Title: Revert
Word count: 677
Genre: Angst/Friendship
Rating: T
Characters: Reid, Morgan
A/N: Oh, I haven't updated this fic in so long. Sorry guys. Anyway, this is my response to episode 6.02. I totally cried, not gonna lie.
Revert
Reid stumbled through the parking garage, pretences dropped the second the elevator doors shut. His breath kept catching, his eyes burned with the effort of keeping the tears in.
Am I really that worthless?
His fingers shook as they selected the right key, his eyes focusing for too long on the lock before he could get it in. He'd completely forgotten about the electric device dangling off the ring that unlocks the doors with a push of a button.
I must be.
The car door narrowly avoided smacking the car next to him as he jerkily manoeuvred his body into the vehicle. He started it, putting on his seatbelt as a distant afterthought, more habit than active will.
Everyone leaves me.
He paused, surfing through stations before he flicked the radio off. He sat back, trying hard to just breathe. But the grief was squeezing his chest so tightly he's sure he's going to haemorrhage.
Everyone.
That was it, he decided. He would go back to his apartment, and use the last vial of Dilaudid that he had. Float away into peaceful oblivion, away from the pain lancing his heart. Away from the overwhelming feeling of failure and worthlessness.
Just a little hit, and I'll be okay.
He jumped when he heard a tap on the window. He composed himself as he looked over to see Morgan. The other agent looked meaningfully down at the locks, then back up. Reid reluctantly unlocked the doors, and Morgan slid into the passenger seat. He shut the door lightly behind him.
Did you come so you could leave me too?
The car was filled with awkward silence. Reid looked at the wheel, focusing on breathing normally. He felt like he did when he first started at the BAU, like a vulnerable kid instead of the adult he knew he was. After a moment, Morgan reached over and turned the key back. The engine stopped, furthering the silence.
Because you see, everyone leaves me.
"Kid, you wanna talk about it?" Morgan asked quietly. Reid looked over briefly before returning his gaze to the steering wheel, noting the pity and concern on Morgan's face. The grief too.
There's nothing to say.
"Not really, actually, I ah-" He tried frantically to think of a lie. "I'm actually super tired, so I'm just going to go home and sleep." He scratched at his chin nervously.
Lying through my teeth, just so I can find peace.
"Right." Morgan's voice was pure scepticism. "Look Reid, this has to be hitting you harder than the rest of us man."
You have no idea.
Reid looked over again, holding Morgan's gaze with anger. "Excuse me?"
Pretend like you know me.
Morgan sighed, leaning back against the door. "Well, you certainly have your abandonment issues to deal with."
You know me.
"Actually, I don't have abandonment issues." Reid's voice grew higher, like it always did when he lied. "You see the thing is, everyone around me has leaving issues." His face twisted into a angry sneer. "My dad, Elle, Gideon, and now JJ." He tilted his head slightly. "What about you Morgan? You going to leave too?"
You're no different.
Morgan looked back steadily, reaching out and squeezing Reid shoulder tightly. "I am never leaving this team Reid. I got someone to watch out for."
Everyone leaves the same way...
The tension drained from Reid, and he looked unseeing though the windshield. He frantically scrubbed at his eyes, willing the moisture to dry up.
Except you.
Morgan said nothing, giving his shoulder another reassuring squeeze before letting go. He politely waited until Reid composed himself. "You up for some bad Chinese?"
I'm up for a lot of things.
"Yeah." Reid nodded, pulling the keys from the ignition. He realised that he was glad Morgan had come. He wasn't that vulnerable kid anymore. He was someone who had somehow figured out to deal with the things life threw at him. He wasn't the person who could let go, but he was certainly a person who could learn.
Like hope.
~Fin