She stumbled through her front door, trying her hardest to stay upright. She wanted back in her bed. She just wanted to sleep.

Instead, she flailed and knocked a light off the wall of her hallway. The light bulb broke the second it hit the floor and she froze as efficiently as she could in her state. Her eyes searched the darkness for any movement from her mum, but there was none. Deeming it safe, she walked with heavy feet to the stairs that led to the second floor.

She managed to climb two steps before falling forward on two hands to climb the rest of the way on all fours. Crawling past her mum's room to her own, she sat back on her knees and felt around her door for the knob. It took her more time than it usually did; her eyesight slightly fucked from her pupils being so dilated. She blinked to try and make it easier to see, but it was no use. A hand finally fell upon the cold steel and she twisted it then pushed the door opened.

This time, she fell forward onto her stomach and somehow rolled herself into the room before kicking the door closed. She stayed on the floor for a few minutes, trying to sort her head, before lifting herself clumsily off the floor and onto her bed. She sighed into her duvet and didn't bother to clean herself up before she fell asleep.

ooo

She was being shaken and the movement did not help soothe the headache she had. In fact, it made her feel like there was a huge marble rattling around her skull. She groaned angrily and as a response her mum said "Get up."

Naomi sat up straight away, not recognising the tone that was being used. Her mum hardly ever used well…the mum tone. The tone that oozed authority.

The blonde squinted through the light in her room to see her mum clearly. The bed dipped as her mum took a seat at the end. Naomi glanced sideways and did a double take as she saw how disgusting she looked.

She looked like she'd been run over by a truck. Three times. Maybe four.

She heard her mum sigh and she brought her attention back onto her relative.

"What did you do last night?"

Naomi blinked, the question confusing her slightly because she didn't really remember. "Uh…I…" she tried, but found she was at a loss for words. Nothing was coming back to her. Her shoulders slumped as this wasn't something new, but it disappointed her anyway.

"Take a shower, then we're going to talk." Gina brushed some hair out of Naomi's face before rising off the bed and walking out the door.

She spent most of the shower thinking. Not even washing, just staring blankly at the wall, trying to recover a little part of her memory. She sat down, back facing the shower head and she let it beat against the strained muscles.

She looked down and caught sight of the scar on her inner thigh. The one made by the fence at the freight yard. Her fingers shot out to rub it. It hurt to touch it, not exactly physically. Well, it felt like it ached, but not from being ripped open. It was just sad. She followed the awkward zigzag and her thought process caused her brain to shoot a reaction of pain towards her upper leg. She hissed and pulled her hand away. Two seconds later her hand shot down onto her thigh to slap it, trying to feel if the pain from the scar was actually real. She was certain that the only hurt she felt was from the slap itself. A sigh escaped her lips when she realised that the irrational way of thinking she'd picked up in the past few months had let her to imagining a feeling that wasn't there.

She leaned to the side and rested her head against the wall made of tiles. The cramped space provided a strange but familiar infantile comfort, almost like she was back in the womb.

She stayed like that for the majority of her time in the shower. When she emerged she felt even more tired. The water didn't provide that cleansed feeling it usually did. This disappointed her even more.

Her legs took her back to her room. This feeling crept up on her. Like she wasn't actually in her body, she was just watching herself going through the motions of getting dressed. The sweatpants weren't slipped onto her legs by her and her shirt didn't fall over her head because of her own arms. It was completely lifeless and she was just watching herself fall apart.

She used to party because it was fun. Now she did it because it passed time more quickly than anything else.

She didn't paint at all. That takes time and the use of her brain. These days she didn't let herself think very much. There was no desire left in her to mix her emotions up on a page. Plus, she was too afraid that it would result in an all too consuming, dark colour; a hue that would reflect how ugly she felt inside. Disgust was always present when she looked at herself in the mirror. But she kept looking, keeping eye contact with herself until the anger bubbled up so high that she just felt like smashing the glass into a million tiny pieces. After, she would cradle those pieces like they were her children. With all the love in the world and then she would devour each one of them and let them rip her up inside. Because that's what your children did. She was a disappointment to her mother. And Will was probably disappointed in her too.

She just wanted to leave. It would be better for everyone she knew. All she did was cause problems.

She wanted her friend back. She wanted Will. She wanted her old life back. Her old self.

"Naomi?" she heard her bedroom door open slightly.

She realised she'd been sobbing in front of her mirror for the past fifteen minutes.

Her head was hung low as she felt her mum's arms envelop her to help her up. She was brought downstairs, where she took a seat in the kitchen. She finally looked up to come face to face with Effy, who was sat across from her at the table.

"Hey." the brunette greeted.

"Hi." Naomi rasped. "You…"

"I brought you home last night."

Naomi nodded and closed her eyes.

"I came to see your mum this morning to let her know how you've really been doing. She had a clue anyway. But you know…"

The blonde's head bobbed a few more times in response. "I'm shit." she said, finally.

"You're not shit. The world's shit."

Naomi smiled at that. She heard and felt her mum enter the kitchen again. She took the sit beside Naomi.

After a few beats of silence, she began to speak. Her voice was low. Demanding. "You are not to go to anymore parties for the rest of the summer. If you do need to go somewhere, you tell me exactly where and I will drop you off and pick you up. Do you understand?"

Naomi didn't try to argue. If she was honest, she didn't really want to. Rules and structure were something missing in her life. She needed stability and her mother was now stepping in because she'd sensed her daughter needed a helping hand.

"I will put in a word for you at the shop and you will earn some of the money to pay for the fines." Gina continued, waiting for an action from Naomi signalling that the blonde had heard.

Naomi blinked slowly, letting the words really hit her and she realised that she still didn't have a problem with anything her mum was laying down. She nodded again.

Gina stood, squeezed Naomi's shoulder and was out of the room again.

"You look a bit better. You've been eating." Effy observed, her eyes raking over Naomi's body to see if there was anything wrong.

The blonde stared at the table and let out an almost inaudible grunt as an answer to Effy's assessment.

"Come on." Effy got up from her own chair and walked towards Naomi to take her hand, She led the blonde out of the house and down the street to a small, quiet park where they sat under a tree.

The brunette looked directly into Naomi's eyes and started, "The other day I was with Freddie and we caught up with Emily and Katie…" she paused for the sentence to sink in. Naomi averted her gaze and looked down at the grass.

"Emily still thinks you're in New York. Even Freddie didn't correct her. Is there a reason she still thinks that you've gone off to that fucking city while Pandora and Thomas are the ones that actually went?"

Naomi's eyes welled up as she twirled a blade to wrap tightly around her finger. The fragile little plant ripped easily and she flicked the bud away.

"That's really fucked up. Like, really." Effy continued, "When she finds out the truth she's going to be fucking livid."

"No she won't. She doesn't even know me. She doesn't really care."

Effy clutched Naomi's wrist in her hand and squeezed it slightly to make the blonde look up at her.

"Will you stop with this ridiculous self-pitying bullshit. You have a mum that loves you and I'm sitting right here. Not to mention the previous topic of conversation cares so much about you. God knows why, you're such a whiny bitch."

Naomi cracked a smile at the last remark, knowing it was true. "Shut up."

"I say we pay her a little visit."

ooo

Gina removed the tribal mask from her face and let out a howl of laughter.

Naomi's face remained fixed into a scowl as she crossed her arms over her chest and waited for her mother's upheaval of laughter to calm down.

When the older woman ceased her chuckling, she stared at her daughter. "Well what the hell are you waiting for? Greet me properly!" she said as she grabbed Naomi by the shoulders and hugged her tightly.

The blonde reciprocated timidly, slightly embarrassed by the affection being shown in front of her friends.

"You look better. I'm proud of you." she heard her mum say into her ear. She nodded into Gina's shoulder.

Immediately after letting go of Naomi, Gina looked behind her and winked at Effy. The brunette nodded in return, confirming something no one else understood.

Freddie decided to pop in a moment later with an enthusiastic greeting.

Naomi turned to seek out Emily.

Katie was only just getting off the floor as Emily just completely shoved her to the side to get up.

"Fucking bitch." Katie muttered as she flopped onto the floor again, too lazy to try and get up.

Emily stealthily slipped her hand into Naomi's. The blonde smiled at her, thanking her for somehow knowing that she was feeling kind of exposed with her mother showing up while everyone was in the apartment. For Naomi, their hands connecting felt like a protective layer being thrown over her form, making her more confident and a bit less overwhelmed.

Naomi turned back to the group just in time to see her mum's eyes flit away from the two joined hands and back up to her face. She decided to just get this over with.

"Mum, this is Emily." she blurted and tugged Emily forward rather roughly.

Emily smiled sheepishly and stuck her other hand out to shake Gina's.

The older blonde shook Emily's hand vigorously and opened her mouth to say something before her daughter interrupted.

"So, who's staying the night?" Naomi said quickly, addressing the others.

A chorus of thinking noises emerged from the group as they tried hard to remember how they were getting home, or if they'd planned to go home at all. Effy was the first to answer.

"I'll bunk with Gina." her infamous smirk appeared on her face as she stared Naomi down. The blonde gave her a disgusted look and rolled her eyes.

"What? You're just going to have me go home alone?" Freddie piped up, a fake look of outrage on his face.

"Guess so." Effy grabbed a few of Gina's bags before sauntering off down the hallway.

"Well at least one of you knows how to treat your elders." Gina laughed, walking after Effy, "I'm going to bed, I'm exhausted. You all have fun. Naomi, I'll yell at you for the disgusting mess of a living room tomorrow. Good night."

Naomi felt her hand being dropped as she faced Katie, "I'm going to the bathroom." the older twin announced and also disappeared down the hallway.

Freddie bid goodbye to all of them and was out the front door.

When Naomi turned back towards Emily she found the girl leaning against the door frame, with one hand on her hip as an over the top attempt at looking sexy. Naomi laughed at her, "What the fuck are you doing?"

Emily stood up straight and scoffed, "God, you ruin everything, I was trying to seduce you!"

"You're doing a really bad job."

The redhead rolled her eyes and moved to stand toe to toe with Naomi, "What about now?"

"Cold. Really cold."

Emily's mouth twitched. She was holding in her laughter, Naomi knew it. The tiny girl put her hands on Naomi's hips. "Now?"

"Freezing." Naomi smirked.

Emily raised an eyebrow and slipped her hands under the hem of the shirt, stroking the curves of Naomi's hips. "And now?"

"Hmm, maybe a fraction less cold."

The redhead took a step forward and playfully pushed Naomi into the wall, hands still connected to soft skin. She leaned forward to brush her lips lightly over the blonde's own pair teasingly. Mouth hovering just out of reach, voice deep with purpose and with her body putting slight pressure on Naomi's form, she asked again, "What about now?"

There was no verbal response, just a rush of air that entered the blonde's mouth as a gasp. It was trapped in her throat as her breathing hitched. The flow resumed, this time a bit faster.

"That's what I thought." Emily smirked and dipped her head to sweep her tongue across the soft skin of Naomi's collarbone. The blonde arched her neck and bit her lip. Her hands came up to tangle with silky red locks. Emily's right hand reached higher under the shirt to allow her fingers to burn a trail right past the valley between Naomi's breasts. Her palm flattened itself against the blonde's chest, feeling the girl's heart beating rapidly.

"Have I always done this to you?" she breathed into Naomi's ear.

Naomi tried to comprehend the question but failed as Emily's lips finally latched onto her own. Her lips were soft and warm and had the power to slightly calm the frantic rhythm her entire body had fallen into. Even when the redhead's tongue slipped past her own lips, her excitement was expressed in the way her hands fell from Emily's hair and moved to stroke her neck in time with the flow of their kiss. She felt the hand on her chest began to move again and it pressed itself a bit harder against her skin.

The air around them seemed to be dense with heat and the feeling only increased when Emily moved her hand up to slip Naomi's bra strap off her shoulder. It moved lower again to nudge the cup out of the way so she could take the bare mound into her hand.

Naomi broke the kiss with a gasp and Emily just took Naomi's bottom lip into her mouth. She just continued kneading and biting and sucking.

Then she trailed a shaky line of kisses along Naomi's jaw and the blonde's hands were gripping at Emily's sides. The redhead rested her lips at Naomi's ear again and asked for the second time, "Have I always done this to you?"

The question finally seemed to click with Naomi and all she could do was breathe out "Yes."

The second time the word emerged from her lips, it was louder than she intended it to be.

They froze when they heard a door down the hall creak open and a voice emerge seconds later.

"Stop almost having sex in the goddamn hallway!" Effy's tired, sleep deprived voice shot from the bedroom.

Emily's hand was out of Naomi's top just in time for Katie to return from the bathroom.

They both looked like two deer caught in headlights. Nothing was able to slip past Katie.

"Gross!" she said as she walked past them and into the living room. "I had to like…just walk into your make out vapours." she picked up her bag and walked to the front door. "Are you coming, Em?"

Emily eyed Naomi then looked back at Katie.

"Shit, never mind." Katie said exasperatedly as she unlocked the door to leave.

"Bye Katie." Naomi said as the door closed.

"Fucking gay." was heard before the door completely blocked her voice from drifting into the apartment.

"Soooo…" Emily said while stepping slowly down the hallway. Naomi followed. "What?" she asked.

"Don't know." Emily replied, slinking into the blonde's room. She jumped onto the bed and stretched her tiny body out, covering as much space as possible so that Naomi couldn't get in comfortably.

"You better move your massive ass out of my space." Naomi said as she moved around the room, clearing things just to keep herself busy.

"Or what?"

"Or I'll throw you off myself."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

"I'd like to see you try."

Naomi stopped moving and swiftly grabbed Emily's ankles to drag her off the bed. She managed to get her legs off but Emily was holding onto the duvet covered mattress for dear life.

"Noooooo!" Emily shouted as she dragged the comforter off the bed with herself. She flailed her legs and kicked Naomi in the face, then she quickly crawled back up the bed to sit near the pillows.

She tried to apologise through her laughter, but failed because she could hardly breathe.

"You're such an asswipe." Naomi said as she clutched her jaw and moved around to the other side of the bed.

"I'm sorry!" Emily managed to squeeze out through her wheezing.

Naomi turned the light off and climbed into bed, pulling the covers over her face to sulk.

Emily pulled the comforter back down and planted a quick kiss on Naomi's cheek. "I'm sorry."

As much as Naomi tried, she couldn't fight the smile that broke out at the redhead's affection.

"I'm sorry." Emily said again, this time pressing a kiss to her temple. Emily wrapped her arms around Naomi, effectively spooning her. Some minutes passed and Emily spoke, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Naomi answered, her eyes closed. She felt Emily's breath on the back of her neck.

"Were you really going to up and leave for New York if you had the chance?"

Naomi thought about her answer carefully, finally deciding that the truth was the most important thing at this point. She turned to face Emily.

"Emily, you have to understand that I wasn't in a good place…"

"I know…" the redhead replied, stroking the blonde's cheek with her thumb.

"I thought that getting away was what I needed."

"Getting away from me."

"Partly, but not entirely. When Will was alive, most of the uncertainty in my mind surrounding you had to do with the anxiety of completely giving yourself to someone and allowing them to see you at your most vulnerable. Handing over control. But that seemed trivial after Will died. He was my other half. We were supposed to go together to New York. I was going to go anyway, on my own. It felt like my chance to run away. To take some form of control and order back. Not to mention if I left everyone, then they wouldn't be able to leave me first. That's only the surface of everything that went on…I was depressed and a bunch of other things. I don't really want to get into it…"

"It's okay." Emily moved closed and touched the tip of her nose to Naomi's. "I'll just keep learning all the things I wasn't meant to learn before." her eyes fluttered closed. "Because now there's room."

"What?"

"In here." Emily raised her hand to Naomi's heart like she did over a year ago. "I think I can fit now." she smiled widely, dazing Naomi momentarily even in the dark.

"Me too."

No weird, rambly paragraph at the beginning? I'm just really tired lol.

RiseRebelResist, Hahahah I've had a Zelda reference floating around since the beginning. Lake Hylia = Hylian = my pen name. Gah, nerd! and thank you so much!

Vangoghgurrl, loool you never fail to make me chuckle. Forgive me for this last ass update. Thought it should also bring on the the warm and fuzzy feelins.

CrashKill, Aw thanks! and it's my pleasure to bring you an update :D

lumagoo1015, I've had that tag in my head for Effy since the beginningggg. I want to make her put it to use when they carry out their plan ;) haha. Thanks for your review.

AllICanDoIsBeMe, hahahaha I'll take that as a very good reaction to Gina's entrance. Fook, group paranoia is so embarrassing. It's happened to me SO many times and I don't really get scared easily but you know when people are like GAHBSUDBH THERES A MONSTER! it just makes you scared. lol. and yay more love for Emily!

Naoemms, OCARINA OF TIME, SUCKA. BEST GAME EVAAAAR. anyway yeah, most of all thanks for your review loool

and thanks to inside im dancing for the shout. THANK YOU. YEAH!

also guys, I am terrible at being in school. Help me out? .

Peace!