Pay it Forward: Chapter 21
To say Callie was happy would be the understatement of the century. Her wife, who she had been told over and over again she'd never see awake again, was in fact awake, though it was very much to everyone's disbelief.
"What's your name?" Derek asked Arizona cutting through Callie's thoughts.
Though Arizona was trying her best to be clear, and they already gave her plenty of water for her dry throat, it was still difficult for her to speak.
"Ahzna" Was all that could come out of her.
Callie looked at Derek worried, and he just nodded his head indicating he would explain everything.
"Do you know the date?" He asked.
"No," Arizona said as clearly as she could while shaking her head, not being able to remember.
And Callie got even more worried.
After a few more standard tests Derek nodded for Callie to come closer so he could talk to them both.
"Okay, Arizona's brain activity is normal and her reflexes are a bit slow, but they're there and should improve with time. Her speech is also not where we want it to be," Derek seeing Callie take a breath with that information quickly continued, "but that's normal. With some practice, it should return to normal."
Seeing Derek take a few notes, Callie asked,
"Is that it?"
He nodded for Callie to move away from Arizona so he could speak to her privately.
"Callie, as far as I can tell, Arizona is going to be just fine. Which is really a miracle, there seems to be no immediate complications with the fact she went without oxygen for almost eight minutes, but we're still going to monitor her for a little." And with that, Callie exhaled in relief, with a bright smile taking over her face.
"But I have to tell you, patients that wake up after this long of a time tend to forget things, be moody and very emotional. It'll take a little while for Arizona to get back to herself again, and you need to be prepared for that." Derek explained.
"Yeah, yeah of course." Callie said not paying too much attention, being very anxious to finally talk to her wife. "Is that it?" Callie asked again.
"Yeah, that should be all. She'll stay here for a little while and then when she checks out, she can be discharged if everything is still good okay?" He asked.
"Yeah that's fine. Thank you." Callie said as Derek finally left the room.
Turning back to Arizona, Callie saw that the blonde seemed uncomfortable, scared and extremely confused. How was she to explain that Arizona was one week away from never waking up for good. She walked forward and moved a chair to sit as close to Arizona as she could.
"Arizona, hey." Callie said full of emotion.
"Hi," Arizona strangled out.
She tried to speak again, but Callie stopped her before she could try to hard,
"Hold on, hold on, don't push yourself too hard. Just let me explain everything and then we can go from there okay?" Callie asked while taking Arizona's hand between hers.
Nodding, Arizona relaxed and got ready for whatever it is Callie was about to tell her.
"Okay, uh you remember, you went into surgery too remove a tumor close to you heart right?" Callie hoped.
Nodding again, Callie continued.
"Good, good. Okay, well the tumor was closer to your heart than they thought and you went about eight minutes without any oxygen." Callie said tearfully.
Urging Callie to continue, Arizona nodded again, squeezing Callie's hand.
"And because of that, you were unconscious for 3 weeks." Callie finally stated.
She didn't know how much this news would affect Arizona, or if it would affect her at all. She had noticed very early on that Arizona brushed aside all the seriousness that comes with her illness and usually cracks jokes to ease the mood. But this time, it was extremely serious, one more week and she would have never seen Arizona again.
Taking all that information in, Arizona didn't know how to react. She was what she could consider a coma for almost a month, but she was okay now.
"Okay, well. It's fine now." Arizona huskily spoke as clearly as she could.
This is what Callie was hoping wouldn't happen. Did Arizona even understand the hell she went through the past few weeks? How it felt to think that someone you loved was never going to wake up?
"Arizona, no. No it's not fine. You signed a paper saying to let you go after a month; it's been three weeks and no one thought you were going to wake up… ever."
Arizona had forgotten that she signed that, it seemed obvious to her that if you didn't wake up after a month, then there was no point in trying after that.
"Callie I…"
Callie could see that Arizona was struggling and since she had just woken up this was obviously not the time to have this discussion.
"Listen, you need your rest. We can talk later. Just relax okay?" Callie softened.
Arizona nodded,
"Can you please?" Arizona asked while moving her hand to a spot next to her indicating she wanted Callie to lay there with her.
Callie couldn't help but smile and slid herself beside her wife holding on and listening to her wife's initial uneven and shallow breathing become more steady and deep.
xxxxxxx
A few days later Arizona was getting a lot better, her speech had improved dramatically and her reflexes were getting faster just as her movements became less awkward and more swift. Her and Callie hadn't spoken as much as either wanted. And with that aside, Callie was still trying to avoid what was bothering her about how carefree Arizona seemed to be about the whole situation.
As for Teddy, as hard as she tried to stay mad at her best friend, it didn't work. She had confronted Arizona earlier and had given her a piece of her mind but after that it was as if nothing happened, and again Callie couldn't believe how fast everything was returning to normal. So today she decided to get Arizona alone and finally talk, about everything. But every time Callie said that she always backed down or was driven away by her wife.
Since Arizona had woken up after she slept next to her wife, she had been acting strange and unlike herself. The first time Callie came to see her after that Arizona was distant and almost cold, and Callie couldn't for the life of her figure out why. She was fine with Teddy, she was fine everyone really except her. So after that Callie had started avoiding talking to her wife, taking on every surgery that came her way and even the ones that didn't
So as Callie stalked up to Arizona's room, she could see that her wife's room was occupied by Lexie and Mark as well. She entered the room and spoke,
"Can I please talk to Arizona… alone?"
Both Mark and Lexie sensing that there was something up with Callie's tone figured it'd be best not to argue or complain, even though they were enjoying their time.
"Yeah of course, we'll see you later Arizona," Lexie told her friend exiting the room, while Mark gave his friend a look asking what was going on and Callie whispering that she'd tell him later.
Callie went to sit next to her wife, but couldn't bring herself to actually take the seat, she was worked up and decided to just stay standing.
Callie still not saying anything, Arizona's eyebrows shot up expecting Callie to talk.
"Callie, is there something you'd like to say?" Arizona inquired.
"Yes"
"And when will I have the honor for you to finally talk to me?" Arizona retorted.
Hearing the way Arizona way addressing her caught her a little off guard but she quickly took the defensive.
"And what's that supposed to mean?" She asked.
"Oh I don't know, I haven't really seen you since I woke up and I know when you're avoiding something." Arizona spoke with a hint of sadness.
Picking that up, Callie tried to reason,
"I've been busy, I do have to work."
"Yeah, and so do Mark, Lexie, Teddy and even Dr. Bailey, and I've seen them all more than I have you."
"Well I've been…"
"Avoiding me." Arizona finished her sentence. "Yeah I can tell, and I don't know why."
They stayed silent for a little longer, Callie figuring out what to say and Arizona wondering what she actually would say.
"You're right. I have been avoiding, but it's not like you would have even cared if I did come Arizona."
Arizona sat upright more and asked,
"And what do you mean by that?"
"You're… you're not yourself, when I do come you'll barely talk to me and when you do you're angry and cold and I don't know why. And I know you only do that with me because I see the way you are with Lexie and Mark and Teddy and you're just the old Arizona with them… but not with me."
Arizona hung her head, it was true, she was fine with everyone else but that was all pretend. She had major headaches and she just didn't feel like herself and the only time that she felt she could act the way she wanted was with Callie and often times, she was mean and distant.
"I'm sorry. It's just…" Arizona didn't want to tell Callie how she's felt since the surgery, but maybe it was best. The last thing she wanted was to drive Callie away.
"Arizona please, you can tell me anything." Callie urged.
Finally looking up, Arizona began,
"I don't feel like I'm me all the time." And seeing a look of confusion spread across her wife's face Arizona pushed forward, "I have huge headaches and I get annoyed easily, I feel like yelling at everyone and sometimes I do genuinely feel like I'm back to myself and happy but then just a few minutes after I'd get angry and sad for no reason." Arizona paused for a little before continuing. "I pretend when everyone else is around. I act like I'm fine and everything's great, but when you're here I don't pretend and I'm sorry that I'm being so horrible, I just don't know why." Arizona spoke hoarsely.
Looking at her wife, Callie was trying to figure out the right words to say.
"Have you spoken to Derek? Does he know you feel like that?" Callie asked
"No," Arizona confessed
"Arizona, it's normal for people to not feel like themselves after something like this. You'll get mood swings and it will take a little while. It's only been a few days. Let's talk to Derek and see what he says yeah?" Callie said taking a hold of the blonde's hands.
"Okay." Arizona told her wife while nodding.
xxxxxxx
They had consulted Derek and he had told Arizona practically the same thing. He said to give it a little while longer and if still she feels the same they can run more tests to find out what to do next.
Callie and Arizona were better now, Callie knew why Arizona was acting to strange and was prepared for it, and Arizona tried her best to not take it out on her wife.
And now that what was bothering Arizona was off her chest, Callie wanted to talk to Arizona about what was on hers. Arizona wanted to move forward and not talk about the surgery or what happened afterwards. She knew she was out for three weeks but didn't feel it was necessary to dwell on it or even mention it, and Callie couldn't have disagreed more. They needed to talk about it, and what they would do if something like that ever happed again.
Yeah Arizona was okay now, but she was a week away from being the opposite of okay. And what if something like this happened again, she has a tumor condition and it's bound to.
And Callie was just about finished with a surgery, so afterwards she was going to Arizona's room and maybe they could talk again.
She scrubbed out and made her way to her wife's room, anxious.
Knocking on the closed door Callie heard her wife call to come in,
Walking in, Callie could see that Arizona had just woken up, and that meant she'd probably be a little extra cranky than the norm.
"Hey, I can come back later?" Callie asked secretly hoping she could avoid any confrontation from a just woken up Arizona.
"No, no your fine, please come sit." Arizona told her.
Callie went forward and took a seat on the seat next to Arizona's bed.
"I have something I want to tell you… sort of." Callie told her nervously.
Nodding and protruding her lips a little, "Well it's about time." Arizona huffed.
"What?" Callie asked.
"You're not very good at hiding when something's on your mind Calliope." Arizona answered.
"I'm not am I?" Callie laughed a little.
"Nope, not at all."
Once the humorous mood finally settled down, Callie finally spoke up,
"You act like nothing happened. Like the last month never happened and I just don't get it." Callie proclaimed. "And it did happen, and you can't keep pretending that it didn't Arizona, it could very easily happen again and what? You'll act like everything's just dandy then too?" Callie said getting louder.
"What do you want me to say Callie? I'm sorry for being sick? Wasn't that the whole reason you married me? Because I was some sad little patient who needed her hero," The blonde retorted.
"Arizona, don't even try to change the subject. You know very well that no matter what intentions we both had with this marriage, that I love you."
Hearing that Arizona instantly felt horrible. She hadn't been feeling like herself since she woke up and she didn't like it either.
"I love you too, and I'm sorry." Arizona said reaching for her wife's hand. "It's just I am sick of it all. Tumor after tumor, before I didn't mind and I was used to it. But now, I'm just tired Callie." Arizona exhaled. "I thought that by some miracle after this diabetes thing maybe the tumors would stop, I really hoped ya know." She expressed dejectedly.
"I'm sorry, I know that this is really hard for you, and I also know that you usually joke around about it to hide just how hard it is. But you don't have to joke or pretend with me Arizona. You have to know that." She said while squeezing the blonde's hand.
"And why didn't I know about that whole month thing?" Callie quickly moved on to the next thing that occupied her mind.
"It was before I met you and I just thought that if a month went by and there were no signs of me improving than there was no point in keeping me any longer." She explained.
"Well that's gotta go." Callie smiled trying to lighten the mood. "Because I want more than a month if something like this ever happens again okay?"
Nodding, Arizona replied with an okay.
Arizona held out her finger to Callie asking her to wait and the she grabbed for a bag that she kept next to her bed.
"I know you already saw it. Teddy told me. But I thought I should… tell you myself." Arizona spoke nervously.
She took out a small box that Callie knew held the ring Arizona was ready to give her three weeks ago,
"And I know things are still… weird right now, but I love you and you love me and none of the rest of it matters." She said while opening the box. "Calliope Iphigenia Torres," Arizona said while smiling, "will you please do me the honor of marrying me? For real this time." Arizona asked.
To say Callie was taken by surprise was an understatement, they were finally talking and Arizona asks the question Callie would've given everything to hear three weeks ago.
"Arizona - "
Arizona cut in,
"No listen I know I still have to get better, and it's gonna take a little bit for me to get back on my feet… literally. But I love you and I want to have a real engagement with rings and a real wedding with cake, photographers and decorations. So please say yes."
Callie chuckled a little bit and spoke,
"If you had let me finish, I was going to say of course I'll marry you."
Pausing to take everything in, a smile quickly took over Arizona's still features,
"Oh, you will?"
"Why do you sound so surprised? We are already married and I'd love to make it official and real just as much as you would." Callie smiled at her wife.
"That's great." Arizona said looking at just how beautiful her wife was and forgetting she had the box in her hand.
Callie pulled up her hand and showed it to Arizona,
"Aren't you forgetting something Arizona?" Callie hinted.
Looking at Callie's hand and realizing that she had been distracted from giving Callie the ring, she turned bright red and finally pulled the ring out to place on her awaiting fiancé's hand.
"So, just for the sake of knowing, are we technically engaged or married?" The blonde asked.
"Well I've never been engaged before and neither have you as far as I know. So I'd like to call you my fiancé for a little while." Callie nodded.
"I'd like for you to be my fiancé as well." Arizona said excitedly.
"But we do have to wait until you are completely better and then some." Callie reasoned.
"Yeah, of course. Now I've had quite a while to think and I think we should have it outdoors." Arizona suggested brightly
They began discussing all the things that would make a perfect wedding and spent the next couple of hours enjoying the other's presence.
.
.
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AN: Sorry for the delay. And I don't know how much longer I'll make this fic, so it may end soon or go on for a long time… I've yet to decide.
All mistakes are my own.
Thank you guys again so much for the follows, favorites and reviews they mean a lot, you're all so wonderful.