Chapter Twenty One
A/N: Thank you to Karli1252 for reviewing the last chapter.
A month had passed, a month of loneliness and drifting from day to day, and in that month Draco had hardly thought of anything but the awful decision he had made. He had chosen a man who was all but a violent stranger to him over the girl he loved. He had thought that he would feel guilty, betraying his own blood, but in doing so, he had forfeited any chance to apologise for the harm that had come to Merida and would live the rest of his life with an iron weight pressing down on his heart.
His first lesson of the day, Potions, would almost be finished by now, but still Draco sat in the common room, watching the flames flickering in the grate. He had no wish to leave the security of the 'snake pit', as its users deemed it, not when there were lions on the prowl in the corridors, lions he would rather not see given the events of the past months and the awful decisions he had made during them.
It had been almost a week since Merida had been deemed fit to leave St. Mungo's, but today was the first day she had been permitted to leave her bedroom and attend her classes. Draco had desperately wanted to see her, of course, to explain himself and apologise for what had happened to her, but he had no doubt that Professor McGonagall would have relayed every detail of their conversation to her daughter, twisted in a way to make it seem as if he were the villain. As such, he had decided to keep his distance for a while, as if by some miracle, that might improve matters.
By the time his third lesson came around, Professor Snape had come to find him. He listened to a lengthy lecture on timekeeping and the stupidity of skipping classes with as little interest as was required, then did his best to protect himself as he was dragged down corridors and staircases, and hurled into his Charms classroom. Other than a small squeak from Professor Flitwick and a few whispered giggles from a group of Gryffindor girls, no one seemed to notice his entrance and so Draco took his seat without a fuss.
Draco had scarcely retrieved a quill and roll of parchment from his bag before a flash of red caught his eye. The young man could not prevent a sigh from escaping his lips. Of all the people who had turned to look when the door had first burst open, Merida Ross had not been one of them. It was like she was lost in a world of her own, for she had spent most of the lesson staring unseeingly towards the blackboard.
One part of Draco was happy that Merida was ignoring him. It would make it so much easier just to put off that awful moment when he would have to face what he had done to her. But that moment would have to come, sooner or later, and the sooner it came, the sooner he would be able to move on with his life. There was only one question remaining to ask: did he really want to move on with his life, if she was not going to be a part of it?
When it was finally time for them to be dismissed from the lesson, after what had seemed to be an eternity of boredom, Draco was one of the first out of the door. However, he made a sudden decision to wait there, wanting to end this fracture in his friendship. Whether it mended itself or broke apart, he wanted an end to the silence.
And so he waited until that familiar flash of red appeared again. This time, Merida saw him clearly. In the past, whenever she had seen him, her eyes had lit up and her lips had twisted into a beaming smile. Now, she had set her jaw firmly beneath straight, unsmiling lips, while her eyes had dulled and hardened against him. In that moment, she looked strikingly like her mother. 'Ironic,' Draco thought. 'When McGonagall's the one who's done this to us.'
"Meri..." Draco began. The girl flinched at the sound of the familiar nickname, as if he had slapped her across the face. Still he continued, not knowing what else to do. "Meri, please listen to me."
Her jaw had fallen limp now, her lips very slightly parted and her eyes downcast and blinking rapidly. 'She's trying not to cry.' Draco realised, to his horror. 'I didn't want to make her cry. I never wanted that.'
"Oh, Meri." he sighed, laying a hand on her arm, in the way he had always done when she was upset. To his surprise, she let him, and did not even flinch at the gesture. For a second, it was just like old times. Until he spoke again. "Oh, Meri, I'm so sorry. I should have been there for you, to protect you. I never meant for you to get hurt because of me."
Suddenly, the familiarity was gone, and Meri jerked her arm out of his grip, as if she had forgotten something that now she remembered. Draco did not need to ask what- he knew.
Then she was running away. She moved quickly, the result of growing up in the hills of Scotland, with mile upon mile of grassland to run and play on, and by the time Draco had even thought to call after her, she was out of sight.
With a sigh, the boy slid down the wall at his back. 'There's no point running after her.' he knew. 'She'll just run away again.'
Draco thought of how he must look at that moment, jaw limp, lips parted, eyes downcast and blinking rapidly. 'Just like Meri.' he thought, chuckling sadly. But there was no humour behind it, as he asked himself that pivotal question to which he did not really want to know the answer. 'Meri and me. How did we ever come to this?'
A/N: Please review!