Jamie's eyes were closed, his breathing shallow. Danny wasn't sure if he was sleeping or just too weak to keep his eyes open. The sight made him choke.
"What did you do, kid?" he whispered to himself.
Only then his father, sitting on a chair next to the bed, looked away from his youngest son and to his oldest. His face betrayed no feelings.
"What did you do, Danny?"
Danny jerked at the accusation though he felt it was right. He had done this to Jamie. No matter what Jamie had done to Melissa, no matter what Danny would do for him now – he had hurt his brother badly, terribly, almost deadly. He would never be able to make up for this.
He could have killed Jamie.

As Frank saw the desperation on his eldest's face, his own stony expression softened. "Let's go out and you tell me everything" he suggested, but Danny shook his head almost shocked. "I won't leave him alone." Slowly he walked around the bed to a chair standing at the other side and sat down, taking up the vigilance. Over Jamie's tortured body, father's and son's eyes met.

For a moment they stayed silent, listening to the labored gasps. Frank found his own breathing louder and heavier than usual, too, and he forced it down. As bad as it was, for now Jamie was stabilized. He could no longer let his sorrow for one boy let him be harsh to the other. In the past year Danny's and Jamie's relationship had grown stronger than ever, despite Danny's opinion about Jamie being a cop. They had learnt to trust each other again, and though they still fought really bad sometimes Frank knew that Danny loved his siblings and would always protect them. How could he even for one second have assumed that Danny might have hurt his brother on purpose?

Danny could barely hold himself together, he was at the edge of crying, and though he just had protested against leaving the room he wanted to run away, away from what he had done, from what he had seen, away from the horrible noise. What would he give to be here in the bed instead of Jamie? Why was it always Jamie who had to suffer? How could he ever look into his baby brother's eyes again, or his father's or Erin's?

"I'm so sorry, dad" he murmured, not able to hold the glance any longer, "I'm so sorry. I would do anything to make it undone, trust me, anything."
"I know, Danny." Frank closed his eyes. He had whispered this silent silly plea into the air enough times himself, in endless nights after Mary and Joe had died. Anything. Anything to turn back the wheel of time and find a way to alter the course of life. It wouldn't work.

Jamie mumbled something incomprehensible and tore the men above him out of their gloomy thoughts. His voice was hoarse and even while sleeping so filled with pain that it made Danny cringe. Frank grabbed Danny's hand firmly, to steady both his son and himself. After the longest thirty seconds Danny had ever lived through, Jamie fell silent again and rolled to the other side, almost tearing away the tube in his nose. When Frank carefully placed it back into the right position he felt wet spots on Jamie's cheek.
"So he knows about Maura Baker" he said quietly, shaking his head, "I didn't want to believe it when Jackie met us at the car. Poor Abigail." He sighed. Detective Baker had been at his side for six years now, they were a good team. She was smart, stubborn, quick and most important – she was absolutely loyal. To him as a person and to the NYPD. It was a very consuming job she did, and she worked hard for it – and had set aside many things, like holidays, children, a husband. Since their parents had died, Maura was everything of family Abigail had left, and it didn't take much to see how much her little sister had meant to the detective.

As much as Danny felt for Baker – he knew her just as long as his father, and he knew she was one of the most reliable people on the force – he was thankful for the pause. He had to think about what he could and should tell about the afternoon. Whatever he said, he wouldn't only say it to his father but also to the Police Commissioner.

"Jackie told me to sign off" he started eventually, without looking into his father's eyes, "she said she doesn't want to see me in the next 48 hours so I won't be part of the investigation."
Frank frowned. "The investigation of Maura's murder? Why aren't you allowed to participate? And Danny, what happened here?"
Danny sighed. He couldn't lie to either of the men Frank Reagan impersonated right now.
Gently, he took Jamie's hand in his. "Jamie found Maura" he murmured, "and he had just called me saying something about a stalker, about… rumors being spread about him. I didn't really understand it, I told him to talk later when we'd have more time, but… the time wouldn't come. Now when Jackie and I were called to the crime scene, one of the paramedics remembered Jamie being there, and then having left…"
"To where?" Frank's voice was tense.
Danny caressed Jamie's hand, as if to protect him. "Dad, you should have seen Maura. Or maybe it's better you didn't. There was blood everywhere. That wasn't only a murder, it was an overkill. And Jamie just couldn't cope with it, he was in love with her, and he felt it was his fault because…"
"So he drove to the man he believed to be his stalker?" Frank forced himself to stay with the facts and not think further.

Danny nodded. "Yes." He swallowed. "He had told me her name so I drove to her house as well and…"
"Her?"
"Melissa Samuels." Danny closed his eyes so he didn't see Jamie's going open, alarmed by the fact that someone was holding his hand.
"When I came there, she and Jamie were… they…"

"I hit her" Jamie pressed out quietly, looking at his father. Danny cursed himself again but didn't loosen the grip – it was too late, anyway.
"I hit her over and… 'ver again. Danny had to… stop me." He shuddered, and Frank nodded quickly. "It's okay, Jamie."
"'m a bad cop" Jamie added, his voice so raw that Danny almost couldn't hear it. But he read the words on his lips and they corded up his throat. "No, you're not, Jamie" he whispered, though one year ago he had confirmed that Jamie wasn't ready to be a police officer.
"You're a good cop, you are. Ask dad!" Pleading for help, he looked at his father.

Frank's eyes laid gently on his youngest' pained face. "You are a good cop, Jamie. And I am glad you're still here with us. Now try to sleep, we'll be here."
"Don… have to…"

That made the tears fall. It was all Danny could to not to run away and cry like a child.

Frank smiled. "Yes, we do, Jamie. That's what families do. We watch out for each other. You will be okay again soon. And we will sort out whatever's coming along. I love you, son. Now try to sleep."
His soothing yet strong voice calmed Jamie down enough to close his eyes, and shortly after Danny had released his hand, he was asleep again.

Danny stood up, tears still rolling down his cheeks. "Let's go out" he whispered.