Chapter 21 Piling up

"Ok...Where do I go from here?" I asked myself the next morning as I sat at the kitchen table with the back door open and a cool morning breeze was blowing into the house while I looked down at my hands that were clutching two two things. My right hand held my cell phone open, ready to be dialed where as the phone number in question, was on a slip of paper in my other hand. Molly's number.

I had woken up not that long ago with the sudden and random thought that perhaps I should give Molly a call and see what would come of it should I decide to make contact. I hadn't thought about what I wanted to do about our undefined relationship and I hadn't gone to bed last night thinking about it in any capacity. It wasn't until I woke up that I realized I had this idea in mind and when I was getting dressed, it dawned on me why I had suddenly decided to do this. After what happened last night with Godric and Louie at the bar, it had put me in a foul mood long after I had returned home and went to bed. I had fallen asleep with Godric's face in my mind, yelling at me and calling me a brat. I knew he didn't mean it, he had only done it because he had unresolved issues with Louie and must have felt threatened when Louie wormed his way into Godric's life by becoming my friend. And somehow this morning, that tied into my desire to call Molly and at least speak to her. I didn't want to end up like Godric and wind up yelling at Molly whenever we crossed paths just because there was so much time between us and we never got over our problems. Kind of like Godric's situation with Louie. I didn't want to be like that, I didn't want to pretend to be one way, but underneath hide away all the rage and hatred I felt. That wasn't me and I wasn't going to let it be.

Hence why I was sitting here contemplating my next move.

I looked at the number and before I could talk myself out of it, I quickly dialed the number and hit send. As I was hearing the phone ring, I had to put every ounce of strength in me to not hang up or even clam up when she finally answered. I didn't even allow myself to think ahead too much about what I would say, because if I obsessed about it then I would panic and stop this before it could begin. And I didn't want to end up running away from this. It wasn't going to be easy, but maybe it would be more worth while because it was tough for me. I barely had a chance to let that seep in before I heard a voice take place over the ringing.

"Hello?" It was her, Molly. My birth mother was on the other end of the line and I was almost at a standstill as to how to even respond. "Hello? Who is this?"

"It's...it's Allison." I managed to get out, hating that my voice shook and sounded younger then I actually was, but at least I was able to say something. "Um, I just..uh..I was..."

"I'm glad you called." She cut in, probably sensing how nervous I was and was trying to spare me the humiliation of having to listen to myself stutter for far longer then I should have. "I was hoping to hear from you. I just didn't think it would be this soon."

"I didn't either, but I woke up a little while ago and I just felt like I wanted to call you." I was twisting my hair around my fingers, wondering if she was doing the same thing even though she didn't sound nervous at all. "Look um, I know I kind of alluded to you that I didn't want to have anything to do with you but I think that was premature on my part. I don't know what I..."

"I get the sense that this is going to turn into a serious conversation and that kind of thing shouldn't be done over the phone." She told me, having the same reaction that I would have had. It was weird to pick apart the traits that I saw in myself and then heard on someone else. "If you like, why don't we meet up at the cafe in Shreveport sometime today and we can talk over coffee."

"I think that sounds ok enough." I agreed, feeling like I could handle something casual like that. "Is 4:30 ok for you?"

"That's perfect, see you then." And then as quickly as the call began, it ended and I was left with a dial tone in my ear before my hand fell down to the table with my phone still clutched in my fingers.

I was actually going to do this. I was going to meet my birth mother later today and God only knows what would happen. I mean, the last time I saw her, I was pumped full of all kinds of crazy information. And it was so much to take in that I couldn't imagine hearing anything more. But it was very possible that there was more to know. And I just set myself up for a more then likely disaster. Who knew what I was going to find out next. But I couldn't back out and act like a child. I had done that more then perfectly when I met her and I did not want a repeat performance. So I set my phone down and rubbed a hand down my face and groaned.

"What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

Late that afternoon

"Once again, what have I gotten myself into?" I asked myself quietly as I passed through the shiny glass door of the cafe in downtown Shreveport and entered the main room of cleared tabletops and almost completely empty booths and paused to gather myself before I looked around in earnest.

When I had hung up that phone this morning, I expected time to drag by slowly. I expected it to be agonizing and drawn out to make this moment more awkward then it had to be. I thought that no matter what I did today, time was just going to be going at a snail's pace. But I was very very wrong. Time flew by much quicker then I was ready for and before I knew it, I was scribbling a note to Eric about where I would be if I wasn't home by the time he woke up, and I was out the door and into the car. I was surprised I was able to drive the short distance into without pulling over and having a panic attack, but I did it as if I was merely going to meet my cousin for coffee instead of the woman who had turned my world upside down. I had pulled into the parking lot and then as soon as the car was off, I had sat there for a few minutes, not even with any thought going through my head. And then like a robot, I had gotten out and made my way inside without even consciously thinking about it.

And now here I was, my arms wrapped around my self as I stood in a cafe with late afternoon sun rays streaming through the windows as my eyes were drawn to a booth in the back where all I could see was a brunette head. But I knew it was her. Somehow, every fiber in my body knew it was her and that's what gave me the strength to move my feet in that direction. As I neared the booth, my heart began pounding so fast and loud that I was sure it would give away my presence before my footsteps did. But she didn't even notice I had appeared until I slid onto the cushioned bench across from her, and when she looked up, I was startled by just how much our eyes resembled each other.

"Allison! I was wondering just now if you were actually going to show up." Molly said,her eyebrows raising up slightly in nervousness as I shrugged out of my jacket and set it off to the side of me as she poured me a cup of coffee from the pot on the table and slid it over to me. I smiled gratefully at her, taking the mug just as she started talking. "I was getting nervous about whether this was a good idea and I even considered getting up and leaving. But I didn't want you to show up and not have me here. So I stayed."

"I didn't get nervous until I walked through the door." I admitted, stirring in some creamer and a few packets of sugar into my cup and stirring it before I looked up at her expectant face and sighed. "Look, before we start trying to get to know each other. I really ought to apologize for how I spoke to you the other night."

"Allison, it's really not necessary..." She began to say but I had to cut her off because if I didn't say this then I would feel too bad to sit here and continue.

"No really, I have to apologize. I was so incredibly rude to you near the end of the night and it makes me ashamed to think of what I said." I shook my head as my words came back to me and I almost cringed as I practically saw it playing out before me again. That wasn't me. I wasn't that rude girl and I didn't want her to think I was. Now that I had a moment to breathe, I could center my thoughts and think like I normally could. "I just get like that sometimes when I'm taken by surprise and I don't always have the best manners. So don't take it personally."

"Trust me, I am the same way so it is alright." She said, smiling probably a little too brightly to overcompensate for the awkwardness but I was happy for her efforts. She was clearly trying to make this easier on us both. "Besides, it's partially my fault for overwhelming you with so much information. I should have spread it out more."

"Still, I want to say I'm sorry. I was just thinking about what my Gran would say if she had been here to see me act like that and she would have been so disappointed and ashamed of my rudeness. She raised me better then that." I felt my shoulders sink in guilt at the thought of my kind grandmother and what she would have said about my behavior. She would have told me that even when dealing with strangers, I should have acted with grace and decorum. And I certainly hadn't done that. "Just accept my apology, please."

"It's all in the past." She waved her hand in the air before wrapping her fingers around her coffee mug and saying. "Let's just focus on the present and the future and what we expect to get out of this meeting."

"Well, I guess I was curious to see what you thought would come of this." I stated after taking a sip of coffee and twirled my hair with my free hand. "Where would we go from here and is it even possible to do now that so much time has passed."

"If we're being honest then I will say directly what is on my mind. In my perfect world, we would become the best of friends before moving into the realm where we had no problem calling each other mother and daughter. But those are precious words and I know neither of us are comfortable using them just yet. So I'm not naïve. I know it may never get to that point, but that's what I hope." She wasn't lying when she said honestly whatever was on her mind. It did sound exactly what a mother would say to her long lost daughter. But she was right that it didn't feel comfortable just yet and it was going to take time before we would get to that point. "But in reality, we need to just take it day by day and see what happens. We can't rush it or it won't be right. If we're meant to have a relationship then it will happen naturally."

"Maybe you're right, maybe we should take it slow and just take whatever comes." I smiled at this idea because it was exactly up my alley. I didn't always take too well to strangers in certain situations and with the way she and I met, it was very overwhelming. So to be able to slow it down and go at the opposite pace was better for the both of us. "Ok, we're still going to want to learn about each other and you told me a lot about you that first night. So I guess its only fair if you ask me about whatever you want."

"There is one thing I've been wondering about and even just as your birth mother, I still have the right to be concerned." Molly began with a tightly lipped frown, her expression suggesting that this topic was going to be tense. "Are you involved with Eric? Like romantically?"

"Yes." I barely was able to answer before I was almost overcome with giggles. She may have been a stranger to me, but hearing her ask about my love life in a very maternal way made me feel like I was a teenager instead of almost 24 years old. "He and I have been together for a while now and we live together..."

"But he's a vampire." She pointed out like that wasn't obvious. "A very old vampire.."

"Yeah, he's a thousand years old." I smiled as her face twisted into pure surprise. "But trust me, he doesn't act his age at all most of the time."

"Does he treat you well?" She wanted to know, her eyes guarded like she was expecting me to admit that Eric beat me on a regular basis. "I only ask because most vampire/human relationships don't go well. And with my history with your father, I got concerned when I saw the way you and Eric interacted and I just wanted to know the story about you guys."

"I won't lie. Eric's not perfect in any sense of the word. He's egotistical and snobby, self centered and selfish, mean and manipulative at times. And mostly, he is completely inappropriate when it comes to relationships. And if I think about it, he has more bad moments then good moments." I was being truthful. Eric did have faults. Many of them and they did not go unnoticed by me or anyone around us. Eric never tried to hide his true self from me and I actually appreciated that. He shouldn't have to hide who he was. I loved that he was so true to who he was. "But when he does have a good moment, even when it is very rare, that moment is usually so sweet and nice that it cancels out his bad times completely. I love him and I know he loves me. I wouldn't be with him if I wasn't certain about us."

"You are a lot more mature then I was at your age, that's for sure." Molly chuckled, looking relieved if not entirely convinced of my statement before she met my eyes again. "But thank you for being honest with me. So now I suppose it's my turn to be honest with you."

"Only if you want to be."

"I...uh... I have a daughter. I mean, I have another daughter besides you." She said quickly, her eyes darting away quickly just as I felt that oh so familiar rush of shock hit me right in the chest. Another daughter? I had a sibling for god only knows how long and I had no idea. It was not what I was expecting to hear come out of her mouth when we shared things about ourselves. And this was not a little thing. " She's 3 years old, her name is Susan."

"You...you have another daughter? I have a sister?" I felt my mouth drop open wide at this confirmation from her but I wasn't as mad about it as I thought I was going to be. In fact, I was kind of elated. I had a sister, an actual sibling just Sookie and Jason had each other. I looked at Molly with a smile and said. "Holy crap that's wild. But kind of awesome."

"Do you want to see a picture?" She asked, her face registering surprise at my reaction but she was obviously pleased because when I nodded to see the picture, she went shuffling through her purse for her wallet, pulling out a small square and handed it to me. "There she is."

"Oh my god..." I felt my lips twitching uncontrollably into a smile as I looked down on the first image I had of my little half sister. She was this tiny little blonde girl walking down a graveled path with a basket in her hand and her hair braided on either side of her head. She was wearing this little white dress that made her look more like an angel child then human. She was beautiful and sweet and it was hard to believe that we were even related. I looked up at molly and said the first thing that came to my mind. "She's so blonde."

"Oh god, yes she is. She gets that from her father." Molly started laughing too, taking the picture back to look at it with an affectionate smile. "But she has my eyes, our eyes. That's something."

"Does she know about me?" I asked as the thought hit me right at that second and I just had to know. My hands clutched my coffee cup as I asked. "Does she know she has a sister?"

"No, I haven't told her yet." Molly shook her head, tucking the picture back into her wallet before folding her hands on the table top. "I never thought I would see you again and I didn't want to get Susan's hopes up for a big sister that she may never meet."

"I guess I understand that." I wasn't offended about this in the slightest. I could see where she was coming from. She didn't know if the resurrection would have worked and after meeting for the first time, she was probably thinking that we may never lay eyes on each other again. So she didn't want to disappoint her very young daughter, I got that. "But if its ok with you, one day I would like to meet her."

"Really? Then we could definitely make that happen." She exclaimed, obviously pleased beyond words that I wanted to see my little sister and for a second, I thought she was going to cry. But she got a hold of herself and reached for her wallet again. "I want to show you another picture I carry around. It's a picture that's almost 24 years old."

This time, it was almost me who cried because when she handed me another photograph, I knew immediately what I was going to be looking at. The picture was yellowing and fraying at the edges but the image was still clear, as was the faces of three adult people in it. It was taken inside a hospital room and I saw the happy expressions on the faces of my parents as they sat together on the bed next to a much younger Molly, who in turn was holding a small bundle in her arms, that was me. I almost felt the breath leave my lungs as I looked down at this picture taken at the time of my birth. It was so surreal looking into the past like this, it was my past. It was my first moment with the three people who meant the most to me at the time. I was just a newborn, surrounded by more love then most kids had born to young mothers. It had me fighting back tears as I realized this was probably the only picture in existence of the 4 of us together and I looked up at Molly with a hesitant smile.

"This is...so beautiful." I had to hand the photo back to her before I did start crying. But as she was putting it away, I had to ask her something very important. "Do you think you could make me a copy of that? I would really like it if you could..."

"Yes of course. I would be happy to do that." Molly agreed, her face lighting up like she had just won the lottery and she leaned forward to say. "I guess this means we'll be seeing each other again."

"Yea, I think it does." I nodded, smiling again which I never thought I would be doing at all when I had decided to come here. "You know what? I'm glad I called you this morning."

"I'm glad too."

90 minutes later

"So you finally came home..." Eric's voice was the first to speak up when I entered the kitchen later that night way after the sun had set and found both him and Godric sitting at the table waiting for me. Eric's eyes found my face and I saw his lip twitch up into a smile. "And judging by the fact that you're not crying or screaming, I take it that things went ok."

"I would say more then ok. I think it went well actually." I said with a bright smile, not even bothered that I was in a kitchen with a vampire whop had verbally attacked me just the night before. For some reason, that didn't matter to me anymore. I didn't care because after meeting with Molly, there were more important things on my mind. I tossed my bag on the counter and walked over to the refrigerator to get a drink while I said. "I found out something pretty interesting."

"More interesting then what you already found out?" Eric asked, raising his eyebrow at me as I hopped up on a stool across from the table. "Do tell."

"I have a half sister. She's 3 years old and her name's Susan." I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. I still couldn't believe that I actually had a sibling. I mean, I had always had family around me, but I always remembered being jealous of Sookie and Jason. They may fight a lot but they loved each other. And I knew they thought of me as their sibling too, but it wasn't the same. But now that I actually did have a little sister, I didn't quite feel as out of place as I use to in my former life. "Can you believe that? I have a little sister. It's crazy!"

"It's nice too. You have more family then you originally did." Godric spoke up hesitantly as if he wasn't sure he was allowed to speak in my presence, his face frozen in a guarded expression. "It's good that you have a younger sister, young children are fun."

"Why would you say that?" I instantly demanded, growing wild with panic at the mere mention of Godric talking about children. And so soon after telling them about my sister. What if Godric was thinking about reverting to his old ways? What if he wanted to go after Susan because he was feeling a familiar itch to relive his past? I shot a look at him, watching him intently. "Why would you say children are fun?"

"Uh, because I like children and you seem like the type to like them too. So it shouldn't be hard for you to accept this child into your life." He explained with a deep set frown and even without touching him, I could take a pretty good guess at what he was thinking. I knew my reaction was out of left field and suspicious and he was probably assuming the worse. "Why did you ask me in that tone? What's going on?"

"Oh, uh just because I've never heard a vampire say they like children before and I was just surprised that's all." I was pulling this lie out of my ass so fast that it almost left me dizzy. I should have just come clean and admitted to what I had seen by accident. But instead I was lying to my best friend and the man I loved and letting everything pile up even more. But I couldn't just say it. It was too hard. "Honestly, I was just surprised."

"That seems to be your reasoning for everything these days." Godric pointed out, staring at me like he didn't quite believe what I was saying. He and I didn't have the same kind of blood bond as before so he couldn't always tell when I was lying. But he knew me well enough to be suspicious. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"Not as ok as I would like to be, but I'm getting there." I had to say something that was believable that would have a logical reason why I was not acting like myself. "I'm just trying to process everything that has happened lately and it kind of has me on edge."

"Oh, yes I can imagine it does." Godric looked immediately guilty and I knew he was thinking I was referring to what had happened last night and he turned his face up to mine apologetically. "I have to say how sorry I am for losing it last night. That was not really me and I ..."

"Godric's ok, really. No one has been acting like themselves in the past couple of weeks so it's fine. I won't hold a grudge." I told him, trying my best to sound sincere. I wasn't mad about how he talked to me since there were other things about him that held my attention. I just had to pretend like it was all ok. I looked at him with a smile and said. "Trust me, after being with Eric for so long, I'm use to being verbally attacked."

"Hey!" Eric exclaimed, looking offended for a second but I could see the underling smirk on his face so I knew he wasn't being serious, even though he went along with the joke. "That's insulting."

"No it's just the truth." I shot back, falling into a fit of laughter as we all did at Eric's mock expression. It almost felt like old times back when I hadn't known the truth about anything. It was simpler back then. I looked at Eric's face, laughing and unaware of what I knew. And then to Godric, who was also chuckling but now when I looked at him, I didn't see the innocent, young looking vampire I use to see. I use to look in his eyes and see nothing but the picture of pure innocence. And now, I saw in the depth the flicker of a vampire he use to be. A more monstrous version of himself.

A few hours later

Young children are fun...I like them...

What the hell was going through Godric's mind when he said this?

I was sitting on my bed later that night after I had gotten out of the shower and was combing out my hair while I thought over the conversation I had with Godric earlier that night. I still felt the slight flutter of my heart when I heard his comment about children. I knew he probably didn't mean it the way I took it, but I couldn't help but automatically assume the worse. I knew that was a natural reaction after the memory I had seen, but I hated that it popped up so fiercely at any mention of young kids. And after finding out I had a little sister, hearing him talking about kids threw me even more for a loop. I didn't even know this little girl and I hadn't met her yet. But I knew about and therefore I already started to care and it terrified me to think that she was at the age that some of those kids were when Godric had hunted them down...

"Ok where is your mind at right now?" Eric's voice came clear across the room in the direction of the bathroom and I saw him stepping out with a towel wrapped around his waist before moving toward me with his arms crossed over his bare chest. "I've been trying to talk to you for the past 2 minutes and you just haven't responded at all."

"I'm sorry, I was just lost in thoughts for a while." I told him, tossing the comb on a nearby table and turned to watch as he walked over to the dresser with that same frown on his face. "I was thinking about Godric and..."

"Ok, seriously. What is going on with you and him?" Eric interrupted, his eyebrows drawn low as he turned around and leaned against the dresser. "Lately it seems like one of you is always acting weird around the other. And last night he nearly starts a fight in my bar and that is not like him. So once again I have to ask. What is going on?"

"Eric, it's nothing..."

"Don't tell me it's nothing because I know it is something. I'm not completely stupid." Eric snapped, standing up straight and flashing over to stand in front of me. "I've noticed how you jump when he's around. I hear the nervousness in your voice every time he speaks. I say the look on your face earlier today. And in the last week, your blood races whenever he walks into a room. It's almost like you're scared of him."

"I'm not scared of him, I'm scared of what I don't know." I had to give Eric something to appease his suspicions because he was nothing if not stubborn. He would keep picking at it until he unraveled the truth and I didn't want him to know. He might get angry at me knowing since it was done behind his maker's back. So I had to tell only a half lie. "When I was hanging out with Louie, he kind of let it slip that Godric had some kind of dark side back when they were friends. And I was wondering what it could possibly be. He said I could see into his mind if I wanted to know,but I turned it down. And now I can't help but wonder how someone like Godric could be bad. It's just not possible."

"Actually it is possible. Vampires who have lived as long as Godric aren't going to remain the same way they started off. So there's a good chance he was dark for a while and I was cruel and mean, I had to learn it from someone." He shrugged, moving off to the side and sitting beside me, his form still towering over me. "I know what my time with him was like, but if you're wondering about the time before that, then you have to ask him. I can't help you with that."

"That's true." I nodded, playing along with it but even I knew I couldn't entirely keep it up. There was only so long I could lie before I started repeating the same thing over and over again. "You know what? Maybe it's better if I don't know."

"Excuse me? Are you serious?" Eric raised an eyebrow at me, the confusion littering his features. "Just a second ago you were wondering about Godric's past and now you don't want to know anything. What's that about?"

"Maybe there are some things about Godric that I just shouldn't know." I reached out and wrapped my hands around Eric's arm, leaning my cheek against his shoulder as I stared at the carpet. It was too late to back out of seeing Godric's past, but I knew after seeing that memory that I didn't want to see any more. "Maybe the past is better left in the past. Some things don't need to be pulled into the present."

A/N: Just wanted to add a little note for this particular day. We all know what it means and we all remember the tragedy from that day. But we are still standing strong 10 years later. And we are as united as we ever have been. So take a moment and remember the lives lost on 9/11 and hope that they have peace while we struggle to move on in this sometimes cruel world. God bless america!