a/n: Warning for suicidal themes. And for clarity's sake, yes, we are back to Glinda's POV :)

Chapter 21

Galinda woke, as was usual now, to an empty bed. She brushed her hair and her teeth and washed her face. She got dressed in Elphaba's childhood bedroom, barely touched by morning light. It was six forty-five. She went down to the kitchen to put on porridge and cut up fruit. Elphaba had attempted to stop her making breakfast, but it was one of the few ways Galinda could actually contribute comfortably, so she would have none of it.

On her way she passed Frex's room. The door was closed. Galinda felt strange walking past it. That room was like a temple for a god she didn't worship but had to walk through anyway. She had yet to step into the room, in fact. She couldn't think what she would do in there.

There was a window above the sinks in the kitchen that looked out across the courtyard. As Galinda sliced strawberries she saw Elphaba coming back from her morning exercise through these windows. She loved to watch how Elphaba moved right after a workout. There was a fluidity, a delicious presence in her shoulders and long, striding legs. Galinda almost cut her thumb.

Galinda served Elphaba's breakfast; Frex, Nessa and Bett wouldn't be awake. She didn't bother cooking for Shell anymore. He woke just before lunch and was a spectacularly picky eater, usually defaulting to cereal or instant ramen with hotdogs and egg. She was a bit disgusted, but it was an affectionate disgust she thought siblings must feel frequently.

She carried the tray up to Frex's room, where Elphaba would be settling into the armchair in the corner of the room with a book and a cup of tea. She came to the doorway and smiled at the chair reflexively, but it was empty. Rather, Elphaba was standing at Frex's bedside. "Elphie?"

Elphaba looked at Galinda, and drew her hands back to her sides. They had been, Galinda realised, at Frex's chest. "I think he's dead," Elphaba intoned. Both of them looked at Frex, completely at a loss of what to say.

"Should we call a doctor?" Galinda asked.

Elphaba shook her head. She began lowering the bed. "I didn't get to discuss his will with him. Or what he wanted his funeral to be like." Elphaba said these things distractedly, as if they were an annoyance.

Galinda put the tray down, and put her hand over Elphaba's on the bed controls. "Sit down and eat your breakfast," she said gently. "I'll... call his doctor. Then google exactly how all this works."

"No. I know how this works." She drew her hands from Galinda's and stared at the ground, then at Nessa, still asleep. She looked back at Galinda. "I remember from my mother."

"Oh."

"At least Nessa's still asleep," Elphaba said, pressing her hand to her mouth. "The next nurse will be here in ten minutes or so, there's no point in calling a doctor who will take longer to get here. I think they're a hospice nurse." Elphaba took a deep breath, rubbing at her arm. "I need to find the will. Right." She began to leave, then stepped back into the room. "Come get me the second Nessa wakes up. And tell the nurse to be quiet."

"Okay."

Elphaba hesitated again. "And, if he moves…" Her eyebrows drew together, and she went off.

The nurse arrived about ten minutes later, as Elphaba had predicted. His eyebrows rose to see Galinda in the room. She stood. "Hi, I'm Elphaba's partner…"

"Oh!" He laughed, and Galinda pressed a finger to her lips. He went quiet, puzzled. Galinda glanced at Nessa.

"Don't want to wake her."

"Ah."

Galinda stepped closer to him. "Um, I'm afraid…" Galinda wrung her hands. How to do this? "We suspect Frex has passed."

The nurse opened his mouth, then nodded, and moved around to the other side of Frex's bed. He pressed his hand to Frex's neck, listened to his chest with a stethoscope, placed a small mirror-like tool beneath Frex's nose, and shone a light in his eyes. He looked at his watch. "Time of death, seven thirty-two," he said quietly. He looked up at Galinda. "Where is Elphaba Thropp?"

"They're looking for the will."

He made a face, nodded. "Moves fast. Elphaba doesn't need to look for the will, the hospital has all that on record. Frex set it up that way. It's all part of the care package, financial distribution, property distribution… I'll have to fill out some forms for you, get a death certificate made." He looked at Frex. "Do you think Elphaba would want the body moved?"

"I have no idea," Galinda admitted. The nurse smiled.

"It's okay, there's no big rush. Families need time to react to these things." He 'ah'-ed and looked at Galinda as if he'd forgotten something. "I apologise, were you close to the deceased?"

"Oh no," Galinda said quickly, embarrassed. "I just met him a few weeks ago."

The nurse nodded slowly. "It's a confusing place to be in, isn't it?"

"Yes," Galinda said. She didn't really want to talk to this man. He picked up on that and cleared his throat.

"Well. Tell Elphaba I'll have the death certificate and the hospital's care package sent within the week. It'll have directions on what to do next, sources for funeral homes, grief counselling. The hospital is also legally required to perform an autopsy if the family so wishes."

Galinda glanced at Frex. She shrugged her shoulders. "I think we all know how he died."

"Sometimes bodies surprise you."

"I'll mention it to Elphaba."

"Thank you," he said with a smile. "I'll leave you to it." He went off with a polite wave. Galinda watched him leave, then peered at Nessa, trying to tell how deeply asleep she was. Her eyes weren't moving beneath her lids, so Galinda figured she would be out for a while. She went to find Elphaba.

Galinda found her in Frex's study, surrounded by files and boxes of files, and a million pieces of paper. Elphaba was staring intently at whatever was in her hand, then suddenly put it aside and took up another, reading just as intently.

"Knock knock," Galinda said softly. Elphaba jumped, looked at her wide eyed. Galinda smiled fondly. "The hospital has the will. You don't need to look for it."

"Oh." Elphaba glanced at the mess of papers and files around her. She cleared her throat and began gathering all of them into stacks.

"Leave them for now."

"Nonsense. Death is no excuse for sloppiness." Elphaba glanced at her. "Ah, there's something I wanted to ask you about." Galinda, knowing Elphaba well, detected a kind of anxiety in her voice. "It's about something I found next to the body."

Galinda frowned, concerned at her phrasing. Elphaba was about to go on until they both heard a door opening upstairs. Elphaba looked at Galinda, and leapt to her feet, rushing out the door. Elphaba peered up. "It's Nessa," she said softly. "She mustn't have noticed yet." Elphaba glanced back at Galinda. "Come on."

They went up to the room, calmer than they felt. Galinda didn't know what she was feeling. This wasn't her tragedy. But she had developed a great affection for the siblings as a unit, and was anxious about how all this would hit them. Nessa and Shell were so young.

Galinda had lost her parents - in a way - at the age of twenty, and that had been a profoundly scary experience. She was lucky she'd had a home and good friends and Elphaba at the time, because she had never felt that alone. Shell was fifteen. His feelings about Frex were choppy from what she'd gleaned, but he at least had a house, financial support, health care and a guardian as it was. Nessa, at the mercy of the government to provide the assistance she'd need, was just as vulnerable.

More presently, and perhaps more importantly, Nessa would be devastated. Galinda wished she could help Elphaba help Nessa through this. Galinda simply wasn't that close to Nessa.

Nessa appeared suddenly in their path, emerging from one of the many bathrooms scattered around the house. Nessa blinked at them. "Morning," she murmured sleepily. She frowned. "Elphie?"

Elphaba's broad shoulders were a tense line, her hands clenched. She went forward to Nessa, touched her waist, murmuring to her. They went into one of the rooms off of the hallway. Not Frex's room.

Galinda glanced over the house, wondering what to do now. She heard a cry from within the room, and quickly made her way downstairs.

Galinda had been drawing an awful lot since she'd got here, having had the forethought to pack a reasonable bundle of tools. Losing her job was definitely a blow, but she'd at least done a ton of work for her folio. Galinda settled at Elphaba's desk and resumed a drawing she'd had in progress the last week or so.

This wealth of time was a strangely nostalgic experience. She was not a hard worker, but living in Shiz she'd always kept herself in motion. To sit in a quiet room alone, reading or drawing or thinking was more reminiscent of her childhood. Young Gillikin girls were given friends by the age of three, and their mothers would go to extraordinary lengths to ensure those friendships blossomed. But of course, Galinda hadn't been a girl to her mother then. She had been taken beneath her father's wing.

To Reginald, a stoic boy had been just fine. So Galinda had not had friends. At least she could draw.

Galinda got a text from Elphaba around lunch time.

(*°∀°)=3: Nessa took it hard. Obviously. Gonna be with her a while. Wouldnt suggest you come in. shes feeling a lot of things.

Galinda: i understand :) spend the day with her. hope youre okay

(*°∀°)=3: Thanks. Im fine.

Galinda grimaced at her phone and placed it on the table, worrying for Elphaba silently.

She was visited by Shell some hours later. He must have just woken up; he was in his boxers and a tank top, his hair a frizzy mess of curls. He looked mildly distressed. "I looked in dad's room."

Galinda leaned against the door. "Were Elphie and Nessa in there?"

"Yes." Shell crossed his arms, glancing at his feet. "Is Frex dead?"

Galinda hesitated, then sighed, and moved to let Shell in. He sat on Elphaba's bed, raking his hands through his hair. Galinda sat beside him. "Elphaba and I found him this morning."

Shell nodded his head. "Had to happen sometime," he murmured.

"How are you feeling?"

"Not much yet." Galinda could see he was hesitating on something. "Um, when I peeked into the room, Elphaba looked at me, and she gave me this smile like… 'How crazy is this'? And I smiled back. And I can't really believe he's dead." He blinked. "Nothing's different yet, I guess. It doesn't change anything for me."

"You don't think you'll miss him?"

"Maybe later," Shell mumbled. He rubbed at his hair and brow, scowling. "Ugh, I just… feel guilty, for not feeling more. And weird. It's weird that I'm not sad. But I'm just not."

"You're not meant to feel any particular way, Shell. You feel how you feel."

"Yeah, but it says something about me, doesn't it?"

"Not really. In this case, I think it says more about Frex."

"...True." He smiled finally, if a bit sadly. "Thanks Galinda."

Galinda wrapped an arm around his shoulders, squeezing him gently. "No problem Shell." He leaned his head on her shoulder.

Shell cleared his throat. "So uh… what are your parents like?"

Galinda felt her face closing like the shutters being pulled down on a window. Her hand dropped from Shell's back, and she folded them over her stomach instead. "I haven't seen them in a while."

"Live far out?" Shell asked. "Or, um, just staying away like Elphie did?"

Galinda gave Shell a tight smile. "They disowned me, actually."

"Oh. Ah, shit." Galinda laughed a bit as Shell became incredibly awkward. "I'm really sorry. I had no idea…"

"It's okay," Galinda said with a smile. "It was recent, so I'm a bit sore over it, but I'm okay."

"Can I ask what happened?"

Galinda considered disclosing to Shell. She decided there was no point; he didn't need to know that, and it wasn't even really the answer to his question. "They didn't like that I was interested in women."

"Ah." Shell arched a brow. "Bet the green skin didn't help."

Galinda found that comment callous, but understood he didn't mean any malice with it. "Elphie and I weren't together at the time, actually."

"Whoa. Really?"

"Really. We were close, though," Galinda recalled fondly. "That was kind of the tipping point, the night my parents cut off. Elphie took care of me. Kept me stable." Galinda looked at Shell. "You're really lucky to be Elphie's family, you know."

Shell frowned gently. He looked down at his hands. "Yeah, you're right," he said quietly. "Though I only just realised it this week."

Galinda patted his arm. "Don't worry. It took me months to even admit I was attracted to them."

Shell snickered. He glanced at Galinda very briefly. "Well, I am kind of shocked you're dating her. You're like, way out of Elphie's league."

Galinda had found herself taking insults to Elphaba personally. Even so indirect it was a frustrating experience. People didn't seem to realise how regularly they implied that Elphaba was somehow lesser. Galinda liked Shell, so it angered her all the more to hear that sentiment from him. "They're the one out of my league."

Perhaps she'd been a bit too cold. Shell looked distressed. There was a stretch of silence. "I'm really glad you're with Elphie," he said out of nowhere. Galinda peered down at him. He blushed and looked away. "Cause I got to meet you and stuff. I'm glad."

Galinda couldn't help smiling. He was such an honest kid. She ruffled his hair. "Yeah, I love you too Shell."

Elphaba finally reappeared at ten at night, her hair freshly washed, smelling of white tea and lime. She ran her hands over Galinda's shoulders, kissing the top of her head and resting her cheek there. She sighed with exhaustion. "Nessa's asleep."

"How is she?"

"Not good." Galinda stood from the desk as Elphaba sat on her bed, dropping her face into her hands. "She's taking this even harder than I thought. She's scared. She's alone," Elphaba said weakly, like that was her failure. "She's never experienced that."

"She'll pull through this," Galinda said, running a hand over Elphaba's head. Elphaba closed her eyes at the feeling. "Time heals these things."

"To a point," Elphaba murmured.

Galinda looked at her hand, woven through Elphaba's hair. "To a point." She sat beside Elphaba, who immediately moved onto her side to put her head on Galinda's lap. There was a snapping from beneath them. Elphaba leaned back, peering down at her lap.

"Ah, right. I forgot I had this." Elphaba jammed her hand in her pocket. She pulled out a now cracked medicine bottle and handed it to Galinda. "I was going to mention it this morning. I found that by my father's bed."

"Morphine?" Elphaba nodded. Galinda looked at the bottle. "He was taking these daily, right?"

"Yes."

Galinda looked between the bottle and Elphaba. "So…"

Elphaba leaned forward with her hand on her mouth. "That was just opened a few days ago."

It was empty. "Oh." Elphaba was staring at her feet. Galinda put the bottle in Elphaba's hand. "You think..."

"I don't know." Elphaba shook her head. "It doesn't make sense. With his beliefs. But, they were shaken…" She wavered.

"Right." Galinda paused. "The hospital offers a free autopsy, you know. They have to legally."

Elphaba inhaled, and shook her head. "No," she muttered, "no, that's… not a good idea. I don't want to know."

"You don't?"

"No. Because what if he did?" They let this hang in the air, neither knowing what to say.

They sat up in bed with their laptops, as was their ritual. Galinda had messages from Crope and Fiyero on skype. They'd probably be in bed by now, but she shot them responses anyway.

"I got another email from Turtle Heart," Elphaba said.

Galinda had never seen the particular kind of excitement that came over Elphaba when Turtle Heart contacted her. It didn't look that much like excitement, more like restlessness, but Galinda thought it must be the same thing. "Good letter?"

"Yes," Elphaba murmured back distractedly. "He invited us to Quadling Country."

"Really? When?"

"In about a month."

"Do you want to go?"

"I'm surprised you're even asking."

"True," Galinda said with a smile. "I've always wanted to visit."

Elphaba hummed as she typed her response to Turtle Heart. "It's a beautiful place."

"Elphie?"

"Mm?"

"Do Nessa and Shell know about Turtle Heart's relationship with your parents?"

Elphaba stopped, looking at Galinda slowly. "I… haven't got around to telling them yet." Galinda winced sympathetically as Elphaba rubbed at her eyes, sighing exhaustedly. "I think I blanked that from my mind and hoped it would just disappear."

Galinda found Elphaba's thigh over the sheets. "Don't worry. Shell won't be upset, and considering how he is with us I doubt he'll find it disturbing."

"I have no concern for Shell's reaction," Elphaba muttered. "Nessa on the other hand…"

Galinda stroked Elphaba's leg distractedly. "Yeah, she's going to be tougher."

Elphaba lay her hand over Galinda's. Galinda peered up at her, surprised. "How do you think I should handle this?" Elphaba asked. Nothing delighted Galinda more than when Elphaba asked for her opinion on something. She rewarded Elphaba with a kiss on the cheek, and then focused on the problem posed.

"It's all about timing. The worst time you could do it is close to the funeral. This could potentially shatter her image of your father and she should be given the time to process that information before the funeral, or before she's confronted with Turtle Heart himself."

"So… Sooner the better?"

Galinda shrugged. "Maybe. Depends when the funeral is."

She wasn't thrilled with that response. "Alright. I'm meeting with the funeral home tomorrow to set a date. Do you think two weeks will be okay?"

"It'd do I think." Elphaba nodded grimly. Galinda turned her hand so their palms were pressed together, their fingers folded over each other. She held Elphaba's eye. "You can do this, Elphie."

Elphaba looked away. "I hope so."

Galinda woke up in Elphaba's arms. It was a rare and beautiful experience. To see Elphaba's face relaxed and touched with morning light so up close suffused Galinda with warmth from her chest to every part of her. Galinda could no longer fathom seeing Elphaba as anything less than perfect. Her chiseled jaw, her arched lips, her nose - her nose! - so gloriously Elphaba. The blessed hue of her skin. Elphaba was one in six billion. She was historically incredible, a blip in the universe. How could she be considered anything less than miraculous? Galinda traced her fingers over Elphaba's lips, and kissed her softly, desperate not to wake her. She didn't.

Elphaba didn't wake until almost an hour and a half later, in fact. She was grimacing immediately, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her palm. "God, what time is it?"

"Eight."

Elphaba went about getting dressed. "Eight? What?" She threw open her dresser. "You didn't wake me up?"

"You didn't ask me to." Galinda watched Elphaba wrestle a brush through her hair. "You looked so peaceful."

Elphaba grumbled a bit. "At least I had a shower last night. I'm meeting with someone from White Roses at nine thirty."

"Is that the funeral home?"

"Yes." Elphaba yanked a pair of jeans up around her hips. "They're on other side of the city, so I'm afraid I have to go-" she peered at the clock on her bedside table, "- now." She pulled on a shirt and her socks and shoes, and kissed Galinda goodbye quickly, rushing out the door. Galinda hoped she picked up some food on the way there.

When Elphaba got back, she asked Shell and Nessa to meet her in the parlour with a certain stoicism that Galinda had not seen on Elphaba in months. Galinda thought Elphaba would be more nervous about the whole deal, but she seemed calm. Galinda stood just outside the room as Elphaba delivered the news. Shell said it made sense as if pieces of some puzzle had fallen into place. Nessa, of course, was in complete disbelief.

"Did you know about that?" Nessa asked later that day. They were in the kitchen, Galinda having offered to make Nessa tea. "Turtle Heart and… all of it."

Galinda peered at Nessa. "I did. Elphaba told me. I saw Turtle Heart at a seminar at the start of the year, in fact."

Nessa was frowning. "A seminar?"

"Yes, a seminar about spellcraft. He was one of the panelists."

Nessa had fallen quiet. She did not speak until Galinda had laid out the tea and sat down. "So he's a practitioner of magic," Nessa said stiffly, "and so are you, I suppose."

Galinda did not know how to respond to that. Thropps seemed to value honesty, and she suspected Nessa was the same when it came down to it. "I am. I know your father was not particularly-"

"My father's beliefs are not my own. My father is-" she closed her eyes, "- was, delusional. His mind was clouded by paranoia and grief."

"Sorry, I… didn't mean for it to sound that way."

Nessa's mind was elsewhere now. "My father slept with some peddler of spells. It's hard to imagine someone like him doing that… being that kind of person."

Galinda considered Nessa carefully. She didn't really understand how the mind of the religious worked; she understood why people were wary of magic, but the disgust toward magic users themselves always eluded her. Was it something to do with sin? Just a malformation of mistrust? Nessa seemed quite intelligent, though. Galinda gave up the thought. "Well, perhaps that kind of person isn't what you expect."

Nessa glanced at Galinda, and tilted her head. "My father had a relationship with a foreign magic user, and now here are you and Elphie. How interesting."

Galinda couldn't quite tell if that was a positive or negative assessment, but defaulted to negative. Nessa was relentlessly passive aggressive. More so with Galinda, of course. "Maybe it runs in the family."

"I certainly hope not," Nessa muttered. Galinda was about to respond before Elphaba came into the room and spotted Galinda.

"Ah, there you are. Shell has requested pizza for dinner. Nobody really feels like cooking. I was wondering if you'd like anything in particular?"

"I'm good with pizza," Galinda said with a smile.

"How about you, Nessie?"

Nessa stared down at her teacup. "I don't care about dinner," she said, void of emotion.

"I can get cabbage over rice from that Quadling place-"

"No thank you."

Elphaba stood at the door and stared at her. "Nessa, just tell me what you'd like."

"I'm not hungry," Nessa snapped, glaring at her lap.

Elphaba worked her jaw. "I'm trying my best." Nessa looked up at Elphaba as she stormed out of the kitchen. Galinda felt bolted in place. She glanced from the door to a wide eyed Bett, then to pale-faced Nessa.

"Um-"

"Please leave me alone," Nessa said tremulously. Galinda murmured something and went off outside to find Elphaba, but she'd already driven off. She came back three hours later with cold pizza and a serving of cabbage over rice, and went straight to bed.

Elphaba remained consistently stoic for the rest of the week. Galinda felt there was some distance created between them, a line that had been drawn. Elphaba had stepped beyond it and Galinda couldn't follow her. She had woken up with Elphaba by her side every morning. It was so unusual it was concerning to Galinda, no matter how pleasant an experience it was. Elphaba was sleeping thirteen hours a night.

On top of that, the tension between Elphaba and Nessa put Galinda incredibly on edge. She felt as if she tiptoed around conversation, avoided certain rooms and paths, the sudden flares of anger between them. Their arguments had a pattern. Elphaba tried to appeal to Nessa. Nessa had none of it. Elphaba stormed off. Nessa was hurt. The crux of the issues, to Galinda, was Nessa's hang ups about her father. Galinda was a bit biased.

They bought the family appropriately dark and formal clothing for the funeral, which was fast approaching. Bett had told them to keep them for the day itself, so they'd had to scrounge for the wake. Elphaba and Shell had got away with old dress shirts and black slacks. Galinda didn't really do dark, modest clothing, so she'd had to borrow from Bett. Nessa had dark and modest covered.

The wake involved a lot of people Galinda didn't know, and a lot of looks she didn't enjoy receiving. Elphaba informed her that most of the attendees were members of Frex's past congregations, as well as some extremely distant relatives. Galinda introduced herself as Elphaba's partner and let them take that however they wanted. Neither Elphie nor her had the energy for explaining.

Galinda experienced a strange swell of emotion as she passed Frex's body. It made her think, quite selfishly, of her own father. She could not imagine him dead. He had always been so full of vitality. He was her childhood.

Her father had filled her youth with lessons. He had taught Galinda to tie knots, make fires, fly fish, box. He had bought her martial arts lessons and fencing lessons and riding lessons. Galinda hadn't caught on to any of these activities except hunting. But for her father's class hunting culture was more about everything around hunting; the cabin, the silence, the solitude.

Her father had given her other gifts. He had taught her how to drive at ten, how to deal with a broken down car, how to make a compass, and a hundred other practicalities. She had wanted to forget all these things once she was finally living as herself out of spite. She'd come to realise, albeit bitterly, how useful those lessons were.

Thinking about her parents made her sad and angry and guilty all at once. They had cut her off for the worst reasons, and to her that final a separation had felt almost like their death. It felt now incredibly insensitive, mourning her living parents while this family had watched theirs die one after the other. It made her feel foolish for never trying to contact them. But it was perfectly justified, she knew that. If only she believed it.

The funeral was the day after. Galinda had to persuade Elphaba into the bathroom to wash her hair and scrub her clean. She worried that she'd had to persuade her at all. Elphaba stood in front of the mirror in her suit, Galinda just beyond her shoulder. Galinda had experienced a startling lack of fun helping Elphaba pick it out. She ran her hands over the angular shoulders of the jacket, pulled at the bottom so the lapels sat right. Their eyes met in the mirror. Galinda smiled softly. "It fits you."

Elphaba turned around, her hands coming to Galinda's waist. She looked at Galinda strangely. "The dress looks nice on you." Elphaba hadn't even looked at the dress. Galinda held Elphaba's face in her hands and kissed her brow, and brought Elphaba's head to rest on her shoulder. Elphaba exhaled against her neck.

"Are you okay, Elphie?" She asked this quietly and with weight.

Elphaba leaned out of her arms. She got the hair tie around her wrist and pulled her hair into a tight little bun. "I'm just fine," she said. She opened the door for them. "Let's go bury my dad."