21: Driving Miss Donna

Donna did her best to avoid being seen by CJ when they got back to the hotel. Sam, and any of the others, had they been there, would have been utterly oblivious to the pleasant glow she was currently inhabiting, but CJ would see it straight away. And get the wrong idea about their entirely innocent trip to the movies.

Of course, telling CJ that she was wearing a look like a love-struck twelve-year-old simply because Josh had briefly slipped an arm around her would probably not look good either.

So, to avoid CJ, she concentrated on their cover story - which involved stuffing Josh full of all sorts of disgusting foods. It was a duty she rather enjoyed.

"Okay, now you should have the chilli. And a drink. Something fizzy."

Josh groaned, and looked ill. "Donna, I have to ask, are you clear on the concept of 'cover story'? As in 'fake it'?"

"Yes, Josh. And the most basic tenet is 'lots of evidence'."

"Oh, stuff one more of those horrible spicy things down my throat, and you'll have your evidence. Lots of evidence."

He really did look a little green. "Okay, maybe you should stop now. We'll get you back to the hotel."

Nobody looking at Mr. Joshua Lyman on the way back to his hotel room would fail to believe that he was feeling extremely poorly. CJ and Sam smirked at the sight of him.

"Enjoying yourself, Joshua?" asked CJ evilly. "Tell me, did you have a good lunch? What did you have? The garlic bread, or was it the curry? Have you tried that spicy Mexican sauce they do-?"

Josh got up hurriedly, and dashed for the en-suite bathroom with an expression of dismay. The others shared grins. "Phase one complete," crowed CJ.

Joey Lucas dropped in shortly afterwards, to find a pale-faced Josh lying on the sofa and groaning softly. She seemed to find the whole thing nearly as amusing as CJ and Donna.

"I think Josh might not make it to this thing tonight," Donna told Joey, the model of the professional assistant discussing her boss's schedule.

"Tell him that's okay," relayed Kenny. "I'll be back in the White House fairly soon, and I look forward to talking with him then."

Donna had a lot of trouble deciding which one of them she should aim her evil look at.

"I can't believe we got away that easily."

"You were expecting the Secret Service to leap out and stop us from sneaking out of a fundraiser?"

"It's just... that guy at the car hire place didn't even recognise me!"

Donna rolled her eyes. "The ego has landed."

"I'm just saying. What kind of country is it, that these people don't even recognise the key figures in their own government?"

"They probably recognise the President, Josh."

"They should recognise me! I keep this administration going."

"Whatever, Josh."

"Where are we now?"

"You're supposed to be navigating."

"And if you actually followed my directions, I would know where we were."

"'Up that way' is not a direction, Donna."

"I pointed."

"I was driving!"

"You should have seen me out of the corner of your eye. You're supposed to be observing what's going on around you, Josh."

"You're on the passenger side!"

"And if I'd stepped out into the road, you'd've run me over."

"Donna, you're inside the car with me."

"Exactly. If you can't see me, what chance have the poor pedestrians got?"

"What pedestrians? Donna, there hasn't been so much as a house for miles."

"Again I say, if you actually followed my directions..."

"I still say you should have let me drive."

"Not if your driving's as bad as your navigating."

"My navigating is excellent, thank you very much. I kept you well posted. Look, there's a sign!"

"You did not. You completely failed to point out any signs to me, which would have been a helpful thing to do given your complete failure to navigate responsibly-"

"No, I mean, 'look, there's a sign'!"

Josh screeched to a halt. "So there is," he admitted.

"Again with the lack of observation."

Josh leaned across her to read it. "Welcome to Sunnydale. Once more, I have to ask; who calls a town 'Sunnydale'?"

"I think it's cheerful. Upbeat."

"Donna, it's the mouth of Hell."

"Is that any reason to be a downer?"

"I'm thinking yeah."

"You're just sulking 'cuz that guy at the car hire didn't recognise you."

"I'm not sulking! I do not sulk."

"Whatever you say, Josh."