HI all, hopefully there is still some interest in my little story. It's been over a month since I posted but it's with good reason….My litany of events (all good) since I last posted:

My son turned 20 May 14 (party)

My daughter got married May 21. The wedding was perfect, people were fabulous and the weather cooperated!

My Dad turned 90 and we had a family brunch May 22.

I had my grandson (7 year old barrel of fun) for 2 weeks. Thru June 2.

Caught a bad cold.

So there you have it! My excuses for not posting as often plus, this chapter was really hard to write!

This chapter as I mentioned previously may surprise you. Enjoy!

Blind Faith

Chapter 21

Jasper

"… You know, on the moving in thing, can I gradually move in? I need to keep my space for a while longer but I'll start moving things over. When do you think I should start?"

"How does this afternoon work for you?" Jasper laughed at my enthusiasm.

"Okay, Edward, I'll bring a few things over since I'm staying the night. The other thing is…" Jasper hesitated.

"Anything, Jasper."

"I think I'm going to need my own space in your home. Do you mind if I move into the spare room?"

"You'll still sleep with me?"

"Oh, yes baby don't worry about that."

"It's yours, just like my heart is yours." We kissed, sealing our relationship.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

As we drove towards Edward's hair appointment I continued to mentally pull away from his insistence, his need to include me in his way of life on his terms. He had no clue he was doing such, consumed as he was with happiness that we were finally together.

In his eagerness to move forward as a couple he was making all of the calls so far in the very short tenure of our relationship. Somehow we need to change course now or knowing how I react to feeling controlled we would not last for the long haul no matter how much we were pulled towards each other. The question is, how do I broach the subject to Edward without deeply upsetting him?

First of all, I really did not want to cut my hair; that was Edward's thing. For all his issues, Edward was certain about how he wanted to live his life. I, however, was a bundle of unknowns to the point that I frankly was unsure whether I wanted to continue a legal career. We were compatible in so many ways but we would only last if we also appreciated that which makes us each unique.

In a way, you would expect that Edward, newly awakened to his sexuality would be timid but that was not the case. Once he acknowledged he was gay and that the world for the most part still spun on its axis after his revelation he gained a sense of assurance, of rightness that surprised me in its speed.

Lost as I was in my reverie I hadn't paid much attention to Edward for the past few minutes. As we drove, I stared out the window.

"E, where are we?" I asked Edward as the car rolled to a stop and he parked. He eyed me curiously.

"We're almost to Toni's; she's been doing my hair for years." We were parked at an upscale open air mall. He hopped out and rounded to open my door. I took his hand as he guided me out of his car and towards the shop.

Edward walked determinedly holding my hand while extolling the professionalism of the staff. We entered together amidst a loud cooing and clucking; I tugged against his force.

Edward released my hand and was shortly thereafter engulfed in the strong embrace of a rather large woman dressed all in black. Her brilliant red hair was cut short and stuck out in geometric angles. Long sparkly earrings swung wildly from her earlobes as she attacked him, one clog slipping off her foot awkwardly.

This Toni woman was all over Edward hugging him and kissing his cheek but she had her beady black eyes focused on me, appraisingly in a not unfriendly manner.

"I could give you some highlights and emphasize those lovely locks…" she winked at me while clinging to my Edward. I was a little uncomfortable with her obvious affection for him.

"No, I'm good." It was now or never, I had to take a stand.

"Hey um Edward, I'm not interested in cutting my hair. I think I'm going to look around the other shops for a while. I'll be back in a few." I cringed awaiting his response.

"All you had to do was tell me, Jasper, do what you want." He looked at me slightly wounded but not about to counter my desires.

"Be back in a bit, E." I walked towards him as he disentangled himself from Toni's embrace and pulled him in to me sharply. I kissed him lightly and whispered in his ear, "In case anyone was wondering to whom you belong." He snickered as I kissed him once more and gave him a little slap on his ass as he turned towards Toni. With a backward glance, I waved to him as I left the shop. Definitely not my thing…

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I wandered a bit strolling down the street past the storefronts still focused on my musings on how Edward and I were going to make "us" work. He was so eager and full of optimism, not jaded and cautious as I was. It occurred to me that I was Edward's first real relationship; he had been tied to Tanya for so many years, sleepwalking through his life assuming the inevitability of their marriage followed by children, staying within the tight Cullen family circle. Yet, he was unafraid.

Children… God, that was the only downside of being gay, the inability to procreate with your mate. If we survived, would I want to find a way to have our own children? I dismissed the thought, getting way too far ahead of myself, I mused; I mean we only just became a couple. There was a lot to work through before kids became an issue.

I realized I was hungry and thought I'd look for a place to sit for a while, get a quick bite and get a "to go" bag for Edward. Up ahead I spied a restaurant with a large outdoor area. It seemed popular as most of the outside tables were filled and friendly chatter filled the air. It felt good. I walked in; the hostess greeted me brightly inquiring as to the size of my party. "One" I responded asking to be seated outside.

I followed her sway as she guided me through the restaurant to the outside seating. She placed a menu on a small bistro table just big enough for one or two.

"Your server will be with you shortly" She smiled at me lingeringly…I lowered my eyes to my menu to discourage her continued interest.

Once she left I stretched my legs out and leaned back in my chair checking out the avenue. As luck would have it, I spied a boot shop. Oh yeah, I needed a new pair badly, making a mental note to get over there as soon as I was done with lunch. I smiled to myself as the waiter approached, quite an attractive woman.

"Hi, I'm Charlotte, I'll be your waitress today." Her eyes twinkled with friendliness waiting expectantly. No freakin' way…could this be Charlotte from my Texas days? The woman I remember had long light brown curls. This Charlotte had her hair cut short, pixie style; I almost didn't recognize her. I kept silent wanting to be certain, wondering whether if it was her I should say anything at all recalling the condition we were in and what we did with Peter those long ago evenings.

"Would you like to hear the specials?" I nodded, regarding her closely.

I gave Charlotte my order then asked her to prepare a "to go" plate.

"Is your girl shopping for an outfit to knock your socks off?" She winked at me.

"No, it's for my boyfriend who is probably starving and wondering why I'm taking so long to get back to him." I laughed as I caught Charlotte's grin.

She retreated to place my order and I checked my phone for messages. There was one from Edward: "Where r u?"

"Lunch. My waitress is Charlotte who I think is a woman I knew in Texas."

"Old flame?" I could sense the prickliness of his tone in the text.

"No…but the real story does require explanation. I'll tell you about it when I see you."

"I'm done, just sitting here waiting for u starving!"

Feeling a little guilty for leaving Edward hanging but needing some alone time, I relaxed after that last text, enjoying the convivial atmosphere. Edward would like this place.

Charlotte returned with my lunch snappily setting it down in front of me. I ate quickly anxious to get to the boot shop and decided there and then I wouldn't bring up our night of debauchery. After all, it was all we had in common…

"Anything else you need Jasper?" It took me a minute to realize I hadn't told her my name. She remembered. I gave an embarrassed laugh.

"No, I'm good. Just waiting for the to go order."

"Let me check to see if it's ready." She sauntered off leaving me squirming. Of all the people I might have run into…I sighed, trying not to dwell on the past.

I watched Charlotte as she approached me. She looked good, healthy. She handed me Edward's lunch taking the opportunity to trace her fingertips against my skin.

"It's good to see you again. I heard about Peter…" I grimaced and she was instantly apologetic.

I stood at that point dropping a few bills on the table along with a hefty tip.

"It's not something I talk about, Charlotte. Well got to run, it was great seeing you again." I stretched and gave her a wave as I departed, not wanting to wait for an invitation to continue our "reunion".

I spent more time than I wanted at the restaurant and felt bad that I had left Edward for so long. I headed back to the salon, rather than the boot shop, with his lunch in hand.

I noticed as soon as I entered that he was peeved at me but trying to hide it. Clearly he had been finished for quite a while and was stewing over my absence.

"I brought you lunch."

"I would have rather gone to lunch with you Jasper, but thanks," he said in a clipped tone digging in the bag, finally smiling when he saw what I had brought for him. His hair was now cut short, preppy style, all business. No matter, he looked like an angel.

He said his goodbyes to Toni and we entered the bright sunshine together.

"Let's find a place to sit so you can eat." I said. Spying an unoccupied bench I grabbed his hand and led him towards it.

"A Reuben, my favorite and potato salad. Okay you're forgiven." I sat down close to Edward and rested my arm behind him teasing his shoulder with my fingers as he ate. I leaned in and kissed his freshly shaved neck because he was looking entirely too adorable.

We talked idly enjoying the nice weather while he polished off his sandwich. He finished, cleared his throat and glanced over at me with a steely gaze, his lawyer look evident.

"So tell me about this Charlotte person…" Gah! I really didn't want to get into it right now but I had already pushed a lot of Edward's buttons today; I didn't want to piss him off. I leaned back, cradling my head in my hands and thought about where to start. I cringed at the memories evoked. Peter was involved as well so I decided to edit the more graphic parts. Maybe if I just quickly blurted it out Edward wouldn't ask too many questions.

"I had a three-some with Charlotte and…Peter." Don't ask any questions I silently begged Edward.

"Huh…I didn't expect that." He was studying me, leaning forward resting his forearms on his thighs as I squirmed where I sat, uncomfortable with the conversation.

"So was it just the one time, Jasper?" Edward's curiosity had been piqued.

"No, it was more than once." Damn!

"How long did it go on?" The look he gave me was intense.

"Um, a few weeks, it was three times that we all got together. Peter and I had just been seeing each other a few months when he introduced me to Charlotte. I gathered she was some sort of former girlfriend of his."

"Why did it end?"

"It was because of me actually. I had a hard time being with Charlotte after a while. She was very aggressive and…oh, I really don't want to get into details, Edward. Suffice it to say I wasn't into it any more. I experimented and got over it." An image of being tied to a headboard and lashed flashed briefly before my eyes. Ugh!

"I don't need to know the details, Jasper. I've heard enough. Thanks for being honest with me."

"You know this is ancient history, Edward? I got a little wild my last year in law school and it's not something I care to repeat." He pulled me in and kissed me soundly.

"Shh…no worries we won't speak of this again. We have each other now. Although I have to admit to being more than a little turned on." Edward snickered and pecked at my lips shaking the thought off.

"Let's get going."

Edward wrapped up his trash and deposited it in the nearby waste can. I took his hand and led him up the street towards the boot store I had spied earlier.

"Where are we headed?" Edward asked. I didn't answer him right away wanting to see his reaction.

"We're almost there." I responded after a bit seeing his mystified and slightly irritated expression. Edward did not like surprises, it seemed. Everything about him was precise, orderly, planned out; well, with the exception of the night he jumped me. Ah, memories… I need to loosen this cowboy up.

"Come on E, we're going to get us some new boots!" He arched one eyebrow at me and huffed out a breath.

"Cowboy boots, Jasper? I don't do cowboy boots." Edward looked down at his non flashy footwear, comfy loafers he'd worn without socks.

"Aw, please, at least try on a pair." I gave him a pleading look clapping my hands when he nodded his assent. I called the clerk over to assist Edward then wandered off to look around the shop. Boots of every description lined the shelves, the pungent leather smell appealing to my senses.

I glanced over at Edward and the clerk who had reappeared with a number of boxes. The clerk, a young kid probably just out of high school, crouched down in front of Edward and opened the boxes, haphazardly tossing the lids to reveal their contents.

It was funny to watch Edward, out of his comfort zone sliding on white socks in preparation for trying on the boots. I was actually a little surprised that he agreed to try them on.

I wandered around a bit until I found exactly what I was looking for. A beautiful pair of black snakeskin boots with silver toe caps. They would look amazing with my dark gray suit. Edward didn't know it yet but this was my pre-trial preparation.

I got the attention of a saleswoman pointed out the boots that I wanted. I slid off my old beat up boots and sat down across from Edward who was strutting around a tad awkwardly in a set of ostrich skin boots. He was white hot in those things.

"E, you've got to buy those." He looked at me and grinned.

"You like?" His eager delight was so endearing that I wanted to jump him right here in the store.

"Oh yeah, you look great. Pretty soon you'll be talking with a Texas drawl darlin'."

"Y'all think so?" Edward wiggled his eyebrows at me. We laughed enjoying the atmosphere of fun and frivolity that surrounded our little shopping trip.

Edward decided to buy the boots which pleased me immensely. It was as if he was trying on a bit of my world and finding himself liking it.

"Now all I have to do is get you to a country bar." I growled nipping at his neck as he giggled at my comment. Squeezing his waist to pull him towards me, we walked up to the register to purchase our boots. I added a bolo tie for each of us to our pile of goods. I wanted to buy a belt for Edward but decided to come back later. The day was waning and I still needed to go by my place.

This was going to be tricky. I could sense that Edward was getting into a dark mood.

"Edward, let's head back to your home so I can pick up my car. I want to go over to my place and pick up some things, run a few errands."

"First of all, my home is your home Jasper," he sighs exasperated "and since we're already driving why don't I just come with?"

As much as I love Edward, he can be very obtuse. I just want some space; he doesn't seem to understand my need. I love being with him but I like to have alone time as well. I'm starting to feel a little trapped.

"Edward, I don't want to take up all of your day, and I need to take of a few things on my own. Don't get upset with me, okay?" I say when I see his face drop with disappointment.

"I'm doing it again aren't I?" He sighs sadly. "I'm making you feel cornered. I'm not Peter, Jasper, but I think maybe you don't see that and honestly maybe I am moving too fast for us." Edward parked and turned off the car.

"Hey, I don't mean anything bad by it and you're not doing anything wrong, it's my issues that are the problem. We need to work through our stuff so we can have a solid relationship. It's all still so new; we could really fuck things up if we're not careful." Edward cupped my face in his hands and drew me towards him. He placed a kiss on my lips then sat back drawing his fingers down my neck and shoulders taking my hands in his.

"I'm sure of you Jasper but I can see you need more time to decide what you want from our relationship. This is all new especially for me." He laughs sadly. "I don't want you to feel pressured okay? Go do your thing."

"Thanks, E. I'll meet you at the diner tonight, around nine if that's okay…"

"Sure thing, Jasper" He said distractedly, removing packages from the car including the boots I bought.

"Do you want me to take these inside?" He lifts the boots up in question. There's something about the way he asks that I find troubling. He doubts me.

"Yes, please." I walk towards Edward, laden as he is with packages and wrap my arms around his waist. My lips taste the salty skin at the nape of his neck. I breathe him in.

"I'm in love with you Edward, please remember that." He nods, as I kiss his neck. I walk away fumbling in my pockets for my keys wondering whether alone time is worth the pain I caused.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

My place had an abandoned air to it, which left me at a loss. Just last week my home had sparkled with vitality as I'd entertained Rosalie and Emmett along with Alice and Jacob going all out with the cooking.

I truly wasn't ready to give up my condo and move in with Edward, I had barely lived in the place. Somehow I had to get across to him that I wanted to be his boyfriend, his lover exclusively but that I wasn't ready to move in as quickly as he wanted me to. My preference was to build our relationship with patience. I did warn him that I was taking things slowly and I had a need to stake a claim to my own territory.

I decided that I would have a barbecue here sometime the following week with all of our friends. I know throwing Edward and Jacob together would be like pouring gasoline on a fire but they needed to work it out.

I was also bothered by how I held Edward apart from my friends, that wasn't right. I debated over how to bring it up to Edward, his opinion should not control my decisions but the ghosts of my past relationship haunted me. Unconsciously I was seeking his permission.

I whiled away a few hours straightening the place up, packing a bag to take over to Edward's.

My doorbell rang startling me out of my mindless errands. . I grabbed my overnight bag and set it down by the front door as I opened it slightly wondering who could be calling at this time of night. Rather than wait for me to answer the door it was thrown open bouncing violently off the backstop reverberating as it settled; I leaned into the door trying to force it closed scared out of my mind, utterly confused at what was happening. It seemed I was about to be the victim of a home invasion robbery.

Strong arms pushed against the door violently throwing me off balance and I was knocked to the floor. I cried out in alarm, I didn't have time to react before the lights went out. I saw enough though to make out two large men obscured by the darkness but silhouetted in the porch light.

I tried to scramble away but failed as two meaty hands grabbed me roughly. I grunted in discomfort as I was pummeled repeatedly. Something struck me on the back of my head causing blinding pain just before I descended into darkness

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Edward

I arrived at the diner shortly before nine o'clock not surprised I was here before Jasper. No doubt, he wanted to be "fashionably late" in order to avoid the awkwardness of waiting on me in an unfamiliar place.

"Hi hon," Rick called out gathering a menu. "Just sit yourself down and I'll be right there." I sank down in my usual booth stretching my legs out, scanning the window impatiently for Jasper's arrival.

"What's got you wired so tightly?" Rick asked, concerned at my distracted demeanor as he set the menu and place setting before me. I guess drumming my fingers on the table and jiggling my knee gave the impression I was nervous. Duh.

"I'm waiting for a friend, Jasper, I'm sure I've mentioned him. He must be running late. I wanted him to meet you." I drifted off to silence feeling embarrassed at my previous enthusiasm to have Rick and Jasper know each other.

"Do you want to wait a bit to order?

"Yeah, I think I'll wait. I'm not sure what he'd want to eat."

Rick clicked his tongue.

"How about I get you a beer to um, take the edge off…" His sparkling eyes glinted at me and I smiled back at him.

"Yeah, that would be great, Rick, thanks." He bustled away and I scrubbed my hands over my face worried that Jasper was pulling away from me, it was now half past nine and there were very few reasons I could think of for him to be this late and not text or call to let me know.

I regretted in retrospect that in my eagerness to be with him I had pushed so early in our relationship for us to move in together, I could see that now. Today spoke volumes.

It was as if Jasper couldn't stand to be in my presence for very long although I was certain he cared for me. It stung. I resolved then and there to let him off the hook and give him all the time he needed to trust that I only wanted his best interests and determined to reign in my bossy controlling tendencies.

Rick came and sat across from me, drying his hands on a dishtowel.

I sucked back the last of the beer and set the bottle down.

"We're about to close the kitchen, it's almost ten o'clock. Can I get you something?" Rick said softly. He reached out and pried my hands apart taking one and looking at me sympathetically.

"Maybe something came up and he couldn't make it…"

"Jasper is not like that. He always let's me know. There's more going on here." Fuck! I suddenly felt like a fool, humiliated at the thought I had expected he would show, without a doubt and here I sat, my friend looking at me with pity.

"I'm going to go, but thanks Rick. I might need to talk some stuff through with you if that's okay."

"Call me when you're ready to talk, hon, I'll be here for you." He patted my shoulder and wiped down the table leaving me sitting alone. Would this booth ever feel the same again? In all the times I'd sat here I enjoyed the comfort and warmth of the place. It had become a security blanket of sorts. Tonight I was desolate, sad. The place reflected my feelings, empty and devoid of vitality.

I dragged myself out of the booth and trudged out the entrance with a quick wave to Rick.

As I was clicking the lock of my car open a van screamed by on the highway at reckless speed. Even I wouldn't hazard that level of acceleration.

Huh. Stupid teenage kids.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Jasper

Gagged and hogtied in the back of a moving vehicle I was jostled around due to the breakneck speed at which it was traveling. I would be bruised from head to toe from the drive alone not to mention the beating I had suffered.

I regained consciousness sometime during the trip and refrained from groaning in pain. I didn't want to alert the thugs that I was awake.

I cringed as shooting pains radiated from every part of my body. I was having a hard time breathing as my mouth was stuffed with a gag.

Edward. I wondered what was going through his mind when I didn't arrive at the diner. I prayed he had faith in me and would realize that I would never, ever leave him stranded.

I don't know why but I knew he was my only hope of making it out of this alive.

So this was probably not what you expected but is definitely part of the story. I would love to hear what you think. I'll post next chapter in two weeks.