Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls or Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Author's note: Takes place on the bus ride when Jess is leaving for California, but it goes different than on the show. Pretty sure it kinda sucks, but it happens. Let me know what ya'll think.

If I leave here tomorrow,
would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on, now,
cause there's too many places I've got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows, I can't change.

"Hey," she says softly, sitting beside me on the bus. I try desperately to hide the duffel beside me, but as her eyes travel to where it rests, I know it's a losing battle.

"Hey," I say back, pretending she hasn't seen it. She's trying to hold back tears, and a part of me hates her for it.

"You're leaving?" She finally asks me after a moment of silence, staring down at her tightly interlocked fingers.

I just shrug, as I look out the window, not daring to let myself look into her eyes. I know she could make me stay, but if I did, things would never be the same. I'd always be wondering what else is out there. I'd always be wondering about the places I could be going. And I know she'd be wondering if I'd rather be somewhere else.

"Were you going to tell me?"

I look at her then, just in time to see the first tear trickle down her pale cheek. She isn't even trying to hide that she's crying and my heart cracks a little at the sight of her.

"No," I say it coldly, knowing that if I soften now, I'll never leave this freak show of a town. She nods, biting her bottom lip, as more tears pour down her face. Against my better judgment, I reach out and gently wipe away a tear, but she jumps back from me as if I've burned her. My hand drops down to my lap and I sigh softly.

"I always knew you would leave," she says so quietly I almost don't hear her.

"I never meant to hurt you," I say honestly. She doesn't deserve this; I know she doesn't, but I can't change who I am.

"Will you come back?" She asks, ignoring my statement.

"I don't know, Rory."

"Where are you going?"

"Rory…"

"Just…please Jess, where are you going?" She's managed to stop the flow of tears and I can almost see the concrete wall she's placing between us.

"California," what's the point in lying to her? After everything, she at least deserves to know.

"Is it…is it because of the other night? Is it because I wouldn't…" she trails off, unable to actually say the words.

"Shit, Rory. No. How could you even think that?" She starts crying again, hearing the tinge of hurt and anger in my voice.

"What am I supposed to think?" She asks me, forlornly. God, at this moment I want nothing more than to take her in my arms and tell her that it's going to be okay. I want to tell her that I'll never leave her, but we would both know it's a lie.

"Just take my word for it that this has nothing to do with you. None of this is your fault," I say gently, not wanting to hurt her anymore. I wish we were at her stop already, I don't think I can take much more of this.

"I'm sorry," is all she can manage to say as sobs begin to overtake her. I just sit by and watch, helplessly, as my girlfriend's, ex-girlfriend's, shoulders shake with sorrow.

"Rory," I say, pleading with her to stop. Doesn't she know how much she's hurting me right now, but I know I deserve it.

"Why am I not enough?" She whispers it and I know she isn't asking me. She's asking herself and I think I understand that she isn't just questioning why she isn't enough for me. She's questioning why she wasn't enough for her dad to stick around, why all the men in her life seem to leave.

The next thing I know the bus is slowly coming to a stop and I recognize it as her stop, but she doesn't move from her seat. She wraps her arms around her shaking form and just sobs harder.

"You have to go to school, Rory," I say softly, but I don't think she hears me because she just stares straight ahead of her. The bus starts moving again and I sigh in frustration. Why won't she just let me leave in peace?

"I know I'm not making this easy on you, but I don't care. I know I can't stop you from leaving, but I need to spend more time with you. I just, I just need…" she breaks off and lays her head in my lap, letting her tears soak into my faded jeans. I have no idea what to do, so I just stroke her hair until I hear her breathing begin to even out and I realize she's fallen asleep.

An hour goes by before the bus finally comes to the end of the line. I gently lift her head, placing an old sweatshirt of mine beneath her. I crouch down and softly kiss her forehead, the regret of leaving her already seeping its way into my heart, but I know this is something I have to do.

"I love you," I whisper softly, as I lift my duffel bag over my shoulder and start walking off the bus.

"Will you call me?" I hear her gentle voice question me. I look back at her, taking in her disheveled dark hair and red-rimmed eyes, her arms wrapped tightly around my old sweatshirt. She looks so beautiful in this moment, her sad blue eyes asking me questions that I can't possibly answer.

"I'll call you," I say, knowing that this time it's the truth. I don't know when, but this is a promise I won't break.

I turn around and get off the bus, knowing I'm doing the right thing, but I also realize in that same instant that I'm leaving my heart back in a small town with her.

Bye, bye, it's been a sweet love.
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it badly
cause lord knows I'm to blame.
But, if I stayed here with you girl
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now
And this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't change.