Joey walked into the house with Dawson. It was a simple, yet modern house, with stunning views. God, he's made it big time, thought Joey, as she looked at the living room. Dawson settled her luggage down on the floor, 'Welcome to my house, Joey', he smiled at her. She turned around and gave him her best smile. 'I can't believe I've never been here before! It's so beautiful.' She walked around the house in awe. She started towards the kitchen, when she heard a shriek behind her.

'Bunny!', Audrey wailed. Joey whipped around with the first genuine smile in days. 'Audrey! I've missed you!', squealed Joey as she ran towards her and enveloped her in a huge hug. 'Aww, Bunny, I'm touched! I've missed you too!'. Audrey was genuinely happy to see Joey again, she missed her best friend so much. No matter how long it had been, Audrey always classed Joey as one of her closest friends. She, indeed was one of the ones that helped her through all her problems, involving men (mainly Pacey), and drinking. She supported her, and didn't abandon her like her parents had. She would always be grateful of Worthington for assigning her the perfect roommate.

'Oh god Bunny, look at this!', said Audrey, holding Joey's bump in awe. Joey smiled uncomfortably. She knew that people would start noticing the slight bump she carried, but it just reminded her of Pacey, and she wasn't ready to talk about this. Especially with Audrey. Or Dawson for that matter. Urgh, why did she decide to come here again?

'Yeah, er , where's my room guys, I think I'm just gonna crash tonight, I'm tired from all the travelling, and feeling abit queasy.' 'Oh, of course, I'll just show you to your room,', Dawson stated, abit disappointed that she wanted to go to bed, and didn't want to talk about things. He only wanted to help. He also, wanted to gloat about his relationship with Audrey, not to rub it in, or upset him, but he felt so genuinely happy he wanted to shout it from the rooftops. Dawson lead her into the room, and gave her a quick hug, 'I'm glad you're here Joey, I'll talk to you when you wake up. Have a good rest.' She graciously returned his hug. 'Thanks Dawson. You're a good friend.' He nodded shortly, and closed the door behind him.

Joey sighed, as she unpacked her bag, and got changed into her pjs. She felt like something was bothering her, and she knew what it was. She shook her head, and carried on sorting out her room. The feeling wouldn't go away. Urgh, she thought. If it bothered her so much, may be it was the right thing to do. She whipped out her cell phone, and sat on the edge of the bed. Shall I? She thought. No. I won't. Yes. No. Oh for god sake. Oh fuck, just do it Josephine.

Hey.

Oh, great choice of words Joey. Stupid, stupid. She kicked herself inside for sending such a ridiculous message, she shouldn't have even bothered. BEEP. She glanced down at her phone.

Hey Jo. I take it you've arrived safely with Dawson and already taken to the L.A life with him and Miss Liddell?

She smiled. Even after all the heartbreak, he could still share a joke. She regretted her decision as soon as she got on the plane, and knew at that time she had forgiven him. After he came after her, and let her go, she knew she was wrong for accusing him of being violent, when she knew he was just frustrated with her lack of truth and communication. But she knew something else was holding her back from running back to him, and she wasn't sure yet what it was.

Ha, I'm so tired I've just come straight to bed. Just thought I would pop you a text to let you know I was here safe.

Thanks for letting me know.. It's going to be weird here in Capeside without you, you know.

It's going to be weird here without you Pace. I miss you.

Shit. I shouldn't have written that.

I miss you too Jo. Take care, and text me if you need anything. Love you Potter. X x

She sighed to herself, her heart breaking inside. She caressed her baby bump, the baby they made out of love. Why did she let all this get so far.

Hey Pace?

Yeah Jo?

Me and Bump love you. X x

She smiled happily to herself when she got his return message.

:) Goodnight, my love.

Joey rolled underneath the covers, and dreamt fiercely for her happy ending.

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'Well well well, I wondered when we would see you!' Audrey stated from the kitchen counter, happily munching on a slice of toast. 'Coffee?' Joey gave Audrey an amused glance as she pottered into the kitchen to join her. 'If you had forgotten, or were momentarily blinded, you would realise that this bump here is not an overeat, it really is a baby, and I've heard that caffeine isn't good for you when you already can't sleep. But thanks' Audrey laughed at Joey's words, 'Oh no worries cupcake. Now, tell me what's going on with you and my ex boyfriend. Pacey, if you didn't know who I was talking about.' Joey cringed inwardly at the mere mention of his name, and changed the subject immediately. 'Well, first you tell me what's going on with you and my ex boyfriend. Dawson. If you didn't know who I was talking about.' Joey smirked at her comment, but her was taken aback when Audrey replied with 'Oh, I thought for a second you meant Pacey.' She smirked again, 'Bitch. I forgot how much I missed you.' Audrey wrapped her arms around Joey, and stated 'Come on Bunny, the quicker you get it out, the easier it is to talk about. Look, go and wait on the deck, I'll bring you an orange juice and some toast and we can talk about it, ok?' She knew she wasn't going to win this one. 'Ok, ok.', and she walked outside onto the deck.

Joey smiled and thanked Audrey for her breakfast as she had wandered out on the deck with glass and plate in hand. Joey eyed her up and down, and thought that the L.A life was treating her well. Her face was still as youthful and glowing as it was all those years ago, her blue eyes full of life and soul, her hair even blonder from the glowing L.A sun. Her choice in outfits hadn't changed either, her tiny pink shorts exaggerated the length of her tanned, firm legs, and her short vest top covered just enough so she looked sexy but not tarty. Joey scowled inside when she thought that in a couple of months, even if she wanted to dress like Audrey, she couldn't as her midriff would be extending rapidly. Urgh.

'So. Bunny. Spill.', stated Audrey as she plonked herself in one of the wooden chairs, looking Joey up and down waiting for the story to spill out. Joey sighed as she pulled her hand through her hair.

'Audrey, I really don't know what to tell you. Pacey and I split up because he accused me of sleeping with Eddie. He doubted that this baby was his, and got so angry he completely lost it. I just totally freaked out at him, told him he was a prick and stormed out the house. He followed me to Dawson's then decided he was going to pick a fight with him too. I don't know what's gotten into him. The whole thing is a mess. I just don't know what to do.'

'Well, answer this. Did you fuck Eddie?' Joey's mouth opened in shock. 'What? Of course not! How could you even ask me that?'

'Well, I just wanted to know what would ever make Pacey think that? And, in all honesty Joey, why couldn't you have just had that the same reaction to my question, with Pacey, instead of calling him a prick and storming out?' Audrey simply stated, know that her words were probably stinging but knowing that Joey had to hear them.

Joey sat silent for a second. She realised what Audrey was getting at, but wasn't quite sure how to answer it. 'I... well... I guess he's supposed to trust me. So why would he ask me such a thing? And actually, in all fairness, he didn't ask me, he just accused me, which made it worse. And you're right. Something happened to make him accuse me. I was emailing Eddie, but it was entirely innocent, and I just forgot to tell Pacey , and he never really gave me a chance to explain.' Joey felt silent tears beginning to sting at her eyes, 'I know that I'm supposed to sort things out with him, and live happily ever after, but something's holding me back Audrey, and I don't know what it is.'

'What do you mean? Have you forgiven him for what's happened?'

'Yes. I realised on the plane that I had forgiven him completely. You know how stubborn I am, and I just felt that I had taken it too far. What he said was hurtful and it broke my heart, but I guess I must have placed that fear in his mind to start with. He let me go Audrey. What guy would do that? That proves to me how much he loves me, and I can't believe I started to doubt his love. I love him so much it hurts, and I want to sort it. I want to tell him all I feel, but I can't seem to. I just can't. So maybe, we're not meant to be together. Sometimes, maybe love just isn't enough.'

Audrey looked at her friend. She knew all along how much Pacey had loved Joey. When she was dating him, she saw the way he looked at Joey. She tried to ignore it, but deep down, she knew. So how Joey could ever doubt his love for her, she could never understand. She needed her head banging against a wall.

'Joey, listen. If there wasn't love, what is there? Nothing. You and Pacey belong together. And no matter how hard it is, no matter how hard it is to get those words out, you must tell Pacey how you feel. And I think I know the reason why you can't.' Joey looked up at her friend, waiting for her to let her out of her misery. 'What's that?'

'You've forgiven him. But you can't forgive yourself.'

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Joey retreated back into her room in tears. As soon as Audrey had said the words , she was right. She had nodded at Audrey's words, excused herself from the table, and ran inside before Audrey could see her tears. She was the cause of all this. No matter how much she tried to blame Pacey, it was her. She was the one that lied to him, not told him about Eddie. Didn't tell him about the emails. She was responsible for the demise of their relationship, for the third time.

The first time, she had put Dawson first, lying to him about sleeping with Pacey, and that hurt Pacey. She always put Dawson's feelings first, but not for the reasons that Pacey thought, she just didn't explain herself to him. She promised herself, after he left her at prom, finally giving up on their love, that she would never ever, do that to him again. She was given a second chance with him, when she was nineteen, and she threw it away because she was scared. And again, Pacey had put everything on the line for her, and she stomped all over it again. And then, their most recent attempt, she lied to him. Again. Made him doubt her again. No wonder he accused her. She put him through years of heartbreak, and just expected him to just ignore it and get on with it. But she hadn't realised what she had done. And now she felt it was too late. She sobbed silently for what she had lost. It was fixable yes, but she had to forgive herself first. And she didn't know how long that would take. And would Pacey every fully forgive her?

Her heart ached as she opened her cell phone, and read all the old messages he had sent her. Why had she ever doubted this wonderful man? She cried silently as she went back a couple of months, before they found out she was pregnant, before he proposed, before they lived together. She was still in New York, him in Capeside, and he missed her immensely, sending her the most soppy message anyone would thing she was in a lame teen show.

Just a short message to let u know I love u miss potter, with my whole heart. U r my whole world. I miss u so much i wish u were here in my bed with me. And no, get ur mind out the gutter gorgeous, i meant so I could wrap my arms around u, and feel ur warm body next to mine, the smell of ur shampoo and perfume on my pillow so i can imagine ur here. God woman, uve got me whipped. X x

She cried to herself again. God. Stupid, stupid, selfish woman. How could I ruin his life the way I have. 'Oh Pacey,' she thought, 'Will you forgive me? Again?'

She didn't know when she would eventually forgive herself, but she decided it was definitely time to start trying.

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