"Okay Caroline, the first thing you're gonna want to do it start the car."
"Wait…shouldn't we put our seat belts on first?"
"Oh, right, seat belts first."
Caroline sat in the drivers seat of Sam's car, Sam sat next to her nervously in the passenger's seat. It was Tony's idea to teach Caroline to drive a manual car. He was constantly trying to find different activities to occupy her, usually with different members of the team to reacquaint her with everyone. Sam hadn't exactly offered his services when Tony started asking around, in fact he flat out told Tony that there was no way in hell he would do it. Then Tony told him that if anything happened he would replace Sam's car, and Sam had a change of heart.
It helped that Sam had slowly become one of Caroline's more favorite people at headquarters. He was always wedging himself into her hangouts with Natasha, which had made her infinitely more comfortable around him.
"Okay so when you start the car you have to push the clutch all the way down and turn the key at the same time," Sam explained after clicking his seatbelt.
"Um, alright," Caroline said following his instructions.
She jumped slightly as the Sam's car roared to life.
"See what we're not going to do is jump like that every time the car does something new," Sam said.
"I haven't driven a car in like four years Sam," Caroline said with a shaky smile.
"What?!" Sam exclaimed, "Tony left that little piece of information out."
"Maybe we should start smaller?" Caroline suggested.
"No, if you can drive manual, you can drive anything," Sam said firmly.
"Somehow I don't think that's one-hundred percent accurate," said Caroline, glancing over at Sam.
"Hey, eyes on the road, don't question your teacher," Sam barked.
Caroline's head snapped back to the front as she laughed. Sam made it easier for her to relax a little.
"Alright let's try putting it in first," he said.
Her left foot pressed against the clutch and she shifted into first. Very slowly she pressed the gas. Just as the car began to move forward, Bucky stepped out of the building and started to cross in front of them. Caroline had made it a habit to avoid Bucky at all cost, she didn't even try to make polite conversation with him anymore. If he entered a room, she left it. Seeing him sent a wave of anxiety through every time, and this was no exception.
"Okay Caroline, hit the brake," Sam said quickly.
"I don't remember where it is," she said, turning to him eyes wide.
Sam reached over and slammed his hand on the horn, causing Bucky to stop dead in his tracks. Sam's car rolled forward still, and collided with Bucky. He went down as Sam pulled up on the emergency brake.
"Oh my god, we just hit Bucky," Caroline gasped.
"Okay first of all, you just hit Bucky," Sam corrected, "Second of all, guy's a super soldier and we were going maybe three miles an hour. He's fine."
Sam was right, Bucky was fine. He hopped up, glaring at the two of them.
"What do we do?" Caroline whispered.
"Baby girl we're gonna back up," Sam said slowly.
"What?" Caroline asked sharply.
"Hit that clutch and put this bad boy in reverse!" Sam shot.
Caroline did as she told, but Bucky grabbed the front of Sam's car with his metal hand and held it half up off the ground. Sam rolled his window down and stuck his head out.
"Hey, Winter Soldier, wanna put us down now?" he asked.
"You really just hit me with a car," Bucky snapped at Caroline.
"Okay, but to be fair, you walked right in front of me!" Caroline shouted.
"Oh, right, I can definitely see how this is my fault," he said sarcastically.
"You stopped in the middle of the driveway Barnes," Caroline shot back, "After Sam honked the horn."
"She has a point, who stops and stares like that at a moving car?" said Sam, "You were literally like a deer in the headlights," Sam chuckled.
Bucky growled and dropped the car, then strode over to the passenger's side door, flinging it open.
"Get in the back," Bucky said to Sam.
"Listen man, if the Civil Rights movement taught me anything, it's that I definitely do not have to do that," Sam grinned.
"Sam," Bucky sighed, "Caroline just hit me with your car."
"Yeah, okay, fine," Sam grumbled climbing out of his seat.
He hopped in the back, as Bucky took his seat in the front. Caroline eyed him nervously, her anxiety setting in.
"What are you doing?" she asked slowly.
"I'm going to teach you how to drive this thing," he said.
That was the last thing Sam remembered before the bickering began. The bickering turned into full blown arguing, which included much yelling and lots of cursing. His neck was sore from all of the jerky movement as Caroline learned how to shift gears properly, but after an hour of non-stop shouting, Caroline was driving around the compound like a champ.
"Does anyone know if we have neck braces in there and if so, where might we store them?" Sam asked from the backseat.
"Caroline, you need to shift," Bucky said, ignoring Sam.
"Shut up," Caroline snapped, following his directions anyway.
"Look, I know y'all think I couldn't have taught her, but we were really doing just fine before you walked your sweet ass out in front of us," Sam mumbled.
"Okay, well she hit a human being within a minute of your lesson, and she has yet to hit anything during mine," Bucky said with a grin.
"That is only because no big lumbering idiots have walked out in front of her during your lesson," Sam laughed.
"She's sitting right here," Caroline said pulling the car into the garage, "And she is perfectly capable without you two idiots."
"Caroline you hit me with a car," said Bucky.
"You just stood there!" Caroline exclaimed.
"You're supposed to use your breaks!" Bucky shot back.
"Well you caught me off guard! And usually when someone honks a horn at you, you move!" Caroline yelled as she got out of the car, slamming the door behind her.
Bucky and Sam sat silently in the car for a few moments. Sam watched Bucky carefully, but Bucky was refusing to make eye contact.
"You know she thinks you hate her," Sam said finally breaking the awkward silence between them.
"I don't hate her," Bucky grumbled.
"Yeah dummy, I know that," Sam sighed, "She doesn't."
"Well, I don't know what to do Sam," Bucky said tersely, "She woke up and all of a sudden I made her uncomfortable. She trusted me the first time, this time she thought I was there to kill her."
"A fair assumption based on her knowledge of your shared history," said Sam, "Besides, if I remember the story correctly, she didn't seem to trust anyone right away the first time. As I understand it, she's a lot better this time around. "
"Well, I haven't really been involved this time around," Bucky sighed, dropping his head back onto the head rest behind him.
"You're such an idiot," Sam said shaking his head, "You know she asks about you all the time?"
"What?" Bucky asked.
"Yeah, she thinks she's being subtle, but she isn't. She mostly just tries to figure out why you dislike her, but we can't tell her anything, so we kind of just say that you dislike everyone, except Steve," he explained.
Bucky opened the door of Sam's car and climbed out of it, leaving Sam alone in the back seat. He made his way into the compound and stood on the lower level, contemplating his next move.
"Friday," he said after a few moments, "Where is Caroline?"
"Caroline is currently in the sitting room, watching a film," the A.I. responded.
"Thanks," he said under his breath.
He got into the lift and pressed the button that would take him to the level that she was on. He found her exactly where Friday said she would be, in the sitting room, sprawled across the sofa, watching a movie he did not recognize. She glanced up at him briefly, then went back to watching her film. He let out a long, heavy sigh and moved in front of the television.
"I don't hate you," he said firmly.
"Okay," she replied, "Can you move? I'm kind of watching something."
"What is it?" he asked.
She paused the movie, looking up at him suspiciously.
"It's called When Harry Met Sally," she replied, "Do you want to watch?" she asked tentatively.
"With you?" Bucky asked.
"Well yes," she said looking around the room.
"No," he said quickly.
"You have something better to do?" she asked.
"Yes," he replied.
"Okay what the fuck Barnes?" she snapped, "You're the one who came in here talking about how you don't hate me, but you're still acting like a dick."
"I know, I'm sorry. I don't hate you. I wanted you to know that," he said awkwardly.
"What the fuck do you want from me Barnes? Do you want me to thank you for coming in here and telling me that you don't hate me? Because thanks, thank you for treating me like garbage but clearing up the fact that you don't actually hate me," she said furiously.
"I'm trying my best here," he sighed.
"Your best at what? I've been busting my ass trying to make sure I don't set you off, but I'm exhausted, it's exhausting. So what exactly are you trying your best at?" she fumed.
"Is that why you leave every room I walk into?" he asked.
"Well what the fuck did you think I was doing? I certainly wasn't doing it for my sake. It's not like I have any feelings towards you, good or bad," she said bitingly.
"Don't bother anymore Caroline, I'll stay out of your way from now on," he growled storming out of the room.
Caroline was so mad she couldn't even focus on her movie. She turned off the television and climbed the stairs up to Steve's office. He looked up as she burst through the door.
"Hi Caroline," he said casually.
She took a seat across from him and crossed her leg, her foot shaking furiously. He watched her, waiting patiently for her to talk.
"Your friend, your idiot best friend," she fumed, "Steve, what the fuck is his problem?" she asked finally.
"That is a loaded question," Steve said with a laugh.
"I'm just tired, I barely sleep, you all are kicking my ass in trainings, and I'm avoiding Barnes because he made it super clear that being around me brought back bad memories for him, but he's so difficult to figure out, and he's just so insufferable," she rambled.
"He said what now?" Steve asked.
"He alluded that being around me brought up things from Hydra that he wasn't ready to face yet and that it was difficult to be around me," she said, "So I've been trying to stay away from him. Then today he comes in trying to be nice, but in an instant he flipped and it's like whiplash. I don't know what his problem is with me and I have no way of knowing because no one tells me anything. You're all tiptoeing around me."
"Okay," Steve said opening up a drawer and pulling out a cellphone, "I wasn't supposed to give this to you, but I am mostly because I am sick of you only coming to me when you want to vent about Bucky. You and I used to be very close before all of this, and our friendship didn't revolve around him, I would love to get that back."
Caroline looked at him guiltily, and took the phone.
"It's your old phone, go through the pictures," he said curtly.
"Steve, I'm sorry," she said gently.
"Don't be, I know how difficult this is on you," he smiled, "Hopefully this sheds a little light for you."
"Thank you Steve," Caroline said standing. She looked down at the phone in her hand, then back up at him, "You said you weren't supposed to give me this, who didn't want you to give it to me?"
"Uh, Bucky did. He didn't want to confuse you," said Steve.
"It's a little late for that," Caroline said bitingly.
"I'll talk to you later Caroline," Steve laughed, shaking his head.
Caroline closed the door behind her and made her way to her room. She sat on her bed with the phone in her hand, completely unaware of what to expect as she turned it on. Doing exactly what Steve said and went straight to the pictures.
Half an hour later she stood at Bucky's bedroom door, pounding furiously, her heart racing. Bucky threw his door open and looked down at her, his face a mix of shock and anger. She blew past him, not letting the fact that he was very shirtless phase her.
"Sure, come into my room," he said crossing his arms across his chest.
"We weren't exactly friends?" she asked accusingly.
"What?" he replied.
"You said we weren't exactly friends," she said breathlessly, "We were best friends."
"Did Sam say something?" Bucky asked.
"No," she said throwing the phone at him.
He caught it with ease and clicked the screen on. She had a ton of candid photos of him, she had always been trying to catch him off guard. There was the one that she had made his contact photo amongst many others. More than that, there were pictures of the two of them together, pictures from their day in New York, even a couple from when they were in Wakanda.
He sighed and brought the phone down and held it at his side, then looked up at Caroline. She was glaring at him, tears in her eyes.
"Why would you keep this from me?" she asked.
"Steve shouldn't have given this to you," he said softly.
"You shouldn't have lied to me," she snapped.
"I didn't lie Caroline, I said it was complicated and it was. Now it's even more complicated, and if you keep pushing this I don't know if I'll ever be able to fix it," he said slowly.
"What do you want me to do then Barnes, what am I supposed to do?" she asked, her voice breaking.
"I don't know," he said.
She glared at him for a long time and he didn't stop her. He genuinely didn't know how to fix it, and he definitely didn't know what she could do to help.
Her face changed from anger to concern and she moved towards him slowly. She was looking at his bare chest, and it suddenly dawned on him that she was looking at his scars, the ones that she had left. She absentmindedly ran her fingers across the one up by his shoulder, then moved her hand down to the one on his stomach and brushed her thumb across it. If she noticed him shiver, she didn't let on. Instead she looked up at him confused.
"I left these," she said cocking her head.
"Yes," he nodded.
"Did I save your life?" she asked.
"Twice," he replied shortly.
He looked down at her. He wanted to kiss her more than he wanted anything else in the world. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and bring her close to him, but she hardly remembered him. She hardly remembered anything about what used to be 'them'. So he caught her hand in his and removed it from his stomach. He looked down at her harshly. She would keep coming back and he couldn't deal with it. No matter what Sam said, or how hard Steve tried, he wasn't ready, and he didn't know if he ever would be.
"Yeah, you saved my life twice," he said, "I almost died both times because of you, but I guess it kind of counts right? If you save someone from dying even though you were at fault."
"What?" she asked taking a step back.
"These scars here? They're from just before we had to fix your brain. You were supposed to kill me, but you couldn't do it, so our good friend Dr. Petrov shot me, twice. And the first time you saved me, I almost got struck by lightning because you were outside in a lightning storm and refused to come in," he said sharply, "So yeah you 'saved' me, but I wouldn't have been in those positions if it weren't for you in the first place."
She held her head in her hand, a pained expression on her face. They had pushed her too far today. First Steve, with the cell phone, and now Bucky with the memories.
"Caroline are you alright?" he asked taking a step towards her.
She held up her hand and he flew backwards.
"No, Barnes, you do not get to be horrible to me and then turn around and make sure I'm okay. You can't have it both ways," she hissed, "I'm sorry about your scars."
Bucky knew that he had gone too far and he regretted everything in that instant. He was speechless as he watched her storm out of his room, leaving him alone.