, so must have been asleep even in the dream. I could even see images, memories of things that hadn't happened to me, clearly in my mind. Charlie's broken expression – Edward's last, passionate kiss – Emmett's confident smirk – James's calculated stare – Esme's fair well...they were all painful to think about, even though my mind told me it wasn't real.

I watched the road out of the tinted windshield and saw the sun reflected off the tiled rooftops of the Valley of the Sun. I decided at once it had to be a nightmare, because my good dreams would never have me be in Phoenix. Nothing good ever happened in Phoenix. I watched as we glided through the wide, flat land. The palm trees, the scrubby creosote, the haphazard lines of the intersecting freeways, the green swaths of golf courses and turquoise splotches of swimming pools, all submerged in a thin smog and embraced by the short, rocky ridges that weren't really big enough to be called mountains.

It was definitely a nightmare.

I tried to change the dream, I tried to go back to Forks. I could see tree-lined highways, thick forests, all green and moss-covered, alive. Nothing was alive in Phoenix. It was a wasted, dead land filled with wasted, dead people. I wanted to feel rain on my face – which I suspected was possible in this dream because it was like I had surround sound and I could feel everything clearly and as defined as if I were awake. I tried again and again to change the dream, but it wouldn't budge. I never saw the dense, lovely forests, only the dry, desolate flat-lands.

"Which way to the airport, Bella?" Jasper asked from the front seat. He was so clear that I nearly jumped. He sounded different than I had imagined. Different than even Jackson Rathbone had portrayed. His voice was ringing, soft, acute with the barest hint of Southern accent. I looked into the rear view mirror to see his face, his golden eyes looking at me expectantly. He looked kind of like him though, but not really. His blond hair was lighter, his cheek bones more define, his granite skin paler. His hair wasn't nearly as shaggy, either.

There wasn't much harm in answering. Maybe we were leaving. "Stay on the I-ten," I answered. "We'll pass right by it."

I looked up at Alice, a near perfect copy of Ashley Green, though her skin was definitely lighter. It was hard to mimic with make up. "Are we flying somewhere?" I asked, hopeful.

"No, but it's better to be close, just in case."

It wasn't a fair dream, although the Alice and Jasper in my imagination had gotten better. Usually they were just the actors from the movie, sometimes just voices. I hadn't had a dream about Twilight in so long that I was grateful, even if I was in Phoenix.

I felt my head get heavy as we began the loop around Sky Harbor International and my eyes closed involuntarily. Maybe I was waking up...I fought against, wanting more time with Alice and Jasper, hopefully wishing to see Edward. But I lost the fight.

I fell asleep on her shoulder.

When I woke up, I sat against the headboard of the bed. I kept my eyes in my hands and rubbed, trying to shake the dream off. It felt real, too real. If I kept it up, I'd be locked away in an insane asylum built specifically for Twi-hards.

Then, I looked up.

I wasn't in my bedroom. I was in room that reminded me of the suite at the Airport Hyatt. I had had to stay there when...I couldn't remember when I had, but I knew the room. I looked at the digital clock on the nightstand. The red numbers claimed it was three o'clock, but they gave no indication if it was night or day – or even what the date was.

Slowly, my brain began to work again. That hadn't been a dream. I had been stupid to think it was. I ran my fingers through my hair and got out of bed.

I was still wearing Rosalie's clothes and they didn't fit well at all. I looked around the room to see my duffel bag laying beside the bed. I began rummaging through it, pulling out a long-sleeved, thin, cotton, light blue shirt and a short-sleeved, thin, cotton, white shirt. I pulled out a pair of jeans that Edward had thrown in and put them beside the shirts. In one of the zipper compartments, I found my tooth brush and paste.

I dressed quickly, layering my short-sleeved shirt over the long-sleeved one. I slipped on my tennis shoes that were by the foe-wood nightstand and ran a brush through my hair.

I was so busy dressing that I jumped when a light tap came from the door.

"Can I come in?" Alice asked.

I took in a deep breath. "Sure."

She walked in, and looked me over cautiously. "You look like you could sleep longer," she said.

I shook my head. "I can't – won't, whatever."

She nodded and sat on the bed. "We'll need to stay inside," she told me.

"Okay." My voice was hoarse, as if I was close to losing it.

"Are you thirsty?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "How about you?"

She smiled. "Nothing unmanageable." She stood up. "I ordered some food for you, it's in the front room."

"Has Edward called?" I asked, avoiding the topic of food. I wasn't hungry, though water would be necessary if I wanted to keep my voice.

"No," she said, "not yet. But, he will the moment he's able to."

She took my hand and led me through the door into the living room of the suite. I could hear a low buzz of voices coming from the TV. Jasper sat motionlessly at the desk in the corner, his eyes watching the news with no glimmer of interest.

I walked into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, then I returned to the bedroom to put up my things. I re-entered the living room and grabbed the water pitcher from the coffee table. I poured a glass and gulped it down quickly. My throat instantly felt better, but my mind wasn't easy, not yet. I sat down on the couch and stared at the TV.

Occasionally, I would glance at Alice, who was perched on the arm of the couch next to me, and at Jasper. They were still, still as statues, and I instantly felt uneasy. I tried to avoid watching them. I tried to avoid asking questions that would have me worried over Edward...or the rest of our family.

He hadn't called, Carlisle hadn't called, and it could either mean that there wasn't anything to say, or they would be heard by James, or...

I wouldn't allow myself to think of the last 'or'.

I tried to concentrate on happy thoughts. I avoided memories of Edward and I, because it would only make me miss him, and worry about him, more than I already did. My mind had no where to drift though, with all my happy memories cut off. But even as I thought that my only good times were with Edward, I thought about Jacob Black.

Jake and his carefree smile, his infectious chipper mood. I wished silently, that the tracker wouldn't think to find Jacob. He was too young to have to deal with all this chaos.

It was amazing how close I felt to the people I knew in Forks. Even though I rarely hung out with anyone other than Cullens, my human friends were still important to me. They were a big part of my life. I had formed connections with them in a way that I had never established myself in Phoenix. In either set of memories, I wasn't one to get close to them. As Bella, I didn't have friends in Phoenix aside from my mother. As Annabelle, I had people around me, but no one I really trusted or cared about. Only Jeffrey and he had been a big mistake. For some reason, my friendships in Forks felt more real. I knew that Jessica didn't really care for me as much as she acted she did, but I knew that if I needed her, she would be there – if only so she could talk about it later. Angela really was a good friend and so was Mike, so long as he wasn't trying to get me to date him. Eric was always ready to make me laugh.

If I looked at my human friends, though, I knew that Jacob was my best friend. We hadn't spoken much, but I felt closer to him than anyone else. He was the only human I could relate to. The only person who seemed to find just the right way to make me smile. He was young, but smart. Sometimes, it took me a while to realize that he was as young as he was.

I thought about how easily we had become friends. It was like it was just something that was meant for us, easy as breathing.

Just like – Edward.

My thoughts had come full circle. Now, Edward was in my mind. His eyes...his crooked smile...if anything happened to him, I wouldn't survive it. Being apart now was painful and this was only temporary. Hopefully.

They were all out there, doing their best to keep my dad and me safe. Esme, who mothered me more than Renée ever had. Rosalie, who didn't even completely care for me. Carlisle, who I thought of much like I did Charlie, a father. Emmett, who cared about me like a big brother, out there fighting to protect me. All of them were in danger, because of me.

"Bella," Jasper said, suddenly by Alice. "You have nothing to worry about."

I shrugged. "I can't help it, Jasper."

"I know, but try. None of us are in danger, our only fear is losing you."

"I'm really not a priority here." I said, voicing my belief for the first time.

"The hell you're not," he replied fiercely. It was the strongest words I had ever heard from him and I was startled. "You're just as stubborn as Edward is," he added, his voice lost some of its force, but gained some frustration.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

Alice sighed. "Will you stop apologizing for everything?" she said. "This isn't anyone's fault and you aren't to blame for any of it." She stood and walked around the coffee table. Then she turned to look at me. "Edward loves you, but he isn't the only one. We all do, you're one of us. And it isn't just for how you've made Edward happy and completed his life, its because you're our sister. You would do this for us, we do it for you. Its what family is about."

I looked away, hiding the gentle tears that escaped. "I know that. I'm just panicking. I don't want to lose any of you, especially because of something as stupid as stopping the inevitable." I stood and walked into the bedroom, shutting the door behind me. Thankfully, no one followed me.

It was a very long day.

I remained in the bedroom, reading the books I hadn't known Edward had packed in my too full duffel bag. It helped me keep my mind off of what was going on in the real world. Around noon, food was delivered again, and I left the confines of the bedroom for to eat. Neither of them asked about my disappearance nor did they seem upset at me for storming off so childishly. After I picked at the food for a while, I retrieved my book from the bedroom and read in the living room with them. Once in while, I would look at the silver phone that rested on Alice's leather bag, as if trying to force it to ring.

It never did.

I didn't know what I was waiting for. Good news or bad, Alice was sure to see it before the phone rang. But I still waited for it. For something. I didn't get the feeling that anything good would come from the phone. It just seemed evil...laying there, taunting me with its silence. I decided to continue reading before I began to plot destroying an inanimate object.

As the afternoon wore on, I went back to the bedroom, feeling an overwhelming desire to lay down. Alice followed me in, as if she needed to lay down as well. I knew that wasn't true, so I laid across the bed. She joined me, sitting with her legs folded. I looked at her as she watched me, a worried expression on her delicate-looking features. I sat up and waited for her to ask what she wanted to, but after a few moments of silence, I decided to speak.

"What is it?" I asked her, my voice was small.

She furrowed her brow. "You said, earlier, that you didn't want any of us to get hurt 'because of something as stupid as stopping the inevitable'," she quoted. "What did you mean?" Her voice was just as worried as her eyes.

I took in a deep breath, not sure if this was a conversation I wanted to have, but I couldn't avoid it, not with her worried eyes watching me like that. It was too painful for both of us.

"I meant that I'm going to die anyway," I started, knowing that if Edward read this in her mind, it would hurt him. I couldn't bear the thought, but I had to answer her. "I'm dying every second. I get closer everyday. With my luck, I know I won't make it to old age. This is just a part of that. If it wasn't James, it would be something else. Someone else. Edward doesn't want to change me and I can't force him to do it, but I don't want him, or anyone else, to die trying to keep me alive. Its pointless."

She looked at me now with a very serious glint in her eyes. "You will be one of us. I've seen it. Why do you think Edward was so angry at me in the Jeep?"

I shook my head. "You saw that before the changes started, it won't happen now."

"No," she contradicted. "I didn't see it before. I had a vision of it only Sunday. Just before Edward and you arrived at the house. You weren't meant to be one of us before you could handle it. Now, you can."

I was still confused. I was sure that she had seen it. "If its only possible now, then I am definitely not going to be changed. Edward is more adamant than ever to keep me human." I insisted.

"He is now, but don't give up. I won't give up on insisting that he change you, either. I want you to be like us, if that's what you want."

"It is."

We looked at each other with a perfect understanding and knew that we were both determined to achieve the same end. Edward couldn't refuse us forever. I hope.

Suddenly, Alice leaped from the bed, landing lightly on her feet. My head jerked up as I stared at her, startled.

"Something's changed." Her voice was urgent, and she wasn't talking to me anymore.

She reached the door the same time Jasper did. He had obviously heard our conversation and her sudden exclamation. He put his hands on her shoulders and guided her back to the bed, sitting her on the edge.

"What do you see?" he asked intently, staring into her eyes. Her eyes were focused on something very far away. I sat close to her, leaning in to catch her low, quick voice.

"I see a room. It's long, and there are mirrors everywhere. The floor is wooden. He's in the room, and he's waiting. There's gold...a gold stripe across the mirrors."

"Where is the room?"

"I don't know. Something is missing – another decision hasn't been made yet." A chill went down my spine and I shivered involuntarily. I was forgetting something again.

"How much time?"

"It's soon. He'll be in the mirror room today, or maybe tomorrow. It all depends. He's waiting for something. And he's in the dark now."

Jasper's voice was calm, methodical, as he questioned her in a practiced way. "What is he doing?"

"He's watching TV...no, he's running a VCR, in the dark, in another place."

"Can you see where he is?"

"No, it's too dark."

"And the mirror room, what else is there?"

"Just the mirrors, and the gold. It's a band, around the room. And there's a black table with a big stereo, and a TV. He's touching the VCR there, but doesn't watch the way he does in the dark room. This is the room where he waits." Her eyes drifted, then focused on Jasper's face.

"There's nothing else?"

She shook her head. They looked at each other, motionless.

We sat there only for a few seconds before the phone rang.

Alice was across the room before I could lift my head to look at it.

She pushed a button and held the phone to her ear, but she didn't speak first.

"Carlisle," she breathed. She didn't seem surprised or relieved, the way I felt.

"Yes," she said, glancing at me. She listened for a long moment.

"I just saw him." She described the vision she'd seen. "Whatever made him get on that plane...it was leading him to those rooms." She paused. "Yes," Alice said into the phone, and then she spoke to me. "Bella?"

She held the phone to me and I ran to it.

"Hello?" I breathed.

"Bella," Edward said.

"Edward. I've been worried sick. Are you okay?"

"Bella," he sighed in frustration. "I told you not to worry about anything but yourself." It felt amazing just to hear his voice, it felt like a tiny hole in my chest I hadn't known was there was filling in a little.

"Where are you?"

"We're outside of Vancouver. Bella, I'm sorry – we lost him. He seems suspicious of us – he's careful to stay away just far enough away that I can't hear what he's thinking. But he's gone now – it looks like he got on a plane. We think he's heading back to Forks to start over." I could hear Alice filling in Jasper behind me, her quick words blurring together. Something told me that he wasn't going to Forks.

"I know. Alice saw that he got away."

"You don't have to worry, though. He won't find anything to lead him to you. You just have to stay there and wait until we find him again."

"I'm not worried about me, Edward. Is Esme with Charlie?"

"Yes – the female has been in town. She went to the house, but while Charlie was at work. She hasn't gone near him so don't be afraid. He's safe with Esme and Rosalie watching."

I took in a deep breath, trying not to worry about my father.

"I miss you," I whispered.

"I know, Bella. Believe me, I know. It's like you've taken half my self away with you."

"You could always come and get it," I stated, my tone no where close to playful as I wished silently that he would.

"Soon, as soon as I possibly can," he promised. "I will make you safe first." His voice was hard.

"I love you," I reminded him.

"Could you believe that, despite everything I've put you through, I love you, too?"

I sighed. "You haven't put me through anything, Edward. And yes, I can believe it."

He ignored the first half of my statement. "I'll come for you soon."

"I'll be waiting."

As soon as the phone was dead, that tiny hole that had once been invisible before emptied again and I felt very alone. It didn't leave my notice this time.

I turned to give the phone back to Alice and found her and Jasper bent over the table, where Alice was sketching on a piece of hotel stationery. I leaned on the back of the couch, looking over her shoulder.

She drew a room: long, rectangular, with a thinner, square section at the back. The wooden planks that made up the floor stretched lengthwise across the room. Down the walls were thin lines denoting the breaks in the mirrors. And then, wrapping around the walls, waist high, a long band. The band Alice said was gold.

A memory from the past I'd never had entered my mind and realization struck. "It's a ballet studio," I said.

They looked at me, surprised.

"Do you know this room?" Jasper's voice sounded calm, but there was an undercurrent of something I couldn't identify. Alice bent her head to her work, her hand flying across the page now, the shape of an emergency exit taking shape against the back wall, the stereo and TV on a low table by the front right corner.

"It looks like a place I used to go for dance lessons – when I was eight or nine. It was shaped just the same." I touched the page where the square section jutted out, narrowing in the back part of the room. "That's where the bathrooms were – the doors were through the other dance floor. But the stereo was here" – I pointed to the left corner – "it was older, and there wasn't a TV. There was a window in the waiting room – you would see the room from this perspective if you looked through it."

Alice and Jasper were staring at me.

"Are you sure it's the same room?" Jasper asked, still calm.

"No, not really – I'm sure most dance studios would look the same – the mirrors, the bar." I traced my finger along the ballet bar set against the mirrors. "It's just the shape that looked familiar." I touched the door, set in exactly the same place as the one I remembered.

"Was it in Phoenix?" Alice asked. I nodded knowing she was asking which memory this was from. "Would you have any reason to go there now?"

"No, I haven't been there in almost ten years. I was a terrible dancer." I admitted to her calmly, inside though, I didn't feel calm.

"So there's no way it could be connected with you?" Alice asked.

I shook my head, not quite sure I was being honest, something told me that I would end up there.

"Where was the studio you went to?" Jasper asked in a casual voice.

"It was just around the corner from Mom's house. I walked there after school...," I needed to call Renée. If this was the same ballet studio...if Mom came home early... "Fifty-eighth Street and Cactus."

We all sat in silence. I needed to call...I had to...

"Alice, I need to call Renée."

"I thought she was in Florida."

"She is – but she's coming home soon, and she can't come back to that house while..." I knew, somehow, that Victoria had to have found out about where I used to live. James would be here. I knew it.

"How will you reach her?"

"They don't have a permanent number except at the house – she's supposed to check her messages regularly."

"Jasper?" Alice asked.

He thought about it. "I don't think there's any way it could hurt – be sure you don't say where you are, of course."
I reached for the phone and dialed the number without even thinking about it. I had never dialed it before. It rang four times, and then I heard my mom's breezy voice telling me to leave a message. It was the right number.

"Mom," I said after the beep, "it's me. Listen, I need you to do something. It's important. As soon as you get this message, call me at this number." Alice had already written the number down for me at the bottom of her drawing. I read it through carefully twice. "Please don't go anywhere until you talk to me. Don't worry, I'm okay, but I have to talk to you right away, no matter how late you get this call, all right? I love you, Mom. Bye." I closed my eyes and prayed with all my might that no unforeseen change of plans would bring her home before she got my message.

I couldn't bring myself to read anymore. I needed to be in the present, in the real world, no matter how scary it had turned out to be.

Immortality must grant endless patience. Neither Jasper nor Alice seemed to feel the need to do anything at all. For a while, Alice sketched the vague outline of the dark room from her vision, as much as she could see in the light from the TV. But when she was done, she simply sat, looking at the blank walls with her timeless eyes. Jasper, too, seemed to have no urge to pace, or peek through the curtains.

I must have fallen asleep on the couch, waiting for the phone to ring again. The touch of Alice's cold hands woke me briefly as she carried me to the bed, but I was unconscious again before my head hit the pillow.

This time, in my dream, I was with Edward.

I was in Forks.

We sat on the couch at my house.

Charlie watched the game on the flat-screen.

Attention: This is my second post tonight. Am I on a roll or what? 5 more chapters to go! Tell me what you think. I tried extra, super hard to keep this chapter as different from the original as possible!

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Next time on Blue Moon: Edward heads to Phoenix. James calls Bella. Bella writes Edward a letter.

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