A/N: Ever wondered how V-Day and the suburbs mission would have been had Chuck and Sarah been a real couple back then? Here's one take on the subject. Enjoy!

Well, this ought to be good

Brad White

Chuck & Sarah vs the Cohabitation

Chuck was in the Buy More, watching the wall with a look of horror on his face. Sarah, looking hot, as usual, in her Double O outfit entered the store and sought him out.

"Are you OK, Chuck?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, no, not since Emmett started playing romantic comedies 24/7. He must love Must Love Dogs, cause that's all he's been showing."

"Right," Sarah laughed. "Well, I was just wondering about tonight."

"Oh, is there a mission tonight?" Chuck asked and Sarah couldn't help but smile. She thought it was cute when he was clueless like that.

"Actually, I was referring to the whole Valentine's Day thing."

"Oh, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! Did you want to do something?"

"No, I didn't have anything particular in mind; I was just curious. Unless you wanted to do something." She was completely honest; V-Day wasn't exactly her thing, but now she was dating for real. And so she was curious if Chuck could come up with some real couple stuff for them to do.

"Doesn't it seem like we ought to do something? I mean, it's up to you."

"Yeah, sure, OK, I mean, we have been dating for over a year now, right?"

"Yeah… I mean it would be weird if we didn't do something."

"Completely weird," she agreed. She really didn't have a clue as to what that something would be. Well, she'd leave the planning to Chuck, who was more knowledgeable in that department. They laughed awkwardly.

"I'll think of something."

"In the meantime I have a bunch of paperwork to catch up on."

"Good."

"Great."

"Hey, hey, hey, happy Valentine's Day you two," Morgan said, coming up on the couple. "Any hot plans for tonight?"

"Absolutely, there is," Chuck said, trying to reassure Sarah that all would be OK. "My house at eight o'clock, right?"

"I can hardly wait. I'll see you then sweetie," she said and planted a quick but loving kiss on him.

"Did you ever think that the two of us would ever wind up with smart beautiful sexually adventuresome girls on Valentine's Day?" Morgan asked. Before Chuck had a chance to answer, Big Mike barged in with all the finesse of a sonic boom.

"The answer is NO! Two jackasses like you landing two hot pieces like Anna and Blondie, it's a cruel trick of nature! Grimes! Get your butt to the sales floor before I kick it over there! Bartowski, herd up the Nerds!" As it turned out the boss was in a foul mood because his wife was leaving him and had in fact had the divorce papers delivered that day. Quite an irony, such papers being delivered on Valentine's Day.

In the apartment, Chuck was sprawled on the couch, trying to catch his breath. Since Ellie and Devon had picked this day for a romantic getaway, he and Sarah had the entire apartment to themselves. So, in addition to the flowers and the chocolates he'd gotten for her, they'd had a romantic dinner of Chinese takeout, and then Sarah had revealed the incredibly sexy lingerie she'd been wearing, having bought it for the occasion, and they'd proceeded to defile every room except for Ellie and Devon's bedroom. It had seemed like a welcome change, since until then they had been getting together either in his bedroom or in her hotel room and a change of scenery was more than welcome. In fact Sarah had been incredibly turned on and she just couldn't have enough.

"Can I ask you a question?" Sarah asked, breaking the silence.

"Sure."

"This is your worst Valentine's Day ever, right?"

"Come on, don't be silly."

"Please, you are not going to offend me." She was new to this stuff and she really needed to know how she was doing. She needed to have him help her deal with her insecurities when it came to feelings and relationships.

"It's the most exhausting perhaps, but definitely not the worst. There must be someone, somewhere having a far worse Valentine's Day." The humorous answer had the desired effect and brought a huge smile to her face and allowed herself to relax in Chuck's arms.

That someone, by the way, was Casey right across the courtyard. He had been enjoying some whiskey and a burnt Hot Pocket (he never seemed to be able to get those done right), while watching a Vietnam War documentary when General Beckman contacted him and gave him a new assignment. She needed someone to find out what an agent who had gone insane had been doing in the suburbs. When Casey commented that he wouldn't fit in very well in the Hell of Suburbia, the General told him that she needed a real couple for the assignment.

Meanwhile, Chuck was trying to fend off Sarah, who wanted yet another encore, as he hadn't fully regained his strength after the last go. Sarah had just managed to pin him down and was about to rip his boxer shorts off while simultaneously kissing him when her phone rang.

"Sarah, your phone's ringing," he squeaked, trying in vain, as it seemed, to stop her from (again) having her way with him.

"Forget it. I have other things to take care of right now," she said lustily.

"It could be important," he said. She growled in frustration and picked up her phone from the coffee table. "Is that Casey?" Chuck asked.

"Looks like we got a mission."

"Thank you General Beckman!" He was relieved he was spared more sweet, but exhausting, torture at her hands. Of course she was disappointed that her job was ruining a perfect evening with her boyfriend, but quickly pulled on her clothes and went with Chuck out into the courtyard to meet Casey.

"'Fraid you two are going to have to drop your dating 'cover' for this particular mission," Casey said without preamble.

"No problem," said Sarah.

"What is it? Thai street racing gang, Ukrainian prostitution ring?" Chuck asked. A change would be welcome in the spy stuff too.

"No. For this mission you and Agent Walker are going to be married," Casey replied with an evil grin and produced two wedding rings. Chuck and Sarah looked at them in surprise and hesitantly took them. "You two kids are going to the suburbs," Casey continued. The couple looked at each other and then at Casey in shock. "Good luck as a normal couple." Both Chuck and Sarah understood the meaning of that last statement. They were a real couple, but that didn't mean they were a normal one, despite trying to do normal couple stuff whenever they could. As for Casey, he was thoroughly enjoying seeing them this uncomfortable.

The following day Chuck was preparing for the mission to the suburbs. And, naturally, he could not avoid a round of questioning – an inquisition really – by Ellie. He told her the cover story Sarah had come up with: That they were house-sitting in the suburbs. Her reaction was predictable…

"Oh… Chuck, that's... that's great!"

"Spending a week in the suburbs? Yeah, dream come true!"

"No, don't you get it? This is… this is like a dry run you know, so you and Sarah can see what it would really be like," Ellie said, pointing at her engagement ring.

"Zip it, nuh-uh, that is your wedding craziness right there. So keep that! That's yours," Chuck said, well aware of the direction his sister was steering the conversation to. "We're just house-sitting, it's no big deal."

"Okay, fine. Can we call it 'Cohabitating with your long term girlfriend in a house that doesn't have posters that were hung in the 8th grade'?" Ellie insisted, theatrically indicating the Tron poster in Chuck's room.

"That is a collectible," Chuck insisted. "But yeah, fine, we can call it that."

"And that is a big step forward," she said happily and applauded before literally bouncing out of his room.

Later, Chuck was driving his NSA-issue Saab 9-3 SportCombi and parked it in front of the garage of the Carmichael house. He paused a bit, taking in the sight of the beautiful neighborhood before entering. The photos of the 'Carmichaels' were the first thing that caught his eye: wedding pictures, honeymoon photos, and various snapshots of him and Sarah together. Some were real, and others had been photoshopped, by Sarah herself no less. He knew that for a fact. After all, she had made that promise photo of them together at Comic-Con. There was even a photo of a dog. Said dog passed by him in the living room.

"Love what you've done with the place," he told his 'wife', who was carrying a huge bowl.

"Thanks," she replied. "I had help."

"Uh, sorry, but whose life have I stepped into?" Chuck asked jokingly. "What… what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm making potato salad," Sarah replied. She also looked every bit the suburban housewife she was supposed to be on this mission. A drop dead gorgeous suburban housewife, that is.

"Are you cooking for the entire neighborhood?"

"No Chuck," she replied gamely. "You are." She handed him a plate of sausages, burgers and steaks for barbecuing on a Beast Master 2000 grill (the moment he saw it he realized that Casey was behind the choice of brand) that was installed in the back yard. There, the "Carmichaels' met their new neighbors. Chuck and Sarah found that playing the roles of a married couple was easier than they had first expected and even enjoyable, more so on this mission than on any other they had used the same cover in the past.

Even Casey was there, disguised as the cable guy. He found a bug, which a flash from Chuck identified as being used by Fulcrum. The situation was way more serious than they had originally believed. And on top of all else, Sylvia, a neighbor's wife, was shamelessly hitting on Chuck. Sarah managed to conceal her anger and pretended not to notice, but inside she wanted to skin that cougar and use the hide as a rug in the living room, or would have if she had been dealing with a real feline and not a husband-stealing slut.

The first night at the house was mostly spent 'reinforcing their cover', i.e. doing what a newly wed couple would do. And this was the part of the mission they enjoyed the most. Needless to say, sleep was not their first priority. In the morning Chuck went to the kitchen following the wonderful smell of breakfast, yawning all the way down, the dog following on his heels. There he was greeted by the sight of a radiant Sarah, in the sexy pink nightgown she had not worn for long last night, making breakfast.

"Hi," she said when she noticed his presence, "did you sleep well?"

"Like a log, honey, how did you sleep?" It was said loudly and he used hand gestures to inquire about bugs.

"I'm cooking breakfast," she said. "Casey swept the house, it's clean."

"OK. What, are we going to invite the neighbors over?"

"No, Chuck. I'm cooking for you," she replied and immediately noticed the goofy grin that appeared on his face. "What?"

"Nothing… It's just…funny; I never pictured you doing this," he said as she chopped some herbs for the breakfast omelet she was making.

"Well, what can I say? I'm versatile," she said smiling. "Sit," she commanded. He obeyed and she served him breakfast.

"Hold on. Are… are you enjoying this whole Martha Stewart thing?" She gave him a funny look. "I can't believe it! Please tell me you're not going soft on me."

"Shut up and eat your breakfast," she said, while enjoying some fruit.

"You better be careful Sarah; one day you might actually turn into a real girl." They both smiled. Chuck started eating and marveled at the taste. Ellie's cooking lessons had not been for naught. Sarah in the meantime was feeding the dog.

"I've got your suit ready upstairs," she said when they finished their breakfast.

"Thanks honey," he replied. "By the way, is the dog an agent too?"

"What?" The question was a bit weird to her, until she realized he was joking. "No," she laughed, "he 'works' for the props department."

As he went to take the car and head for the Buy More, she caught him outside.

"Sweetie," she called. He turned and saw her in a robe matching her nightgown and fluffy bunny slippers. "Sweetie, I almost forgot. Would you mind swinging by the store for me?" She gave him a list of things to buy. "Have a great day." She kissed him and waved goodbye with the dog by her side as he drove away. I could get used to this, he thought. Being 'married' to Sarah Lisa Walker did have its perks. For a fleeting second he wondered if it would all be just as good had they been married for real.

Getting ready for his shift at the Buy More he couldn't resist taking a last look at the list, smiling at the thought of Sarah the super spy girlfriend as Sarah the super housewife.

"Wipe that look off your face," Casey said, snatching the list from him.

"Wait, that's Sarah's…" the protest was cut off as he saw Casey use a UV flashlight to reveal a message written with invisible ink on the back of the shopping list. As it turned out, Sylvia's husband was Fulcrum. And he had been buying lots and lots of data line cable, possibly for hacking into government servers. Chuck was given the assignment to get close to Sylvia and take a peek at her husband's computer. He was uncomfortable with having to break his fake wedding vows and cheat on his lovely 'wife', who happened to be his real life girlfriend, but she assured him it was for the best.

At first things went according to plan. Crazy Cougar Lady Sylvia invited him in, undressed him and cuffed him to the bed. While she was getting him a drink Chuck managed to escape and run a test version of an Intersect on her husband's computer. He barely managed to get out as he came in. Apparently Sylvia was also a Fulcrum agent. He made his way back to the Carmichael house dressed only in his shorts and undershirt, plus the handcuffs Sylvia had used on him, in full view of the neighbors. The conclusion was easy to reach: he almost got caught by the cuckolded husband and had to beat a hasty retreat. As he got to the door, Sarah appeared.

"You are never gonna believe what just happened to me over there!" Chuck said, meaning the Intersect test. With the entire neighborhood watching, Sarah knew she had to act convincing, so she played the part of the cheated wife to a T and slapped her 'unfaithful husband' before slamming the door shut in his face. Fortunately, at least as far as Chuck was concerned, she used her left hand and gave him an appropriately loud, but not so painful slap. In fact it was nothing compared to the slap she'd once given Bryce (a full force one with her right hand).

General Beckman was furious for Chuck having been exposed not only to Fulcrum but to an entire cul-de-sac of civilians and decreed that the Carmichaels should get a divorce. Meaning that Sarah had to stay alone and monitor Fulcrum, backed up by Casey. They should not expose Chuck to more risk, especially since he now also had Fulcrum programming in his brain.

At the Buy More Chuck flashed on the Meadow Branch logo of the stationery Sarah's shopping list was written on. As it turned out, the corporation was a Fulcrum front and the entire neighborhood was Fulcrum. He tried to warn the others, but it was too late. Sarah and Casey had already been captured by Fulcrum. As was Chuck when he went to the cul-de-sac to see why his handlers weren't answering his calls.

The Fulcrum agents decided to test him by giving him the full download of their Intersect. Sarah was horrified at the prospect. She knew that hitherto all the test subjects had either died or gone mad. But she couldn't do anything to stop them. Chuck was strapped to a chair and subjected to the test. At first her fears seemed to be borne out. Chuck was unresponsive and she was on the verge of tears. But Chuck had absorbed the download with no ill effects.

"Do you mind if we test your wife next?" Sylvia asked.

"Wife? I don't have a wife," replied Chuck. Fortunately Casey had managed to free himself and sneaked into the control booth. Chuck saw him and winked, as he realized that Casey was about to give the Fulcrum staff a taste of their own medicine. He knew he needed to buy some time for Casey as Sarah was being strapped to the chair.

"Before you run the test, I'd like to tell Agent Walker something."

"Agent Walker…" Sylvia said. "Now we have a name.

Chuck turned to Sarah. She looked at him with fear in her eyes. She was afraid her Chuck was gone, until he motioned with his eyes and she saw Casey fiddling with the control console. She was relieved to know that her Chuck had not gone anywhere. He leaned close to her, still pretending to be under the spell of the Fulcrum Intersect.

"Close your eyes," he whispered. She saw Casey put on protective eyewear and screwed her eyes shut.

"Boom," muttered Casey and pushed the activation button. Chuck grabbed Sarah and held her close, shielding her from the lethal images with his body, keeping his own eyes also closed. He held her tight and supportively grasped her hand, the one with the fake wedding ring on it, while around them the Fulcrum agents were falling victim to their own work.

"Are you okay?" Chuck asked frantically as he untied her restraints when it was all over.

"Yeah, you?"

"I think so," he replied. They looked at each other and smiled.

"Somebody call the cable guy?" Casey quipped as he entered the test chamber. Chuck and Sarah ignored him and kissed passionately.

Later, Casey was overseeing the cleanup, while Sarah was being debriefed by the General.

"Besides testing on humans, it appears that Fulcrum is perilously close to completing their own Intersect computer. Making Bartowski more important than ever! His life has never been in more danger. The honeymoon is over, Agent Walker!" Beckman said sternly.

"Yes ma'am," Sarah replied, fully aware of the stakes. A few minutes later, she met up with Chuck upstairs in the yogurt shop.

"Hey, everything OK?" Chuck asked.

"Yeah, just a routine debriefing."

"So, I was wondering if you wanted to swing by the old cul-de-sac tonight."

"Why?"

"Oh, ah, I don't know, I mean, you know, I figured we still got the place and Ellie still thinks we're house-sitting, so, I thought, you know, maybe we could enjoy another night in the suburbs. Order in, rent a movie, no mission to worry about, just 'Mr. and Mrs. Carmichael', maybe have some fun."

"Chuck, we can't go back there. It was just a cover."

"Yeah, I know that, I just thought…"

"Casey and I have to shut down the operation. Besides, there is already a cleaner crew over there emptying the place. I have to go help. Can we talk later?"

"Absolutely," he replied and turned to leave, cursing the efficiency of the CIA and the NSA.

"Uh, Chuck?"

"Yeah."

"I'm gonna need that back," she said, indicating his wedding ring.

"Right… Almost forgot," he said, taking it off and handing it over.

"Good thing I remembered," she said. "Can you imagine what would have happened if Ellie were ever to see it?"

"We wouldn't hear the end of it," he laughed. "Getting secretly married without telling her? She'd be mad at both of us."

"I'm not sure my training would be enough to save us from her wrath," Sarah agreed.

"See you later tonight?"

"Your place at eight?"

"It's a date."

At home Ellie grilled her brother about the time with Sarah in the suburbs. He couldn't tell her what exactly had happened, but he just told her that they'd had a good time and also realized that they were not yet ready for long term cohabitation, which was true, in more than one way. He cut off Ellie's attempt at disputing his statement by saying that these things needed time. And he and Sarah had all the time in the world.

The following day Chuck and Sarah had already left for the mall when Ellie and Devon found breakfast ready as they started getting ready for work. Chuck had left a note saying that Sarah had cooked and that he recommended it highly. Sarah in her postscript thanked Ellie for the cooking lessons, stating that they had made their time at the suburbs even better, since love truly goes through the stomach.