Chapter 21

Music, it was someone humming as I woke up that had me confused. I moved and final felt that I was lying on top on someone. Pushing myself up, I looked at Edward and smiled before collapsing back on top of him. He chuckled at this and I tried to smile with his happiness and failed. How could he want to be close to me, I had just killed two vampires! I had given echoes the power to harm, rip them to pieces! I was a monster how could he still want to be with me?

"Why are you...?" I began to ask as he pulled me up and kissed me. I was lost in the feel of his cold lips on mine, it felt so right and perfect. I melted into him and after a moment he pulled away and rested me on his chest.

"I love you Bella, I thought we already had this conversation." Edward said trying to make the situation lighter and failing. "I am here because you are." He answered finally and I clung to him.

"But I... I let the echoes... I made them!" I rambled in broken sentences and Edward chuckled but held me tightly to him.

"There was no other option. Alice saw what they would have done if you hadn't of stopped them." Edward stated and I realised how much pain the thought of my death brought him. I hated myself a little more even though it seemed impossible. If my actions had merely hurt Carlisle and Esme then they had murdered Edward.

"I keep hurting those I love." I whispered and pushed my face into his chest unwilling to look at him. Not when I knew I was a monster a horrible person that hurt people, even the ones I cared for. I began to cry again and Edward tried to sooth me which only made me feel worse and cry harder. After a while he seemed to be at a complete loss and Esme and Carlisle came to help.

"Bella? Are you alright?" Esme asked as she pulled me gently away from Edward. I sobbed and flung myself at her. I had so much to make amends for and no way to begin. They had given me so much and I wasn't worth any of it. Carlisle brushed the tears from my face and raised my chin so that I had to look at him.

"You did what was needed, sadly but you are not to blame. Nor are you a monster." He told me with a sharpness that made it impossible for me to doubt.

"But I killed them!" I cried as I slipped to the ground, Esme still holding on to me making sure I didn't hurt myself. They were too kind they thought too highly of me. I wasn't worthy of them, I was a broken and angry and murderous thing.

"As they would have killed you and potentially Esme as well." Edward stated and my heart sank. They would have hurt Esme. I knew this and yet I hadn't even really thought about it. James wanted to fight with the whole of the Cullens he wasn't sure if I was enough to start that so he would have... My grip on Esme increased drastically and I sobbed. I had kept her safe but at what cost? Would there come a day when any one that even posed a threat had to be killed?

"How did you...?" Carlisle began before stopping. Breathing in and out trying to calm down a bit I pulled my head away from Esme's shoulder and looked up at him.

"I give them energy and they attack the focus of my fear." I answered, "Though I don't really know how I give them energy or why they don't attack everything or me." I let my head drop back to Esme's should and shuddered at the thought of having hurt her trying to help. She rubbed more circles on my back and kissed the top of my head.

"An impressive gift." Carlisle said more to himself than me. I just felt heavy and tired. Soon my thoughts became incoherent and I was pulled back into sleep. Sadly before I could truly bask in the darkness that only came with dreamless sleep it began to lighten and I began to dream.

"We are your gods follow or be damned!" A voice shouted out in Egyptian and I muttered about how stupid he looked wrapped in linens like he was. But those below him bowed and praised him and began to pray at the magnificent sight of him. I rolled my eyes and wondered who the Egyptian 'god' ordered the death of this time.

I heard a loud thunderous banging and looked at the sky. It was a mess of dark clouds and of course the idiot god king was standing at the highest point. Maybe he would die instead of those that followed him; it would be a nice change. There would be a funny awe of this moment if the very gods struck him down, ah lightening!

Sadly he moved inside before he could be struck and his final order of continue building had everyone dashing about. I followed after him wondering what I was to see if not the slaves dying for his 'memory.' Sighing I noted that he moved forward and sat down on a bench instead of his throne. It was unusual I mean most of the noble or 'god' born were surrounded by attendants and constantly pampered.

"You seem displeased and bored of me." He spoke and I was startled as he looked right at me. He still spoke Egyptian so this wasn't some over tired dream.

"I have seen many lead and kill their people for their gain." I answered, in Egyptian, him wondering if he would hear me. He smiled and shrugged.

"This is how we are to seem to our people, godlike and to busy to care for them. It is how we are needed to be. Cold and unable to be unjustly harmed." He answered in a tired and annoyed voice.

"You wish to be more." I stated and he smiled at me.

"Yes I wish to be much more and yet can not think of how to be more." He answered as he got up and began to pace. "They die for me and yet I can do nothing to make it any different. If we go to war they must fight for Egypt for their Pharaoh. Many die making my monument and yet that too must be done."

"I know your burden I have the power to harm many and have sadly had need of it recently." I told him and he smiled at me though it was anything but happy.

"Such a burden to put death to others." He replied and I nodded. My heart was heavy and I felt stupid and young for being bored by this man who I knew nothing about. He could be any type of man in any situation but I had judged him like others judged me.

"How can you see me?" I asked and he looked at me confused and yet smiling.

"I see the dead." He answered and in turn I smiled at him and bowed.

"Ah but I am not dead." I answered and he looked at me in awe.

"Truly not?" he asked as he moved to reach out to touch me but his hand passed through me. "Perhaps it is you who is mistaken."

"Nope, I am a witness to the past not active in it, therefore no body, though you are the first to see and hear me." I told him as I stared at him.

"Perhaps we have both gone mad." He sighed as he sat down again. I shrugged perhaps.

"What is your name?" I asked I knew history but the pharaohs seemed to blur a lot since I often merely dealt with their people and not themselves. Though I suppose that could be true of most civilizations.

"I am Siamun." He answered clearly and smiled at me. I knew the names of kings it helps in establishing a mental timeline. It was around 960-970 BC.

"I'm Bella." I answered thankful that I had bothered to learn ancient Egyptian or this would not work so well. I mean I seriously doubt he would understand English. Ren finally appeared at my side and looked at Siamun curious. "This is Ren." I had to enunciate her name like I had mine so he could repeat it.

"A pleasure to meet you." He said formally and I smiled as Ren bowed to him before correcting herself.

"He can see us?" She asked and I shrugged.

"He can see the dead." I told her and she smiled at him.

"So you are like Bella." She told him and I looked at her I guess that was right. I saw the dead, and well echoes. He smiled at me and nodded to Ren.

"It would appear so, though I do not witness the past." He said and I chuckled. This was an odd night. Thinking on being seen I remembered how children sometimes would stare in my direction before going back to what they were doing. I guess kids are sensitive to the world around them, though they didn't see me they felt me. "Perhaps you could help me." He asked pondering something.

"I should warn you my history is spotty, I know events on a personal level but I don't have a perfect recollection of all areas historically." I told him and he smiled in response.

"I only really wish to know or the general things possible for my people. To tell them what is possible." His eyes glowed with excitement and desire as he spoke. I wanted to help him but was uncertain of the correct way to tell him of the future. I really didn't want to get quoted somewhere that would just be awkward.

"The world is much easier to travel; people move to new lands and are accepted and made to be one of those lands peoples. Information spreads easily and what is known in one place can be easily shared with another far from it. All people stand for the rights of those in other places. But mostly we are better healers, builders, soldiers, and all people are free." I told him and he looked both amazed and uncertain. I was glad I hadn't said anything specific. "There comes a moment in a very long time when it is best for your people to be free to be responsible for themselves."

"I had not thought of these things. I had not realised that the future could be so different. Easy travelling, vast information sharing, and freedom for all people." He looked astonished and yet accepting. "I will look to this future and try to enhance it, though it would only be chaotic now I am sure that it is wondrous when it comes for all to be free." I could tell that he was pleased to hear these things but uncertain of what he could actually give his people.

"Perhaps a little respect for those that follow you, walk amongst them as the bow to you. Show your love of them with a smile or kind word. Make them love you and mourn their losses as your own." I suggested and he smiled at me.

"It is what I can do." He replied and seemed to like my words. "I will go to them and praise them for the great things they do for me. I will smile my joy and I will make their lives brighter by hearing their words and responding." He told me a smile on his once hard and empty features.

"You are truly a great god king if you do this." I told him and he smiled and finally rose to his throne and laughed.

"I shall be what I am the best I can." He told me and I began to feel pulled back to the waking world.

"I have enjoyed speaking with you. Perhaps we shall see each other again pharaoh." I told him bowing and everything went dark. I floated and relaxed at peace.