Gamer4 in. No time to explain! Gotta go fast!
Disclaimer: I don't own No Time to Explain, an interesting flash game on the internet.
Chapter XVII
Simba, Oreo, and the Beast
For a moment, the three of them remained frozen on the hill, staring back at Crazy's cabin, listening to the Hand's cries. Moving in a dream-like trance, Mario started to step forward, as if trying to return and comfort his old friend, but Zelda quietly reached out and grabbed his shoulder. When she spoke, her voice was racked with sobs- "Mario... we can't. I'm sorry... but... we can't."
"Hate to say it," Link spoke, his voice hollow and cold, "but she's right. We'll only make more trouble for him if we go back..."
Slowly, the group turned and began climbing back towards the mansion, Zelda crying quietly under her breath, and Link rattling off a long list of expletives. Initially, these expletives were directed at the Government and how they could possibly have done such a thing, but as they climbed, he redirected them at his pet cucoo. "Dang it, Oreo, what are you doing?"
Oreo was going more and more berserk every second, doing everything he could to escape from Link's grip.
"You know, this is the most active I think I've ever seen him," Mario noted, struggling to return to his normal straight-man position.
"Not the time, Mario!" Link grumbled, fighting to keep hold of his pet, but it was no good, as Oreo abruptly drove his beak down into Link's hand, causing him to grunt in pain and drop him. The cucoo sprinted off across the grounds, only looking back once, turning and beginning to move his wings about in a strange manner, as though he was calling something back to them. It was the strangest thing Mario had ever seen. The cucoo then proceeded to turn, but kept his head looking back at them, waving his wing over his head one last time. Suddenly, there was a blur out from the side, and Oreo found himself being tackled to the ground by a new arrival- Simba, pelting across the grounds and finally grabbing his prey.
"Simba, NO!" Zelda cried, causing Simba to glance up at her, giving Oreo just enough time to pull himself out of the cat pokemon's grip before turning and sprinting away as fast as his bird legs would carry him. After looking around for a moment for his lost prey, Simba located the cucoo and streaked off after him.
Link didn't wait to talk it over with the others- he shot out from under their blanket and tore across the grounds after both pets, running as hard as he could. Mario and Zelda tried to grab him, but moved just too slow, and eventually resorted to sprinting after him, even dropping and forgetting the blanket as they did so.
And so began the chase around the outside of the mansion, (insert silly music and Scooby Dooby Doors here,) with Mario and Zelda chasing Link chasing Simba chasing Oreo. It only came to an end when Link finally gained enough ground on the two pets in front of him to leap forward and grab onto Oreo, turning and kicking at Simba to send him away. "Freaking cat!" he growled. "Stay away from my cucoo!"
"Cat... pokemon..." Mario panted as they caught up. They were still behind by quite a bit when they stopped for breath- besides, the chase was over.
"Alright, Link," Zelda gasped as she moved towards Simba, trying to scoop up her own pet, "let's get back to the blanket and head back into the mansion, alright? The Master Hand and all those people from the Government will be back soon..."
Link was on the point of agreeing, nodding as he looked back at them, when his face suddenly drained of all color. "Oh, crud," they heard him muttering. "Guys, run! The Blue-Eyed Beast!"
The two spun around to see a large, hulking creature standing there- the one Mario had seen way back in Peach Creek, and again in the Smash-Up stadium- the hulking, canine shape, with undoubtable, piercing blue eyes. Growling, the creature began running towards him, about to take its prey at last-
and then it sprinted directly past Mario, tackling Link and sinking its teeth into one of his arms. Mario leapt forward, trying to summon a handful of fire with one hand and grab onto the beast itself with the other, but he was too late by a few seconds- the beast had Link clamped in its jaws and dragged him towards a nearby hole in the ground. Mario made to follow, only for yet another thing to come out of nowhere- a very high-speed thing that knocked him several feet backwards and onto the ground, totally winded.
Looking up, his heart briefly failed as he saw what they had unwittingly wandered right into. A gigantic flower on the ground, but stretching up from that was a large, almost serpent-like body, except with scythe-like arms stretching out at random every few feet, stretching high, high into the air, supporting a head with a mismatched mouth and several eyes (placed randomly, of course) in a twisted, mass-of-green-flesh head. The Flaaghra- well, now Mario knew he was lucky, once again, to only have been backhanded- it could just as easily have cut him open.
Mario glanced frantically between the Flaaghra and hole at its roots that the beast was struggling to drag Link into- I say struggling because Link had, at the last second, stuck his leg out and caught onto one of the roots. However, his resistance (I've always wanted to say this) was futile, and with a loud crack, his leg gave out and was dragged into the hole along with the rest of him.
"Mario!" Zelda cried. "We have to go back- the Master Hand!"
"No time," Mario grunted as he ran forward, only to be backhanded again. "That thing could eat him by the time we get there!"
"Mario, how are we going to get in without help?" Zelda asked, giving a grunt as she, too, got a backhand.
"If that wolf can get in there, we can!" Mario shouted back. He began making a run towards the roots, ducking under several of the Flaaghra's flailing arms. Nearby, he saw a flash of blue as Zelda took on the form of Sheik, presumably for better agility, before taking off after him, tucking and rolling and using all sorts of ninja tricks to follow, but they still weren't having much luck- the arms would periodically send them flying backwards, away from their goal.
"This is ridiculous!" Mario grumbled. Desperate, he summoned a handful of fire and tossed it at the Flaaghra itself- he knew it was valuable to the Smash Bros., but not as valuable as Link was to him, so screw it. Not that it mattered anyways- the fire seemed to be absorbed by the monstrous creature, only annoying it.
Zelda made an effort to toss several needles at their adversary, but they didn't fare much better than Mario's fire had, only succeeding in agitating the thing. "We need help!" she cried. "Somebody! Help us!"
As though her prayers were being answered, the Flaaghra suddenly froze where it writhed. Looking around, the three attempted to locate whoever had done it, only to see Simba the Meowth, placing a forepaw up on a small spot on the flower serving as the Flaaghra's base, which Mario couldn't have separated from the others by any stretch at all, but which seemed to have frozen the thing in place. Simba was looking back at them with an almost smug smirk on his face.
"How-" Zelda started.
"He's friends with that freaking wolf," Mario muttered. "I've seen them together."
However, the two of them didn't have much more time to talk- they sprinted into the hole at the Flaaghra's roots and began sprinting across it.
It was a long, dark, tunnel that, if we're going by the video game, was loaded with wels and salamanders, but the game's weird, so we're just going to ignore it for now. The two of them sprinted down a long, dark hallway formed mainly of earth and roots- it was clearly made in much more of a hurry than the passage Mario had been utilizing that ran from the library to Toad's Candy Shop. But, just like that passage, this one stretched on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on...
Eventually, Zelda asked the question that Mario had been wondering himself. "I don't suppose you know where this comes out, do you?"
"Not exactly," Mario gasped, struggling to breath as their run continued to stretch on and on. And on and on. "I mean, it is on the Bomber's Guide to the Smash Mansion, but that thing didn't necessarily show where all the paths actually went. All I know is that it looked like it goes with the others to Kurain...
At some point, Simba managed to outstrip them and begin leading them down the hole, periodically looking back to make sure he hadn't lost them. It was almost as bad as that series of 'And climbings' that they'd gone through all those chapters ago.
And so it came to be that the two of them breathed a sigh of relief as the passage finally began to slope upwards- bad for their air-loving lungs, but good for the fact that they were finally reaching the end.
Finally, they reached a door of some sort, complete with knob. Turning it caused the wall it was set in to spin around, depositing the two of them in a room of some sort. Looking around, it was probably the dustiest room they'd ever seen, as though the building it belonged to had been abandoned for years. The walls were made out of wood, and there was no furniture- or much of anything else you'd associate with a room, for that matter. No windows, no real doors, no lights, no refrigerator, no anything. As they stepped forward, they heard a grinding noise and spun around to see the wall they'd come from spinning around again, revealing the only real homely touch in the room- a small fireplace.
"This room is huge," Zelda commented, examining it closely. "What could possibly need a room this big?"
"Hard telling," Mario muttered. A feeling of dread was starting to take him. "Zelda," me said quietly, "doesn't this place look a little like..."
"Spooky's House of Jumpscares?" Zelda asked, betraying her own nervousness in her voice. "Why, yes, yes it does."
The two of them jumped as, suddenly, they heard a low moaning coming from higher up in the building, drawing their attention to a set of stairs nearby- a set of stairs where the dust had been disturbed, leaving a long stripe heading up it.
Without thinking, the two of them ran up the stairs and to an upper floor- where everything was just as large as down below. However, their attention was directed to the much smaller room at the very end, which they ran into to see a room furnished much better than the rooms before- it contained a few closets and even a few beds- one of which Link was leaning back in even as they entered.
"Link!" Mario gasped. "Where is it? Where's the wolf?"
"No wolf," Link grumbled, still struggling to keep hold of his cucoo even as he was clearly panicking and in pain from his leg- propped up at an awkward angle on the bed itself. "I mean, he's the wolf, but he's a slider!"
Mario was about to make a comment about how, shockingly, Samus's earlier prediction had come true, but the words froze in his mouth as he turned and his eyes fell on the man at the other end of the room.
Time had not been kind to him. His red hair had grown out long, and unkempt, causing it to fall to somewhere around the middle of his back in long, matted tangles. He was wearing rags compared the blue armor Mario had seen on him in pictures from the past, and his skin gave the impression that he was less a human being and more of a skeleton with skin stretched across it. But there was no mistaking it- he was face-to-face with Roy Alluvia at last.
"I knew you would come," he croaked- his voice seemed like he wasn't particularly used to using it. "Sorry to disappoint you, by the way, but despite what I look like, I'm at full health." With this, he raised a sword that they recognized as Link's power controller. The blade briefly lit up and fired a beam of sorts at them- Mario's hat and Zelda's gloves flew off of them, and Roy stepped forward to catch them.
"Yes, I knew you would come," Roy repeated. "You show a loyalty for your friend just like what your father showed for me- glad to see the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree."
Mario once again heard the rising-teapot-whistle noise that he commonly associated with Link about to flip his lid- but it wasn't Link, not this time. Mario wanted his hat back, and for the first time in his life, not because he wanted to defend himself- because there was someone in the room he hated, someone he wanted to attack, to burn, to kill. His hands trembled in pure fury, and he began to step forward, fire burning in his eyes.
Link and Zelda both acted at once- Zelda stepped forward to pull Mario back, but Link attempted to stand, saying, "You want to kill Mario? You'll have to go through us!"
Roy shook his head. "Save your strength, Mr. Faron," he said quietly. "You'll need it to get back to the mansion from here. You're not dying here, after all."
"Didn't you hear what I said?" Link growled, still struggling to stand- struggles that weren't going particularly well. "You want to hurt Mario, you'll have to go through us first!"
"Only one person's dying here," Roy shook his head.
"THEN IT'LL BE YOU!" Mario shouted, breaking free from Zelda's grip and tackling Roy head-on. Reason had been steadily seeping out of his head for the past few minutes. The fact that Roy was an adult, while he was still struggling to grow out his moustache? Gone. The fact that Roy had three power controllers compared to Mario's zero? Gone. The fact that Roy was a notorious mass-murderer responsible for the deaths of twelve muggles and two smashers, while Mario was still struggling to make a Ha Ha Ha properly? Gone. All that remained was this man's betrayal of his parents, his betrayal of their trust.
Mario didn't know if it was because Roy would never have expected him to do something so stupid or what, but by the time Roy made any effort to direct any of the power controllers at Mario, Mario was already on top of him, repeatedly slamming his fists into his face. "You were their friend!" he shouted, punctuating his blows with shouts. "And you betrayed them! THEY WERE YOUR FRIENDS!"
Finally, Roy recovered enough from the initial shock to fight back- he brought down the hilt of Link's sword on Mario's head, sending him reeling back, and giving him enough time to grab him around the throat with his bony hands.
"I've come too far to fail now!" Roy growled, eyes almost as wild as when he'd attacked Rosalina. "I've been coming towards this moment all year, and nobody's going to stop me now, not even you!"
What followed was a wrestling match for the century, as Zelda aimed a kick at Roy's head, knocking the various power controllers out of his possession and across the ground. Before Roy could stand, Link dove forward and tackled him, trying his best to avoid using his leg. Mario, still on the ground away from the match going on in front of him, turned and began making his way towards his hat. Fury rose in his heart as he saw Simba the Meowth crossing the floor towards the same target. All mercy gone from his heart, Mario aimed a kick at the feline, causing him to leap back, hissing and spitting. Mario grabbed onto his hat and spun around, flames stretching across his entire body in his fury. "OUT OF THE WAY!" he shouted at his friends, and, seeing the state he was in, both Link and Zelda dove as far away from Roy as they could. This made Mario come back to his senses a little, and the flames died down to the point that it was just a fireball in his hand. He leapt forward and tackled Roy again.
"Why so eager to keep everyone else alive all of a sudden, huh?" Mario bellowed. "Didn't care so much about collateral damage back when you were killing off your other friends, did you?!"
Roy, incredibly, remained calm throughout this. "You really plan on killing me, Mario?" he asked, eyes not even on the fire in his assailant's hand, but on his face. "That doesn't sound much like you at all..."
"YOU KILLED MY PARENTS!" Mario shouted.
"Well, that's not as far from the truth as it could be," Roy muttered. "But I'm afraid there's a little more to it than that. Stupid truth, always resisting simplicity, right?"
"I don't care how complicated you think it was!" Mario shouted. "It still boils down to you fingering my parents to Tabuu!"
He was preparing to throw his fireball, but was stopped as Simba stepped forward and casually sat down on Roy's face, turning to gaze up at Mario with his feline eyes.
"Get off," came Roy's voice from under Simba's butt. But Simba refrained from doing so, simply gazing up, looking less afraid or defiant and more simply interested in the fire in Mario's hand.
Mario felt his will waver a bit, but then it came back- this thing had been helping Roy all along! Why should he care? If it wanted to die, too, that only knocked two traitors out for the price of one!
And then came a strangled sob from Zelda, and Mario felt a sort of guilt in his chest. He didn't want to hurt Zelda like this, but the cat ('pokemon,' he subconsciously added,) had brought this on himself, hadn't he? It wasn't like Mario had put this cat here so he could incinerate it.
And Simba continued looking up at him, his eyes more interested than anything. Not telling him to attack or to not to, but purely fascinated to see what he would do.
For a few moments that seemed like a few millennia, they all sat their in their frozen positions- Zelda on the ground, Link leaning against the wall, and Mario torn between attacking Roy and not.
Now that he thought about it, did he really want to kill Roy? Silly question- he'd betrayed both his parents- but at the same time, since when had Mario become an executioner? If he really did this, was he really any better than that woman, Dahlia? Such were the philosophical debates raging in his head as they all sat there, unmoving.
Abruptly, from the lower floors, they all heard the grinding of gears that signified the secret passage opening up, and the quick footsteps that heralded someone else's arrival. Zelda jumped on the opportunity, calling out, "Come quick! We're up here! The room on the top floor! We need help- Roy Alluvia!"
Mario very briefly glanced at the doorway, before rounding back on Roy. The fire in his hand began to burn brighter- it was now or never. And yet, still, he couldn't quite bring himself to do it...
The door behind them crashed open, there was a flash of light, and Mario's hat went sailing off his head, extinguishing the fire in his hand. He spun around to see Fox standing in the doorway, blaster out. As he watched Fox fired the blaster twice more, causing Zelda's gloves and Link's sword, so recently reclaimed by their owners, to fly through the air and into his hand. Mario felt a sinking sensation in his stomach. It was too late. He hadn't done it. He'd failed to avenge his parents.
This sinking feeling briefly blinded him to the other things happening, as Simba leapt off of Roy's face and Roy himself began pulling himself to his feet. He finally tuned back in to reality as Fox stepped forward, his blaster aimed directly at Roy's heart. "About time the flesh reflects the madness within, Roy," he said, finger tight on the trigger.
Roy's eyes were flicking apprehensively between Fox's face and his finger on the trigger. "Well, I can't think of anyone more familiar with the madness within than you," he said.
Fox's eyes narrowed, his finger tightening, and then... "Where is he, Roy?"
Mario could make neither heads nor tails of this question, but it seemed to mean a great deal to Roy- an expression of relief filtered over his face, and he slowly brought up a finger to point over at Link. Nonplused, Mario turned to look at Link as well- Link, however, looked just as bewildered and mystified as everyone else present.
Once again, the one who didn't look at all confused was one of the adults standing there- an expression of comprehension was spreading across Fox's face. "But then- that would mean... Holy Wave Existence!" Fox gasped, stepping back and almost dropping his blaster. "You didn't- you switched- and didn't tell me?"
"Sorry, we thought you were the starman," Roy shrugged. "Probably would have saved me quite a bit of grief, huh?"
"I'd say," Fox gave a small smile, and suddenly stepped forward, and the two of them embraced like brothers.
Mario's heart dropped into his socks. Nothing could have prepared him for this. But as shocked as he felt, he wasn't the one to say anything- no, that honor belonged to Zelda.
"NO!" she cried. "I TRUSTED YOU! I BELIEVED IN YOU! I SPENT SOME TIME COVERING UP FOR YOU, AND... AND..."
"Zelda, please calm-" Fox started, but Zelda broke out again.
"ALL THIS TIME, YOU'VE BEEN HIS FRIEND!"
"Not quite," Fox shook his head, raising his hands. "It's been a while since I've been Roy's friend, and not this year for sure."
"Don't listen to him, Mario!" Zelda cried, appealing to the red-clothed pyromancer. "He's been helping Roy get into the mansion all year, he wants you dead as much as he does! He's... he's... HE'S A WERECREATURE!"
For a moment, Zelda's words hung in the air. Slowly, Fox began to speak. "How long did you know?" His face looked shocked, but his words were calm.
"Since Wolf set his werecreature essay," Zelda said, fury in her face. "After he did, I started noticing things... whenever you were on one of your 'extended leaves of absence,' it was always around the full moon. And your Tane-Tane- it's a full moon, isn't it?"
Fox sighed. "Well, Wolf should be happy- that was the point behind the essay, of course. He was hoping someone would notice. But, I'm afraid you've only got one of three, Zelda- I haven't been helping Roy in, and while it's true that I want Mario dead as much as he does, it would really be more accurate to say that he doesn't want Mario dead any more than I do. But... there's no point denying it at this point- I am, indeed, a werecreature. Wrong on a couple points, but you really are one of the cleverest smashers of your age I've ever known."
"Not clever enough, obviously," Zelda growled. "I should have told everyone what was going on."
"Well, don't worry about that, they already know," Fox shrugged. "Well, the other teachers, at least."
"The Master Hand knew?!" Link cried, staring at him. "The Master Hand knew what you were, and he still hired you?! That's insane, he'd have to be worse than the Crazy Hand to-"
"Well, quite a few of the teachers thought he was," Fox acknowledged. "It took quite a bit of convincing before a lot of the teachers accepted that I could be trusted-"
Once again, Fox found himself being interrupted- this time by Mario. "AND THEY WERE WRONG! YOU'VE BEEN HELPING THAT TRAITOR THE WHOLE TIME!"
As he was speaking, Roy made his way over to one of the beds and took a seat, just in time for Simba, who hopped up onto his lap and began nuzzling him.
Fox sighed. "I haven't been helping him, and things are much more complicated than you know- and I am aware that you know quite a bit." Seeing that none of them seemed willing to listen quite yet, he sighed. "Alright, have it your way- this place is burger king." He raised up Mario's hat, and tossed it to its owner, he tossed Link's sword to its corresponding swordsman, and he tossed Zelda both her gloves and his own blaster. "There you go, you're all armed, we aren't. Now will you listen?"
Mario didn't know what to think at this point- the heck was going on? However, he gave a sigh. "Alright, Q&A time- answer our questions, and we'd better like the answers! First question: if you haven't been helping Roy into the mansion, then how did you know we were here in the first place?"
"Easy," Fox noted. "The Bomber's Guide to the Smash Mansion. I figured you would-"
"Wait, you know how to work it?" Mario asked suspiciously.
"Well, I already knew it was a Guide, what made you think I wouldn't know how to work it, too?" Fox asked. "But yes, of course I do- I mean, I helped to make it, after all!"
"You helped-"
"Of course," Fox said, starting to sound impatient. "I'm Mr. Hyde- I was one of the Bombers in school- that's what your father, Roy, Louie, and I called ourselves in school! Captain America, Strider, Spaceman Spiff, and Mr. Hyde! Anyways, that's not the point! The point is, I figured you would be making your way down to be with Crazy at Epona's execution- and I wasn't wrong, was I? I couldn't count on seeing you myself, I figured you'd be using the blanket-"
"You know about the blanket, too?" Mario gasped.
"Friend... with... your... father," Fox slowly enunciated, acting slightly out of character in his impatience. "Of course I knew about it! The point is, the Bomber's Guide shows everyone in the mansion, regardless of the disguise they use, so that's what I was using to try and track you down. I saw you go into Crazy's cabin, and then, to my astonishment, when you exited, you were traveling with... an extra guest, shall we say."
This was the most unbelievable thing Mario had heard yet. "What are you talking about? It was just the three of us that left Crazy's cabin!"
Fox didn't seem to be listening- he was pacing, a hand lifted to his chin. "I'll admit, it really threw me off, seeing that name there- how could he be with you?"
"'He' wasn't!" Mario objected. "I'm pretty sure we'd have noticed-"
"And then came a dot labeled Roy Alluvia, who tackled Link and dragged two of you into the Flaaghra..."
"One of us!" Link shouted. "Roy only caught one of us!"
"Only one of you?" Fox asked, raising an eyebrow as he turned at last to face them. "I'm disappointed, Link, do you really think so little of your cucoo?"
Everyone froze, eyes falling on Oreo, who was back to being clenched in Link's hands. "W-what are you talking about?" Link asked, his eyes wide. "Okay, I guess Oreo could count as a fourth... er, person... but why would that matter to you?"
"A good question, but he matters a great deal to me," Fox affirmed. "If you could hand him over..."
Oreo was back to writhing and struggling to free himself from Link's grip, leading to Link redoubling said grip to prevent him from escaping. With a quiet hiss, Simba suddenly stood from Roy's lap and headed over to the door, sitting down as if intent on preventing the cucoo from escaping.
Fox moved towards Oreo, examining him closely. "So, it really is true. Intriguing..."
"What is your weird fascination with my cucoo?" Link objected. "Back off, werecreature!"
Fox, wincing slightly, did indeed back off a bit. Roy, however, stood, fire stirring in his eyes as he growled, "Not a cucoo."
"What do you mean, he's not a cucoo?" Link gasped, staring at him. "What else could he be?"
"A slider," Roy growled. "A smasher who turned himself into a cucoo- a smasher by the name of-"
Suddenly, Mario, who'd been reading through Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban as fast as he could for the past few seconds put the pieces together and stood, saying, "Oh, let me guess, it's Louie, right?"
Nobody could tell if he was being sarcastic or not, but it didn't seem to matter to Roy, who turned on him, saying, "What? Of course not! You fool, LOUIE IS DEAD!"
XXXX
And with that Lovecraft reference (a nigh repeat of the last line of the short story, The Statement of Randolph Carter,) I leave you to the middle of this story. A couple notes- we don't have any questions today, but I did fail to answer one of FelineWithin's questions last chapter- namely, the Ha Ha Has are named for a collectopaedia item in Xenoblade. As anyone who's played that game could probably tell, Riki's the one who named it. Also, good news and bad news- the bad news first. The next chapter is probably going to be short. I mean, really short. Like, less than half the size of the usual Mario Mario chapter short. Now, on the flipside of this, this also means it will be pretty quick in coming- I should be ashamed if I can't get it up tomorrow, or at least on Tuesday. So, keep an eye out for that, and in the meantime, please R&R, constructive criticism embraced, flames not so much, Gamer4 out!