Melanie was going to have to wake up HM soon, she thought. She had an incipient need to tell him everything about her sister and Freddie… everything. But suddenly, she just wasn't interested in Freddie. She was interested in… Damn! This guy!
Well, regardless, she still wasn't going to stop her plans involving her sister and Freddie. She just needed to modify the plan a bit.
Three's A Crowd
21. Tripods and Poles
Carly thought about how she could get Gibby to Southern California. He was adamant about seeing this Dr. Krotchery, so…
Freddie sat on the edge of his bed. He'd had this strange idea brewing for the last few minutes, but he needed some more information. He could get it all from Sam…
Sam was just finishing her breakfast in bed. Freddie was actually amazed that the bed sheets were completely stain free. She normally managed to get food stains on whatever she was wearing, but not this morning. He grinned; he liked what he saw, since all she was 'wearing' was the sheets…
"So, Sam… You've got Mel hooked up with the head guy over at the hooligan outfit, right?" Freddie asked.
Sam took a sip of her coffee and nodded.
"Well, that was his idea, HM's… I was going to just let her hook up with Ivan, but HM asked me if I minded it being him instead. I guess he likes her or something." She replied.
"So, you mentioned that I should let you handle your sister… I'm curious, what is it that you need to do?" Freddie asked munching on his toast.
"Well, knowing Mel, I'm pretty sure that she'll still want to use you for a boy toy… or maybe not. I don't think she's ever had any of her guys actually care for her. Well have to see what she does." Sam said.
"Well, I've got this idea about how to put a stop to all this insanity…" Freddie said.
"Oh yeah? What big idea have you come up with?" Sam asked slightly sarcastically.
"Marry me." Freddie stated simply.
Carly knew that she would never be able to get Gibby on an airplane. Not like this, so they would have to drive. She and Gibby discussed it, and decided to take the 'nut mobile' since it was larger. If they took turns driving they could be at Dr. Krotchery's in about twenty hours.
Sam looked stunned…
"Marry you…" she mumbled.
"Yeah, marry me. I mean we already know each other. It's not like were strangers. Let's just… get it over with." Freddie said.
Sam began to smile…
"Do you know…" She started to say.
"So you will?" Freddie interrupted.
"… how pissed off Melanie would be! Hell yes! Let's do it!" Sam continued.
Freddie looked her up and down for a moment before he said:
"So, you're only going to marry me to make Mel mad?"
Sam was lost in thought, until he finished his question. She popped out of her reverie, got out of bed and smacked Freddie hard on the back of the head, then kissed him.
"Noooo ya nub. Pissing off Mel is just a plus. We would have gotten married anyway, eventually. Why not do it now when I can get in a little collateral damage with my sister! It's a huge win win!" Sam replied.
"When then?" Freddie grinned.
"Soon, and you don't even have to buy rings… got my grandmothers and grandfathers. C'mon, let's go tell Mel…" Sam said as she pushed Freddie into the bathroom so they could get ready.
Carly and Gibby got the car loaded up, gassed up and got on the road. Interstate 5 South… in a little less than a day they would be in Los Angeles, and hopefully, get Gibby 'fixed'.
Melanie was stunned… Hooliganus Maximus had just told her he loved her. She was staring right through him, waiting for what he'd just told her to process. She didn't know what to say… Finally, he looked at her, stammered a moment, and got up to leave. He turned the door handle and opened the door…
"WAIT!" Melanie called to him.
Freddie was waiting for Sam to finish getting ready to go. He wasn't sure he liked the reasons She was so… 'Enthusiastic', but he'd roll with it. He knew this would be where they ended up also. If Sam had ulterior motives, she wouldn't have agreed to marry him. Her motives were clear, out in the open. She did want to marry him. It seems just as much as he wanted to marry her. It was just that she had this side game going on, and, well… it was Sam…
HM turned back toward Melanie, who was still in bed. She looked at him for a moment, and then motioned for him to come back inside. He did. She patted a place beside her on the bed and asked him to sit. They had a lot to talk about.
Freddie parked his car in front of the Hooligan's building. They walked up to the door just in time to see the door open and Melanie and HM come out.
"We just came over to see you." Sam said to her sister.
"We were just on our way over to see you." Melanie replied.
They both stood, looking at each other for a moment and then both said at the same time:
"I'M GETTING MARRIED!"
Silence…
"You're getting married?" Melanie asked Sam.
"Uh huh! You too?" Sam asked.
They stared at each other for a moment, then suddenly embraced, shrieked and and began talking to each other about wedding plans. In a few more unintelligible moments they both went inside, ignoring their guys. HM and Freddie looked at each other, shrugged and followed them in.
Gibby and Carly pulled up and parked in front of Dr. Krotchery's office the next afternoon. They were both tired from the drive, but Gibby insisted on seeing the doctor right away. After a short while waiting in the reception area, Gibby was asked to step into the examination room, alone. Carly was a nervous wreck, but so tired she dozed off while waiting. Suddenly she awoke while being gently shaken by the nurse, who asked her to step into the examination room with the doctor and Gibby.
Bad news… the results of the use of that amount of Ukoo oil is irreversible. Gibby would be like this, forever…
The twins decided to have a dual ceremony right there at the Hooligan Building, with a reception to follow. Both HM and Freddie had fallen asleep in their chairs. Feverish planning was taking place. It's not a place for the faint of heart when the Puckett girls are planning…
Later that afternoon, Carly and Gibby were sitting in the sand at Venice Beach Park. Neither had said a word to each other since leaving the doctors office. Suddenly, Carly had an idea. She smiled, leaned over and whispered something into Gibby's ear. He suddenly had a huge grin that was only growing wider by the minute.
It was decided that Sam and Freddie would live in the former Puckett, and now Benson home. Melanie would move in to the Hooligan building to take over the duties of Hooligan Princes. Mel was so happy she nearly cried. The Hooligan Princes job included a tiara.
The two were billed as 'Tripod the Love God and the lovely Carlotta'. Gibby and Carly were the newest hit in all the strip clubs in the Southern California area. Carly did a pole dance, using only Gibby as her prop. It was the talk of the town.
Norm and Tasha were still just as before. They had already worked their way up to being the patron saints of the clueless.
The wedding went wonderfully, the reception even better. But afterward, Melanie complained that her honeymoon was 'shitty'. Sam never did say a word about it, but she had noticed that the box of teeth whitening powder was missing, and Mel's teeth were pearly white.
That's All Folks!
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