In pursuit of Olympic dreams

by LadyZeia

[AU-Canon Divergence/Alternate Timeline] Rin returns to Japan with one goal in mind: Rio. He's got it all planned out—kill it at the Olympic Trials, make the National Team, and—in Rio—show the world. Falling in love, though? That isn't supposed to happen… Olympic Free. Language, adult situations. RinHaru/HaruRin. Epilogue: Follow the sun / Our shining, brilliant future.

21. In the wake of the storm

Chapter 21: In the wake of the storm

A/N: Beta by M.H.

---

The Flagstaff sky was gray-violet at midday, with rain sheeting off the eaves and blinding flashes of light that filled the sky from horizon to horizon. While Mikoshiba slept through the whole thing, Haru was awake, sitting up in his lofted bed near the window with the shark plush nestled in his arms. After nearly an hour, the storm was finally starting to recede—the length of time between the lightning and the deep rumbles of thunder growing longer and longer.

Mikoshiba was snoring softly on the second lofted bed, kitty-corner to Haru's. The guy slept facing the wall with the occasional murmur of unintelligible words being the only indication the storm fazed him at all. Haru was supposed to be resting, too. In another hour, they had to be back at the aquatic center for afternoon practice, but…

With the lights off in the bedroom of their small dorm apartment, Haru watched the water cascading down the glass on the windowpanes. His phone was beside him on the bed, dark. It was nighttime in Spain. Rin had already gone to bed after a brief trade of texts. Even though Haru would've preferred to see Rin's face, he didn't want to Skype with the storm in the background.

The stormy nights were the ones he remembered vividly—a handful of times out of countless sleepovers when they were kids. Another flash of lightning dazzled him, leaving spots dancing in his eyes as the memories came to him…

It wasn't the thunder that woke him that night, it was the sound of muffled sobs and the way Rin was shaking. Haru winced at a bright pulse of light—visible even through the curtains. The clap of thunder was a split-second after, rattling the windows of Haru's bedroom. Rin jumped at the noise, causing the mattress to jerk.

Haru rubbed his eyes and sat up, drowsy. It had to be the middle of the night. "Matsuoka…"

But Rin didn't react to his name. He was sitting up in bed, the blankets pooled at his waist. His hands were pressed over his ears and his face was a mess of tears. The pajamas he borrowed from Haru were clinging to his skin.

Haru's eyes went wide, a cold sense of panic spreading through his chest. He didn't know what to do. When Makoto had nightmares, he didn't cry—he just gripped Haru's hand until Haru's fingers went numb, but after that, he could go back to sleep.

But Rin… This was the boy whose smile was like sakura trees in springtime, who loved to race, who pursued and challenged Haru until he gave in about the relay. Rin was cocky and confident, always flinging an arm around Haru's shoulders and grinning. And even though Haru blushed, he didn't push Rin away—

Haru's fingers tightened on the blankets. Seeing Rin like this—he didn't like it. He had to do…something…

"Rin?"

Rin didn't hear him that time, either. His eyes were squeezed shut and he was hunched forward. At the next flash of lightning, he flinched—

Haru crawled over, taking care to keep his movements slow and deliberate so Rin wouldn't be alarmed. He settled in front of his friend, face-to-face, but even though their knees were touching through the blankets, Rin didn't react.

Drawing a breath, Haru reached out… He gently covered Rin's hands with his own—

Rin's eyes flew open and it wasn't just fear in that scarlet gaze. It was pain—a deep, raw pain—and Haru remembered the shrine at Rin's house, with a bit of fishing net and a few gold medals next to the picture of Rin's dad.

A lump formed in Haru's throat. He knew he couldn't fix the pain. He could only try to help Rin through the storm.

Haru held Rin's gaze without looking away, his thumbs wet with Rin's tears. "It's OK, Rin." He wasn't sure if Rin could hear him, but he tried anyway. "It's just water. You don't have to be afraid."

Rin stared at him without blinking for a long moment, his breath still coming in hitches that made his lower lip tremble…but his hands gradually slackened beneath Haru's. When another burst of light filled the room, followed by a low roar of thunder, Rin tensed up, but he didn't pull away. Haru stayed where he was, the room quiet except for the sound of the rain scattering against the roof above.

At length, Rin exhaled a shuddering breath and his shoulders started to relax. "Haru…"

Haru's cheeks heated. He had started it—calling Rin by his first name—but it still caught him off guard when Rin reciprocated. To everyone else, he was Haruka or Haru-chan or Nanase… Only Makoto called him 'Haru' and most of the time that annoying '-chan' still came with it. But hearing Rin call him that…he liked it.

Rin calmed by stages—his eyes first, then his breathing. He slipped his hands out from beneath Haru's, lowering them to the blanket in his lap. Rin's face was warm beneath Haru's palms.

The storm didn't stop, but the thunder and lightning seemed to bother Rin less and less as the minutes ticked by. His reddened eyes and nose were the only lingering evidence of his distress.

Haru brushed Rin's tears away, the droplets like tiny pearls of dew against his fingertips.

Rin's eyes softened. He didn't smile, but there was a trace of it in his gaze.

"…Wanna sleep some more?" Haru asked.

Immediately, Rin's face clouded. "I'm not sure if I can."

Haru reached down for one of Rin's hands. Maybe—

Rin's fingers tightened around his. The way Rin's shoulders went rigid, Haru knew it wouldn't be enough—just holding hands.

His heart was thudding in his chest as he leaned in, wrapping his arms around Rin's waist.

A blush joined the color in Rin's face; Haru's cheeks felt hot, too. But Rin started to relax against him almost instantly.

"It's…OK?" Haru whispered.

Rin nodded, curling his arms around Haru's shoulders.

Haru slowly coaxed him down to the bed, making sure Rin's head found the pillow. He freed one hand long enough to pull up the blanket, then settled in. They took a minute to figure out where their arms should go, but Rin's eyes were warm when they ended up face-to-face, lying on their sides with their arms tucked around each other.

"Think you can?" Haru asked.

"I'll try," Rin said, closing his eyes.

…When Haru stirred next, it was morning. Sunlight seeped around the edges of the curtains, birds were chirping outside, and he could hear his mother moving around in the kitchen downstairs.

Rin was still asleep, which was odd. Typically, Rin was up first. Haru was lying on his back and Rin was using him for a pillow. Rin's hair was soft against Haru's cheek and shallow breaths gently wafted across his throat. Their arms were still tucked around each other and Rin's leg was trapping his knees.

Usually, Haru didn't like it when people were clingy. But…he'd make an exception, just this one time. Haru closed his eyes, feeling the way Rin's chest rose and fell as he breathed…

A little while later, his mom's footsteps sounded on the stairs. She stopped outside the door, rapping her knuckles against the wood. "Boys? Breakfast. One hour until you're supposed to be at the pool for practice."

Pool. Haru's eyes flew open. Right, they didn't have school today. He could swim all day…

Rin made a noise of protest, snuggling in.

She knocked again. "Boys, are you up? Haruka?"

"Yeah, mom, we're up," Haru said. "We'll come down."

Rin jerked awake at the sound of his voice, blinking at first, then his eyes went wide.

Footsteps retreated from Haru's door as his mom went back downstairs.

"…Do you think she came in while we were sleeping?" Rin asked quietly, a blush staining his cheeks. He didn't pull away though.

Haru shrugged beneath Rin's arm. "I doubt it." If he hadn't called back, maybe. "We should get up."

"Oh." The color in Rin's cheeks darkened, but he laughed softly. "Yeah, I guess you're right. If we're late, Coach Sasabe'll make us do extra laps." Rin sat up and stretched, smiling—almost smirking. "You'd like that, though."

"Nn…" Not that he was going to admit it… Haru sat up, rubbing his eyes.

…After breakfast, they headed outside in their Iwatobi SC gear. The day was bright and sunny, if cold. The leaves on the trees were just starting to bud.

At the top of the steps leading down from Haru's house, Rin flung his arms wide like he was greeting the morning. "Ah! It's a beautiful day." He glanced back at Haru, grinning. "Come on, Nanase, we're gonna race to the pool."

Haru sighed, gripping the strap of his gear bag. But he was relieved inside, seeing Rin back to his normal, cheery self.

Halfway down the stairs, Makoto joined them and they set off, running…

At the end of swim practice, Haru lingered in the shower in his swimsuit, not wanting to leave. If he waited long enough, everyone else would go and he could sneak back into the pool when no one was looking—

"Na-na-se!" Rin was waiting for him, leaning on the half-wall of tile that surrounded the shower area. His hair was wet and a towel was slung across his shoulders.

Haru turned off the shower. He flung the water from his hair with a shake of his head before heading to his locker in the last row.

Rin followed him. The place was nearly cleared out. If not for Rin, he could execute his plan…

His towel wasn't on the bench where he'd left it. Haru frowned—

"You're looking for this, right?" Rin held up the missing article.

"Nn—"

Rin chuckled and came over, draping the towel over his head.

"Matsu—"

Damp arms circled his shoulders and in the shadow of the towel, Rin's lips touched his.

Haru's eyes blew wide.

The kiss was over almost as suddenly as it happened and Rin was hugging him, his mouth near Haru's ear.

"Haru, thanks," he whispered.

Haru's breath caught, his heart running rapid in his chest.

Rin pulled away in a flash, smiling and blushing as he scampered off with a wave—

Haru stood there, stunned. He tasted chlorine and Rin on his lips. In that moment, his mind and heart were full of the boy whose smile was like sakura. Rin's kiss was like that, too...

Haru sank down to the bed with the stuffed shark in his arms, his breath coming out in a long, slow exhale. The worst of the storm was fading into the distance; now there was just the sound of the rain… The memories lingered. A stormy night and a thank you kiss, eight years ago… That one moment blossomed into so many others—feelings, longings that grew and changed without him realizing it…all leading up to a pair of I love you's poolside in Barcelona after a breathless fifty free.

After that first time, stormy nights got easier. He got used to it—the way Rin would just crawl into his arms, not needing to say anything. When morning came and Rin was back to his bright, smiling self… That part was always special to Haru.

In eight years, you must've figured it out—how to sleep through thunderstorms. The storms they faced now were different—disappointments, setbacks, being good but not good enough, the way people changed. It was hard, not being there—settling for a phone call instead of offering Rin his arms… It hurt the same way it wrenched his heart to leave Rin crying at his apartment in Tokyo, when they first separated for this trip. There were twenty-five days left…

Haru closed his eyes, sighing. He curled up with the shark in his arms and chased sleep.

I miss you, Rin.

---

Wednesday, June 29th, 2016

---

They left Flagstaff at 9am, driving down to Phoenix to catch the first of three flights. It was going to be a long day of traveling to get to Vichy, France. Haru stared out the window of the van, his messenger bag on his lap. The nose of the stuffed shark poked out beneath the bag's flap. His sweatshirt was tucked into the strap, in case the plane was too cold for his T-shirt and pants. Outside, the Arizona skies were hidden by thick clouds moving briskly with the wind. More thunderstorms were in the forecast, but not until the evening. They'd be on the plane to Paris, out of Salt Lake City, by then.

It was noon before Haru and his teammates were through security at Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport and finally to the gate. Haru found a less crowded area a couple of gates over and sat with his back to the wall. It was 9pm in Granada. Pulling his phone out, he logged on to wireless and switched over to Skype, hoping Rin hadn't gone to bed yet…

Just seeing the green dot next to Rin's name woke a quiet thrill in his heart.

Rin answered on the third ring. "There you are." The video connected and Rin was stifling a yawn as he moved through a dimly-lit room. He sank down onto a couch within the glow of a nearby lamp and pushed a hand through mussed strands of hair. "I was starting to think they wouldn't let you through security with all the cans of mackerel you packed in your bag."

"Nn." Haru pressed his lips, miffed by the lack of saba in his carry-on. "It's all in my checked luggage. Where it's safe."

Rin blinked, his brows lifted in surprise. "Really? I didn't think they'd actually…" His face softened. "Gomen. I shouldn't have teased you about it."

Haru shrugged. "It's OK. I ate some for breakfast."

Rin sighed, settling back against the cushions. "Of course you did."

Haru held his lover's gaze, wishing he could reach through the phone… Instead, he curled his free arm tighter around his messenger bag and the stuffed shark in it.

Rin snorted. "You're bringing that on the plane?"

"Yeah. It helps me sleep."

A faint blush crept into Rin's cheeks.

"Did I wake you?"

Rin shook his head…and winced. "Nah, I was just resting. You can probably hear Momo snoring though." Rin moved the phone, giving Haru a look at the twin beds on the other side of the room. Near a window with thick red curtains, the two beds were side-by-side, covered with striped red blankets. Momo was sleeping on the closer of the two beds—a person-sized lump with an orange tuft of hair peeking out from beneath the covers.

There wasn't much space between the beds. Just like Barcelona. It must be normal in Spain. "How's your head?"

"It fucking hurts," Rin said, scrunching his nose. "But whatever. It'll be fine in a day or two, like last time."

Haru nodded. He'd dealt with the same thing after his arrival in Flagstaff and wasn't looking forward to experiencing it again, wherever they were training in France after the competition. He forgot the name of the place. "I hope you feel better in the morning, Rin."

Rin's eyes warmed. "Yeah, me too." He smiled faintly. "Happy—almost—Birthday, Haru. Since I can't tell you later."

A tender feeling spread through Haru's chest. Rin.

"It sucks you're stuck traveling all day on your birthday."

"I don't care. We'll finally be in the same time zone again."

"Yeah. Still like a thousand kilometers apart, though."

It's still better.

On the screen, Rin covered his mouth, yawning.

Haru smiled, savoring the drowsy look on Rin's face. "Go to sleep, Rin."

"Yeah, OK. Safe flights, Haru."

"Thanks." Haru lowered his voice. "Love you."

Rin blushed. "Love you, too."

The video ended, his screen returning to his wallpaper. Haru spent a moment just looking at the picture of the two of them tucked in bed together at the NTC. The three-and-a-half weeks until he could hold Rin like that again felt like an eternity. Haru sighed and pocketed his phone, heading back to join his teammates.

There were two TVs in the boarding area—one showing a national news channel and one showing sports. The news anchor on the sports show was live at the pool in Omaha. It was between the morning heats and evening finals on day four of the US Olympic trials.

"Haruka!" Takara waved him over. She and Mikoshiba were clustered around her phone in the seating area where she'd managed to grab a spot near a power outlet.

Mikoshiba looked up at him with a thumbs-up sign and a grin. "Nanase-kun, you're famous!"

Haru blinked. "What?"

Takara jumped up from her seat and grabbed his arm, sitting him down and pushing her phone into his hands. "Here, I'll restart it for you."

"Nn…" They both hovered over his shoulders, annoyingly close as usual. Haru exhaled and turned his attention to the screen.

"Oh, volume." Takara clicked it up.

It was a Japanese sports show—one of those internet-only programs—and they were replaying an interview from an American broadcast with Japanese subtitles running along the lower half of the screen.

The guy being interviewed wore navy blue warmups, a gold medal gleaming against his chest. He was fresh from the pool, his short, spiky hair askew and he still had a faint goggle line beneath his eyes. Haru recognized the swimmer immediately. Damien Andrews was an Athens, Beijing, and London legend with US and World Records in fly and free. He was Captain Ikehara's age; Rio would be his fourth Olympics.

"It's from last night, after the final in the two hundred fly," Takara said.

The playback cut into the middle of the conversation. "One of your long-time rivals caused a bit of a stir this week, in Rome," the reporter said in English.

The American swimmer shook his head. "I'm not commenting on any rumors. Next question."

The woman smiled politely. "The two of you first swam together eight years ago in Beijing, is that right? You were bitter rivals from the start, if I recall correctly."

Damien chuckled onscreen. "Yeah, things got a little heated the way I remember. It was a long time ago." The guy shrugged. "At my age, when I'm seriously considering whether or not this will be my last Olympics…keeping up old rivalries isn't as important anymore."

Haru peered at the parade of tiny characters on the screen, struggling to keep up with the spoken English and the Japanese subtitles.

"I've got my future with my family to think about. It's not like it matters to my daughter whether her dad has five or fifty gold medals hanging on the wall. But it's true—old habits die hard." Damien propped a hand on his hip and shrugged. "I'm a competitor at heart. I hope I get to swim with him again. I wish him all the best with his training." The guy smiled. "Now, if you want to ask me about other members of the Japanese team…"

The reporter nodded. "Please!"

"Those two newcomers have been really impressive—Rin, ah, Matsuoka and Haruka Nanase. Am I pronouncing that right?" Damien glanced off-screen.

Takara squealed, shaking Haru's shoulder. "Damien Andrews knows your name!"

"Anyway, those two have been putting up solid performances in the free. Really great times. I'm looking forward to swimming with them in Rio. Not that I'm promising them their first real heartbreak on the international stage, but…" Damien grinned, "well, yeah, I am."

The reporter laughed, turning to look at the camera. "If you're just joining us, we're talking with American swimming legend Damien Andrews…"

The video switched to a Japanese studio with two sports anchors—one man, one woman—sitting on a couch and wearing fashionable clothing. A free-standing screen was nearby, showing a still image of the US swimmer.

The woman smiled at the camera, speaking in Japanese. "That was Damien Andrews-san on our very own Sugiyama-kun, Matsuoka-kun, and Nanase-kun, just last night after Andrews-san won the two hundred meter fly at the US Olympic trials."

"As for Sugiyama-kun," the man said, facing the camera as the screen switched to a photo of Sugiyama from the competition in Canet, "unofficial sources affiliated with JASF say we can expect a statement from him by the end of the week regarding his behavior in Rome that resulted in several fines. But it sounds like his spot on the national team is still secure, despite earlier speculation."

"We have people digging into the Beijing connection between Sugiyama-kun and Andrews-san," the woman said, "though other than reports of the two almost coming to blows in a bar after the swimming events were complete, we haven't found anything just yet."

"That's enough, isn't it?" the man said.

The woman shrugged. "Well, I suppose…"

"In other news…" The man returned his gaze to the camera, the screen changing to side-by-side photos of Rin and Haru, from Rome and Phoenix, respectively. "Matsuoka-kun and Nanase-kun continue to make headlines—the good kind—overseas. Matsuoka-kun's gold medal performances in Rome over the weekend broke national records yet again in the fifty and one hundred meter freestyle—the two records he and Nanase-kun have been trading back and forth ever since the Japan Swim in April."

The woman smiled. "You'd think these two would have a rivalry every bit as bitter as Sugiyama-kun and Andrews-san, but that's clearly not the case…"

Haru's face heated as the free-standing screen went to video, showing Barcelona after his fifty-meter free.

"You know," the man said, "I think things are being blown out of proportion. The two are childhood rivals. Obviously, they're good friends—"

"I buy that for the first kiss—congratulations, excitement, etc." The woman pointed at the screen, at a wide-angle shot of their poolside embrace. "Not the second."

The man cleared his throat, looking at the camera. "Either way, it's refreshing to see teammates supporting each other so, ah, enthusiastically. We've repeatedly tried to get interviews with Matsuoka-kun and Nanase-kun, but thus far our efforts have been blocked by the coaching staff as well as the sponsors."

"We'll keep trying, though!" the woman said. "All eyes will be on Nanase-kun this weekend in France. Will he beat Matsuoka-kun's records yet again?"

"They certainly keep things exciting, don't they?" Smiling, the man checked the card in his hand. "Also joining Nanase-kun at the French Open this weekend are Team Captain Ikehara Yoshino-kun, Ozawa Yumiko-san—"

Takara reached across and paused the video. "That's about it for the good parts."

Haru pressed his lips, his cheeks hot. "Where do you find this stuff?"

She shrugged, plucking her phone from his hands. "I have help."

"Has Rin seen it?"

"He will if he checks his email," she said and grinned.

Haru sighed. There wasn't any part of Barcelona he regretted and the pictures and videos that ended up on social media—which he didn't really participate in—didn't bother him. So far Rin seemed…OK with it. Otherwise, you wouldn't have recorded that song for me at the karaoke bar. You had to know that was going to get out…

Hopefully Rin would wait until his headache was gone before he looked at his email.

There was a noise overhead as the gate agent lifted a hand microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience. At this time, we'll begin pre-boarding for flight 785, non-stop service to Salt Lake City—"

A crowd immediately started to form near the door to the jetway. Haru would never understand why people were in such a rush to go sit in a cramped seat on an airplane. If there was a pool onboard, maybe…

"Hey, that's us!" Mikoshiba popped up from his seat, grabbing his bag and jacket.

"Finally!" Takara got up, flinging loose black hair behind her shoulder. "The first thing I'm gonna do in France is have a drink."

"Takara-kun, that's a fabulous idea!"

"I don't understand why—when the flight is going to Paris—you still have to be 21 to drink onboard."

"Probably because it's a US-based airline," Haru said. "And this flight's just going to Utah."

His teammates exchanged a glance…and looked back at him, grinning. Haru immediately grew wary—

Takara propped a hand on her hip. "Haruka, when we get to France, we're gonna celebrate your birthday in style!"

Mikoshiba clenched a fist in excitement. "It'll be even better than last year!"

Haru drew a breath…and exhaled, ignoring them as he got up and gathered his things. "I'm going to the bathroom."

-x-

The flight was turbulent, but short, and they caught air with a good bounce on the runway in Salt Lake City.

Takara—in the middle seat—was white-knuckling her armrest with a scowl. "Nice landing," she muttered under her breath.

"Hah. Which one?" Mikoshiba grinned broadly from the aisle seat.

At the window, Haru hugged the plush shark to his chest as the aircraft slowed to taxi speed and turned off the runway.

Assistant Coach Akagi and Captain Ikehara had deplaned first, waiting just beyond the gate.

"Everyone OK?" Ikehara asked, glancing at each of them in turn as they gathered. "That was a rougher flight."

Haru shrugged when Ikehara looked at him. "It was fine."

Takara snorted. "Says the guy who spent the whole hour clinging to a stuffed animal."

He flicked his gaze to her askance. "It's better than the armrest, Takara."

Her face tightened and she looked away with an irritated blush.

Ozawa and Konishi smothered their chuckles behind fake coughs while Nakagawa—a London Olympian in the 200m IM—just smiled and went back to her phone, tucking a length of blond hair behind her ear.

Mikoshiba laughed, throwing an arm around Takara's shoulders. "I'm sure we can find you a buddy at one of the shops, Takara-kun."

She glared at him.

Coach Akagi glanced at his watch. "We've got forty minutes and they'll probably start boarding in twenty. Don't miss the plane."

There was a chorus of 'hai's' and they all scattered in various directions.

Haru trailed behind Takara and Mikoshiba, logging on to wireless to check his messages. It was after midnight in Spain, so he didn't expect to see anything from Rin, but it was morning at home in Japan. The texts popped up all at once—

[HARU-CHAN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!]

[Nagisa-kun, yelling into the phone does not make the text louder. Haruka-senpai, I hope you have a wonderful birthday. Paris is a beautiful city.]

[Rei-chan, Haru-chan's only connecting in Paris. The competition is in another city. Ehh, I forgot the name.]

[Nagisa-kun! Why would you give me inaccurate information?!]

Gou's text included a cake emoji. [Happy Birthday, Haruka-senpai! Good luck this weekend! P.S. Thanks for everything you've done for my brother. I can tell he just, you know, needs it right now. P.P.S. You guys are so cute together! I can't believe he sang public karaoke for you!]

[Haru,] Makoto wrote, [I know it's technically not your birthday yet where you are, but Happy Birthday. I tried to convince Mikoshiba-senpai and Sakamoto-senpai to take it easy this year—not like last year—but I'm not sure they're going to listen. You'll be fine, though. You only drink free, right?] Haru could almost hear it in his head—the way his best friend would've been chuckling. [Text me when you get to Vichy, OK? It doesn't matter if it's late. Safe travels!]

There were texts from his parents, too, and emails from some of his classmates and teammates at Koutei…

Haru's steps slowed. It was really nice, hearing from everyone. He missed them, but knowing they cared—having them support him and cheer him on even from a distance—meant a lot. I'm not the same person I was a few years ago. Tomorrow, he would be twenty years old. At twenty, I was supposed to be ordinary. Back in high school, he'd longed for it—when people would stop getting excited over him and start leaving him alone… Yet here he was, doing the exact opposite thing…all because of his friends and a sudden trip to Sydney with Rin that changed everything.

Haru smiled to himself as he slipped his phone back into his pocket and caught up with the others.

I'll get back to ordinary someday. When we're both ready, Rin.

-x-

The gate agent checked Haru's passport and handed it back to him. "Thank you, Mr. Nanase. You're all set."

"Thank you." Haru tucked his passport away and exited the line.

The flight to Paris would be boarding soon. Haru perched at the window, taking a selfie with the plane—a Boeing 767—in the background. I never thought I'd cross the Atlantic twice without you. It was going to be three times when he flew from France to São Paulo in late July. Rin would join him almost a week later.

The skies over Salt Lake City were overcast, which probably meant they were in for another choppy ride, at least on climb out. He didn't really mind it and he wasn't frightened or anything, but it was hard to sleep when the plane was shaking.

"Haruka." Takara adjusted the strap of her travel bag on her shoulder as she came over, eyeing the wall. "You're blocking the outlet. Scoot over."

Haru rolled his eyes and moved a half-meter to his left. As she plugged in, he accessed his email so he could send the pic to Rin—

A new message in his inbox caught his eye, nestled between junk mail and Koutei newsletters… It was from Rin. The timestamp was…just a few minutes ago.

What are you doing up? It was almost 1am in Spain.

Haru selected the email; a video was attached.

[Happy Birthday, Haru. This is the official video from Rome and it's way better than any of the random crap Sakamoto found. …Don't put it on the Internet, though.]

Rin. A warm glow rose inside him, but chasing it was a nagging feeling— You wouldn't have woken up just to send me this…

Haru switched over to text. [You're up?]

Rin's reply came a minute later. [Yeah.] There was a pause before Rin's message continued. [Can't sleep. It works out, though. Since I got to email you. You're where?]

[Salt Lake City. Just getting ready to board.] Haru pressed his lips. [Is it the headache?]

"Takara-kun, look! My brother figured out how to take videos with his phone!" Mikoshiba came over, beaming and holding out his phone.

Takara straightened against the window, lifting a brow. "Your brother doesn't do technology, huh? I thought kids his age did nothing but surf porn on the internet all day."

"Right? That's why this is epic!" Mikoshiba grinned. "I mean, it's a little shaky, but check out the lightning against the mountains!"

Haru went cold.

"Hmm... Not bad." She shrugged. "Pretty good storm, huh? Like the monsoon we had yesterday in Flagstaff—"

Rin. Haru gripped his phone, the memories taking hold of him with icy clarity—of Rin when they were kids…of Rin trembling while the storm raged outside. He was three steps from the window before he caught himself. What am I doing? It's not like I can run to Spain. His heart sank, though he tried to rationalize… Eight years. There was no way Rin still cried during thunderstorms. Since then…it's not like you ever came back and needed me to hold you like I used to.

He was overreacting. It was probably just a coincidence that Rin couldn't sleep—

"Haruka?"

"You OK, Nanase-kun?"

Haru swallowed. "Fine," he said, his voice hoarse.

Rin hadn't texted back.

Haru moved away from his teammates, threading through the crowded boarding area until there was enough room to breathe and think… He clutched the strap of his travel bag in his free hand as he tapped out the message, his thumb hovering over the send button, hesitating for a second… [It's stormy there, Rin?]

Haru held his breath as he watched the animated ellipsis appear as Rin started to write back…then disappear. There was a long pause and Haru's shoulders slumped. You didn't want me to know.

After more than a minute—

[It's mostly over, now. Momo woke up pretty hyper. I just got him to go back to bed.]

A lump lodged in Haru's throat. Rin. The longing to be there was overwhelming, even if it was just sleeplessness…even if all Rin needed was a hug from someone he loved—someone who would push strands of hair back from his face and meet his gaze. Maybe there wouldn't be tears this time, but the weariness and fatigue would be just as painful to bear. Haru knew exactly what that expression looked like—Rin had been wearing it in Rome. Every time he saw it, the distance pushed a little more on his heart—

Rin texted again. [I'm fine, Haru. You don't have to worry.]

Rin was saying that because he had to. We have to be fine. For twenty-four days…we have to be fine. There wasn't any alternative.

[Thanks for the dolphin. It's the not the same, but it helps.]

Haru's eyes moistened, an ache running through his chest. [Yeah.]

[Next flight's the long one, right?]

The words were a silent plea for normalcy, however forced. [Like ten hours.]

[Have a safe flight. Text me when you get to Paris.]

[OK.] The pain dulled to a soft numbness.

[Did you watch the video yet?]

[No, but I will.] Haru pressed his lips, his hand slipping from the strap of his messenger bag to hang limp at his side. [Thanks.]

[Happy Birthday, Haru.]

[Thanks, Rin.] Haru lowered the phone, the screen darkening beneath his thumb. You didn't want to upset me on my birthday. He rubbed the bracelet on his wrist, the leather pliant beneath his fingertips, the shark and dolphin smooth. But it's not like I can't tell. When you're hurting.

…After boarding the airplane and getting his seat by the window, Haru pulled out his headphones. With the shark plush nestled in his arms, he watched the video—Rin's birthday gift to him. By the end of it, Haru's smile was genuine and the ache in his heart was almost unbearable. He clutched the shark to his chest and hit replay.

---

Thursday, June 30th, 2016

---

11:30am in Paris felt like the small hours of the morning. Haru was bleary-eyed as he followed his teammates through immigration; he hadn't done much more than doze on the flight. They had a two-hour layover until their flight to Clermont-Ferrand…and after that there was still a shuttle or train or something—he forgot which—to get to Vichy.

Haru stared at the arrivals and departures board in terminal 2E of the Aéroport de Paris-Charles-de-Gaulle as he took out his phone. [I'm in Paris.]

A steady stream of people joined him at the board and headed off on their way; they moved around him, Haru hardly paying attention.

The phone trilled quietly in his hand.

Haru answered the Skype call with a tap.

Rin was outdoors in his running gear with clear blue skies and mountain peaks in the background. The only evidence of the previous night's storm was a dewy freshness to the greenery around him on the trail. His expression was sheepish. "Haru…" Rin's voice was lost in the noise of the Paris airport—travelers' conversations and luggage rolling across the floor.

"Hang on." Haru dug his headphones from his pocket, slipping one into his ear. "It's loud here."

"Better?"

"Yeah." Haru relaxed, seeing Rin's face. You look tired, but you're OK.

Rin rubbed the back of his neck, several strands of hair escaping his ponytail and playing about his face in a slight breeze. "How was the flight?"

It brought me closer to you, so that's one thing. Haru shrugged. "Long."

"You look…tired."

"I didn't sleep much."

Rin's expression clouded. "Haru, I'm sorry about…last night." His brow knit together. "I didn't want to upset you when…"

Haru pressed his lips. "When it's my birthday and we can't do anything about it."

Rin's face fell. "…Yeah."

A wordless moment passed between them.

Haru drew a breath. "Is it still bad, Rin? Like when we were kids?"

"Nah." Pink stained Rin's cheeks as their gazes met again. "I mean, of course I wish you were here. But it usually just wakes me up for a while. It's loud and I'm a light sleeper." Rin lowered his voice, the color in his cheeks deepening. "I don't usually have nightmares anymore."

Haru searched Rin's eyes. "But you did. Last night."

Rin tensed. "Haru, it's your birthday. I don't want to make this about all of my shit—"

"I asked," Haru said. "I won't make you tell me. But I want you to, if you're OK talking about it."

Rin swallowed with visible effort, his scarlet eyes troubled. "I can…try."

Rin… "It doesn't have to be now. If you'd rather wait until Brazil—"

But Rin shook his head. "No, I'll… In twenty-three days, probably…" he trailed off. "Now's better." The breeze brushed strands of ruby hair across Rin's face. He paused to swipe them away, the sunlight glinting off the shark and dolphin on his bracelet. "It's usually the same thing, you know? The boat going down in the storm. My dad and the others…"

Haru nodded. "You told me about it once."

Rin's eyes and nose reddened. "This time was…different." He paused as if to gather himself, struggling to get the words out. "I was on the boat." Rin's voice deteriorated. "You…and the kids were…home—" He broke off as his face crumpled.

Haru sucked air, his eyes going wide. Rin…you dreamt that…?

Rin wiped his face with the edge of his hand, the words coming out in a shattered whisper. "I wasn't going to see any of you again…and I just…couldn't—"

Moisture stung Haru's eyes. He needed to be there and hold Rin…but he wasn't, he couldn't. The distance between them was like a weight, pushing down on his shoulders. The yearning he felt was crushing and sharp— "Rin…"

"I was drowning and I couldn't breathe and then I woke up…"

Haru gripped the strap of his messenger bag, his knuckles going white. His nails bit into his palm.

"I couldn't tell you last night because it was just…too real."

Haru's breath trailed from his lips. That's why…

On the screen, Rin was waiting, still brushing away tears. "God. Haru, say something— I need you to—"

Haru sniffed hard, forcing his fingers to loosen on the strap of his bag. "You're…not going to take up fishing, right?"

"Fuck no. Never."

"Then…it wouldn't happen like that, Rin."

"Yeah." Rin exhaled roughly. "I tried to tell myself that. But in the middle of the night—fuck. I just—"

Part of you wanted to run away. Find some safe place where this can't happen. Like being alone. Haru blinked slowly, feeling the ache that accompanied those thoughts and the way it slowly subsided. If there's no 'us,' no one can get hurt. Except it's too late for that now, Rin. "It's not like it's even possible. To 'protect' people like that. Too many people already love you."

Rin blushed hard. "I know that. And there's no way I'm giving up what we have over some stupid, shitty dream or leaving because I'm afraid something bad might—might—happen…"

The weight eased on Haru's shoulders, giving way to relief. "Rin…"

Rin pinched the bridge of his nose. "But why we're having this conversation while you're in the middle of a fucking airport—"

Because it's us, Rin. Warmth welled up in Haru's chest. "What were they like? Our…kids?"

Rin dropped his hand, his face softening. "I don't know. I just…knew I loved them as much as I loved you and the thought of leaving them, hurting them— Having them grow up without both of us—"

Haru blinked rapidly, trying to quell a resurgence of tears. "Rin. How much trouble do you think I'd get in if I tried to board the flight to Málaga instead?"

"Haru…what?"

He looked back at the departure board, at glowing letters for Air Europa flight 1036 to Málaga, Spain. "It leaves ten minutes before my flight to Clermont-Ferrand—"

Rin snorted. He was smiling as he dried his face. "I don't know. But if you tried hard enough, I'm sure the French police would arrest your ass."

"I could pretend I don't speak French."

"You don't speak French, Haru."

"Or English."

"Then you're just gonna give Coach Akagi and Captain Ikehara extra paperwork."

Haru smiled. "Rin. If you have more dreams about our…family…tell me, OK?"

Rin looked back at him with glistening eyes. "Yeah. I will."

-x-

Along the east bank of the Allier River, Vichy was vibrant green against cream and pale stone buildings. There were parks, expansive lawns, trailing ivy vines, and tall, leafy trees. Apartment buildings—five to six stories in height—had narrow balconies with intricately designed metal railings. The shuttle passed two sprawling complexes housing thermal baths before pulling up to the hotel on Avenue Victoria. Haru climbed out of the vehicle with his teammates, taking in the building of stone and square windows, with small archways shaded by red awnings along the first floor. It was pleasantly warm, the broad sidewalk drenched in sunlight, and the breeze made the branches of the maple trees sway and dance. Haru tugged on the handle of his suitcase, following the others inside.

The lobby had a large seating area and a bar, with dark columns and red accent walls. Inset lighting glowed in the ceiling while daylight from the windows made the colors pop. Haru's gaze was drawn to low couches upholstered in black fabric with scarlet pillows. Rin would've liked the color scheme.

Coach Fujino was waiting for them near the check-in desk in a cobalt polo shirt and khaki pants. "Welcome Olympians." He greeted them with a smile. "You must be exhausted after so much travel. Captain Ikehara—"

The sofas looked so comfortable. Haru knew if he laid down for a second he'd be able to fall asleep. A projection on the wall behind the front desk said it was 5:16pm, meaning it was 8am according to his internal clock still on Flagstaff time. If he could just make it three…four more hours, he'd probably sleep through the night. Haru shifted, feeling grimy in his travel clothes. I want a bath.

Mikoshiba and Takara were eyeing the drinks being poured at the bar.

"…How does that sound, everyone?" Coach Fujino asked.

The others were nodding.

"Sounds good, Coach," Ozawa said.

Coach Akagi was passing out room key folders. "Dinner at six, Nanase-kun," he said.

"Ah." Haru dipped his head, clutching the small pamphlet that bore his name in cursive. His teammates were already rolling their suitcases towards the elevators; Haru joined them.

The room he would share with Mikoshiba was on the third floor. There were two beds next to each other, blond wood accents, and a desk with shelving and a narrow closet by the window. The drapes were bark and orange-red, making Haru think of cinnamon. The small, brightly-lit bathroom only had a shower.

"Mind if I shower first, Nanase-kun? Then you can take as long as you want." Mikoshiba set his travel bag on the closer of the two beds and unpacked a few things.

Haru shrugged. "Sure." He maneuvered his suitcase to the bed nearest the window. He dropped his sweatshirt and messenger bag on the bench by the desk and put the shark plush by his pillow. Haru sighed, looking down at the toy. I wish I was going to bed with you tonight. Sleeping wrapped up in Rin's arms with Rin's heartbeat beneath his ear was all he wanted in the world right now.

Mikoshiba was done in five minutes, letting a steam cloud into the room as he walked out with wet, spiky hair and a towel slung around his hips. "All yours, Nanase-kun."

"Thanks." Haru carried a change of clothes into the bathroom and closed the door. He peeled off fabric that felt cemented to his skin and turned the shower on, adjusting the temperature until the water was the cool side of tepid.

Haru stepped under the spray and closed his eyes, letting the water run through his hair and coat his skin. At first, he did nothing but turn slowly, wetting himself down as if he were a sponge or a sun-dried fish that needed water like he needed air. Eventually, he set about washing, his motions absent-minded and repetitive; he might've washed his hair twice but he couldn't really remember.

Haru was back to standing under the cascade of droplets when Mikoshiba knocked on the door.

"Nanase-kun, we gotta be down in five."

He numbly twisted the water off. "Hai."

Haru toweled off, pulling on fresh underwear, black shorts, and a blue AdO Arena T-shirt he'd gotten in Norway. He left his hair damp, slipping into a pair of sandals as he followed Mikoshiba from the room.

The restaurant was on the first floor, around the corner from the lobby. It was a large, open hall full of small tables with bright red columns and a tiny floral pattern on the carpet. Dinner was buffet style and just starting service. There were groups of athletes in warmups interspersed with travelers in street clothes. Haru's coaches had moved enough small tables together to accommodate them.

"Before you all run off to the buffet," Coach Fujino said, once they were all gathered. He stood at the head of the table, his hand resting on the back of his chair. "One point of business. Nanase-kun—"

Haru looked up.

Coach Fujino smiled. "Happy Birthday."

His teammates echoed the sentiment and Haru bowed his head in acknowledgement. "Thanks."

Everyone scattered to the buffet after that—well, Mikoshiba, Takara, and Ozawa went in search of booze, first—and Haru wandered among the stations, looking for mackerel or at least some kind of fish.

"My apologies for making you spend your birthday on a plane, Nanase-kun," Coach Fujino said, joining him with a plate in hand.

Haru shrugged. "It's fine." If he couldn't be with Rin, or home with his friends, or in a pool, it didn't really matter where he was or what else he was doing. "I celebrated early."

"Yes, I heard about the dolphins in Phoenix. You have very caring friends."

I miss them. "Hai," he said. He stared at the offerings spread out before him, exhaling at the lack of saba.

"You know, I believe they had maquereau au vin blanc on the station over there."

His head popped up. "Where?"

Fujino smiled, pointing.

-x-

Haru's belly was pleasantly full of saba—and a little bit of salad to make Rin happy—when he got back to his room after dinner, managing to escape before Mikoshiba and Takara could rope him into the bar. The quiet in the room was blissful. Haru sat down on the edge of his bed and pulled out his phone. At 7pm, it was too early to Skype with Rin, who probably had his hands full keeping Momo as far from the desserts as possible. But at this rate, he wasn't going to make it to nine. The daylight beyond the window wasn't helping him stay awake.

Haru dropped down against the sheets, gazing blearily at his phone as he worked through browser instructions in French to get connected to wireless. He at least had to text Rin to let him know he was going to bed early—

Haru tapped out half of the message before his eyelids drooped and wouldn't open again. His hand fell to the bed, the phone slipping through his fingers—

-x-

"Nanase-kun." Mikoshiba was shaking him.

Haru grunted, blinking wearily. "What?"

The room was darker—red-gold with the last rays of sunset. Mikoshiba was standing beside the bed, looking way too sober—not to mention awake—for someone who had to be several drinks in by now.

"Sorry, but Captain Ikehara asked for you. He said it was important."

"Nn." Haru rolled over. "Really? Or are you trying to get me drunk on my birthday?"

"Nanase-kun, if I was gonna drag you down to the bar, I wouldn't be asking and Takara would be helping." The guy grinned.

Haru sighed. "Fine." He pushed himself up, slipping his phone into the pocket of his shorts and donning his sandals. Stifling a yawn, he followed Mikoshiba downstairs.

In the lobby, they turned right instead of left—heading the opposite direction from the restaurant. As they passed the bar, Haru caught a glimpse of Takara and Ozawa at the center of a cluster of other athletes, shot glasses in hand.

Mikoshiba took him down a hallway where it was less noisy, with closed doors leading into meeting rooms. "This one." Mikoshiba stopped in front of the first set of doors.

Haru glanced at his friend suspiciously, but the guy merely shrugged. Exhaling, Haru twisted the knob—

Captain Ikehara was alone in the small conference room, his frame bathed in blue light from the projector that was on but not showing anything. He had a laptop with him, the screen turned away. Shades were drawn over the windows and only a few of the overhead lights were on. The captain's face was grave.

Haru paused in the doorway with his hand still on the knob. He'd never seen that expression on Ikehara before. His palms went clammy as he tried to think— Had something else ended up on the internet? He couldn't think of anything weird he'd done, but—

"Sorry for waking you up, Nanase-kun." Ikehara's tone matched the seriousness of his face. "But I have something here you need to see." The captain waved him into the room.

Haru's pulse was pounding in his throat as he forced himself to let go of the doorknob and approach Captain Ikehara at the table.

Ikehara looked back at the laptop. "Here, I'll put it on the screen—"

Haru turned—

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Haru-chan!" "Haruka-senpai!" "Haru!" "Nanase-senpai!"

Haru's eyes blew wide, his breath catching—

The screen was split into four sections and all of his friends were smiling back at him—Nagisa and Rei…Gou…Rin and Momo…and Makoto. You guys— He only belatedly realized there was a webcam set up in front of the free-standing projector screen.

Before he could even think of responding, the door opened and the overhead lights went out—

"Nanase-kun, Happy Birthday!" His teammates burst into the room, Ozawa and Konishi carrying a tray between them with a round cake on top, brilliantly ablaze with sparkler candles.

Then the room was suddenly filled with roving, multi-colored lights and Mikoshiba and Takara had the karaoke machine out, singing Happy Birthday badly in English while the cake was set on the table in front of him—

Haru was stunned speechless, looking around at his friends and teammates. Everyone— The warmth rose up inside him, thick and overwhelming, and the tears spilled down his cheeks before he could even think not to cry.

"Aww, Haru-chan." Nagisa sniffled. "If you cry, I'm gonna cry too—"

"Makoto-senpai, are you crying?" Gou asked.

"Gou-san!"

"Momo! You idiot, don't ruin the moment."

Everyone laughed and Haru quickly wiped his eyes, the leather of his bracelet soft as it brushed his face. He finally drew a breath. "You— Everyone—" Haru gave up, sniffing hard.

"Can't even talk, huh?" Rin was grinning at him through the screen, one arm holding Momo in a headlock.

Rin. Haru locked eyes with his lover and only managed to shake his head.

"Nanase-kun, make a wish," Konishi said, the light from golden sparklers glinting off her black hair as she pushed the cake towards him.

"Before something catches fire, preferably," Ikehara said.

The round cake was iced in white, with twenty candles around the edge. In the middle was a blue dolphin wearing a gold medal and Joyeaux Anniversaire written in careful script.

"Make it a good one, Haru," Rin said. "Something big. Not, 'I wish I was at the pool right now.'"

Haru drew a long breath— Wishing to be with Rin was obvious but it wasn't enough for the outpouring of love he felt drenched in. Not even Rio was big enough. He closed his eyes briefly, his hands curling at his sides. I wish…that Rin and I can swim together in Tokyo 2020, surrounded by our friends… Opening his eyes, he blew, the golden sparklers going dark one-by-one—

Cheering and applause filled the room. As Konishi and Nakagawa took to slicing the cake, the karaoke started up again and six-packs of beer appeared out of nowhere…

Haru moved towards the screen. "Isn't it the middle of the night?" he asked, looking at Makoto.

"Why do you think we're all in our pajamas, Haru?" Makoto said, smiling at him with moist eyes.

Gou shrugged. "It's almost 5am. I usually get up this early anyways, for practice."

"Gou-san!" Momo struggled in Rin's grasp, his arms waving towards the screen.

"Oi, Momo!"

"Gou-kun!" Mikoshiba broke away from the song long enough to grin and wave.

Gou blushed, wincing a little. "Uh—"

"Gou, practice for what?" Rin asked, still working to hold onto a wriggling Momo.

"Swim team."

"Gou-chan, you joined the swim team?" Nagisa asked.

Rin's eyes narrowed with suspicion. "Gou, you don't swim—"

She laughed, strands of red hair falling across her brow. "Well, of course that's not why. I help the guys stretch and stuff. You know, for class."

"You what?!"

Momo's eyes bugged, his mouth forming an O-shape.

Makoto and Rei blushed while Nagisa leaned in, his eyes gleaming with intrigue.

"Takara, I need a beer," Mikoshiba muttered, handing off the microphone to Ozawa as he grabbed one of the cans from the table.

Rin rubbed a hand over his face in exasperation while Haru smiled, soaking in each moment—

Nagisa chuckled. "Rei-chan, look. Haru-chan and Rin-chan have matching bracelets."

Haru and Rin flushed in unison. Rin—not very subtly—dropped his arm out of view.

"Are they from…Barcelona?" Nagisa asked, his smile sly.

Rei, Gou, and Makoto went quiet, peering into the screen, their sharpened gazes landing on Haru's wrist.

"Oh, oh, I know!" Momo shot a hand into the air. "Yes, they're from Barcelona!" He lowered his voice to a whisper, pink staining his cheeks. "By the curb, I saw them kissing—"

Rin clapped a hand over the kid's mouth, his face as red as his hair.

"The entire world has seen you two kissing," Takara said, taking a break from karaoke to pop the tab on a can of beer. "It's old news."

Rin grunted, looking away.

Momo managed to squirm free. "Not that kind of kissing. Like the time Sakamoto-senpai kissed Yamazaki-senpai. You know, with tongue—"

"Momo!" Rin tackled the kid, the two of them disappearing off screen.

Haru blushed harder, but Takara went crimson.

"Ohhhh, Taka-chan and Sou-chan?"

Ozawa cocked a brow, lowering the microphone briefly. "Takara-chan, you didn't tell me—"

"There's nothing to tell!"

"Nanase-kun, what've you been doing in front of my brother?!"

"Nn. It was just a little one," Haru muttered. On the screen, Gou, Makoto, and Rei were blushing fiercely while Nagisa was whispering something behind his hand into Rei's ear with a far-from-innocent smile on his face.

Takara slammed half of her beer and came over, slinging an arm around Haru's shoulders. "We're getting off topic," she said, glaring at Nagisa.

Haru eyed her, trying to gauge how drunk she was…not drunk enough, apparently. He pushed her arm off his shoulder with a finger, but she just put it back.

"Matsuoka! Stop wrestling the kid and get back here. You're singing next!"

Rin came back into view, his face red and it was difficult to tell how much was embarrassment and how much was exertion. He straightened his tank top. "Oh, like hell, Sakamoto—"

"Cue it up, Seijuurou!"

"I could just pull up YouTube," Captain Ikehara said, between bites of cake.

"Does Haru-chan sing?" Nagisa asked.

"I don't think I've ever heard Haruka-senpai sing," Rei said, adjusting his glasses.

Makoto chuckled. "Haru's either incredibly monotone or incredibly into it; it depends on the song."

Rin lifted a brow and Haru pressed his lips. Nn.

Takara laughed, letting go. "We could sing that."

Haru inhaled. Uh-oh…

"Which one, Takara-kun?" Mikoshiba asked, over by the machine.

"What do you mean, 'which one'? The only song Haruka's been singing since Barcelona." She went and retrieved one of the microphones.

"Haha! That—"

Haru's face started to burn. Everyone on screen was looking at him curiously now, especially Rin. Momo popped up behind Rin's shoulder, looking on.

I'm not gonna get out of this, am I? Takara put the microphone in his hand. Not after you sang publicly for me…

Haru sighed, closing his eyes for a second and gripping the microphone. It was awkward the first time he sang it with his teammates, too, but… He glanced behind him. "Takara, Ozawa-senpai, Konishi-san…you'll help, like usual?"

Ozawa, standing at the center of the trio and holding the other mic, gave him a big thumbs-up. "Of course!"

Haru drew a deep breath and looked back at the screen.

Rin was giving him a look like, what the fuck is the usual?

"Ready, Haruka?"

"Nn. I guess."

As the syncopated notes of the punk rock song—Chiisana Koi no Uta—by Mongol800 started, Haru lifted the mic— "Hiroi uchuu no kazu aru hitotsu…" His voice was joined by electric guitar and a steady backbeat.

{In this vast universe,

In a single vast blue planet,

My small feelings of love reach out to you…}

"Oh, that is incredibly monotone," Nagisa said.

"Shh, Nagisa-kun, that part is supposed to be monotone!" Gou said. She was covering her mouth with her hands, but obviously grinning.

As the full drum set came in, Rin blushed all the way to his ears, his gaze flattened and he obviously recognized the song—

"Anata to deai toki wa nagareru…"

{Time has passed since I met you,

And the letters adorning our feelings are also increasing.

Someday, they will echo unnoticed in our hearts…}

When the chorus came up, the ladies took over, singing upbeat and loud— "Hora! Anata ni totte, daiji ni hito hodo sugu soba ni iru no…"

{Hey! The person who is important to you is right by your side.}

Haru bit his lower lip as he watched Rin's face cloud.

{They just want it to reach you.

Resound, O song of love.

Hey— Hey— Hey—

Resound, O song of love.}

As the chorus ended, he drew another breath— "Anata wa kidzuku, futari wa aruku…"

{Even if the two of us should walk a dark road,

The moon would illuminate our days.

Never letting go of your hand.

Our feelings are strong and we vow it's for all eternity…}

Rin's eyes moistened, glistening with tears.

"Eien no uchi, kitto boku wa iu…"

{Eternally recurring, I will surely say the same exact words.

But those words will never cease, they will turn into tears, then to joy.

Unable to speak, I will just hold you.

I will just hold you—}

Haru's voice broke on the last and he got it out with effort. "…tada dakishimeru—"

Shimmering trails spilled down Rin's face.

Everyone else sang the chorus the second time—their teammates in the room and their friends on the screen, all belting out the familiar lyrics. "Hora! Anata ni totte—"

Haru held Rin's gaze as the words of the song surrounded them. {The person who is important to you is right by your side.} He gripped the microphone tightly, letting it all shine in his eyes. I love you, Rin.

Rin swiped at his tears and grinned, laughing and crying at the same time. His eyes danced with the same love as they looked at each other.

-x-

The party started to deteriorate as the empty beer cans piled up. The Japan crowd logged off for class or more sleep and—while Momo sang loud, off-key karaoke with his drunk brother—it was easy for Haru to catch Rin's gaze on the screen and slip away from the room, unnoticed…

It was late, the night sky clear and dotted with stars beyond the window in Haru's hotel room. He perched on the edge of the bed, Skyping on his phone.

"How long, do you think, before the coaches start enforcing curfew?" Rin was on a sofa in a small common area, where it was quiet.

"Soon, probably," Haru said. "It's not like Coach Akagi doesn't know. He and Captain Ikehara are roommates."

Rin smiled, though his expression quickly turned wistful. "I wish I could've been there, Haru."

Haru's throat closed hot and tight. He shook his head. "Rin, you already…" He pressed his lips, managing a whisper. "Thanks."

"Ehh." Rin rubbed the back of his neck, blushing a little. "I had a lot of help. Captain Ikehara and Sakamoto organized a lot of your end, and Makoto helped me set things up with the others." He snorted. "Not all of that was my idea, you know."

"You didn't ask for beer and karaoke and bad singing?"

Rin's face softened. "No. But some of that…I'm glad."

Haru's cheeks heated.

"You've really been singing that since Barcelona?"

"…Yeah."

The warmth in Rin's gaze was almost like the familiar press of arms around his shoulders…

"Did you make a good wish, Haru? Don't tell me—it's supposed to be a secret, but… It was a good one, right?"

Haru smiled. "Yeah. It is."

Not long after that, the room phone trilled. Haru glanced at it. "I'd better…"

"Yeah. Go."

Haru got up, crossing to the phone by the entryway. "Hai?"

"Nanase-kun." It was Captain Ikehara. "Sorry, but do you mind coming down to retrieve your roommate? Konishi-san and I kind of have our hands full with the others."

"Sure. I'll be right there."

"Thanks." The relief was evident in Ikehara's voice.

Haru placed the receiver back into its cradle. "Rin, I—"

"Yeah. I'd better go check on Momo." Rin smiled. "Happy Birthday, Haru."

"Thanks." Haru waved, his heart full to overflowing as he hung up and headed out the door…

-x-

The elevator stopped on the second floor on the way down. When the doors slid open, Coach Akagi was standing there, holding a cell phone.

Haru bowed his head in greeting, wondering how much trouble they were all in…

"Reinforcements?" Akagi asked, slipping the device into his pocket.

"Hai."

Akagi just nodded and Haru was relieved.

The conference room was pretty well cleaned up by the time Haru got there. All the trash and food had been taken care of, equipment put away.

…And there were four swimmers passed out in chairs at the table—Mikoshiba, Takara, Ozawa, and Nakagawa.

Coach Akagi sighed, standing in the doorway and surveying the scene. He glanced back at Haru. "You can manage him, right?"

"Yeah." After a year at Koutei, Haru was used to this. He went and gathered Mikoshiba from his chair, draping one of the guy's arms across his shoulders.

Mikoshiba came awake—sort of, staggering a little as he got his feet under him. "Ah, Nanase-kun. Haha. Hell of a party."

"Come on, you have to at least try to walk." Haru wrapped a stabilizing arm around Mikoshiba's waist, guiding them towards the door.

"Are we in trouble, Akagi-sensei?" Nakagawa asked, her voice slurred as Akagi hoisted her up, piggy-back style.

"You will be if Coach Fujino finds out…"

Haru and Mikoshiba made it to the door first and across the lobby with mincing steps. There was no sign of Coach Fujino, fortunately, and the lobby bar was still plenty crowded.

In the elevator, Haru leaned the guy against the wall—not letting go, but resting while he could.

Mikoshiba's eyes were mostly closed, his head lolling against Haru's shoulder and his breath thick with the scent of beer. "So, Nanase-kun? Better than last year?"

Haru smiled. "Yeah."

---

Friday, July 1st, 2016

---

Haru was exhausted the next morning, but at least he wasn't hung over. Four of his teammates wore sunglasses at the breakfast table, their plates uniformly eggs, toast, and oatmeal. It was a small miracle that Mikoshiba and Takara were conscious at all. Coach Fujino pulled Coach Akagi and Captain Ikehara aside for a 'chat,' but that seemed to be the worst of it. Until we get to the pool, probably. They were all dressed in matching Team Japan attire—white and black T-shirts with one red sleeve and gray shorts with a water pattern. It was square leg day and Haru's thighs felt cool and free beneath the loose Team Japan shorts. He was starting to like the way it felt, actually.

The shuttle ride from the hotel to the Stade Aquatique de Vichy Val d'Allier crossed the Allier River and took less than ten minutes. The day was clear and sunny, the temperature crisp in the morning but forecasted to be hot by midday—though Haru's definition of 'hot' had changed in Phoenix. Vichy's daily high of 29 degrees C was balmy in comparison.

In an area of grassy fields and low trees, the shuttle pulled up to a triangular building with a sloped roof and cobalt blue siding. Large sections of the parking lot and the surrounding walkways were full of small tents and kiosks in various stages of completion. The shuttle let them off in front of the entrance, the building set a short distance from the curb. The entryway was all windows with a glass dome beyond, sparkling in the sun, and Haru could hear the sound of the water and the whistle from the outdoor 50m pool.

They headed into the lobby for registration, one whole wall looking into the large, glass-enclosed space that housed a 25m warm up pool, a wading pool, and waterslides…

The locker room was massive and already crowded with athletes. Haru stripped down to his square legs—the suit navy blue with flowing lines of ocean-blue and sea-foam green down the sides. He smoothed his cap over his hair and grabbed his goggles before heading out into the glass-enclosed dome where they were supposed to meet.

After two full days without pool time, the influx of warm, chlorinated air was a heady rush…and the view left him breathless. The dome was centered over the wading pools—concentric circles spreading outward, with water right up to the lip of each arc. A coiled staircase led up to the waterslide, which snaked down and splashed into the left-hand side of the leisure pool. To the right, in an adjacent section, seating areas surrounded the 25m pool. Beyond both pools, an entire wall of clear glass looked out at the 50m swimming pool outside.

Haru gripped his goggles as he took it all in. The place was beautiful, enough to make him reconsider Rin's suggestion about transferring to the School of Architecture. He could dream up pools like this all day long…design them, build them, swim in them… Except for the design-build part taking years, it sounded like a good idea. Or we could just travel to these places and swim together—

The thought was bittersweet, catching hot in his throat. Two months ago, Rin sent him pictures of this place. I wouldn't be standing here now if not for what you did. Helping him work through his fears and prepare for this trip was only one item in a long list of things Rin had done for him. There were big things like Sydney and Barcelona and small, precious details like karaoke in Rome and the bracelet that left a tan line on his wrist. Not to mention last night—all of the work you did to make my birthday special—even though Rin was wading through some difficult stuff on his own. Haru knew it wasn't a competition—that love wasn't measured by the quality or quantity of things they did for each other. But he longed to reciprocate, to answer with something that required more from him than a medal in Barcelona or a stuffed dolphin. Maybe, after Rio…

"There must be something wrong if you're just staring at the water without being in it, Haruka." Takara adjusted her swim cap as she joined him. She wore a lavender practice suit, her eyes still a little bloodshot.

"Mm. Just…thinking," he said.

She tapped his wrist, absent of the bracelet. "Only three more weeks, right? You can make it."

"…Yeah." But his heart fell, thinking of all that time and distance and Rin's soft words… There's a lot I want to tell you. Not like this, though.

Takara tugged on his arm, guiding him towards the warm up pool. "Come on."

At the edge of the water, he set his goggles in place and dove in, starting his warm ups. The cool water surrounded him, gliding across his skin as he moved. The muted world beneath the surface always brought him clarity and focus…and today was no different. A solitary thought seized him and wouldn't let go—

There could be a lot of summer storms in three weeks' time.

-x-

Practice was brutal, especially with the residual jetlag. The abundance of oxygen to his lungs and muscles after weeks at elevation in Flagstaff helped, but Haru still felt drained when they were done. The thrill he usually felt—just being in the water—was absent.

He stood under cold spray in one of the shower stalls in the locker room, still in his square legs. When he should've been done, he reached for the knob to turn the water off, but his fingers fell short, returning numbly to his side. Three more weeks. Out of two months, they were one week past halfway. It wasn't really fair to think of the whole two months anymore—not given Barcelona—but the majority of the travel and competitions were behind them, now. After the French Open this weekend, it would just be a grind of training and taper for days on end…until São Paulo.

The length of time felt like forever.

Haru turned and sank down to sit on the tiled floor. He hugged his knees to his chest as the cool water ran through his hair and pelted his shoulders. Could they make it? Of course. It wasn't like they had a choice, anyways. They would both grit their teeth and slog through it, somehow. But there was a part of him that he'd tried so hard to shove down, bottle up, and ignore… If he were honest with himself, that part had only grown in his negligence, the part of him that didn't want to anymore—that wanted Rin and home and for all of this to simply be over.

Haru rested his forehead on his knees, the water cascading down the back of his neck, cold enough to make him shiver. Rin hadn't explained in so many words what he was going through; Haru could only guess at pieces from the ghosts he'd seen in Rin's eyes and the bits Rin had talked about. Rin rarely spoke about his father's death, even when they were kids it was a subject that came up only once or twice. He heard most of the details from Gou and from Makoto, who always seemed to be sensitive to the way things affected people. When Rin talked about his dad it was usually in the context of his dream and the Olympics… I know you said it was your dream and not his that you're after, but… If things—memories?—were surfacing now, wouldn't it only get worse, the closer they got to Rio? Haru knew he couldn't fix Rin and he would never delude himself to try…but if—like the storms—he could help… If, by being there, by brushing away tears and whispering I love you, he could soothe the pain even a little… He wanted so badly to be able to do that for the one he loved. Phone calls and nights cuddling through Skype were better than nothing, but that didn't stop the ache in his chest when he knew Rin was still hurting—

The water cut off abruptly.

Haru raised his head, shaking the water from his hair and blinking.

"Here you are, Nanase-kun." Captain Ikehara stood in the open door of the stall. He was still in plum-colored square legs from practice, a towel slung around his shoulders. The overhead lighting caught on the copper highlights in his damp hair.

I guess I should've locked the door.

Ikehara gestured with a nod of his head. "Come on out."

Haru wordlessly got up, numb from more than just the cold water as he followed his captain into the main area of the locker room. The place had cleared out compared to the busyness of the morning.

Ikehara handed him a fresh towel, pointing him to a bench.

They sat, Haru towel-drying his hair while he felt the captain's expectant gaze.

"Something bothering you?"

Haru shook his head.

"Because—as far as I know—the last time you did this, it was because of the water concerns in Rio, back at training camp."

Haru stopped drying, his hands falling to his lap as he remembered how Rin found him in the shower and held him until he felt better. Add that to the list of things you've done for me. Actions and moments that said, 'I love you,' long before we ever confessed in Barcelona. Haru's eyes stung.

"Nanase-kun?"

"It's not…that," he said quietly.

A silent moment passed between them.

"Is there someone else you want to talk to? Mikoshiba-kun or Sakamoto-san? Or I could grab your phone for you."

Haru shook his head. Talking wouldn't fix this. A plane ticket might.

At length, Ikehara sighed. "Look. You're an adult now. If you want to go through life moping around and shutting down when something upsets you, that's your business. But you're better off finding more productive ways of dealing with your problems than this."

Haru looked up. "But they won't—"

Ikehara met his gaze. "Did you ask?"

Haru didn't answer. How could I possibly…?

"Because if you asked and they said no, you need to do what you have to do to get over it. But if you didn't ask…then the answer will always be no and you'll never know if it could've been yes."

Haru swallowed hard around the lump forming in his throat. "But…if I ask for special treatment, it's not fair."

The captain lifted a brow. "What's not fair?"

His hands curled in his lap. "I'm not the only one who…misses someone."

Ikehara's eyes softened with compassion. "Nanase-kun. If I said I needed to go home for a week to see my wife and daughter, don't you think they'd let me? We're here because we've chosen to be here, not because anyone is forcing us." The captain smiled faintly. "This isn't some kind of test to see how hard they can push us until we break. No one can decide for you what your limits are or where that line is. Our coaches try, but there's only so much they can do." His expression sobered. "By the time they're reacting to the warning signs, it might already be too late."

Haru pressed his lips. "I'm not gonna lose it like Sugiyama-senpai."

"I wasn't suggesting that. But I am saying…you have a responsibility to take care of yourself and speak up when you need to. People aren't going to treat you like a kid anymore." He paused. "Makes sense?"

Haru nodded. "Yeah."

The captain rubbed his brow. "One more thing, Nanase-kun…" He exhaled. "If you're serious about clean water and all the concerns in Rio and around the world…you can't be that guy who sits in the shower with the water running when you get upset."

Nn. Haru slumped a little, feeling sheepish.

"Try to find something more constructive. Get in the pool, do your art thing… Just not this. OK?"

"…Hai."

Ikehara smiled and got up.

Haru followed, clutching his towel around his shoulders. He inhaled as Ikehara started to move off. "Captain?"

Ikehara paused, glancing back. "Hm?"

"Thank you."

The captain's eyes warmed. "Sure. Anytime."

-x-

Haru's heart pounded as he logged onto his laptop after lunch, sitting on top of the covers in his hotel room while Mikoshiba snored one bed over. As soon as he was connected, he started a flight search… As results came in, Haru grabbed the hotel pen and notepad off the desk, jotting down times and prices…

An hour later, he dropped down to the bed, exhausted. He pushed the laptop and notepad aside, grabbing his stuffed shark instead. A train ride to Lyon, a flight to Málaga, a car to Sierra Nevada…he could do it all for about 300 Euros, one way. Each one of his gold medals in Barcelona had earned him 330 Euros, not to mention the additional for meet records. It was possible he'd make more this weekend, too, if he didn't screw it up. The thought of trading money for the chance to see Rin seemed ridiculous and obvious—of course he didn't care about money. He'd pay a lot more than 300 Euros. Time was more the issue—it was a minimum of nine hours of travel, making anything shorter than a few days impractical. All of that would cut into his training…not that he cared about missing training, but the people paying for him to be here did. His coaches, too—they had plans laid out for him. What had Coach Fujino said at the beginning? These itineraries have been carefully selected for you by our staff and the JASF…

It was all of those things that weren't money that made the sweat break out on his palms. He wasn't the kind of person that asked for things or asked for help. He didn't go through life demanding that people bend to his needs and desires. Instead, he adapted where he could and withdrew when he couldn't, sinking into the calm, quiet world underwater where disappointments didn't matter and he didn't need anything.

What if they say no? The thought filled him with dread, the fear pulsing in his throat. …What if they say yes? In some ways, that was equally terrifying…because it meant that Captain Ikehara was right, that he couldn't just hide in the water anymore, that he had to step out and move and make an effort for what he wanted. That merely swimming fast wasn't going to be enough to get to the future he wanted. His throat went dry as he stared up at the featureless ceiling, clutching the shark to his chest. Things like this were so easy for Rin, but for him it felt like swimming against a strong current with ropes tied around his limbs, holding him back—

Haru closed his eyes, drawing a deep breath and letting it out slowly. Was Rin worth it, though? Oh God, yes.

-x-

They were back at the pool in the afternoon with an hour to relax and recuperate before practice started up again. Haru's teammates hit the jacuzzi, sauna, or leisure pool, but he went in search of his coaches, his dog-eared paper of scribbled notes tucked into the pocket of his shorts.

He found Coach Fujino and Coach Akagi in a glass-walled meeting room on the second floor of the facility, with views of the 50m pool outside. It was clear the two were in conference, with notebooks and stacks of paper in front of them. Haru's nerves—already coiled tight in his stomach—worsened at the thought of interrupting them with his request.

"Can I help you, Nanase-kun?" There was a woman sitting outside of the conference room in one of several comfortable chairs. She wore a white, short-sleeve blouse and a navy blue pencil skirt, her hair twisted up and secured with what appeared to be a stylus. He recognized her as one of the team's sponsor reps, though he couldn't remember her name. They'd had so many filtering in and out over the course of the trip. The woman only looked up briefly from her Blackberry, glancing at him through thin glasses.

Haru cleared his throat with effort, forcing the words out. "I was…wanting to talk to Coach Fujino and Coach Akagi."

"They're in a meeting right now. …Unless there's something I can assist you with?"

His heart sunk as what little bravery he'd been able to muster started to erode. "I…I guess I'll come back…" He didn't know what else to do.

The sponsor rep nodded, returning to her Blackberry.

Haru turned, going numb with disappointment while some sick inner voice reveled in validation. See, you couldn't do it even when you wanted to. His throat closed as the feelings of failure weighed on him—just like in high school when his feet touched the bottom of the pool during the 100m free and everyone, with all their expectations, stared at him. His own voice echoed in his head, "Dream? Future? I don't have any of that!"

But that wasn't true anymore. He had a dream he wanted with Rin. He had a future he wanted with Rin. Haru's steps slowed…and stopped. And those things were worth fighting for, were worth slogging through his own fears and proclivities. He wanted to do something for Rin that was more than what was easy…even if the answer was no. So…fuck it, I'm doing this now. Wasn't that how Rin decided things?

Haru came back and bowed from the waist in front of the sponsor rep. "Sumimasen. I have a request."

"Yes, Nanase-kun?"

Haru stayed with his head bowed, his heart pounding in his chest. "I want to be allowed to travel to Sierra Nevada."

There was a short pause; the woman set her Blackberry aside on the small end table next to her chair. "For…?"

"To see Rin."

"Matsuoka-kun?"

"Hai." He swallowed hard, his face feeling hot.

"…I'm listening."

Haru blinked, straightening. There has to be more?

The woman was looking at him with one arm perched on the edge of her chair, her gaze expectant.

"Uh—"

"For how long, Nanase-kun? A few days, a week? Until São Paulo?"

Yes, any. Haru inhaled. "I hadn't—"

Her gaze sharpened. "Tell me what you want, Nanase-kun. Let's start there."

"I want to do my high altitude training in Spain with Rin. Not here." The words spilled from his lips, his face burning. I just asked for the moon.

The woman smiled with her eyes in a way that reminded Haru of a satisfied cat. She adjusted her glasses and lowered her hand. "Training decisions are made by the coaching staff."

"But you'd have to approve the cost." The sponsors controlled the checkbook. He could cover the transportation there but not room and board and everything else.

"Yes, that's quite true." She shifted in the chair, crossing her legs. "In addition to the cost to get you there…we'd have to make arrangements with Sierra Nevada and cancel arrangements made here in France. That were made months ago, I might add. All that assuming the facility in Spain has the space available. Your flights to São Paulo, as well, would have to be changed. I doubt I have to explain how expensive that could be. It adds up, obviously."

Then… Haru steeled himself. "Are you saying no?"

"I didn't say that, Nanase-kun." She smiled faintly. "Supposing the coaching staff could accommodate the changes to your training… What's the benefit to my company to finance your request?"

Haru drew a breath, trying to think—

"We toss around ad campaigns all the time about achieving dreams and inspiring the next generation. But this is the real world, Nanase-kun, and my bottom line is about selling products. Aspiring athletes want to wear what their heroes wear. They buy products showcased by the fastest and most successful athletes. So?" She lifted a manicured brow.

Haru pressed his lips. "We swim our best together. We always have."

"And yet, you've been breaking records repeatedly, while separated. Not to mention, you'll be together in São Paulo and Rio. So why should I expect these three weeks to positively impact my bottom line, more than you're already doing?"

His hands curled at his sides as the internet sportscast came to mind. "What if…I did an interview or some photos? Rin usually agrees to that stuff, though I won't speak for him."

She gave him a thoughtful look. "We've been trying to protect your privacy, Nanase-kun."

"I wasn't offering to do weird photos."

Her eyes gleamed with amusement. Before she could say more, her phone rang. "Excuse me," she said, picking up the buzzing device.

The glass door of the conference room opened, Coach Akagi leaning out. "Nanase-kun, did you need something?"

"…Hai." Haru went into the room. With both of his coaches looking at him and waiting, he bowed from the waist. The nerves came back, tight in his stomach. He cleared his throat. "Please allow me to do my altitude training in Sierra Nevada. With Rin."

There was a long pause, the room silent except for the sound of Coach Akagi dropping back into his chair at the table.

Coach Fujino shifted a couple of papers around and exhaled.

Haru hesitantly straightened. The room had one round table with six chairs and a projector screen on one wall. The window shades were all raised, the 50m pool down below glistening in the sunlight.

"I never fail to be surprised by what comes out of your mouth, Nanase-kun," Fujino said, sitting back in his chair. "Be that 'I only swim free' or Norwegian…or a request like this."

Was that a good thing or a bad thing?

"Is this something you and Matsuoka-kun have been scheming?" Akagi asked.

Haru shook his head. "Rin doesn't know that I'm asking."

Fujino tapped a pen absently against his notepad. "Your request is not an easy one. It's already the weekend in Japan and late in the day in Spain. We're headed to the training facility on Tuesday…"

Haru bowed again. "Sumimasen. I know what I'm asking is difficult. I could go later, I just…" …don't want to wait three weeks until I see Rin again. "Sumimasen."

Fujino sighed. "We already accommodated Barcelona for the two of you—generously, I thought."

"Hai," Haru said, keeping his head down.

"I'm not saying we don't value what the two of you bring to each other, but there are thirty-four athletes on this team. If some members of the team feel like others are being unfairly given special treatment or shown favoritism, it affects the whole, doesn't it?"

Haru's heart sank. "Hai."

Fujino's voice softened. "Is this a want or a need? Are you saying you can't continue unless I let you do this?"

Haru swallowed, his hands curling against his knees. I want to do this for Rin. But he couldn't say that. They wouldn't understand and he didn't want it to sound like there was something wrong. That would only make things worse. "I'm not saying that," he said, his eyes stinging.

"Lift your head, Nanase-kun."

He straightened obediently, letting his hands fall open at his sides.

Coach Fujino studied his face for a long moment. "I know this is hard for you—being away from home and away from your friends like this. I know even coming to work with me at Koutei was a stretch for you. But every time you think you can't do something, I've watched you be amazing at it. Look at how far you've come, just in a year."

Sure, maybe all those things were true. But none of that changed the fact that he was only here because Rin helped him. Haru nodded because that was what Fujino expected of him.

Coach Fujino looked down, writing on his notepad. "I have your request, Nanase-kun. Let's revisit this on Monday, after the competition."

"…Hai." He barely got the word out. Haru wiped his eyes swiftly and bowed so they wouldn't see his tears. This was why he didn't ask for things, why it was so much easier to stay under the water where everything made sense and all his expectations were assured. The water never disappointed him. "Thank you, Coach Fujino," he said, turning for the door.

"…Did you catch all that? Mae-chan?" Akagi asked.

Haru froze, not realizing the phone was on.

"Yes, I did." Maekawa's voice was tinny through the speaker phone. "Fujino-sensei, we have an agenda item that is pertinent to this discussion."

"I'm aware of that, Maekawa-san." The pen tapped again. "Nanase-kun, do any of the others know about your request?"

Haru glanced back, starting to shake his head. "Oh. Just…Captain Ikehara."

Fujino nodded. "Keep it that way, please. Until we have a decision."

"Hai." Haru reached for the door—

The glass door opened before he got to it, the sponsor rep breezing into the room with her phone held to her ear. "Sí…sí… Gracias, muy amable. Adios."

Coach Fujino and Coach Akagi both hastened from their chairs and bowed low.

Haru paused, trying to remember the last time he saw his coaches be that formal with one of the sponsor reps…

The woman lowered her phone, her gaze flicking over his face before she looked at Coach Fujino. "What did you tell him?"

"We'll revisit the conversation on Monday, Tsuchiya-san," Fujino said. "After the competition."

"I see," Tsuchiya said. "Consider the finance portion all but wrapped, as soon as the Paris office calls me back to confirm their cancellation policy."

"Thank you. You are efficient as always."

"Nanase-kun." Akagi looked at him. "Have you been officially introduced? Tsuchiya-san is head of the division."

"A-ah." Haru turned so he could bow properly.

"We've met," Tsuchiya said. "I'll cover a one-to-one swap or send two. C.A.R. can accommodate either option."

A glimmer of hope woke inside him.

Tsuchiya took a seat at the table. "Pending your training impacts, of course."

The coaches joined her at the table. "Nanase-kun. Thank you," Fujino said.

It was a clear dismissal and Haru dipped his head, ducking out of the room.

-x-

He found a bench in a quiet area of the facility and sat down, not about to have Captain Ikehara find him in the shower for the second time in one day. The energy leeched from his limbs as the effort and raw emotions took their toll. Maybe jetlag was involved, too. He definitely felt…tired.

I…tried, Rin. There was some victory in that and in a day or two, he'd probably be able to take a bit of comfort or satisfaction from that fact. Now it just hurt. This 'adulting' stuff wasn't really that great.

But…he'd asked instead of giving up and he'd—accidentally—bargained with the head of the division of one of their major sponsors…and he hadn't completely embarrassed himself during the conversation with Coach Fujino. I wanted to do something hard, not easy. It hadn't worked out this time, but maybe next time it would. And—at least—there wasn't any way to make things worse. At the end of twenty-two days he would still see Rin in São Paulo and they would go on to Rio together…

He knew they could both get through it. I just wish we didn't have to.

Haru felt better—or at least he felt functional—by the time he was supposed to meet his teammates at the pool for practice. He stashed his things in the locker room and headed outside with a towel. It was sunny and pleasantly hot, the 8-lane, 50m pool surrounded by banners that read Open de France and Fédération Française Natation. Stadium seating lined the far side of the pool with temporary risers set up on the nearer side and at the turn-end. Behind the start end of the pool, on the left, were tents set up for the call and inspection areas.

Ozawa was waiting behind lane one, where they were supposed to meet. She wore a blue practice suit trimmed with black, her brown hair already tamed beneath her swim cap. Her goggles hung at her throat.

Haru headed over, but Takara got to him first.

"Haruka, there you are." She flung her arms around his shoulders. "Why didn't I see you in the pool?"

"Because I wasn't there," he said, peeling her off.

She frowned.

Haru looked around. All of the women were present, but their coaches and the rest of the men were absent.

"It's just us to start," Ozawa said. "Our coaches, Captain Ikehara, and Mikoshiba-kun will be joining us in a bit." She propped a hand on her hip. "Lane one for standard warm ups. Takara-chan, you're leading off."

"Hai." Takara readied her goggles and climbed onto the block.

"Nanase-kun, you're next," Ozawa said. "Then Konishi-san and Nakagawa-san."

"Hai." Haru set his towel aside and got in line. He glanced up at the glass-walled building, trying to guess where the conference room was, but he couldn't see through the tinted windows.

After Takara dove, he climbed onto the block…

-x-

They were a half-hour into the set when the others arrived—including Division Head Tsuchiya, who took a seat in the stands with sunglasses and a sunhat to shade her face. Haru was used to the sponsor reps hanging around, but he rarely interacted with them unless they needed him to sign something. He scanned the faces of his coaches and teammates but couldn't read anything—Mikoshiba was as excitable as he usually was and Ikehara looked relaxed. When his prescribed thirty-second rest was over, Haru ducked back underwater.

…By the end of the session, he was ready for a nap—or dinner and heading straight to bed. The jetlag was catching up with him; fortunately, his race tomorrow—the 100m free—had late morning heats, so he could get a little extra sleep if he needed to.

"Good work today, Olympians," Coach Fujino said as they gathered by the side of the pool. "Thanks for pulling it together and working hard. Especially those of you who had a little…extra ground to cover this morning." He glanced at Mikoshiba, Takara, and the rest of the hangover crowd. "Consider yourselves on a dry curfew tonight and tomorrow night. I trust that's clear."

"Hai." Everyone answered, the four bowing particularly low.

Fujino smiled. "Excellent. Shuttle's in twenty minutes and dinner's at 7:30. See you there, Olympians."

Stripping off his cap and goggles, Haru went to retrieve his towel and sandals—

"Nanase-kun."

He stilled at the sound of Coach Fujino's voice, laying the towel around his neck as the water dripped from his hair. "Hai." Hesitantly, he turned.

Coach Fujino gestured him towards the edge of the pool deck, near the temporary risers. Tsuchiya was climbing down from her seat, still wearing the blouse and skirt, along with a pair of striped flats.

"Join us for a moment."

His heart leapt into his throat. "Hai."

He followed them to a grassy area behind the call tents where it was quieter than the main pool.

Coach Fujino sighed, facing him. "Don't think this is normal. The only reason I have an answer for you this quickly is due to Tsuchiya-san's efforts and some extenuating circumstances."

His heart thudded in his chest. "…Hai." Haru swallowed, steeling himself—

"We've been able to arrange for a swap. You'll go to Granada; Momotarou-kun will come here."

He almost didn't hear anything past you'll go to Granada. Haru's breath caught, the shock of it flooding him. Because earlier, you said—

"I want to stress that this is atypical and largely involves factors that are…outside your request." Fujino smiled wearily, glancing at Tsuchiya. "In case anyone asks."

"It won't be a problem," she said. "Nanase-kun, your transportation arrangements, as well as Momotarou-kun's, will be covered by the company. You'll be giving up your day off to travel, but I trust this won't be an issue. I also assume you'll be fine with off-hour travel, should that be needed."

"Hai." Haru nodded quickly.

"I'll have the specifics for you tomorrow, but you can expect to leave late Sunday night or early Monday morning."

Sunday night…Monday morning… He almost felt dizzy. That was just over two days from now. Rin—

Tsuchiya folded her arms. "Now, I heard rumors about your performance suffering initially in Barcelona, prior to Matsuoka-kun's arrival. I assume you'll be able to focus for the next two days. Not that I'm making this contingent on gold medals, but I expect comparable times or better. Or we'll be having a conversation."

And Haru didn't want to find out what that meant. He bowed deeply. "I understand. Thank you, Tsuchiya-san."

Fujino exhaled. "Nanase-kun, the next time you want to request sweeping changes to your training plans, please do so when you get your itinerary. It's much easier then."

His breath caught as he straightened. "You mean…I could've asked—"

"You could have asked for anything. I'm not saying you would've gotten it, but we would have accommodated what we could."

Damnit, I didn't even think to… Haru felt sheepish. Because I don't question things. I don't ask…

"I still request that you keep this to yourself, Nanase-kun. I'll inform the others as necessary. Captain Ikehara and Mikoshiba-kun are aware."

Haru inhaled. "And Rin?"

Fujino's expression softened. "You can discuss this with Matsuoka-kun as needed. I believe Maekawa-san has spoken to him in context, but it's fine for you to share details with him." He lifted a brow. "Sorry if you were hoping to break the news yourself…"

Haru shook his head. The thought hadn't even occurred to him; it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that he and Rin could be together, swim together—

Tsuchiya loosened her arms. "Nanase-kun, I'll be in touch about potential…promotional material. But it'll be a week or so before I have anything for you on that." She smiled. "That part I do have to run through the department before we have a proposal and schedule."

He dipped his head. "Hai."

"Anything else, Tsuchiya-san?" Fujino asked.

"No, I believe that's all for now."

"You can head back then, Nanase-kun. I'll see you at dinner."

Haru bowed low. "Thank you, Coach Fujino, Tsuchiya-san." And all he could think about was wrapping his arms around Rin's waist and burying his face in Rin's hair. Haru's eyes filled with liquid. "Thank you—"

-x-

He walked back to the locker room in a daze. It almost didn't feel real. This morning it had only been a wish—an impossibility. Now—all of a sudden—it was happening. In just over two days—

At the door to the locker room, he almost ran into Ikehara, who was headed out—

The captain smiled at him. "I'm proud of you, Nanase-kun. For giving it a shot. Things won't always work out the way you want them to, but I'm glad this one did."

"Me too." Haru blinked back the moisture in his eyes. "Captain Ikehara—thank you. I wouldn't have—"

Ikehara squeezed his shoulder and slipped by. "I'm pretty sure I heard your cell phone buzzing in your locker."

Haru's eyes flew wide. Rin. He hurried inside—

His cell phone had five missed calls. Not Skype calls—real, no-kidding roaming-charged actual phone calls. Haru yanked his clothes on, stuffed everything else into his gear bag, and headed out into the hallway. Before he could even attempt to log on to wireless, the phone rang in his hand.

Haru answered, lifting the phone to his ear. "Rin—"

"HARU, WHAT THE FUCK?!" And then Rin was crying—ugly crying, by the sound of it. "How did you—? Haru…what…"

He leaned against the wall, heat circling his throat. "I…asked."

"You…you fucking asked… But you never…"

"I know. I wasn't going to but…Captain Ikehara said I should at least try…" Haru gripped the phone. "It was almost 'no,' Rin. It was so close to being 'no.'"

Rin continued to sob on the other end of the phone, barely getting any words out. "Did you… …did you know…? How…how much…" He sniffed hard. "…How much I need you right now. Haru…" His voice broke softly.

Haru's eyes welled with tears that spilled, unhindered, down his cheeks. "Yeah. I didn't tell them that was why…but yeah. I knew."

Rin cried harder, his breath coming in irregular hitches and labored sounds.

Haru closed his eyes and brushed at his face with shaking fingers. "Rin, in less than three days…"

"Haru—"

---

Saturday, July 2nd, 2016

---

"Nanase-senpai! Good luck today!"

Haru groaned and rolled over, coming face-to-face with the tablet Mikoshiba held. On it, Momo was sitting up in bed in Granada—in his sea otter pajamas—and grinning. Rin was behind him in the other bed—awake but just barely by the looks of it. He was still lying down, curled up around the dolphin plush and propped up on an elbow. The look on his face was clearly…I'm not gonna miss mornings with this kid.

"Hahaa! Good job, Momotarou. That did the trick." Mikoshiba was sitting up on his bed, cross-legged. By some miracle, the guy was already dressed in his Team Japan T-shirt and warmup pants.

I'm not gonna miss waking up like this either. Haru stifled a yawn, the shark plush tucked in his arms. "Thanks, Momo-kun. …What time is it?"

"It's five-thirty!" Momo said, beaming.

"Nn." Haru shoved his face into the pillow. "Mikoshiba—" Warm ups didn't even start until 8am…

"I know. Sorry." The guy grinned. "But he really wanted to say hi this morning. He's excited about Monday." Mikoshiba got up, taking the tablet with him. "Momotarou, let's take this outside."

"Hehe. OK!"

He left the room and Haru turned over, reaching for the laptop on the nightstand without getting up. Within minutes, he was logged on…

"Sorry." Rin yawned on the screen, still nestled under the covers. "I wasn't awake enough to realize what was happening."

"It's OK." Haru adjusted the screen tilt, just the sight of Rin's face making the morning sweeter. Waking up to you is never going to be a bad thing. His fingers trailed across the screen, along the curve of Rin's cheek and jaw before he dropped his hand back to the sheets. "Did you get some sleep?"

Rin's eyes warmed. "Yeah. Last night was a little better."

Haru smiled. "I'm glad." His eyelids still felt heavy… Haru gave in, letting them fall. "Rin…I'm going back to sleep."

"Me too."

"Wake me up at six-thirty."

"OK." Rin's voice softened. "Haru…love you."

"Mm." Haru snuggled in, tightening his arms around the shark plush. "Love you too."

-x-

Haru dreamt he was floating in a pool full of sakura blossoms with Rin in his arms. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Rei was explaining in a lot of unnecessarily complex words why Physics said this was impossible…but in the dream world it worked just fine—lying on his back with Rin resting against his chest, their arms wrapped around each other.

"Haru…"

"Hm." He threaded his fingers through damp strands of Rin's hair, utterly content.

"You should wake up." Rin lifted his head, looking up at him. Glistening water droplets and sakura petals clung to his hair.

"Nn. Don't want to."

"…If you don't get up, you can't go to the pool."

"I'm already in the pool, Rin."

"In your head, huh?"

"Yeah. It's nice. You're here with me."

Rin smiled at him. "Swimming together?"

"Nn. Just floating." Haru tightened his arms. "You're relaxed."

Rin made a soft sound of amusement. "Well, I am relaxed…"

"So let's stay here, all day. Just like this."

"Mm." Rin's eyes glittered. "As much as I'd like to…" His smile turned sly. "We can do this two ways, Haru. Either you wake up…or I'll wake you up—" He shifted, a kiss grazing Haru's skin—

Haru's eyes flew open, his lips parted in a gasp. His pulse was running fast as he twisted in the sheets, facing Rin on the laptop screen. Rin was lying on his stomach with his head cradled on folded arms. Just the upper half of his face was visible and Rin's bedroom eyes were the sexiest thing Haru had ever seen—

He exhaled. "I didn't dream you said that to me, just now."

Rin chuckled. "Nope." He turned onto his side, using his folded arm for a pillow. "Good dream?" he asked, cocking a brow.

"Really good." Haru lowered his voice. "And it was getting better."

Rin's smile was playful, his gaze alight with pleasure. "It's six-thirty."

Haru sighed. "Yeah, I figured." He ran a hand through his hair and reluctantly sat up. "You've got practice?"

"Seven-thirty. So we can be done in time to watch the heats."

Haru nodded. He climbed out of bed, moving the laptop to the desk as he stripped off Rin's shark T-shirt and reached into his suitcase. He pulled out a dark gray Team Japan T-shirt and his jammers, setting both articles on the bed. He paused to check the tilt on his webcam before slipping out of his underwear. Rin would yell at him if he got naked on the internet.

"Nice tan line, Haru."

He tossed Rin a smirk as he worked his Team Japan jammers up his thighs. "Forty-seven seventy-five, right?" Rin's national record time in the 100m free from Rome.

Rin sat up in his tank top and sleep pants, the video shifting as he adjusted his tablet. The stuffed dolphin ended up in his lap. "Yeah. Feeling good about it?"

Haru shrugged, continuing to manipulate the thin, delicate fabric. "Sure."

Rin snorted. "'Sure,' he says."

He finally got the suit up around his hips and secured the cord tie. Haru braced one hand on the desk, leaning over the laptop. "I'm feeling pretty good, Rin. But the day after tomorrow will be even better."

Rin smiled, his eyes soft with veiled emotion. "You, um…" He cleared his throat, pink dusting his cheekbones. "You'll find out travel plans today?"

"Yeah. I'll text you as soon as I know."

"OK." In the depth of Rin's eyes, Haru caught a glimpse of quiet anticipation and vulnerability. Some of it he'd seen before…but some of it was new—things that Rin was showing him, sharing with him, for the first time.

The intimacy was precious to him, but it hurt, too—knowing there was rawness and pain behind that look. They had a lot to catch up on. "Rin…" Haru inhaled. "On Monday…"

Rin's gaze warmed. "Yeah, Monday…"

The tender look between them lasted for long seconds…until a door opened on Rin's side.

"Rin-senpai!"

They smiled at each other with a chagrined, knowing look.

Rin pushed a hand through his hair. "Show me something good today, Haru."

"Yeah," Haru said. "I will."

-x-

The skies over the Stade Aquatique de Vichy Val d'Allier were pale blue, threaded with clouds. It was a cooler day, Haru and his teammates wearing their full warmups to ward off any potential chill. The grounds were buzzing with activity, spectators already crowding the tents and kiosks of the Village Grand Public as well as starting to filter in and out of the stands. The 50m pool was packed with swimmers warming up; Ozawa was leading off in lane three. Up on the block in his jammers, Haru made the final adjustments to his cap and goggles. When it was his turn, he slipped into the water's embrace and spiraled leisurely to the surface, content. The water felt better today than it had in weeks.

Heats started at 10am and progressed at a steady pace, Team Japan having an entrant in nearly every event. There were competitors from over thirty nations, delegations from countries in Europe, Africa, Asia, and the Americas (though no one from the States with the US Olympic Trials still underway). The French Olympic team had a commanding presence. In the 100m free, Haru would be swimming against four of the six members of the French gold medal 4x100m freestyle relay team from London 2012, not to mention the guy whose likeness graced the Open de France banners—his top-seed time was sub-47.

While Konishi jumped into the pool for her heat of the women's 200m backstroke, Haru was on the edge of the call area, watching the screen with an earbud tucked into his ear and his phone in the pocket of his warmup jacket.

"It's a tough lineup," Rin said.

"I guess."

"Tch, Haru." He could hear the smile in Rin's voice. "You're about to swim with all of these Olympic legends and that's what you got, huh?"

"I'm not racing them, Rin. I'm racing you."

Rin's breath hitched. "Damnit, Haru."

He smiled.

After a beat, Rin exhaled. "So? I'm sure Coach Fujino told you to save it for the final…"

Haru shrugged. "I'll just do it now."

"You fucking show off."

Amusement warmed him. I love you too, Rin.

Haru's Phoenix time gave him second seed in the race—fourth lane in the ninth heat (of ten). Stripped down to his Team Japan jammers, he walked out in line with his competitors and adjusted the block for his feet. The announcer called the heat in French over the sound of cheering from the stands. Haru had one of the French gold medalists on his left in lane five and a swimmer from Belgium on his right in lane three.

"Nanase-kun!" "Haruka!" His teammates—all of whom were done with their races for the morning—cheered and waved from the rail with their coaches nearby. Division Head Tsuchiya was watching as well—expecting a good performance, just like his teammates, the reporters and fans, and everyone back home… The pressure of it all should've been weighing on his shoulders, but Haru felt relaxed and at peace.

Under the midday sun, he climbed onto the block at the long whistle. As he reached down and grabbed the block, he thought of Rin—the way their eyes would lock in adjacent lanes, just before the start of the race. Rin would be grinning, eager—

Haru smiled. He tensed for the start and leapt forward at the buzzer— The cool water enveloped him, sliding against his skin as he dolphin-kicked, propelling himself forward. There was no resistance, the water letting him glide through and surface. As he raced Rin in his mind, the bubbles running along his cupped hands with each pull of free were like streams of sakura petals caught in a current, stirring around them—

The race was over before he wanted it to end, his imagination fading beneath loud cheering and the solid wall against his palms. Haru clung to the side as he tugged his goggles down to his throat and turned for the board—

1 – LN4 – 47.71

A radiant warmth spread through his chest as he caught his breath. He was happy. The only thing missing was Rin's post-race hug…but—the day after tomorrow—we owe each other a lot of hugs, Rin.

-x-

"Nanase-kun." Tsuchiya was waiting for him in the glass-walled lobby after he exited the locker room with his gear bag. She wore cropped pants and a sleeveless floral blouse, her hair still secured by a stylus. She smiled, handing him a folded sheet of paper. "Nicely done."

"Thank you." He accepted the paper with two hands and a dip of his head, unfolding it reverently while his heart sped up in his chest. His new itinerary was spelled out in printed characters in black ink.

"You'll need to pack and check out of the hotel between the heats and finals tomorrow. The car will leave from here, as soon as events are over tomorrow night, to get to Lyon."

The anticipation rose, hot and thick, in his throat and Haru nodded.

"It's the red-eye flight, but you'll be in Granada first thing Monday morning. In addition to being the most cost-effective option, it has the benefit of being the absolute soonest I can get you there."

Haru clutched the paper tightly and bowed low. "Thank you very much, Tsuchiya-san."

"You're welcome, Nanase-kun." She lifted a brow. "Don't be slacking off in the meantime."

"Hai," he said, his heart thrilling inside him—

---

Sunday, July 3rd, 2016

---

Haru's final event of the competition was the 50m free. In a cloudless sky, the sun slowly sank towards the western horizon as he peeled off his warmups behind the block for lane three. He smoothed a wrinkle from his swim cap, ensuring the strap of his goggles was secure underneath. This was it—one last race before he could see Rin again. This morning, he'd done 21.72 on one breath to make third seed. He had a silver medal after yesterday's 100m free and a gold from the 200m free just over an hour ago. Now, he was flanked by members of the French Olympic team with one more national record to chase—Rin's 21.55 from Rome.

"Just…don't do anything stupid, Haru." Rin's voice—tight and anxious—echoed in his head. The closer it got to tonight, the more nervous Rin seemed on the phone.

I won't, Rin. Like I promised. If he needed that one breath, he'd take it. After his earlier races, he could risk Tsuchiya's wrath if he had to.

The swimmers were introduced in French by the announcer; the four-pulse whistle followed. Haru stepped up to the block with the sun at his back and the breeze sweeping in from his left, rippling gently across the water's surface. Fifty meters now…one thousand kilometers tonight. He'd be in Sierra Nevada before the sun came up tomorrow.

At the long whistle, Haru climbed up and set his feet. He breathed like he practiced—the way Rin first taught him months ago. Haru ignored the competitors to either side of him, the spectators and cheering, even the time he wanted to beat. He kept his thoughts calm and focused… Rin was watching and probably still worrying. Worrying that he'd overdo it, that he'd pull something or jam a finger going for the wall. Rin would never be as much of a mother hen as Makoto, but... Haru smiled to himself.

"Take your marks."

Haru stilled for the start, listening as the stadium fell quiet… When the buzzer sounded, he sprung forward— The water felt smooth as silk, but it wasn't as good as being in Rin's arms. Haru powered through fifty meters like he could swim to Spain…then his hand was against the wall and he was drawing rapid breaths of cool air.

The French swimmer in lane four pumped a fist skyward to the excited voice of the announcer and deafening cheering. Haru spared one glance at the board before he climbed out; his silver medal time was 21.55. Tying Rin's record was better than beating it and Haru felt light and free… In less than ten hours, he and Rin would be together again. He'd be on his way as soon as the award ceremonies were finished.

Haru grabbed his things from the bin, not bothering to get dressed.

"Nanase-kun, congrats!" Ozawa hugged him briefly, on her way out to the blocks for the A-Final of the women's 200m breaststroke.

"Thank you. Good luck, Ozawa-senpai."

"Thanks!" She grinned at him.

From the call area, Mikoshiba gave him a thumbs-up. The A-Final for the men's 200m backstroke would follow Ozawa's race.

Haru waved back and headed inside. He did an abbreviated cooldown in the 25m pool, then hit the showers. For the sake of the podium, he had to dress in his Team Japan warmups, but underneath he donned fresh underwear and a T-shirt for traveling. It would've been easier to place fourth and skip the podium entirely, but that would certainly have earned him the 'conversation' Division Head Tsuchiya threatened on Friday.

Haru made it out in time for the end of Mikoshiba's race, watching from the side as the guy finished in first place at the end of two hundred meters. Mikoshiba popped up with a broad grin. He climbed out of the pool and posed for pictures in his Team Japan speedo.

"Seijuurou!" Takara had one hand cupped around her mouth as she yelled from the railing of the stands. She had her phone out, undoubtedly snapping more 'reference' photos for Gou… Unless Gou had let it slip, Rin still didn't know about that.

Haru slipped earbuds into his ears and pulled out his phone, switching over to Skype…

"Nanase-senpai! Good race!" Momo's face filled the screen.

"Oi! Momo, give me that—"

"Thanks, Momo," Haru said.

"Hehee." Momo grinned and handed off the phone. He withdrew to the background, though Haru could still hear him yelling at the TV as he bounced around in a neon-yellow T-shirt and white shorts. "Nii-chan!"

"Tch." Rin was rolling his eyes as he came onscreen in Haru's dolphin T-shirt. He pushed a hand through his hair, looking marginally less tense than earlier. "Haru." He managed a smile. "A tie, huh?"

"I like it this way."

Rin sighed. "Of course you do."

Haru smiled. "Rin, I'll see you in the morning."

Rin's face clouded. "Haru, text me when you get to the airport."

"It'll be late—"

"Like I fucking care." Rin frowned. "You have to text me when you land, too."

"Rin…" Haru exhaled. "You should just go to bed and I'll be there when you wake up."

Rin didn't answer, his lips thinning into a line. His eyes were bright with worry. "Haru—"

"OK." Telling Rin it would be fine was a waste of words—he'd worry anyway. "At least try. You've got practice tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know. I'll try." Rin's face softened. "I just…"

What Rin felt in anxiety, Haru felt in anticipation, but he understood. You're just scared. It's OK, Rin. I get it. After all this time apart, to be this close to being together again… It's why I could barely swim in Barcelona.

The announcer's voice came over the speakers, introducing the swimmers for the last race of the competition—the women's 100m free A-Final.

The cheering started up again and Haru pressed his earbud so he could still hear. "See you soon, Rin. I love you."

Rin breathed out through his teeth, obviously tense. "I love you too. Text me."

"I will." He paused. "Hey, put Momo back on for a minute."

Rin lifted a brow, but leaned away from the screen. "Oi, Momo—"

Momo bounded over. "Hai! Nanase-senpai?"

"Take care of him tonight, OK?"

Rin blushed.

"Hai!" Momo beamed.

"Thanks, Momo."

"See you in the morning, Nanase-senpai!"

Haru waved at them both, holding Rin's gaze for another few seconds before he ended the call.

A swimmer from the Netherlands took gold in the final race. The medal ceremonies were directly afterwards. Haru stepped onto the podium, getting his silver medal for the 50m free and waving for the camera, all the while counting down the minutes in his head—

As soon as the awards were over, he headed back to the locker room. He traded his warmups for pants and a light jacket, gathering all of his things plus his suitcase from storage at the registration desk.

Tsuchiya was waiting for him in the glass-walled entryway, glancing at the watch on her wrist. "Ready, Nanase-kun? The car is waiting." She was wearing dark trousers and a cream-colored sweater.

The expectancy was warm in his chest. "Hai." Haru followed her outside.

His coaches and teammates were waiting by the curb where the car was parked.

Takara tackled him the second he joined them. "Haruka!" She kissed his cheek. "Safe travels! Tell your boyfriend 'hi' for me."

Haru met her gaze, smiling faintly. "I will."

Threading through the well-wishes of his teammates, he made it down to the curb and loaded his suitcase and gear bag into the trunk. Then everyone was waving, their voices overlapping— "See you in Brazil, Nanase-kun!" "Safe trip!" "Train hard!" "See you in a couple weeks!"

Haru paused next to the open car door, his eyes moistening as he took in the faces and smiles. Coach Fujino and Coach Akagi…Captain Ikehara…Ozawa and Konishi…Nakagawa…Mikoshiba and Takara… Three months ago, they were merely teammates to him, but now…after so much time swimming together and traveling together… There was a lump in his throat as he waved and got in the car. It'll be good when we're all in São Paulo.

Tsuchiya had her Blackberry in hand; she glanced over as he strapped in. "Ready?"

Haru nodded.

She smiled, leaning towards the driver. "L'aéroport de Lyon-Saint Exupéry, s'il vous plaît."

"Oui madame."

The car moved smoothly away from the curb, Haru waving one last time through the tinted windows. They turned onto the Route de Gannat, the stadium passing out of view behind a gentle slope. Haru sat back against the seat, exhaling slowly.

"You're going to have to book it through check-in and security, Nanase-kun," Tsuchiya said.

"Hai." He knew timing would be tight. In the interior pocket of his jacket, he had his itinerary, passport, and boarding pass all set to go.

For now, though, there was nothing to do but watch the sunset gild the clouds with scarlet hues—the same color as Rin's eyes.

-x-

It was dark by the time they pulled up to terminal 1. The car weaved through traffic and buses, pulling up to the curb.

"Merci beaucoup," Haru said, stepping out into the cool night and collecting his luggage from the trunk.

Tsuchiya spoke briefly with the driver in French before joining him. "Got everything?"

Haru dipped his head. "Yes."

They went inside. It was a quiet relief—having Tsuchiya's help for check-in and navigating the terminal. He could've muddled through it on his own but this was faster and it kept his travel fears at bay. She took him as far as the security checkpoint.

"Gate D-16," she said. "Funai-san will be waiting for you at baggage claim in Málaga. He'll take you to Sierra Nevada before coming back with Momotarou-kun. If you need anything, his number and my number are on your itinerary."

Haru nodded, one hand clutched around the strap of his gear bag. "Thank you, Tsuchiya-san." He bowed low. "For everything."

"You're very welcome." She stifled a yawn, smiling. "Safe travels, Nanase-kun. I'll be in touch."

"Hai."

In the line for security, Haru took out his phone. [At the airport.]

Rin's response was immediate. [At the gate?]

[No, security.]

[Cutting it close, aren't you?]

[There's enough time, Rin. Stop being fussy and go to sleep.]

[I'm not fucking being fussy!]

Haru smiled to himself. [You're in bed at least?]

[Yeah.]

He liked the thought of Rin tucked beneath the covers, sleeping peacefully... [Remember napping together back at the NTC? I'd slip into bed with you and half the time you wouldn't even wake up. You just snuggled into my arms…]

There was a pause. He imagined Rin curled up on his side with the dolphin tucked against his chest, his face lit by the glow of his phone in the darkened room.

[Damnit, Haru. I know what you're trying to do.]

You need sleep, Rin. [Is it working?]

[Just get here safely.]

[OK.] Haru sighed, tucking his phone into the outer pocket of his gear bag.

-x-

His plane was starting to board when he got through security, but he made it to the gate in time. For two hours, Haru sat in a cramped middle seat and watched out the window as clusters of lights passed beneath them on the ground. He missed the stuffed shark that was packed in his checked luggage, but the bracelet on his wrist was a comfort against his skin and beneath his fingertips. Exhaustion weighed on him heavily, but he couldn't really sleep. Every few minutes he would snap awake from splintered dreams, thinking they were landing or that he was already in the car on the way to Sierra Nevada…or that he'd missed boarding his flight and was still on the ground in Lyon. Each time, the plane was merely cruising and the engines were roaring in his ears. Flying was fine; being stuck somewhere—alone—where he couldn't effectively communicate and couldn't find his way… That fear was still present—less now but not wholly conquered yet. There was still a whisper of it somewhere inside of him, waiting in the dark. Maybe that was part of the reason Rin worried. I'm fine so long as nothing happens, but…

The Mediterranean was obsidian glass as the plane banked to the right, making a smooth arc over the water on approach before heading in towards the runway. The touchdown was soft, followed by a firm deceleration as the aircraft slowed to taxi speeds. Haru reached into his pocket, taking his phone out of airplane mode.

[Just landed in Málaga.] He rubbed his eyes, tired and stiff from sitting in place for so long.

The phone buzzed in his hand. [Your flight is three minutes late.]

[Were those the longest three minutes of your life?]

[Don't tease me, you ass.]

Haru smiled.

[…Yes.]

-x-

The sponsor rep was waiting for him at baggage claim, just as Tsuchiya said. The guy wore slacks and a buttoned-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and held a small, handwritten sign with Haru's name on it. He looked appropriately tired for it being the middle of the night. "Nanase-kun, how was your flight?"

"It was fine. Sorry for the trouble."

The guy shrugged. "It's my job. Your luggage?"

Haru glanced over as the carousel started up. "I still need to get it." His suitcase was one of the first bags offloaded and they headed outside into a warm, humid night as the sponsor rep called for the car. Haru drew a deep breath of the sea-salt air, reminded of Barcelona… The anticipation stirred fresh inside him, the fatigue falling away. Two more hours, Rin.

Málaga glowed beneath a cloudless night sky as they drove—headed north through the city and then into the mountains. The terrain was featureless and dark but the stars above Andalusia were brilliant—shimmering against blue swaths of Milky Way. Haru hugged his gear bag to his chest, wishing his camera wasn't in his suitcase in the trunk…not that he'd be willing to stop the car for a picture. But if you're not sleeping, Rin, maybe this is a sight you're seeing too.

The highway gradually turned east. The route took them along the southern edge of the city of Granada before ascending into Sierra Nevada, the road curving back and forth as it climbed in elevation. It was nearing 5:30am, the eastern horizon barely starting to lighten…

The sponsor rep took out his phone, lifting it to his ear— "…Maekawa-sensei? It's Funai. My apologies for waking you. Nanase-kun and I are about ten minutes out…"

Haru drew a breath, his heart starting to pound as he sat back against the seat.

"…If you could… Hai. …Yes, thank you. We will."

Haru tightened his arms around his bag, peering into the darkness and straining for glimpses of civilization…

The glow in the east brightened to individual lights and the car turned left, proceeding higher up the mountain. Dark tree shapes lined the road to either side as they switch-backed and continued to climb…

Then, there was a series of lights too uniform and similar to be houses or other small buildings. The facility appeared and disappeared from view behind terrain, until they came to one final sharp turn, away from the ski lodges and the rest of the village. The road narrowed, sweeping out and back towards the row of lights that lined the exterior of an Olympic-sized track.

Haru forgot how to breathe as the car slowed, ascending a gentle slope alongside a low building with two levels. In a pool of light near the entrance, there were two figures silhouetted on broad steps—

His eyes moistened. There was no mistaking Rin, the way the breeze rustled through his hair and toyed with the hem of his sweatshirt. The weeks since Barcelona felt like forever—

The car pulled left against the curb. Haru inhaled deeply and opened his door, getting out on the opposite side.

"Nanase-senpai!" Momo bounded down the front steps, dressed in street clothes and carrying a neon yellow backpack.

Rin followed at a sedate pace as he maneuvered Momo's suitcase. Haru gripped the edge of the car door as their eyes locked— Rin's face was drawn with fatigue, the shadows under his eyes prominent against skin made paler by starlight. Rin drew a tight breath and glanced away, as if that were the only way he could keep it together…

Rin. Haru closed the car door, a familiar ache spreading through his chest. He gathered his suitcase from the trunk.

"Matsuoka-kun, are we to wait for Maekawa-sensei?" the sponsor rep asked.

Rin shook his head. "She delegated."

"Ah."

"Nanase-senpai!" Momo tackled him in a hug.

Haru grunted, barely remaining upright. "Momo-kun…"

The kid's eyes danced with excitement, his grin broad. "I'm going to see Nii-chan!"

Haru nodded. "Safe travels."

"Thanks!"

The sponsor rep loaded Momo's suitcase into the trunk. "We should get going, Momotarou-kun. So we don't miss our flight."

"Hai!" The kid leapt into the car through the open door. "Bye, Rin-senpai! Nanase-senpai! See you in Brazil!"

Haru joined Rin on the curb; they both waved as the car bearing Momo and the sponsor rep pulled away slowly, U-turned, and gained speed heading down the slope. There was a gentle flash of brake lights before the car turned the corner and disappeared behind the ridge.

Haru lowered his hand. The predawn sky lightened by stages and the moon was a sliver close to the horizon. All was quiet and still except for the breeze that threaded through their hair and clothes. Holding his breath, Haru turned…

Rin was tense, almost trembling, and his face was taut with the effort of not falling apart—

Haru kept his movements slow and careful as he approached…as he slipped an arm around Rin's waist and—with his other hand—laid fingers that faintly shook against Rin's cheek. Rin's eyes glistened and moisture splashed against Haru's fingertips.

With his heart thudding in his chest, he drew Rin in close. "You didn't sleep at all, did you?"

Rin's face crumpled—

Rin crashed against him, arms circling his shoulders in an embrace so fierce the air left Haru's lungs in a rush—

"…Not a bit." Rin's voice was a broken whisper. Warm tears wetted Haru's hair.

Rin— Haru closed his eyes, heat welling up beneath his eyelids. He hugged Rin back, grasping fistfuls of Rin's sweatshirt.

When—at length—they drew back far enough to let their mouths meet, the kiss was damp with traces of salt and perfect. Haru tangled fingers into Rin's hair, unwilling to let go even for air—

Until Rin pushed at him with a snort. "Haru, I can't—"

"Nn—" His protest came out sharper than he intended; Rin met his gaze—

They both laughed, smiling through their tears and holding each other in the waning starlight…

"Rin," Haru whispered, leaning his forehead against Rin's. "I'm home."

Rin's arms tightened, his voice faltering. "Haru—"

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A/N: Transliteration and translation of Mongol800's Chiisana Koi no Uta by Wisamu.