NEW YEAR'S EVE
The day was sneaking up fast on Tom and Sasha. Tom had finalized all the plans for the wedding and the honeymoon just before Christmas. He had some friends getting the Nathan James ready for their wedding, and Mike, Andrea, Danny, and Kara were taking care of the after party that would take place at Danny and Kara's house. They insisted on having it there so Tom and Sasha could go home that evening, alone, and just enjoy the night before leaving the next day on their honeymoon.
On New Year's Eve, Sasha found herself feeling just not like herself. Kind of like the day's dreary weather. Tom had taken the kids out for a special treat, so she invited Kara over for lunch, hoping that talking to someone would help her shake the feeling. When Kara arrived, she didn't knock, just opened the door and walked right on in. "Where's Frankie?" Sasha asked Kara as she took her jacket off. "I left him with his daddy. I could tell by your voice you needed someone to talk to, not the distraction of a toddler." Kara said with a smile. "What's going on?"
Sasha sat down on the couch with a glass of wine. "Isn't it a little early?" Kara said to Sasha. Her eyes telling Kara that no, it wasn't. "What's wrong, Sasha? Talk to me." Kara sat down beside Sasha. "I don't know. Everything has been great, the holidays were great, things between us are great, I don't know what it is, but I just feel so down and out today." Sasha hung her head. She couldn't understand why she was feeling this way, but Kara thought maybe she did.
Kara held Sasha's hand and passed her a smile as she said, "Sasha, it's ok. Everything you guys have been through, and you've been through hell, you have survived! No matter what, you always found your way back to each other." Sasha raised her head to look at her friend as Kara continued. "But. everything we dreamed about years ago, the way we dreamed life would be, is nothing like what we are actually living. We have all lost so much. You and Tom both lost a spouse, family members, people who you would want to share this kind of joy with and it's ok to be sad about that. But don't let it ruin your happiness. No one would ever want that to happen. Darien would be happy Tom found you. Your husband would be happy you found Tom. Your parents, his parents, they would ALL want you guys to be happy and to make the best of what is left of this world."
Sasha knew Kara was right. She thought of the last time she'd spoken to her parents, just before leaving for Asia. They were so happy she'd found love, but what they never knew was who her true love really was. She remembered talking to her new husband about having kids when she returned from Asia, not knowing that would be their last conversation. Kara put a hand on Sasha's shoulder as a tear rolled down her face. "It's ok to miss them." Sasha gave Kara a hug as she allowed the tears to fall silently.
After Kara had left, Sasha decided she needed to get out of the rut she was in. She went to take a shower and get dressed to go to town. She was surprised to find a note from Tom in the bathroom drawer with her hairbrush. I cannot wait to begin the rest of our lives together. I know things won't always be easy with us, they never have been, but nothing worth fighting for ever comes easy.I promise to always be there for you, to fight for you. You are the love of my life. I wouldn't want to carry on without you. I love you so much.
After reading that, the tears flowed freely. Sasha was moved by Tom's sincere words. She couldn't help but wonder to herself. When did he write this? She held that piece of paper close as she attempted to dry the tears. A part of her wanted him home right then, to hold her are tell her everything was going to be ok, but she knew he was doing something special with the kids. She pulled herself together and got ready to head to town.
Later that evening, Tom could tell something was on Sasha's mind. After the kids went to pack for the next week at Danny and Kara's and to get ready for bed, Tom grabbed Sasha from behind into a tight hug, kissed her neck and whispered, "What's wrong?" He had been able to read her face since the moment he got home. He knew something was bothering her, but didn't know what. Sasha didn't want to answer him. The feel of his arms around her told her everything was ok, but she knew she didn't need to hide it.
"Tom, I've just had a rough day. Thinking about everyone we've lost. Our spouses, parents, friends who won't be here to share in our special day." Sasha paused a moment, drawing strength to keep going from Tom's embrace. "I will never get to tell my parents that I found my true love, and that I'm happier than I ever imagined I would be." Tom spun Sasha around to face him. Noticing the tears falling from her eyes, he wrapped his arms tightly around her. As he held her Sasha continued. "Earlier, I was having a really rough day. Kara came over and we talked for a bit. After she left, I found your note in the bathroom drawer. I don't know how you knew, but those words were everything I needed to hear today." Sasha raised her head from Tom's chest and looked into his eyes. He smiled down at her, then gently kissed her head. "And I mean every single word I said." Tom whispered. "I know you do. And that makes me love you even more." Sasha said to Tom as she tenderly kissed his lips. She took Tom by the hand and led him towards the bedroom. "Let's go to bed. We have a very big day tomorrow." A wink from her teary eye let Tom know everything WOULD be ok.