A/N: I was listening to this song while writing this chapter and sadly, the song wouldn't get out of my head, sorry!
CHAPTER 21
Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound
It was almost like living with a roommate.
Jeff and Briar skirted around each other for a few days, speaking only when they had no choice. A heavy tension hung over them, like a dark storm cloud that just wouldn't go away. Everyday chores became something they both dreaded; knowing they had to pass each other by but still not saying a word.
So many chances and yet they couldn't even look at each other.
They were a married couple in name only, they were acting like awkward strangers.
At best.
They shared a bed still, neither making a move to sleep elsewhere but neither making a move to hold the other either. They just clung to their respective sides, pretending to sleep; desperately wanting nothing more than to roll over and say something.
Anything.
Hell, at this point, screaming would have been a welcome relief. Anything but this unbearable silence. Ranting and raving, threats; tears, anything but this.
I found a way to let you in
But I never had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now
Finally, Jeff couldn't stand it anymore. He had made this happen, he had to fix it. He was the one who had started screaming at her, who had picked the fight. Over nothing at all. He had put this estrangement on them because he had exploded when she had asked him a simple question.
Jeff had let his anger and rage get the better of him. In a fit of that rage, he had damn near destroyed his marriage. He had to see if he could salvage it now.
He turned his head to study his wife; seeing her back was turned to him, which wasn't a surprise in the slightest. They always slept with the shades open, letting in the light from the moon which made it easy to see her outline in the darkness.
He frowned when he realized her shoulders were shaking lightly. Like she was trying not to cry. Sighing, he rolled over and hesitantly placed a hand on her side. "Bri?"
She inhaled sharply.
"Butterfly, I'm sorry." He whispered.
Briar turned so she could bury her face in his chest.
Letting out a small breath of thanks, Jeff wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly.
It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out
"I love you, Briar. I'm so sorry, Butterfly." He apologized, whispering the words over and over again. He wore no shirt and could feel her tears against his skin. It was almost like they were burning into his flesh, each one driving home the point that he had hurt her with his cruel words.
He would make things right.
He had too.
If not for him, she would never have come on the road and none of this would have happened in the first place.
Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
"I'm sorry, Bri, I'm sorry." He guided her onto her back, gently cupping her chin in his hand, staring down at her through the darkness. "Forgive me, Briar, please. Tell me you still love you." He begged, bending down to kiss all over her face; tasting her bitter tears. "God… baby, I'm so sorry, I'm-"
Briar shut him up by kissing him, telling him all he needed to know in that one action.
Lightly, Briar ran her hands over his shoulders and then down his back; feeling his muscles rolling under her palms. "I love you." She whispered huskily, smiling when he murmured a prayer of thanks under his breath.
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
No more words were needed as they made love. It was slow; explorative. Just getting to know each other as if this was their first time together when in reality they had been down this road together many times before.
There was no rush, no hurry. There was nothing pressing that needed to be tended to, besides themselves; each other.
Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning me through my darkest night
You're the only one I want
Think I'm addicted to your light
"Jeff?"
"Hmmm…" He murmured, laying flat on his back with her tucked against his side; her head resting on his chest. One arm was draped around his wife's nude; damp from perspiration body, the other folded under his pillow.
"I love you."
He smiled. He would never get tired of hearing those words. She could say them over and over; a million times a day and it still wouldn't be enough. "I love you too."
Briar sighed contently, closing her eyes as she snuggled into him.
I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again
"Are you sure this is what you want?" Jeff asked, gently tugging her so she was lying stretched out on top of him, not minding the weight at all. "Briar… if… if you don't want to be with," He had such a hard time getting these words out; his heart beating a furious tattoo in his chest just at the mere thought, threatening to leap out and explode any given second. "Bri, if you don't want to be with me…"
Briar clamped a hand over his mouth, leaning down to press her forehead to his.
Jeff smiled against her hand when she just kissed his forehead, knowing her answer. That had probably been a bad thing to say on his part but he couldn't help it. Of course, she had told him all he really needed to know during their love making.
When she removed her hand only to replace it with her lips, her kiss confirmed it.
Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out
"I think we oughta build a balcony."
Briar arched an eyebrow, tilting her head back to kiss Jeff's unshaven jaw line. They were currently snuggling together in a large round chair in front of the bedroom window, watching the sunrise over the horizon. "Why?" She asked, having a feeling she already knew.
"So we could get our asses out of bed and go sit on our balcony to do this." He yawned, wrapping his arms around her even tighter, resting his head on top of hers.
This was one of their many 'things', one they had established while they were still dating. They'd just sit and watch the sunrise together, enjoy the morning's quiet in each other's arms. It was something they hadn't done in awhile.
Sadly.
"That'd be nice…" She murmured, smiling when he mumbled his agreement.
Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
"Okay, so your momma had this thing with Sleeping Beauty… so what would she have called you if you'd been a boy?"
"Philip?"
Jeff snorted, shaking his head and spooned more Frosted Flakes in his mouth; laughing when she refilled her own bowl. "Hungry?"
"Yes, very hungry." Briar stuck her tongue out at him; reaching across the bed for the carton of milk that rested on the nightstand. "So very kind of you to bring up the food."
"I know… Philip."
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
"Alright, now… lemme see…" Briar tapped her spoon against her nose thoughtfully, giggling when Jeff crossed his eyes at her. "If you weren't in wrestling, what do you think you'd be doing?"
"I'd be a poor artist, or singer, or both." He said instantly, laughing when she shook her head. "That wasn't a fair question to ask, you already knew the answer!"
"I just like hearing you say it!"
Growling, he set aside his now empty cereal bowl and crawled towards her. Ignoring her squeals, he grabbed her by the ankles and drug her down the bed until he was hovering over her. "You're a little smartass, Butterfly."
"You love me though!"
"I do, very; very much."
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
Halo, halo
Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
"Lets' get married."
Briar stopped in drying the dishes, turning to watch as he calmly finished washing them, staring at Jeff curiously. "We're already married."
"I meant, let's renew our vows." He corrected, passing her the last bowl. He waited until she had gotten over her shock and dried it off, put it away before pulling Briar into his arms, staring down at her intently. "I love you, Briar. I don't want to lose you."He said softly. "I know we didn't have a real wedding and at the time, I never thought to ask if you'd like to-"
Briar placed her finger over his lips, smiling gently. "It was perfect, Jeff. I don't need a 'real' wedding, I didn't need it then and I don't need it now. I just need you."
He beamed down at her.
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo