**A/N: WHO ELSE IS SHOOK THAT I JUST UPDATED TWICE IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS?! Ok, to be fair, Peggy's funeral AND the UN scene was already written so that was easy lol.

Chapter 21- Resistance

/rəˈzistəns/ noun. the refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.

Bethany let out a deep breath, looking at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She had scouted it out as soon as they got to the church. Her stomach had been queasy since she woke up early that morning, but this was the first time that her morning sickness resulted in anything but nausea. Her reflection wasn't pretty. She looked just as sick as she felt. She carefully splashed some water on her face to cool it down, trying not to ruin her makeup in the process. She had to get up in front of the entire church and say a speech in honor of Peggy. Bethany didn't want to look like she was about to pass out.

Opening her bag, she took out her toothbrush and paste and cleaned her mouth. She wasn't sure how long Sharon's memorial speech was supposed to be, but she didn't want to keep them waiting. She felt bad for missing Sharon's words, but she felt like shit. She felt sick, tired and frustrated with the entire world, but she had to go up and do this for Peggy. Peggy would do it for her in worse conditions, that much she knew. Even when Peggy was angry at Bethany, she would have done it.

With everything else going on, Bethany hadn't had the proper amount of time to really absorb that Peggy was gone. That she would never again see or talk to her oldest and truest friend. It was a lot to process. Bethany knew Peggy deserved her full attention. To mourn her properly. But Bethany's life was falling into pieces and she was helpless to do anything but watch. She was finally pregnant, but it didn't seem to matter right now. It wasn't as joyous and happy anymore. Even with Steve telling Bethany that he wouldn't break the rules of the Accords, she had spent the last few days in a panic. She knew he would. She knew that something would happen and he would spring into action, not worrying about the end results. Bethany couldn't decide if she was the selfish one in that situation, or if he was. But even though Steve had asked her multiple times what she wanted him to do, she couldn't say. Because she didn't know. What she wanted—for him to retire because he wanted to and stay retired—wasn't a road for them to follow. And for Steve to think it was made him naïve, in her opinion.

But if she told him to sign, she knew they'd get in a disagreement. And if by some small miracle he agreed, he'd resent her to some level. She didn't want that. So she told herself that the only thing she realistically could do was find every possible way to keep Steve away from the action and safe in their home.

"I'm sorry Peg," Bethany mumbled under her breath after she brushed her teeth. She took out her makeup bag and did some touch ups before she quickly packed everything up and made her way back out. Everyone seemed to be waiting for her, no one standing at the podium. She picked up her pace, dropping her bag on her seat before moving up to the podium. Looking out at the crowd, she knew everyone. And they all knew her too. She felt like they were all looking at her and thinking about different things. Some knew her as the fearless agent. Some as a playful woman. Some as a loving wife and mother. Some were expecting her to break down.

She wasn't. She wouldn't cry because Peggy was gone. Peggy was in pain. She had been suffering everyday. But now she was free. She deserved that after everything. The first time Bethany had a conversation with Peggy where it was clear that she was drifting away, she shed a few tears afterwards. Peggy had kept talking to Bethany like she didn't know who Bethany was. As if Bethany was some stranger who didn't know the details of her life. But Bethany knew it all. Even the classified ones. And she had to smile through it all, trying not to show that her heart was breaking inside. But today, she would be strong. She had practiced hiding her pain for Peggy's sake time and time again. Today, she would be strong because she knew that Peggy would want that from her.

Bethany let out deep breath, her eyes finding their way to Steve. He was in the front row, Sam on one side, the other side empty, waiting for Bethany to return, and Jamie sleeping in his lap. Steve gave her a comforting nod, reassuring her. "I've known Peggy…" She chuckled, looking at the podium for a second. "I tried to write something out. To put my relationship and… and my admiration for her into words, but to have something prepared seemed wrong. Because what I could have written on hotel stationary wouldn't do her justice."

She twisted the wedding rings around her finger, finding her next words. "I've known Peggy longer than anyone else in this room. She was… my rock whenever I needed someone to hold me straight. She told me when I was being stupid. She gave me purpose in my life. But she didn't just help me. When I first met Peggy, I was jealous," Bethany admitted with a watery smile. "She was beautiful and strong and had achieved more than I had. Then she told me that she was jealous of me. Because she thought that I had achieved more than she had. It was all in fair perspective. But I knew that I wanted to be strong like her.

"I wanted to fight in a way women were only recently encouraged to fight. I could barely throw a punch. But for decades, she was an inspiration not just to me, but to so many women. I look around today, and I see your faces and I know that she inspired you like she inspired me. She was a wonderful woman. But we shouldn't be sad by her death. She lived a long life. I know, because I was there with her for so much of it. She had a successful career, a loving husband, children. She lived her life to the fullest and her last few years made her feel like a prisoner in her own body. Her own mind. I'm happy that she's free. And while I'll miss her, I had a lifetime with her. To ask for anymore from her would be wrong."

Bethany turned to Peggy's casket, looking at it for a moment before adding one more final thought. "Thank you Peggy for everything you've ever done for me and this world. You deserve your peace."

A soft, caring applause began as Bethany moved to step down. Before she returned to her seat, she laid a hand on Peggy's casket, giving it the softest of smiles before sitting beside her husband.

After the rest of the mourners had left the church, Bethany and Steve remained, still in their pew, looking at the photograph of Peggy. Jamie was on the floor, watching Hercules on Steve's phone while Bethany's head was leaning against Steve's arm. They were quiet, content in their silent mourning. Bethany was so tired, she felt like death. The very idea of moving or talking seemed impossible. What she really wanted to do was for Steve to take her home and tuck her into bed. To sleep until her exhaustion was conqueror. But the click-clack of Natasha's heels reminded Bethany that her day had just begun.

"You two okay?" She asked when she reached their pew.

"I think we're both blinded by how hard this is," Steve told her. "It feels as if a key to our past is gone and never coming back."

"It feels as if while moving forward, we forgot to look back," Bethany whispered, taking in a deep breath at the end. She wanted a giant cup of coffee.

"After everything happened with SHIELD, during my little hiatus," Natasha confiding to her peers. "I went back to Russia and tried to find my parents. Two little gravestones by a chain-linked fence. I pulled some weeds and left some flowers. We have what we have when we have it."

They were all quiet for a moment, thinking about who they lost and how they took them for granted. "Who else signed?" Steve asked.

"Tony. Rhodey. Vision," Natasha enlightened.

"Clint?"

With a smirk, she replied with "Says he's retired."

"Wanda?" Steve continued.

"TBD," Natasha revealed. "We're headed off to Vienna. There's plenty of room on the jet, Steve." Steve sighed, bowing his head. "Just because it's the path of least resistance doesn't mean it's the wrong path. Staying together is more important than how we stay together."

Bethany noticed that her last sentence seemed to be more to convince herself than Steve. "What are we giving up to do it?" Steve challenged lightly, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, Nat. I can't sign it."

"I know," Natasha admitted. "Bethany? You still coming?"

"Yeah," she whispered, pulling herself out of her seat. "I'll be out in a minute, okay?" Natasha nodded before leaving. Bethany didn't say anything until the Black Widow had left the church. "You're still okay with me going?"

"Absolutely," Steve promised, taking her hands in his and kissing them lightly. "I respect your decision like you're respecting mine."

"We're getting good at this," Bethany teased him with what little energy she had. "Disagreeing, but living peacefully with our different opinions."

"It's almost like we've had a lot of practiced," Steve replied lightly, winking at her. "Don't stay too long. You're clearly exhausted."

"Yeah," she agreed. "But I need to do this. I wish I didn't, but I do. For our kids. And you can't go play nice because that'll just be like rubbing your nose in their faces."

"Go," Steve encouraged. "Don't keep them waiting."

Bethany leaned down, kissing him softly before giving him and Jamie a word of goodbye.

After Bethany left, Steve took one last look at Peggy's photo before telling himself 'enough' and scooping Jamie up in his arms. When he left the church, Sam was outside, patiently waiting for Steve. "You didn't have to wait," Steve told him. "Thanks," he quickly added.

"I'm hear for you, man," Sam reminded him. "The wake is just down the street, in that little bar."

Steve nodded, readjusting Jamie so he sat more comfortable on his arm before they began down the street. "Thanks for coming."

"I know what it's like to bury an old partner-in-crime. It's not easy. Not even if you were expecting it," Sam began. "So Bethany's going, huh?"

"She's not signing," Steve explained. "She just feels like it's best if she goes and plays nice. And I don't have a problem with that. She believes that this will be best for our family."

"Sucks that they want Jamie to sign when he's older," Sam muttered. "Sucks that anyone who falls into the description of enhanced human has to comply."

"When Jamie is old enough, he can make his own decision," Steve said, looking at his son quickly. "What bothers me is that we just can't give him a normal childhood."

When they entered the bar, they headed straight for the drinks. "Daddy, I'm sleepy," Jamie yawned, holding Steve's phone out. Steve took it and slip it into his pocket, kissing his blond curls.

"Sleep against my shoulder," Steve told him softly before ordering a drink.

It took a few moments, the bartender a bit overwhelmed with all the orders, but by the time Steve picked up his glass, Jamie had once again fallen asleep in Steve's arms. "Here's to an honourable discharge," Sam toasted, the two men clinking their glasses together.

"You sure you're okay with this?" Steve asked after taking a sip.

"Ah, I'm not worried about me. I make a great civilian," Sam reassured. "You could too. As long as you don't convince yourself you're doing the right thing by doing the wrong thing."

"You sound like Beth," Steve sighed. "Does everyone really doubt me that badly?"

"No, we just know you that well. Take a break from it all. Spend some time with your family. Maybe make some new little rug rats. You want my advice?"

"I know you're going to share it anyways," Steve smiled.

"Move," Sam said seriously. "Move away. Far away. Where you're living now? It's too close to the action. You'll be tempted. Do what Clint has done and set up a life far away from everything. That way, even if you're tempted, it won't be as easy to jump right back in."

"That's not a bad idea," Steve admitted.

"Well, one was bound to come around sometime," Sam laughed.

"Captain Rogers," a female voice called out beside him. Turning Steve smiled at Sharon. "Thanks again for today."

"Anything for Peggy," Steve replied before Sam's phone started to ring.

"Excuse me, Kiley's calling," Sam said before walking away.

"Someone seems exhausted," Sharon spoke, brushing a curl away from Jamie's sleeping face.

"Yeah, I think it's because of all the screaming he did on the way over here," Steve revealed. "He does not like to fly. I don't know why it scares him so much, but he hates it."

"Why don't we sit down?" Sharon suggested. "That way you don't need to juggle him while standing."

Steve agreed with a nod of his head before they moved to a cozy table for two. "CIA got you stationed over here now?" he asked, taking another sip of his drink.

"Berlin," Sharon smiled. "Working for the Joint Terrorism Task Force."

"Sounds fun," he smiled back.

"I know, right?" Sharon looked out the window for a moment. "So this Accords thing is happening?"

"I'm supposed to take some time off. Retire," Steve explained.

Sharon's laugh startled Steve. "When was the last time there wasn't a uniform hanging in your close?"

Steve's brows raised in an amused smile. "Now you sound like everyone else."

"I'm just saying," Sharon began, putting her arms up in a gesture of defence. "It's not in your nature to back down from a fight."

"No, but this time I'm backing down to be with my family," Steve admitted. "Everyone keeps telling me that I'm going to jump back in, and I can't help but wonder if they all think I'm a bad husband and father."

"I don't think the two are related," Sharon spoke softly. "I imagine you do the best you can. The way they love you is a reflection on how you love them. But love and duty? Those are two very different paths."

Steve nodded, understanding Sharon's point. Just because he felt a duty to protect his country, his world, didn't mean he loved his family any less. They both gave him a sense of purpose. He just wasn't sure what he would do when his sense of duty called.

Bethany reached up to scratch the back of her head. Her bun was too tight and had been left in too long. Personally, she hated wearing buns. They always reminded her of her mother. They made her feel old and strict, and while she was technically old, she didn't look it. But she knew that the bun served a purpose that day. It was her duty to look professional, first with Peggy's funeral and now with the signing of the Accords. She needed to look calm and poised, serious. This was no laughing matter. There was no reason to smile. While the UN was happy about what was about to happen, Bethany wasn't all that sure that this would change much, if anything. Or maybe it would change everything, but that did not necessarily mean the change would be a positive one.

She felt as if all eyes were on her. But she knew for certain that it wasn't because of the bun, or even her mere presence. She was retired. She had no intentions of signing the Accords because it would force her to go out and fight or suffer the consequences when all she wanted to do was be at home with Jamie. Bethany was there because she felt that, like the bun, it was her duty. Taking responsibility of past actions and mistakes was something she had taken very seriously ever since Steve had gone under, and she felt that after New York, Washington, Sokovia and Lagos—even if she wasn't there for it—she needed to show the world that she was willing to fix those mistakes. This was the solution that governments from all around the world and millions of civilians wanted. Bethany had tried it her way. She couldn't deny them the chance to try it their way.

"Will you stop it?" She snapped quietly to a reporter standing by her. He looked caught off guard, obviously not realizing he was staring intently on her. All because he, just like everyone else in the room, was wondering why Steve wasn't there. Because despite the fact that they were getting the signatures of Iron Man, Black Widow, Iron Patriot and Vision, Captain America was a living legend. It was a shock and a disappointment to most to see that Steve, someone who was so morally driven, was refusing to sign the Accords. Bethany knew why. She understood and respected his decision. While she wished that Steve would have retired from his duties as Captain America for her and Jamie, and not because someone was forcing his hand, she was still excited for what their future would hold.

Scratching the back of her head again, she pushed her way through the crowds and into the washroom. The ceremony would be starting soon, so luckily, after looking under all the stalls, Bethany found the washroom empty. She let out a heavy sigh, leaning against one of the sinks to look at her reflection. She was paler than usual, but she chalked that up to circumstance. Other than that, she looked tired. Not happy, not sad. Not anything but tired. And it was true. It had been a rough couple of nights and a whirlwind of emotions. The vibration of her phone in her pocket took her away from her reflection.

"Hey babe," she answered with a soft smile.

"I just wanted to check up on you, Doll," Steve greeted. "Have they finished the ceremony yet?"
"They haven't even started," Bethany revealed. "Some politicians were late. Any minute now though."

"Has anyone said anything to you? Or hounded you?"

"Some stares, but besides the vultures outside, no one has said a word to me, to be honest. I think they're all afraid I'll throw them through a wall or something."

Steve's laugh made her smile, feeling warmth fill her body. "I'd be sorry to miss that. Beth, I'm sorry I couldn't come with you."

"You showing up and not signing would make Tony livid," Bethany pointed out to him. "I'm fine here. Although I am sorry I had to leave Peggy's wake. I just felt like I had to be here so that people would understand… I don't know. I don't even understand, I just felt like I had to be here."

"There's no need to explain it to me," Steve promised her.

"How's my little boy holding up?" Bethany asked, just wanting to be with Steve and Jamie right now.

"He fell asleep in my arms while Sharon and I were having a drink. He's still fast asleep now," Steve informed her.

"You still at the wake?"

"Yeah. I'm going to walk Sharon back to her hotel after she settles some final details here."

"And then home," Bethany finished with a fond smile before smiling.

"Bethany, there you are," Natasha said, poking her head into the washroom. "They're about to start."

"Okay, thanks. I'll be right there," she replied, watching as Natasha slipped back out. "Okay babe, they're about to start. I'll call you on my way home, okay? Love you."

She hung up when he repeated her sentiment and took one last look in the mirror. Taking in a deep breath, she reminded herself to not only look strong but to be strong. She had a role to play. She needed her strength, her wits and her sanity in order to get through this, especially if people continued to look at her and wonder where Steve was.

In reality, she was proud of him, all things considered. He never failed to stand up for what he believed in, but ironically, this time it meant sitting down. It was a huge step for him, one that Bethany had to appreciate fully. But what she was really worried about was something else worth standing up for coming along and Steve ignoring the fact that he couldn't very well do anything unless he signed the Accords, and even then, the UN may tell him to stand down.

When Bethany walked back into the room where they were holding the signing and the ceremony, it had already started. She quickly and quietly tip toed, taking the vacant seat beside Natasha, and paying attention to King T'Chaka.

"When stolen Wakandan vibranium was used to make a terrible weapon, we, in Wakanda, were force to question our legacy," he explained to the crowd. "Those men and women killed in Nigeria, were a part of a Goodwill mission from a country too long in the shuttles. We will not, however, let misfortune drive us back. We will fight to improve the world we wish to join."

Bethany couldn't help but smile softly. King T'Chaka had a knack for making speeches, evidentially. He was filling her with all this hope about a better future, and she wasn't even from Wakanda. She could only imagine how proud his people were of their King and his recent actions. "I am grateful to the Avengers for supporting this initiative. Wakanda is proud to extend its hand in peace."

Bethany was so enthralled by T'Chaka's speech that she was completely caught off guard when the King's son, T'Challa yelled "EVERYBODY GET DOWN!"

Bethany could barely follow his instructions before an explosion raked through the building, glass, debris and people flying every which way. Loosing her balance, she toppled over, hitting her head hard on the corner of one of the tables before darkness flooded over her.

PART TWO: DIVIDED WE FALL

"My mom tried to talk me out of enlisting, but, um, not Aunt Peggy," Sharon shared as they walked to the elevator in her hotel. "She bought me my first thigh holster."

"Very practical," Steve noted.

"And stylish," Sharon added with a smile before hitting the button to the elevator. "Thanks for walking me back."

"Sure," Steve nodded as the elevator arrived. Sharon was about to step in when Sam called out his name.

"There's something you gotta see." Any happiness he was able to gather while talking to Sharon disappeared by the look on Sam's face. His friend handing out his phone, the screen showing photos of a smoke-filled broken and injured people being carried out and into ambulances. Then, one last photo. A blurry security camera image of a man with a very recognizable face. "There was a bombing at the signing. They're saying it was Bucky."

Steve felt like he was going to be sick. His head was a nonstop swirl of Bethany and Bucky. He wasn't sure how he got into a hotel room, watching the news of the event, but he was. Jamie was no longer in his arms, but asleep on the couch as Steve and Sam watched the events and Sharon circled the room while on the phone.

Suddenly, regaining some sense, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Bethany's number. His heart pounded with every ring of the phone and just before he was about to throw it across the room with frustration, her beautiful voice answered: "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" Steve asked feeling all the air exit his body.

"Yeah, I feel okay," she said softly. "A bit banged up, but I'll be okay."

"Okay, I'm coming to get you," Steve told her.

"Don't," Bethany disagreed. "You'll just get yourself into trouble."

"Beth, I'm not just going to sit here!"

Her laughter through the speaker took him back. "Oh, my god. Are you kidding me? They literally just signed the Accords. I just-I.. Okay. Okay, call me when you get here."

Steve looked at the screen as call went dead, feeling more confused than he had in a while. Firstly, she was right. They had literally just signed these Accords and he was already planning on going against them. But of course he was. Bucky was involved. Everyone who was eligible to get Bucky wouldn't listen to his side. Wouldn't question his reasoning. Wouldn't take his past character, the fact that he had been an unwilling HYDRA experiment into account. If he didn't go out there and try to find him first, anything could happen.

But instead of getting angry, she accepted it? She only argued for a moment before accepting the fact that Steve was breaking the law, breaking his promise to her.

"I have to go to work," Sharon shared as she hung up the phone. "Need a lift?"

**A/N: The next chapter will have Bethany's side of the conversation just to give you an insight into her situation.

MommaWolf18: lol was this update soon enough? ;) AND YAY I'm glad you totally understood!

Purplestan: Yeah, it's a tough spot! Doing what he believes is right could very well break up his family.

Cleo9427: Oh my god, I'm sorry lol. I have Infinity War ALL planned out ;) I basically make an outline when I first see the movie and sit on the plot for a while before making my decision. I've sat on the plot for IW for a year now so I know what I want to do!