Hi all, I haven't updated this story in nearly four years. I'd kind of forgotten about it. Thank you so much to Rachel, whose recent review caused me to read the story again and decide to work on it. Thanks for reading.

Stronger Than Pride-21

Alexis struggled to catch her breath as she opened the door to Penthouse 2. Less than a minute after she placed Joey safely on the sofa, she began to hyperventilate. Moving from her desk to her briefcase to her purse, she searched for a paper bag to no avail. Since she married Jason, she hadn't needed any. Alexis sat on the sofa and placed her head between her legs as she continued to try to regulate her breathing.

"You okay?"

The question made her freeze; not because of the content of the question but because of the asker. She hadn't seen him when she came in. The man always could move like a cat. And now, suddenly he was standing near the sofa. For a moment she believed her agitated state had caused her to conjure Jason up before her very own eyes.

"Lex, what's wrong?" He sat beside her. Did something happen?" She watched as he stared at her with fear in his eyes. "Do you have an inhaler?"

She shook her head no and attempted to wave him off. Still, she felt as though she was going to collapse. About the same time Joey began to wail loudly.

"Get…the…baby," she gasped each word between precious breaths.

And then as if things couldn't get any worse, Sonny entered their apartment. But thankfully, he was carrying a paper bag. Quickly, he placed the paper bag over her mouth, rubbed her back and coached her as she began to breathe.

"In and out. That's it. In and out."

She held his eyes as he watched her breathe. Part of her hated him for knowing her even better than her husband. The other part calmed because he knew what she needed. Soon, she felt her breathing return to normal.

"I'm okay." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "You should go."

Jason held a now-content Joey in his arms. "What happened?"

Sonny answered before she could. The truth was she didn't have the strength.

"I said some things Alexis didn't want to hear and I upset her." Once more, Sonny held her gaze. "I'm sorry."

"I'll be across the hall. Jason, welcome home." With that, Sonny disappeared.

Jason placed Joey back in his bassinette. "So, are you going to tell me what Sonny said that had you so upset?"

"Sweetheart, I'm exhausted. I feel like someone just slammed a brick against my chest." Inside, she knew she could never lie to Jason, but she feared that the truth would upset the delicate balance of friendship and love the three managed to build over the last year. Still, the way Jason eyed her made her wonder if he'd overheard the words that should never have been spoken. "I've missed you so much. Can you just hold me?"

"Yeah." Jason moved to the sofa and pulled her closer to him. He kissed the top of her head.

When she regained the breath in her lungs, she managed to squeeze out a question. "Were you able to find Jerry?" Sonny had told her the details of Jason's secret mission less than 24 hours after he'd gone.

"Lex, it was a long trip. Can we talk about it later?"

"Sure." She sensed the tension in his voice and she wondered whether it was due to his failure or the fact that he didn't want her to know where he had gone. As she snuggled against his chest, she realized then just how much she had missed his touch. His lips were soft as he kissed her forehead. She wanted nothing more than to soak in his presence, especially after he had been gone for so long. Unfortunately, her mind wandered back to Sonny's confession from a few moments earlier. "Alexis, the truth is, I'm in love with you. I never stopped."

Jason stroked her hair. "What were you and Sonny talking about before I came home?"

She pulled away from Jason's chest and held his gaze. She saw the calming blue hue that was unique to his eyes. He loved Sonny like a brother. Maybe he could find a way to forgive the man that had confessed to save him. Or maybe he would ask her questions for which she didn't have the answers. Apparently, she hesitated too long.

"He told you, didn't he?"

The question threatened to snatch the air from her lungs once more. How should she answer? From the sound of the question, there was certainly something that he and Sonny had been keeping from her, but it couldn't be this. Inwardly, she raged at the possibility that in addition to Anthony Zacchara's attempt on his life and Claudia's role in saving him, Jason had kept yet another secret from her. And if it was that Sonny was in love with her, she didn't know what to think.

"Told me what?"

"That he was in love with you."

Her heart fluttered as she heard the words repeated once more. Until now she chalked Sonny's confession up to the impending trial and the time they'd been spending together. Now, she didn't know what to think. And how did Jason know? Had they discussed it without her as though she was some irrelevant third party? "You knew? And you didn't tell me?"

"Yes."

She stood and began to pace. "I don't understand. You and Sonny discussed me and how Sonny felt about me and you never felt like you should mention it? How exactly did that conversation go? "Well Jason, I got Carly last time, so you get Alexis."

"It wasn't like that."

She crossed her hands protectively in front of her chest. What kind of man would leave his wife with a man that was in love with her? "Why don't you tell me how it was? When did you and Sonny discuss me?"

Jason sighed. "It was the day after we got married."

"I don't understand. Did the two of you have some kind of deal? You could have me for the year we were supposed to be married and then I'd go back to Sonny. How could you say you love me and share me with your best friend?"

"Alexis, I didn't share you with Sonny. I thought it was best for Kristina if she had her mother and her father near her whenever she wanted them. And I didn't tell you because I didn't want Sonny and his feelings in the middle of our marriage."

"And what do you call leaving me for a month to work with Sonny every single day?" Her voice was louder than she intended. "You left Sonny here to play father to my children and our son? Why? Was it a reward for him confessing to a crime we both know he didn't commit? Why would you let this happen?"

"Let what happen? Did you sleep with him?"

"Of course not!" She yelled. She successfully fought the urge to smack him. "I would never cheat on you…even if you did set up the perfect scenario for an affair to happen." Maybe he was really trying to be accommodating to Kristina, but she felt slightly hurt that that he he wasn't concerned enough about Sonny's feelings to keep her away from him.

"So, if you didn't sleep with Sonny, why are you so agitated now? Did you figure out that you are still in love with him?"

Before she could answer his question, Viola entered preceded by Molly and Kristina. The girls giggled with glee when they saw their stepfather. "Papo!"

He picked them both up and swung them in the air. She smiled as she watched Jason dote on the girls. Their faces lit up as bright as the moon when he gave them the dolls and the jewelry that he'd found in foreign countries. His relationship with her children was one of the things she loved so much about him. At that moment she made two decisions. The first was that she would not let Sonny's confession destroy her marriage. Their chance had come and gone. The second was to try to get over Jason allowing Sonny to get so close to her without telling her how Sonny felt.

That night, after Joey was fed and the girls were tucked in, Alexis smiled as she saw her husband back in their bed where he belonged. Things could go back to normal now. She crawled in beside him.

"This is more like it." She tried to encircle his torso only to have him pull away.

He held her captive in the intense gaze of his crystal blue eyes. "You never answered my question. Do you love Sonny?"

Once more her heart began to race. The answer was complicated. Sonny would always hold a piece of her heart due to Kristina. He'd been her best friend through some of the worst times of her life. So, she opted for a slimmed down version of the truth. "I love you, Jason. What Sonny and I had was a great friendship and a one-night stand. What you and I have is a marriage and a family. I wouldn't ruin that for anything in the world."

She placed a kiss at his jawline before moving to his mouth. He responded to her as he always had with intense desire. His time away did not lessen his feelings for her. Soon, they were entangled together, pressed against one another, flesh to flesh.

That morning when she was awakened by the sounds of her blaring alarm, she remembered Sonny's impending murder trial. It was scheduled to begin in a less than two months. After a shower, she allowed her nose to lead her to the smell of the special brew coffee that bore the name of her husband and the man who'd confessed his love to her. She arrived in the kitchen to see the familiar sight of chocolate chip pancakes made into smiley faces and her girls grinning back at them. Joey was in Jason's arms enjoying a bottle of formula. She never dreamed this would be her life, but she was so thankful it was.

"Good morning." She kissed the cheeks of everyone in the room before she finally landing on Jason. "The coffee smells amazing."

She noticed that he eyed her as she poured. It was so obvious that she wasn't surprised when he asked if he could speak to her alone in the other room.

"Alexis, if I asked you for a favor would you do it for me?"

"Of course."

"Quit the trial."

Alexis furrowed her brow. "Jason, the trial starts in a couple of months. I have a professional responsibility to defend Sonny at this point."

He barely blinked. "Diane can handle it. You don't need to "

"It wouldn't be right." She chided herself with the phrase be careful what you wish for. The night before, she'd wished Jason had shown a little jealousy when it came to Sonny, but this could threaten her professional reputation. Then there was the fact that she and Jason both knew Sonny hadn't killed Craig…Jason had, albeit in self-defense. "I need to do this."

"For Sonny?"

There was the jealousy that she thought Jason didn't possess and oddly, now, she wished it had never appeared. "For the girls, for us, too. We owe Sonny. You've done your part to help clear him and I need to do mine. Can you be ok with that?"

Jason looked at her for a long moment before he answered. "I don't know." Then he left the room.