Chapter Twenty-one
"Do you know how cruel your God can be, David? How fantastically cruel? . . . Sometimes he makes us live." Stephen King's - "Desperation"
It wasn't a romantic love which I had recently uncovered. No, I felt more like his mother. There, I saw a boy who would never be cared for, and in myself I saw the ability to protect him. He started to follow me all around Gatlin, and I cannot honestly say that I didn't want him tagging along. Honestly, I thought it was adorable. I couldn't help but wonder what life would have been like if Malachai had still been around.
We would have our own house. Malachai would teach Moses so much. Moses would be our "little man". And Malachai and I would grow old and Moses would be our pride and joy and we'd watch him grow up before quietly passing into the night.
But Malachai wasn't there anymore. There was nothing I could do but wait.
I did wish a number of times that I had died as well that night. I didn't care if I would have ended up in Hell. I didn't care if I would have ended up in some form of heaven. I didn't care if I would have just simply ceased to exist. I didn't care as long as I was with him. I loved him, I really did. Life is too hard to be lived alone.
But I didn't die, now did I? No matter how badly I wished that I had, I would take no action in trying to make that wish come true. I couldn't do that to myself. I was obviously there for a reason, I just hadn't found it yet.
I had Moses to think about. I didn't want him to end up going back home where he'd just be hit over and over again. He was the smallest thing, he couldn't have even attempted hurting anyone else. He didn't need to be harmed, he just needed someone to protect him. He didn't deserve to suffer through the evils of the world.
Some people, they just don't deserve to come into contact with any sort of pain. Moses was a perfect example. He was so small, a strong gust of wind could have made him collapse. He didn't deserve to be hit. He also didn't deserve to see others suffer. That in itself is a torture as well. You stand there, seeing people dying right before your eyes and you just can't do a damn thing about it. Like I said, some people just plain old didn't deserve that.
I can name a million people who shouldn't have suffered that way. All of those kids, even after committing and witnessing horrible evils, they were children. But I, I deserved it. I had done too much. No, I didn't actually do anything, but I had thought about it and I had planned it and that was just as bad.
And so I got my punishment. Malachai was gone, my parents were gone, they were all dead because of me. And all I thought about that whole time was how selfish I was. Looking back now, even I can tell that I deserved it.
AN: Okay. So I figured it out. There will be 25 chapters. Two will come out today (1/25/2013), one will come out tomorrow (1/26/2013) and the last two will be out on the 27th, which marks the one year anniversary of this story. I hope you all continue to review, you guys seriously make me so happy with every review you all write, even if it's only a few words. Thank you so much. I'm really going to miss that when I finish this story. Anyways, until next time. . .