"Be Still" by The Fray.
Or any sad song in general.
-Chapter 20-
- 癒す -
-Iyasu-
[?]
Beep…
Voices.
Beep…
People were speaking.
Beep-
Hiss…
He couldn't really understand.
Beep…
"-No!" Desperate refusal.
Beep…
"Ma'am-" Calm. Collected. Impersonal.
Beep-
Hiss…
A heave. The rustle of clothing.
Beep…
"No-" A hiccup and a shuddering gasp, "N-"
Beep…
He struggled to hear her, "I alm-st lost one- not goin-…ose the other!" Shaky. Tight. Painful.
Beep-
Hiss…
Someone was crying.
Beep…
Aunt Cass.
[?]
Beep…
Silence.
Beep…
Then the shuffle of clothing.
Beep-
Hiss…
The creak of a chair.
Beep…
Pressure beside him.
Beep…
More shuffling. More pressurized areas.
Beep-
Hiss…
Arms wrapped around him.
Beep…
They pulled him close against a soft wall of warmth.
Beep…
Safety. Familiarity. Solid comfort. He didn't know who it was for.
Beep-
Hiss…
"Sshh," a shuddering voice. Male. "Sshh, I've got you."
Beep…
Wind in his hair.
Beep…
"You're not going anywhere, Otouto."
Darkness took him again.
[?]
Beep…
Nothing.
Beep.
Nothing but two, foreign presences.
Beep-
Hiss…
A male. And a female.
Beep..
The scent of fresh cherry blossoms.
-Beep…
And ocean salt.
Beep-
Hiss...
It was too hot.
Beep…beep..beepbeep
He tried to reach for them. The pain was too much and it was growing. He was too tired to fight it.
Help… please…it hurts!
Beepbeepbeepbeep
Something pricked his arm. The figures never moved.
Beepbeepbeepbeepbeep.
Mom…
His fingers grasped soft fabric in desperate fistfuls.
Dad…
He gasped. Threw his back into the air. Went limp.
Beepbeepbeepbee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
"-e's-… cardi-c arr-st!"
Please!
There was something against his mouth.
Please!
A breeze across his bare, unmoving chest.
Please!
"-lear!"
He jerked against the mattress.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
IT HURTS!
Then warmth grabbed his hand.
Tawny eyes flickered before him- just for a moment.
He could see tears and panic and desperation-
Tadashi.
-Beep.
[?]
Shuffling.
Whispers.
"How is he?"
Silence.
Deliberation.
A burn across his face.
"Still fighting."
Shifting.
Movement.
"Do you think he'll win?"
Wind.
Silence.
"I don't know…"
[?]
"They're saying you're doing better."
A voice. Quiet, respectful of the one sleeping.
"But just in case we should still be ready for anything."
Fingers combing through his hair.
Silence.
Then a sigh.
The squelch of leather beneath the speaker's weight.
"Man, if you could see the amount of stuff they have you hooked up to…"
No response.
A brief flicker of pain across his abdomen.
A hand grasped his and squeezed gently.
Needles shifted underneath his skin.
"It makes you look like a robot."
Silence.
Sweat rolling down his temple.
Air pushing forcefully into his lungs.
Fingers combing through his hair.
A throat being cleared.
A palm against his too-warm-head.
"I need you to get better, bonehead."
Then darkness again.
[?]
Sloshing of water.
Hushed voices.
The flap of fabric.
"-ever…-roke?"
The snap of a wet cloth.
Cool moisture dribbling over his skin.
"Mm'hmm."
[?]
"Alright, buddy!" something plopped into a chair beside him, "Robert Callaghan is on trial for kidnapping and attempted murder, Abigail is recovering from a coma, and your name is all over the place. I think it's about time you woke up!" Eager. Hopeful.
Nothing.
Silence.
…
A sigh.
"Fine." Resignation. Absent minded fingers in his hair, "The doctors took you off those crazy sleeping meds earlier this morning but if you want to keep napping…" Unended. Patient. Hurting.
The fingers paused.
Then they continued.
"Aunt Cass and I will still be here when you decide to wake up." Choked despair.
[?]
There was a melody.
Warmth around his wrist.
Gentle strokes tickling the flesh above his veins.
They moved with the rhythm of a familiar hymn.
The song his Aunt used to sing to him when he'd slept in too much.
No.
He didn't want to wake up yet.
Sh.
But the sound kept going.
He fell asleep anyway.
…
[?]
[Hiro]
It was quiet when he first started breaching the surface of lucidity.
Quiet, but not silent.
He could hear the faint sounds of machines at work; various buzzes, hissing, and a rhythmic beep that seemed only to keep him sedated even longer. A thrum and pitter patter against a nearby window signaled heavy rainfall. Distantly there was the clop of feet passing back and forth over linoleum- though they were few and far between. Sometimes he'd hear a very faint ding or the quiet sound of people talking too.
Perhaps the most striking sound, however, was the one whooshing in and out beside his arm. His interest in the noise was only piqued by the fleshy warmth wrapped loosely around his hand, fingers around his latched on even as their owner slept obliviously.
Tired but not entirely willing to go back to sleep, Hiro shifted. Moving felt weird and sent little tingles up and down his body but it wasn't necessarily painful yet. Certain parts of him just felt a little heavy, bound tightly, and numb. He swallowed and something moved against his throat, leading him to realize that it was wrapped up. Confusion tightened across his brow and he swallowed again experimentally. What was that? He crinkled his nose and very nearly sneezed when he felt movement inside his nostrils. Then he realized air was rushing through the facial feature. Wait a minute.
His fingers twitched and something across the back of his left hand tingled uncomfortably, like there was something flat and sticky draped across it. At the very center he found the most discomfort. These sensations were echoed in the crook of his right arm.
Taking a deep breath, he turned his head. Only to stutter through a choking cough that rippled across his aching chest and pooled into a buzzing pain at his belly. His face contorted, small, rubbery, circular objects bouncing across his torso as he temporarily fought for control and tried to ignore the irritated backdrop of beeping.
Gaaaahhhhhh, it hurt!
When the brief battle was over and he was left just a little bit winded with faint painful echoes throbbing through him, he finally decided it was time to open his eyes and figure out what was causing all these sensations.
The first thing he saw was the tiled ceiling above him. It was only dimly illuminated by an orange light that came from his right and he turned to see it. At his bedside was a paper lantern- specifically the electric one from Tadashi's side of the room. Confused, he furrowed his brow a little before he caught sight of a blue book with red trimmings beside it.
Coma: A Healing Journey by Amy Mindell, it was called. Several other books were there as well, all of them detailing the brain or some kind of medical study he didn't fully understand in his half-awake state. His eyes caught sight of a vibrant array of flowers, a black phone sitting peacefully in its cradle, and his big brother's cell. It was plugged into one of the many outlets just above the nightstand.
Then his vision trailed down the length of his right arm, roaming over the white swath of bandages wrapped around cheese-grated forearm. He found an IV stationed at the crook his arm just beyond the gauze, feeding blood into him and held in place with medical tape.
A soft sigh caught his attention and his eyes flickered down farther. His breath got stuck in his burning throat when he saw who was there.
With his face half buried into Hiro's hand- which he had clutched in his own- and half into the sheets, Tadashi Hamada slept hunched over the bed. Blinking groggily, starting to feel like this was as awake as he was going to get, he let an amused smile perk his lips and quirk an eyebrow.
Judging by the ruffled looking hair, unshaven face, and light shade of bruises underneath his eyes exacerbated by the dim gloom, his brother had been with him for a while now. Hiro wished he had his phone- he'd love to get a photograph of this and caption it with "what beauty, what grace."* But then Tadashi shifted and tightened his grip on his baby brother's hand. His smile fell a little when he caught sight of his sibling's school bag discarded on the white couch behind him with various papers and text books piled neatly alongside it.
Good, he thought with approval, he didn't miss school for me. As Tadashi slept on Hiro continued to eye his hospital room. It was smaller than the last one but he found he didn't mind terribly much. It made things cozier.
Above and behind the couch was a large window that showed off the close, shadowed skyscrapers of San Fransokyo, indicating that he was on one of the uppermost floors. The walls were a bland white and his sheets a soft sky blue with checkered shades of the same color forming a pattern across it. The mattress underneath him was surprisingly soft and the sheets were more comfortable than he'd imagined. At the bottom of the bed he found a familiar white and gray-striped blanket. He knew just by looking at it that it wasn't one of the hospital's and when he looked over he found his own blue striped bed sheet folded on the farthest end of the couch.
Now he wondered how many nights Tadashi had spent here with him.
A half-sigh made its way past his lips before he found the plasma TV set on the wall in front of him. That put a little smile on his face with the promise of not being terribly bored out his mind during his no-doubt lengthy stay. Looking to the left he saw the door and a clock as well as few wooden shelves built into the corner farthest from him. He also caught sight of the EKG machine, IV bags, and various other monitors beside him. For a little while he watched his vitals, aware that his blood pressure wasn't where it was supposed to be, his oxygen intake was functioning the way it was only because of the nasal cannula, and his temperature was a few degrees too high to be healthy. His stomach twisted a bit at the sight of the second IV plugged into the back of his left hand and feeding a transparent liquid into his veins. He lifted the appendage up and narrowed his eyes on the hospital bracelet, wanting to know where he was. But it was too dark and his vision too uncooperative for him to make it out properly.
Hiro followed other wires and cables, connecting to various parts of his body and felt his heartrate pick up a little at the sight. So, he might not be in intensive care but he still wasn't in perfect condition. At least he didn't have an oxygen mask or anything, his throat felt dry enough as is. Gingerly turning his head back to Tadashi he set about to absorbing every detail of his face.
The high cheekbones, the short stubble, mussy black hair, and peace that evened out all his concentrated wrinkles. He watched his brother sleep tranquilly and wondered if he wanted to do the same yet.
But with every assisted breath he took the tickle of electrodes on his chest reminded him just how much of that he'd probably been doing already. Every time he swallowed and the bandages around his throat moved he was forced to address how much damage his wounds had probably caused him and those around him.
He couldn't remember a whole lot and what he did remember was short and confusing. There had been something round pressed against his stomach as Callaghan stood over him and Tadashi had been shouting. Then there was a loud bang and he'd fallen. That's where things got a bit too fuzzy for him to make any sense of but, from what he could gather, he'd most likely been shot.
Lightly chewing on the inside of his cheek he carefully lifted his left hand and tried to slip it underneath the sheets. It was a little tricky to do with the tubes but he managed. Once his fingers fell over his belly he knew for certain that his assumption had been correct.
Here he found the most padding, wrapped in gauze and muting his ability to feel as sharply as usual. Of all places to get shot, why did it have to be there? The pain had been even worse than cracking a rib!
Now working his lip between his teeth he took a shuddering breath. Much of what he did remember orbited around a pain so terrible it fell into its very own category. It had been so bad all he'd wanted to do was die.
Reflexively tightening his right hand he closed his eyes firmly. He could still feel that mind-crushing fire in his memory, flickering over the healing wound on his stomach.
"Mmm," The sound of Tadashi's voice made him immediately release his grip. Hiro's eyes flickered open as his big brother shifted and sucked in a deep, whispering, husky breath. He lifted himself off the bed with a series of cracks erupting out of his back, yawning largely and pulling his shoulders around in a restrained stretch. Watching his brother run his free hand across his face and mutter a slight curse at the discovery of stubble, Hiro withheld a sleepy smile. Tadashi dug his palm into his eyes in turn and squeezed his little brother's hand gently. "Sorry," he whispered and Hiro knew he wasn't expecting a reply, "Shouldn't have sworn like that."
"Even after all these years I still don't understand why you apologize for cursing," he told him, smirking, despite the familiar croak his voice was met with, when his big brother froze , "I mean, can you even imagine the sort of stuff I heard as a bot fighter?"
Both of Tadashi's eyes were open now and latched onto Hiro's like he could physically hold him in place with them. He seemed unable to speak, mouth agape and the barest of smiles daring to rip across his face.
"Mornin'," Hiro greeted raspily, grinning.
Half a second later he had been scooped up, nest of wires and all, into his big brother's arms. He sucked in a breath half of surprise and half of pain, cringing and biting his lip as he was jostled.
"W-woah," he squeaked, grunting as his wounds were exacerbated and squirming as his bigger sibling threw himself into the bed to snuggle up with him.
"Hiro," Tadashi gasped and he froze at the soft sound of his voice, "Hiro, Hiro, Hiro."
His expression turned into one of amusement and fondness then as his brother settled awkwardly beside him.
"Yes?" he replied slyly, "Yes? Yes? Yes?" His attempt to goad Tadashi both failed and succeeded when the older grabbed his ear and gave it a firm yank. "Ow!-OWowowowowow!"
"Don't you dare do anything like that everagain!" he was startled by the anger in his brother's voice. "You understand me, Hiro?! Never again!" *
Confusion swirled around in him and he swam through his memories in search of something he could have been held responsible for. What had he done wrong? The list he ended up with didn't really help much;
Option a) blowing up a laboratory.
Option b) jumping into a dangerous, untested science experiment.
Option c) …driving his favorite professor crazy? But was that really his fault?
A soft, frustrated grumble burbled inside his throat and he looked past the tangle of sheets, arms, and cords to the monitors on his right. What kind of drugs did they have him on right now?
Tadashi buried his face into the crook of Hiro's shoulder and he flinched with surprise. Despite himself, in the dim lighting, unfamiliar room, doped up and confused he found himself feeling the first traces of fear. Could it be that he was hallucinating and this wasn't his brother at all? Was he dreaming?
"T-T," he bit his lip and swallowed, "Hey, Tadashi- what's, um, what's wrong?"
Then his brother seemed to realize what he was doing. Lifting his head suddenly, he observed his little sibling, noticing the fear in his voice and posture, before wriggling out from under him and sheepishly plopping back into his chair at Hiro's bedside.
"Sorry," he said, a flush of embarrassment crossing over his face, "I guess I've picked up a big-brother complex…"
A little more relaxed now that he had his space back the younger managed a somewhat shaky smile; that sounded more like the Tadashi he knew.
"Like you didn't have one before, knucklehead," he said. Hiro was pleased to see a small smile cross onto his older brother's face at that one.
"Hey, only I'm allowed to call you that," Tadashi retorted.
"Says what rule?" the teen demanded, cocking his head a little only to wince and hiss a bit at the sting of pain his movement was met with. He tried to play it off with a grin but it was obvious to him that Tadashi had noticed it.
With a frown the older leaned forward and slipped a hand over his brow, concern etched into his face as he examined the bandages.
"How do you feel?" he asked softly, "What hurts?"
But Hiro shrugged him away, exasperated when the older turned his attention to the monitors instead, "I'm alright, Tadashi." He took in the look of analysis on his elder's face, aware of the possibility that his words had not reached him. His big brother was lost in a world of numbers and medical magic and there wasn't a whole lot Hiro could say to get him back.
So he opted for something more physical and threw his pillow into Tadashi's face with much less force than he'd of wanted.
"He-" the older sputtered with surprise, grabbing the half fluffy, half flat pillow, "Hiro!"
"Would you relax?" his little brother demanded, somewhat out of breath already, "You're stressing me out."
It looked for a moment like Tadashi just might argue but a second later his shoulders slumped and he fell back in his chair, head draped over the backrest and hands washing down his face.
"I'm sorry," he groaned, "these past few days have just been very long."
"You're telling me," Hiro agreed with a slight wheeze, slumping back and gently lowering his head to the mattress. His stomach was starting to hurt, "Hey, what time is it?"
A yawn erupted from his brother as he turned to his phone, pressing a button on the side before answering his sibling's question, "Almost 3 AM." He shifted and stretched with a light hum, "you should get some sleep, Bonehead, you need it."
"Hmm," Hiro hummed his disproval, refusing to let his eyes drop any more than they already had, "Not yet."
"Hiro-"
"No, I wanna know what's been happening. How long have I been out for?" He forced away the blurry film that was starting to cover his eyes, rubbing a hand into his eyes and ignoring the pinch of his IV.
For several moments Tadashi simply watched him, chewing on his decision thoughtfully. Finally he emitted a long sigh of defeat before leaning forward, rubbing the back his head and closing his eyes.
"Fine, fine," he murmured, "You've been in the hospital for about a week now, does that answer your question?"
"Yeah, but only the first one," Hiro huffed, coughing a little at the stress the move put on his recovering lungs, "Are the others okay? What about Aunt Cass?"
Tadashi settled in and fought off a yawn before he replied, "Everyone is fine but you, Hiro. And Aunt Cass had to go back to the café but she'll be back for lunch today."
"What about the lab? And Ferdinand and his goons? Where did that girl go? What hospital is this?"
"Woah, woah, easy there, Tiger, one question at a time," his older brother held his hands up in defense, waiting for the younger to settle before answering him, "okay, in order; 1) If by "the lab" you mean the place where you were being held it's gone. 2) What? 3) Do you mean Abigail? She's at the San Fransokyo Overlake Emergency Center recovering from cyro-sleep. 4) You're at the San Fransokyo Intensive Emergency Hospital downtown. They," here his brother paused and looked a bit uneasy, "couldn't treat you anywhere else so they flew you here from Watanuki Island." He gave his brother a moment to let the details sink in before he asked his own question, "Hiro, who's Ferdinand?" Tadashi didn't really like the way his little brother tensed up but he wasn't about to rescind his query.
He had to know from him- not the police, not Callaghan, and not medicated, totally-out-of-it baby brother from before.
But his sibling struggled to answer and looked away, shifting uneasily until Tadashi determined that he needed a bit of push.
With a soft, sympathetic sigh, he leaned forward and forced Hiro to meet his eyes, "does he have something to do with those scars under your arm?" Fear flashed through the younger and he tensed.
Of course, he tried to play it off and produced a shaky smile, "W-what do you mean, Tadashi?"
"You know what," his brother said, holding his gaze steady.
Hiro's eyes were wide and his face a little paler but Tadashi never looked away. As his baby brother swallowed thickly, eyes flickering towards the door as though seeking escape, he found his answer. Gently and so smoothly he wouldn't have left any wakes even if he'd been up to his shoulders in water, the oldest Hamada child embraced the youngest. It hurt him when Hiro tensed up and stirred a stew of emotions, most predominantly anger, in his gut but even so Tadashi didn't move away. Sat a little awkwardly on the mattress with one hand on his brother's back and the other running through his hair he waited for him to relax.
After what felt like forever his shattered baby Otouto leaned into his touch, gathering hesitant fistfuls of his shirt in hands that threatened to shake. He could feel Hiro swallow nervously before he spoke, so softly Tadashi almost didn't hear him, "I'm sorry." There was the softest of sniffs, "I'm sorry, Tadashi."
Rubbing soft circles into his back the older sibling closed his eyes and whispered, "What for, Bonehead?"
Hiro wasn't an emotional kid. He was a robitsist and a science enthusiast, not an artists or writer. He didn't know how to interperate his feelings half the time, let alone properly express emotion. So it didn't really surprise him when his little brother shook his head and said, "I don't know but I'm sorry- so, so sorry."
Lucky for him his big brother was a good translator.
The smallest of smiles touched his lips and he lowered his head, blowing a warm gust of air across the back of his brother's neck. An immediate shudder rolled across his shoulders and Hiro jerked back, slapping a hand over the area and causing the IV in his hand to twist about.
He wasn't crying but if his eyes looked just a little bit red in the dim lamp light Tadashi didn't say anything about it.
"If anyone ever tries to hurt you, you know you can come to me, right?" he asked him sincerely. Hiro nodded and tore his gaze away, unable to bear whatever judgment might be in his elder brother's eyes. "That also means that if anyone has hurt you, you can still come to me, doesn't it?" That seemed to catch his brother off guard a little and he turned to him, looking up at Tadashi from underneath a fringe of black. "Doesn't it?" he asked when Hiro didn't reply.
"I-I guess?"
"I won't judge you and I won't ask any questions if you're not ready to answer them. Just," he had to pause and take a deep breath before continuing, "just know that you don't have to be upset alone. Aunt Cass and I are here- and so is Gogo, Wasabi, Fred, and Honey Lemon-"
Hiro snorted disbelievingly at that, hesitant hope glimmering in his eyes, "those are your friends, baka."
A quick grin slipped onto his face and he chuckled quietly, "That's not what I saw. You should have seen the way those guys fought to get you back. They were right there with me as I looked for you, every step of the way. If they didn't care about you they never would have come along." His little brother blinked and let a small smile touch his lips, swallowing as he rubbed his hand against his eyes. "You're not alone anymore, ok?" Without looking at his older brother's face Hiro nodded his affirmation and let his head drop against Tadashi's collar bone.
The older brother knew without looking that he was loosing his little brother to the throes of restful sleep and so he started combing his fingers through the black tangles, rubbing the digits against the back of Hiro's head in a gentle massage. The warmth was comforting underneath his hands and he began to rock back and forth, humming as he went.
In his drowsiness, his tongue slipped, "Nii-san?"
Tadashi quickly recovered from his surprise, happiness swelling inside him at the way he'd been addressed, "What's up?"
"What happened to Callaghan."
Boom.
There goes happiness.
Ducking his head against Hiro's he heaved a heavy sigh, heart twisting in the pain of betrayal. He hadn't known Ferdinand very well, having only heard about him briefly in passing stories and he'd only ever met him a few times. From what he knew, though, that old tram driver had meant as much to Hiro as Callaghan had to him.
He tightened his hold on the younger, "Don't worry about that right now, Otouto. I won't let him get you."
It was a testament to just how far the younger was when he nodded his head against Tadashi's chest, "kay, tell later."
He grimaced a bit, knowing he would have to tell his brother of Callaghan's imprisonment eventually, and said, "ok. Now go to slee-"
But Hiro was already out.
Listening to the soft sound of his little brother breathing peacefully, Tadashi smiled and let himself be soothed by each heartbeat his monitor recorded.
Beep…
They were okay.
Beep…
They were safe.
Beep…
They had won.
Beep.
-End-
*oh that would make some cute art~ Someone draw this or I will! Speaking of which, I'm a little confused. Half a dozen of you have asked me if it's okay to draw/write fanart/stories for this and I've said "yeh, just credit me please and give me a link!" and only one or two of you have produced anything. I'm /not/ offended! I'm just confused, it's okay if you got bored and forgot or just flat out lost interest. Fanart is super cool but I really just want you guys to be happy. ;3;
*Let's all take a moment to appreciate how many times Tadashi almost lost his baby bro throughout the course of this story.
BOOM! My goodness, what an adventure that was! I really enjoyed the ride despite a few bumps along the way.
Thanks so much everyone for plopping down and enjoying the story with me! It really warms my heart to see so many people having such a good time. I always love to see people happy no matter if I am the cause of it or not.
Anyway, we've gone one more chapter left to go and then the story closes. Is there anything embarrassing I missed? Let me know!
Cheers!