TITLE: WORLDS APART
AUTHOR: Jaguarin
FANDOM: Birds of Prey TV
PAIRING: Barbara/Helena
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters. They are the property of DC comics and the WB network. This is just for fun..
SPECIALNOTE: Thank you WT YOU ARE DOING A GREA JOB EDITING!
"So how was it?" Barbara asked, brushing her hair in front of her mirror in her bedroom.
"Fun…" Dinah said amused, she was sitting on Barbara's bed painting her nails. "She fell asleep on the couch in the living room while watching horror movies. I covered her with a blanket, she was pissed when she realized it was pink."
"You did that on purpose." the redhead smiled.
"Yes." The blonde laughed.
"Yes, she knows we are not lying, she was just pissed to see Dick."
"Poor Dick, this time he did nothing." Barbara looked at herself in the mirror and tied her hair into a ponytail "I asked him to stop coming here until we can get Helena's memory back."
"Where is she now?"
"In the gym. I told her." The blonde said raising her hand to look her handiwork. "About you two."
"Oh… What did she say?" the red head turned to look at her protégée.
"Well from her expression, she wasn't expecting it. She said it was hard to believe, that you are straight and that she is too."
"Please!" Barbara chuckled "Helena straight?"
"She was pretty disturbed." Dinah chuckled. "You should have seen her face. It was so funny."
"You are mean Dinah, she doesn't remember anything."
"She is pretty scared of the idea." Dinah smiled amused "She is scared of you."
"Helena scared of a woman? That is hard to believe."
"Well, she thinks she is straight and that her only relationships are with men."
"No women?" Barbara raised her eyebrow.
"She didn't say a word about it." Dinah closed the bottle of nail varnish.
"Well, I think I should take things slow."
"This will be fun."
"Dinah…."
"I'm just saying."
Helana hit the punching bag hard with her feet. She turned and hit it again with her other feet. She stepped back and wiped the sweat from her face. All this was so strange, she still felt mad at Barbara but she knew it was just a crazy idea in her mind. It seems they have a good relationship… a very good relationship.
She stopped and looked at the punching bag. She sat on the bench.
She is in love with Barbara? She never thought about it. Yes she couldn't say she was strictly straight, she was bi. But Barbara? She respected her too much.
"I'm glad you are back."
Helena heard Barbara's voice behind her.
"Hi." she turned around.
"Are you still angry with me?" Barbara moved toward the young woman. She looked so hot in her exercise clothes.
The brunette adjusted her gloves, not looking at her. "A bit."
The redhead stopped her chair next to Helena.
"I asked Dick not to come back until you're no longer mad with me. He didn't know we are not in a good place."
"I'm never in a good place when he is around. I don't know what you see in 'Captain Asshat'"
"Excuse me?" the redhead narrowed her eyes.
"Nothing."
Barbara raised her eyebrow, Helena loved to use nicknames on Dick, but this one was new.
"All right." Helena said "I know I shouldn't call him that, but he is."
"Helena, I'm sorry, he is just a good friend," Barbara looked at her, "but you are right, he can be a moron, but I want you to understand that the only person important to me is you. What can I do to make you smile at me again?"
"It's… It's okay Barbara…" Helena whispered "don't worry, I just need to get used to this. It's new for me."
"How do you feel, sweetie?"
"Uhh… fine?" 'Sweetie'? It was strange to hear that from Barbara's lips.
"Are you sure? There have been no other side effects?"
"No."
"I'm glad. I want to keep an eye on you until we are sure you are one hundred percent fine." Barbara lifted her hand and brushed Helena's damp hair from her forehead, the touch was gentle and soft "I want you to know you are the most important person in my life." The redhead said "Not Dick, not anyone, just you. I love you with all my heart."
"Barbara… Are you sure?" Helena looked her.
"I've never been more sure of anything in all my life. Maybe you don't remember what is between us but it's wonderful."
"You are straight…"
The redhead chuckled. "Not anymore with you at my side."
The brunette took a deep breath and lowered her head. Barbara took her hand while quietly observing her.
"I know this may be too soon for you," the redhead whispered "but I want you to know that you can trust me. That I don't care about Dick or anyone else, just you."
"Thank you Barbara…"
Helena felt this was the weirdest thing that has ever happened to her. She always looked upon Barbara as a mentor, a role model to follow, not as this. She felt so confused. It was one thing to have a crush as a teenager who was just discovering life. It was another to face it as an adult. It was such a long time ago, and she had moved on to other things, other interests.
The old woman noticed Helena was avoiding looking at her, "Something wrong?"
"It's just…." The brunette tried to find the right words. "I..."
"You can tell me anything Hel. I'll try to do my best to help you."
"Barbara I don't remember anything about what you are telling me." The dark haired woman finally looked at her "I don't feel the same for you… I don't love you."
The redhead expected anything but that. She was speechless. It was hard to listen to those words coming from her.
"I just feel…" Helena stood up raising her arms "I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm confused."
Barbara had a hard time organizing her thoughts.
Helena covered her face with her hands. She looked up and after a few seconds she turned to look at the older woman, she felt like shit seeing the hurt in the other woman. "I'm sorry."
"We can get through this, Helena."
"Barbara…"
"I'm not asking you for anything Helena," the redhead said softly "Just let me help you."
"What If I regain my memory and I can't love you back?"
"Hel..." Barbara bit her lips "The only important thing for me is to make sure you are fine."
The dark haired woman kept silent.
"Will you stay?" Barbara asked.
"Do you want me to I stay?" Helena looked at her through her dark bangs.
"Yes."
The brunette just looked her. She still couldn't understand what was happening yet. She only knew that suddenly the emptiness she had felt for so long at being so far –in her imagination- from the redhead had gone and that the only person who could help her was Barbara.
"I don't know Barbara." Helena said, everything was so jumbled in her mind.
"Please?" the older woman looked into her eyes "I will feel better if you stayed here until you are better."
Helena sat on the bench shaking her head. "This is crazy."
"I know, it's crazy for me too." Barbara said honestly "But it's better that we are in this together so we can find out what happened and find a way to recover your memory. What do you think?"
The brunette fixed her blue eyes on her. The truth is that Barbara had always been her home, her refuge, her only friend. The only place where she could be safe was with her.
She nodded.
Barbara smiled.
"Now…" the cyber genius said wheeling her chair a few inches back "What about a little sparring?"
"Sparring?"
"I would like to make you sweat a bit." The redhead wheeled toward the rack that held the batons.
"You are very optimistic." Helena followed her, smiling.
Barbara chose a pair of batons and turned her head to look at the young woman. "Wanna bet?"
"Bet?" Helena raised her eyebrows. Barbara was not normally a betting person. "Bet what?"
"A dinner? The new restaurant near New Gotham Bay?"
"Sounds tempting."
"But I understand if you are afraid."
"No way." Helena smirked.
" 'Captain Asshat'?" Barbara chuckled "Where did you get that?"
"Uhm…. Internet?"
Barbara bit her donut while reading the newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee in the kitchen. Things had been calm in the city, and Mystic seemed to have disappeared. She still couldn't figure out what kind of weapon he had used on Helena to affect her mind in the way it had.
She longed to feel her arms around her, she missed her flirting and her warmth, but she couldn't rush things. Helena was confused and totally convinced that there was nothing between them.
She closed the newspaper and rubbed her forehead with her left hand.
Helena was so cold when she said that she didn't love her. It felt like being stabbed in the heart.
She could only hope that this amnesia would be fixed soon. She wanted her back.
This was crazy.
"How was your talk with Miss Helena, Miss Barbara?" Alfred asked walking into the kitchen
"Not good," The redhead said, folding the newspaper "She doesn't remember anything. We keep showing her things hoping she would remember just a bit but nothing works."
"Sounds bad." Alfred said.
"It is." Barbara sighed drinking of her cup of coffee. "She doesn't remember anything of the last ten months. And I mean anything."
"Are you referring to the two of you?"
"Yes."
"Then it is really bad." The gentle butler picked up the coffee pot and poured more coffee into Barbara's cup.
"Thanks. I've talked to her about us but she still doesn't remember."
"So she lost her memory?"
"No, the strange thing is she hasn't lost her memory, she just remembers a different past. I don't know how this can happen. I have been going over my analysis of her but I can't find any clues whatsoever."
"What does she think happened?" Alfred asked.
"That she works on her own," Barbara explained "that she was angry with me because I allowed Dick to join our team and let him take control and give orders."
"I remember when he tried to do just that. It was not nice of him."
"Yes, it was when I was beginning to look for Helena." The redhead remembered."I think he felt it and he did it to show he had control. Dick is a nice guy but when he is in his 'macho' mode he really is 'Captain Asshat' "
Alfred opened his eyes wide. Barbara chuckled.
"I'm sorry Alfred." She said "Helena just said that and it was funny. I try not to encourage her with her nicknames but this one was too good."
"If she has managed to retain her sarcasm, it means things are not that bad." He smirked.
"Yes, but you should have seen her when she saw Dick. She exploded." The redhead took a cookie from a plate on the table.
"Well he always did drive her nuts."
"Yes, but she was really angry. So angry that she left and said she would never come back."
"But she did."
"Yes, but I was not sure if she would. She was absolutely convinced about what she thinks she knows."
"And about your relationship?" Alfred asked "What does she say about that?"
"Well, she thinks that I'm straight and that she is too."
"Miss Helena straight?" Alfred raised his eyebrows "Then she didn't just lose her memory, she lost her mind."
"I'm thinking the same thing." Barbara took another cookie from the plate.
"This can't be easy."
"It's not, but I must be patient if I want help her." The redhead said while staring at her coffee cup "If I push her I may make things worse."
"But does she know everything about you two?" Alfred asked "Did you tell her?"
"Dinah told her. I did too, but we didn't go into details. She just knows that we are together."
"What are you going to do?"
"Try to help her to recover her memory. Maybe showing her an object, taking her to places that she knows - anything that will "click" in her head and bring her back."
"Maybe you could hit her on her head." Alfred smiled.
"Dinah offered to do it if I wanted, but I prefer the scientific method."
Alfred smiled.
"She is fighting well, her reflexes are good, all her skills are at one hundred percent"
"So the only problem is her memory."
"Yes." Barbara cleaned her hands with a napkin "Well, I must go. I have work to do on the Delphi. I need try to find out more about this 'Mystic' "
"Is Miss Helena here?"
"No, she is working at the Dark Horse bar."
"Is it not too soon?" Alfred asked picking up the empty coffee cup.
"No, I think that she needs to get back to her normal life, and it will help her to recover her memory sooner."
"Good luck, Miss Barbara."
"Thanks, I'll need it." the redhead wheeled back toward the elevator waving to him.
Barbara turned the page of her book. She was reading in bed with her back resting against the headboard. The room was lit only by the table lamp, but the truth was that she couldn't focus on what she was reading. All her thoughts were on Helena. The brunette seemed very nervous whenever they got close. She needed to be patient and hoped that the young woman would recover her memory soon.
Soft knocks on her door caught her attention.
"Come in." she said, lowering the book.
The door opened slowly and Helena's head appeared.
"May I come in?"
"You don't need to knock, sweetheart."
"Uhhh… no?" Helena felt uncomfortable. This was going to be the first night (at least in her memory) that she was going to be sleeping with Barbara. Well, she had done so many times before but in a totally different way.
"No, it's your room, I told you,"
"Yes… well…" the brunette said stepping inside.
"All your clothes are in the dressing room." Barbara waved her hands toward her left.
Helena nodded, bouncing on her heels and looking around. It was a cool room. "It's a big dressing room."
"Yes, we needed it," Barbara said "Every time you bought clothes it was like you brought the whole store home."
"I don't shop that much." The brunette frowned.
"Ask your credit card."
"Okay, I spend a lot. But they are nice outfits." Helena said opening a drawer.
"The one on your right has your pajamas." Barbara smiled.
"I sleep in pajamas?"
"Often you prefer to sleep in just your skin, and I love it."
The brunette blushed furiously. Yes, she used to do that but only when she was alone.
"Okay," Helena looked around, she couldn't hide her nervousness "I'll take a shower and be right back."
"Sure."
The redhead was sure Helena was taking the longest shower of her life. Helena had always been a confident person but whatever had hit her seemed to have changed her into a very "shy" person. She was not sure how else to describe it.
But she was a patient person, especially when it involved Helena..
After a long hour Helena stepped out of the shower with her hair still damp. She was wearing long pants and a thin t-shirt.
"Oh…" the brunette said "I thought you would be asleep."
"No, I was waiting for you." Barbara placed her book on the night table.
"I'm sorry, you didn't have to." Helena walked to the other side of the bed and lifted the covers. "I was going to take a quick shower but your bathtub is amazing. I love it."
"It's our bathtub, and yes, it's amazing." Barbara smiled, removing her eyeglasses "How was your day?"
"Fine, I got lots of tips." Helena rested her head on the pillow and snuggled under the covers. She had always liked Barbara's bed; it was big and soft. "I think people think I'm hot."
"You are."
"It's good being hot."
The redhead chuckled. "Was it a good night then? Were you okay?"
"Yes, everything was fine. It was a normal night. Did you find out anything about Mystic?"
"No, I checked the police files and nothing came up."
"Maybe I should do some sweeps."
"I don't think so. It's too soon," Barbara looked at the brunette, hoping to convince her that that was not a good idea.
"Why not? I feel fine." The brunette said
"We must be sure there are no other side effects." Barbara explained "I don't want you to faint in the middle of a fight or something like that."
"Maybe he thought he killed me," Helena said "If he knows I'm alive, he may come looking for me."
"I'd prefer if we waited a week at least."
"I feel fine."
"I don't like you risking your life, especially when it's not necessary." Barbara reached out and rested her hand on the young woman's arm. "Let's just make sure you are fine. Please?"
Helena understood her concern. She nodded.
"Thanks." Barbara leaned and kissed the brunette's forehead, surprising her.
The redhead turned off the lamp and lay on her back.
"Good night sweetheart."
"Good night Barbara." Helena turned to her side. She remembered sleeping with Barbara thousands of times, but… this time was different, knowing there was something between them, something that she couldn't remember.
She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She always felt secure and safe in Barbara's bedroom, it was like a cocoon. Before she realized it, she was asleep.
Barbara watched her. She was so used to Helena snuggling up to her that she missed it now. She was so temped to touch her, to hug her, to kiss her, but she knew she needed to give her time. But she missed Helena's playfulness. She was so used to being close to her that not being able to touch her was something she definitely didn't like.
But at least she was safe and she was home. Yes, that was what was important now.
She closed her eyes and tried to sleep.
tbc