I can't lie...this has been my favorite chapter that I have written so far, it has deep meaning to me. I would love to hear from you all reading. Do not hesitate to leave a review or constructive criticism. Thank you all for taking the time to read through this story. Please enjoy.
Dear Mia,
Everything has been according to plan. You don't have to worry about me. I am well taken care of and looked after by Evelyn, Leliana, Josephine and Cassandra. One problem gets solved and two more arise but the Inquisitor has an amazing handle on things here. She is what I-we need to get through this.
Cullen
Cullen took a last glance at the parchment, he folded it and placed it into an envelope, now handing it to the messenger.
She smiled in response, while receiving the envelope. "Lady Cassandra asked me to check on you, Commander."
"Tell her I'm fine." Cullen said, now eyeing her from his table. "Also...tell her, when I told her to stop checking on me...I didn't mean send others." He said, now annoyed.
"You...r-really want me to tell her that?" Her tone was worried and she began to fidget.
Cullen exhaled a quick breath, stifling a laugh. "Don't bother. She wouldn't listen."
"Ah...one more thing?" The messenger looked up, apologetic.
"Yes?" Cullen said, now smiling respectfully.
"Lady Ambassador would like to know your birthday, Ser." She smiled, now looking at the floor.
"Josephine wants to know the day I was born?" Cullen said eyeing her suspiciously.
"That's what she said, Ser."
"It's already passed...I don't see why that-" His tone was low, his mind deep in thought.
"She said it was important, Ser." Her tone carried slight urgency.
"It was a few days ago." He muttered, slumping in the back of his chair, rubbing his hand through his hair.
"Thank you, Ser. I hope you had an enjoyable day." She smiled while lifting his letter above her head in goodbyes and closed the door behind her.
_
Cullen walked into the War Table with Leliana and Josephine in heavy discussion, their expressions distraught.
Leliana looked up from the map, her eyes worried. "It is as we feared, Commander. Corypheus is en route to the Winter Palace. He has a few agents working within Empress Celene's ranks. We need to find out who wants her killed…" Her voice trailed, lingering on his gaze. "As peace talks are held during Celene's ball at the Winter Palace, Gaspard de Chalons, Celene's cousin, invited the Inquisitor to the ball as his guest and offers his favour if the Inquisition will support him in his bid for the throne. He also voices his suspicion that Briala, named ambassador of Orlais' elven rebels, was plotting to sabotage the peace talks." Leliana briefed, her tone serious.
"We must act quickly." Cullen nodded in agreeance. "The longer we wait, the more the Empress' life is in danger."
"Orlais would fall in her death." Josephine said while shaking her head.
"We need to keep our eyes and ears open." Leliana said, now gripping the edges of the War Table hunched over. "We must all do our part."
"With the utmost elegance and charm." Josephine added with a small smile, staring directly into Cullen's eyes.
He breathed a heavy sigh and avoided her gaze. "Understood."
The Inquisitor walked in, a slight urgency in her step she looked around the room worriedly.
"Have you been briefed, Inquisitor?" Cullen inquired, his tone serious.
"Y-Yes I have." She muttered, her eyes slightly widened.
"We have to reach the Empress before Corypheus." Cullen said matter-of-factly. "With Gaspard and Celene's armies entrenched, we cannot openly march troops to the palace." He nodded apologetically.
"My agents will ensure your soldiers get inside, but it must be a few at a time to avoid any attention." Leliana said now looking at Cullen.
"Understood." He responded curtly, tilting his head towards the Spymaster. "Just give the word and we'll begin." Cullen's tone remained stoic.
The Inquisitor looked deep in thought, Josephine eyes trailed on her, her pen pointed into the air, prepared. "We will begin tomorrow. This will give us more time to plan with our soldiers, agents and my companions."
"Very well, Inquisitor." Josephine scribbled. "I will make the final arrangements." She looked up mischievously at Cullen who looked taken aback.
"Thank you." The Inquisitor smiled serenely between the three. "A word, Commander?" She eyed Cullen seriously.
"Uh-Of course." His cheeks flushed pink, embarrassed he was called out in front of the others. However, they did not laugh this time. They stood in silence as they walked away, back to Cullen's office.
_
"Will you be alright?" The Inquisitor eyed her Commander seriously, clicking the door from behind her.
"I-uh-yes…why would-" His voice trailed, now looking out his window.
"You seem slightly troubled as of late Cullen…I've heard amongst the men, you've become unsteady at your feet, easily angered-" Her tone was worried. Cullen sighed deeply, pacing back and forth in his office. "I know you don't have much patience for nobility…"
"I'll be-" Cullen sighed deeply once more. "Come with me." He said curtly, grabbing her by the wrist and ushering her up the ladder.
"W-Where are you-" The Inquisitor stammered.
"Trust me." He looked deeply into her eyes and with a nod of agreeance she went up the stairs.
He followed close behind. She reached the top of the stairs and she surveyed the room analytically, in silence. "This is-" she whispered, finally.
"My quarters." He finished her sentence. He watched her as her stare fell across the room, her mouth slightly ajar, her linger faltered upon the massive hole in the ceiling. Nightfall came before them. The brightness of the moon etched a shadow into his path, outlining her silhouette, her every curve.
"I-uh..Cullen." She hesitated, her eyes blinking. She stared at him, mind deep in thought. "Why is-"
"Why is there a hole up there?" He pointed slightly angered. "Because I- Argh!" He groaned in protest. Rubbing his hands in his face, frustrated.
The Inquisitor inched slowly to him. Her delicate hands pulled his arms away. "Talk to me." She demanded simply, sweetly.
"Sleep," he began, an audible gulp coming from him, "...is something most people crave at the end of the night. I-I however, I dread it." His tone dropped to a whisper.
A small amount of realization crossed her face. "The lyrium?"
"Yes. I cannot be the man you hope of me. What I've b- what I go- I do not like feeling confined. It suffocates me. I left this hole here, for air. For my sanity." He said, frustrated.
"Why would you say such a thing...you are better than any other man I'd ever imagined…" She said sincerely, caressing his arm.
Cullen scoffed. "I cannot ha-hope for you to even be at my side at night when the time comes. I dread it. I'm restless...tormented. I wanted to tell you now...be-before…" He sighed heavily, smoothing his hair. "It's getting worse…" his voice faded, disappointed.
The Inquisitor took a quick step and hugged him tightly, wrapping her arms around him, cradling her head into his chest. "Is there anything I can do...to h-help?" Her voice cracked, her eyes teared as she noticed Cullen's struggle.
"Maker…" He cupped her face gently. Wiping away a stray tear. "You do much more than you realize." He said sweetly.
"H-how?" She asked, wiping her face, her nose blushed crimson.
Cullen wrapped his arms from behind her, resting his head on her shoulder. He directed her to the opening in his ceiling and lifted her chin up with his thumb and index fingers. "Watch." He said simply.
They stood in complete silence for many moments. They watched the moon shine bright, it's light reflecting in their eyes. The green tear in the sky was overshadowed by the brightness of the stars in the distance. They twinkled as if dancing around the scar in the night.
"In Haven," he began clearing his throat, "you taught me the courage of stars before you left. How light carries on endlessly even after death." His voice cracked. "I thought I lost you forever, though you weren't mine to lose. When you came back and I found you buried into the snow…" he whispered into her ear, "...with shortness of breath, you explained the infinite. How rare and beautiful it is to even exist."
"Cullen…" she whispered, holding back tears, clutching his arms tightly.
"I couldn't help but ask-" he continued, holding her even tighter, "I would've given anything to hear and see you once again…"
"I...can't find the words..." she mutterred.
"Then don't." Cullen said gently. "Allow me this moment…" He said nuzzling his nose into her hair, smelling her sweet perfume. The smell of fresh air and a beautiful garden. "You've saved me from myself, the man I was afraid to become. I promised myself to never let you go, I couldn't bare to see you leave one more time…" His voice trailed deep in thought. "Yet this world was made to be seen by your eyes, not just mine."
"I'll stay with you tonight." She loosed her grip from Cullen's grasp and gently held his face, as if delicate porcelain.
His eyes watered at her touch. He noticed her scar, and his smile weakened. "Not tonight." He said weakly. He cupped the back of her head and stared into her eyes. The blue had met the grey. The stars aligned within hers.
"Words fail me sometimes, when I think of you...when I speak to you…" She blushed, now avoiding his deep gaze.
Cullen mustered a small laugh. "When the words leave your thoughts, they enter mine. All you have to do is kiss me and I'll know what you say without you having to say it."
She slowly raised her lips against his. A tear fell down her cheek but it wasn't hers. He delicately brushed his hands into her hair.
She pulled her head back slowly. "I…"
Cullen shook his head with a small smile, resting his finger on her lips, stopping her. "I know."
She kissed him once more, deeply, as if telling him everything he wanted him to hear without another word.