A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews, favorites and follows! I know last chapter was tough. If you didn't see in the note last time, chapter one occurs chronologically between chapter twenty and twenty one. So you might want to re-read that if you haven't.
Please let me know what you thought of chapter twenty one and be on the lookout for chapter twenty two soon!
June, 2000
Hermione was upset with herself that she'd still slept with Lucius the night before. When she'd left the house to go to the Ministry party it was with the express reasoning that she'd break it off. Somehow, his touch had ignited something in her and Hermione was a slave to her desires, unable to say no. In the harsh morning light, though, she realized what a terrible mistake she'd made and told him in no uncertain terms that he no longer had a part in her life.
By the time that Hermione got up from her bed, it was already past two p.m.. She couldn't remember ever staying in bed so long since after the battle. She'd slept for days when they were finally safe and Voldemort was defeated.
What did that say about her and Lucius's relationship, she wondered, that ending it with him had been so draining that she was as tired as she'd been fighting Voldemort? Hermione knew part of the reason she was so tired was because of how sad she was feeling. It had only been a few hours since she'd told him to go away, get out of her life, but she already missed him so much.
Still, Hermione knew that it was the right thing to do, no matter how much it hurt her now. This hurt would be temporary, whereas if she kept letting Lucius dictate her life, if she kept giving into his whims, she would only end up angry with herself. Someday soon, when she was more removed, she would be able to move on from him.
After she'd spent enough time feeling sorry for herself, Hermione pulled herself from bed, and hopped in the shower, washing all traces of her dalliance from her skin. She didn't get out until the water had gone cold. She then put on some jeans and a tshirt, deciding to get some takeaway.
On her way out the door to go get some pad thai from the place around the corner from her flat, she sent a quick note to Daphne asking for her to come over. The blonde girl had told her after all that she was there to talk when Hermione wanted to tell her the truth.
It was nice to get some fresh air, Hermione thought, carrying her food back. She hadn't realized quite how hungry she was until she was out and about. When she got back to her flat, Daphne was already waiting on her couch. "Decided to let yourself in then?" Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow at her friend.
"Well, you said come over as soon as I can." Daphne teased, before getting a good look at Hermione. "You've been crying. Is it Lucius?"
Daphne followed Hermione into the kitchen, where she divided her food into two bowl, giving Daphne one of them. "How are you Slytherins so perceptive? Is it taught in a class to use other people's own emotions against them?"
The blonde giggled for a moment, shaking her head. "No, you are just really easy to read. This is good." She'd taken a bite of the muggle food, unsure of what it was, but glad she'd taken a chance. She desperately wanted to know what had happened, but knew that she needed to give Hermione time to open up to her.
They sat on her couch in silence for a moment, before Hermione began speaking. "You are right. It's Lucius. I...I've been carrying on with him again." She revealed first, even though she was pretty sure that Daphne already knew that.
"How long has it been going on?" She asked, looking at Hermione seriously.
"Since the wedding." Hermione admitted. "But then...last night I ended for good. I just can't be in a relationship that isn't going anywhere. When he constantly lies to me about his relationship with Narcissa. I know it was the right move, but it just...it hurts so much."
Daphne's eyebrows were scrunched together while she considered Hermione's words. "Why does it hurt so much?" Maybe Daphne had completely misread Hermione's feelings about Lucius. Maybe Gryffindors weren't capable of having a casual affair.
"Because I love him." Hermione said quietly. "And he told me he loves me too, wants to be with me. But I know those are just empty words because...if he really loved me, he'd just divorce her, wouldn't he?" What Hermione really needed was confirmation that she'd made the right decision.
"Oh Hermione." Daphne said, wrapping her new friend in a tight hug. "You did what's best. And I know it hurts now, but it will get better. Do you know what you need?"
"What?" Hermione asked, hoping that Daphne wouldn't suggest another blind date.
"You need to get away for a few days. Take some vacation time." Daphne said. "Blaise has a great villa in Italy. I bet he'd rent it to you for just a few galleons a week."
"I don't know, Daphne, I don't want it to seem like I am running away from my problems. It would be unprofessional." Hermione said, putting her empty bowl on her coffee table.
Daphne gave her a smile. "You haven't had a vacation in over a year! And don't think of it as running away. You are just giving yourself a bit of space to come to terms with things." Seeing Hermione's skeptical look, Daphne laughed. "Promise me you'll just think about it?"
"Alright." Hermione promised. "Now let's talk about something else, because I don't want to think about Lucius for the rest of the night."
"Well, I heard that Pansy is pregnant, but it could just be a rumor!" Daphne said, going on about her former classmate, a girl who neither Hermione nor Daphne particularly cared for. "She's had to move up her wedding." The girls spent the rest of the night gossiping and for the first time all day, Hermione felt happy.
In the end, it only took Hermione one day to take up Daphne on her suggestion to get away for a while. Being in her apartment had too many memories of the blond man she was trying to detach from, and she needed to get away if she was going to separate herself from the man totally.
She'd penned a quick note to Blaise Zabini, who agreed to let her rent his villa in Naples for a week for a very reasonable price, as she was a friend of Daphne's. Also included in his reply was that he was being very generous and if she broke anything, or snooped around or left it in worse condition than she found it, he would come after her.
Hermione had giggled at his threats. Didn't he know that she was the responsible one?
Napoli had been gorgeous and hot, so she was glad to learn that his villa had beach access. Hermione spent most of her time out reading on the beach, getting a beautiful sun tan, and ignoring the attentions of some of the locals.
She loved exploring the city. There was so much history and the food had been delicious. It had been a long time since Hermione had traveled alone and it was nice not to be on anyone else's schedule for a change. She could do whatever she wanted, not worrying about boring her traveling companion with her academic pursuits.
It had been a good idea for her to get away, Hermione decided finally, as each day the ache in her heart got a little bit less and less. She knew it would take time for her to be completely over him, and that it might take months or even a year, but she was confident that when she returned to London, she would be able to remain firm, even under the sway of Lucius's attentions.
Sighing, Hermione couldn't believe that it was already time to return to her lonely apartment. She spent an extra long time cleaning the villa before she left, wanting Blaise to eat his words about her leaving the villa in any less condition than she found it. But when she couldn't wait any longer, she grabbed onto her portkey and headed home.
July, 2000
When she returned to her flat, Hermione had expected to be filled with a new sense of purpose, but she was disappointed to learn that memories of Lucius still lingered. Shaking her head, Hermione knew that they wouldn't disappear in one week.
Unpacking her laundry, Hermione noticed her emerald necklace sitting on her dresser. Knowing that it was a step in the right direction, she wrapped up the necklace and the diamond earrings before sending them off with an owl, back to Lucius. It wasn't right for her to keep them, and while she had them, it was just another thing that tied her to him.
Watching the owl fly away upset her much more than she would have expected, and she found herself angrily wiping tears from her cheeks. She needed a drink.
Making her way to the pub two blocks from her flat, Hermione ordered a firewhiskey and enjoyed the burn of the drink down her throat. She wasn't she how long she sat there, wallowing in self pity, until she was startled by someone sitting in the seat next to her. The flash of white blond hair had her heart speeding up, only to be annoyed to see that it was only Draco. "Granger."
"Aren't you supposed to be on a honeymoon, or something like that?" She snapped at him, not up for any company, but certainly not up for talking to the son of the man she'd had an affair with.
"I've been back for a month." He said with a smirk on his face, before getting down to brass tacks. "You know why I'm here, I take it? To talk about my father." He indicated to the bartender to bring them both another firewhiskey, which Hermione was grateful for.
"How long have you known?" Hermione asked, a bit viciously. She wondered what Draco thought about his father sullying himself with the former classmate he tormented for six years.
"I've had my suspicions since Christmas, but I wasn't positive until my wedding." He revealed. Hermione sucked in a deep breath. She hadn't realized that they'd been so obvious, and now she was feeling a bit mortified.
"I'd rather not talk about Lucius right now." Hermione said. "Least of all with you."
"Look, do you think that I want to talk to you about it?" Draco snapped back at her, running his hand through his shorter hair. "He's upset. Won't eat hardly at all. He hasn't been sleeping well either. And look at you...just get back from vacation?"
Hermione finally turned her chair to face him. "Look, I wasn't the bad guy in this relationship, Malfoy. Your father knows what he did wrong, so don't try to guilt me into feeling bad for him. I am trying to move on with my life."
"Listen, Granger. I know this is going to sound...well, insane, but for some reason, my father loves you and it's killing him that you are apart." Draco said, clearly uncomfortable to be having this conversation with her.
Hermione just scoffed. "Well, he has a funny way of showing it." She wondered if this meant that Draco knew about his parents relationship, and it there was any truth to what Lucius had said. She could feel the seeds of hope forming in her chest.
Draco was getting angry. "Look, do you honestly think that I would be here if he didn't?" He demanded, needing her to see reason. "Do you think that I want to be here having this conversation with you?"
"I don't know what you want me to do Malfoy!" Hermione said, trying to keep a handle on her voice, not wanting her business to be spread about. "I refuse to just be a mistress to your father. I want a real relationship, not some secretive, fucking in offices affair." She could feel bitter tears forming in her eyes.
She say Draco wince at her words. So, perhaps he knew about the affair, but he hadn't quite confronted the images in his head yet. "My parents' marriage hasn't been real for as long as I can remember. They can barely stand each other. He was happy with you."
Hermione closed her eyes, trying to hold in her anger. What was in with Malfoy men completely disregarding her happiness? "Draco." Hermione said seriously, trying to make her point crystal clear. "Your father has broken a few too many promises with me. He can't give me what I want. I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out, and I am trying to move on."
She dug in her pocket for some change, leaving enough galleons for both her and Draco's drinks, before turning and leaving for her flat. She'd worked so hard to squash any dreams or hopes about Lucius, but Draco had rekindled it.