Chapter 20: No Pleasure Without Pain

OPOV

I groaned softly and opened my eyes, wrapping the blanket around my naked body. I looked to my right and saw Sirius still sleeping, his arms around my waist.

The clothes we had been wearing last night were strewn on the floor, ripped off last night after we came back from dinner in Hogsmeade.

Carefully, I pulled Sirius' arms off me and slipped out of bed, grabbing his shirt off the floor and pulling it on over my body, doing the buttons to cover me up. I slipped on a pair of flip-flops and headed into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.

I looked around as I walked in. There were boxes everywhere, and the only things that were unpacked were the table, chairs, coffee pot, and bed.

Sirius and I stayed at the Potter's house for one day. In that one day, we realized how impossible it was for us to have any privacy there. Whenever we wanted time alone to spend together as a married couple, James decided that's when he wanted to be with us. I'm pretty sure he was doing it on purpose to mess with Sirius.

And then that afternoon, Mrs. Potter came into Sirius' room to collect his laundry, and found Sirius on top of me, both of us sans clothing. Basically, we decided we should probably get our own place after that.

We spent the next few days looking in all the wizarding villages. We tried Hogsmeade, but everything there was way overpriced. Next, we tried in Ottery St. Catchpole where Molly and Arthur Weasley lived, but there was nothing available. They suggested Tinsworth. They had a friend who lived there, and Molly said a lot of newly married couples lived there.

So we went there, and found the perfect cottage. It wasn't very big, but it was exactly what we wanted. A place we could call our own, with no one else there to constantly be interrupting up. Sirius jokingly suggested we perform a Fidelius charm so James couldn't find us, but I told him no.

James, Lily, and everyone else helped us move everything in, but we still hadn't unpacked much. It would take me a second to unpack if I used magic, but Sirius wouldn't allow it. He said it was all part of getting a new house—you had to unpack and move in the Muggle way, hence why James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter carried our couch in with their hands.

I stifled a yawn and opened up a box filled with plates, bowls, and cups, all wrapped in old copies of The Daily Prophet. Most of our things were actually stuff I had had my whole life. I had inherited them from my parents when they died, and the Ministry had been holding them for me until I left Hogwarts.

I flitted around the kitchen, unwrapping plates, then putting them away in the cabinets in our kitchen. I placed a bowl on the counter, then grabbed a box of cereal that was sitting next to our refrigerator. There was a cartoon leprechaun on the box that was grinning as I poured myself a bowl. I'd sent Sirius grocery shopping, and he'd come back with a bunch of junk. Around the kitchen, there were boxes of different Muggle children's cereal. I swear, my husband is five years old.

I heard a loud yawn behind me as I opened the fridge and grabbed the milk. I turned around and saw Sirius standing there in his boxers, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Good morning, Mrs. Black," he greeted me sleepily.

"Morning, Mr. Black," I grinned, grabbing a spoon and starting to eat my cereal. I walked over to him and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. He wound his arms around me and buried his face in my hair. Quickly, he lifted me off the ground and placed me on the counter, his hands on my hips.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer, setting my bowl of cereal next to me as Sirius started kissing my neck. I giggled softly when someone cleared their throat behind us. Sirius groaned and turned around, where he saw James leaning against our doorframe, smirking.

"Prongs, what the hell do you want?" he asked, leaning back and putting an arm around my waist, not caring that he was only in a pair of boxers.

"I know I'm not supposed to be bothering you this week since it's your 'honeymoon' or whatever, but I couldn't wait to tell you the big news."

"What's the big news, James?" I asked, looking curiously at him. We already knew he and Lily were in the Auror program, so I didn't know what else he could possibly be excited about.

"I asked Lily to marry me. And she said yes!" His face broke into a big goofy grin as what he said sunk in.

"James, that's wonderful!" I said, hopping off the counter and throwing my arms around his neck. "Congratulations."

"Thanks. I just can't believe she said yes," he choked out, still grinning from ear to ear.

"Nice going, mate," Sirius said, clapping him on the shoulder. "You need to marry her quick before Evans realizes she can do so much better than you," he chuckled.

"Yeah, we're getting married at the end of the summer. You'll be best man, of course," he said to my husband. "And Liv, Lily wants you to be her maid of honor."

"Me?" I asked. "Wouldn't she want her sister to do that?"

James shook his head. "Petunia's not even invited. So, you're maid of honor. Just thought I'd come and share the good news with you two. I'll leave and let you get back to your honeymoon now. See you two in a couple of days for wedding plans," he said, grinning at us as he walked out of our house and Apparated back to his parent's house.

"Wow, another wedding," I said, looking at Sirius after James left. "That's not that long after ours."

"I know," he said. "That means we got to get you pregnant before James and Lily start having kids," he said jokingly. "We have to beat Prongs and Lily, since they're probably going to have a better wedding since they'll have more time to plan it out."

"Oh, hush," I teased, pecking his lips lightly.

"But seriously, I do want to have kids with you," he said. "And I'd rather not wait too long, either," he added. "If that's okay with you."

I looked my husband in the eyes, grinning from ear to ear. "Of course that's fine with me. In fact, I—" I was cut off by a tapping at our window. There was a large, regal black owl with a letter attached to its leg. Sirius turned around and looked at it, a confused expression on his face.

"That's my family's owl. Why on earth would they be writing me?" He moved away from me, opening the window and pulling the letter off the owl before sending it on its way. He ripped open the envelope, pulling out a piece of parchment and beginning to read. I hopped off the counter and walked over to him, placing my arms around his waist. He put and arm around my shoulders, his expression going from confused to shocked.

"Love, what it is?" I asked, looking up at him with concern.

"It's Regulus," he choked out, dropping the letter on the floor and wrapping his arms around me, pulling me into a deep embrace.

"He's dead then," I said, knowing this day had been coming.

"How'd you know?" he asked, pulling back and looking at me.

"I knew this day was coming. I just didn't know when he was going to do it."

"Going to do what?" he asked.

"Leave the Death Eaters, of course," I said. "He said he was going to, and he knew he was going to die doing it," I said, remembering the conversation Reg and I had had before he helped me escape.

"Wait, you knew this was going to happen, and you let him do it? You didn't try to stop him, or tell me so I could stop him, or at least try to save him?" he shouted, pulling his arms off me and glaring. "Olivia, how could you keep this from me? You're my wife!"

"Sirius, I'm sorry! I tried to talk him out of it, but he wouldn't listen to me. And I wasn't allowed to tell anybody—he swore me to secrecy. I wanted to tell you. I did. But it wouldn't have made a difference. By the time you would have found him, it would have been too late."

"I can't believe you. You lied to me. You deliberately hid this from me. I can't trust you. Get out!"

"What?" I asked, looking at him with a confused expression.

"Get out!" he shouted, grabbing me by the arm and dragging me to the front door, opening it and pushing me out. He stormed inside, the reappeared a moment later, throwing a suitcase, a pile of clothes, and my purse out the door, slamming it in my face. I looked at our house stunned. Was he really throwing me out over this, after we'd only been married for a few days?

"Sirius?" I called hesitantly, lightly knocking on the door. Either he couldn't hear me, or he was ignoring me. I was going to go with him ignoring me. I stood up off the ground, shoving my clothes in my suitcase. I couldn't believe him—he was being completely ridiculous.

I didn't even know where to go, now. I couldn't go to James' or Remus'—they'd know something had happened since we'd ordered them not to disturb us this week. I could try Alice and Frank's, but they'd realize something was wrong. The only other place I could think of to go was Sirius' cousin, Andromeda.

I pulled out my wand and Apparated there quickly. I was out in the open and exposed now. If any Death Eaters were watching me, it would be easy to snatch me without a struggle.

I knocked on the door twice, looking around nervously. I hoped they were home—I didn't know where else I would go if they weren't.

The door opened and Andromeda was standing there, looking behind her. "Nymphadora Tonks! Those toys better be picked up by tonight or I am throwing them away, young lady!" She turned towards me, and looked stunned. "Olivia? What are you doing here, darling?"

"Sirius and I got into a fight, and he kicked me out. I'm sorry, but I couldn't think of anywhere else to go," I said as tears welled in my eyes. "I understand if you can't let me in—"

"Nonsense," she said, taking my arm and pulling me inside, flicking her wand once and sending my suitcase upstairs. "Why don't you head upstairs and take a shower and get changed?" she suggested. "You can even take a nap. You must be tired."

"Thanks, Andromeda," I said, giving her a hug. "You don't need to be so nice to me, you know. I don't deserve it."

"Nonsense. You're a sweet person, Olivia. You didn't deserve to be thrown out like yesterday's garbage by my cousin. Besides, he has a temper. Give him time to cool down, and he'll come looking for you, I promise," she said.

I gave her a weak smile. "Thanks, but I doubt it." I headed upstairs and went into the bathroom, turning on the shower and stripping off my clothes. I stepped into the warm water, letting it run down my body and sooth my aching muscles.

I reached over, grabbed Andromeda's vanilla shampoo, and poured some in my hand, scrubbing it into my hair. It wasn't my strawberry shampoo that Sirius loved, but it still smelled nice. Besides, who cared if it wasn't the one Sirius loved? He threw me out.

I shook my head, rinsing my dark curls clean, scrubbing my body with some sort of floral body wash. I didn't particularly like it, but beggars can't be choosers.

Once I was all clean, I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a fluffy towel around my small body, quickly walking into the room where Andromeda had sent my stuff. I dried off and changed into a tank top and pair of sweat pants, tying my wet hair back in a rubber band. I laid down on the bed and pulled the covers around me, hoping when I woke up, it would all be a dream.

XXXXXXXX

SPOV

For five minutes, I seethed. Five minutes I cursed out Olivia and went over how she was a horrible person and I hated her. Five minutes I went over in my head how I made the biggest mistake of my life by marrying her.

Five minutes.

Then, I remembered how she was the most amazing woman I knew. How everything she did made me smile. How I loved her with every inch of my being. How I would never find someone like her again. How I was an idiot, and she was right—I wouldn't have been able to stop Regulus.

And how, in a moment of rage, I had thrown my wife out. My wife, who was being hunted by every Death Eater out there. How they could have been staking out our house and could have snatched her.

Panicking, I threw open the door, expecting to see Olivia sitting there, bawling her eyes out. She'd see me, slap me, scream at me, then we'd have the most amazing make up sex in the history of the world.

Instead, I saw nothing. No Olivia. No suitcase. Not even a shoe to show me there had been some kind of struggle and she'd been taken.

"Shit," I muttered aloud, kicking the potted fern next to our door over. "Fuck. Where the hell is she?" I paced back and forth a few times, thinking where she could have gone. Remus! He was her best friends. Maybe she went there.

I went back inside and quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a tee shirt, then Apparated to Remus' apartment, hoping to find Olivia there. I was too panicked that I didn't even bother knocking—I just walked right in. Bad idea.

Claire was lying on Remus' couch, her legs hanging over the edge, her shirt pushed up above her waist and her panties around her ankles. Remus' face was buried in her crotch while she was breathing heavily and moaning softly.

Remus looked up at me before glaring. "Padfoot! What the hell!" he shouted at me. Clair turned her head, spotted me, shoved her skirt over her lady bits, then turned bright red. She pulled her panties up then ran out of the room into Remus' bedroom.

"Sorry mate," I said with a grin. Remus didn't smile back.

"That's not funny. She's never going to let me touch her again thanks to you. Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" he asked angrily.

"I'm sorry, Moony. I wasn't thinking. I'm looking for Olivia. Have you seen her?"

He gave me an incredulous look. "No. Why the fuck would I have seen her? You two are on your honeymoon thing this week. Isn't she with you?"

"No," I admitted. "We got into a fight and I threw her out. And, I don't know where she went," I sighed.

"And you think she came here?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "You think she'd come here, really? Sirius, this is Olivia. Do you really think she'd want me or Claire or Lily or James to know you guys were in a fight a few days after you got married?"

"No," I admitted. "That would be the last thing she'd want," I sighed. "But I have no idea where she could be."

"Padfoot, this is Livy we're talking about. There's not many places she can go. No family, she's not going to go to any friends, and she'll pick someone she can trust to keep her safe—I wouldn't doubt if it was someone who was close to you."

I thought for a moment. "The only one I can think of would be Andy."

"Your cousin?" he asked. I nodded. "Well, it's worth a shot. Why don't you head over there and see if she went there."

I smiled at him. "Thanks, Moons," I said, shaking his hand. "Sorry about Claire," I said with a smirk.

He sighed. "It's fine. She'll get over it…eventually. She might not be able to look at you again, though," he said, sort of joking. "Don't worry about it—we'll be fine. Go find your wife," she said, shoving me towards the door as he headed back towards his room. "Claire Bear?" he called kindly as I Apparated outside of the Tonks' house.

I knocked three times on the door then took a step back, waiting for Ted or Andy to open the door. I wasn't expecting Nymphodora, my little cousin, to greet me.

"Mommy!" she called, running back into the house. "Mommy! It's Sirius! He came here for Olivia. Can I go and get her?" she asked.

"Dora, hush," Andy said, scooping up her daughter and strolling towards the door. "Sirius? What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I think you know what I'm doing here. Where is she?" I asked, looking around.

Andy sighed. "You know, you're a real idiot. Why would you kick her out when you know every Death Eater is out looking for her? Do you want her dead?"

"No, I—"

"I mean, honestly Sirius. If they were watching your house, she could have been snatched and you would have never seen here again."

"I—"

"You're her husband! You're supposed to—"

"ANDROMEDA!" I shouted, just to get her to shut up. She looked at me, arching her eyebrow. "I know what I did was stupid. All I want is to go and apologize to my wife. Where is she?"

Andy sighed. "Upstairs in the guest room sleeping. But she doesn't want to see you."

"Well, I don't care," I said, climbing up the stairs. I walked to the end of the hall and peaked in the open door. On the bed in the room, Olivia was curled under the blankets, fast asleep. I smiled to myself, heading over and carefully climbing on the bed next to her.

She stirred slightly before opening her eyes and looking at me. "Sirius?" she whispered.

"Hey baby," I said softly. "It's me, love." I bent down and kissed her lightly on the forehead, brushing her hair out of her face.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, pulling her head away from me. "You threw me out a few hours ago. You said you hated me and didn't want to see me again. I would assume that meant we're over, meaning you have no right to be lying next to me."

I sighed. "Love, I didn't mean it. I swear I didn't. I was just mad. And I said stupid things. Olivia, you're the most important thing to me. Losing you is the worst thing that could happen. I know what I did was awful, but if you could find it in your heart to forgive me, please," I begged. When it came to Olivia, I would do anything not to lose her.

Olivia looked at me before getting out of bed and walking over to the door. Wow, I'd really fucked things up. I arched an eyebrow as she paused, shut the door and locked it, then turned back to me. She sauntered back over to the bed, climbing back on and kissing me deeply.

My eyes widened for a moment—I'd expected slapping and yelling, but not this. I decided not to protest, instead gripping the base of her neck and kissing her back, flipping her over so she was lying face up on the bed.

"I missed you," I whispered before roughly kissing down her neck, pushing her tank top up the whole time. I pulled my lips away for a moment as I slid the shirt off, then went back to kissing her body, running my hands over her bra.

I slid a hand under her bra and started fingering her breast softly, running my fingers over it, my lips attacking her throat with my lips the entire time.

I felt Olivia's hands run down my chest and reach the button of my jeans. I slid her sweatpants down her legs as she got the button of my jeans open. I quickly got rid of them, throwing my shirt off in the process.

She looked up at me, breathing heavily. "I want you now," she moaned, sliding her thumbs into the waist of my boxers. I shivered slightly before pulling down her panties and getting rid of my boxers as well, hovering over her entrance before pushing in.

Olivia let out a small gasp as I entered her, arching her back and pressing her body closer to mine. I groaned and tilted my head back, staying still in her for a few moments. Slowly, I started thrusting into her gently, not wanting to hurt her at all.

"Sirius," she moaned. "Baby. Don't fucking hold back," she said, running her fingers over my shoulders.

I nodded once before moving my hips faster, thrusting in and out of her quickly. "How's—that—feel?" I muttered in between thrusts, ripping off her bra, which had still been on her, and roughly massaging her breasts.

"Oh, yes!" she cried, running her fingers down my chest lightly. "Oh god yes."

I grinned and kept up my pace, bending my head down and kissing her intensely on the lips. She wrapped her legs around my waist loosely, still allowing me to keep pushing in and out of her.

Olivia kissed back, wrapping her arms around my neck, keeping my face pressed against hers. I forced my tongue into her mouth and let it explore her mouth. I felt her teasingly bite down on my tongue before releasing it a moment later.

I chuckled into her mouth, continuing to move my lips against hers roughly as I kept pounding into her. My hands remained on her bare breasts, squeezing them tightly. I took her nipple in between my thumb and index finger, pinching it lightly, causing her to moan against my lips and arch her back, pressing her body even closer to mine.

She moved her hands from behind my neck to the front of my chest, dragging her nails down my skin hard. I pulled my lips off hers and let out a growl. "Fuck, that hurt!" I hissed at her. It had actually hurt, but it felt good at the same time.

Olivia laughed lightly. "No pleasure without pain, baby," she teased, breathing heavily.

"Oh, you want to do it that way?" I asked, leaning down and biting the skin on the side of her neck, tugging on it slightly.

"Fuck, Sirius!" she cried, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and digging her nails deep into my shoulder blades. I'd be scratched and scarred tomorrow, but it would be worth it.

"No pleasure without pain," I reminded her, kissing the place where I'd just bitten her. She laughed again, dragging her nails across my back, not bothering to be gentle anymore.

I felt my body starting to shudder, and knew I wasn't going to last much longer, especially not with her moaning and crying out in pleasure. "Baby, I can't hold on much longer," I panted, pushing deeper into her.

"Oh, Sirius!" she shrieked. That sent me over the edge. I felt my body let out a long shudder as I released deep into her. That, in turn, set her off, and she orgasmed. I felt her go tight around me as she pulled me even closer. I lay on top of her as her orgasm died out before pulling out and rolling off her, lying naked next to her on the bed.

God I loved this woman.